30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Things That Bring You Complete Joy Exercise 💚 (19/30)

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 187

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Complete Joy Exercise  (19/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Things that bring you complete joy is our topic for today (Day 19) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:41

Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy. This activity is also a great one to use in conjunction with our last episode’s topic.  

As a reminder, that was about being honest about your emotions with your child. If you find yourself having a strong feeling, yet need to distract yourself a bit to hold space until you can fully process something, this will give you the space to think about happier things.  

For this tool, I went with the number four (4) and that’s because you can make this activity tactile as well. For that part, whichever hand you want, tap your index finger and then each other finger to your thumb and go around in circles, tapping each finger: one, two, three, four.

You could even mix it up and go backwards. That is part one (the tactile portion) of this activity. 

Now for the thought part: I invite you to find four things: you’ll be creating a mental list of them. They could be specific moments in time from your past; imagine an item in your house that when you look at it every time just oh, makes you feel so good; or it could be an animal, a vacation moment, or maybe your kids. 

I want to provide a warning with that last one, though. Typically, choosing to make one of your children the joy point isn’t always the best idea with parenting, and let me explain: there are days when thinking of them doesn’t bring us complete joy - it may bring you worries, or concern. 

Rather than choosing to put your child, JimBob, on your list, I encourage you to find a specific moment that you have had with JimBob that every time you think about it, it makes your heart sing, laugh, or smile. And that moment, whether they were 19 months old, or 19 years old, choose it, find that specific moment. 

Here’s a personal example: one of mine is my daughter playing at the zoo with otters and a stuffed animal. She was running back and forth and the otters kept following her - the giggles that she had in that moment - (luckily we have it on video) so much fun! Thinking of that moment makes my heart sing. 

Another one of mine was being on the beach with my feet in the sand and a margarita by my side - it felt so amazing in that moment.

Those types of moments or thoughts, that’s what you’re looking for. They’re going to be uniquely yours - find four of them.

03:36

With your list of four, combine them with the tactile part of this activity, mentally working through your list as you tap a new finger to your thumb moving on to the next one and noting that there is no need to rush. 

As mentioned earlier, this is perfect when you find yourself with a strong emotion, but don’t have the time to process it out. Running through your joyous list will help you to feel a little bit  - or maybe a lot better.  

This could become your goto tool for the next month, or maybe forever. You can head to it when, in our analogy, you realize everything's on high alert, your Protector is sending things in deliveries with alarms going off and you can't get to a point to evaluate anything to see if the thought is even worth keeping. 

In those moments, if you can think of this tool (or maybe another one that works for you) in your life's top-of-your-toolbox that you can go to, allowing yourself to reset, providing you with the space to then process, over time you will have more moments where you begin to feel better! 

And then when you have more space in your life, if you find that you have thought-box-deliveries that keep coming in and making you go to that tool, with that new space… THEN, take a look at that thought-box-delivery with some fresh eyes. Are you seeing it differently?

I absolutely love this activity. It’s super easy. It got me through a time when past me would have been wondering. “Why the heck are you reacting so calmly right now?” 

There’s so much power in this one when you figure out how to fit it into your life. It’s unbelievably fun; people may be wondering why you’re smiling; and one of my four things being my feet in the sand, that was about two hours of time in my life when that happened, but I loved it so much!

And it dawned on me that I just returned from a trip where I was able to put my feet in the sand for FIVE DAYS - a lot longer than two hours! I don’t know, maybe there’s some secret power in this…have fun, either way!

05:52

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … What four items that bring you complete joy - complete joy, can I say it one more time? Complete joy -  would you add to your mental list?

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, have fun finding those four things, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]