108: Let’s Talk About Intuition

108: Let's Talk About Intuition

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Intuition. 

What are your thoughts about it? I share mine in this episode.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My theory is that much of a human’s unsettledness, or restlessness, has more to do with not following their own intuition/guidance/GPS, than to do with the outside world.  Internal peace is life changing, and then, you know how to take the next step.  It’s so worth the discomfort to discover it.  But then, trusting it is the next big step."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares her thoughts about #Intuition 💚 and does it have anything to do with the #EmptyNest ? #MidlifePodcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen #NewEpisode #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestCoach #EmptyNestTransition

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • What Coach Christine Thinks About Intuition
  • Where the Idea for This Episode Came From
  • What This Has To Do With Empty Nesting

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you feel you have a strong intuition?
  2. What are your thoughts after listening to this episode?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 108 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 108: Let’s Talk About Intuition.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:47

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of your life!  Thanks for being here today.  I’m recording this before my daughter heads back to college, so hopefully, by the time you get this episode in your ears, I am back home, she’s in college at the campus, and hopefully, everything’s going well.  We shall see.

00:01:12

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 108 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P108).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:00

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:48

Recently Terri of Mixing Up Midlife asked on Instagram the question: “Have you made a practice of listening to your intuition, and has it served you?”  My response to Terri was, “Yes, it’s the way I stay peaceful.”  My theory is that much of a human’s unsettledness, or restlessness, has more to do with not following their own intuition/guidance/GPS, than to do with the outside world.  Internal peace is life changing, and then, you know how to take the next step.  It’s so worth the discomfort to discover it.  But then, trusting it is the next big step.

00:03:27

Now, I know Terri is interviewing someone who is a bit of an expert on intuition, so if you are curious, be sure to check out the Mixing Up Midlife podcast.  Let’s talk dictionary definition of intuition real quick.  It’s “the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.”  Or “a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.”  If you are a regular listener, Coach Christine speak of this would be that the days when your intuition is clearer to you, more than likely those are the days or moments when you have a well-trained Protector, so you are able to handle those thought deliveries in a well-curated manner.  Opening up the potential to access more of the real you and your future self, to use her as your GPS.

00:04:17

When your internal GPS is hiding behind the walls of thought deliveries that you may have in your mind, without a well-trained Protector, you’ll have a restlessness within you that you’ll want to jump to blaming on the outside world, other humans, or the circumstances of your life.  Clarity is hard to come by when you are being bossed around by your thought deliveries and your Protector.  If you haven’t already, begin to train yourself to notice those thought deliveries, my friend.  I have a bunch of episodes about that, so I’ll put those in the show notes.  

00:04:49

What does this have to do with empty nesting?  Well, let’s talk about that real quick.  Whether you are currently empty nesting or if you have a not-so-empty nest that has you in a holding pattern, if you have no clarity on how to move forward in your life, or not sure what to do with your time, generally, feel a bit lost, my guess is you have a ton of thought deliveries in your mind that keep you too busy to learn who you are outside of the roles you have had over the years.  Too busy to consider that the thought you have is optional.  Too busy to spend time alone with yourself, learning to love and accept who you are outside of the roles that you have.  Practically, what can you do?

00:05:34

Well, most of my podcast episodes are all about this.  High-level, accept the feelings that you have.  Process through them, and then work on training your Protector.  You are worth this work.  Sometimes, that internal GPS will become restless and begin to push back on you.  But what if you did the work to uncover who your future self is?  So that you could have her in view at all times, to allow that intuition to become more of a part of your everyday life.  What if?  Why not?  What do you have to lose?

00:06:09

If you are confused, or intrigued by some of my Coach Christine speak, be sure to check out the Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO, of Your Life series of episodes for more about your Protector, your thought deliveries, and how to gain momentum in your life.  As always, links are in my show notes.

00:06:30

The questions I have for you in this episode are: Do you feel you have a strong intuition?  And, what are your thoughts after listening to this episode?  I have a feeling I may have given you more questions than answers.  That’s okay.  Let me know what they are, and I’ll do another episode.

00:06:47

Well, my empty nest CEO of your life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast.  It is free, after all.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  Empty nest or not, look, I know many of us have our children with an unplanned online education.  But keep in mind, future you is cheering you on right now.  She can’t wait for you to meet her, and she is your biggest fan.  Let her be that.  She and I want you to remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:07:51

Still listening?  I am not someone who enjoys sewing; however, I do kind of enjoy the challenge of figuring out how to do something well, that I truly have no natural ability for.  I mean, cutting a straight line and precise measurements -- nope.  While I can spend hours looking through code to find a bug, I have no patience for it when it comes to sewing.  I don’t know why.  But over four months -- yes, four months, I made a handful of masks for our family, and I just finished recently, making almost two weeks worth for my daughter’s college trip.  I now, and only now, feel confident that I’ll be able to make some more for myself with no issues, other than, you know, having to rethread the bobbin.  That feels good.  Sometimes doing things we don’t love and we could easily purchase, have a pay-off that isn’t felt until you’re on the other side of it.  Was it the best use of my time?  Well, that, of course, depends purely on my thoughts about it.

[Music]

[End]

107: Empty Nest Transition Resources ⭐

107: Empty Nest Transition Resources ⭐

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Here we go. Another attempt at college during a pandemic. What an adventure for all of us - whether your child is heading back to campus with face masks, symptom monitoring, physical distancing, and no group hangouts, or if they are home.

No matter the choices that your family has made, motherhood is an adventure. Empty nesting shows up in our lives a little bit differently for each of us, but in the end, we all are doing our best to navigate this thing called life. If you need help discovering your future self, I'm here for you when you are ready to get to work. 

Take deep breaths, my empty nest friend (or future empty nest friend), and do your best to enjoy the ride. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I thought I would do a quick rundown of resources that I have available to you as you adjust to the empty nest - and for some of you the not-so-empty-nest."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New Podcast Episode🎙Coach Christine shares resources she has created specifically for mothers who are having trouble adjusting to the idea of the empty nest (not-so-empty-nest, too)! 💚 #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest  #EmptyNestSyndrome 

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 107 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine - Episode #107: Empty Nest Transition Resources.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

[intro] - be sure to use new 2020 intro: podcast creation files folder

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! 

00:00:45

Tomorrow, our daughter heads off to her senior year of college, in the midst of a year that continues to challenge the resilience of all humans. As promised in my last episode, this episode is going to be a quick one. I thought I would do a quick rundown of resources that I have available to you as you adjust to the empty nest - and for some of you the not-so-empty-nest.

First I’ll start with the podcast. Many of the episodes and resources I have created are pre-pandemic, so adjust as needed, as you listen. 

00:01:20

In episode 2, I discuss Is the Empty Nest real?, and some ways to combat the sadness and loneliness - remember, you aren’t alone. I created this entire podcast for amazing humans just like you. 

In episodes 3 - 7 - I dive into how much power you are giving away in your life through the thoughts in your mind. This is a deeper series and you’ll find the concept of thought deliveries throughout my podcast episodes. 

I have episodes on specific areas such as when you aren’t a fan of your child’s major (episode 9), how to get rid of guilt (episode 18), now that you have more time together - maybe your partner is driving you crazy? (episode 25), maybe you have no idea what to do with your time ahead - then check out episode 29, or if you’re looking on how to find friends in the empty nest: episode 31.

00:02:14

I also have interviews with experts - one of my favorites for the first semester is my chat with Katy Oliveira in episode 28 where we chat about what mom should expect during the first semester in college

I did a not-so-empty-nest-series when the physical distancing began for our family, and the wrap up of that series you may find particularly useful if your student is staying home for all (or part) of the school year - for whatever reason.

00:02:42

Of course, I have the GPS Support Flock Membership that will quickly fill your empty nest with ideas, thoughts, and activities for you to begin to discover who you are beneath all of the roles you’ve had for the last 18 or so years. Should you be interested in learning more about those, check out my free on-demand training session: Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life.

I’ve also been hanging out in Pinterest Stories lately, and have tried a few Instagram Reels - you may want to check those out. 

00:03:12

Of course, there is my website where you may search for anything I’ve discussed - that is  YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Should you be looking for quick tips and thoughts I’ve shared with others, be sure to check out my media & press page for additional interviews or posts that I’ve done on other people’s websites or podcasts - you’ll find this by clicking on Work With Christine and there you’ll find Media & Press in that sub-menu. 

00:03:37

Yes, fall 2020 is going to look different than fall 2019. That’s a given.  If you find yourself, now,  spiraling in thoughts that their school life should look different, that maybe it isn’t fair to them - or to you -  ask yourself, “why?” Why do I believe that it should it look different?  Did you get a different life-manual than I did that promises you things like the world you know isn’t going to change drastically? Yes, I am sneaking in a little bit of tough love here. But, I like to do that. Remember that when you live in the should have, you are arguing with reality. Look at what it IS, what is right now in your life, and choose to move forward. If you aren’t dead, my beautiful friend, how about you choose living in the now, rather than arguing with it and living in the should-haves. 

00:04:30

Feel those emotions, and try remembering this: PSPF - Patience for self, Self-Love, Patience for Others, and Fun: Be patient with yourself as you adjust to the next segment of your life’s journey, shower yourself with love - especially in your thoughts, have patience for your partner and other household members as they are navigating the change, too. Remember that their emotions don’t have to match yours, and don’t forget to have some fun along the way.  PSPF.

00:05:03

Okay, while you’re getting this on Friday, I’m off to enjoy the final week at home with my daughter - unless there is a last minute “hey, we’re all going all online” announcement - yeah, let’s keep it real - this is 2020.  

I think I already talked longer than I had planned. Thanks for listening, today. I appreciate you more than you know. 

00: 05:21

I was invited to chat with the amazing and wonderful Lauren Kinghorn of Inspiring Mompreneurs. It was great to connect with her, after meeting virtually online probably over a year ago . Take a listen and learn all about my grope calls - I mean group calls - yeah, nothing like getting that wrong in an interview - [giggle] - she has our chat on YouTube as well. Links, as always are in my show notes. 

00:05:58

My resilient friend, you are navigating a journey that no one could have expected a year ago. Your choices are right because they are the choices you have made - live in the now and consciously choose when you are thinking about the future -  always remembering that YOU, my beautiful friend, ARE AMAZING! Have a great day!

[bloopers]

00:06:35

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

[End]

106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings 💚

106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings 💚

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

This is your reminder to feel those feelings.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"...whether your child (or children) are heading back to campus or staying home - for whatever reason, I encourage you to feel those emotions. Trust that you are strong enough to process through them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙Coach Christine shares her thoughts on emotions around back to college (or not) season. 💚 #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #BackToSchool #Emotions #NewEpisode

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 106 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine.  Episode number 106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings, Parents! I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode and my next one are going to be on the shorter side. Well, at least that is my plan, as my daughter is gearing up to head back to campus a week from when this airs.

This is my fourth round of her heading back to or heading to college - yes, she’s heading into her senior year. I know that there is a level of anxiety that seeps into all we do. Even on the best years of on-campus returns, it is there. From all of us - yes, even my husband partakes in it. It manifests in different ways for each of us but it is there. I’ve seen it peek out in all of us over the last week. 

I’ve noticed it in me. I’ve bumped up my presence-work a bit. But before diving into the present, I do my best to name the emotion I’m feeling  - or at least to recognize how it feels in my body - and then I see if I can identify the thought that is causing it. If you are a regular listener of my podcast, you know the drill from here.  

00:01:50

Then, I work on pulling myself into the present, if the thought and emotion continues, I always find the more present I am; the less power that has on me, until eventually it has no power. That is the beauty of being present: “in the now,”  as Eckhart Tolle says. In Coach Christine speak, hmmm… kind of like that, 

It is as if, I wake up and check in with my protector. I ask them what the delivery is, I see it,  notice what it is doing to me (oh, there is a lump in my throat, my stomach feels off), and by noticing it, the power in that thought delivery begins to already subside. 

With that in mind, whether your child (or children) are heading back to campus or staying home - for whatever reason, I encourage you to feel those emotions. Trust that you are strong enough to process through them. Sometimes, by simply naming that it is anxiety, or it is nervousness, resentment, you manage to remove a layer (or sometimes ten layers) of that emotion that has a grasp on you.

00:02:54

Remember, you aren’t your emotions.  You aren’t your feelings. You aren’t even the thoughts that you have. You are an amazing human doing their best to get from one day to the next. Be kind to yourself. Gift yourself with love.

And, yes, whether your child is heading back to campus or not, I invite you to process through those emotions, and then use the extra time you have to spend some time hanging out with them. 

Give them the space to feel their emotions (of course you wouldn’t call it that, but you’ll know what you are doing) - some ideas would be to take a walk with them - destination (or no destination), have a coffee date, maybe play a board game that they loved as a child - it’s always fun to revisit things like this. 

00:03:40

Sometimes, we look back at board books or children’s books that were beloved in our house and we see the flaws in them or the things that we loved about them and it is a really fun discussion. So, while you are looking at the supplies they need for school, in the midst of all the doing of what needs to be done - be careful not to ignore what is going on behind all of those doing actions - for all of you.

Again, spend some time focused on your protector. Calm them down so that you may hold space for your family to see what lies behind their protectors. It is a gift that you will give you and your family - even if they are completely unaware of it. 

I’ll be back in a week with another quick bite episode. Now, my beautiful friend, those family members that live in your house and you don’t have to socially distance from, give them a hug - give them a  couple of extra ones this week  and create some memories.

00:04:37

And never forget that you are amazing. See ya! 

[Bloopers]

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

[End]

105: Aaaand My Child’s School Went Online Again 😮

105: Aaaand My Child's School Went Online Again 😮

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I had another topic scheduled for today, but with my clients, friends, and colleagues struggling with figuring out their fall season this year due to school changes, I sat down in front of the mic to share some unscripted thoughts with you. Forgive the rabbit trails. 🐰

My friend, please know that while the next few months look like a hot mess, you can handle it.  

Here are some thoughts to try on. Adjust as needed. 💚

  • "This isn't what we planned at all, but we will figure out how to make it work, and I'll be patient with myself as I navigate the journey forward."
  • "This isn't what we planned. I'm not sure what the future looks like, but I can figure out my next best step at this moment - even if it is to stare at the wall to calm my brain."   
    • Let's be real. Sometimes this is needed.
  • "Online again: Well, I know what didn't work last time around. How can I change those areas?" 
  • "Online again: I can adapt in ways that I couldn't imagine a year ago. This won't look the way I had planned, and that's okay."

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be there for your children. All of the thoughts and anxiety that  you have (about our current situation) they feel that - and they have their own. So I encourage you to get to know them no matter their age - what's going on in their mind?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙Coach Christine shares unscripted thoughts with you about the online education announcements that we are being gifted with daily. 💚 #OnlineEducation #NotSoEmptyNest #SchooIsOnline #FallPlans #SchoolPlans

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Watch Your Thoughts
  • Look at What You Are Considering Homeschooling
  • Consider True Homeschooling
  • Consider Cyber Schools
  • Why I Call Our Children (even those over 18) Children
  • To Consider the Level of Risk You Are Willing to Take and Do Your Thought Work

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

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Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 105 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 105: And My Child’s School Went Online Again.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I have had two different topics that I had planned to do today, and the more I see schools moving online, be it college or elementary school, middle school, high school, and parents, you know, rightly so, going right to freak out mode.  I understand there are so many things to think about.  I thought, you know, I was a homeschooling mother, so I’d like to share some thoughts with you that hopefully help you, moving forward.

00:01:27

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a question or a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 105 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P105).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:18

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:03:06

An extra thank you to bruh bruh Cuh-zoh who graciously took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. The encouraging review is titled: “Listening to a Friend!”  “From business, to parenting, to social issues coach Christine tackles them all in great form! I subscribed instantly and will listen regularly.”  This makes me feel so good.  Thank you.  You all know if you are regular listeners, I talk about this periodically, that podcasting is a quiet medium in regard to feedback.  So, thanks, Cuh-zoh!

00:03:41

Now, as I mentioned before, I had a totally different topic planned for today.  But here it is Sunday, the episode comes out Friday, and I’ve been watching colleges and schools move back to being online for fall, due to COVID-19.  Make sure you are really watching your Protector around all of the changes that are happening for your family’s schooling situation.  If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that we can handle change.  We initially think we’re not going to be able to handle this.  It’s going to be awful.  All of the plans we had are up in the air or not happening at all.  But guess what?  We can handle it.

00:04:26

We need to check our thoughts.  We need to be in tune with our Protector.  We need to watch those thought deliveries that are continually being tossed at us over and over, and over again, from our family members, from the media, from school, from well-intentioned friends, from friends who have different views and values, and ideas about how the upcoming school year is going to go.  You need to know you.  You need to watch your thought deliveries 100 percent.  

00:04:59

I want to say a few things about if your child is going online, and I’m going to talk about all age ranges real quick.  If your child’s school is online, and they are younger than high school, I want to challenge you in that if you thought what you did in the spring was homeschooling, I just want to say, no, it was not.  That’s all.

00:05:23

Well, no, that’s not all.  But when your brick and mortar school is forced to go online very quickly to an infrastructure that they are not set up to do; that teachers are not educated in how to teach online; that your child probably can do it better than them, because they spend more time on technology.  I’m not talking about subject matter.  That, and then you expecting to help them teach a lesson that you know nothing about, that my friend, is not homeschooling.  I don’t want you to give homeschooling a bad rap, because homeschooling can be amazing.  Amazing!  There are no forms to fill out.  Well, you have your end of year and beginning of year, and things you need to do for your state that you live in, legal things.  But you don’t have these forms coming in daily that you have to sign for tomorrow.  You don’t have projects that your child didn’t tell you about, that you suddenly have to help them with.  Your parent/teacher conferences are now you are heading out to have coffee, and you can pat yourself on the back, because you got to plan your day.  Yeah, homeschooling has really bad days, but it also has really good days, and you have a lot more control on what it looks like.  Guess what?  I didn’t even teach new math.  I didn’t have to.  [Giggle].

00:06:51

I just want to share with you, if your child’s young and you do have the opportunity to do traditional homeschooling, and that would work for your family, do research.  Look into it.  You can reach out to me; email me, DM me on the socials.  I am happy to talk about homeschooling, any time.  

00:07:09

Homeschooling for every family looks different.  Some have no curriculum whatsoever, that’s called unschooling.  Others replicate what brick and mortar school looks like right in their house, and that’s what works for them.  It’s all good.  And then, in the middle you have cyber schools, so I want to introduce you to the idea of cyber schools if you haven’t considered them.  Whether it’s temporary or long-term, it might be the right fit for your family, right now.

00:07:36

I share this with you because cyber schools are already set up with the infrastructure to teach online.  They already have teachers who are used to teaching online.  They have a support system, maybe not enough this year, because I’m willing to bet that most cyber schools are completely inundated with enrollment requests, but they normally have plenty of people that will help you and they know what to look for when your child isn’t doing well.  They have check-in sessions.  They can handle the IEPs online, so definitely check this out.  I’m not saying it’s the way to go, just check it out.

00:08:18

Now, if your child is technically an adult, 18 or over, yes, I like to use child no matter the age, because I’m still my mother’s child, and I’m almost 50.  Back to college.  So your child’s school moves online.  Take deep breaths.  Try to hold your thoughts until you're alone: say them out loud; say them to a friend; write them down.  Encourage your child to do the same thing.  There are a lot of variables here, too.  Who’s paying for college, is it you?  Is it them?  Do they have merit scholarships, where if they don’t go back, if they take a gap year, they’re going to lose it?  So ultimately, it doesn’t make any financial sense for them not to attend, even if it is only online. 

00:09:09

Here’s the thing, I don’t have the answer for you.  What my child’s doing and what your child’s doing, does not have to be the same.  It doesn’t have to look remotely the same.  We have totally different circumstances.  The reason my daughter is at the school she is, is completely for her to have peers that she has not had in her life.  It is the best decision we have ever made, and for her to stay home, online, at a time when she could be on campus.  Yes, there are risks involved.  We are well aware of them.  But she has decided it’s worth the risk.  She might change her mind in a week, and that’s okay.  But ultimately, the things that we can control, the things that make the biggest difference in our lives, are knowing who we are as humans, and encouraging our children to know who they are as humans.  And to be able to make a decision knowing all the facts that you know in the moment, to feel peaceful with that, and to be able to look ahead in a few years, think about yourself, and then try looking back, and going, hmm, do I think I’m happy with that decision?  Do I wish I had taken the risk?  Do I wish I had stayed home instead of taking the risk?  Who am I?

00:10:28

This is really valuable work, and it shouldn’t be something that is decided based on what you read online; based on what 80 percent of the people are doing.  Yes, it should be decided on facts that impact health, your immune system and safety, and from there, the actual decision should be yours.  It should be your child’s, your family’s, and move forward.  Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.  There is a lot of worrying what everyone else is doing.  Guess what?  No, everyone is not going to wear their mask at a college campus.  We all know this.  But you can go to Walmart and people aren’t all wearing masks, so let’s be real.  

00:11:21

This is how life works.  You figure out what risk you’re willing to take and you take it, or you don’t take it, and that’s the decision you make.  And then, you have a lot of thought work to do around that decision.  Like, a lot of thought work.  Just when you think you’re done with that thought work, there’s going to be more.  Yup, it’s a big roller coaster, and that is from my flock member, Michelle.

00:11:48

So my friend, I really, really, really, really could talk about homeschooling versus not homeschooling, and I really didn’t talk about it a lot in here, because I just know it will be four hours long.  If you want to know something: if you want to know thoughts; if you want to know what my experience is; just ask a question and I am more than happy to answer it in an upcoming episode.  I think that’s the best way to go, rather than me talk for 40 minutes about something that might not be of interest to you.  But know this, you know what’s best.  You need to trust yourself.

00:12:20

Your child, if they’re 18 or older, and they can drive away and pay for their college, and they decide to do something that you think is just not the right decision, well, I bet you did some of that stuff when you were their age.  This is their time to figure it out: to try the crazy things; to try the things that, yeah, there might be a lot of risk; it might be amazing; it might be awful, but you don’t know until you try.  Be there for your children right now.  All the thoughts and anxiety that you have about our current situation, they feel that, and they have their own.  I encourage you to get to know them no matter their age.  What’s going on in their mind?  You know?  If they’re five, hey, how’re you doing today?  Do you have any big thoughts that you want to talk about?  If they’re 18, be like, hey, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now, but like, if there’s anything that you just want to throw out there, and we can discuss, let’s do it.  There is no better way to get to know your kids.  But hold the space for them.  Listen to them.  If your gut reaction is to be like, ugh, I don’t like this, and you can feel it, just stop.  Take deep breaths.  Be curious about why you’re thinking that, and you know, be curious to them, why do you think that’s going to happen?  Why do you think that wouldn’t happen to you?  Enjoy this.  If you get more time with your kids right now, enjoy it, because the empty nest is going to show up eventually.

00:14:08

While you may have a honeymoon period where you are very excited that your children are back in school, or moved out of the house, there comes a time where you realize you miss them.  So take deep breaths, enjoy the time with them now, and bond so that when they do leave, they find themselves wanting to call mom.  Maybe not everyday.  All right, I’m just going to stop there.  Let me know what you think.  I’ll be back next week.  Remember, my friend, you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening] - Lessons from a spider web - Episode #26 - Changing Your Mind is Okay.

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104: Campfire Lessons – Did You Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

104: Campfire Lessons: Did you Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

A few weeks ago, I booked a local campsite for 24 hours to reset myself. Wow, I needed that! In this episode, I share my campfire thoughts with you. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Giving up at any one step doesn't mean you are a failure; it just means you stopped doing it."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 Coach Christine shares her campfire thoughts with you in this episode: failure and adjustments are today's topic 💚 #Campfire #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #CampfireLesson #NewEpisode #StopTrying #MovingForward

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  • A Couple of Useful Thoughts To Have When You are Working Toward a Goal

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Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?
  2. Have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 104 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 104: Campfire Lessons:  Did You Fail or Did You Stop Trying?  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  If this is your first time here, thanks for checking out my podcast.  If you are a regular listener, I can’t thank you enough.  Today’s episode is primarily my thoughts as I sat by the campfire recently.  You know I love analogies and I’m fairly certain I’ve shared this one in a variety of ways with you but always, I make a small spin that’s different.  Thanks for listening to my casual fireside chat, quite literally, I hope you enjoy it!

00:01:23

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 104 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P104).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:12

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:55

An extra thank you today, to Dale@CrushCollegeStress who took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts!  Thank you, Dale!  She titled her review “Coffee With a Friend” and well, I am going to encourage you to head over to Apple Podcasts and read it yourself.  Maybe leave your own review while you are there.  Yeah, I’m going to make you work today.

00:03:23

I would like to let you all know that I understand the upcoming fall season may not look the way you were expecting it to look. I’m going to add a chat area in the GPS Support Flock membership specific to the Not So Empty Nest, so if you are struggling with your children not leaving the house, that space will be for you. 

All right, let’s get to our campfire chat.

00:03:47

Hi, so I am at a campsite, and I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.  I shared it a little bit on Instagram.  Excuse my stuffed up nose, my allergies are off the charts, but I love being in nature so much, it is worth it to me.  I am at a campsite.  It’s local.  I drive about 28 minutes to get to this place, and last night, my daughter and I came out, did a campfire, we went back home.  That was enough for her.  She does not like the exit of the tent at night or the restrooms, when you come out and it’s suddenly, like really dark.  She is not a fan of sleeping over.  I normally do, but I thought let me try this, with COVID, and everything, any extra time I spend in the public restrooms is probably not good.  I went home last night, slept, came back this morning, by myself.  I’ve been reading, doing a couple posts on Instagram, prepping for an interview that’s coming up in a few weeks, which you would have already heard, with Dr. Jill Grimes, or I guess I say it Jill Grimes, MD, is the proper way to say it.

00:05:04

So many thoughts are with me about building a fire.  When I build a fire, first of all, it took me multiple times to get to a point where I can open my toolbox and easily grab the magnesium and steel, and feel confident enough that within a minute max, I will have a flame on a cotton ball.  So that’s how I start my fire.  But it took me time to get to that point, right?  So that’s like step one.  It’s like leveling up.  If you look at my analogies back with leveling up, and simmering, this whole thing’s a big simmer.  That was level up one.  Then, there’s the wood.  I’ve talked about this, I think in my retreat video, where in other places, fires just used to always be taken care of by the men who were camping, and it’s just something I wanted to be able to do.  Figuring out where the wood is, to purchase.  I’m in Pennsylvania, you can’t bring wood from an outside area in, because of bugs and lantern flies.  The last time I stayed here it took me 10 or 15 minutes to drive outside of the park to find somebody selling the wood.  I knew that ahead of time, now.  I picked that up on the way in, so that was easy. Okay, there’s another level up, and that’s kind of a side later level up, when you think about it chronologically.

00:06:38

Then there’s the wood.  Now watching the men in the family build fires, there were two types of wood they always used.  Now, I know that they were using, tinder and logs, and that’s really it.  Sometimes maybe newspapers would be put in there.  Sometimes we’d use firelogs to start the fire, or those little FireStarter packets that would start the fire, and it would go long enough so that a log would catch.  So, it took me a while to actually go, okay, I’m not doing this right.  How am I going to do this?  So, you know, Youtube to the rescue, and discover that tinder, kindling and the log are all needed, and the tinder is what I had prior called kindling, just to confuse you.  Discovering this is awesome.  There’s this middle piece of wood that I have needed.

00:07:43

So then, I went and bought an axe.  This is two or three levels up in camping trips.  I bought my own axe, you know that story if you listen to me.  I love my axe.  It’s green, of course.  And learned that after I purchase the wood, I can split it some more and create some kindling, and then, from that, you can create tinder, or I just pick up sticks from the ground.  All right, so those are the components.  That’s like a whole other level up.  But then, it’s like putting it all together.  I have all the pieces.  I think I’ve camped five or six times solo, that I’ve tried this or with family where I’ve started to learn how to build my own fire.  For the first time, this weekend, I was able to very quickly know what to do, remember all the steps.  I did call tinder and kindling the reverse.  I was teaching my daughter, no, this is tinder and this is kindling.  I was wrong, and I needed to learn another thing because I was having trouble with my axe trying to get pieces of kindling out of the logs for this trip, but I figured it out.  I went home, looked it up and I can consistently, now build a fire.  So there’s the one lesson, is in anything that you do, you have all these steps involved.  And giving up at any one step, doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means you stopped doing it.  Right?  I could have stopped at any point and said I can’t make a fire.  It doesn’t mean I can’t make a fire, it just means I stopped trying.  So, there’s lesson one.  Lesson two is once you get to a point where the fire is going, multiple times it will look like it is going out, and if you don’t maintain the fire, and at first, it needs a lot of work.  Just like if you’re losing weight, if you’re building a business, if you’re discovering who you are.  If you want a new career, if you want to learn a new hobby.  The very beginning, there’s a lot of work involved with it.  Learning all the pieces, and it’s the same thing.  Hello, airplane.  Do you hear the airplane?  I will wait ‘til the airplane passes.

00:10:01

Okay, I think the plane’s gone enough.  So, as you build the fire, and you get started, it takes a lot of work in the beginning to get the flames going enough to get the tinder caught, then get the kindling caught to catch onto the log.  Follow me?  Now we have a fire.  Let’s say we got to the point where the fire’s burning.  If you leave it and walk away, it will eventually go out.  It doesn’t mean that there aren’t things of value at the bottom of that fire.  There are those coals.  If you walk up to the fire that looks like it’s out, sometimes all you need to do is blow, give it a little air and it will reignite completely.  That’s just like anything we learn.  Sometimes when we go back to it, we think like it’s gone, we’re not going to do it anymore.  But we go back and it’s so much easier to start because those coals are going there for us.  Sometimes, we let it go so long, we don’t maintain it, we don’t keep up on things, that it’s not just blowing a little air on it.  We also need to move the logs around a little bit, so we need to just flip them.  Move them in different areas.  We don’t even necessarily need to add anything, just flip things around, mix it up and suddenly you have a full fire again.  

00:11:27

So I want to encourage you if you’re working on something whether it’s yourself, it’s a project with others, just know no fire just goes right from magnesium and steel, flick, phoom, into a fire you can now cook over, and take care of yourself, and heat yourself.  No, there’s work.  There’s stages and they are all worth it.  They’re all worth it.  The best part is the skills that you learn in building the fire are now things that you can come back to and utilize again.  You can start a brand new fire in a different area in your life, and you have the skills, the resources and you have the faith in yourself that you can come back and complete it.  Enjoy, there’s your campfire lesson for today.  I believe in you.  You can process through the moments that feel like you’re making no progress.  Sure you can walk away, and that is your decision.  Also know that you can walk away and come back later.  I believe in you, you are amazing.  Thanks for listening.  This is your campfire lesson for today.

[Music]

00:12:39 

I hope you enjoyed my fireside chat, friend.  The questions I have for you in this episode are: do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?  And two, have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

[Music]

00:13:01

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lancaster here, MidLife Mentor from MagnificentMidLife.com.  Today, I’d like you to remember that even if you feel like you’re stuck in the messy middle of life, you are actually coming into your prime.  And midlife is absolutely the time for you to shine.

00:13:26

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast.  It’s free. Go ahead. You can do it right now. If you already have and you can take a screenshot of this episode and share it on the socials, that would be incredible.  My handle is @EmptyNestCoach.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  Well, it is time for me to wrap this up, and you know what that means, it is time for me to remind you that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening] - Join the flock for July 2020's social media workshop!

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