113: When Something Unexpected Comes Along: Pots on the Stove 🍳

113: When Something Unexpected Comes Along: Pots on the Stove 🍳

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Some years the unexpected is more the norm than the norm (whatever that means). The unexpected has a way of leveling us up, stretching us, and making us stronger. When we focus on a specific project or route for our lives, the unexpected may cause gut reactions such as, 

  • "Why have I been working on this project the whole time?" or
  • "My work must have moved out of my zone of genius."

Or the dreaded:

  • "Wow, I've been on the wrong path this whole time!"

Sure, that could be the case, but when we zoom out to the bigger picture of our life, it might only be time to move that project to the warming oven for a bit until other things have matured. You'll never go wrong if you consider both before making a big decision.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Try different things, and know that some “recipes in the pots' are going to cook up a lot quicker than you were expecting."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Unexpected opportunities? Does it mean you are off your life's course? Coach Christine discusses in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Opportunities #Challenges💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy to Consider When Unexpected Opportunities Enter Your Life
  • To Remember to Discern What You Are Making it All Mean
  • To Remember that What You Are Making it Mean is Optional

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How many pots do you have on your stove?
  2. Is this analogy useful?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 113 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss When Something Unexpected Comes Along and it’s episode number 113.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life, and CEO around here, that is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of Your Life!  You know all of that simmering I have talked about in an early episode and within many episodes since then?  Today, let’s consider that our life may have more than one pot on the stove.

00:01:10

Before we head into our imaginary kitchen, I am about to open up a few spots for one-on-one VIP intensive coaching.  This is for those of you who can set aside two and a half hours with me.  You’ll have my full attention.  We’ll walk through your current situation, all of the tools and resources available in the Flock, how to best use them.  We’ll even create a custom path just for you.  To get on my list, message me on Instagram or send me an email at Christine@youremptynestcoach.com.  I can’t wait to work with you!

00:01:44

Of course, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 113 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P113).

00:02:02

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:49

[Boiling sound]  

In an earlier episode, episode number 29, I talk about looking at life as a simmer.  While we learn and grow, it is the time needed to become who we are meant to be, and rushing to a boil is a ton of energy that may put our lives in a state of frenzy. I say a bunch more about ingredients, recipes and such, and I’ll have a link in my show notes, of course, but what if we do that zoom up and out thing?  You know, like we can do on Google earth, where we take the focus off that one pot and now begin to see not only the stove, but the entire kitchen.

00:03:25

Let's imagine that on the stove, we see that there isn’t just one pot but actually two or three, all at different states of readiness. One pot may be for tomorrow’s lunch, prep work. The two others may be for dinner.  You know how it is, you have a well-loved and always utilized kitchen.  There is always something either just about to start or being cleaned up, or at least it feels that way!  

00:03:49

The fun part about using our imagination is that we can make the stove of ours big enough for six burners, or twelve or twenty!  This is your life analogy so as I progress, adjust accordingly.  You may have as many burners on the stove, or as many stoves as you like.  You also may use the pot to represent whatever you want.  Where, in my earlier episode I referenced a pot simmering as our life, but what if a pot was one area of your life?  You could have your career in one pot, or career options in several pots.  You could have family in one pot.  Things you are learning, you could have all in one pot or each thing you are learning is in its own pot.  You might have nine pots for your business alone, if you have your own business. 

00:04:37

The idea is that I want you to have this imagery, this analogy, for you to use as it suits you.  Let’s say for a moment that you are working on a big project for your career.  You decide to have a stove labeled career options, and you aren’t sure which one to pursue.

00:04:53

Let me pause for a moment, you know I always will ask you if your thought-deliveries are well sorted, and if you have a good gauge on who your future self is, and are you checking in with them often?  Assuming those are true, then try different things, and know that some “recipes in the pots” are going to cook up a lot quicker than you were expecting.  It isn’t until you taste it that you’ll know it is right for you, or maybe it smells super bad and oh, you know that isn’t going to work. So you either tear up that recipe, or you try it again and over time, perfect it to you and your family’s taste buds. 

00:05:33

While you are tossing a bad one down the drain, or maybe feeding it to your dog, (well, it wasn’t that bad after all) one of your other recipes finishes and it looks delicious, perfect but it wasn’t one you expected to be ready. You were really focused on another one. So much so, that you aren’t sure if this new one is worth trying right now.  Why not?  What do you have to lose?  Try it out, see what you think.  After all, that other meal on a burner might take a whole lot longer than you were expecting, and it may not be all you expected it to be, after all.  You know how recipes can be.

00:06:13

It also doesn’t mean that all of the other meals that are in prep mode, or simmering, that they just get thrown away.  All it means is that this one is ready now.  Imagine if you threw away everything else in the kitchen because this one meal was ready?  Seems a bit odd when we think of it that way, doesn’t it?  What if also, you imagine that the higher power in your life, should you have one, is like the head chef in the kitchen.  I tend to use the term Universe here, so anyone may plug in who their higher power is. But imagine that they aren’t telling you A, what you are making, and B, when your recipes will be ready.  [Ding] 

00:06:54

So they set the timer and the ding goes off with the chef stating, “pot A is done.”  Meanwhile, you were darn sure that pot C was the next thing you were about to serve.  So, of course, adjustments in your thought-deliveries need to be made.  You could spend your time yelling at the chef, complaining that you were ready to serve pot C and that needs a soup bowl, but pot A needs a plate, and you weren’t ready for that.  Or you could lean into the change, switch burners, grab the plates and get going.

00:07:25

Sometimes we do this in our life. We think we have a plan, we are focused on one thing, something else, another opportunity, pops up, and we decide that what we were working on is a complete waste.  We’re going to stop considering it at all and ever again, because this other thing showed itself to us first.  But what if instead of throwing all of that work away, you simply move it to a back burner, put it in a warming oven.  Oh, this imaginary kitchen has three.  Why not?   And you’ll have that other “pot” when you are ready to go back to it, should that happen. Then, there are those quick fry meals.  You know the ones you get for those days where you are busy juggling more than you should be and you toss something in the pan with a meal in minutes.  Those are exactly what you need some days, aren’t they? Or maybe most days for you.  Hey, it’s all good.  They serve their purpose and in life, sometimes we need little escapes (those quick meals) to gain perspective, until we have time to focus on our next project.  The way we escape doesn’t need to become our way of life.  It’s a quick fix, kind of like the top of our life’s toolbox.

00:08:43

What could this be for you in this analogy?  Maybe it’s a hobby that you need to take that allows your brain to think differently for a short time.  Now, I’m not going to tell you how exactly to use this analogy.  I trust you and your future-self.  Your GPS can figure that out.   As always, if you would like to see what materializes in your kitchen-of-life, sometimes the best meals are the ones that aren’t planned and are off the recipe.  You won’t know until you try them.  To dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock, of course.

[Music]

00:09:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how many pots do you have on your stove?  And two, is this analogy useful?  All right, friend, check your thought-deliveries, train your Protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life, and always remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:10:23

Still listening? 

It is no shock that my last episode’s still listening section was talking about things I have simmering and then I was led to this episode.  I love when that happens. I’m a multi-passionate person, so in my kitchen, there are at least four or five stoves and most have something cooking on them at any point in time. It is where I am most happy.  Are you like that?

[Music]

[End]

112: When We are Forced to Change Course 🆗

112: When We are Forced to Change Course 🆗

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Sometimes challenges - and opportunities - pop up in our life. What do you make them mean? I explore this in today's episode.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Life isn’t a one way, smooth sailing go-kart course, or street.  It has detours.  It has bumps.  It has U-turns sometimes.  Yes, sometimes we change course consciously, by making a decision, or we change our mind.  But other times, life forces us to change course for one reason or another."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙An unexpected challenge - or opportunity - is in your life? What are you making it mean? Coach Christine discusses in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Opportunities #Challenges💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy for When Life Takes You Off Your Expected Course

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How do you do when you are forced to change course?
  2. Will this analogy help next time you are forced to change course?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 112 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast; it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss When We are Forced to Change Course, and it’s episode number 112.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  Let’s imagine for a moment that you are about to get into a gocart in an imaginary, miles-long track that you know very well.  You put a helmet on, you take a moment to sit down properly.  You place your feet where they are supposed to be, seatbelts are clicked in and you do your safety checks.  I’m not sure what those are, as it has been a long time since I was in a go-kart. 

00:01:20

Now, before we walk through what happens next, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea?  You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 112 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P112).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:14

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:03:02

Back to the go-kart.  [Go-kart sound]  Imagine that you are on a course that you know very well.  It isn’t short, actually the reason you love this course so much is that you have it all worked out in your mind on the path you will take.  This one even gives you some options, in portions of the course, which-fork-in-the-road you’ll take sort of thing.  You are partial to one of the tracks and take it most of the time, but today, today you know there is a new segment that has been added and it will take you through a beautiful clearing that you’ve only heard about before.

00:03:42

You’ve done your research. You know exactly the path to take to get there.  After all, you’ve seen the signs and construction over the last few runs, and you can’t wait to experience that new segment.  Everythings ready, you start off. You feel the air rush past your body as you speed toward the route you love.  Some lefts, some rights, some ups and downs, you’ve done your practice and leveling up on those to know exactly how to handle them.  Those spin outs from your early days are a faint memory and you just keep going.  There’s the waterfall you love driving by as you can feel a slight mist on your face.  You turn the bend and know that the new segment is up ahead, but when you get there, you see that the new road isn’t ready yet.  The no entry sign is still up and you have a lot to process in a split second.   

00:04:40

We had a plan.  We know where we want to go, but we can’t go the way we had planned, for whatever reason. Now, I’ve talked about this before.  We have options in how we choose to react to the happenings in our life.  Let’s imagine that for a moment we could freeze-frame where we are.  We could stop our go-kart and make a scene.  Well, we could even get out of the kart, knock down the barrier and keep going out of sheer stubbornness.  Typically not the best option but it is an option.  We could stop the gocart in a safe spot, regroup ourselves, feel the disappointment, take it in and then move forward.

00:05:22

We could be annoyed and give up go-karting forever, even turning the go-kart around and heading back to the beginning.  That doesn’t sound like the safest option but you could do it.  And then there is the option to see the barrier; it’s there for the time being, decide it won’t be there forever and keep going forward on your usual path.  Since we are already imagining a course that doesn’t exist, and have freeze-framed it, I’d like to give you some insight on why the barrier is there.  A sinkhole opened up overnight that no one had expected, of course.  The course operators left the barrier up, but were excited to open up a route just a tiny bit further down the course that will still allow you to get to that new clearing while avoiding the sink hole.  You couldn’t have known this.  Actually, no one does, outside of the course operator who’s currently working on updating their website and letting their clients know.

00:06:16

Let’s go back to our freeze-framed options.  Option 1 has us making a scene, using up a ton of energy, complaining about the circumstance.  That’s energy we could have avoided if we had just kept going.  When we get back in the go-kart, you are so busy wrapped up in the drama that we have created in our minds, that we don’t see the new opening. I would normally say, your Protector is in full control and throwing thought-deliveries in your house and you let it happen.

00:06:46

Option 2, that we discussed, has us taking a moment to take a breather in a safe spot.  We regroup, work through our disappointment, but all while taking in the moment we see the new opening ahead that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise.  Curious now?  We get in our go-kart to check things out.  This is you feeling the feeling, reminding your Protector who is in control and considering the thought deliveries that are available to you.  Allowing you to move forward in a more peaceful place and open to new opportunities.

00:07:26

Option 3 was to give up go-karting altogether. We were so close, and that is drastic, plus we risk injury and accident driving the wrong way on the course.  Goodness gracious.  Option 4 has us seeing the barrier, and resolving quickly to be okay with it and keep going on the course we’ve always been on.  Hey, it’s fun, anyway.  While we miss the new opening, the sign was easy to miss, we get the notification as soon as you get back and have the opportunity to go try again with minimal drama.

00:08:00

How does this analogy resonate with you?  Life isn’t a one way, smooth sailing go-kart course, or street.  It has detours.  It has bumps.  It has U-turns sometimes.  Yes, sometimes we change course consciously, by making a decision, or we change our mind.  But other times, life forces us to change course for one reason or another.  Sometimes there is a new opening right away, sometimes it shows up ages later, or never, but when we spend more time in the mental drama that our Protector would like us to spin in, then we could easily miss the beautiful moments we so desperately want, or that we never even expected could happen.

00:08:47

My beautiful friend, when you clear out the drama in your mind, you’ll gain power and time in your life that you wish you had all along.  I talked a bit about thought-deliveries and your Protector in this episode.  I mention these in earlier episodes, if you are curious to learn more, see my show notes for links on those.  Also, this episode is similar to my Spider Web of Life  concept that I talk about in episode number 26.  In that one, the angle’s a bit more for when you make the decision to change.  But either analogy could work for this. You know me, always looking for new analogies for this journey called life.  Why a go-kart?  Honestly, I have no idea.  It popped in my head, and I went with it.

00:09:32

Of course, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock where you can comment right below the episode.  The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how do you do when you are forced to change course?  And number two, will this analogy help next time you are forced to change course?  Check your thought-deliveries, train your protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian, of your life and always remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:10:30

Still listening?  I have some major things simmering in my mind lately.  Is there anything simmering in yours?  I’d love to know.  And I can hear you now, “Christine, I’m simmering on everything it is 2020.”  Well your recipe should be in great shape when this simmer is over! At least that is the thought I’m choosing to use for mine.  Check out that simmering episode in the show notes.  Simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer. 

[Music]

[End]

111: Christine, My Child Isn’t in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

111: Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Believe it or not, non-empty-nest humans listen to my podcast!

What?

Yep!

Since I create these episodes with someone in mind who isn't quite yet in the empty nest, this makes sense! Sure, many of my examples are empty nest specific, but you can change them to apply to your current circumstance.  Empty nest or not, thanks for listening, my beautiful friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... the lessons I teach are life lessons. Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only seven years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙No empty nest? You can still listen to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast! You don't even have to tell anyone. 😉 Empty Nest or not, this is good stuff! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #NoEmptyNest #YouCanListen 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Why It Makes Sense That Not-So-Empty-Nesters Enjoy My Podcast
  • If This is You, How to Choose Specific Episodes

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Is the empty nest part of your life at the moment?
  2. Do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 111 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and today I answer the question; Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me?  And this is episode number 111.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  What amazingness are you up to, today?  I’d love for you to share it with me.  Visit me over on Instagram @emptynestcoach or send me an email: podcast@youremptynestcoach.com and tell me what amazingness you are up to, and this is your amazingness.  You could have finished writing a novel, or you could have managed to get out of bed despite not wanting to.  We celebrate all wins here, and I get excited when you win.  So don’t hesitate to share them with me.  Woo hoo!  Let’s do this. 

00:01:28

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:17

Someone reached out to me recently for some help with empty nesting, and made the mention “but my child isn’t in college.”  We talked back and forth a bit and hopefully she found my insight helpful.  So here’s the thing, I do have a lot of episodes focused on college, and this is why: if I can catch some of you mamas before you hit the super empty nest permanent years, and am able to help you prepare for the transition, then I feel like I will have been able to assist not only you, but also your child or children, and potentially others in the house.  If you are feeling peaceful about where you are as your child leaves, then you will be able to enjoy the moments leading up to it more. 

00:02:59

Now, all that being said, the lessons I teach are life lessons.  Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only 7 years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you.  If your child left two, ten or twenty years ago, and you're still having some trouble adjusting, I’m here for you.  Here’s the underlying message I want you to hear; I’m here for you.  Guess what? If you are a father, I’m here for you!

00:03:34

Most of my episodes that are specific to college are labeled appropriately in the title.  You may find many of my examples are around college situations, but adjust the who, what and when to your own life, and see how that works for you. And if you would like to give me an example for future episode topics, I’m always open to your ideas.  I’m creating this for you, anyway.  Well, to be perfectly honest, part of me creates it for my daughter, too, should I not be on this earth when she hits these years.  And also, while I don’t listen to every episode back all the time, but sometimes when I’m stuck on something, I’ll go, wait, I did an episode on this, and I’ll find that it’s actually crazy helpful.  Isn’t that weird?  When you think about it, I create an episode motivated by my future self. My future self then goes back and gains insight from my past self.  Whoa.  It might be a little bit too much?

00:04:32

Anyway, back to college or not. In the end, all of us, mother, or not a mother, young or old, rich or poor, are left alone with our thoughts, and our thoughts about the happenings in our life have more power than most of us realize.  I talk about this in my episodes, of course, and it is the underlying principle in all that I teach, so if you are a single 35-year-old male who enjoys my podcast, thanks for listening.  If you are a 65-year-old woman who entered empty nesting 15 years ago and is still figuring out how to navigate it all, thanks for listening.

00:05:09

Adjust the examples as needed, pick the episodes as needed,  and I would love to know that you are listening.  Send me a message, you’ll make my day.  I guess you could be wondering if you are welcome in our GPS Support Flock. Honestly, if you like this podcast then yes, of course! You are welcome to join! In the flock, I am able to assist with accountability, I’ll cheer you on and I have a place where you can ask anonymous questions.  Have a question? Just let me know!

[Music] 

00:05:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, is the empty nest part of your life at this moment?  And two, do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

[Music]

00:05:49

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lankester here, Midlife Mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com.  My top tip today is to remember what you’re told on the airplane.  Always tend to your own mask first, before helping someone else.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll do a pretty poor job of looking after anyone else.

[Music]

00:06:12

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information on how to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  Well, that’s a wrap.  Guess what?  You are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:06:55

Still listening?  As I gather my thoughts for this script, it is August 29, of 2020. Our world just lost the beautiful, creative  soul of Chadwick Boseman from his battle with colon cancer. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage III at age 38.  So, it’s about the same age.  Working through the treatments is no joke. People do it; so many people we’ll never know about, and some you’ll know everything about.  It sucks.  Cancer sucks.  Death sucks.  I mention Chadwick Boseman and colon cancer, today, because, well any time colon cancer is in the news, it hits home for our family.  And please don’t think for a minute that you can’t get it because you aren’t older than 50, obviously, it happens, so don’t ignore symptoms. Get to your doctor if you have any doubts and trust your gut if you feel something isn’t right. I’ll link to resources on colon cancer in my show notes. 

[Music]

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110: How are you doing with 2020❓

110: How are you doing with 2020❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

How are you doing? Let's check in. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity.  An opportunity to hide, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to rise to the challenge, and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves -  to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares an activity you can do when your mental energy is being drained. 💚 Grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Challenges as Opportunities
  • An Activity to do When You Feel Your Mental Energy is Being Drained
  • To Consider Transferring Your Thoughts Onto Paper

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How are you handling 2020?
  2. Has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises to you?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 110 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi!  I am Coach Christine and you are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast.  This is episode number 110 and I’ve titled it “How Are You Doing With 2020.”  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of your life! If this is your first time here, CEO in my world stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  Doesn’t that sound lovely?  This episode is going live at the end of August in 2020, and if you are listening to it right around that time, I want to say that I hope from the bottom of my heart that your family is healthy and safe.  I walk through an exercise to help you when you can’t seem to get out of a funk, if you will, in today’s episode.  If you want to share anything with me or my listeners, I always invite you to share your thoughts, or life tips, with us.  You may do this either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course,  I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 110 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P110)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:03

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:45

My beautiful, amazing friend, how are you doing?  No, really, how are you doing?  Most of us started 2020 ready to take on the world.  We had goals, plans, things to look forward to, and now, well, your goals may have been put on hold, your health may not be great, your plans may have all been canceled, your things to look forward to might have been, too.  How are you doing with all of that?  Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity; an opportunity to hide; an opportunity to grow; an opportunity to rise to the challenge; and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves, to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes; an opportunity to live in the now, the present moment; or to run from it, thinking that we’ll be able to escape from what is by looking toward what isn’t yet or what could-have-been.

00:03:53

If you are doing well, I want you to pat yourself on the back. No, really, I mean it. After you pat yourself on the back, reach out to someone today, by phone, video call, email or from six feet away, who may not be doing so well. Share your wellness and energy with them by spending time with them.  If you aren’t doing well, are you feeling like you are in a bit of a funk? Well, that is certainly understandable, and no one is going to fault you. Now, while one episode of this podcast isn’t a cure all by any means, after all, I have a membership program and a lot of episodes that slowly cover topics to help you, but today I want to offer an exercise to use when you feel like you are stuck in a bit of a funk. Maybe you have already worked through your feelings, or you know what you are feeling but you can’t seem to get to the other side. In that case, let’s give yourself permission to let go of the feeling for a few minutes and start there. 

00:04:54

Start by asking yourself what is my biggest pain point?  Am I mourning something?  Am I angry that people aren’t behaving the way I expect them to?  Am I upset with myself that I’ve gained some weight through all of this?  What is it for you?  On an ideally, blank piece of paper, write down your top area of focus right now.  Then write three emotions that come with that focus.  As you write down the thing that is taking your mental energy right now, I’d like you to imagine as if the emotions are going through your writing utensil, or your fingers, should you choose to do this on a keyboard, and let the emotions fall out onto the paper.  Got it?  Using your imagination, let that area of focus move to the paper, along with the three emotions you have identified.  Now, turn the paper over.

00:05:51

For five minutes, I want you to imagine what your life is like without that focus and those emotions.  Don’t worry about why you aren’t focused on it.  Don’t concern yourself with the fact that things haven’t been resolved with it.  It is five minutes.  It isn’t going anywhere and guess what, you wrote it down on the paper and will remember it when you turn it back over.  This allows you to imagine for five minutes who you are without that emotional energy.  Take five minutes to be present; to take in sounds, colors, smells, and beauty that you hadn’t seen when your focus was different.  Only for a few minutes.  Try taking really deep breaths.  I’d like you to look at that time as a transference.  Give that paper your emotions in those moments.  Actually, give me a moment, I’m going to try this out myself. 

[Music] 

00:09:52

Okay, I’m back, and interestingly enough, my five minutes had me away from this computer. The Universe timed it so that my husband and I met in the hallway for a lovely impromptu conversation.  I made my coffee and took time to smell it a bit more.  I was a bit more present as I did all of it.  My timer went off, hubby got it for me, he was upstairs, so I inadvertently gifted myself with some extra time. 

00:10:15

Now that I’m back, I don’t want to turn over the piece of paper at all, and I have more clarity on the work I was about to do on this episode.  I do mention writing our thoughts and feelings down on paper often, because the act of doing it makes us aware of the thought-deliveries that we are allowing to take up space in our mind.  Those take mental energy away from other things.  This is all fine if you are aware of it and know what your mind is focused on, consciously choosing it.  But if you don’t periodically check in on your thought-deliveries, well, if you are a regular listener, you know the drill, then your Protector is bossing you around with them.  What fun is that?  Well, for me, personally, it is no fun at all. 

00:10:57

Now back to you.  After the five minutes, you have options.  I’m not even going to tell you what to do.  I want you to see where you are led.  Trust your instincts here.  You may ignore that piece of paper, or heck, you may turn it over and have a new sense of clarity that you didn’t have five minutes ago.  Let me know how it goes for you. Email me at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com or message me over on Pinterest or Instagram.  You’ll find me on both platforms @emptynestcoach, that’s my podcast title without the “your” in the beginning.  You should know by now that my goal isn’t for you to rely on me, Coach Christine, to have the answers for your life.  I’m here to coach you to find your internal GPS that will navigate you through the journey of your life.  Oh my goodness, I can’t wait until you discover that for yourself!  When you notice your thought-deliveries, train your Protector well and have a good sense of what needs to be in your life’s toolbox, oh, my friend, I’m seriously getting chills just thinking about it. The things you’ll be able to do!

00:12:04

If you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to just cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock!  [Music]  The questions I have for you in this episode are one, how are you handling 2020?  And two, has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises for you?

00:12:31

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you ever considered creating a podcast? A podcasting tip that I submitted was included in a recent article titled “How to Create a (Successful) Podcast Channel: 20+ Expert Tips.”  The link to the full article is in my show notes.  I invite you to check it out!

[Music]

00:12:58

Anne shared the tip you are about to hear with me for the month of August way back at the beginning of the year, before COVID was known about.  She sure thinks ahead!  While colleges your child may be looking at may not have much social life this semester, seeing how they are handling it is a great thing to research. Thanks for sharing your tip with us, Anne! 

00:13:18

Anne:  Hi!  This is Anne from Parent’s Guide to the College Puzzle.  My quick tip for today is if your high school senior’s having trouble paring down the list of colleges to arrange for eight to twelve schools, consider these sometimes overlooked aspects of a college.  Check out the social life.  What is there to do, both on and off campus, when students aren’t in class?  Which colleges offer the intramural sports clubs or volunteer programs your future freshman wants to participate in?  How’s the weather?  If your teen hates snow, they’ll be happier at colleges with milder climates, and the reverse is true.  A student who likes winter sports, will want colleges in places where they can participate in these activities.

00:13:52

Confirm which majors and minors are offered.  If a college doesn’t have the major and any potential majors your student is interested in, take it off the list.  Remember to look at the available minor options, too.  Find out the male to female ratio.  Colleges tend to have more girls than boys, but some campuses are skewed much higher one way or the other.  This might make a difference to your teen.  How big is Greek life?  Sororities and fraternities dominate at some campuses and play a minor role at others.  For kids who have a preference either way, this can be important.  Who else goes there?  Your school’s Naviance account or your student’s guidance counselor can show you the popular colleges among graduates from your high school.  This is helpful if your teen wants to see a familiar face those first weeks on campus, or if they don’t.  Remember the final list of colleges should include two safety schools, two reach schools, and the remainder, target schools.  Good luck!

[Music]

00:14:42

Christine:  Do you have a Quick Tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would love to include it in an upcoming episode.  See my show notes for links to submit your own audio tip.  I am just about done here. But not before I remind you, of course, that you, my beautiful friend, are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

Still listening? 

Have you received a green popsicle stick from me yet? If not, why not? I’m happy to send you one, or three! I have instructions on how to receive your green popsicle stick from me, when you download my free printable: “How To Find Yourself in the Empty Nest” resource. 

[Music]

[End]

[Music]

[End]