30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: The Story You Have About Your Role In Your Child’s Future 💚 (27/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: The Story You Have About Your Role In Your Child's Future💚 (27/30)

In this podcast episode we talk about future stories we tell ourselves with a focus on the parent-child relationship.

💬 "...I encourage you to pay attention to the future stories you have and the stakes you have assigned to them."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:43 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 07:27 Journal Prompt

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"...I encourage you to pay attention to the future stories you have and the stakes you have assigned to them."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 194

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: The Story You Have About Your Role In Your Child's Future💚 (27/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

The story you have about your role in your child's future is our topic for today (Day 27) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:43

Amazing human and beautiful soul, if you are excited to dive into more of these concepts - to ask questions, perhaps receive coaching around them and for your specific needs, I invite you to take a look at the show notes for a link leading you to the ways you may connect and work with me as your coach - or you’ll find them all  at EmptyNestSuccess.com. 

Also, a reminder that I have created a free PDF companion workbook for this challenge that includes a list of topics, information about me, worksheets and some extra bonuses.

[level-up music] 

Onto our topic: the story about your role in your child's future. Let's take all of the concepts that we've talked about so far and put them together. High-level, this challenge has introduced and encouraged thought work - paying attention to your thought-box-deliveries; noticing and feeling your emotions; updating stories that may never come true, and learning who you are while remembering your adult child needs the space to figure out who they are. All of this while also considering transitioning into a coach role for your child.

Know that while you may have great plans for grandchildren and babysitting them or, not babysitting them or having your own life with a few yearly check-ins - and while you may have specific plans, your child a) may not be thinking that far ahead and  b) may have a different version, right now, of what they would like your future relationship to look like. 

Life is all about change. And with this, know that it is going to change for both of you as both of you grow into your next versions of who you are - or discover who you have always been under all the other duties you have been assigned in life. 

Trust that you’ll figure it out as you go. 

Embrace the coach role and remember that they have every right to the ideas, plans and feelings that they have. Your job is to create your own amazing life and you’ll figure out the relationship as you move along. 

Pressuring any other human to deliver or change to make us more comfortable is a lose lose situation - and when that someone is our child the stakes are even higher. 

[sigh] whew, yeah, I know that was a bit of an ouch, but someone listening needed to hear it. 

03:12

When you catch yourself telling future-stories about your relationship together, remember that, at best, you are guessing what the future may look like. If you were to state that future-guess as a fact and it involves another human’s life…. there’s bound to be some sort of response, to put it lightly.

In the analogy we are building on your way to becoming The Conscious Effective Olympian (C.E.O.) of your life, remember that the future is outside of your fence. It is! Someone else’s story about the future? That’s also outside of your fence. If you choose to bring it in and feel the need to manage it - that’s kind of on you. 

Let others have their stories. 

Any story that you decide to tell  (to yourself or others) about your role and your child's future, whether it's, 

  • They're not going to give me grandkids.

  • I'm going to be super involved in their life! 

  • They’ll live so far away, I'm never going to see them.

  • or whatever the thoughts you have about your role in their future…. 

For all of these, I encourage you to pay attention to the future stories you have and the stakes you have assigned to them. When you notice the stories you tell (or maybe it’s a single thought), see if it is one that feels good, and if not, update it. Sure, dream about what you would like as long as it feels good but be careful with whom you share it with and the stakes you put on it - of that future story becoming a reality. 

If you aren’t able to come up with anything for your parent-child relationship that feels better, here are some starter statements to try (they’re general): 

[upbeat music begins in background]

I'm thrilled that my child has made it to adulthood. I know in each moment in the past I did the best I could with the resources I had for me at that time, and I will continue to do so - my child will too! Over the years, we have created a relationship - one that can stay the same or change. I look for ways to show my adult child that I love and care for their uniqueness. I’m thankful when I’m included in their life. I’m learning to become a safe space for them and they - maybe, after initially doubting it - have learned to appreciate it. I’m ecstatic that I get to show up fully as myself and they get to show up fully as themself as our relationship grows in the future. 

[end music]

You certainly don’t have to say anything like this to yourself, but how would something like this feel? You can use it as a starting point, adjust it, play with it, or start from scratch. 

Absolutely, dream about all the things you’d like to see in the future but remember they are your dreams. Take stock and see what in those dreams of yours you are able to make progress toward and do so when you are inspired to take action.

As for you and your child, you can show up believing that it will be like that one day, (whatever your dream is) and in the meantime, be thankful for every moment you have with them in your life now. 

And for those of you, who maybe your child isn’t in your life - for whatever reason- give yourself hope. Work on loving them for who they are. It has the opportunity to heal and you can love them even if they aren’t in your life.

And, of course, remember that the relationship with your child is yours. It  doesn't have to look the way society has told you it should. 

Should you be interested, I speak more on topics about the future in  Day 8 of the Empty Nest Success challenge - that’s titled “ Their Future - What’s Your Story?“. You’ll also find future topics mentioned in episodes 13: Empty Nest Success: Future You Has All the Power; 17: Empty Nest Success: Green Popsicle Stick; 20: Empty Nest Success: You Found Future You! Now for the, “How?”; 71: Empty Nest Success: The Past and the Future Are Outside of Your Fence; and, finally, 138: Empty Nest Success: Shared Future Goals. Links will, as always, will be in the show notes.

07:27

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … reflect on your current ideas and expectations about your future relationship with your child. Be curious if you have any preconceived notions you might want to let go of in order to allow you to thrive while your child becomes all they are meant to be?

And here are some extra prompts: What thought-box-deliveries arrive when the idea that that story may not happen enters your mind? What is Your Protector doing the thought-box-deliveries, and what emotions show up for you?

As always, don’t forget to consider some better feeling thoughts. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, check in with your future stories - in all areas of your life - and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Sitting in the Simmer 💚 (26/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Sitting in the Simmer💚 (26/30)

In this podcast episode Coach Christine shares one of the analogies dear to her heart: sitting in the simmer.

"In the simmering moments of life, it is how you show up; how you feel about the simmering moments - that impacts one person and one person alone: You."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 04:48 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"In the simmering moments of life, it is how you show up; how you feel about the simmering moments - that impacts one person and one person alone: You."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 193

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Sitting in the Simmer💚 (26/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Sitting in the Simmer is our topic for today (Day 26) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music] 

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul….Are you simmering? I love to say that I’m sitting in the simmer. This concept is one of my early analogies. One that - I have such good emotions around: when this one clicked for me, and I was able to form it into a proper analogy on the podcast, I found people telling me that they were “simmering.” “I’m simmering Christine.” And it was the affirmation I needed at that time to know I was on the right path sharing my content. Holy cow, that was about five years ago, so this is near and dear to my heart. 

In the last episode, we quickly noted the nonlinear journey that life gives us. Sometimes, along with the Ditch Sessions (more on that in our last episode), we may also experience really long waiting periods to get to whatever the next thing is in our life. 

Some examples: maybe you’re waiting for the next chance to visit with your adult child. Maybe you're waiting for the start date of something big in your life such as a vacation, a training program or life event. Maybe you're waiting for somebody to do something that you need them to do, or waiting to discover for yourself what you want to do next in life - and whatever it is you’re feeling it’s taking too long. 

 

I like to think of these extended waiting periods as simmering. The analogy I have for you is that these are like stew simmering moments. Imagine that your life is the stew and while you have the ingredients prepped and tossed into the pot, you still need time for the stew to simmer, allowing the ingredients to work together to co-create for a wonderful meal - a delicious meal - unless you don’t like stew. But we’ll pretend you do right now. Ha! 

Imagine you’ve tossed celery, onions, potatoes, seasoning and more into the broth. You toss the last item in and you think, “Perfect, I did it and now I can eat it.” And we can imagine diving into a super crunchy piece of celery, super strong onions and a big piece of potato that is almost impossible to bite into. 

It seems silly doesn’t it? Yet we do this all the time in life with projects we have and with our life experiences. 

Another analogy used often by others is tossing a seed into the ground and not waiting for it to grow.

When we recognize that life has simmering moments in order for the life ingredients to work their magic, and for us to be ready to enjoy them, life becomes way more fun. And sitting there focused on the simmering pot is probably not the best use of your time. Sure, check in on it, but when you find fun things to do while the needed simmer happens, that is a full life.

If we return to the stew analogy, we could spend the time cleaning up the kitchen, putting our feet up, maybe treating ourselves to something, chatting with others, playing a game - focusing on finding joy in the simmer becomes a fun experience. 

In the simmering moments of life, it is how you show up; how you feel about the simmering moments - that impacts one person and one person alone: You.  You can sit there and be mad that it takes the time for the stew to simmer. Or, you can embrace the time with fun and realize that you might need the time to be ready for whatever the next thing is. 

And whether the next thing in life is one day, one hour, one year, or one decade away, finding ways to enjoy the simmer makes a huge difference. Look for joyous moments. Look for magical moments. Look for synchronicities. Look for joy. Create joy. You’re going to sit in the simmer anyway, why not enjoy it?

Next time you feel the simmer of life, try this thought, “Oh, yeah, I'm sitting in the simmer of life, what fun can I find while I wait?”

04:48

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Imagine yourself as a simmering pot. What qualities or transformations are occurring within you during this simmering period?

05:02

[level-up music]

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, have fun in the simmer of your life, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Progress Isn’t Linear – Ditch Sessions (25/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Progress Isn't Linear - Ditch Sessions💚 (25/30)

In this podcast episode Coach Christine reminds you that progress isn't linear and introduces Ditch Sessions.

"This is human life. You are going to have moments where your progress flies high and you are soaring. You’re also going to have moments where you're feeling kind of stuck and in a ditch covered in mud."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 07:48 Journal Prompt

 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets! 

You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"This is human life. You are going to have moments where your progress flies high and you are soaring. You’re also going to have moments where you're feeling kind of stuck and in a ditch covered in mud."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 192

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Progress Isn't Linear - Ditch Sessions💚 (25/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Progress isn’t Linear is our topic for today (Day 25) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, this topic is one you’ve probably heard multiple times before (from others)  but it resonates well in life and is always a great reminder: progress isn't linear. Those three words make so much sense. Do a quick Google Image search on the words: progress isn't linear  (I have it in my show notes) and your results will include some fun ways to illustrate this.

Some days you are going to feel on top of the world, you know when, you've got it all together, you can handle happenings that, and past you of five years ago would have been stopped in their tracks in awe - and you can feel that progress in your soul.

These are the moments when you are managing your thought-box-deliveries, in a, maybe, full-on household manager role (if you will). You are feeling clear, knowing Your Protector is well trained, maybe you feel you are on top of things: Your Protector is having a ball  - and overall you are loving life. 

Then, other times, you may feel derailed, or maybe your progress completely stopped. You feel as if you're almost going backwards because of something that was maybe unexpected or a thought-trigger that takes you right back to where you used to be. In our analogy, this would be a thought-box-delivery you thought you had safely stored away - and it popped up again, or it became illuminated. But, it may feel to you as if you’re stuck or in a rut. 

And since you know I love analogies, here’s one that bubbled up when I was speaking with a client: it’s that sometimes we may feel off course or as if we're going backwards. In these cases, you could imagine that you are riding a bicycle on a path. Imagine that this path is well-paved, you're enjoying life, you're feeling like you've got this, enjoying the breeze and the view… then suddenly, your bike tire pulls you off the path and into a ditch.

You find yourself laying on the ground, maybe your bike is even behind you -  you fell completely off [the] bike and in the impact of the landing, your reaction is to struggle in the ditch you are now in: imagine yourself lying down on your back, feeling pain in different spots on your body and then you decide to try and claw yourself out while continuing to lay down. 

You have thoughts like, “How did I not see where I was headed?  How did I end up here? Not again - am I always going to be in a ditch?”

You turn your body a bit, but the more you claw, and struggle the dirtier you become. Imagine a dry dirt that as you scrape the side of the ditch you are in, the dirt covers you more and more. And, yeah, you’re still lying down. Eventually, you just decide to stay there in the ditch complaining, periodically looking at the sky and wondering why you are stuck in this ditch. 

It then occurs to you that you didn’t take a moment to stand up - you take inventory (looking around) and realize this ditch isn’t deep at all, all you have to do is become vertical and take a step out of it.  

The thing is when you landed in the ditch, initially, while it wasn’t great, there was a familiarity about it that made you comfortable in some weird way. 

So, rather than immediately standing up, you went to your go-to thought-box-deliveries from prior moments.

Sometimes, the ditches of life that we fall in are well worn because they are paths we have taken time and time again. Other times, they are ditches created by others be it the media, or other humans. 

Noting that a ditch is just a ditch, sure you are in it, but that’s fine - you can learn from it, and move on. Easily stepping out of the ditch allows yourself to release the drama and quickly brush off any dirt that remains, and move on.

Stand up and brush off, is a great way to go. Or, yeah, as Taylor Swift would say, “Shake it off.” There’s no reason to beat yourself up for ending up in the ditch. Ditches will always be there. Yes, and sometimes we’ll spend time in them and sometimes we’ll glide right by. 

When you begin to navigate your ditch moments so that you spend the least amount of time possible in ditches,  your life gets interesting. 

This is human life. You are going to have moments where your progress flies high and you are soaring. You’re also going to have moments where you're feeling kind of stuck and in a ditch covered in mud. 

Try this thought: I’m stuck in a ditch and that is okay. How am I going to get out of it in a way that allows me to learn about myself, and maybe even have some fun along the way? 

Now, my listener, you may have already noticed this funny thing that occurred to me as I was reviewing the topic and script for this episode I realized I should probably clarify that I’m saying ditch that begins with a d as in dog. And then the thought of staying in the ditch creates the bitchiness in us, came to me: Stay in the ditch, create the bitch. 

And in bitch, I mean bitchy about life/complaining about life. It still makes me giggle. 

So, maybe we can call these DITCH sessions. [giggles]

ANYWAY, when we look at learning lessons about ourselves as we navigate out of our Ditch Sessions, we gain power. I do talk a bit about the leveling up in a different way in an earlier podcast episode - back in Season 1 - it’s episode 55- if you want to check it out - it’s yet another analogy for leveling up in life. As always, the link will be in the show notes.

The important thing here is that when you do catch yourself in these Ditch Sessions, be kind to yourself, because when you're in the ditch, and you say things to yourself like, “Oh man, I'm in the ditch. There's mud all over me. Why did I do this? I'm so awful. Oh, this ditch sucks. I’m stuck here forever. Will I always keep ending up here?” 

Amazing human, when we do this, we’re amplifying the power of the ditch and we keep ourselves there. If anything, we may be allowing some wounds that are just about healed or still open to become infected. 

To Recap: What if … when you notice your Ditch Sessions, you stand up, brush the dirt off and say, “Yeah, I was in that ditch. I own it. It happened. How can I maybe not get in that particular ditch again - or make my recovery when I land in that ditch again, not so bad? I wonder if there is even a way to make this fun, eventually? 

Amazing listener, you're gonna have ditch moments and days - sometimes they’ll even last even longer -  but that doesn’t mean they have to take over your life, become who you are and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’ll never again get out of the ditch. 

07:48

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Can you think of a time where you felt as if no progress was being made in your life, but then there was a sudden breakthrough at a later date?

[exit music - upbeat] 

Thanks for listening today, notice your next Ditch Session, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Gift Yourself With…💚 (24/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Gift Yourself With…💚 (24/30)

In this podcast episode, Coach Christine reminds you to gift yourself throughout your life.

"The next time you begin to think of yourself moving forward in life, imagine someone who loves themself. Imagine someone who knows who they are, someone who willingly and maybe even a little protectively holds space for themself..."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 03:58 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The next time you begin to think of yourself moving forward in life, imagine someone who loves themself. Imagine someone who knows who they are, someone who willingly and maybe even a little protectively holds space for themself..."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 191

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Gift Yourself With…💚 (24/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Gift Yourself With… is our topic for today (Day 24) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, if you have spent decades not thinking about what might be best for yourself, I have some things to share with you. 

What if… by gifting yourself with something (be it time, energy, or an activity, etc.)... what if by knowing you're worth it, that you’ll then be able to show up in a new and exciting way for others in your life? 

It is incredibly easy to have days, weeks, months, and years go by where we put ourselves on the back burner. Life has a way of doing that to us. 

If this resonates with you, today can be a new day for you - or tomorrow. Actually, every moment you have the opportunity to treat yourself better. 

Here’s [are] some things to think about: The next time you begin to think of yourself moving forward in life, imagine someone who loves themself. Imagine someone who knows who they are, someone who willingly and maybe even a little protectively holds space for themself. Someone who loves trying new things - or maybe one new thing [giggle] - someone who isn’t afraid to be curious and explore the positive what ifs in their life. 

These gifts to yourself, also, don't all have to have a financial impact, either. 

The “gift yourself with” can certainly be things like dance classes, a vacation, (big things), but they can also be things like sleeping in one day, maybe hitting the snooze alarm because you know, you really don't have to be up that early. It could be buying yourself flowers. It could be taking an extra long walk one day. 

In the “gift yourself with” life, I encourage you to come up with a fun list of things that you find yourself thinking (even if you are half-serious), “Hey, I would really love to do that - or try that. It might be fun.” 

What if you create a list like this? What if you give it a super fun title that is all your own? 

You don't have to do them all - or any of them, really. It’s just a list. Have fun with it and don’t edit it - you can do that later.

Create the list, read the list, imagine things on the list, dream about things on the list, research things on the list and then when you are ready see what small thing (or maybe big thing) you would love to do for “realsy” - and feel free then to cross off and edit away things that when you have imagined them, maybe they don’t feel as fun as you might have originally thought. 

When you do gift yourself with it (whatever it is) provide yourself the time, the energy and the space to do it without guilt - just as you do with all of the other top of the toolbox items. That's important. Consciously choosing to do the thing… whatever it is, allows you to be in a better space for the enjoyment of the activity and when that activity wraps up. 

Consciously gift yourself with guilt free list items - Have fun!

03:58

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Reflect on a time when you prioritized someone else's needs over your own, at a time when it wasn't even necessary. Did it have an impact on your well-being? Was it positive or negative?  

04:15

[level-up music] 

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, have fun creating your list and gifting yourself with list items, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)

In this podcast episode, a reminder that all of this is your work to do.

"If your choices and actions don’t impact them [others] directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic: The first meaning of "This is Your Work To Do"
  • 06:04 Adding to our analogy
  • 09:32 The second meaning of "This Is Your Work To Do" 
  • 11:30 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…


For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If your choices and actions don’t impact them [others] directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 190

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

This is Your Work To Do is our topic for today (Day 23) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, most of how I deliver content to you online goes against what is taught in online marketing courses. I have this core belief, now, that my message will reach those who need it when they are ready. Also, the more I create in an inspired fashion, the more those who need it will find me.

While over the last five years I have had some moments where, yes, I have fallen into the “traditional” way to market, I have spent the last 18 months or so deconstructing it. Following the content topics that I share with you and applying them to everything I do as well. Which means there has been a lot of letting go for me, a fair amount of breaks to reset myself and the reminder of why I originally started this all.

The beauty in believing that those who are looking for my content will find it, means I also strongly believe that if someone isn’t aligned with what I share, that’s all good - there are so many humans in this beautifully diverse world delivering similar messages in their own unique ways. 

You may be wondering, “What does this have to do with today’s topic?”

It has everything to do with it.

When I say “This is your work to do.” I have two meanings there.

The first one is to Of COURSE, trust your gut, your instincts, your inner guidance, God, the Universe- whatever label you choose to use.

Beautiful human, whether you are starting a blog, trying a new career, or hobby, planning a dinner or a vacation, there are plenty of other humans who are happy to provide assistance to you - often with a cost -  (and sometimes, whether you ask for it or not). 

This is wonderful when you know what you are looking for and find it. But, if you haven’t yet done some mental decluttering it is easy to be led by other people’s idea of what is best for you. When you know what resonates with your soul and find those who match up with it - wow - so much fun. 

The more you are able to declutter your thought-box-deliveries, train Your Protector and live the Conscious Effective Olympian life, the easier this all becomes.  

You may be wondering why I waited until episode 23 of this challenge to share this topic.  

It’s a fair point but it was done consciously. First of all, if you’ve started from day 1 and are continuing to work through this, you more than likely feel aligned with these topics, and may have even begun trying some of them. 

Imagine if I had opened with this topic. 

Most humans aren’t even close to being ready to consider that they know what is best for themselves - that feels overwhelming - and when I tell them they might have an internal guidance system they’re just like, “yeah, right.” 

Until we, as humans, begin to realize how powerful our thoughts are and that they are optional, it is practically impossible to consider that we might have our own internal guidance system. You may have noticed that I interchange the words internal guidance system, inner guidance, inner selves and your internal GPS often - please call this whatever you like and what resonates best with you. 

You might want to call it your gut or your soul. Whatever you choose to label it, you may reach a point where you feel promptings, you begin to  “get” and feel led on what you need or want to do next. You may even be shocked to find that eventually the need to share your plans and ideas with others is diminished -  After all, itt is a rare human who will show up for you (for us, in general) without their own thought-box deliveries that come into the mix.

Over time, you’ll begin to notice where you start to detour off into other people’s ideas of what you “should do” and eventually you will learn which of these deliveries belong permanently outside of your fence.

Keep in mind that others mean no harm: They have their own inner guidance which may not be available to them - or they may have some clarity on their own internal guidance but at the end of the day it is THEIR experience and THEIR guidance, not yours.

04:57

Consciously choosing to ask someone you trust or you know has more life experience than you, for their feedback so that you can then do what you will with it is a much better place than continually allowing other people’s thought-box-deliveries to clutter your space.

If your choices and actions don’t impact them directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously. 

When you have time to review interactions, ask yourself: How does what they are sharing with you make you feel? And then tune into those things.

This isn’t supposed to be stressful either. You are where you are. Personally, I’ve found most days I get a laugh or two out of it. Not all days - I’m still human, but I don’t dwell on these interactions as much when I catch myself in the reaction mode. 

I take stock, see what I’ve learned and move on - looking for something that brings me joy, fun or laughter. 

Some days I’m better at this than others. 

06:04

Let’s return to our ever-building analogy. 

Try this one: Imagine that you install an intercom system outside of your fence. When someone arrives at your fence and immediately starts talking into the intercom, rather than immediately giving them your full attention, what if you pay attention to how what they are saying is making you feel? 

Does it resonate with you? Does it apply to you? Did you ask for it? And come up with your own questions, too. 

If you find what they’re sharing isn’t beneficial to you, it’s time to train Your Protector to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” In real life, this can look like diverting a conversation topic, excusing yourself, or something else. 

This all may sound like a lot but when you understand that everything you choose to allow within your fence takes up your resources that could be spent on things that bring you joy, why WHY would you give it any more mental real estate than it deserves? 

The energy or vibration in your thoughts, in your body, and around you should be protected.

Every single time that you focus on yourself in the decision making; in the “what should I do next?” and you begin to learn to trust what does work / what doesn't work… you learn a bit more about yourself. Be curious about what your gut feeling is telling you - and continue to learn from it. 

Start with a few inconsequential topics and go from there. 

Have you popped over to a thought like, “so, Christine, are you telling me that I don’t have to listen to anyone ever?”. Maybe that’s what you are hearing but it is not what I’m saying. This is life.  There are loved ones, colleagues, and strangers who may share things that weren’t on our mind - and we choose to show up with the space to listen and support, because that feels good to do. 

Pay attention to your why in those moments. People can feel that. Are you doing this because of habit? People feel that. Are you doing this because you are supposed to, to be polite. Notice your emotions, and don’t be afraid to change the subject. 

Let’s think about your to-do list in life … and your “WORK.”

Really, truly, at the end of the day, there aren't many things in life that you HAVE to do. Look around and you’ll find someone who doesn’t do the thing you think you have to do and somehow they are still getting by - maybe it’s not in a way that looks good or appropriate to you - or fun- or exciting but that is where you get to design your life going forward - and when this is done consciously  - it becomes an adventure. 

Pay attention to the things that you wish you could do, but you feel like you can’t. Then search out and seek out people who are doing it. What’s their life look like? Have fun with this!

In wrapping up the first meaning of “this is your work to do”, is to say that discovering your own plan of work is powerful. Take a look at your to-do list. Clean it up. Make it smaller. Maybe pick up the book that you are drawn to but feels a bit intimidating because no one else you know is reading that. Try things, learn things about you and have so much fun! Look for the fun. 

09:32

The second meaning of “This is Your Work to do, “ is that this isn’t something that because it resonates with you, you need to relay it and force upon everyone else in your life. Yes, you may experience some super fun aha moments, some amazing changes in your own life, and that is incredible! 

Others may celebrate with you but they also may be confused as you holy cow, are you showing up differently. If they ask, sure, tell them but be considerate that most of us resonate with concepts when we are ready for them and when we are seeking them. This applies to everything really. Just because your inner self is ready doesn’t mean those around you will be too. You might  even annoy them. 

Additionally, if you’ve made changes that work for you, it doesn’t mean it will work for others. You don’t know what is in their fence and in their house. Sometimes, we as humans are in fire fighting mode and someone who is happy simply annoys us. I’m willing to bet there are points in your life where you’ve been there and can understand this. The best thing you can do is do these activities for yourself so that you can be brighter, clearer, and more effective in all that you do. And if someone does ask, share what feels right. But ultimately, have fun getting to know yourself better! That’s what this is all about.

A final note, I did use the word “work” in this episode and title and that is because it is one that resonates with most people. That being said, I actively try not to use the word “work” in my own daily life. Joyous investment in my evolution is my personal go to phrase but I’m gonna keep it simple for this challenge. If you want to learn more about why I’ve chosen not to use the word work in my life, listen to episode 157 in season 1 of my podcast

11:30

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Write about a time when you trusted your intuition or inner voice despite it not being aligned with others - and it led, still, to a positive outcome.

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, remember this is your work to do, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Your Future Self Has Your Back 💚 (22/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Your Future Self Has Your Back 💚 (22/30)

In this podcast episode, I share a powerful activity.

"Things I choose to believe is that your future self is really proud of you - of all that you are doing; and they’re excited for all the things that you're going to do to get them to where they are in the future."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:43 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 04:23 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Things I choose to believe is that your future self is really proud of you - of all that you are doing; and they’re excited for all the things that you're going to do to get them to where they are in the future. "

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 190

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This  (22/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Your Future Self Has Your Back is our topic for today (Day 22) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:43

Amazing human and beautiful soul, we are piggybacking off our last episode. We've covered a lot of topics already in this challenge, and sometimes we just need to be reminded that we’ve done well. 

When you look back in your life, and consider the moments when your child was super young and you had a decision to make that in the moment felt as if nothing else mattered, and now with decade or so  of experience you know it may not have been quite the big deal you were making it out to be back then.  

Some examples might be for you … 

What preschool you send them too - or IF they attended preschool at all; breastfeeding or not breastfeeding; how about diaper brand you chose to use? And, as they got older it may have transitioned into what activities you encouraged, what opportunities they had, and so on. 

Our younger selves really managed to navigate it all. And while looking back, you might do things differently, today, past you did great with the knowledge, resources, finances and opportunities that they had then. 

But, consider if you could go back in time and lovingly tell yourself a few things, what would those things be? 

 Would it be…. 

Chill out more. Look for more fun and lean into the moments where your child is asking for your attention? 

Would it be…

Life is short, you are here and you got me where I am today. I’m so thankful for your dedication and I’m cheering you on. 

Would it be… 

Yeah, that thing sucked but those people weren’t your people anyway.

Would it be…

Wow, you were handed a ton of chaos, and yeah, you still have it now. I see you, you’ve learned a lot already and we’ll continue to learn more as we go. 

Would it be… 

Trust your gut more. You were right about more than a few things. 

Whatever you would say to your past self… make sure it is kind, loving, uplifting and encouraging. A fun thing to do is write down the things you think of. And here’s why… because here we are today, in this moment with new stressors of sorts, things that we feel are super important, that have our thoughts hostage, while there will one day be a version of us that is 10, 20, 30, 40 plus years in the future that will look back today - at us lovingly - and would want to tell us something. There’s a good chance that the primary message wouldn’t be too different from what you’d want to say to your past self. 

Things I choose to believe is that your future self is really proud of you - of all that you are doing; and they’re excited for all the things that you're going to do to get them to where they are in the future. Think about it, they wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you making the choices you make. Whew - it’s a bit of a mind-blowing when you think about it, isn’t it? That thought might come natural for you, or it might be a bit mind-blowing.

I love knowing that there is a future version of me cheering me on. She knows everything I’m experiencing in her soul, as she’s been me,  and knows all the energy it has taken me to do all the things. Thinking about your future self can be a fun thing to add to your life.

You don’t need to tell anyone, either. This can be your secret cheering section in your life. Enjoy this one!

04:23

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is …What advice would you give to your younger self? Write it down and how does it feel to say to yourself  now?

 04:36

[level-up music]

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, your future self is cheering you on and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This 💚 (21/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This 💚 (21/30)

In this podcast episode, a reminder of how incredible you are.

"You are freaking amazing and please embrace who you are fully as you take on the rest of your life. The world needs you to be you; no one else can do it better."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:44 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 03:36 Journal Prompt 

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"You are freaking amazing and please embrace who you are fully as you take on the rest of your life. The world needs you to be you; no one else can do it better."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 189

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This  (21/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Know your badass self has got this is our topic for today (Day 21) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

0:44

Amazing human and beautiful soul…. I know that while these episodes have been short, they have had a lot of heavy content within them. Content that if you're already consciously living your life, you're probably thinking something along the lines of “Yes, I get it. Thanks for the reminder, Christine!” However, if this is something, or some of these things are things you've never considered before it may take some time to let them sink in and for you to feel comfortable considering them and to understand what you, yourself want to do with them, if anything. 

You are worthy. You are amazing. 

You, amazing human, have navigated life on the spinning rock for decades. You have raised a child - or children. Your child or children may have left, be considering leaving the nest, or may be heading back to the nest.

The one thing, looking back over your life, that you'll probably be able to say is: a lot of things have happened that you never would have expected, that you couldn't have possibly planned for either.

This being said, you have made it here, today - to this moment! You have learned lessons, gained things, lost things, you have lived incredible moments in your life, that have helped to create you who you are right here in this moment.

The reason why I know that your badass self can handle what's in your future (or your now) is because look how much you’ve done to get to where you are today. And, let’s be honest, most of the time, we are making this up as we go, aren't we? 

You are freaking amazing and please embrace who you are fully as you take on the rest of your life. The world needs you to be you; no one else can do it better. 

As always, I’m cheering you on, and so is your future self. More on that, though, in our next episode. 

02:57

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Make a list of challenges you have faced over time and that you have overcome. Reflect on how they made you stronger and more resilient.

And an extra activity: Look in the mirror and say, "I am a badass!"

[exit music - upbeat]

Hey, badass, thanks for listening today, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing!  

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Questions to Ask Around Emotions 💚 (20/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Questions to Ask Around Emotions 💚 (20/30)

In this podcast episode, I share another exercise you can use on your way to becoming the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life.

"Trust that over time, the more that you do this, the easier it will become, the more fun it will become, the sillier life becomes, and we’re not looking for perfection."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 08:01 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!


Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Trust that over time, the more that you do this, the easier it will become, the more fun it will become, the sillier life becomes, and we’re not looking for perfection."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 188

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Questions to Ask Around Emotions  (20/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Questions to ask when your emotions sound an alert  is our topic for today (Day 20) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, we have another top of the toolbox item today:  are you ready to unlock your inner Sherlock Holmes to inspect some of those thought-box-deliveries? 

If you began with [the] getting started episode and have worked your way through, by now, you know the analogy - your mind being like a house, there’s a fence, a protector who you are beginning to train and you have thought-box-deliveries being sent inside your home all the time.

Imagine now that you’ve done the process mentioned in our last episode - you are feeling a bit better from some tough emotions and are ready to take a look at a couple of the  thought-box-deliveries that hit you earlier. 

Let’s work through a hypothetical example: maybe, your child is in college and they declare (one day) that they want to leave.You may initially jump right into reaction mode - your Protector puts you on high alert and you begin to react. Then, you consciously notice what’s going on inside your mind and that you haven’t really considered that this may not be the best time to react suddenly and make ultimatums. Ultimately, maybe you land where your reaction mode takes you, but, trust me, you’ll feel better if you consciously make that decision from a loving space rather than a defensive reactive space.  

When you are in a space where you are ready to consider what this really means, and how to proceed, you’ll discover that outside of your fence is your child’s consideration of leaving college. Yes, it’s outside of your fence. 

The action of them telling you this news, creates alerts from your Protector and many thoughts come barreling in. Usually, it’s something like, “You have to graduate from college;” “But this wasn’t the plan;”  And we may not admit it but one of the internal thoughts is “How is this going to look to everybody?” And that’s outside of our fence, too. 

02:43

So, now for the activity. 

Begin to ask the 5 W questions that we learned in (was it) middle school? Elementary school?: Who, What, Where, When & Why.

Let’s inspect our example with some possibilities on how this would play out. 

First, we’ll start with what: What is the thought you are having? While you may have multiple thoughts that are going on about this happening, note which thought keeps rising to the top in your mind. 

Great! You have a thought!  

Next, ask yourself who sent me this thought box delivery? Sounds easy right but it might be surprising. You may discover that this thought really wouldn’t have come from you, as you’ve been struggling over the finances of their college education and wondering if it’s the best fit for them anyway BUT you remember that you thought about leaving college and when you told your parents, guess what they said. Yeah, what you just said.

Again, no judgment. We are just playing detective here.

Next, we ask…”Where am I when I have this thought?”

And this can go two ways. The thought - it could take you to right when you were in college, or you may be playing out a future that hasn’t happened yet.

In this example, we are brought back to our own college days. And that’s not today. In other examples, you may find yourself thinking about a future that may never happen.

And that led right into the When, as well. 

Where, and When sometimes when you look through these thoughts, may be combined. You may have a clear When, you may not have a Where - our mind’s like to jumble things. This is not an exercise where you need to hit all of them, but choose one or two that work really well and that give you enough information for you to become present and think about the thought that you have. 

And finally, Why. This one can be fun. Go wherever you feel led, as the why can go a million different ways. For example  why did I get this thought-box-delivery? Why am I feeling a certain emotion when it comes in? Why is this the first thought I am having? Why am I not considering the positives of this? 

These questions and how you choose to show up as the detective or inspector of your thought-box-deliveries is for you to decide. Have fun with it - even when it is around a thought that might not be easy. 

The whole point of asking these questions is to give you an opportunity to consider if you want to keep the thought or not. Wouldn’t it be fun to be so clear on what is outside of your fence that when your child drops something on you like, “Mom, I think I'm gonna leave college.” 

That you were to feel the emotions. Maybe start to react but notice them and then quickly identify that most of this is outside of your fence which allows you to show up way more loving than you could have if you were navigating through those tough thought-box-deliveries.

Maybe you even come up and say somethin like: “Wow, that's a huge decision. What is telling you that this may be the right decision for you?” 

And then with those thought-box-deliveries on pause, you have the space to listen. 

If you don’t usually respond that way, you may shock your child, but if you begin to show up more often like this by keeping  the things outside of your fence, outside of your fence and then inspecting the deliveries that are sent inside, your inner Sherlock Holmes will serve you well. 

And this isn’t a once and done thing. I’m human. I have moments where all of the thought-box-deliveries come in and I react, and that’s okay. We are humans. It happens. The beautiful thing is you can begin to tune into the fact that you’re not feeling so good and then start to do some of the exercises - we aren’t looking for perfection. We’re looking at feeling a little bit better.

What is happening is you are creating a safe space within your own mind, and that allows you to have the time to process the thoughts that are coming in without going automatically into reaction mode. All of this allows you to show up better not only for yourself but for every single person that you meet - including those closest to you. How cool is that? 

07:23

[level-up music]

Please remember that this isn’t something that we turn a switch on and we suddenly we’ll never go into reaction mode. Sometimes we need the reaction mode, especially in emergencies.

Some days, our Protector is on high-alert and we just have to go, “Okay, that’s where I am right now.”

Trust that over time, the more that you do this, the easier it will become, the more fun it will become, the sillier life becomes, and we’re not looking for perfection. We’re looking for a little more space, and a little more space, and a little more space.  

08:01

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Do you have an emotion that you typically try to avoid feeling? How can you use questions to better understand it?

08:14

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, see if you can ask yourself a few of those questions and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Things That Bring You Complete Joy Exercise 💚 (19/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Things That Bring You Complete Joy Exercise 💚 (19/30)

In this podcast episode, I share a fun exercise that has been one of my favorites over the last year - I use it almost daily!

"Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 05:52 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 187

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Complete Joy Exercise  (19/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Things that bring you complete joy is our topic for today (Day 19) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:41

Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy. This activity is also a great one to use in conjunction with our last episode’s topic.  

As a reminder, that was about being honest about your emotions with your child. If you find yourself having a strong feeling, yet need to distract yourself a bit to hold space until you can fully process something, this will give you the space to think about happier things.  

For this tool, I went with the number four (4) and that’s because you can make this activity tactile as well. For that part, whichever hand you want, tap your index finger and then each other finger to your thumb and go around in circles, tapping each finger: one, two, three, four.

You could even mix it up and go backwards. That is part one (the tactile portion) of this activity. 

Now for the thought part: I invite you to find four things: you’ll be creating a mental list of them. They could be specific moments in time from your past; imagine an item in your house that when you look at it every time just oh, makes you feel so good; or it could be an animal, a vacation moment, or maybe your kids. 

I want to provide a warning with that last one, though. Typically, choosing to make one of your children the joy point isn’t always the best idea with parenting, and let me explain: there are days when thinking of them doesn’t bring us complete joy - it may bring you worries, or concern. 

Rather than choosing to put your child, JimBob, on your list, I encourage you to find a specific moment that you have had with JimBob that every time you think about it, it makes your heart sing, laugh, or smile. And that moment, whether they were 19 months old, or 19 years old, choose it, find that specific moment. 

Here’s a personal example: one of mine is my daughter playing at the zoo with otters and a stuffed animal. She was running back and forth and the otters kept following her - the giggles that she had in that moment - (luckily we have it on video) so much fun! Thinking of that moment makes my heart sing. 

Another one of mine was being on the beach with my feet in the sand and a margarita by my side - it felt so amazing in that moment.

Those types of moments or thoughts, that’s what you’re looking for. They’re going to be uniquely yours - find four of them.

03:36

With your list of four, combine them with the tactile part of this activity, mentally working through your list as you tap a new finger to your thumb moving on to the next one and noting that there is no need to rush. 

As mentioned earlier, this is perfect when you find yourself with a strong emotion, but don’t have the time to process it out. Running through your joyous list will help you to feel a little bit  - or maybe a lot better.  

This could become your goto tool for the next month, or maybe forever. You can head to it when, in our analogy, you realize everything's on high alert, your Protector is sending things in deliveries with alarms going off and you can't get to a point to evaluate anything to see if the thought is even worth keeping. 

In those moments, if you can think of this tool (or maybe another one that works for you) in your life's top-of-your-toolbox that you can go to, allowing yourself to reset, providing you with the space to then process, over time you will have more moments where you begin to feel better! 

And then when you have more space in your life, if you find that you have thought-box-deliveries that keep coming in and making you go to that tool, with that new space… THEN, take a look at that thought-box-delivery with some fresh eyes. Are you seeing it differently?

I absolutely love this activity. It’s super easy. It got me through a time when past me would have been wondering. “Why the heck are you reacting so calmly right now?” 

There’s so much power in this one when you figure out how to fit it into your life. It’s unbelievably fun; people may be wondering why you’re smiling; and one of my four things being my feet in the sand, that was about two hours of time in my life when that happened, but I loved it so much!

And it dawned on me that I just returned from a trip where I was able to put my feet in the sand for FIVE DAYS - a lot longer than two hours! I don’t know, maybe there’s some secret power in this…have fun, either way!

05:52

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … What four items that bring you complete joy - complete joy, can I say it one more time? Complete joy -  would you add to your mental list?

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, have fun finding those four things, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Be Honest With Your Child(ren) 💚 (18/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Be Honest With Your Children💚 (18/30)

In this podcast episode, I encourage you to be an example for your child(ren) in sharing emotions you are experiencing with them.

"Let’s walk through an example. What if your emerging adult is about to head off on a solo trip across the country to meet friends and have a great time - but you catch yourself in a twinge  - to say the least - about all the things that could go wrong."

This Episode is Brought to You By

 Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:43 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 08:21 Journal Prompt

 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Let’s walk through an example. What if your emerging adult is about to head off on a solo trip across the country to meet friends and have a great time - but you catch yourself in a twinge  - to say the least - about all the things that could go wrong."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 186

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Be Honest With Your Children (18/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Be honest with your child(ren) is our topic for today (Day 18) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success.   

[upbeat music under intro]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:43

Amazing human and beautiful soul, be honest with your children. Oh my gosh, I don't mean pull up all of your deep dark secrets from your childhood and share them with your kids. Although, if you want to go there, you might get some laughs and some memories. 

[birds chirp] Apparently we have a guest today [chirps], Yes, the birds have stopped by and they’re just going to be part of the recording today.

Back to your deep dark secrets, that was not where I was headed with this. Where I am focused is on the societal pressure to - for lack of better wording- hold all of our shit together emotionally - so that everyone around you feels as comfortable as possible.

When your children are going through a rough time and need a safe space, this isn’t the timing I suggest diving into this one, for sure.

But if they have never seen you emote in any way, if they have never seen you process through emotions, label your emotions - maybe you’ve never given yourself permission to do so - for those little heavier emotions in particular such as anger and sadness and other ones and to get to the other side of them. 

What if the next time that you begin to feel strong-er emotions (and they’re not struggling), what if you consider being honest with them on what you are experiencing? 

02:05

If we’ve been strong and successful at hiding and not processing through  our emotions, it is likely that our children may not be comfortable expressing their own either, or when they do, it may come out super strong because they’ve been bottling them up. 

If this is a new-er consideration for you, I invite you to the next time that you have a strong emotion and you catch yourself thinking,” Ooo,  I need to hold this back,” consider in that moment bringing it into the physical space through your words. Label it. Be curious about the emotions and share it verbally - what you are experiencing. 

Sometimes simply labeling that emotion releases some of its hold on you.  And, try to expand your emotional vocabulary - everything doesn’t have to be the top three: happy, sad and angry. 

02:59

Let’s walk through an example. What if your emerging adult is about to head off on a solo trip across the country to meet friends and have a great time - but you catch yourself in a twinge  - to say the least - about all the things that could go wrong. Maybe those twinges that are making you feel concerned or worried or nervous,  (maybe even envious) or you're going to miss them and what about this thing? Did you think of that? Basically you go to all the what ifs that can go wrong - and those aren’t fun. 

Let’s say you catch that emotion and consider being honest with your child. 

Maybe that looks like telling them something like, 

[upbeat music under thoughts]

“Wow, I’m really excited for this adventure for you, but I have to be honest, there are a lot of emotions coming up for me that I need to work through on my own. There are a lot of thoughts going on through my mind. I need to process through them, look at them, let go of some of them, and take a deeper look at some. I figure, I’ll be honest with you that I have these feelings. It's not, however, your place to solve this for me. These are mine to work though. If you want to talk about them, great, but it's really my work to do.  Oh, and by the way, if you catch me reacting emotionally, I’m okay with you asking me to see if that emotion is one I know I am having in the moment. Sometimes, I just automatically react and don’t think about it. But that doesn’t make it necessary.”

[end music]

04:28

Okay, so that’s an example of someone who is really wanting to do the work. Start small.  Maybe, for six months, you’re just noticing the emotions and never mentioning it to them, but one day, it might be nice to share. And not share as if [they’re] your therapist but simply say, “I’m excited for you. I’m a little sad but I’ll be okay.” That’s all you have to do. 

While it may sound like a lot, can you imagine being this vulnerable with your child? Think about the example you’re setting as well: telling them it is okay to be sad or angry. 

We've talked in prior episodes about the thought-box-deliveries that come into your mind. Which means, in our analogy, you know that the happenings causing this are outside of your fence. In this example:  your child heading out on this trip. 

What has your protector done? Well they’ve chosen to put it on high alert, shove some thought-box-deliveries into your house and put a spotlight on them. The alarms are going off, you feel the rumblings of emotions inside the box, but you're not opening them. Which means, you have energy build up within that box and you may be reacting in a not so great way because of all of the rumblings, and you’re allowing them to keep rumbling and not opening the box to check on it. Make sense? 

05:47

So what’s the option? 

You could think: “They're going on this adventure. I’m gonna hold the space for them to share about their adventure. I don’t want to be the one to get in the way. They have the funds, they know what they are doing. They are going to have a great time.”

However, I’m going to pay attention to these thoughts that come into my mind.  It might be time in our analogy and imagery - to imagine that we have a meeting with our protector and say “when we see anything come in - thoughts that come in - about this trip, that we’re automatically not going to put any of them on red alert. Our focus is to purely have happy thoughts for our child. We can take a look at these thoughts later - they’re going to be around.  

It’s really good later, then, to think about the thoughts that keep coming up time and time again. Considering where they’re coming from,  who is sending them? Are they being sent from maybe, your parents when you were a child you heard what you are hearing in your mind now. 

Take a look at those thoughts. Open them up. See what emotions come out. And think, “are these worth having?” 

06:53

Now, when you come from a loving space,  and you pay attention to your thoughts, you might actually find some of these are definitely worth vocalizing - you know things like, “Hey, have you thought about …. How about… do you have a plan if this thing happens? Can I help you in any way?” 

Here’s a good go to: “You know me, I like to dive in and plan things for everyone, but how about I back off and you let me know if there is something you can use my assistance with?”

Now back to your strong emotions: allow a conversation to come out of them, when you have them, and it works. Help your kids to see that as a human, it's okay to have emotions - even angry ones. It’s what you do with that that matters. 

So, maybe be angry - not at your kid but give it a name and figure out how to process through it. Maybe get the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, put on your sad movie and cry. Let your kids know you’ll feel better after doing that. And bonus - your sinuses are clear!

Ultimately, if you start leaning into your own emotions, and show up differently, you get to set a new example - it’s never too late. Your child - of any age - might first be thrown by the change, but your relationship that you have going forward with your child is one that now has the opportunity to become deeper, stronger, and in some ways, way more fun. 

08:21

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Describe a time when you shared your emotions with your child. How did it go? What would you change about it, if you could do it over again? And if the answer is you’ve never shared your emotions - can you think of a time when it might have been a not-so-bad idea to have done that?

08:43

[level-up music]

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, pay attention to your emotions, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end] 


Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between.