151: College Students Missing Home and It is Time to Shine 💚

Empty Nest Coach Christine is seated with podcast cover art announcing episode 151

151: College Students Missing Home & It Is Time to Shine 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. Thanks for stopping by!

This month's episode includes updates on my life - whoa it has been interesting, a new analogy, and much more - all the details and locations in the episode are below. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Always take deep breaths - for your own sake. Process through your emotions of their (your child's) homesickness. What are you making it mean?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Listen to @emptynestcoach 's podcast episode: College students Missing Home and It is Time to Shine 💚  #collegeparents #emptynestsuccess #newepisode ▶

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:05 Quick Reminders
  • 02:14 My Wish for You Today
  • 02:44 New Things (personal)
  • 09:55 New Things (Your Empty Nest Coach)
  • 11:53 My Lessons Learned - It is Time to Shine
  • 16:12 Ask Coach Christine: My Emerging Adult is Missing Home
  • 18:41 Christine, Where are You? 
  • 19:37 Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 22:05 What's in Your C.E.O. of Your Life Toolbox?
  • 23:24 Find the Funny 
  • 24:03 What I Wish My Parents Knew
  • 24:31 Two Questions for You
  • 25:53 Bloopers
  • 26:02 Still Listening?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

Questions for You:

  1. Is anyone in your life missing home?
  2. How bright are you shining your light into the world? 

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Episode Resources

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 151

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #151. I’m here to help mothers who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead as I guide them to feeling freaking awesome. I’m all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[up beat music]

00:00:37

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of may alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:05

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. If you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow it in your favorite podcast player. That way you’ll be notified when my next episode is released. A special thanks to our fabulous sponsor - SupaPass, who now powers our GPS Support Flock Community - more on that, later in this episode!

00:01:31

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Some other big topics you’ll find in this episode is a quick run down of the big changes that I have experienced in my life in the last three months - and, oh my goodness, it has not been a calm ride, that is for sure! [giggle] But, if you remember, one of my things to focus on this year has been to enjoy the journey - and I’m happy to report that despite a few needed emotional bumps, the journey IS being enjoyed. Of course, I also have a new analogy for you today and this one has to do with vehicle headlights; yay - we have some wins to celebrate; we’ll talk about what is in our C.E.O. toolbox, finding the funny and more! 

If you wanna jump around in the episode, look for the time markers in the show notes.

00:02:14

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today 

My wish for you today is that you may be present: where you are right now and through most moments of your day. Presence has the power to remove drama from your life and can you imagine your life with less drama and more time? I can tell you - it is freeing. I wish that you gain a bit more presence than yesterday and continue to work on it throughout the month ahead, my amazing empty nest friend!

00:02:44

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

Well, I had a summer hiatus: this was the first ever (for me) in my podcasting career. I was nervous to take the podcasting break but I knew it was needed, and with all of the things that happened, I’m glad I did!

What happened? Where do I even start? Goodness gracious. Well, back when I recorded my last episode, in May, my husband and I had just moved, I was about to turn 50 and our daughter was about to graduate from college. 

The move was successful.

I did turn 50. 

Our daughter graduated from college and that was a BIG deal.

 A side note: when my husband and I supported her attending college early - I can’t say we had a ton of support from the outside world during her consideration and then first couple of years of attendance at the college. I remember when she started, it did feel like those four years of out of state college were going to be a lifetime. 

Well, they weren’t a lifetime after all - and the pandemic even added some extra “fun”  in there, didn’t it? 

00:03:49

Our daughter returned home in May, and she wasn’t sure what the next year was going to look like since the funds just weren’t available for her to attend the grad schools that she was accepted into. And this meant for a rough adjustment for her being back home with no plans for the future. And we all know how the pandemic helps with this, right? It was a fairly rough start to her summer - especially with my next piece of news that I’m going to share but - no worries - as of now she is thriving and that makes my heart incredibly happy. What else can you ask for as a parent?

This takes us to about June. Well, June happens: I turned 50 and 15 days later, my husband asks for a divorce. 

Look, I’ll be honest, my mind had floated the idea of a divorce in our future, so it wasn’t a complete shock but the timing really caught me off guard - our daughter was about to turn 18 a few weeks later, I barely felt settled from the move, her return home, my new commute and so much more. I will be sharing more about what the divorce and what its meant in my life, how I’m doing with it and how it came about - in an upcoming episode, however, I’m doing my best to live in the present moment each day which means, I don’t exactly want to spend too much time thinking about it today.

I’ve been working really hard on following the things that I share in this podcast: watching my thoughts, keeping my thoughts, making sure that the thoughts I choose and the memories that I live in are ones that will move me forward in a positive way.

00:05:18

All that being said,  please know that I’m doing incredibly well and my daughter is thriving too. All this Conscious Effective Olympian (or C.E.O.) of Your Life stuff that I talk about really works. More than once I’ve created an episode and then the universe decides to say, “Oh yeah, Christine, let’s see how you do with this….” [giggle]

The good news is that the thought-work has been a life-saver for me over the last few years, and this was just one more place to use it all again. 

Now at home, my daughter and I are having a blast living together right now - we are a bit more like roommates due to her life stage which makes it super fun, and since I am well aware that I’ll be re-entering the empty nest sometime in the future, I’m fiercely enjoying her time here. 

With all of these things I just mentioned from my summer, I figured why not throw one more big change - or ingredient into my stew - let’s simmer it out after all. Yes, that’s a reference to a prior episode - see my show notes.

00:06:18

I feel your energy: “Christine, what happened next?” 

I did it. I resigned from my job at the college. Why? Because I was looking at heading back into the office five days a week and I no longer had an eleven minute walk to work - I had a 40-minute commute each way - and that was time taken from things I enjoy in life - like podcasting - and well - basically everything I enjoy in life. Also, due to my daughter’s unique education, she doesn’t have her own car and she’s still working on being a confident driver - it made no sense to have her stranded at home at this time.

I ran budget numbers over and over, and over, and over again. I finally bought this piece of software that I’ve wanted for years and it helped me [sings] so much. I’ll talk about that in another episode. 

But, ultimately, I knew I would regret not being here for my daughter at this time, and I’d get my time back to work on my passion projects. 

The one thing that was clear to me is that if I didn’t change my job, me (Coach Christine) would continue to have no time for bottom of the toolbox items and barely any time for even the top-of my life’s toolbox items. That’s not healthy. So, yes, I resigned. 

It was bold and a bit crazy but it has made the other transitions my life is experiencing flow smoother than they would have had I stayed in that position. I now work VERY part-time at our local Lidl store - because it has me not at a computer, super active and at the end of my shift I get to do my grocery shopping. Oh, and part-time employees at Lidl get medical benefits. In case  mm - you might find yourself in a similar situation and need to think about that. I had to think about it with the pending divorce and leaving my job. Yes, I am totally covering all my bases here. It’s also a little fun being at a job that is totally different from the work that I normally do and that is extremely active. 

00:08:15

I use the Pacer app to track how far I walk, and a low activity shift, at Lidle, my pacer app tells me I manage the equivalent of almost 4 miles - a high activity shift is a heck of a lot more! It’s a job that also allows me to work on my presence - which is an added bonus. 

Can you believe it? This takes me  -mm - to about July of this summer, which, that month did include celebrating my daughter’s 18th birthday - and she chose to get a tattoo! She designed it herself and included my handwriting on it. She felt so good about signing her own waiver - it is an odd thing to be on a college campus but need your parent’s permission to go on a trip. 

It makes my heart happy how excited she was about this - and since then she’s been totally on top of her own medical appointments which is incredibly rewarding as a parent. 

So, this brings me to August and you would think that that would be enough for one summer. But no, we aren’t done. The universe helped me out a bit on this one and I was offered an amazing job opportunity but it’s so new, I’ll share more about that in my next episode - it, honestly, feels too good to be true at the moment. 

I had a realization recently that a little over three years ago, I wrote down some things I wanted for future Christine and many of those have become a reality - I’ll share about those in the next episode as well so this one isn’t three hours long.

I’m sure there are many other things to share but with all of these big ones, I’ll just stop there. While I have managed to stay true to enjoying the journey most days (as I mentioned earlier), and I have felt peaceful the majority of the time, I do hope your last three months have been at least a tad calmer than mine! 

00:09:55

Now for some new things specific to my Your Empty Nest Coach world:

The GPS Support Flock Community membership is back! Due to the summer I had, it was assembled a few months later than I had originally planned but I’m okay with that. The GPS Support Flock Community is powered by SupaPass and it is where you’ll find all of my resources going forward. I’m incredibly excited to offer it to you. While there are free resources available to those who register, if you choose to join our flock, you’ll have access to twice monthly group support coaching calls, all past and future workshops, weekly motivational messages, worksheets, activities and support for podcast episodes and more. All of this for only $27/month! 

I’ve already uploaded some workshop topics including: My Life Isn’t What I Expected, What is Love, Why Resolutions Don’t Work & College Breaks

And one of last week’s motivational messages was titled: Where are you living? Are you ready for the surge in your life? 

I’m incredibly proud of the offerings, and I’m excited for it to grow into the community that you need. 

Should you be in a place where you don’t need the community support but you would like to support the podcast. There’s a place for you to buy me a cup of coffee - or two or three - to help make that happen! Coffee is a big energy boost for me! 

Learn about all of the offerings I just mentioned - and more - by visiting my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com and clicking on the Community link

Of course, that link will be in my show notes. Our next GPS Support Flock Community office hours or group coaching session is Wednesday, September 8th at 7:30 PM EST - I’d love to see you there!

As for this podcast, I’ll be releasing episodes monthly September through June. With more time between episodes, I’ll be focused on serving the GPS Support Flock Community in a way that dives deeper into the podcast episode content and more. 

00:11:53

computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

I have a 2007 Honda Odyssey. I do love my van, our family has moved quite often - for a variety of reasons and my daughter has even said to me that she feels more home in the van than our actual houses/apartments because it has been more constant in her life than any of our homes. It has been so good to our family. 

Over the years, though, the headlights on my car had become super cloudy.

Honestly, I’m not sure how any light was coming through them at all- and I couldn’t get them clean via a carwash or some of my own muscle and cleaning supplies. I decided to have them restored. Honestly, I think it was the best $100 I have spent in a long time. It was wild to see the change!  My car looks ten years younger - I guess I gave it a facelift - [giggle] - and when I drive at night, it’s amazing to be able to really see things. 

Now, the cloudiness of the headlights didn’t happen overnight. I would have noticed that. It took time, it took weather, hours, days, months of driving for the headlights to begin to cloud over and eventually block light from escaping. 

As mothers, we sometimes spend so much time thinking of our partners, our children, and others that our own light slowly begins to cloud over - the light being what I like to call our own internal GPS: who we are outside of our roles, outside of what we do for a living - or don’t do, outside of our actions we have taken that we identify with - actions that embarrass us and other actions that we are proud of. 

00:13:28

When our light covers over - even when it happens unintentionally due to life - it makes it almost impossible for us to see where to head in life - what direction to go. It also, whether we know it or not, becomes impossible for others to see who we are and that’s because we cover ourselves up so much that we barely know who we are. This is how things get fuzzy in life and  - we become identified with that clouded over version of ourselves - that light - and we begin to fiercely protect it because even though it is harder to see where we should be headed - we’ve adjusted to it and we’ve gotten used to it. 

Then, one day, we might decide to do some cleaning, some work on ourselves. We might even begin being kind to ourselves - in the thoughts we think about ourselves, in the actions that we take to better ourselves and we begin to shine brighter. I imagine this as a dimmer switch where we slowly head toward illumination mode - I talk about this in prior episodes. This all takes tremendous work: to do the thought-clearing, to become your own biggest fan and to trust your internal GPS - after all, that light has been hiding for so long. 

The wild part is that when things begin to clear - when restoration occurs - there are suddenly beams of light shining in our life that weren’t there earlier. And while these beams of light do help us to see better, they also have the potential to be more than your eyes can handle right away. It may even feel like you might have been better with the cloudy cover. 

00:15:00

Time is needed to adjust to the growth, and discomfort as your light begins to shine again. Remember that your bright light - finding your true self - also could shine brightly for others who just aren’t ready for it yet. They might need to put some sunglasses on. And I’m not saying you need to hide your light - no, not at all - I would never tell you that, but I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t warn you that some in your life may need time to soak it all in. They may love your light but the initial shock of it might make them flinch. As you begin to grow - to show your light - to become the Conscious Effective Olympian of Your Life, trust that the true you - your internal GPS is what the world needs. 

What you may notice is some are drawn to your light and others may find it startling because suddenly, you’re not fitting into the narrative that they’ve created about you, but ultimately (and this is really important) shining your light is what is going to illuminate your journey for your life ahead. Your journey. So I ask you, how cloudy is the cover on your internal GPS?  

[00:16:12]

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

My emerging adult is at College and is homesick. What should I do? 

Great question and I have a special shout out to my TikTok friend Mariadoor who suggested this topic for hotline video content - she also was kind enough to support the podcast through my new community. I just mentioned by buying me a cup of coffee - well, she did that! Thank you so much Mariadoor. I appreciate you - and so do my listeners!

Back to homesickness - I’ll call it missing home - as it isn’t really a sickness - it’s normal. While not ALL emerging adults experience it, for those who do, it could happen right away or it may kick in after a couple months of living on their own. It could be something like a meal, a holiday or a situation that brings on the emotions of missing home. 

What can you do?

As much as possible, be available when they need to chat, and do your best to listen as you hold space for them. Hold yourself back from solving it for them. 

Listen. 

I’ve mentioned this before but I like to imagine that we transition into a bit more of a coach role than a parent role as our emerging adults “emerge.” It reminds us as parents that we aren’t here to solve everything anymore but to be a resource and guide. I know (trust me) that it can be easier said than done, after all, it is really easy to jump into problem solving mode because while they may be 18, 28 or even older, they are always our baby. 

 

Is it a good idea to run to campus and bring them home for the weekend? While it is always an option you can choose, I would hesitate to do that in the first month or so - unless there is an emergency - as doing that removes the opportunity for them to process through their emotions It also removes them from other students who are experiencing the same thing - which can be quite bonding to be stuck on campus together. 

It’s a great time to create a care package.

Always take deep breaths - for your own sake. Process through your emotions of their homesickness. What are you making it mean? Use all of the tools I talk about on this podcast - they’ll help. Your emerging adult’s emotions of them missing home may last a few hours or a few days - just like us processing through our empty nesting emotions - there is no set timeline.

Oh, and I did create the hotline video for this. If you want to see it, link will be in my show notes. 

 

00:18:41

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? 

The best place to find me is in the GPS Support Flock Community, of course. 

And believe it or not, I’m gearing up to speak at an in-person conference in October! She Podcasts Live ‘21 - I’ll be speaking about TikTok - what I like about it, how podcasters can use it even when they don’t have a huge audience, and more! My flight is booked, hotel is reserved, my dear podcasting friends will be meeting me there, and my daughter will be joining me! She does have her own plans for some of our time but what better place to spend time with your daughter than a place that has the goal to help women to share their voices with the world? It’s incredibly exciting! Should you want to know more about the conference, I’ll have a link in the bio - or feel free to reach out and ask away. I’d love to see you there!

00:19:37

[computer game level up music (short)]  

 

Celebrating You and Your Wins [sound] 

My win? I’m going with my ability to stay present is increasing exponentially daily and it feels great. I’m also celebrating that the GPS Support Flock Community is finally back to flying!

As for your wins, I’m happy to share recent wins from followers on TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

First, from instagram NextchapterEmptyNest shares, I’ve been trying to decide what I want to do, how do I want to grow, what do I want to learn. My win is that I decided this week to sign up for a podcast course to learn more and grow my podcast. I’m so excited - first that I made a decision and now that have goals to meet.

LaurenJeanKinghorn, “Just launched my new podcast & YT channel, Fempreneurs Unite, with and interview and an awesome giveaway.”

On Tiktok, Olivia shares “moving away from home for college tomorrow. Excited and nervous about it.”

The.Elise.Diaries, “I listened to my body’s needs and ate intuitively! And I practiced my guitar and sang and I sound really good! It’s a win that I’m positive about me.

?? (double question mark) shares, “I went to college and had a panic attack but I got through by myself.

Gay Frog, shares with us “I managed to find my way home after I got on the wrong bus. I know it’s not big but I was scared and it was pouring down rain.”

Side note: No win is too small. They all count. They all build up to bigger things. And I’ll be honest, this doesn’t feel super small to me. You should be really proud of yourself. 

Finally, Sunny day shares, “Going to look at a new school for autistic because I’m autistic.”

00:21:21

[cheering sounds]

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of moments here and think of a recent win of yours: small - or big, that you can celebrate.Got it? Okay now, pump your hands in the air, do a little wiggle of joy and a small cheer. You should be really proud of yourself.

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us! You may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my win videos posted on TikTok or Instagram: just be sure to add the microphone emoji.

00:22:05

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in life in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like working on your presence, finding a community (check out the GPS support Flock if you need one), listening to this podcast, or doing private coaching with me - or someone else. As always, I’d love for you to share what you use in your life’s toolbox for either moment in life - use that Google voice number to share, or DM me!

What’s in my toolbox? 

Well, with the emotional ups and downs that I’ve had over the last few months, I have found myself enjoying a bit of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Not daily or anything like that but enough to think - you know what? I don’t usually eat ice cream and sometimes, I just want some ice cream and a sad movie. Yes! I did the ice cream and watch the movie Beaches thing. It was exactly what I needed in that moment. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I consciously chose to do it and decided that this is a great top of the toolbox item for me - used in moderation.  Choosing to put it in my life’s toolbox has been kind of fun. It’s a really great tool to consciously use until I have time to really be able to dive deeper into my thoughts and everything. What kind of things do you use on emotional days? 

00:23:41

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

Do you know about the show TaskMaster? I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned it before on this podcast - and the New Zealand series is now available on YouTube. Holy Cow, the season two cast is a riot - and has provided me with many laughs recently. Laughter really is good for our souls.

00:24:03

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Showing up unexpectedly at college to check in on your kiddo and demand to be let into the dorm isn’t  - uh - how shall we say -  always appreciated. And, no, you don’t automatically have access to their school records if they haven’t given you permission. Please don’t go around your student and make a scene. It isn’t fun for anyone - especially your college student. 

00:24:31

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Is anyone in your life missing home?

and Question 2:  How bright are you shining your light into the world? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this episode please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow the show in your favorite podcast player!

I’ll be back with a new episode in October where I’ll share some lessons I’ve learned through my marriage separation, I’ll talk about the narratives we have for our lives, remind you about sunk costs and more.

My beautiful friend, life is no joke and you are managing it. While our life has moments that are amazing and beautiful, it also has heart wrenching and fear-inducing moments. This totality of life is what helps us to grow. Be sure that you are living in the moment you are currently in - rather than living in the past or the future. Because missed moments are sometimes missed growth opportunities. 

You’ve got this. Enjoy the journey and never forget that you are amazing. Chat next time!

[end music]

[00:25:53]

[bloopers]

00:26:02

Are you still listening? 

Take a deep breath in my friend. Let the air out and as the air exits your lungs, let go of negative energy, let go of negative thoughts about yourself and as you breathe in again fill your body with positive energy and only loving thoughts about yourself. 

[end music]

[end]

145: Monday Motivation & My Wish For You Today 💚

145:  Monday Motivation & My Wish For You Today 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My wish for you today is that you have clarity in your life on what you need to do today. And I’m not talking about the 400 things in your mind that you need to accomplish all year, I’m talking about the handful of things that are do-able for today."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Monday Motivation & My Wish for You Today

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:04 My Wish for You Today & a New Exercise to Consider

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 145

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #145.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:04

[computer game level up music (short)]  

My Wish for you Today

My wish for you today is that you have clarity in your life on what you need to do today. And I’m not talking about the 400 things in your mind that you need to accomplish all year, I’m talking about the handful of things that are do-able for today. 

How about a 1-2-3 Exercise? 

Choose at least:

One thing for self-care

Two things that HAVE to be done and

Three small things that you have to get done to serve the tomorrow-you.

Make them small and do-able

If you are my age and you watched a lot of Sesame Street as a child, there was this song that had in it 1,2,3. I won’t sing it because I don’t own the rights to it, but as I was assembling this, that song flowed through my mind. 

So, a little bit more on each one of these.

00:01:51

ONE for self-care - it doesn't have to be a full on spa appointment, it could be you painting your nails. And if you have more time, don’t feel limited to one thing. 

TWO things that HAVE to be done. These I think of as the larger items such as for me, go to work and be productive at work - I could use the one-two three method within my work day as well. But Work and packing my Lunch would be two things that I would have under number two. 

And Three small things that serve tomorrow-you, again, SMALL THINGS. If you have extra time, great add things on but not until you do the three small things - I don’t want to limit you with examples but I’ll give you a few anyway. Maybe it is prep food for your lunch tomorrow, or layout your workout clothes for tomorrow, or call someone you have been needing to call. Don’t limit yourself in any of these categories. 

You determine them and make this exercise your own. 

It is Monday, it is a brand new day to start your day and week ahead. I’m excited to see what you do with it and I’m cheering you on. 

Happy Monday my beautiful friend. 

You are amazing!

Talk tomorrow. 

[end music]

144: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Plan Your Week Ahead 💚

144: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Plan Your Week Ahead 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"It is really important to understand that in the empty nest adjustment, for most of us, there isn’t a switch that flips that designates when the empty nest happens. It can be a transition that takes months or years - sometimes decades - where we’re navigating our babies becoming independent adults and moving permanently out on their own. Some never reach that. The back and forth, the emotions that arise each time aren’t to be ignored, my friend. They deserve recognition and processing because each stage of this transition is progress - for you and for them. Remember to enjoy the journey, my friend."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Sunday Prep for Your Week Ahead

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:40 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 Personal Thoughts on Our Daughter's College Graduations
  • 04:10 Sunday Prep Work

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 144

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #144.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stand

s for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:40

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor.  

00:01:03

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Did you get to listen to my last two episodes? In them, I share ten things to keep in mind when your child graduates from high school. I’d love to know your thoughts on those, and what you’d add.

I’ve recorded this episode earlier in the week, and it is fun to think about our daughter’s high school graduation as this Sunday morning, I’ll be waking up to our daughter’s college graduation day. 

Over the last four years, she’s changed her majors and minors - sometimes by her choice and sometimes because of circumstances. She’s become independent enough to walk around alone for fun in a town that is multiple states away from home. She’s learned to advocate for herself - even more than she already had done - and she’s been reminded that no, everyone won’t necessarily jump on board when you stand up for yourself - be it for what you believe in or for your mental health - but to stay the course, take care of yourself, stay true to what you believe in and your core group of people will rise up. They’ll show who they are in your life. Some of these amazing humans will be in your life for only a season. Some will return, fences will mend, and others well, that season won’t be coming back. That’s okay too. She’s learned a whole bunch more but for now, I wanted to share some thoughts of where I am. 

If my daughter will have allowed it, I’ll have posted some photos on Instagram this past weekend, feel free to check it out. She’s a force to be reckoned with and I couldn’t be more proud of the bravery she’s had to head out to an out of state college knowing no one at the age of fourteen. No, it hasn’t been a cake-walk but she’s met true peers and friends for life who “get” her which is honestly, what I, as her mother, was hoping for. 

Little secret: I’ve asked her and her friends to pop on my podcast to talk about what it was like to attend college so early. We’ll see if I’m successful with that. I figure it might help someone with a decision - I kind of wish I had something like that - and for everyone else it should be super interesting.

Now, if you are a student listening to this...if you are about to graduate and are feeling a bit lost. Please know that it’s normal. Having doubts about everything? Also normal. Take it one step at a time, you’ve got this. I believe in you and for the record, I’m super proud of you whether you are my child or someone I’ve never met, I am cheering you on.

As for our daughter, she’ll be coming home for some time, and I’ll get to use my own tips on what to do when your child is home for a break - again, and for a bit. 

It is really important to understand that in the empty nest adjustment, for most of us, there isn’t a switch that flips that designates when the empty nest happens. It can be a transition that takes months or years - sometimes decades - where we’re navigating our babies becoming independent adults and moving permanently out on their own. Some never reach that. The back and forth, the emotions that arise each time aren’t to be ignored, my friend. They deserve recognition and processing because each stage of this transition is progress - for you and for them. Remember to enjoy the journey, my friend. 

00:04:13

[computer game level up music (short)] 

As for the Sunday prep work, I thought it would be nice to take a moment to think about our week ahead. 

Yes, right now… you might have a routine that you are used to, and that’s fantastic but I’d like to encourage you to take some time to do an extra little bit of planning this week. 

Yes seriously. Future-you will thank you. 

Think of three things you can accomplish this week that you don’t have on your radar. I’m talking about those things that sneak up on us - maybe it is looking at the next six weeks ahead to see if there is anything you can prep for now.  

For example, I have a colonoscopy coming up - I can make sure I have everything I need for that prep experience. 

Or you could look at birthdays or celebrations that are going on in the next two months and jot down thoughts on how to get ahead on those. 

Have a doctor appointment you are putting off? 

How about a small area you’ve been wanting to declutter? I said a small area. 

I use the three things method in my daily life and even in my work. It is incredibly helpful for me to assess the top three priorities for the day - often I get more than three done but it’s bonus then and it feels amazing. 

Try finding three things to help your future-self. Then get out your calendar or however you plan your days and schedule time to do them. 

Remember, you are gifting your future-self with this time. Just like the thought-delivery inventory we do, planning is work that is worth it. 

I’d love for you to share something you chose to add to your week ahead. 

If your week is off-the-charts busy, that is okay, this is simply a suggestion. If you are motivated by it, try it. Find moments to be thankful, to be present in and use those to reset you when things aren’t so great. 

Go get ‘em

You are amazing!

Talk tomorrow. 

[end music]

143: 5 More Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

143: 5 More Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Yes, we’ll always be their parent and will jump in when needed, can offer advice and such but it is time for them to become who they are meant to be in this world, not who we want them to be."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: 5 More Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:04 5 More Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 143

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #143.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to contact me - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:04

[computer game level up music (short)]  

In my last episode I shared 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School. Today we’re going to talk about 5 More things, and of course, this list is not exhaustive. What would you add to these? 

We start today with

Number 5:  Is College in Their Future? Start Prepping Now.

If college is in your emerging adult’s future, they probably have decided on where they are headed. This is a great time to look for checklists for your kiddo - the dorm essentials of course, but also, what forms will you need to fill out, how will medical appointment works when they are away at college - should you need them, need new bedding - many dorm beds are not a standard twin size - check that now because they tend to become hard to find in August.  Also consider what foods can they stock in their dorm room to get them through study breaks and sickness. 

Number 4: Begin Transitioning into a Coaching Role.

Yes, we’ll always be their parent and will jump in when needed, can offer advice and such but it is time for them to become who they are meant to be in this world, not who we want them to be. Be their safe space, my empty nest friend. If their dreams are aligned with your dreams for them, that’s fantastic but more than likely that won’t happen. Work on your thoughts about their future and use those listening skills and ask when they want advice rather than demanding they do something because that is the way it should be. No one likes to be controlled like that and conversations always work better than demands. Your child is your child. Ideally, you love them no matter what career they choose, no matter who they choose to love, and how they choose to live their life. Lead with love and provide a safe space for them to figure their life out - for as long as you can. Do I really need to tell you that if their life is in danger, of course you are going to step in. But when you rarely step in, your actions and words will have a greater impact than if you just had a similar emotion about maybe their music choice. 

Number 3: Prepare for Change, Warning: Strong Emotions May be Ahead

You are in a transition now. Change is inevitable and just when you get used to one change, it’s going to change again. You know, just like parenting up until this point - it keeps going. Every time your child leaves home and moves back home, you have the opportunity to learn who they are all over again - to discover how they’ve changed. You could spiral into a ball of sadness over the younger years being gone, or you could notice when you have those moments of missing youth, tell yourself, “it’s okay I feel this way, but I don’t want to miss who is in front of me now.” and move forward. You’ve got this, you can handle it and yes, be aware that strong emotions may pop up when you least expect it. See those emotions, feel them and know you’ll get through them. I’m cheering you on! Enjoy the journey.

Number 2: Have fun!

With all of the celebration, the life skill learning, and adjusting to the transition it is easy to focus on the checklists but to miss having fun in the simple moments of life. Don’t miss those. Make time to have fun along the way.

Number 1: You’ve earned it.

My listener, raising a human is no joke. No one trains us for all of the things that you have had to navigate over the years. Sure we have resources we can find if we have access to them. Sometimes we have great parents, friends or mentors that help out but in the end, you did the daily grind, the feedings, the sleepless nights, the navigation of a school system, the anxiety over how they might be treated, and well, I could list things for the next day and I wouldn’t be done. My friend, you’ve earned a celebration for yourself - maybe not a party - but definitely do something to commemorate their graduation for you. Well done. No, you aren’t done parenting but you made it this far and keep in mind it isn’t guaranteed to us as parents to experience this moment for a plethora of reasons. Be grateful, be proud and be you while allowing your child to be them. Congratulations, you’ve earned it. 

[music]

00:05:32

I’ll be back tomorrow to share some thoughts about our daughter’s college graduation and we’ll also talk about resetting ourselves, since it’s Sunday, for the week ahead. Remember, I have 142 other episodes available for you to catch up on or relisten to when you are possibly driving, doing chores or taking a walk.

My amazing empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

142: 5 Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

142: 5 Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I know you have a million things you want to tell your child to make sure they are prepared for what’s ahead but don’t lose listening to their hopes and dreams as you navigate this transition."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 142

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #142.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

==================================================

00:01:03

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Here are your 5 things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School - I’ll share 5 more in my next episode!

I’m gonna count down from ten.

10: This is a Big Deal - and I have ten things to say about this.

10. You raised a Human

9. You Learned A Lot About Parenting

8. You Learned A Lot about Yourself

7. You Cleaned a Lot of Messes  both Physical & Emotional

6. Not a Milestone Everyone Reaches, Sadly

5. You’ve Experienced the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

4. Driving Lessons? If you got through those, those are No Joke.

3. You’ve had to Re-Learned Topics that your Child's Doing in School and You Did Year's Ago

2. You Spent A Little Bit of Money and number

1. And Made it to a New Level in Life

Isn’t that fun? When you have a countdown, and then have a countdown within a countdown?

[small giggle]

Okay, no more of that.

00:002:00

Number 9 out of Things to Remember as your Child Graduates from High School is to Celebrate it!

Whether the celebration is big or small, it’s worth celebrating. I don’t necessarily mean, this has to be a huge party. Think about how not only how your emerging adult can celebrate but also how you can celebrate. This is a milestone, and it doesn’t need to be all food truck in the driveway, magazine quality decor type of thing. You could decide to do a project together that commemorates this moment - one for both of you. Maybe spend a day going through photos of their childhood and seeing what ones they might like in a photo book or frame for their life ahead. Are they moving out tomorrow? Probably not, but for most of us that day arrives and the last thing we are thinking about in that moment is, what photos does my kiddo want for the future? What should I make sure they have? If you don’t have many photos - this is a reality for some -  it would be a good time to talk about big memories and to document them. Maybe having a day or two set aside for that with music and favorite snacks - that sounds like a fun celebration to me. 

If you are into the big parties and can do that - enjoy that - that is how you enjoy celebrating and both ways are valuable. 

00:03:12

Number 8: Appreciate Growth

Some of these may sound like they’re the same - but while this could be celebrating, in my mind, it’s a little different. Taking the time to reflect not only on how much your child has grown but also how much you have grown as a human is a gift worth giving yourself. I’m not talking about height only here - I’m talking about emotional growth, maturity, taking time to try things to discover if they are a good fit for your life - and again, this is for both you as a parent and  child. Think back to the first day they came home with you - who you were as a human and who you are now is different. Would past-you even recognize you now? This is a super fun exercise, by the way. If it brings you down, don’t do it, just let it go. 

00:03:59

Number 7: Look at Life Skills

More than likely one day your kiddo will be moving out of your home. For some of us it is sooner than later - and for others we wonder when they will ever leave. Remember everyone has a different path for their life but this is a great time to take stock on life skills that they could use moving forward. Do you still book their medical appointments for them? Do you order and pick up their prescriptions? Do you remind them to take their prescriptions? Do they have any idea about how to manage their money - or how much rent would cost? Do they understand how credit cards really work? How to make some meals for themselves? You know, all those things that you need to survive day to day. 

00:04:43

Number 6: Listen

Remember to listen to your incredible child now. If they are heading somewhere in the fall (or sooner), you won’t have this luxury soon. I know you have a million things you want to tell your child to make sure they are prepared for what’s ahead but don’t lose listening to their hopes and dreams as you navigate this transition. You’ll learn so much about them, and practice this early. Things like, “What a fun idea, how do you think that will work?” type of questions, rather than statements that shut down their sharing. 

[music]

I’ll be back tomorrow to complete my list of ten things to remember as your child graduates from high school - yes, I’ll share five more things. Remember, I have 141 other episodes available for you to catch up on or relisten to when you are driving, doing chores or taking a walk.

My amazing empty nest friend, a little birdie reminded me that you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

00:05:44

[blooper]

[end music]

[end]