140: Wednesday Wins, What I Wish My Parents Knew & More (The Daily Experiment) 💚

140: Wednesday Wins, What I Wish My Parents Knew & More (The Daily Experiment) 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a recent win of yours: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? Now imagine that you look up into the sky (pretend you're outside on a clear day - if you aren’t) and you look up just in time to catch a small aircraft that has a sign behind it. That sign says, “I’m so proud of you - keep going - you are worth it.""

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Celebrating You & Your Wins and How to Prepare for College

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:44 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 03:28 Win Note from Coach Christine
  • 04:15 What I Wish My Parents Knew: How To Prepare for College
  • 05:16 My Question for You
  • 06:06 Bloopers

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

  • What is with the Daily Episodes? Here is the Explanation: The Daily Experiment, Your Empty Nest Coach Style: My Wish For You Today & New Things 💚
  • What’s New: 1:1 Coaching Open Spots
  • Celebrating Your Wins:  @EmptyNestCoach on TikTok  | @EmptyNestCoach on Instagram
  • What I Wish My Parents Knew: Things to Do to Prepare for College

  • * affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

    Subscribe To This Podcast

    It is FREE!

    Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

    The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 140

    FULL TRANSCRIPT

    00:00:00

    Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #140.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

    [level-up music]

    your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

    I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

    [short intro music]

    00:00:44

    Some quick reminders: You’ll find information to most of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

    00:01:03

    [computer game level up music (short)]  

    Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

    My win? I’m back to eating healthier in a way that serves my body well, and that feels good. 

    As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

    Our Instagram family shared wins but only one gave me the okay to share here - and that is from our friend Katherine in New Zealand she’s the5kilotraveller, and she shared, “I gained more clarity around what’s important for me on this 5 kilo travel adventure. I need to stick to my guns that I’m into inspiring and encouraging and not fear based marketing.” 

    Side note from Coach Christine: YES, Please! We need more of this in the world.

    And for our TikTok family…

    Sunny day shared, “No school today so got extra sleep and had water and ate a meal.” and later they shared, “Have a day off from school so gonna take some time for myself. 

    Chelsea, “just committed to Grand Valley State University for college!”

    Mariadoor, “My fourth and youngest child just passed his driving test! I consider this my win as well as his because I survived teaching 4 kids how to drive.”

    I have one and we still haven’t gotten there so I’m super impressed. My listener, I tried something with that group of wins and responded to each one of them with a video on TikTik. It was super fun - it kind of had a Cameo feel - and they are all there for you to see if you want to check them out.

    Continuing with our TikTok wins:

    Kelsea shared, “ I just put my deposit in at college! I’ll be going to UVic in the fall!” 

    Pure. pixiedust - one of my favorite accounts to follow - shared, “I finally found a job I feel good at and I’m surrounded with accepting people. It rocks!”

    HIllary - our Life Organization friend shared, “I was promoted to director at work!”

    Jana’s win is, “I’m getting ready to put my college deposit down because I’m graduating a year early!!!!!” 

    Angelica “submitted her auditions”

    Jillian started a new job - and hasn’t worked in 5 years due to illness.

    Hola, “made it through the day.” 

    Avery was “invited to play in the soccer tournament with a new team.”

    00:03:28

    Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a recent win of yours: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? Now imagine that you look up into the sky (pretend you're outside on a clear day - if you aren’t) and you look up just in time to catch a small aircraft that has a sign behind it. That sign says, “I’m so proud of you - keep going - you are worth it.” 

    As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - and you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram: just add the microphone emoji.

    00:06:38

    [computer game level up music (short)] 

    What I Wish My  Parents Knew

    This one is related to your child heading to college:

    My TikTok audience asked me how to best prepare for the college transition. I created a hotline video about this - to be honest, this could be an all-day seminar but I chose to focus on having them create a list of all the things that their parent does for them on a daily basis - things that parents won’t be able to do once college begins. You know things like food, laundry (mask washing), prescription refills, are you possibly your child’s alarm - if they are heading to campus, you won’t be there to do these things in the fall, that means it benefits your child now to take inventory of these things now - make an actual list - and then work on backing off on these items because to suddenly lose them all in the fall can be a bit of a shock with all the other changes in their life - and in your life. I’ll link my video in the show notes if you want to use it as a discussion starter for you as a family. Enjoy the transition, my amazing friend!

    00:05:17

    [happy music (short)] 

    My Question for You:

    What tip would you tell someone heading to college?

    As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

    My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

    If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

    I’ll be back tomorrow to share a reset exercise with you - I call these the GPS reset exercises. You also have 139 other episodes to catch up on or for you to relisten to when you are driving, maybe doing chores or taking a walk.

    Did you hear the news? My beautiful friend, you are amazing!

    Talk tomorrow!

    [end music]

    [blooper]

    139: Where’s Christine, Find the Funny & What’s in Your Toolbox (The Daily Experiment) 💚

    139: Where's Christine, Find the Funny & What's in Your Toolbox (The Daily Experiment) 💚

    Hello, my amazing friend!

    Coach Christine,

    Your Empty Nest Coach

    "I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes."

    Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

    ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

    @emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: A TikTok heavy episode - toolbox, find the funny and where I've been

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    This Episode is Brought To You By

    Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

    • 00:43 Quick Reminders
    • 01:03 Where's Christine?
    • 02:40 What's in Your Life's Toolbox?
    • 03:55 Let's Find the Funny

    💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

    First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

    Episode Resources

    * affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

    Subscribe To This Podcast

    It is FREE!

    Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

    The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 139

    FULL TRANSCRIPT

    00:00:00

    Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #139.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

    [level-up music]

    your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

    I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

    [short intro music]

    00:00:43

    Some quick reminders: You’ll find the answers to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

    00:01:03

    [quirky music under segment]

    Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

    Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead, and I share a reset for your day. Periodically, we pop into Instagram live after and record an IGTV for you. 

    If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there or on Instagram!

    I’m surprised, I don’t believe I mentioned this yet on my podcast but I was included in an article titled “The Real Moms of TikTok.” I am honored to be in an article with that title and have met some new friends through it. Of course, I’ll link it in my show notes!

    You won’t get to see this other one, but it is worth sharing. I was asked to judge some podcasts for the CASE, Circle of Excellence awards. CASE stands for the Council for Advancement and Support of Education and high-level, I got to listen to some great Higher Ed(ucation) podcasts and chat with our judging team about what I think about them. If you ever have the opportunity to participate as a judge in something that you like  - is in an area of your interest, I highly recommend it. You are forced to approach it with a different lens and for me - I like what I learned. Bonus points for making new connections - which is always fun!

    Of course, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

    00:02:40

    What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

    As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate what’s next; other things - those that are at the bottom of your toolbox -  are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me - or someone else. I’d love for you to share what works for you in your life’s toolbox for others to consider. Remember, these are always suggestions. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa - don’t be afraid to try new things!

    For me, this week, I have to say, yes, TikTok, it’s been in my toolbox all week. When I had moments of overload from all of the boxes and cleaning needed to be done. I would take five minutes - which - yeah - sometimes turned into 15 or 20 - but I would either watch videos or create videos and without fail, I came back to the task at hand feeling rejuvenated. I’m so thankful for that. 

    00:03:52

    [computer game level up music (short)] 

    00:03:55

    Let’s find the funny!

    [giggles from others] 

    Okay, don’t get mad at me, this is another TikTok video but it isn't actually the video that I’m talking about, it’s the audio - it is the sound from a video that Andrhea2.0 has with one of her videos - and I used it to show how vicious our cat Lego is - that is sarcasm again, in case you are wondering. I still laugh every time I hear that audio. 

    00:04:17

    I’ll be back tomorrow to share your wins and more, my empty nest friend. Talk tomorrow! 

    Oh, you didn’t think I forgot did you… you are amazing!

    [end music]

    138: Shared Future Goals (The Daily Experiment) 💚

    138: Shared Future Goals (The Daily Experiment) 💚

    Hello, my amazing friend!

    Coach Christine,

    Your Empty Nest Coach

    "This future-you dreaming is powerful and incredibly important, my friend."

    Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

    ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

    @emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Shared Future Goals

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    This Episode is Brought To You By

    Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

    • 00:44 Quick Reminders
    • 01:07 My Lessons Learned: Your Future Self and Sharing Future Goals

    💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

    First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

    Episode Resources

    * affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

    Subscribe To This Podcast

    It is FREE!

    Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

    The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 138

    FULL TRANSCRIPT

    00:00:00

    Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #138.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

    [level-up music]

    your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

    I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

    [short intro music]

    00:00:44

    Quick reminders: You’ll find the answer to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to subscribe or follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

    00:01:07

    [computer game level up music (short)] 

    My Lessons Learned 

    What have I learned recently? 

    Shared future-goals are super fun! In my last episode I talked about knowing where you are heading without being set on how you get there. With our personal move, hubby and I have been discussing what is next for us… how soon is retirement in our future? What does that even look like for us? And those things. I’ll be honest, walks are our best time to communicate, and he’s been doing some fun research. 

    Both of us know our full-time day job work isn’t something we can walk away from any time soon due to the need to catch up on our nest egg, our current commitments and those things, but we came up with a super fun and adventurous plan for our retirement together: one that will take many years of research and planning to pull off in a way we will be comfortable. I will say, it is incredible how much more meaningful our full-time work became now that we have this fun adventure to work toward. 

    We discussed on one walk how without that plan, it does feel a bit like a hamster wheel - you begin to wonder, “Where is the end?” - I mean the answer definitely could be, “well, there isn’t one.” That’s fun, and yes, that’s sarcasm; but not knowing what the end COULD look like can be defeating… 

    But then… add in some dreaming and planning into the mix and you may begin to see the strong possibility of making something happen that invigorates you, that gives you a reason why you do what you do - at least for now. 

    00:02:41

    On another walk, we also discussed that this plan totally might change the more research we do, and that’s okay. The research is half the fun. I talk about this often when I’m coaching clients and talking in my podcast about your future-self: once you discover who they are - you can use them as your GPS for your life. You let them guide you and then you do research. You try living in the idea of that future-life possibility by deeply (ever so deeply) using your imagination -  in excruciating detail - and do that for some time - to play out how it might really look for you. It is only then, that you can begin to ask questions such as: 

    • Do I like that lifestyle? 

    • Does the lifestyle allow me to keep the things I love about my current life?

    • Am I willing to give up what I’ll need to give up to get there?

    • Am I willing to give up who I’ll need to give up in my life to get there?

    • Do I like my sleeping and waking hours? 

    • Do I have the same support group around me or a different one and is that okay?

    • Do I like how much free time I have?

    • Was the work to get there worth the benefits?

    00:03:57

    Many of my clients do this work and do find that the “dream” that they thought they wanted, is actually a bit of a drag in one way or another. It is then that they get to decide if they wanna scrap that dream completely or maybe adjust it a bit. 

    This future-you dreaming is powerful and incredibly important, my friend. 

    I’ve been doing this stuff for years on my own, you can’t just ask someone to join you and expect them to be on board when they are so entrenched in details of where their life is now. It takes work to get to this point where you can dream again. But over time, if you keep doing it, sometimes things will shift in your life, and those others in your life that weren’t able to dream might start to be able to dream, too. I will tell you, I’m having a blast listening to my husband's ideas, his excitement and dreams. 

    Right now, some of these dreams we are super aligned together with - a couple we’re a little bit off but we have many years to figure it out together. 

    00:05:02

    And then let’s be real for a minute, with life we might not have all these future years that we think we have together - sucky things happen in life that you don’t expect but what excites me is that by dreaming we aren’t wasting this time being miserable where we are. What fun is that? 

    We are dreaming for the future in a way that allows us almost the opportunity to live in it now and should we discover what we want that future - we can then begin to plan for it.

    I’ve also mentioned this before - think about the moment you book a vacation. Yeah, remember those? For me, that vacation begins the moment I mentally decide we’re going on vacation because the planning really is part of the vacation. Have you experienced that? 

    In this segment I leave you with - where could you be dreaming more? It’s super fun!

    00:06:02

    And with that - I’ll be back tomorrow talking about what’s in your life’s toolbox, where I’ve been and finding the funny.

    Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these new shorter episodes, my empty nest friend. 

    It is Monday, and yes, even on Mondays You Are Amazing!

    Talk tomorrow!

    [end music]

    00:06:24

    [blooper]

    [end music - splash]

    [end]

    137: A Mother’s Day Message 2021 (The Daily Experiment)💚

    137: A Mother's Day Message 2021 ( The Daily Experiment)💚

    Hello, my amazing friend!

    Coach Christine,

    Your Empty Nest Coach

    "To my friends who dislike this day because they are a Mother but their family just treats it like any other day: Yes, this happens. Please remember this one day is not the be all and end all to how they show your love. They love you, but they may not show it today. If you are still having a hard time feeling thankful, go back to my first two comments above and try looking at life a bit differently. Then treat yourself today. You are worth it."

    Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

    ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

    @emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: A Mother's Day Message 💚

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    This Episode is Brought To You By

    Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

    • 00:44 Quick Reminders
    • 01:15 A Mother's Day Message

    💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

    First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

    Episode Resources

    * affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

    Subscribe To This Podcast

    It is FREE!

    Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

    The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 137

    FULL TRANSCRIPT

    00:00:00

    Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #137.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

    [level-up music]

    your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

    I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

    [short intro music]

    00:00:44

    Quick reminders: I’m in the midst of super short daily episodes to combat a busy time in my life. For the details on that check out episode #135. You’ll find the answer to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass who powers our online community - that’s coming soon - is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

    00:01:15

    Today I’m sharing something I found that I wrote and posted to Facebook back in 2016 - this was back when I posted on Facebook regularly. So, it’s been a while. I tweaked it a tiny bit and I share it with you today.

    To my friends who think of their mother in heaven, today: 

    Know that your mother lives in you. She’s proud of you, and she loves you. Remember those great moments together and I am sending you a hug. 

    To my friends who think of their child in heaven, today: 

    I have no words. Love. I send you love.

    To my friends who have estranged relationships with their mother or child: 

    I pray that peace will enter your lives this year - for both of you and that closure and the rekindling of a relationship - if possible and healthy - enters your life. May love win overall. Remember the good times even if they are hard to find.

    To my friends who aren’t “Moms:”

    I can’t begin to tell you how important you are to me. No matter your age, gender, race or how we know each other, YOU help me to be the mother I am. You listen even when you may not have a clue what I’m talking about and even when you may not want to hear me talk about my child anymore. You have NO idea how important that is to me and how much it helps me to be a better mother. THANK YOU.

    And to my friends who dislike this day because they are a Mother but their family just treats it like any other day: 

    Yes, this happens. Please remember this one day is not the be all and end all to how they show your love. They love you, but they may not show it today. If you are still having a hard time feeling thankful, go back to my first two comments above and try looking at life a bit differently.  Then treat yourself today. You are worth it.

    To my friends who love this day because it is all about them and they feel the love from their family:

    You are truly blessed. Enjoy every minute. You deserve it.

    00:03:28

    As I read through that, there’s probably a few things I’d tweak even a little more but you get the idea.

     I’ll be back tomorrow talking about the topic of shared future goals.

    Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so for a new episode from me, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these new shorter episodes, my empty nest friend. 

    Don’t you dare forget that You Are Amazing!

    Talk tomorrow!

    00:03:55

    [blooper]

    [end music]

    136: The Daily Experiment – When You Worry About Re-Grieving a Lost Child 💚

    136: The Daily Experiment - When You Worry About Re-Grieving a Lost Child 💚

    Hello, my amazing friend!

    Coach Christine,

    Your Empty Nest Coach

    "Emotions may arise and that’s okay - you’re strong enough to get through them. Then you’ll begin to take inventory on the thoughts - I call those thoughts your thought-deliveries. And for each one you’re going to ask yourself: “Is it true?”  “Do I love this thought (or do I even like it)?” Consider if there is a way to adjust the thought in a way that allows you to show up better for yourself and the world now?"

    Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

    ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

    Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode When you worry about grieving a lost child:

    Click to Tweet

    This Episode is Brought To You By

    Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

    • 00:40 Quick Reminders
    • 01:42 Ask Coach Christine: Re-Grieving a Child

    💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

    First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

    Episode Resources

    * affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

    Subscribe To This Podcast

    It is FREE!

    Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

    The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 136

    FULL TRANSCRIPT

    00:00:00

    Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #136.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

    [level-up music]

    your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

    I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

    00:00:40

    Quick reminders: I’m in the midst of super short daily episodes to combat a busy time in my life. For the details on that check out episode #135. You’ll find the answer to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to subscribe or follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass who powers our online community - that’s coming soon - is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

    00:01:08

    [computer game level up music (short)] 

    Ask Coach Christine

    I received this sobering question in my TikTok DMs. Tameria did give me permission to share her name, her question (although I did generalize it a bit), and my response to her. Here was Tameria’s initial question to me:

    I’m listening to your podcast and enjoying it! I have a situation that I was wondering if you have dealt with. My first child died at a young age (cancer). My other child is a junior and I feel anxiety that I will re-grieve my first child while adjusting to the empty nest. Have you discussed bereaved parents on your podcast? 

    00:01:42

    My response? 

    Thank you for reaching out Tameria. I have not covered this on my podcast thus far but you are the third person to ask me about this in the last couple of months so let me say a few words about it. 

    First of all, I don’t have words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Whether it was two weeks ago or twenty years ago. I can’t imagine anything more painful than losing a child. I personally have not experienced this myself, so I can only offer what I do when coaching any happening in our life - it is first to know you are strong enough to feel your emotions when they pop-in, and also know that you’ll get to the other side of them.

    Use those top of your C.E.O. toolbox items when the emotions begin to feel overwhelming: the hobbies that make you happy, the self-care routines that allow you to escape a bit - whatever those are for you. You can try adding “and that’s okay” to the end of statements you make in your mind - for example: “I miss my child... and that’s okay.” “I wish my child would have been able to experience this... and that’s okay I feel that way.” 

    Try those until you are in a place where you can do a little bit more thought-work. When you do feel you are ready for the next step, take out a piece of paper and write down all of the thoughts you are thinking. Give yourself a five minute timer if it helps. 

    Emotions may arise and that’s okay - you’re strong enough to get through them.

    Then you’ll begin to take inventory on the thoughts - I call those thoughts your thought-deliveries. And for each one you’re going to ask yourself: 

    “Is it true?”

    “Do I love this thought (or do I even like it)?”

    Consider if there is a way to adjust the thought in a way that allows you to show up better for yourself and the world now? 

    One warning: be cautious of the “should have” statements that tend to pop-up as those are usually indicators that you aren’t accepting a truth about where you are now. 

    For example: “My child should have been able to experience this.” Honestly, yes, they absolutely should have. I won’t argue that for a moment. However, if you continually focus on thoughts like these and spin on them, you don’t get to move into then thoughts like, “My child would have loved this, and I will enjoy it for them” - those types of thoughts.

    I realize, also, I am saying this as if it’s easy. 

    None of this work is easy -  even without adding a child’s early passing into the mix, so please give yourself grace, patience and kindness as you mourn, or when re-mourning moments pop-up. It’s okay when they do. You’ve got this.

    Also remember that when you keep thought-deliveries in your mind about  how you might feel in the future, when your other child heads to college, in a way you are already living in it as if it’s already true. And with that, find things that help you to be present in your life now.

    Continue to give yourself grace as you check your thoughts, and bump up those self-care things you love when things get really rough. It’s okay.

    Should this topic be something you have on your mind, I’d be honored to work with you.

    Thank you for your question and the permission to share it Tameria. You definitely aren’t alone and I am looking forward to an exciting future for you. Your child who passed would want that for you, too!

    Now, my listener, ff you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. You may also do what Tameria did and DM me. I do consider all submissions.

    And with that - I’ll be back tomorrow with a mother’s day message.

    Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these shorter episodes, my empty nest friend. 

    And don’t you dare forget that You Are Amazing!

    Talk tomorrow!

    [end music]