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159: Empty Nest Success When You’re Self Conscious about Going Gray, Would You Try a Rage Room and a Giveaway 💚

159: Empty Nest Success When You're Self Conscious about Going Gray, Would You Try a Rage Room and a Giveaway 💚

Podcast episode artwork is of where I recorded much of this episode - in my van!

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

This episode is packed full of content. Enjoy!📦

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My wish for you today is that you already understand - or are beginning to uncover - who you are and that you fully grasp and know in your soul that you are here for a reason."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies below, too! Scroll down 🔽 , so you don't miss anything! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

Empty Nest Success When You're Self Conscious about Going Gray, Would You Try a Rage Room, a Giveaway & More: episode 159 of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #goinggray #naturelessons

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 01:14  Quick Reminders
  • 02:11  My Wish For You Today - Adjusting to Your Child Heading to College 
  • 02:59  New Things: Minimalistic Todo List
  • 03:57  My Lessons Learned: Finding Who You Are Through The Fog
  • 07:31  Ask Coach Christine: I'm Self-Conscious About Going Gray
  • 10:26  Christine, Where Are You? PractiMama Podcast & a TikTok Giveaway
  • 11:45  Celebrating You and Your Wins - so many! 🎉
  • 13:25  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? A Rage Room! 
  • 14:53  Let's Find the Funny - Going Gray Silliness
  • 16:45  What I Wish My Parents Knew - "Just Wait Until You Are Older"
  • 18:30  Two Questions For You
  • bloopers 😆
  • 20:29 Still listening? 

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. Are you able to identify thoughts that don’t serve you, throughout the day?
  2. Have you been to or would you go to a rage room?

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

Episode Resources

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 159

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #159. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though, all are welcome here, as I’m all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

[up beat music]

00:00:46

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:14

Before we dive in - a tiny bit of housekeeping and I’m going to see how fast I can share these with you -

First, you’ll find time markers in this episode’s full show notes, if you are looking for something specific or would like to hop around.

Second, you’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com or EmptyNestSuccess.com.

Reminder #3 If you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow it in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home. You may also join my Thursday Thoughts about email list where I’ll pop in your inbox with a thought and updates on most Thursdays. Those are the best ways to be notified when I release a new episode.

➡️And finally, a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for that free account I mentioned - you’ll find it at EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. training team, or purchase other premium content.

00:02:11

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

If you are in the midst of adjusting to having your kiddo - or children (plural) now living outside of your home - be it temporary or permanent, I want to encourage you to be patient with yourself, feel the emotions, take deep breaths, whatever you experience is yours to experience,  and it doesn’t need to be the same as your friend’s experience. Be you and be IN your experience. I have many episodes, resources and videos on the socials about the adjustment. If you are looking for anything in particular, just let me know! And, I’m cheering you on!

Now, My wish for you today is that you already understand or are beginning to uncover who you are and that you fully grasp and know in your soul that you are here for a reason.

00:02:59

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

I’m a minimalist at heart - if you’ve been listening a while, you already know that. And yes, while that applies to the physical things, I’ve been focused over the last month on what do I really have to do today? And the answer is always a lot less than my super long to do list is telling me to do. As I focus on being inspired into creation rather than motivated because I have to do a thing, life has become even more fun - even while finding plumbing leaks, having a new role at my day job, car not starting, and my daughter navigating her chronic illness. Just when I think I know the must-dos for the day, something happens and reframes it all again. And reminds me that I can shorten the list - again - because that list isn’t going anywhere.

00:03:47

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

[inspirational music plays under this segment]

You may already know how much I love nature, and especially early mornings in nature. My most recent hang out early in the morning is a local park that has a lake. A few weeks ago, there was an incredible amount of fog. So much fog that you could barely see the lake. It made me think about the empty nest transition - whether you are going through it with a partner or solo, it doesn’t matter. There is an adjustment to discovering who you are going forward - almost as if discovering a new identity. For many of us, we’ve never really gone past the fog to discover who we are. I thought I’d share the lesson I gained by looking at the fog that particular day and it was a way to look at the phases of self-discovery. 

Phase 1 - we are going through life surrounded by fog - meaning mostly going through the motions: doing what we have to do, what we’ve always done, it kind of feels like life, we say we are living, but we are so used to the fog, we aren’t even aware of it. It has become normal. Others may call this sleepwalking through life, or in the matrix, or unconsciously living.

Phase 2: The fog starts to clear  - this is when you notice you are IN a fog, that there might be more outside of the fog and you take some careful movements forward. You realize you’ve been going through the motions, and you consider: is there more than this? There might be. There might not be. And you begin to ask yourself questions such as “Do I want more than this? Is this who I am? Who am I?” and more. 

In Phase 3,  you can see a big lake, as you look closer, with a reflection in it - and when seeing the reflection you scan to see where the water creates a line - a border - between land and air, but actually, it is blurring together making it difficult to determine. As with all of these phases, you wiggle a bit back and forth on whether or not you wanna keep on discovering, it is after all, all new and can feel scary and unclear. 

Phase 4 is when you walk close enough to see your reflection in the water. You have to be so close to the water to see your reflection. The water is still and you take in the image as if you’ve never seen it before. Who is this person? Do I prefer the fog-filled auto-pilot life better? I might.

You keep going and reach phase 5: It dawns on you how unreal that image of you in the water is and you see that you are in a body that houses your thoughts, your emotions, your trauma, your love, your fears, YOU. And while others have been helpful and supportive, or may guide you on this path of self-discovery, the one who has the most to lose and gain is ultimately YOU. Imagine picking up a smooth stone, and tossing it into the water - rippling away your reflection.

You take a deep breath and another and you feel how your body exists in the world - how your feet touch the ground, how you stand in your physicality. You turn away from the fog and lake and know that while you aren’t sure who you are going to find, you can’t wait to be more of YOU and less of what the world has told you you need to be - as a child, as a parent, as a co-worker, as a friend. You feel empowered, scared, peaceful, excited, thrilled all at once but you know you have felt your connection to your inner self - for just a moment, maybe, and you want more than that. Ultimately, you know the you of ten years from now is who you are honoring by continuing the discovery. After all, you and them, you’re both amazing!

00:07:31

[computer game level up music (short)]

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, do you have a way to be less self-conscious about my appearance as I grow out my gray, or grow my gray hair out? What’s the proper way to say that?

This was a specific question asked during one of our C.E.O. Training Team (to Empty Nest Success) Power Hours - we do those weekly on Mondays. I asked when the self-consciousness appeared for this person and there was a very specific example of being out the grocery store - someone seeing them with their hair growing out and the thoughts coming in.

And here are a few things to keep in mind.

First, the thoughts that are causing your self-consciousness about your hair are your thoughts. Ouch, right? Because unless you have some magical power that allows you to dive into their mind, you are only guessing what they are thinking. More than likely this happens in a split second and you may feel your body tense or stomach feel off before you even notice that your thoughts have gone to how embarrassed you are about your hair (and yes, you can apply this to anything - not just your hair).

Second, the moment you are able to notice your concern of what someone else thinks about you, you have made a step forward. Celebrate this! You have begun to make progress because now you have the opportunity to do one of a few things: a) change the thought you are having b) stop it completely by thinking about something else, or c) keep thinking about it over and over, and over, and over,and over, and over, and over again.

The third thing to keep in mind is if you notice something you’d like to create less resistance in your life for you, such as this, do some thought-work around it when you’re not out in public. There is this part of you that probably doesn’t love the way your hair looks. If you did, you wouldn’t care what anyone else thought. It would be like someone saying they really hate the dress that you’re wearing, and meanwhile you’re in a pantsuit.

You’re not there in your head, so it doesn’t bother you. You’re like, “err, they’re crazy, I don’t know what they’re thinking about.

That’s where we want you to get with your gray hair.

Ultimately, this though-processing is yours to do but it is fun to play with what-if statements so let’s try that: 

What if me growing out my gray hair represents me discovering who I am? What if I don’t care what anyone thinks about it? What future-me loves the results and is patiently waiting for the hair to grow? What if I find I don’t love it in the end and decide to color it again? What would I make that mean and what if I don’t make it mean anything other than I allowed myself this time of growth to be one that I tried something new? What if I love the results? What if I love the growing out process? What if I have fun with this? What if this process is one of peace and joy? What if?

So, those are some serious thoughts about it but we also then had an incredible amount of fun with it and I’m going to share that portion of my answer in the Find the Funny segment of this podcast episode.

00:10:26

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?

I was supposed to mention this ages ago but I believe I may have left it out of prior episodes, so better late than never! You’ll find me as a guest on the PractiMama Parenting podcast that was recorded also, ages ago, before my daughter had graduated from college, before my divorce, before my last name change - before the pandemic even. The PractiMama podcast, hosted by Lee Uehara is focused on mothers with younger children and I do love chatting to moms with younger children! The title of her episode is A Parenting Tip for Being Frustrated with Your Toddler - link will be in the show notes and the entire episode is under five minutes in length!

Also if you are listening to this episode within a week of its release, I have a giveaway currently going on, on TikTok to celebrate passing 10,000 followers. It’s hard to believe that many people have watched and decided to follow me at some point or the other. So, thank you if that’s you, or if that’s going to be you, I appreciate all of you: listeners of my podcast, followers on social media, and more. Look for the video that says Enter Now in the thumbnail to enter - I’ll be hiding that video once the giveaway ends. Good Luck! 

00:11:45

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins

Well, we have so much to celebrate this month from everyone. Super exciting!

Starting with TikTok shares, here we go:

HotFlashesAndCoolTopics: heading to 4th tennis clinic this week!

Bonnie Business Coach Frank: I took two weeks off work because my body was telling me that I needed a break. Entrepreneurs tend to be bad at self care and don’t stop working.  I can vouch for that!

Katie Robinson: I overcame a mental block and successfully did a flying sidekick over a stack of 4 targets in taekwondo for the first time in ages! For the past month every time I saw more than two targets stacked I would lose confidence and stutter-step instead of jumping over them, but no more!

Eyyy Its Tafen says im going back home in two day for a visit, ive been away for over a month now for college and i miss them

Yaggi Toshinori: I've been working on a drawing and I've improved much more than I thought I could!

Popping over to Instagram we have:

Okkilume: i finally made a decision to move where i truly want to live and quit my toxic workplace i'm still scared, but we're getting somewhere

Boneheaded_Alien says I’ve been consistently waking up before noon!

Skittelson135 says: i got the trash out on time!

Mannaquinskywalker06  : I’m closer to getting my permit than ever before

[cheers] 

I had so much fun gathering all of these together, reading them again and thinking of you all - thanks for sharing your wins with us.

If you want your win included next time, be sure to follow me on Instagram or TikTok and comment on the next Wednesday Win video that I post - be sure to add a microphone emoji so I know I have your permission to share your win with my listeners. Wins big and small we celebrate them all. I can’t wait to cheer you on!

00:13:25

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments and then also, do some deeper work, as needed. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time, because sometimes the things that worked well for you two years ago aren’t doing it for you any longer. Today’s recommendation is a fun one if you have one near you.

What is it? Now, I haven’t done this one myself but one of my clients did and absolutely LOVED it. It’s the idea of a destruction room or rage room. While she didn’t go to a destruction room or rage room, she mimicked it in her house, in a way. I might have their particulars off a bit but I seem to remember mention of boxing gloves, loud music, a pillow or two to hit and a lot of yelling. The result felt so good for them that they shared it with us and said, “maybe I should find a rage room?  “Now, they were alone, yelled a lot, and was completely safe -  had planned it out, if you are curious.

 I looked at her and said, “this is a toolbox item for you,” and quite honestly now I’m curious about trying this.

So, my listener, I ask you today, have you ever been to a rage room, or given yourself the space to consciously destroy something in an effort to allow your body to release whatever it is holding on to?

00:14:53

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

I did promise you the funny version of our gray hair grow out conversation and that was when I asked them what they thought the other person was thinking, they shared. And, I said, “so to be clear, you think that this person who probably is in Wal-mart or CVS or wherever you are isn’t thinking about the 400 things in their life but they’re really thinking something like”…

What is going on with her hair?  She is really letting herself go. How could she leave the house like that and be seen in public? Doesn’t she know what hair dye is? I think this store needs to make an announcement. [noise] excuse us shoppers but we have an important announcement to make: we have a shopper who has decided to leave her house, drive here, and shop in the midst of “going gray” She’s in aisle 14 and we think you all should head over there to take a good, long, look. Be sure to make a face, to tell her it isn’t becoming and that she should go home. Thank you and have a nice day.

So, at this point we are giggling a bit but then we add… what we think is really on in their heads.

I don’t know what my wife meant by this on the list. What is the smell in this aisle. Oh, they changed the box color and I’m not sure which item is the one I usually buy now. I can’t believe I lost my phone today! Do I have the money to buy this? [sigh] I’m so exhausted. Oh,I just want to go home and sleep. Paper. Paper. Oh, can’t my children just stay close to the cart so I don’t have to worry about them getting trampled by other carts?Paper, paper, paper, all I need is paper. Don’t look at the other things. Paper, I need paper. Yes, there it is. Woo hoo! I’m outta here….

This all started from the mention of going gray and we end up belly laughing over the store announcements and what everyone’s thinking. So, I hope that next time you catch that pit in your stomach or tension over what someone else may be thinking of you, that you remember more than likely  they’re dealing with their own stuff.

00:16:45

[computer game level up music (short)]

What I Wish My Parents Knew

There is something that parents and grandparents say often - I’ve caught myself saying this - and I’ve heard multiple people complain about the impact of it. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, too.The statement is “just wait until you are older.” 

The statement sometimes is around good things. Other times, it’s around things such as how great the younger generation has it now. 

And what I’ve heard from the younger-set is that - and that I’ve experienced -  is that it isn’t a super supportive statement. It has made me consider other things I can say when I start to want to say this - when I hear the words forming in my mind…

Rather than saying “just wait until you are older, ” How about… 

  1. I prefer honesty. So I’d probably lean toward, “You know I was going to say, “just wait until you are older, but I realize that isn’t super helpful.”  - and then wait, see what comes out of it. 

or

  1. That sounds frustrating (or exciting) is that how it feels? 

or

  1. I remember feeling something like that in my life. I’m happy to share that if you think it is helpful, otherwise, I’m also happy to be a place for you to process your experience.

Or how about

  1. If it’s more serious - “That sounds serious. May I help in any way? I’m finding myself wanting to jump in and help.” 

Those are some ideas. 

Obviously, you can keep saying “Just wait until you are older,” you do you after all. It’s easy to fall into the trap to think you know how something is going to play out for someone but ultimately, we aren’t them. So removing some assumptions - no matter how well we know them - might be an interesting thing to try. As always, have fun with it! 

00:18:30

Two Questions for You

Question 1: Are you able to identify thoughts that don’t serve you, throughout the day?

and Question 2: Have you been to or would you go to a rage room?

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this episode please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Yes, all the goodies, links and resources are in my show notes. I’ll be back next month with a new episode.

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, have some fun. Take some deep breaths, take some walks, and feel your inner you within your body - you might learn something and of course, remember that  YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:19:28

[bloopers]

00:20:29

Still Listening?

My new last name? It is now Oakfield. I am Christine Oakfield. I love it and am starting to get used to using it. Thanks for all the messages about my name change which I spoke about in my last episode.

[end music]

[end]

Posted on

158: Empty Nest Success When The Path Becomes Clear & Guest LaTrina Rogers on What She Wishes Parents of College Students Knew 💚

158: Empty Nest Success - When The Path Becomes Clear & Guest LaTrina Rogers on What She Wishes Parents of College Students Knew 💚

Podcast episode artwork is a selfie on a sunrise walk. This is real life.

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Life will continue to test your thoughts about everything. Be cognizant of what is going on in your mind, as it is game-changing. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"No one was ever in my way more than I allowed them to be AND no one was ever in my way more than I was."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies below, too! Scroll down 🔽 , so you don't miss anything! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

"No one was ever in my way more than I allowed them to be AND no one was ever in my way more than I was." episode 158 of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 01:21 Roe versus Wade
  • 02:22 Quick Reminders
  • 03:30 My Wish For You Today 
  • 04:02  New Things: Patron Membership & Curated Episodes
  • 04:46 My Lessons Learned: Sometimes things get easier the more you embrace them - my name change
  • 11:52 Ask Coach Christine: I'm feeling good about the empty nest ahead
  • 12:57 What's In Your Life's Toolbox? Try Something New
  • 14:27 Guest LaTrina Rogers shares what she wishes parents knew
  • 17:44 Two Questions For You
  • bloopers 😆
  • 19:02 Still listening? 

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. Are you able to identify thoughts that don’t serve you throughout the day?
  2. Is there something you’ve been wanting to try?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

LaTrina Rogers, M.S. Ed: Website | Links | TikTok

LaTrina Rogers, M.S. Ed. is the Director of Residential Life at Ranken Technical College in St. Louis, MO. Driven by a passion for student success, she assists college students to find their voice for self advocacy and implement responsibility and independence while living on campus. A Student Affairs Professional with 19 years experience in higher education, LaTrina has worked in a variety of roles including Admissions, Academic Advising, Veterans Advising and currently Residence Life.

Her goal to encourage student independence led to the creation of her brand “The Dorm Mom”. LaTrina’s brand has launched with the goal of coaching parents to transition from leading their students to supporting them as they embark on independence while experiencing student housing on their college campus. She also writes for CollegiateParent a magazine and website for parents preparing their students to attend college.

Dedicated to encouraging and helping others, LaTrina serves the community with several organizations. She serves on the Board of Directors of Valeda’s Hope, a community support breast cancer organization. As the President of the Board of Advisors for The Hurston & Hughes Literary Circle, LaTrina supports the literary exposure to students of authors of the Black and Brown diaspora. LaTrina also served the American Heart Association in St. Louis over 15 years as a volunteer with the Multicultural Committee (Chair 2012-2014) and winner of the Community Impact Award. She is also a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.which serves the community based on its founding principles of Scholarship, Service, Sisterhood, and Finer Womanhood.

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 158

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #158. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though, all are welcome here, as I’m all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[up beat music]

00:00:53

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:22

Before we dive in, this is the first episode I have released since the June 24th Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe versus Wade, and I’d like to take a moment to address it. No, I don’t always share things like this here but this one, my inner guidance wouldn’t let go of. The Supreme Court’s decision stripped away the legal right to have a safe and legal abortion for all Americans by leaving this decision up to the states. Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans impacting us, our children and generations to come. This decision could also lead to the loss of other rights. To learn more about what you can do to help, visit podvoices.help you’ll find ways to get involved and other resources there. I encourage you to take care, speak up, and spread the word all from a place of love.

00:2:22

[jingle]

And now for the usual quick reminders:

First, you’ll find time markers in this episode’s full show notes, if you are looking for something specific or would like to hop around.

Second, you’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com or EmptyNestSuccess.com.

Reminder #3 If you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow it in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home. You may also join my Thursday Thoughts about email list where I’ll pop in your inbox with a thought and updates on most Thursdays. Those are the best ways to be notified when I release a new episode.

And finally, a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for that free account I mentioned - you’ll find it at EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also join the C.E.O. training team, or purchase other premium content.

00:03:30

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you are able to see and believe in an exciting future ahead, by allowing yourself permission to become YOU - to see opportunities you might normally miss.

If you are intrigued and want to dive a bit deeper into this topic, I have a short “What if” affirmation and worksheet related to this topic titled (Open Eyes - Empty Nest Success) available for you - see the show notes!

00:04:02

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

I added a membership option in the Empty Nest Success community. I’ll be breaking all future podcast episodes and the back catalogue, as I have time - into segments to make topics easier to find! Become a Your Empty Nest Coach podcast patron for access and a few other goodies including a podcast shout-out are included- join today for only $5/month!

Another new thing is you’ll find the podcast episodes that are parts of a series - curated now also in the Empty Nest Success community. Curated topics include - Empty Nest Syndrome, Empty Nest Prep, The C.E.O. of Your Life concepts, and more!

00:04:46

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

Sometimes things get easier the more you embrace them. Have you ever noticed that?

About six months ago, I said to myself, “What if I don’t keep my married last name?” I gave it some thought, and quickly poo-pooed the idea. Yeah, I said poo-poo.

A bit later, it popped in my mind again, at that time, I did a little online research and once I saw how much work is involved and that it could impact my credit score, I stopped considering it again. After all, I thought to myself, “Christine, it has already been a busy year, do we really need to add ANYTHING else into the mix?”

So, I let it go again.

Again, it came up and I couldn’t shake it… by now, though, I began to consider, “Okay, what would I change my name to?” And then it took courage to say what I was thinking out loud to someone - that I’m thinking about completely changing my current last name - I believe my daughter heard it first. Honestly, she was way more supportive than she needed to be but she’s also one of the most practical humans I know and someone who is extremely aware that her mother changing her name isn’t about her it is for her mother. - Yeah, I feel like I should wipe away the tears now.

I still wasn’t ready to commit to the change but began floating the idea a bit more as the weeks progressed. Even mentioned it to some others - who had a bit more push back on the topic - especially since I was planning on going with a brand new last name.

There was a lot of back and forth for me on the topic and then finally one day I woke up and thought, ”Yes, I’m gonna do it. I’m ready to put the finances behind it and do the paper work - ohhhhh the paperwork.

Then the waiting: Who do I tell? Anyone? Everyone? Does anyone want to be there with me at my court hearing? Should I ask anyone? Should I do it alone?

The last time I changed my name, there was a really big ceremony and party. And this time… what do I do?

Whoo. After working through my own thoughts and desires, navigating comfortably (though sometimes not so well) around other people’s reactions, getting fingerprinted, the criminal check, the searches on the name, two counties to go process it all through since I had recently moved, public notices in papers and many phone calls. Way too many phone calls, but the day finally arrives.

I head to my morning appointments to pick up final paperwork. Super easy - and the friendliest of people everywhere. I had a few hours before the hearing, so I treated myself to a lovely meal in one of my favorite lunch spots, I arrived super early and had this moment where I was the only one in this huge stone hallway of the courthouse. Big, wide, sterile feeling - a lot of marble and grey, if you can picture it. The kind where if you walk with heels - you hear the echo for seconds.

No one was there.

And in that moment, it hit me how clear the rest of my path was to get this done. No one was going to oppose the change. No one was ever in my way any more than I allowed them to be. I did this for me but I had to decide it was worth the joyous investment of my time to make this huge - and it is HUGE - change.

There I am: sitting in the hallway, processing all of this - thinking it would make a great episode.

And just as I was thinking about “if I could have anyone here with me, who WOULD it be?” At that moment, I heard the sound of a group of people chatting enter the hallway and head towards me. All to the courtroom I’m assigned to. All name changes. Every single person there with me in that moment understood the impact. Understood the paperwork, the emotions and the change. They were exactly who I needed with me. For an hour or so, we were all family. It was beautiful. All of us were changing our names for different reasons. All of us were nervous, and excited at the same time. We waited together, extended encouragement and celebratory words when the judge agreed to sign the court orders. I cried tears of joy for the others much easier than for me because when it was my turn I was in work mode. But it was amazing, and fantastic and lovely.

Just as you reach a destination in your life, understanding it’s only the beginning of what is next makes it fun.

Two days later I spent the day at the social security office, the DMV, notaries and more. All went so much better than expected. Despite being told by three people that day, that the DMV wasn’t gonna to give me a new license without x, y, and z.

And what is the lesson I learned? I already kind of said it with:

“No one was ever in my way any more than I allowed them to be.”

I’ll adjust that statement to:

No one was ever in my way more than I allowed them to be AND no one was ever in my way more than I was.

And how can we apply this to the empty nest?

Well, we often get in our own way with our thoughts. We spend hours and hours of time “worried and concerned for our kids, for our future, about choices and more” time that we could be focused instead on the things that bring us joy. After all, when is the last time you saw worry and concern, actually fix a problem? Think about it. Worry and concern: they mostly just seem to stir a pot of drama but there are some who do love the drama. If you aren’t one those humans, pay attention to your thoughts and where they are throughout the day - you’ll catch them in the strangest of places.

And when you do catch them, don’t add to the drama by being upset that you had the thought in the first place, or that you spent so much time thinking about it. Instead, try being thankful that you caught the thought before it spiraled. Be thankful that you have the opportunity to change it to a thought that allows you to feel better.

And the more thoughts you change, the clearer your path will become.

It’s all you, after all. You’ve got this and I’m cheering you on!

00:11:52

[computer game level up music (short)]

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, my kiddo is heading off to college in the fall. I am excited for them. People keep telling me, though, “just you wait - you are going to be a mess.” I’m not seeing it. Should I be concerned?

Simply? Nope.

If you need a little more, here you go: If you feel good right now, stay there! You may feel perfectly fine - even wonderful - through the transition and the empty nest years - or, it might hit you all of the sudden. Either way, your journey is YOUR journey. There is no right or wrong. There is, however, NOW. Now, this moment, this is all you do know for sure, so if you feel good now. Embrace it. Lean into it and let others spin their tales about how you might feel. That is their story to tell but for now, you are exactly where you need to be! Enjoy it!

00:12:57

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments and then also, do some deeper work, as needed. Today’s recommendation is a fun one and one that would be a top-of-the-toolbox item - it isn’t deeper level work - but it could turn into that, for sure.

What is it? It’ s to sign up for something you wouldn’t normally sign up for - something that maybe you needed to do a double-take when you read it or heard about it, or something that is a bit challenging but also something that you could imagine a version of yourself doing. It could be virtual or in-person. It could be something you pay for or something that’s free. Maybe it’s not an event but it’s reading a genre of book that you wouldn’t normally read. It really can be anything. Something that’s a stretch for you but also do-able.

For some of you, a warning, the goal is NOT to set out to become an expert. The goal is to see if you like it - and also what can you learn about yourself by trying it? Learning what motivates you - and what doesn’t. Learning what you enjoy doing - and what you don’t enjoy doing is incredibly valuable - it’s more information for that toolbox of yours!

I’d love to know what you try!

00:14:27

[computer game level up music (short)]

What I Wish My Parents Knew

I have a special guest for this segment, LaTrina Rogers, also known as The Dorm Mom on TikTok, where I believe I first connected with her. LaTrina shares with us today what she wishes parent knew. She is the Director of Residential Life at Ranken Technical College in St. Louis, Mo and she’s driven by a passion for student success. LaTrina’s full bio and link to her website will be - you guessed it - in my show notes. Be sure to connect with her and let her know you heard her segment here!

Things I wish parents knew from The Dorm Mom. I wish parents knew that teaching independence has to come with opportunities to be independent. And those opportunities can be done very early, by a student learning to complete an application by student learning to self advocate for resources that they need in school. Those things can be easily taught so that when they get older, for instance, the audience I work with are college students, when a student gets older, and they come to college, that parents should go from leading that student to supporting that student, meaning the students should be completed their own applications for housing, for college, for parking. Over my years in higher education, I have seen countless amounts of parents completing applications for their student. And I strongly encourage the parents to not do that, because it takes away the opportunity for their students to be independent. That student will have to answer questions when that parent goes home. And that student is now matriculating on a college campus. So it's very imperative they learn those little things. And that also gives them confidence in their independence. Allow your students to experience those little bumps of adversity that may come if they miss a deadline, if they don't show up on time, there are consequences to actions. And oftentimes parents tried to remove the consequences. But part of being independent and having freedom is that there's a responsibility to go with it. All of that is taught not just by instruction, but it's solidified by experience. And that independence, as you know, as a parent, as an adult, is beyond joyous especially for someone young and just experiencing it. So remember, take your student, from leading them to supporting them at the proper age, and also encourage independence by giving small opportunities for them to engage in it. You can empower your student to be great in so many things, and on so many levels. That's what I wish parents knew.

00:17:44

Two Questions for You

Question 1: Are you able to identify thoughts that don’t serve you, throughout the day?

and Question 2: Is there something you’ve been wanting to try?

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this episode please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Yes, all the goodies, links and resources are in my show notes. I’ll be back next month with a new episode.

Thank you for listening.

Thanks for being you. The world is incredibly lucky to have you here.

YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music]

00:18:37

[bloopers]

00:19:02

Still Listening?

I am aware that I didn’t tell you my new last name. It isn’t really a secret I just am still syncing everything behind the scenes. I did share the story with C.E.O. Training team members in a behind the scenes video. So, if you’re a member and curious, check out the video. It will be public everywhere soon enough and much of that story feels like it will be in my upcoming book.

[end music]

[end]

Posted on

145: Monday Motivation & My Wish For You Today 💚

145:  Monday Motivation & My Wish For You Today 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My wish for you today is that you have clarity in your life on what you need to do today. And I’m not talking about the 400 things in your mind that you need to accomplish all year, I’m talking about the handful of things that are do-able for today."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Monday Motivation & My Wish for You Today

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:04 My Wish for You Today & a New Exercise to Consider

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 145

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #145.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:04

[computer game level up music (short)]  

My Wish for you Today

My wish for you today is that you have clarity in your life on what you need to do today. And I’m not talking about the 400 things in your mind that you need to accomplish all year, I’m talking about the handful of things that are do-able for today. 

How about a 1-2-3 Exercise? 

Choose at least:

One thing for self-care

Two things that HAVE to be done and

Three small things that you have to get done to serve the tomorrow-you.

Make them small and do-able

If you are my age and you watched a lot of Sesame Street as a child, there was this song that had in it 1,2,3. I won’t sing it because I don’t own the rights to it, but as I was assembling this, that song flowed through my mind. 

So, a little bit more on each one of these.

00:01:51

ONE for self-care - it doesn't have to be a full on spa appointment, it could be you painting your nails. And if you have more time, don’t feel limited to one thing. 

TWO things that HAVE to be done. These I think of as the larger items such as for me, go to work and be productive at work - I could use the one-two three method within my work day as well. But Work and packing my Lunch would be two things that I would have under number two. 

And Three small things that serve tomorrow-you, again, SMALL THINGS. If you have extra time, great add things on but not until you do the three small things - I don’t want to limit you with examples but I’ll give you a few anyway. Maybe it is prep food for your lunch tomorrow, or layout your workout clothes for tomorrow, or call someone you have been needing to call. Don’t limit yourself in any of these categories. 

You determine them and make this exercise your own. 

It is Monday, it is a brand new day to start your day and week ahead. I’m excited to see what you do with it and I’m cheering you on. 

Happy Monday my beautiful friend. 

You are amazing!

Talk tomorrow. 

[end music]

Posted on

144: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Plan Your Week Ahead 💚

144: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Plan Your Week Ahead 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"It is really important to understand that in the empty nest adjustment, for most of us, there isn’t a switch that flips that designates when the empty nest happens. It can be a transition that takes months or years - sometimes decades - where we’re navigating our babies becoming independent adults and moving permanently out on their own. Some never reach that. The back and forth, the emotions that arise each time aren’t to be ignored, my friend. They deserve recognition and processing because each stage of this transition is progress - for you and for them. Remember to enjoy the journey, my friend."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Sunday Prep for Your Week Ahead

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:40 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 Personal Thoughts on Our Daughter's College Graduations
  • 04:10 Sunday Prep Work

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 144

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #144.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stand

s for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:40

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor.  

00:01:03

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Did you get to listen to my last two episodes? In them, I share ten things to keep in mind when your child graduates from high school. I’d love to know your thoughts on those, and what you’d add.

I’ve recorded this episode earlier in the week, and it is fun to think about our daughter’s high school graduation as this Sunday morning, I’ll be waking up to our daughter’s college graduation day. 

Over the last four years, she’s changed her majors and minors - sometimes by her choice and sometimes because of circumstances. She’s become independent enough to walk around alone for fun in a town that is multiple states away from home. She’s learned to advocate for herself - even more than she already had done - and she’s been reminded that no, everyone won’t necessarily jump on board when you stand up for yourself - be it for what you believe in or for your mental health - but to stay the course, take care of yourself, stay true to what you believe in and your core group of people will rise up. They’ll show who they are in your life. Some of these amazing humans will be in your life for only a season. Some will return, fences will mend, and others well, that season won’t be coming back. That’s okay too. She’s learned a whole bunch more but for now, I wanted to share some thoughts of where I am. 

If my daughter will have allowed it, I’ll have posted some photos on Instagram this past weekend, feel free to check it out. She’s a force to be reckoned with and I couldn’t be more proud of the bravery she’s had to head out to an out of state college knowing no one at the age of fourteen. No, it hasn’t been a cake-walk but she’s met true peers and friends for life who “get” her which is honestly, what I, as her mother, was hoping for. 

Little secret: I’ve asked her and her friends to pop on my podcast to talk about what it was like to attend college so early. We’ll see if I’m successful with that. I figure it might help someone with a decision - I kind of wish I had something like that - and for everyone else it should be super interesting.

Now, if you are a student listening to this...if you are about to graduate and are feeling a bit lost. Please know that it’s normal. Having doubts about everything? Also normal. Take it one step at a time, you’ve got this. I believe in you and for the record, I’m super proud of you whether you are my child or someone I’ve never met, I am cheering you on.

As for our daughter, she’ll be coming home for some time, and I’ll get to use my own tips on what to do when your child is home for a break - again, and for a bit. 

It is really important to understand that in the empty nest adjustment, for most of us, there isn’t a switch that flips that designates when the empty nest happens. It can be a transition that takes months or years - sometimes decades - where we’re navigating our babies becoming independent adults and moving permanently out on their own. Some never reach that. The back and forth, the emotions that arise each time aren’t to be ignored, my friend. They deserve recognition and processing because each stage of this transition is progress - for you and for them. Remember to enjoy the journey, my friend. 

00:04:13

[computer game level up music (short)] 

As for the Sunday prep work, I thought it would be nice to take a moment to think about our week ahead. 

Yes, right now… you might have a routine that you are used to, and that’s fantastic but I’d like to encourage you to take some time to do an extra little bit of planning this week. 

Yes seriously. Future-you will thank you. 

Think of three things you can accomplish this week that you don’t have on your radar. I’m talking about those things that sneak up on us - maybe it is looking at the next six weeks ahead to see if there is anything you can prep for now.  

For example, I have a colonoscopy coming up - I can make sure I have everything I need for that prep experience. 

Or you could look at birthdays or celebrations that are going on in the next two months and jot down thoughts on how to get ahead on those. 

Have a doctor appointment you are putting off? 

How about a small area you’ve been wanting to declutter? I said a small area. 

I use the three things method in my daily life and even in my work. It is incredibly helpful for me to assess the top three priorities for the day - often I get more than three done but it’s bonus then and it feels amazing. 

Try finding three things to help your future-self. Then get out your calendar or however you plan your days and schedule time to do them. 

Remember, you are gifting your future-self with this time. Just like the thought-delivery inventory we do, planning is work that is worth it. 

I’d love for you to share something you chose to add to your week ahead. 

If your week is off-the-charts busy, that is okay, this is simply a suggestion. If you are motivated by it, try it. Find moments to be thankful, to be present in and use those to reset you when things aren’t so great. 

Go get ‘em

You are amazing!

Talk tomorrow. 

[end music]

Posted on

143: 5 More Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

143: 5 More Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Yes, we’ll always be their parent and will jump in when needed, can offer advice and such but it is time for them to become who they are meant to be in this world, not who we want them to be."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: 5 More Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:04 5 More Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 143

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #143.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to contact me - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:04

[computer game level up music (short)]  

In my last episode I shared 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School. Today we’re going to talk about 5 More things, and of course, this list is not exhaustive. What would you add to these? 

We start today with

Number 5:  Is College in Their Future? Start Prepping Now.

If college is in your emerging adult’s future, they probably have decided on where they are headed. This is a great time to look for checklists for your kiddo - the dorm essentials of course, but also, what forms will you need to fill out, how will medical appointment works when they are away at college - should you need them, need new bedding - many dorm beds are not a standard twin size - check that now because they tend to become hard to find in August.  Also consider what foods can they stock in their dorm room to get them through study breaks and sickness. 

Number 4: Begin Transitioning into a Coaching Role.

Yes, we’ll always be their parent and will jump in when needed, can offer advice and such but it is time for them to become who they are meant to be in this world, not who we want them to be. Be their safe space, my empty nest friend. If their dreams are aligned with your dreams for them, that’s fantastic but more than likely that won’t happen. Work on your thoughts about their future and use those listening skills and ask when they want advice rather than demanding they do something because that is the way it should be. No one likes to be controlled like that and conversations always work better than demands. Your child is your child. Ideally, you love them no matter what career they choose, no matter who they choose to love, and how they choose to live their life. Lead with love and provide a safe space for them to figure their life out - for as long as you can. Do I really need to tell you that if their life is in danger, of course you are going to step in. But when you rarely step in, your actions and words will have a greater impact than if you just had a similar emotion about maybe their music choice. 

Number 3: Prepare for Change, Warning: Strong Emotions May be Ahead

You are in a transition now. Change is inevitable and just when you get used to one change, it’s going to change again. You know, just like parenting up until this point - it keeps going. Every time your child leaves home and moves back home, you have the opportunity to learn who they are all over again - to discover how they’ve changed. You could spiral into a ball of sadness over the younger years being gone, or you could notice when you have those moments of missing youth, tell yourself, “it’s okay I feel this way, but I don’t want to miss who is in front of me now.” and move forward. You’ve got this, you can handle it and yes, be aware that strong emotions may pop up when you least expect it. See those emotions, feel them and know you’ll get through them. I’m cheering you on! Enjoy the journey.

Number 2: Have fun!

With all of the celebration, the life skill learning, and adjusting to the transition it is easy to focus on the checklists but to miss having fun in the simple moments of life. Don’t miss those. Make time to have fun along the way.

Number 1: You’ve earned it.

My listener, raising a human is no joke. No one trains us for all of the things that you have had to navigate over the years. Sure we have resources we can find if we have access to them. Sometimes we have great parents, friends or mentors that help out but in the end, you did the daily grind, the feedings, the sleepless nights, the navigation of a school system, the anxiety over how they might be treated, and well, I could list things for the next day and I wouldn’t be done. My friend, you’ve earned a celebration for yourself - maybe not a party - but definitely do something to commemorate their graduation for you. Well done. No, you aren’t done parenting but you made it this far and keep in mind it isn’t guaranteed to us as parents to experience this moment for a plethora of reasons. Be grateful, be proud and be you while allowing your child to be them. Congratulations, you’ve earned it. 

[music]

00:05:32

I’ll be back tomorrow to share some thoughts about our daughter’s college graduation and we’ll also talk about resetting ourselves, since it’s Sunday, for the week ahead. Remember, I have 142 other episodes available for you to catch up on or relisten to when you are possibly driving, doing chores or taking a walk.

My amazing empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

Posted on

142: 5 Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

142: 5 Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I know you have a million things you want to tell your child to make sure they are prepared for what’s ahead but don’t lose listening to their hopes and dreams as you navigate this transition."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!ere...

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Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 142

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #142.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

==================================================

00:01:03

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Here are your 5 things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School - I’ll share 5 more in my next episode!

I’m gonna count down from ten.

10: This is a Big Deal - and I have ten things to say about this.

10. You raised a Human

9. You Learned A Lot About Parenting

8. You Learned A Lot about Yourself

7. You Cleaned a Lot of Messes  both Physical & Emotional

6. Not a Milestone Everyone Reaches, Sadly

5. You’ve Experienced the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

4. Driving Lessons? If you got through those, those are No Joke.

3. You’ve had to Re-Learned Topics that your Child's Doing in School and You Did Year's Ago

2. You Spent A Little Bit of Money and number

1. And Made it to a New Level in Life

Isn’t that fun? When you have a countdown, and then have a countdown within a countdown?

[small giggle]

Okay, no more of that.

00:002:00

Number 9 out of Things to Remember as your Child Graduates from High School is to Celebrate it!

Whether the celebration is big or small, it’s worth celebrating. I don’t necessarily mean, this has to be a huge party. Think about how not only how your emerging adult can celebrate but also how you can celebrate. This is a milestone, and it doesn’t need to be all food truck in the driveway, magazine quality decor type of thing. You could decide to do a project together that commemorates this moment - one for both of you. Maybe spend a day going through photos of their childhood and seeing what ones they might like in a photo book or frame for their life ahead. Are they moving out tomorrow? Probably not, but for most of us that day arrives and the last thing we are thinking about in that moment is, what photos does my kiddo want for the future? What should I make sure they have? If you don’t have many photos - this is a reality for some -  it would be a good time to talk about big memories and to document them. Maybe having a day or two set aside for that with music and favorite snacks - that sounds like a fun celebration to me. 

If you are into the big parties and can do that - enjoy that - that is how you enjoy celebrating and both ways are valuable. 

00:03:12

Number 8: Appreciate Growth

Some of these may sound like they’re the same - but while this could be celebrating, in my mind, it’s a little different. Taking the time to reflect not only on how much your child has grown but also how much you have grown as a human is a gift worth giving yourself. I’m not talking about height only here - I’m talking about emotional growth, maturity, taking time to try things to discover if they are a good fit for your life - and again, this is for both you as a parent and  child. Think back to the first day they came home with you - who you were as a human and who you are now is different. Would past-you even recognize you now? This is a super fun exercise, by the way. If it brings you down, don’t do it, just let it go. 

00:03:59

Number 7: Look at Life Skills

More than likely one day your kiddo will be moving out of your home. For some of us it is sooner than later - and for others we wonder when they will ever leave. Remember everyone has a different path for their life but this is a great time to take stock on life skills that they could use moving forward. Do you still book their medical appointments for them? Do you order and pick up their prescriptions? Do you remind them to take their prescriptions? Do they have any idea about how to manage their money - or how much rent would cost? Do they understand how credit cards really work? How to make some meals for themselves? You know, all those things that you need to survive day to day. 

00:04:43

Number 6: Listen

Remember to listen to your incredible child now. If they are heading somewhere in the fall (or sooner), you won’t have this luxury soon. I know you have a million things you want to tell your child to make sure they are prepared for what’s ahead but don’t lose listening to their hopes and dreams as you navigate this transition. You’ll learn so much about them, and practice this early. Things like, “What a fun idea, how do you think that will work?” type of questions, rather than statements that shut down their sharing. 

[music]

I’ll be back tomorrow to complete my list of ten things to remember as your child graduates from high school - yes, I’ll share five more things. Remember, I have 141 other episodes available for you to catch up on or relisten to when you are driving, doing chores or taking a walk.

My amazing empty nest friend, a little birdie reminded me that you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

00:05:44

[blooper]

[end music]

[end]


Posted on

141: GPS Reset Exercise & DeCluttering on Clubhouse (The Daily Experiment) 💚

141: GPS Reset Exercise & DeCluttering on Clubhouse (The Daily Experiment) 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I thought it would be fun to share a GPS Reset exercise with you, today. These are small resets to ground you for your day ahead. Listen, participate and speak out loud if you feel led to do so."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: a GPS Reset Exercise & DeCluttering on Clubhouse

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:46 Quick Reminders
  • 01:08 A GPS Reset Exercise
  • 04:45 Find us on Clubhouse

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 141

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #141.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:46

Some quick reminders: You’ll find tons of information to your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:08

[computer game level up music (short)]  

A GPS Reset Exercise

Friday mornings you can find me and Deirdre Dolan Nesline of the Magnificent Aging podcast co-hosting (or moderating) a room titled DeCluttering in the Empty Nest. We do our best to stick to 15-minutes and call it a flash talk. 

I begin the session with a GPS Reset Exercise and Deirdre then shares one tip with us that we can do over the weekend to begin to declutter our homes. Deirdre is full of energy and inspiration. I like to say, she works on decluttering our homes and I work on helping us to declutter our minds. It is a great match. 

I thought it would be fun to share a GPS Reset exercise with you, today. These are small resets to ground you for your day ahead. Listen, participate and speak out loud if you feel led to do so. 

If you are somewhere safe where you can stop what you are doing, take a deep breath in [pause] and breathe out. Go ahead.

And I invite you now to notice something in your surroundings that you DIDN’T notice a moment ago.

Take another deep breath in [pause] and out. 

That “something” you noticed a moment ago, I want you to experience it a bit more - to dive deeper into its presence in your life: maybe notice its color, or a tone if it’s something you hear. Think about how you might describe it to someone who doesn't know what that thing is? Does it cause a sensation in your body? If you were to touch it, how would it feel? 

[PAUSE]

Take another deep breath in [pause] and out. 

And again, notice that thing deeper.

Your mind may be quieter now than it was a moment ago. 

Notice, if you are left with a strong thought, or a strong emotion. Maybe it’s a physical feeling? 

Then analyze: Do you love it? Do you want to keep that?   Consider this. Be curious about it in a LOVING WAY, and use this GPS reset exercise throughout your day. 

I invite you now to take another deep breath in and out.

If you would like, repeat these words that I'm about to say to yourself aloud or silently in your mind:

I am an amazing human capable of incredible things: whether it’s decluttering my house, diving deeply into who I am, taking on a new project, or getting out of bed when I don’t want to. I remind myself now that my worth isn’t based on how cluttered, or cluttered-free my house is  but today I consider the impact that a little more space in my life will bring to me. I’ll start (or continue), with one small thing. I am amazing. 

00:04:45

[computer game level up music (short)]  

My listener, if you would like to join Deirdre and I on Friday mornings, connect with me on Clubhouse - we’d love to have you join us. She’s shared tips on decluttering your kitchen, your cleaning supplies and much more. We also wrap up the room each week by celebrating our wins together. 

I’ll be back tomorrow to share ten things to keep in mind when your child graduates from high school. Don’t forget that I have 140 other episodes available for you to catch up on or re-listen to when you are driving, doing chores or maybe taking a walk.

I’ve already told you this today but you should hear it again, you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

Posted on

140: Wednesday Wins, What I Wish My Parents Knew & More (The Daily Experiment) 💚

140: Wednesday Wins, What I Wish My Parents Knew & More (The Daily Experiment) 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a recent win of yours: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? Now imagine that you look up into the sky (pretend you're outside on a clear day - if you aren’t) and you look up just in time to catch a small aircraft that has a sign behind it. That sign says, “I’m so proud of you - keep going - you are worth it.""

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Celebrating You & Your Wins and How to Prepare for College

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:44 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 03:28 Win Note from Coach Christine
  • 04:15 What I Wish My Parents Knew: How To Prepare for College
  • 05:16 My Question for You
  • 06:06 Bloopers

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 140

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #140.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:44

Some quick reminders: You’ll find information to most of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:03

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

My win? I’m back to eating healthier in a way that serves my body well, and that feels good. 

As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

Our Instagram family shared wins but only one gave me the okay to share here - and that is from our friend Katherine in New Zealand she’s the5kilotraveller, and she shared, “I gained more clarity around what’s important for me on this 5 kilo travel adventure. I need to stick to my guns that I’m into inspiring and encouraging and not fear based marketing.” 

Side note from Coach Christine: YES, Please! We need more of this in the world.

And for our TikTok family…

Sunny day shared, “No school today so got extra sleep and had water and ate a meal.” and later they shared, “Have a day off from school so gonna take some time for myself. 

Chelsea, “just committed to Grand Valley State University for college!”

Mariadoor, “My fourth and youngest child just passed his driving test! I consider this my win as well as his because I survived teaching 4 kids how to drive.”

I have one and we still haven’t gotten there so I’m super impressed. My listener, I tried something with that group of wins and responded to each one of them with a video on TikTik. It was super fun - it kind of had a Cameo feel - and they are all there for you to see if you want to check them out.

Continuing with our TikTok wins:

Kelsea shared, “ I just put my deposit in at college! I’ll be going to UVic in the fall!” 

Pure. pixiedust - one of my favorite accounts to follow - shared, “I finally found a job I feel good at and I’m surrounded with accepting people. It rocks!”

HIllary - our Life Organization friend shared, “I was promoted to director at work!”

Jana’s win is, “I’m getting ready to put my college deposit down because I’m graduating a year early!!!!!” 

Angelica “submitted her auditions”

Jillian started a new job - and hasn’t worked in 5 years due to illness.

Hola, “made it through the day.” 

Avery was “invited to play in the soccer tournament with a new team.”

00:03:28

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a recent win of yours: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? Now imagine that you look up into the sky (pretend you're outside on a clear day - if you aren’t) and you look up just in time to catch a small aircraft that has a sign behind it. That sign says, “I’m so proud of you - keep going - you are worth it.” 

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - and you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram: just add the microphone emoji.

00:06:38

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

This one is related to your child heading to college:

My TikTok audience asked me how to best prepare for the college transition. I created a hotline video about this - to be honest, this could be an all-day seminar but I chose to focus on having them create a list of all the things that their parent does for them on a daily basis - things that parents won’t be able to do once college begins. You know things like food, laundry (mask washing), prescription refills, are you possibly your child’s alarm - if they are heading to campus, you won’t be there to do these things in the fall, that means it benefits your child now to take inventory of these things now - make an actual list - and then work on backing off on these items because to suddenly lose them all in the fall can be a bit of a shock with all the other changes in their life - and in your life. I’ll link my video in the show notes if you want to use it as a discussion starter for you as a family. Enjoy the transition, my amazing friend!

00:05:17

[happy music (short)] 

My Question for You:

What tip would you tell someone heading to college?

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I’ll be back tomorrow to share a reset exercise with you - I call these the GPS reset exercises. You also have 139 other episodes to catch up on or for you to relisten to when you are driving, maybe doing chores or taking a walk.

Did you hear the news? My beautiful friend, you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

[blooper]

Posted on

117: It is FAFSA time & Let’s Talk About College Breaks 📅

117: It is FAFSA time & Let's Talk About College Breaks 📅

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

If you have a child in college, and they'll continue to be a college student next year, it is time to complete the FAFSA! 

It is also time to think about winter break. 

Whether they were on-campus or not, I've got you covered in this episode as, it isn't always a party when they return home. 🎈

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Your child will be different when they return home, whether it is their first semester in college or their fourth. I can’t tell you exactly how they’re going to be different, but I can tell you they will be different."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙The podcast episode in which I remind you that the #FAFSA is open, and we talk about how to prepare for the upcoming college breaks. 💚 #CollegeParents #CollegeBreaks  #EmptyNest  #Podcast #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestSyndrome 

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A Reminder that The FAFSA is Open for the 2021-2022 School Year
  • Things to Consider for the Upcoming College Breaks - Even if Your Student is Home!

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you need to complete the FAFSA?
  2. Are you ready for the upcoming college break?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Yes! Show Me My Options

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 117 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine.  This is my podcast.  It’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and you are now listening to episode number 117.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes.  Should you feel a bit lost, use my show notes for best places to begin.  In this episode, I talk about the FAFSA and how to prepare for college breaks, whether your child is currently on-campus or not.

00:00:28  

I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

My future empty nest friend, and Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO, of your life, how are you doing today?  Holy cow, there is a chance that this episode may be analogy-free.  Can I even do that?  Show notes for this episode have links to anything I discuss that is linkable, and of course, you’ll find all sorts of fun stuff, and ways to work with me on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  If you enjoy this episode, I invite you to subscribe to this podcast, and to consider joining the GPS Support Flock.  What is that?  I’m so glad you asked; take a listen.  

00:01:41

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:28  

This is a bit of an informational episode.  Use it as a reference and don’t be afraid to pop back here again, if need be, or to pause it for later.  First up, I’d like to remind you that, yes, is it FAFSA time.  This will be important to you if you are in the U.S., and your child plans to attend college in the upcoming school year.  I get that a lot of things are up in the air, but if you think there is a chance they’ll attend, I recommend doing the FAFSA.  It can’t hurt.

 00:02:54 

I’ve heard people say, “Oh no, it’s FAFSA time.  I hate doing the FAFSA. It’s awful.” I have to admit, while the result from the FAFSA doesn’t usually make me want to jump up and down with excitement, the process of actually completing it isn’t too bad.  The FAFSA is going to be as awful as you allow your mind to let it be.  So choose.  I use, “It’s FAFSA time; I’m excited to be done with it.”  It works.

 00:03:19 

If you have never done the FAFSA before, you’ll need to get the IDs first.  A parent will need one, and your student will need one.  Once you have the ID’s, you then have the actual form to complete.  All of this is available via studentaid.gov. I don’t recommend paying someone else to do the FAFSA for you.  It’s rare that this would be needed.  I’d set aside 15 minutes to create the IDs and then 30 minutes to do the FAFSA.  Both I think are padded generously, but just in case, that’ll give you a ballpark idea of how long it takes.

 00:03:51 

The FAFSA is completed every year your child is in college, so it’s good to make friends with it, if they’ll be attending.  It will pull your tax information from a prior year, so have that info handy in case it doesn’t import automatically.  You’ll find plenty of videos and free tutorials if you run into problems.  I’m not a financial aid advisor.  I’m a mom who has a daughter in her senior year, so I’ve done it four times now.

 00:04:16 

You’ll get a confirmation email in a few days that confirms it was processed and there will be an EFC number.  That number doesn’t have a dollar sign, it’s simply digits.  It represents the amount of money that the government believes you can afford to pay for your child’s education for the next year.  That’s one year.  Be prepared for this number to be more than you’d expect.  I recommend sitting down.

 00:04:39

The colleges your child applies to will use this number in determining financial aid available to them, including government loans.  Every college’s financial aid package will be different, so weigh their options carefully.  Also, consider all four years.  Look at the fine print on the awarding, to be sure you and your child are comfortable with where they’ll land before making any firm decisions.  Long story short, it’s FAFSA time and if your child plans for college next year, put it on your radar to complete in the near future, if you haven’t already.  That is my friendly reminder. 

 00:05:12

Now let’s talk about college breaks.  You may know I’ve been having a lot of fun creating Reels on Instagram.  I’m even teaching some women now, how to become comfortable with them.  Lately, I’ve been taking some information from the podcast and putting it into these little 15-second to 30-second Reels, so I am doing a series within the Reels.  Currently, one is about college breaks and how you should prepare as a parent for college breaks.  I am going to talk about both, if your child has been on campus and if your child has not.  You may gain something out of both, but if you want to jump to one section, check my show notes for time markers. 

 00:05:48

For those of you whose child has been on-campus:

First, be prepared for a routine change, again. When your child left for college, your routine in the household changed and it impacted everyone, even the pets.  When your college-student returns home, they’ll be used to the old routine and the rest of you won’t, so be prepared for change.  Second, expect them to be tired.  They have been going nonstop while they are away, and even if they had less activities than anyone expected, due to being on a campus with physical distancing, trust me, the emotional toll of being in that environment is exhausting and they more than likely couldn’t stop.  They had to keep going.  So the moment they cross the threshold of your home, wherever you live, they are going to feel like their five-year-old self safe and comfortable, whether that’s where they lived when they were five or not.  I know, some of you are going to get technical with me there.  But hopefully, they know they feel safe here.

 00:06:44 

Expect them to be really tired, expect them to go into this decompress mode.  They more than likely won’t be planning it.  It will be something that happens.  They may not even be aware they need it.  Don’t be surprised if they disappear for two days in their room which, you know, maybe they should be quarantining anyway.  If they don’t, so be it.  But if they do, I don’t want you to be surprised.  I warned you.  Third, set some expectations.  We already talked about how routines will be off-kilter a bit again.  Take some time now, ahead of time to think about how your routine before they left is different from how it is now.  Do you want it all to go back to the way it was?  Is there something new that you want to make sure doesn’t change?  Address it now.  Maybe you don’t want to do their laundry.  Set those expectations before they get home, but also be okay if their laundry doesn’t get washed on day one, unless you set that expectation.  Get the idea?

 00:07:33

You also may want to check in with them and ask them what they’re really looking forward to, in case that’s something you could do without.  Remove the tension later.  Take the time to be curious about what you love now and what you want to stay.  Have fun with this and get creative.  By looking at this early and addressing it, will remove some tension on your time together.  So think ahead and figure out what, if anything, should be addressed.  

 00:07:59 

Fourth, your child will be different when they return home, whether it’s their first semester in college or their fourth.  I can’t tell you exactly how they’re going to be different, but I can tell you they will be different.  Independence changes a person in all sorts of ways.  Take the opportunity to get to know them all over again.  Remove your assumptions about who they were and get to know who they are now.

 00:08:23 

My next tip is for both parents whose college-student has been on-campus and for parents who have had their child home.  Take some time to celebrate where you are today and that you’ve made it to a milestone, and you should take some time to celebrate.  It doesn’t need to be a huge celebration.  I have a minimalist mindset, so I’d celebrate with a walk to get coffee, or a specifically chosen movie night, with maybe some special food.  But this is your celebration, make it what works for you and your family.  Give yourself a pat on the back for navigating all of your emotions through this semester.  Make sure you also tell your child how proud you are of them.  If you are having trouble finding this, take some time to really look.  You’ll find it.  Celebrate. 

 00:09:07

If your child did not move out of your home for this semester, here are a couple of tips I have for you.  First, if you haven’t already, talk about the spring semester.  Discuss the options available for your student, if there are any.  If an option to move-on campus suddenly arrives, is that something they’d want to do?  Do they definitely want to stay home again?  Is there anything they would like to have different, if they do stay home?  The same question for you.  If they want to go back to campus, take the opportunity to be curious about the emotions and thoughts that arise in you.  Provide them a safe space to share.  I’d also recommend having this conversation or conversations outside of the celebration space.  Celebration is for celebration.  It’s also okay to celebrate even if you don’t know what is next, in case somebody needs that permission.  More than likely you aren’t sure of all of your options, yet.  But have fun exploring what they could be and what life might be like if you have them available. 

 

00:10:08

Second, take the opportunity to notice if anything has changed about your child this semester.  Yes, even while at home.  They may not have been able to experience the level of independence that attending classes on campus would have given them, but take a moment to notice the child in your home, that they would have returned different.  Where do your thoughts go?  Are you happy they’re still at home?  Happy for the extra time?  Are you bummed for them, that they didn’t get to experience the on-campus life?  If so, add “yet” to the end of that statement and how does that feel? 

 00:10:41

I’ll be honest, my child went to campus.  I may not be able offer much here, but I’d love to know how you feel, if this is you.  Do you have tips, tricks, thoughts for other parents in your situation?  If so, I’d love to share them with my audience on social media.  I’m done recording episodes for 2020, otherwise I’d slide it into an upcoming episode.  But if you email me at Christine@youremptynestcoach.com or message me on Instagram, @emptynestcoach, I’d love to share.  Oh, I also could add this in my monthly email, or of course, the flock!  Yes, yes.  You should join the flock.

[Music]

00:11:18

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, do you need to complete the FAFSA?  And, two, are you ready for the upcoming college break?  As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.  My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  My next episode’s title is: The Benefit of Taking Time Off.  This one is listener requested.

00:11:44

Are you able to screenshot this episode right now?  If so, take a minute to do that and then to share it on social media to help others find it.  That would be incredibly helpful.  Be sure to tag me @emptynestcoach so I may personally thank you.  Happy FAFSAing and prepping for that upcoming college break!  You, my empty nest friend, are amazing!

[Bloopers]

00:12:52

Still listening? 

This semester has been odd. We usually only see our daughter once prior to Thanksgiving, if we are lucky.  She’s a few states away.  But this is her senior year, and she has her senior art show and thesis, and we can’t go.  It totally makes sense.  Hubby and are good with it.  We don’t need to be on the college campus, but it’s yet another thing that who would have thought we wouldn’t be doing this year.  Have you had any of these moments lately?

[Music]

[End]

Posted on

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 Featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, Author and a Family Physician Focused on College Student Health

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, MD

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

If your child is scheduled to head back to campus in four to six weeks, you may have questions about how to best prepare for campus during COVID.

In this episode, I have great fun chatting with Dr. Jill about this topic. We talk about forms, checklists, favorite chapters of her new book, and so much more!

Her book, The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook, Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness, is the perfect reference book for both you and your child. I give it my five happy chick rating, and I invite you to  listen to the full episode. 

We created the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist! Click here or the image below to print your copy now. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Podcast episode!🎙 Is your college student heading back to campus in a few weeks? @JillGrimesMD and @emptynestcoach have some tips for you! 💚 #CollegeParent #EmptyNest #CollegeLife #CollegeStudent #FallSemester #BackToCampus

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What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Learn how Dr. Jill became an author and an on-campus health provider
  • What forms Dr. Jill plans to complete ahead of time for her college-aged daughters
  • Student health care center tips and advice
  • The moment we came up with the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist
  • And more!

Where to Find Dr. Jill Grimes Online

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Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you picked up Dr. Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?   
  2. What question do you wish I had asked Dr. Jill?

Episode Resources

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 103 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for a Different Campus. This is Part 2 of 2, featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, author, and a family physician focused on college student health. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:00

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! In this episode, I welcome Dr. Jill Grimes to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am crazy excited to have her here. I have read her book: “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness.” It is fabulous. I’m going to keep the copy I have for myself and pick up another one for my daughter. Yes, it’s that good. Speaking of my daughter, I asked her to take a look at my copy of Dr. Jill’s book. My daughter’s comment was, “This book will be great to have in my dorm room, especially as a peer RA, as residents may have concerns that I don’t know anything about.”

00:01:46 

Well done, Dr. Jill, on creating one of the few resources that when I shared with my daughter, I didn’t get the “Okay, Mom” eye roll. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.  No, my friend, I’m not immune to it either.

 

00:02:01

Dr. Jill Grimes is a nationally recognized medical media expert, award-winning author, medical editor, and Board-Certified Family Physician.  Her passion is prevention.  After two decades of private practice, Dr. Grimes now enjoys seeing patients part-time at the University of Texas in Austin.  What you, my listener will be interested in is that she is also a proud mom to two awesome collegiate daughters.

00:02:29

I don’t think I could find a more perfect guest for this podcast at this particular time.  My daughter’s scheduled to head back to college in four weeks, so this is timely for me, as well.  Dr. Jill’s book is a wonderful reference book containing topics such as sunscreen, tattoos, hangovers, the “missing” tampon, nose bleeds, and so much more.  You know that first aid kit I mentioned in the last episode?  Dr. Jill’s book has a Bonus Section about your DIY First Aid Kit.  You have to check it out for yourself.  I give this book my highest rating, five happy chicks! 

 

00:03:09

At the end of this episode, I’m also going to give you a couple of follow up things that Dr. Jill and I talked about offline after the recording.  She has a blog, media interviews and more on her website, so I encourage you to dive into those to learn more about amazing Dr. Jill.  Also, if you find you wish I asked her other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them in as an audio message or email, and we’ll see if we can get them answered on an upcoming episode!  I’ll be asking her a handful or so of questions today.

 

00:03:40 

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 103 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P103). I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:04:30

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:05:16

Christine:  Welcome to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, Dr. Jill Grimes.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much for having me.  I’m thrilled to be here.

Christine:  I’m thrilled to have you here today, and I love that your daughter is the illustrator of your book.  Now, was that something that you had planned all along, or did it just happen to work out?

Dr. Jill:  Oh, my goodness, I am just thrilled that it worked out.  No, it was not something I planned all along.  In fact, I just didn’t think a publisher would agree to that, because they have in-house artists.  What happened is, my daughter, I’ve been asking her to draw pictures and sketches for my medical presentations for years now, because that way I don’t have to worry about copyrights.  She’s done them; I’m not stealing anyone’s ideas, and besides that, I can make it look how I want to make it look.  She was doing that, and when I submitted my book proposal, I submitted her pictures along with it.  They said, well, is she available to be the illustrator, and I’m like, yes.  I’m thrilled.  It worked out great.

Christine:  I love that so much, and I identify with it, because I’ve also had my daughter make drawings for me, for the same reason.

Dr. Jill:  Yes, it’s super convenient.  I will say, in fairness to my daughter, she had actually already had a job at her university.  She attends Loyola Marymount University in LA, and she got a job as an illustrator for their press.  She had already had that work experience which certainly gave her a leg up in getting the job.

Christine:  That’s excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Proud mom brag.  I’m allowed.

Christine:  Yeah, go her.  That’s awesome.  Well, I’ve already taken the liberty of introducing you to my listener already, so if it’s okay with you, I’d like to jump right into my questions for you.  Are you good with that?  

Dr. Jill:  Outstanding. Absolutely.

Christine:  Awesome.  So what brought you to where you are today, working part-time, writing books, serving college patients?

Dr. Jill:  My path has been a little bit unusual.  So, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, from the time I was very little.  Neither of my parents were doctors.  My dad was a professor, and my mom was a mom, and a fabulous one.  They told me I could anything and be anything, and I wanted to be a doctor, and I did become one.  I started off with my own private practice, which I loved, but unfortunately, my mother developed Alzheimer’s and at the same time, our kids were very young, and it was just too much.  There’s only so many hours in the day, so I went to part-time, and then, a few years later, I’m like, no, it’s still too much running my own practice, even with another physician.  And so, I stopped my own practice, and went to work for someone else, where I could just walk in, be the doctor, walk out, and not have to hire and fire staff, and do all of that, and that was great.  Meanwhile, I ended up writing my first book, and I sort of naïvely thought as a doctor I could write a book, and the publisher would take it and go put in bookstores and it would sell, and I would keep being a doctor and that’s how it would go.  They said, no, that’s not how it works.  So, I ended up becoming a media person, and doing a lot of radio and some television, and speaking to larger groups and that was, you know, part of my career.  So, I stayed part-time, and I’m also that “Girl Scout Mom.”  So, I was the Girl Scout leader, and then in a national charity league, which was a mother/daughter service organization.  I loved being super involved.  Our daughters both danced.  I was the team photographer.  So as you can see, like many of us, I like doing a lot of different things, and I’m not the primary breadwinner.  My husband is.  He is also a physician.  In our family, it worked for me to stay part-time, and then, after getting into this book writing thing, and I’m realizing I had more books in me that I wanted to do.  I want to just be even more part-time, and as our kids went off to college, I’ve always been involved with their friends and their age group, so it was a really natural fit for me to work in a college setting.  And I live in Austin, and the University of Texas, I had worked there just you know helping out occasionally over the years for many years, and they needed me.  I wanted to be there, and so I’m very part-time there, but it’s wonderful ‘cause it works for both of us.

Christine:  That’s fantastic.

Dr. Jill:  Kind of a long answer, sorry.

Christine:  No, I love those answers.  More for us to get to know you.  

Dr. Jill:  There you go.

Christine:  It’s also, as you’re talking, I’m like, she’s so perfect for us to listen to right now.   And a total slacker in the mom department, that’s sarcasm.  So, I know you have at least one daughter heading back to campus in the fall?

Dr. Jill:  Two.  I have two.  One’s in grad school, and she’s in Saint Louis at Wash U, and then the younger one is a Loyola Marymount.

Christine:  Awesome.  So, with them going back to college, or I guess, the grad school, she’s there already, probably?  Right?  Is she there yet?

Dr. Jill:  Actually, no.  She’s remote also, unfortunately.

00:10:14

Christine:  Okay, so, this question works.  Okay.  Awesome.  So, as a doctor, wear your doctor hat more, and parent hat a little bit, what’s your biggest concern with your children heading back to campus, in our current pandemic?  And is there anything you’re doing in preparation for that?

Dr. Jill:  Well, it’s a little hard to sort out, because obviously I wear the different hats.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  But honestly, one of my concerns is just that COVID is going to be tying up the healthcare system so much, that I want to be sure that our girls are even more prepared than usual, to take care of all their non-COVID health issues.  Of course, I’m a text away for them, and that’s great, but particularly the younger one, out in LA, does not have a car and so I want to make extra sure that her college first aid kit is super well stocked, because if, you know, she’s got a cough, well, then I’m going to be worried about COVID.

Christine:  Right.  I know.

Dr. Jill:  But still, but if she has a cough from just having allergies --

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  -- I want to make sure that she’s got more on hand and understands when she’s supposed to use what.  We have spent a little bit of time already this summer, talking about some of those different things, and you know, when is it appropriate to access the healthcare system and all of that.  Obviously, with COVID, everything is different and honestly, my biggest challenge has been finding them a new thermometer, because, you know, you can’t find thermometers.  They’re sold out.

Christine:  I somehow got some on Amazon.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.

Christine:  I must have gotten really lucky.  

Dr. Jill:  Yes.

Christine:  I can’t find disinfecting wipes.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  It’s a challenge.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  I’ve always been a proponent of the digital oral thermometers, and that’s what I was looking for.  Now, they have all the no-touch infrared ones, and I am assuming that they are relatively accurate.  The things that have the roller on them, that it rolls across the forehead, those are not accurate.  

Christine:  Oh, good to know.

Dr. Jill:  The ear ones are mostly accurate.  I haven’t seen any great studies on the accuracy of the other ones, which is of course, what everyone is relying on, as we move forward with COVID.

Christine:  Yeah.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  There’s some different challenges this year, but I think the biggest one is going to be the ability to access the healthcare system when they need it, because the healthcare system is going to be tied up with COVID.

Christine:  That’s a really good point.  It’s interesting, because I was just reading, in my daughter’s school’s policy and procedure.  If you think you have COVID, because we started talking about this, you go to the health center, at her school, they’ll do contact tracing, and they’ll do a test for her.  And that’s her school, I know they’re all a little different.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  But what we were talking about is that then she’ll move, like say she tests positive, she moves to an off campus --

Dr. Jill:  To a quarantine.

Christine:  -- and I said, you know, I think we should think about this.  What if that happens?  You’re not going to have much notice.  It’s kind of like you’re pregnant, and you need that bag, or at least the list.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  Exactly.

Christine:  ‘Cause you’re not going be able to go back to your dorm room --

Dr. Jill:  No.

Christine:  -- during this time.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  So, the one thing that’s a little different is that if they’re going to go -- I want to say, for the listeners, in general, most of the health centers are not going to say to go there.  They’re going to say you need to call first, and that’s an actual phone call, not just a text and getting an appointment online.

Christine:  Good point.

Dr. Jill:  Because they want to talk with you through the triage nurses, and make sure that you’re coming in the right entrance, and you know, all the schools are going to handle this a bit differently.  But almost all of them that I’m aware of, start with a phone call, which is not something our college kids are necessarily used to doing.

Christine:  No, not at all.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  Second thing is, when you go, whether you’re going to a hospital or whether you’re going to a clinic, be sure you take your electronic chargers with you.  Because once you go into isolation, that’s going to be your connection, and you’re going to need your charger.  That’s something that ordinarily, kids don’t always pack those in their backpack automatically.  They’ll have their phone; they always have their phone, but you need the charger, too, and not just the portable.

Christine:  Yeah.  We need a list.  Let’s do a list.

Dr. Jill:  It’s a good idea.  We should do a list.  I agree.

Christine:  We’re going to do a list, listener.  We’re going to have that available, because I think you’re going to have your own special list, but I think having a starting point would be really good.  We’ll talk offline, if that’s okay, Dr. Jill.

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  

Christine:  Excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.  Absolutely.

Christine:  Okay.  Here’s my next question, those of us who already have our children in college, should have already thought of this, but sometimes we don’t.  Are there any medical forms or processes, that we as college parents, should have already filled out, that maybe we didn’t think about.  I know there’s some things with age, like sometimes they don’t even have to tell us as parents, things that happen.  Are there any pitfalls that you see in college patients with the process?

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  So let me start by saying, again, I have a graduate student, and a rising senior in college.  I have never filled out forms in advance, so this is new for all of us, and with COVID, I actually think it is a good idea to go ahead and fill out, there are a couple of forms, each school will probably have their own HIPAA release.  HIPAA is the privacy act forms.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  And so there’s a release of information and you can check on your child’s -- not child, your young adult.

Christine:  I say child.  Aren’t they always our children?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah, they’re still our babies.  They’re babies.  Anyway, you can check on their university’s website, and see if they have a specific form, or you can go to -- I know there’s several online paraform organizations, like one is called Mama Bear forms, and I’m not speaking for them; I have not used them myself, but I know I’m aware of many people who have.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  I understand it’s about $50 to get two forms, and one is the release and the other is the medical power of attorney, and that would be important if your child, who is 21, or whatever, anything over 18, if they were unconscious in a hospital, unable to make decisions on their own.  This would really smooth things out paperwork wise, if you had this already filled out and notarized ahead of time.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  And so, this year, I probably will go ahead and do those forms for both of our daughters. 

Christine:  That’s really good information.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  The other thing I really want to say is that as a provider at a university, honestly, it’s really not to me, it’s our nursing staff, and our phone triage people, get inundated with angry parents saying, I want to know is my kid there, being seen.  I need all the parents to know, we can’t even say that they’re there, or they’re not there, not without your child’s permission. 

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  So our hands are tied, so please don’t be upset with the health staff, they’re not trying to be difficult.  Honestly, we’re trying to do the best we can for your kid.  For something like, something we see all the time, like say your kid is really sick there, so they’ve got food poisoning, or they’ve got mono, and they’re just really down and out, and we need to kind of have them there for a bit, maybe to give them some IV fluids.  The parents know that they were on their way there, and it’s just like, text your kid.  They can text back.  We don’t take away their phones.  They can answer and most providers are going to be willing to talk to a parent, but we can’t call the parent, if the student is talking to the parent, and the student, right there in front of you says, “Would you talk to my parent,” and hands us the phone, then we can say something.  Every school’s got their nuances of that, but just know that the healthcare providers are really -- we care about the kids a ton.  I don’t know anyone that works where I work that doesn’t just honestly love college students.  We’re all there, there’s not a lot of money in college health.  We’re there because we love the environment; we love the enthusiasm; we love young people, and we want to help them.  Please know that your kids are in good hands.

Christine:  Yes.  That makes me feel good as a parent.

Dr. Jill:  We give a lot of hugs.

Christine:  Well now, social distanced, right?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  Yeah.  I guess, now we don’t.  No, we’re not hugging.  Virtual hugs.

Christine:  Yeah, exactly.  I have a new favorite GIF and it’s the little raccoon that does this.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  Exactly.

Christine:  I’ll have to put it in my show notes.  It’s very important.

Dr. Jill:  Absolutely.

Christine:  So, Dr. Jill has a book that she’s written, and there is a theme -- I’m going to talk about it a little more in a bit, but there’s a familiar theme in your book, I noticed, about washing your hands --

Dr. Jill:  Pre-COVID.

Christine:  Yes.  This is pre-COVID.  Washing your hands to avoid illnesses, and while it isn’t COVID-specific, I see the knowledge dropped already within your book, on how to minimize your chances of picking up the common cold and such, which is great.  Why does it take us humans a pandemic to notice these things, not that I expect you to have an answer.  But that isn’t my question.  My question is related to your book.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Do you have a favorite chapter of your book, and if so, why is it your favorite chapter?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so every author out there knows that that’s like asking like, do I have a favorite child, so hard to pick.  But I will say a little bit in deference to our younger child, who’s the illustrator, probably if I had to only pick one topic in this, it would be the insomnia chapter, because I was talking with her about doing illustrations and figuring out which chapters we could use pictures for, and I’m like, oh, this is great, we can have all the solutions to insomnia in this picture.  That’s my favorite chapter.  One, because there’s a ton of things that kids can do that they don’t realize, kids and adults, in and out of school, ways that you can - - insomnia, before you ever get to the point of being so frustrated that you haven’t slept in a week, and in college student’s case, that they’re flunking a class, then coming in.  So this gives them a lot of things that they can do on their own, and tells them again, when it’s come in and let us help.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thanks.

Christine:  Now, I’ve got to go back and look at that chapter.  So this week, I actually received a listener question for you.  

Dr. Jill:  Great.

Christine:  Thanks to Deb, from Connecticut, for the following question.  I’m going to read it for you.  “Hi Christine, I think parents need to talk to their kids about what happens if they do get COVID when returning to college.  If they’re close enough, do they come home?  Is there a COVID dorm?” Well, we’ve already talked about that, that the college offers, and would they be expected to stay there.  Think about the options before they go and discuss.  Emotions will be running high --

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  -- if they do come down with it.  Interestingly enough, we covered a lot of it, but yeah.  Any additional thoughts on that?

Dr. Jill:  I think setting expectations upfront is really good and helpful, and yes, if I get that phone call that one of our girls has COVID, is my instinct going to be to jump on a plane, ‘cause my kids are a thousand miles away in different directions, you know, is that going to be my instinct?  Yes, that’s going to be my instinct.  Am I going to do it?  I hope not.  One thing we really need to remember is that although COVID is scary for a lot of reasons, still the vast majority of disease is mild, and hopefully, if and when our kids get it, they will fall under that category of mild disease.  They’re going to be uncomfortable.  They’re going to be achy.  They might be miserable, but it may not be medically scary, and I don’t think we need to immediately go somewhere.  

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  The great thing is that now we’ve got our smartphones, we can see them, we can Facetime.  We can talk with them.  I don’t think we need to be just running -- we’re not going to swoop them in and take them to a hotel.  I’m sure that when you check into a hotel, they’re going to say, “Do you have COVID?”

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  I don’t think ethically we can take someone with COVID to a hotel.  Could you do an AirBNB?  Yeah, I think that honestly, I think that’s a reasonable thing.  I think if my kid were in a situation where I felt I needed to be there, that’s probably what I would do, is I would try and rent a home, rather then -- because I don’t think ethically, you can take them to a hotel, with the shared ventilation systems and all of that.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  Just talking with them ahead of time, to say, hey, you know, if you get this, the first thing that’s going to happen is you’re going to be isolated, we want to make sure that you have your phone charger and your phone, and your iPad and your computer, and the chargers for those with you.  You’ll have to figure out how the campuses are going to be delivering food to them.  How are they going to check their symptoms and move forward? All of this changes, of course, if your child actually were to be immune-compromised.  We know if our kids have special risk factors that would change our immediate concern.  But if they are the average overall healthy kid, and asthma does not seem to be making COVID worse, oddly enough.  We have not really seen a big thing like that, so if they’re a standard, overall healthy kid, I don’t think we need to be swooping in immediately.

00:23:06

Christine:  That’s good advice.  I like your honesty, too.  I hopefully will not swoop in.  I appreciate that.

Dr. Jill:  You know?

Christine:  I know.  We’re moms.

Dr. Jill:  And it depends on the kids.  You’ve the introverted kid who’s doing just fine in social isolation, and you’ve got an extroverted kid, who is really missing that.  There’s so many factors that weigh into this, but there you go.

Christine:  There really is.  All right.  So, if you could have all of the college parents in the whole world in one huge room, obviously, social distanced.  This is a big hypothetical.  And you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?

Dr. Jill:  This is a tough one.  I’ve actually been thinking about this since you told me you were going to ask me this, because I’ve got 30,001 things I want to say.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  But I think one thing for all of us to remember, and this is directed at me, too, is that:  one, young people are resilient, we’ve already seen that; two, this is sort of - - but not really, not every day of college is fantastic.  If I say think about college right now.  If someone tells me that, I’m going to think about Aggie football games and having so much fun, and the super awesome times that I had in college.  I am not going to think about the night that I sat in my dorm room sobbing hysterically when my first boyfriend broke up with me, or the day that I bombed the test and I thought, oh, my God, I’ll never get into medical school, or the, or the, or the, or the.  We all have those other things.

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  The problem is, is our kids grew up, and especially now, in this high pressure, what college are you going to, and all of that that we do to our kids.  We didn’t grow up saying oh, yeah, I had bad days in college.  They grew up hearing us or going with us to football games, and having these fabulous times.  One of the things that I think we forget to tell our kids, is that it’s not all great, and that’s okay.  Because the problem is --

Christine:  So true.

Dr. Jill:  -- they have this image of everything in college is going to be fantastic.  If they weren’t popular in high school, they’re going to go there and suddenly be popular, or if maybe they were super popular in high school, they get to college and they’re not that big fish in a little pond.  But there’s all kinds of disappointments that happen.  A lot of which happen in that first semester away from home, and it’s twice as hard because they think, oh, my God, these are the best years of my life.  That’s what I’ve been told, over and over.  So my one piece of advice is to say, yeah, college, I would say at that point in my life, that was the best time of my life, but it’s not all great, and each year gets better, and each year gets better after college, too.  We have to have more perspective.

Christine:  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  It’s such great advice.  It really is.  I say this often, is that I think one of the detriments is that we aren’t taught early on in life that life isn’t supposed to be perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  So everyday, things aren’t perfect, so we lose control, and if you just realize, okay, this is the not-perfect thing right now, I mean, it’s not always that easy to say that, but it helps.

Dr. Jill:  And COVID sure is making things not perfect. 

Christine:  Wow, we are really being tested this year.

Dr. Jill:  We’re mastering that one.  Got that one down.  Nailed it.

Christine:  We do.  So what’s the best way for my listener to pick up your amazing book?

Dr. Jill:  Well, because of COVID, I’m going to say the best thing you could do is to support your local bookstores, because I love small independent bookstores.  So, one, start there.  Order it in advance, and then they’ll either deliver to you by mail, or you can drive up and pick it up.  So I would say that number one.  Number two, of course, is on Amazon, and actually, it is also on Walmart and Target online.  If you’re on there shopping for your other dorm stuff, just add it to your cart.

Christine:  Go you, Dr. Jill.  You’re everywhere!  I love it.

Dr. Jill:  I’m in Walmart.  Whoo Hoo!

Christine:  That’s awesome.  

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  So before you go -- it’s so funny, I could talk to you for four hours, I can already tell.  

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  So I have four fun questions that I ask every guest of mine.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Number one, very important, waffles or pancakes?

Dr. Jill:  And I’ve just got to tell you, I swing both ways.  Kind of the --

Christine:  Excellent answer.

Dr. Jill:  -- I gave a lot of thought to this.  So, if it’s a Mickey waffle maker, Mickey waffles, every time.  If there’s link sausage, then pancakes, ‘cause I want to make it pigs-in-a-blanket.  So those are my determining factors.  Anything with fruit and whipped cream, either one is equal.

Christine:  Syrup or no syrup?

Dr. Jill:  Whipped cream over syrup.  Less calories, tastes better, feels like a treat.

Christine:  It does.  That’s awesome.  What is one item you can’t live without and why?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so my knee jerk reaction to that question is, of course, my phone, because that’s how I talk to my family and how I communicate, but you know what?  I can also do that through my iPad or my laptop, so if it was one thing within that, it would be iMessage.  But I decided to scrap all of that, and the one non-computer thing that I can’t live without is my blender, because I make smoothies every day, and that’s the easiest way for me to keep healthy.

Christine:  Now, I want to ask you twelve more questions.  Is it like protein powder smoothie, or fruits, or --

Dr. Jill:  No, nope.  

Christine:  -- what do you put in your --

Dr. Jill:  Frozen strawberries, two handfuls, I put a lot in there.  Frozen strawberries, banana, that does not have to be frozen, and then Greek yogurt, vanilla yogurt.  That’s it.

Christine:  Oh, it sounds perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Then to clean it, here’s the really important part.  I learned this a long time ago.  

Christine:  Yeah?

Dr. Jill:  You dump it out, you pour water back in the blender, put one drop of your detergent in there, put it back on there, turn it on, it cleans it, rinse it out, you’re done.

Christine:  Oh, yes.

Dr. Jill:  It’s life changing for me. 

Christine:  Pro tip from Dr. Jill today.

Dr. Jill:  There you go.  Clean your blenders, that’s ‘cause that’s the one thing people hate about making smoothies.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  So I learned that.  So there you go.

Christine:  That’s excellent.  Oh, wow.  All-time favorite movie and any particular reason?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so tough one.  If I could only pick one, then I would have to say “Shrek” and that’s because “Shrek” was the first movie we really enjoyed as a family, when the girls were little and driving back and forth, we do these long road trips that take 17 hours, and so we watched “Shrek” a lot, and I love the adult humor.  I loved the animation, didn’t know our youngest was going to become an animator, but it kind of ties it all together for our family.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.  So, you have an hour of alone time, no one’s going to bother you.  What’s your go-to thing to do?

Dr. Jill:  Take the dog for a walk or jump on my Peloton. 

Christine:  Really?

Dr. Jill:  Yup.

Christine:  Wow.

Dr. Jill:  Exercise for sure.

Christine:  What kind of dog?

Dr. Jill:  We have a Portuguese Water dog.

Christine:  I can’t even picture that.

Dr. Jill:  It’s what Obama had.

Christine:  Oh, okay.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  She’s black and white.  

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  They’re hypoallergenic, and they’re friendly.

Christine:  Excellent.  Excellent.  All right.  So, Dr. Jill, I am beyond thrilled that you took the time to chat with me today.  I’m even more thankful as a parent, that I have your book, and that soon my daughter’s going to have her own copy of your book.  So, my amazing listener, you know I don’t recommend things often in this manner, like I really don’t.  So, this one is a total no-brainer.  Look for Dr. Jill’s book in your local bookstore, if you’re able, or use the non-affiliate link in my show notes.  Is there anything else you would like to share with my amazing listener, Dr. Jill?

Dr. Jill:  Just that, guys, we’re in this together and it’s going to be okay.  College does not look like what any of us want it to look like, right now.  But you know what?  They’re going to have a super unique experience, and they’re going to be telling their kids about that -- college in the pandemic and how we all wore masks, and we’ve learned we can really be flexible and do things differently, and they’re going to find more and more fun things to do outside.  They’re going to have more frisbee golf aficionados, and all kinds of different activities.  So it’s going to be okay.  I’m there with you.  I’m concerned, too, but it’s going to be okay.

Christine:  Wonderful.  Thank you for that reassurance.  I love it.  Thanks again, for being here, and for the incredible resources that you have gifted the world with, and a final thanks for sharing your knowledge with the college parents in my audience.  Thanks for being here today.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much.

[Music]

00:31:18

Christine:  I hope you enjoyed this interview, my listener. Dr. Jill’s website is JillGrimesMD.com. I’ll have a link to her website and her socials in the show notes!  When we finished recording, I spoke to Dr. Jill for a few minutes.  We came up with a quick list of items to have prepped in a COVID Emergency Bag.  It isn’t all inclusive but will get you started. She also mentioned that in her first aid kit she’s now recommending that a dorm room, or suite of college students, have access to a pulse oximeter. Her reasoning is that if your child has a cough and fever you would contact the college’s health center but if your child also has access to a pulse oximeter and their oxygen levels are low, then that is right to the hospital worthy.

00:32:07

One final thing we discussed is she recommends a mask that has a pocket for a coffee filter. She has a blog post with all the details on the why.  It totally makes sense and the link, of course, is in my show notes. 

[Music]

00:32:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are: have you picked up Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?  And the second question is, what question do you wish I had asked Jill?

[Music]

00:32:26

It is time for a quick tip, advice, or thoughts from a listener.

Jo:  I’m here to talk about Instagram, which I have a slight love/hate relationship with, as I’m sure many other people do, as well.  I basically think there is six stages that you go through.  You set up an Instagram account and follow anyone and everyone, in the hopes they’ll follow you back.  Stage two, you realize you can’t possibly go through the posts from 2,000 people, you seem to be following sites you have no interest in, like your neighbor’s cat, who seems to have their own feed.  I mean, what’s that all about anyway?  Any way, you unfollow three-quarters of the people you originally signed up to follow, in order to get your numbers more manageable.  Stage three, is the very next day, when you realize that those three-quarters of people have actually unfollowed you as well.  Stage four, you realize that this is actually good, that now, you only follow people you like and are interested in, and the people who follow you are engaged and seem to like what you do.  Five, you realize when Instagram goes down that perhaps you’re a little bit too tied to it, as you alternate between sulking, rage and full-on panic.  Six, you realize that some of your friends on Instagram are actually more awesome, insightful, and supportive than your real friends, and wonder, if in fact, you can stop following your non-Instagram friends, figuratively speaking, and just live on Instagram.  Okay, so that may be a little bit extreme, but my advice is this: your engagement is what matters.  Interaction with like-minded amazing women living their best life alongside yours, not the number of followers you have.  This isn’t news to many of you, but to those of you who are new to Instagram, or feeling slightly overwhelmed, keep it manageable.  You don’t have to post every day.  Post when you have something to say.  If it gets too much, take a break, come back again.  It’s meant to be fun, not a chore, and don’t go so far down the Instagram rabbit hole that you forget to be present with the people around you.  Anyway, I must go now.  I need to catch up with what Mauggie, my neighbor’s cat’s been up to.

00:34:32

Special Thanks to Jo Davies, for her humorous thoughts on Instagram.  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all, and it is the best way to be notified of a new podcast episode.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  I opened a box today and it told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

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