134: Why the Destination Matters More Than the Path (Why We Are Moving), Your Wins & More 💚

134: Why the Destination Matters More Than the Path (Why We Are Moving), Your Wins & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The most important thing to remember is that your college student - if they actually made it to campus - has changed. It could be a big or small change, but they are not the same student who left last time, and they are definitely not the same child that lived in your house at age 10, 12, 14, etc., so your now emerging adult deserves to have the opportunity to show who they are now."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast (why the destination matters more than the path):

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:12  Skip Intro
  • 02:16 My Wish For You Today
  • 02:38 New Things: Move, Grad School, and Empty Nest Success App Update
  • 03:56 Ask Coach Christine: How Should I Prepare for My Student Returning Home for Summer (College) Breaks?
  • 05:29 My Lessons Learned: Know Where You Are Going but Be Open to What Your Journey Looks Like to Get There (Why We Are Moving)
  • 07:11 College Loans
  • 08:11 Paying off the Loans & Why We Pay for Our Daughter's College
  • 11:19 Christine, Where Are You? 
  • 11:54 Celebrating You & Your Wins!
  • 15:21 What's in Your Life's Toolbox?
  • 17:30 Let's Find the Funny
  • 17:48 What I Wish My Parents Knew: College Break Exhaustion
  • 18:28 Two Questions for You
  • 19:23 Bloopers
  • 19:43 Still Listening? 

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How many times have you moved in your life?
  2. What is the destination that you have your sights on for your life?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 134

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #134.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I talk about the why for my family’s upcoming move, we talk about how to prepare for college breaks, and of course, we are celebrating our wins and more!

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:14 

My amazing friend, did you get a chance to listen to my last episode where I interviewed a client of mine? I can’t thank Jennifer enough for the time she made to share with us.  

As a reminder, you may submit feedback, questions or comments to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find that in my show notes, too, if you’re looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. 

00:01:56

[computer game level up music (short)] 

I’m thrilled to share with you that this podcast episode is sponsored by SupaPass. SupaPass enables creatives to have a slick Netflix-style platform with a modern & easy-to-use feel, making it easy to browse resources. SupaPass powers our Empty Nest Success online community which is coming soon! A special thanks to SupaPass for providing a space for our empty nest flock to fly to!

00:02:18

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you are present enough in your day today to notice something you wouldn’t have otherwise. Whether it be someone hurting that you can offer assistance to, an opportunity for you, or anything in between. May your mind be clear, and may your eyes and ears be open to it. 

00:02:40

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

First up, our move: I’m going to talk a little bit about this a bit today - tell you a little more about our why, also, but the status is that two weeks from today is our moving weekend. Our house sold in three days and it has been a whirlwind. 

Our daughter, as of today, isn’t attending grad school. Yes, she got into her dream programs but in the end the financials didn’t make sense for her - at least for this year, so she’s coming home for a bit - and our nest won’t be so empty again. Hubby and I are going to enjoy having her home for as long as she’s with us.

As for the empty nest success app is slow going with the move but I hope to have a portion of it available within the next two weeks for some of my flock members to begin testing it. If you’ve already reached out to me please know that I’ll be in touch soon. If you’re interested in testing it out, let me know  - email me or DM me!

And of course, there’s private coaching spots. I have two spots remaining in May. If you are a regular listener, you already know that in the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my absolute favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! 

00:03:59

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

One of the ideas I have about this segment is to turn it into more than just a segment of a podcast episode. I would love to get enough questions that I can answer them Monday through Friday and share a win with them. So, don’t be shy if you have a question for me to answer. 

For today, a recent question I received is, “Christine, how should I prepare for having my college student back home?”

And my response? 

I love this question so much because it really is important to think about ahead of time. The most important thing to remember is that your college student, if they actually made it to campus, has changed. It could be a big or small change but they are not the same student who left last time, and they are definitely not the same child that lived in your house at age 10, 12, 14, etc., so your now emerging adult deserves to have the opportunity to show who they are now. Let’s be real, you might have changed since they left and you might want them to know who you are. So, my top tip is to recognize that they’ll be different and take the opportunity to get to know the child (of any age) who's walking through your door and also remember that it is time for the relationship to mature. 

I have a four-part series on this on Instagram and Tiktok, if you want to check it out. 

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I do consider all submissions.

00:0529

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? 

Know where you are heading but don’t be set on how you are going to get there. I have talked about this in prior episodes and I talk about it in coaching - my spider web episode mentions it a bit but I’ve had it play out in my life recently and there was this incredible moment where I realized what happened - and this is where I share a bit about why we are moving. 

I’m about to be super transparent with you, and I did get the okay from my hubby to share this at a high-level. He’s extremely private (not on social media) so I like to ask ahead of time before I share things like this. 

We bought a large home a little over three years ago. We had been renting for years after owning a home but one of us really missed home ownership - wanted a bit more privacy and space. The house has been incredible with the pandemic - I mean we have been privileged enough to each have our own office space while working from home. I wasn’t sold on home ownership, to be honest. While there are things I like - the extra space and being able to do whatever we want in the house (are two) - the maintenance of home ownership and the work that comes along with it - well, I haven’t been a fan. I’d much rather create videos and content for you than clean a larger house, or take care of the house. 

When I came home one day last month and my husband said, “I think we should move.” I’ll be honest, I could not call the realtor fast enough. Then when he shared about how much homes are selling for where we live and pointed out that we’d be able to pay off our daughter’s college loans, well, it became a no-brainer for both of us. Those loans are no small potatoes. 

I promise I’m getting to the point of this lesson. Stay with me. 

00:07:13

To explain the college loans, we aren’t a family who had money saved for our daughter’s education. I know, I know - go ahead and gasp! I’ll wait. Our plan was that I’d work when she was in high school and we’d use that money for her college - well, she went four years early, so the solution for us, was, yeah, the government loans that she could take and the parent loans for the rest of it. She did get a great merit scholarship, but let's be real, it’s not like that leaves you with only $500 to pay for the year - gosh - wouldn’t that be nice? 

Here we are, now, with our daughter graduating in May, and guess what we need to start making payments on? Yes, four years of loans, loans and more loans. 

Feel free to judge, critique or what not. That is for you to do and it is all, honestly, outside of my fence, so your thoughts about what we did are for you to reflect on - not me. I share our experience because I know we aren’t the only ones in this situation and I want you to know I understand if this is you, too. 

00:08:11

Jumping back to selling our home and guess what we can do? Yes, pay off all of the loans! All. The. Loans. Rather than us live in this big house with college loans, we are moving to a rental where we get to live cheaper, and have a maintenance free lifestyle with no debt.

I understand this isn’t a choice everyone would make but it is the one we’ve made and it feels amazing. Does every parent have this ability? No, I know this. I know there are college students who aren’t able to get any assistance from their parents, and I know we are privileged. My husband did not graduate from college. I did. He had to pay for his college and tapped out very quickly. He’s always said the gift he wanted to give our daughter is a college degree paid for (she still obviously had to do the work - which she did). And here we are. 

You may be wondering… what does this have to do with where you’re heading Christine? Well, as most of you know, I have a day job and I have this business. I love this business but I’m not in a position where I’ll leave my day job to do this full-time until two things happen. Want to know what the two things are? 

1. Our daughter’s college is paid for

2. I make enough in my coaching to pay for all of the expenses with the business and make more than I currently make in my day job. 

Here is the interesting thing: over the last few years, I had assumed that paying off my daughter’s college was going to be through my coaching. I had never considered that we’d have this opportunity to sell our home in this market bubble, and that my husband who loves this house was going to be excited to head back to renting life. But here we are. It has fallen into place perfectly as if it was always meant to be this way and had to happen this way.

Does this mean I get to leave my day job? Oh, no. Not even close. I’m not one of those people that think,

[character voice]

 “I have to leave my day job to prove to myself that I believe in me. I mean,” sigh, “who am I if I can’t leave my day job and believe I can make enough money.” 

[return to normal speaking]

No, that’s not me. I get it but those are someone else’s thoughts about my business. I am a human who has real bills to pay, we have retirement to build up more and if I leave my day job, that puts a stress on not only our family but on my coaching that I don’t want there. I LOVE coaching. I LOVE it. I love it enough to be patient as my business grows. I love it enough to have single digit clients per year for five, seven, ten years - if that’s what’s in store for me. I’m all good. I am here, as Coach Christine, to have fun and to serve. Anything else is a drag and I don’t need that from the project I have that I created to bring joy and adventure into my life and into my client’s life.

So, I’ve learned in this experience that knowing how you’ll get to a destination is not important as being true to yourself, being open to anything along the way and remembering what your destination is so you don’t miss it when it is gifted to you out of nowhere. 

00:011:21

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead, and with my move happening, this is perfect timing!

If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there.

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:11:54

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

My win? I got rid of journals that I have been moving from home to home and have never looked at. As I was going through things and preparing to box up items, I turned on The Minimalists podcast and they reminded me that I don’t need to save them. Those things might be important to you but working on being super present in my life means that I, personally, don’t need to look back at years and years of my thoughts because I have new ones now, and I like the growth I’ve made. 

As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

Lesa of NotYourCollegeLife shared, “Content planning done for the next two months!”

Jen of FlourishingOver50 shared, “just finished a 12 week course and made it through all of the content, recordings, homework”

Jane of AmbitiousMamas shared, “Sometimes just the fact that I can smile. This empty nest thing 😢.”

Jane, I want to stop here and just remind you that you don’t have to smile at every moment. Please feel those emotions. It is okay to be sad sometimes. You are strong enough to get through them, to feel them and get to the other side of them. I believe in you.

Alright, back to our next one..

JillGrimesMD shared,”Love the pod van! My Wednesday win was fighting through a new version of photoshop (new to me cuz I hadn’t used it in several years) to create a new header for my website 🙌 🎤

Go, Jill! 

Alright, I’m going to take a break:

Lesa, well done on your content planning.

Jen, awesome on the course, and content, and recordings, and homework. I know how much work that is. It’s a big deal. Please give yourself a pat on the back!

Jane, you’re going to feel those feelings and I’m cheering you on.

Jill, I can’t wait to check out this new header!

00:13:51

Now let’s hear from the TikTok family:

Gigi M. Green says “ My win is writing the first season of my soon to be released audio drama.“

Go, Gigi. Woo!

Layla “I recently found out that my school will be able to have a safe, COVID-friendly prom and graduation this year!”

Oh my goodness. This is so exciting. I love it.

Vik shared, “I made up with my mom and I finally cleaned my room!” 

Huge. Love it!

Rain shared, “I went to bed at a good time and got all my work done without procrastinating.”

Awesome!

Noreen “I was able to get my first dose of the COVID vaccine!”

I love it, Noreen. I got mine too and I’m waiting on my second one. This is great. I hope you’re feeling okay.

Sunnyday shared, “Even though I was worried about homework, I went to the beach with a friend.”

Well done. And I checked in with Sunnyday and they said it was beautiful.

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? Now take a moment to share it on social media. Tag me and I’ll be thrilled to pop over and cheer you on! If you aren’t on the socials then share it with one other person via email. You have no idea how much your wins encourage and inspire others - no win is too small!

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - and you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram: just add the microphone emoji.

00:15:21

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are the things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me or someone else. I’d love for you to share what works for you in your life’s toolbox for others to consider. Remember, these are always suggestions. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa - don’t be afraid to try new things!

What I have to share with you this week was that I was gifted with a n.o.w.® tone therapy system. A sweet podcasting friend, Lee Uehara, won it at Podfest Global Summit and was incredibly generous to gift this to me. What is it? Well, their website describes it as “It’s Yoga for Your Mind.” I love it! It helps me to reset and recharge in just three minutes. Let me give you a little listen….  

It comes with two and I’m going to turn them both on.

[sounds of n.o.w.® tone therapy ]

One of the statements on their website is “helps you live in the present moment, more easily.” 

I’m all about presence, so this is speaking my language. It does a great job for me, too. I feel like it takes me to where I am when I am walking through the woods alone and able to be truly present in the moment. I’m a fan. I did take video of opening it and using it, and will post it on YouTube as soon as I am able! 

00:17:30

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

I’m putting a link to a TikTok video in my show notes. It is an adorable cat thinking they are going to sneak attack on another one and that catchy Oh, no, oh, no, no. Yeah, that’s really sad. [giggles] You know what I mean. That sound. That’s with it and it made me giggle out loud. 

00:17:49

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Related to College Breaks..

Your children want you to know that they’re going to be exhausted when they return home and ask that you have patience and grace with them with your expectations - especially immediate after their arrival. It is a lot for them, and they often may disappear into their room to sleep and sleep and sleep. Definitely make sure they’re in a good mental state but also don’t be shocked if they want to sleep more than you’ve seen them do so before - especially with the pandemic - navigating campus during a pandemic is no joke. Enjoy your time with them, be patient and have fun!

00:18:28

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1: How many times have you moved in your life? 

and Question 2: What is the destination that you have your sights on for your life? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I’ll be back with episode 135 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 133 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

And we are now at that part of the episode where I sign off after reminding you that you, my beautiful friend, are amazing!

See ya!

0019:23

[bloopers]

00:19:43

Still listening? 

Yes, I’m recording this in my podvan again. I’m very curious to see if the sound quality is just as good as my last episode - it sounded like a studio. It’s much better than my home. I’m debating on creating podvan accounts on Instagram and TikTok because I think I could have fun with sharing videos there. What do ya think? 

[end music]

133: What it is Like to Work with Coach Christine: A Client Interview & More 💚

133: What it is Like to Work with Coach Christine: A Client Interview & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I think the surprise benefit for me was that working with you didn’t only help me with my daughter’s situation - the empty nest. The way that you’ve taught me to - and worked with me to get better at choosing the thoughts that I want to think and gaining more energy - it spilled over into other areas of my life."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast (what it is like to work with Coach Christine: a client interview):

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:11  Skip Intro
  • 02:26 My Wish For You Today
  • 02:46 Start of Interview with Jennifer
  • 04:07 How Jennifer Found Me
  • 06:06 Jennifer's Hesitations About Working With Me
  • 07:21 What Jennifer Enjoyed the Most
  • 08:08 Figuring Out How to Be Okay With Her Daughter's Tattoos
  • 10:57 My Daughter's First Apartment
  • 11:43 Worrisome Thoughts
  • 12:13 Jennifer Shares Surprise Benefits to Working With Me
  • 14:32 What is the most evil thing you will do to a client? 😮
  • 14:56 How Often Would Christine Talk to Me? What does Coach Christine's Accountability Look Like: Calls, Texts, Etc.
  • 16:00 I'm a Busy Mom. How Do I Find Time for Coaching?
  • 17:47 Can I Move in With You? 
  • 18:37 Why This Work Provides Us With More Energy
  • 19:48 Jennifer Answers the Question, "Waffles or Pancakes?"
  • 20:13  Jennifer Answers the Question, "What is One Item You Couldn't Live Without And Why?"
  • 20:55  Jennifer Answers the Question, "All-Time Favorite Movie?"
  • 21:31  Jennifer Answers the Question, "You Have One Hour of Alone Time. No One's Gonna Bother You. What's Your Go-To Thing To Do?"
  • 22:26 New Things: Not So Empty Nest & April 2021 Coaching Availability!
  • 23:42 Celebrating You & Your Wins!
  • 25:41 Two Questions for You
  • 26:43 Bloopers
  • 27:00 Still Listening? 

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you relate to anything Jennifer shared today?
  2. What thought-delivery in your mind do you need to sort or clear out?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 133

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #133.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes - and this episode is no exception - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I interview a client of mine about her experience working with me, we’ll celebrate your wins, and a little bit more. 

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:11 

My amazing friend, in my last episode I talked about how imposter syndrome has a way of popping into your life in new areas once you conquer it in others, and interviewing a client of mine about what it’s like to work with me had my protector wanting to take over again - yes, there were some super speed intense thought-deliveries that I needed to manage. Look, I never pretend to have it all together: I share lessons as I learn, as I experience them! The good news is it didn’t stop me from asking, scheduling, recording and now editing this episode. The positive is that if I do this again - the leveling up that I did in this episode will make next time easier - on my thought-deliveries.  How are you leveling up in your life? 

As always, you may submit feedback, questions or comments to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find that in my show notes, too, if you’re looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. 

00:02:26

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you step into your life boldly. Your life. Not the life you were told to live by others but the life that you were put on this planet to live, the one where you are the leading character. 

00:02:46

Interview Start

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Christine: Today we get to spend some time with an amazing client of mine, Jennifer.  

Jennifer: Oh, it’s super exciting to be here, thank you.

Christine: Coaching brings up personal topics, so we’ll be using Jennifer’s first name only for this interview, as she requested. As with all of my private coaching clients, I’m truly honored to work with Jennifer. It has been exciting to be her coach: getting to know this incredibly intelligent, brave, and amazing woman. I’m beyond excited for what is ahead for her, and her family. Words cannot express my appreciation that she took the time to do this interview for both me - and for you to have a peek to see what it is like to work with me.

Jennifer: Well, first I have to thank you because this has really been invaluable to me. I think when we met I was in a much darker place, maybe, or less optimistic place, at least, and so I really appreciate the work that you do and think it’s fantastic. So, it’s great to be here.

Christine: My listener, right now is where my protector was throwing in those imposter syndrome thought-deliveries.  I had no idea what to expect out of this interview and where it was going to go. 

Thank you so much. 

I had never spoken with Jennifer about how she found me because she was one of those clients that purchased with no prior conversations with me, I asked her about this.

00:04:07

Do you remember how you found me?

Jennifer: Well, I’m a big podcast listener. I listen to a lot of political podcasts and history podcasts. And, you know, it was Christmas and my daughter had been home for a couple of weeks - and she was gonna be with us for a couple more weeks - she goes to school - she’s a junior in college. And my younger daughter is a junior in high school and so I was already starting to feel, you know, an overwhelming sadness that she was going to be going back. And just really, a kind of deep sense of loss about that. To the point that I wasn’t even able to enjoy the time with her because I was already dreading her going back to college.

I simply went on Spotify, and I thought, “you know, I need some advice on this empty nest business.” My sisters have gone through it but - and I talked to them - but they went through it a long time ago. I’m the youngest of six kids. I so felt like I needed somebody to place the feelings that I was having into context and help me through this phase. And so, I simply typed in “empty nest” on Spotify and you popped up. So, it was pretty random. And then I listened to several of your podcasts - not all of one hundred and thirty-some that you have now, but several of them, and I thought, “boy, you know, she seems really great.” I believe I might have signed up on your website for a newsletter - or updates, or something - and then when I found out you were doing private coaching, and I thought, “well, I’m not the wealthiest person but this sounds like a good investment, and this is what I need right now. I need to do this for myself. I just need to work through these feelings. I didn’t need deep dark psychotherapy you know, because you should go to a counselor for that- “ [giggles]

Christine: Yes, please.  

Jennifer: I needed somebody to work through the feelings I was having. So you popped up and you sounded great on your podcast, you made sense to me. I didn’t know all of the lingo at the time, I know more of the lingo now. But that is essentially how I found you.

Christine: I remember you booked, and I was like, “I don’t think I’ve ever talked to her before.”

Jennifer: Nope.

Christine: Who is this? [giggles]

Jennifer: Sort of did it on a whim. Sometimes I do those things on a whim. 

00:06:06

Christine: It was wonderful. I’m so glad you did. So, did you have any hesitations or concerns when you signed up and if you did what was your biggest one?

Jennifer: I was wondering how comfortable it would be to share some of the things I was thinking with someone you didn’t know at first - how much you should open up to someone in that space. Kind of like that balance but you made me feel really comfortable - pretty much off the bat. And, yeah, so I did have some hesitation but I always thought, “Well, you know, I can just not continue if it’s not going well but actually it turned out really well and became more and more comfortable even with every session.”

I think that was my biggest hesitation.

Christine: And you feel like it wasn’t a problem? 

Jennifer: Oh, no, not at all. I mean, after the first five to ten minutes. 

Christine: Oh, wow, that’s quick. Yay!

Jennifer: Oh, yeah, no, it was during the first session for sure. But you always never know what to expect when you sign up to something.

Christine: Absolutely. Well, what’s interesting is that as a coach, I always feel the same way too. Because - 

Jennifer: Oh sure.

Christine: You don’t know. And I would never want to work with someone who wasn’t comfortable anyway, so it is wonderful. That is kind of the benefit of the podcast is I figure if you’ve listened to three, or four or five and you get me - we’ll be okay. 

00:07:21

Thinking about coaching with me, do you - is there any part of it that you enjoyed more than anything else in the experience?

Jennifer: I really like the models that you use. I’m a big fan of visuals and analogies. So putting these important concepts - and the way that you’re able to put them in analogies like your protector, and the boxes of thoughts - I thought that was really valuable. 

It is a deep concept. It’s such a deep concept but the way that you’re able to communicate that, I think was really useful to me. So, I love the models but what I loved about the private coaching is that you can take things that are happening to you right now, and you help us run them through the models in a very personalized way.

00:08:08

So, things that we’ve talked about are my daughter’s tattoos, for example. I don’t mind sharing that with you. 

Christine: That’s a great story. I love that one.

Jennifer: Which I very quickly got over by working through the CTFAR model with you. And so that was a lot of fun. And now that I’ve evolved to kind of the CEO model, I can see how I’m able to work more quickly through those things myself but I still like to run some things by you because some things - and we’ve talked about a few things that don’t exactly fit the model sometimes.

Christine: Yes.

Jennifer: That you think don’t fit it. That you’ve helped me sort of see how it can fit and how you can re envision the situation in a more positive light to be more supportive to your child. And I think I have been more supportive to my child since we’ve started working together. I don’t get on her case as much about - you know - I was never a huge nag - I was always pretty positive and supportive but I always worried about her future and thinking about what she’s gonna to do next, and always kind of  - I’m a college advisor - or professor - I don’t mind saying that  - so, I know a lot about college and giving students advice and I think I was treating my daughter like one of my advisees. You know, peppering her with questions all the time, worrying about whether she was taking advantage of college and whether she was going to do X,Y, or Z. And I think you’ve helped me be more calm and have more faith in her and myself to sort of, let it happen, and let her be herself in working through that.

I think that was a pretty big breakthrough for me, one of the breakthroughs that we’ve had, including her tattoos which was a small part of that. [giggles]

Christine: Yeah, do you remember, I would love to tell - if you don’t mind sharing, what did I challenge you to do with the tattoos? Do you remember? 

Jennifer: Was it to envision that she was covered with all of them? I can’t remember.

Christine: Yeah.

Jennifer: I think that was one of the things you suggested to me, like “So, what?” You know, what’s gonna happen? You know, really nothing.

[giggles]

And then I kept taking it further: well, she’s gonna have to get them removed some day, she might not like them some day and X, Y, and Z is gonna happen. But to envision it and to be like, well, maybe she’ll get it done and it’ll be beautiful. You know, and it’s her own body.

Christine: Yeah.

Jennifer: And so, that was one of the more, I think, comical, and kind of fun things to work through. But there have been other ones, too, that have been really helpful too. 

Christine: Well, I’m glad you can call it comical now. Because 

Jennifer: Yeah, yeah. 

Christine: it was not comical when you first came - 

Jennifer: No it wasn’t. I was worried she wasn’t going to like them in the future and going to do something now that she would regret later. And, so, we worked through that and I’ve been able to let that go quite a bit and just take those thoughts, and put them aside and say, “What a beautiful tattoo,” because I do like the four that she has right now. [giggles]

Christine: Oh, that’s awesome! Wonderful!

00:010:57

Jennifer: I think the other model that we worked through - another issue - which was her getting her first apartment.

Christine: Yes.

Jennifer: Moving out of the dorms and signing her first lease. And that was scary for me too ‘cause she goes to school in New York City, and so, you helped me work through that one too. And, I’m comfortable with it now because she is very responsible, and she can handle it. And like you said, “it could be wonderful.” 

Christine. Yes.

Jennifer: But again, I had thought three steps down the road, like “what if she has a bad landlord? You know, what’s X,Y, and Z, and she and I have talked about the precautions to take so that that doesn’t happen but I no longer dwell on those “what-if” - more negative, I guess, scenarios.

Christine: Excellent.

Jennifer: Worrisome scenarios. So, I think that was really helpful, too.

00:11:43 

Christine: Jennifer and I talked about how when we play out those scenarios in our thoughts - our mind is already living in an emotional state as if the scenarios are real. We already have all of the stress as if it has happened even though it hasn’t happened yet - and may never happen. Our mind is that powerful - and much of my coaching is about learning to use this amazing tool - our mind - for us rather than against us.

00:12:13

I then asked Jennifer if there were any surprise benefits to working with me.

Jennifer: I’ve got a couple thoughts on that. I think the surprise benefit for me was that working with you didn’t only help me with my daughter’s situation - the empty nest. The way that you’ve taught me to - and worked with me to get better at choosing the thoughts that I want to think and gaining more energy - it spilled over into other areas of my life. I can see myself having more energy, feeling better about my professional life - 

Christine: Wonderful.

Jennifer: I get glimpses of that now. This spills into other areas of your life. Including, like you and I discussed, the death of my mom and dad, and guilt about that, and as we get older and have college-age kids, we also have aging parents, and there were a lot of thoughts I was having in that regard: of guilt - not just the grief but also guilt that I didn’t do X, I didn’t do Y when they were alive, and so, actually, I was really surprised that those parts of my life would be affected too by working with you. 

I don’t think it’s just about the empty nest. I think it is about all the things surrounding it. 

Christine: It sounds like you would recommend this program.

Jennifer: Oh, yeah, absolutely. [laughs] I think so. I think so. Definitely. 

Christine: Thank you. Thank you so much. 

00:13:33

I want to jump in here and mention that Jennifer is right, what I teach works for all areas of your life. I’ve worked with non-empty nesters - I’ve even worked with those who don’t have children at all. I do focus on empty nesters because I identify easily with those adjusting to the empty nest, and I’m still in that stage myself currently. I understand the emotional turmoil that may be the reality for so many. Some women get to this stage and feel like they’ve reached the end of their life because their entire goal was to raise their children. Now they don’t know what to do. So, I’m here to remind them that they still have amazing years ahead of them and I enjoy having this little secret  (well, I guess it isn’t now) that what I teach will help with all areas of your life. 

I’m giving you something forever. [giggles]

Jennifer: Yes, I would agree with that for sure. 

It’s now that I looked at the questions that my Instagram audience had sent in for me to ask either myself or my client, and I had this interesting one.

00:14:32

“What’s the most evil thing you will do to a client?” I’m like, what? Why would you even ask that? 

[laughs]

I don’t know. On purpose? Like, what would I do? [laughs]

Jennifer: Send all the resources in one day. [laughs]

Christine: Oh my go-  that’s really funny. I really try not to do that. [laughs]

On a more serious note, we did get this question…

00:14:56

“How often would Christine talk to me - what does Coach Christine’s accountability look like: calls, texts, etc.”

Jennifer: Oh my goodness. That has been absolutely wonderful. I get frequent texts from Coach Christine, and I just love them because they come on Mondays - and they come at other times in the week - during the weekend too, and they say, “I’m still your coach.” So she’s there whenever you need her. And, I think that was, actually, one of the surprises I was going to say in the last answer that I gave. That that was also a surprise to me because I did expect us to meet once a week like the program says but I didn’t necessarily expect you to be there on text  - for me!

We just had a conversation about something earlier this week where I had a work experience that I wanted to kind of sort through with you - and we went back and forth about ten times. And you just didn’t stop answering me which I thought was really great. 

Christine: It was so interesting. 

Jennifer: It could have gone on longer even. Definitely, she’s incredibly responsive over text when you need her. And I’ve really appreciated that too. 

00:16:00

Christine: Oh, I’m glad! Here’s a really good question, and I think this is very good for you because you are a very busy woman. So, here’s the question, “I’m a busy Mom. How do I find time for coaching?"

Jennifer: It was tough, I have to say, but it’s worth it, and if you think about how much time it’s gonna save you in the long run, like, honestly, really, I think I’m more productive as a person and the half an hour a week, and then if you want to take advantage of the text, too, and the resources - I probably spent - you know you can spend as much time as you have on going through the resources.  Coach Christine was really patient with me because some weeks I didn’t have time to go through all of the resources, so I might have gone slower than the average client. Some weeks I might have gone maybe a little bit faster - and that was totally okay with her. That part of it I wouldn’t worry about. And then if you think about it - it’s setting aside a half an hour for a conversation. 

I do think, you know, plan on setting aside at least an hour a week to go through the resources - she might suggest more.

Christine: No, that’s fair, that’s fair. 

Jennifer: As a busy person, sometimes I would do like an hour over the weekend, maybe an hour during the week, or a couple of hours in both directions. There were other days where I’d sit there and go through them for three hours. But the point is, is that it’s flexible and it’s not rigid so you don’t have to spend two hours a day doing the work. 

You should spend some time doing the work but it’s really manageable. Like I said, I’m a busy professional and I probably work in my professional life about 50+ hours a week, and so I get that. But for me it was doable, and I think you can make time for it because it will be well worth it in the end.

 

00:17:47

Christine: We had another bold question from Instagram, “Can I move in with you?” No. [laughs]

Jennifer: That would be nice. It would be nice to have you as a next door neighbor.

Christine: Awww, that would be nice. 

Jennifer: Yeah.

Christine: The feeling is mutual, actually. 

Jennifer: We can sit on the porch.

Christine: You are quite impressive, Jennifer. 

Jennifer: Well, so are you, and even more so. I think you have way more energy than I do -

Christine: You said that when we first met. I remember that was one of the first things you said to me. 

Jennifer: Yeah, I was low on energy. I was burning out. 

Christine: You have so much more energy now. 

Jennifer: I do. I have more energy.

Christine: Than you did. And your life isn’t less stressful, I would say - 

Jennifer: No, it’s not. 

Christine: Yeah. 

Jennifer: But I do feel like I have more energy. I really do. I was, you know, I was in a burnt out kind of place when we first started working together. I’m just really grateful that I’m not there anymore.

00:18:37

Christine: Jennifer and I spoke for a few minutes about why when we do this work, we feel we have more energy...you where you are now you see how all these thoughts in our head - it’s the clutter - and you see it in a house when you have clutter all over your house

Jennifer: Yes, exactly. 

Christine: and how it’s draining. And to me, it’s very clear in someone’s mind it’s the same thing, but it’s so hard to get to a point where someone understands that. 

Jennifer: And I had so much clutter in my mind - all the time that I would go to one room and I would forget what I was doing, and I thought it was age-related because I’m slightly over 50 years old, but I really think a lot of it had to do with the clutter: you know, always misplacing my phone, forgetting what I went to this room for, you know forgetting what I was doing [giggle] or supposed to do going from room to room. And I think once you get rid of that clutter, you can focus on what you’re doing at that given moment.

Christine: Yes. It is so powerful.

Jennifer: And so my focus has increased in work too. Not only forgetting what I’m going to the room for so that’s been a benefit. And I think that is one reason why some of my time has freed up a bit.

00:19:48

Christine: Jennifer was adventurous enough to answer the four questions I ask all of my guests..  my listeners know, I don’t have guests often but when I do I like to ask these fun questions: so, waffles or pancakes?

Jennifer: Waffles, definitely.

Christine: Any reason? 

Jennifer: Oh, man, I love the way the syrup collects in the little square things. 

Christine: Mmm.

Jennifer: [giggle] and they don’t get as soggy as quickly as pancakes. 

00:20:13

Christine: What is one item you couldn’t live without and why?

Jennifer: Does it have to be a physical item? 

Christine: No. 

Jennifer: Well, my family, obviously. That’s the obvious -well you can live without them, I mean but that’s not - uh - yeah.

Christine: Oh. 

Jennifer: I don’t want to go there. 

Christine: We hear her working through her thoughts, right? 

Jennifer: Yeah. I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go there. I was going to say my phone if it has to be a physical item but I grew up without a cell phone, so I’m gonna say my glasses ‘cause I like to read and I don’t see very well without them. Or, diet coke with ice - that’s one of my vices: I drink too much diet coke with ice.

00:20:55

Christine: And Jennifer has these lovely purple glasses. My audience won’t see them but they’re very cool. All time favorite movie? 

Jennifer: It’s a Wonderful Life.

Christine: Awww. 

Jennifer: Yeah. 

Christine: So, I could guess but what’s your reason? 

Jennifer: I think it’s about valuing what you have in the moment and not looking at what could have been or what you’ve lost but I’ve always loved that movie but now that you say it, “What’s my reason?” it fits really well with the kind of work you do, and we do, as well, with you. 

Christine. It does. 

Jennifer: It fits really well. 

I always torture my kids on Christmas that they have to watch that one with me. Yeah, I love that movie. 

00:21:31

Christine: Alright and my final fun question: You have one hour of alone time. No one's gonna bother you. What’s your go to thing to do?

Jennifer: Play piano or sing. I sing worse than I play piano so probably sing because nobody would be around to hear me so I can belt out my show tunes. 

Christine: Oh my gosh. Alto? Soprano? 

Jennifer: Alto, for sure. 

Christine: So, I’m a soprano. When we’re neighbors, we can do duets. 

Jennifer: Oh, you are? Oh, that would be awesome. That would be great.

Christine: [giggles] How did I not know this about you? 

Well this is great!

Jennifer: Thank you so much. 

Christine: I don’t want to take up any more time. Is there anything else you want to share before we wrap up?

Jennifer: No. Just that I highly recommend you. You’re awesome. Like you tell us. You’re awesome, too. 

Christine: Awww. You’re all amazing. I love it. Well, thanks for sharing. Thank you for trusting me to be your coach. It means the world to me. Thanks for being here. 

Jennifer: Pleasure to do it. 

00:22:26

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

It looks like hubby and I’s nest won’t be super empty for the next year - possibly. While our daughter was accepted into two grad schools for the programs she hoped and dreamed for - the financials aren’t lining up to make that a reality so as of today, she’ll be home with us in our new, smaller space. Cozy days ahead! That being said, plans are changing by the day, so I wouldn’t be overly shocked if this plan changes a few more times. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about having her home for a bit since we did miss out on a few years of a traditional education. Her graduating from college at the age of 17 has been quite a journey for all of us. I may fill you in a bit more on the home sale and our why about that but with my family being more private than I am, I want to chat with them about how much they are okay with me sharing on this podcast. It’s all good. Don’t worry.

Of course, since we heard from my client Jennifer, it is worth noting that I have a few remaining private coaching spots open in April. I’d love to work with you!

I’m going to skip some of my regular segments in this episode this week since I interviewed Jennifer but we must, of course first celebrate our wins!

00:23:42

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

My win? Setting some boundaries for social media and email requests during this busy month.

As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

Rachel shared, “I’ve taken my ADHD medication consistently for almost a week!”

Rachelbeth shared,”This week I set a boundary with my employer about my compensation! They were super nice about it, but it was really hard to do.”

Aiden: “I submitted my junior paper last night!” 

Ryann:  “I dumped my toxic ass boyfriend like I should have a year ago!” 

Sunny day: “Going on a vacation to help my mental health.”

Meghan H:  “I went to the last day of a class that I hate, I never have to go back and I’m so happy.”

Miss Mystery: I got a 100% on my math test.

MissBoyce: Pressing on despite troubling past situations.

TalkShitWithP shares, “My Mama just got appointed as the new Member of the Tanzanian Parliament and Minister of Foreign Affairs as of an hour ago!” 

What? Okay, Paula is kind enough to give us an article that we can click through and read this. This is truly awesome.

An Anonymous TikTokker shared, “We talked to my boyfriend’s family about him moving out with me and they took it great. I was so scared about it. They even offered us their couches (so they could get new ones) and were super supportive. 

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, it is your turn to think about a recent win in your life. Got it? Stand up  - if you aren’t already and give yourself a round of applause. Go ahead. I’d love for you to share that win as an audio message for my next podcast episode, or on my socials by adding a microphone emoji to your comment. Go, you!

00:25:41

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Do you relate to anything Jennifer shared today?  

and Question 2:  What thought-delivery in your mind do you need to sort or clear out?  

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 134 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 132 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

Before I go, I’m going to bring Jennifer back: My empty nest friend, Jennifer and I want to remind you today that you are amazing!

See ya!

00:26:43

[bloopers]

00:27:00

Still listening?

Podcast studio in my car?  In my script I said, “this is a thing I’m considering.” Actually, I’m sitting here in my car, recording all of the parts that weren’t the interview. So how does it sound? I wonder how this is working out? We are moving into a smaller space and this - this what I’m testing, very well may be the perfect solution. I drive to a park, record, and it’s better than the sound in my house. I think. What do you think?

If you want videos on how I’m setting my car up so that it works, I do have some on TikTok. I think I’ve posted some on Instagram. Super fun. And I can warm-up like crazy because no one is around.. Bbbbbwwwww - have a great day!

[end music]

[end]

132: Imposter Syndrome, Finding Your Funny, Your Stress & More 💚

132: Imposter Syndrome, Finding Your Funny, Your Stress & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"After all, all that leveling up you’ve been doing in your life until now is making things run a tiny bit smoother each time. And by smoother, I never mean perfect, I mean you’re able to manage your thoughts around the happenings in your life in a way that serves you and allows you to move forward."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 ✔ Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast (imposter syndrome and more): 

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:18  Skip Intro
  • 03:06 My Wish For You Today
  • 03:30 New Things: April 2021 Coaching & I'm Moving!
  • 05:37 Ask Coach Christine: Imposter Syndrome
  • 08:45 Benefits of Being the CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) of Your Life
  • 10:22 Christine Where are You?  On Clubhouse, App, and Offline Prepping for Our Move
  • 11:12 Celebrating You & Your Wins!
  • 13:14 What's in Your Life's Toolbox? 
  • 14:25 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 15:20 What I Wish My Parents Knew: We Notice Your Stress
  • 18:26 Two Questions for You
  • 19:21 Bloopers

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you interested in beta testing my new community web and app setup?
  2. How are you doing managing your thought-deliveries?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 132

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #132.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes for example I often mention your protector - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I talk about imposter syndrome, finding your funny, your stress, and of course, we are celebrating our wins and more!

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:18 

My amazing friend, in my last episode I challenged you to do the crazy thing. Did you become more aware of moments when you shut things down too quickly with your thoughts? Noticing these moments, allows you to be one step closer to becoming the CEO of Your Life. 

Before we get started let’s do some basic housekeeping - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And then, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find that in my show notes, too, if you are looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. 

00:02:21

I’m thrilled to share with you that this podcast is sponsored by SupaPass. SupaPass enables creatives to have a slick Netflix-style platform with a modern & easy-to-use feel, making it easy to browse resources. SupaPass powers our Empty Nest Success online community which is coming soon! A special thanks to SupaPass for providing a space for our empty nest flock to fly to!

To stay in the know now, or for transcriptions of the episodes and other goodies, visit my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com. 

Drop the YOUR to find me on socials - it was just too long - there, you’ll find me @emptynestcoach - and I’m primarily on TikTok and Instagram - the others I pop in from time to time. 

00:03:06

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you have a well trained protector - or are in the starting stages of training your protector so that you can pull yourself into fully being conscious in your life and take strides to becoming the CEO or Conscious Effective Olympian of your life. You deserve that, after all.

00:03:30

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

On a personal note, we are selling our home. As if I didn’t have enough going on in my life at the moment, sure why not throw a home sale into the mix? The good news is we are super excited about it - I’m not a home owner by nature - the upkeep of a home wears on my emotional state - so many thought-box deliveries for me to manage on the future upkeep of home ownership. And, honestly, can we even say ownership if we have a mortgage for it? ANYWAY, we’ll be moving into a rental and I’m not sure what that means for my recording space but thankfully, hubby and I like to get creative with things like that. Let me know if you want me to keep you updated on our process. This is a downsize for us but we’ve done this before. I love decluttering. I love living simply. And, I also love to share, so if you’re interested, definitely let me know. 

In other news, my daughter was accepted to a second grad school and life as it is  - she still has no idea if the planets are going to align to make one of them work for her. Wow! Waiting on hearing about the next stage of your life can be frustrating, emotional, trying, heart wrenching and all of that rolled into one - not unlike our adjustment to the empty nest! 

I’ve been slowly - ever so slowly - working on the Empty Nest Success app - how do you like that name? This is going to start with a website portion. If you want to be one of my beta testers for seeing how it works, let me know. I’d love to have a few flock members fly around inside and provide feedback on how to improve it.

And of course, there’s private coaching spots. I have a few remaining in April. And great news, in my next episode a client of mine will be popping in to share some of her experiences of working with me. If you are a regular listener, you already know that in the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my absolute favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! 

00:05:37

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

A recent question I received is, “Imposter syndrome keeps coming up in my life. How do I deal with this, Christine?” 

And my response? 

I’ve  noticed this too. It is as if the moment I conquer it in one area of my life, it pops up somewhere else.  For most of us who are aware of it, it is an amazing thing. Because the moment you are aware of it you give yourself the power to shut it down, or at least minimize its hold on you. It is a hold by the way.

The irony of imposter syndrome is that it keeps you from being who you are meant to be - by stopping you - it then makes you the true imposter. I have an early episode of mine where I talk about how I worked through this with coaching - it’s episode #8 and it is an early one, so be kind.

Next time you catch thought-deliveries that make you question your abilities or right to be somewhere - and you know those thoughts aren’t valid, take the time to thank your protector for the warnings but remind them that you are ready for the next-level.

In protector and thought-delivery speak, what if you think of this as also you’re getting closer to illumination in your life - who you are meant to be in that moment, and this means for your protector that they’re on their final training session for that area of your life and while they totally “get” that you are in charge of them now and know that what you are doing makes sense, part of them still wants to do that last fight back to you. After all, they’ve been doing this job for years - they’re used to it -  they want to protect you - and this is their last ditch for them to say, “Let me do one more test. See how she’s really doing. I’m gonna to send in a bunch of thought-deliveries in on super speed to see what happens.”

Think of it almost as a question, “Are we really ready to level-up together?”

And next time you notice those thought-deliveries like, “What makes you think you can do this?”;  “No one’s gonna listen to you”; “Well, you aren’t THAT good.” ; “No, you’re not ready for this.” and thoughts like that... rather than being annoyed at the imposter syndrome popping up. Note it. Know you’re just about to reach that next level. See it and super charge your training session - for your protector - to sort through those thought-deliveries. Know going in that yes, it is going to take more energy but also remember that each time you do this it gets easier and easier.  After all, all that leveling up you’ve been doing in your life until now is making things run a tiny bit smoother each time. And by smoother, I never mean perfect, I mean you’re able to manage your thoughts around the happenings in your life in a way that serves you and allows you to move forward.

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I do consider all submissions.

00:08:45

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? 

Becoming the CEO of your life, the Conscious Effective Olympian, allows you to get so much done. Drama is low and productivity has the opportunity to increase tremendously. Currently, I’m juggling the day job - and honestly it’s one of the busiest times of year there, a podcast, my coaching business, new sponsors, putting our home on the market, a variety of medical follow-ups for me and the family members, a child attempting to navigate grad school admission and decisions while having no experience myself, oh, there’s the pandemic, too, and I’m sure one hundred other things I’m forgetting. Sound familiar?  Life is like this.

Of course there are moments where I do want to complain, and sometimes I do - I’ll be honest, sometimes a lot - I’m human, but in the last couple of years, becoming conscious of the complaining that I do, always happens for me. Each time, it’s a little quicker. When the consciousness does appear to me, I remember that Eckhart Tolle tells us: that complaining is always an unacceptance of what is. And when you don’t accept “what is,” you can’t move forward - that is the gist of what he says - I didn’t look up the quote, so don't quote me exactly. That moment of consciousness is crazy powerful because it’s only then that we can stop fighting what is and begin to move forward. Sure, there are emotions around all of this and we work through them rather than bottling them up. Bottle up those emotions and they are bound to overflow at the strangest of times.

00:010:22

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead, and with my move happening, this is perfect timing!

If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there.

In my last episode I said, “life has a way of changing focus..” and, of course, since that recording we decided to sell our home. So, to be honest, much of my time will be spent there so if I disappear a bit from the socials, know I’ll be back whenever I can! 

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:11:12

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

My win? We staged our house in a weekend. This is the advantage to spending years decluttering and not having much “stuff” in your house. 

As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

Layla shared, “I met my target score on the ACT test! Now I feel much better about getting into my dream college.”

Sam shared,” I got ahead on my Spanish homework. A small but relieving win this week.”

MonsterTabs shared “was very productive today and was able to get up and do everything I needed to do!” 

TalkShitwithP shared, “My best friend got in a big accident this weekend and had to go through surgery and will need physical therapy to walk properly again but after I saw the car… am shocked at how alive she is and that’s my win this week… she’s alive, she survived the accident and the surgery and yes it is going to be a lot of work but she’s alive.” 

Oh, that’s a good one, Paula.

and finally Elaine shared  “went back to therapy!”

That is always a good win.

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? I now encourage you to tell two people about your win - and yes, you can tell them I told you to do it. Sometimes it is lovely to say your wins out loud to other humans. 

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - and you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my Wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram: just add a microphone emoji.

00:13:14

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me. I’d love for you to share what works for you in your life’s toolbox for others to consider. 

Sometimes we don’t have no idea what to do, and I’m giving you permission now to try things.  Sometimes you don’t know until you try them. If you don’t love it, it’s okay - you tried it - try something else.

This week walking was my go to tool in my toolbox. With planning for our move, hubby and I found ourselves sitting in a hotel room longer than anyone would like. We were waiting for showings to happen, and one good walk outside was what I needed to rejuvenate me - and also relax me enough to be okay with doing nothing for a few hours. That is no easy feat for me. Ha!

00:14:25

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

I’m going to challenge you here this week. I usually have something that makes me laugh out loud - that I found typically on the internet, or on Netflix - like a meme or comedy special. But this week, I’m going to challenge you to be present enough in your life to notice something that might normally upset you but then when you step outside of it, it’s pretty funny. 

As parents, we experience this all the time. Sometimes a story where we vent about our day - you can almost hear as you’re telling it how it could be turned into a sitcom, or a bit in a sitcom. Why not try that as a new way to process through your experience? A good laugh is a great way to reset yourself and by viewing your happening this way, there is a level of acceptance that has to happen. 

Thoughts?

Hmm… maybe you can title your show and share with us? 

00:15:20

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

I do not think this is news to you but your children notice your stress. You may think you’re hiding it but just like you notice when your partner or children are stressed, or your colleague at work is stressed and, you know - you know to steer clear of them today, your children notice that about you, too. 

Remember when you were a child and your parents weren’t in a good mood? Mmm hmm.

Now, am I blaming you for stressing them out. No, I would never do that. We are all human, it happens and we move on from it when it does, but remember that the more you can live in the present, sort your thought-deliveries and realize that the happenings in your life are outside of your fence, you’ll minimize the emotional impact on you which minimizes the impact on others. If you understand these concepts, if you are the CEO (the Conscious Effective Olympian) of your life, then you have the power to change how you are impacted by happenings, which indirectly impacts everything around you.

Now, I have episodes about this but others who are well run by their protector will notice when you aren’t managing your thought-deliveries well and their protector simply views it as an attack. Remember it isn’t them. They’re not even conscious enough to know about their protector, but when you level-up enough to see this in your own life, you can begin to clearly see it in others. And that being said, clarification: this is never something I advocate you use to be cruel to another human or do whatever you want. If you’re truly leveled-up, and understand these concepts it then allows you to have a greater deal of empathy for yourself and for others. It also allows you to have more control over your own life which in the end is truly the only thing you have control over anyway. 

Understanding and empathy is key when others are involved. Sure, you can make your thought-deliveries be whatever you want - “they deserve this” “they don’t know what they are talking about” but remember that is what you - YOU are choosing to think about someone else. If you choose cruelty, if you choose victim blaming, if you choose ignorance, and decide well, I can think whatever I want. Yes, yes you can, but who do you want to be when you think these things. It all comes back to us. Always. If the thoughts that you have make you unproductive - turn you into a human that you aren’t proud of - it puts you in a place that stops your momentum you are holding yourself back from being the amazing, caring, empathetic human that you are meant to be, or being a productive parent in a single moment. All you need to do is try a different thought-delivery. 

And I know say that like it’s easy. I know it’s work. Believe me, I know it’s work.

Well in this section, I’ve covered a lot of topics that I’ve covered very slowly over 130+ episodes. This is where I’m super excited to have the membership community that’s coming soon and app available to you - you’ll have an opportunity to pop in and ask me questions somewhere on what you’re confused about. How cool is that? 

00:18:26

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Are you interested in beta testing my new community web and app setup? 

and Question 2:  How are you doing managing your thought-deliveries? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 133 in two weeks and that will include my client interview. In the meantime, you have 131 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

And with that, don’t you dare forget, my friend, that you are AMAZING!

See ya!

0019:21

[bloopers]

00:19:31

Still listening? 

In the last episode I said I stopped drinking coffee. This week I tried adding a couple of cups of decaf in. I haven’t quite landed on if it will stay or not. My other beverage of choice is chamomile tea and Wegman’s has a mint flavored chamomile that is absolutely lovely.

[end music]

[end]

131: There’s Going to Be An App For This, Supporting Your Children, Your Wins & More 💚

131: There's Going to Be An App For This, Supporting Your Children, Your Wins & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Do the crazy thing, my friend. You know when something pops into your mind, and it makes absolutely no sense, but you feel you need to do it - called to do it. Why not do it? What’s holding you back? And look and see if it’s only your thoughts holding you back."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 ✔ Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast: 

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:14 Skip Intro
  • 02:53 My Wish For You Today
  • 03:18 New Things: March 2021 Coaching - Prices are Going Up!
  • 04:00 Ask Coach Christine: I need more space; What will others think?
  • 05:20 Consider Doing the Crazy Thing
  • 07:40 Christine Where are You?  On Clubhouse and working on the app
  • 08:58 Celebrate You & Your Wins!
  • 11:33 What's in Your Life's Toolbox?
  • 12:39 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 12:58 What I Wish My Parents Knew: Be Consistently Supportive
  • 13:40 Two Questions for You
  • 14:54 Bloopers

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you interested in learning more about the Your Empty Nest Coach app that will be available soon?
  2. What are you finding funny in life? I’d love to know.

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 131

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #131.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost - use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I talk about the soon to be available Your Empty Nest Coach app, I ask you to consider doing the crazy thing, I talk about supporting our kiddos, and of course, we are celebrating our wins and more!

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:14 

My amazing friend, how did my tombstone talk sit with you last week? Are you living that dash fully? I hope you are! Before we get started let’s do some basic housekeeping - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find it in my show notes, too, if you are looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. This episode is sponsored by me - and all things Your Empty Nest Coach, to keep this podcast going strong be sure to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast player, to share it with others, and visit my website, sign-up for my email list, and check out all of my offerings. Thanks!

Are you sitting in the simmer of your life, managing your thought-deliveries and clearing them out that allows yourself to level up and enjoying the journey that is your life? I sure hope so! I don’t have a big new thought or analogy for you today outside of the upcoming segments, I was jam-packed the last couple of weeks and while I’m fairly certain I had a couple of revelations, of course, they all escape me now. Isn’t fun getting older? 

00:02:53

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you have a peace in your life that you haven’t experienced before. That you discover the peace found when you are fully present in your life, in this moment, not thinking about last year, ten years ago or concerning yourself about the future. May you discover the now and gain deeper peace.

00:03:18

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

Well, coming soon: the Your Empty Nest Coach app! I talk about that a bit more later in the episode.

My daughter was accepted to one of the grad schools she applied to - she’s still waiting to hear from the others and that’s super fun! 

Finally, I have one open private coaching spot remaining for March, beginning March 15th - that’s Monday if you are listening to this near release - and then the price goes up in April! In the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my absolute favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! 

00:04:00

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I was recently asked this question by a listener who wishes to remain anonymous. 

I’m getting remarried and moving into my fiancé's home. So far, it looks like I’ll have no space of my own - or very little. I’m considering renting my own space to escape to and for my hobbies - what will others think? 

And my response? 

First of all congratulations on the upcoming wedding! As for what will others think? Does it matter? If you are the CEO - the Conscious Effective Olympian - of your life, then you know what others think is outside of your fence. Look, if this works for the two of you, you can afford it and it brings you peace, go for it! 

If you are guessing what others will think, you could be wrong, they actually might be jealous. Don’t we all want a place to escape to? 

If you aren’t sure what to say when people say something to you, I suggest coming up with 2-3 good lines that make YOU feel peaceful when you say them. Practice them, use them when the timing is right, and then be sure to enjoy those escapes of yours!

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I do consider all submissions.

00:05:20

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? 

Do the crazy thing, my friend. You know when something pops into your mind, and it makes absolutely no sense, but you feel you need to do it - called to do it. Why not do it? What's holding you back? And look and see if it's only your thoughts holding you back. Do you want to sort through those thought-deliveries? Maybe your protector isn’t considering them worthy of your time because they want to protect you - but remember you are the boss of your protector. We want you to be the CEO of Your Life - to consider things in a way that serves you and your future self. Maybe that thing that popped into your mind should enter your fence, maybe you should spend time considering it. What is the harm in considering it?  

My personal example of this is while attending Podfest global summit, I had the idea to host the Whova overwhelm meetups. It really didn’t make a ton of sense with my coaching and all that - and my whole goal was to meet others in a way that I might be able to assist them and we’d get to know one another. Well, eventually, one of the organizers asked me for a recording, which I made - and then re-made and it was posted on the exhibitor page. 

It doesn’t stop there. When talking to a vendor that looked like they could be an amazing fit for the hole piece I’ve been missing all along - I have tried other things but none were right. This vendor just seemed really, “right.” Well, she saw my video in the exhibitor area which led to other conversations and eventually a sponsorship of this podcast and the ability to have an app with all kinds of goodies in it for you.  

I don’t think that conversation would have happened the way it did had I not had done the whole Whova overwhelm work. How fun is that? And had I come in here thinking I want to have a sponsor and be on the exhibitor page, it wouldn’t have worked that way. It’s so much fun. I can’t wait to tell you all about the app, hopefully, in my next episode it will be ready. I’m setting it all up now! And by the way, none of this was even a thought in my mind two weeks ago!

I leave you with: consider that crazy thing in your mind that you may be brushing away. Maybe there’s a reason you should be doing it. The more your thought-deliveries are managed, usually, the more clear the opportunity is when it presents itself. Consider them.

00:07:40

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead. 

If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there.

Oh, and I also created a couple of clubs there, too. They are called Your Empty Nest Coach and College Parent Support - I’m not exactly sure what, if anything, I’ll be doing with them but reserving those felt right. 

My plan for the next two weeks is to set up the Your Empty Nest Coach app and work on TikTok videos. I got a new computer - this is so much fun because I really enjoy video editing and  now my computer can handle it. So I am rendering TikTok videos - not doing it all on my phone - this is exciting!

And that being said, life has a way of changing plans, of course, and that’s okay. If you remember, my focus for 2021 is to enjoy the journey and I’m feeling fairly good about how well I’ve been doing with this. I hope you are enjoying the moments of your life!

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:08:58

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

I’m celebrating gaining my first podcast sponsor! Yay!

As for your wins, my TikTok audience is certainly not letting me down - thank you so much. This is two weeks worth. We have some great approved wins to share with you - and please forgive any mispronunciations:

Elaine Best shared, “I’ve gotten up early three days in a row!”

Hillary shared, “Had a corporate coworker reach out to ask about working with me through my coaching business.” 

Evette Shares, “I have been asked to be the host of a FB live interview.”

ClassyMalick shared, “Finally filmed a piece for a video I’ve been working on!”

Cheyenne shared, “I finally got up early for once to study and I think I did well on my test.”

Fraser N Johnson shared, ”Got an offer for my dream school.”

Lindsy Hall, “I got the job!”

Evelyn: “Got 100% on my psych Midterm!”

Kiarah: “My band got all  1’s in concert UIL. It’s my senior year and I didn’t get to do it last year. I’m so proud of them.”

Kerrigan: “I got my major changed!”

Emily: “I got a 100% in my test and then I helped a friend study and she got a 100% too!”

Kathrine: “I was able to quit my old job and got a new one.”

Sunny day: Shared twice with me. In week 1 they shared “Survived another day on planet earth.” and in week 2 “Set a timer for two hours and studied for all my classes.”

Some Insta friends shared their wins as well:

Melissa of DigiScrapHQ shared, “Making some best friends at podfestexpo but also hanging all the washing between showers.”

Kellie of EmptyNest Mom Life shared, “I’ve exercised every day for a week and I launched my logo yesterday!”

Tammy of TLCDesigner shared, “I’m learning to live myself for who I am - who I’ve become - who I will be”

Karena of TiltTheFuture shared, “I published my book today!”

Wow, thank you all for sharing your wins. This feels so good. I hope you feel well, too. And listener, I want you to take a moment and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big, that you can celebrate. You got it? Now give yourself a high-five. And that goes for everyone who shared your win with us. 

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my Wednesday Win videos on TikTok or Instagram and add a microphone emoji.

00:11:33

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me.

I have something to share with you, today. I love nature sounds. I believe I’ve mentioned this before but I like to pop outside to hear the sounds of nature: the rustling of leaves that a squirrel just walked through, or birds - we have a lot of birds here and did you know there is a lovely podcast hosted and produced by Suzy Buttress. It's called The Casual Birder Podcast and Suzy shares her observations of local birds in southern England to those seen internationally. She has recorded bird walks, interviews and stories from birdwatchers around the world in her episodes, if you enjoy bird listening - definitely check her podcast out.

00:12:39

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

Brian Regan has a new Netflix special out. Our family was lucky enough to see him in person years ago - it was great. This new one titled “On the Rocks,” had hubby and I laughing out loud. If you like clean comedy, you might want to watch it.

00:12:58

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Courtesy of TikTok, I’m here to tell you that your children want you to be supportive. Consistently supportive. Not uh, “Oh, I’m supportive,” one moment and then “yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” kind of thing.

As a coach, if you were my client and you weren’t sure how you feel about something, I would recommend that you be honest with your child and let them know that you are doing your own work to be supportive - which is what you want to be - that it might not be an easy one so you may catch yourself but that ultimately you do want to support them. If, however, you don’t feel you can be supportive, don’t fake support one minute only to withdraw it the next - that isn’t fun for anyone.

00:13:40

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Are you interested in learning more about the Your Empty Nest Coach app that will be available soon?  

and Question 2:  What are you finding funny in life? I’d love to know.

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 132 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 130 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

And with that, stop for a second, take a deep breath  - go ahead - in and out - and listen to me remind you that you, my friend, you are AMAZING!

See ya!

0014:45

[bloopers]

00:14:51

Still listening? 

Oh my gosh, I stopped drinking coffee! No joke. I’ve had one cup within the last week. 

[end music]

[end]

130: Things That Won’t Be on My Tombstone, New FAFSA Calculations, Your Wins & More 💚

130: Things That Won't Be on My Tombstone, New FAFSA Calculations, Your Wins & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The world needs you - not carbon copies of other humans. We need you to be authentically, unabashedly you, so I hope that if you don’t already know who you are, that you get a glimpse of your future this week."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 ✔ Check out this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast: 

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Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:00 Skip Intro and Get to the Tombstone Talk
  • 04:36 My Wish For You Today
  • 05:18 New Things: March 2021 Coaching
  • 05:52 Ask Coach Christine: "Can you comment on the FAFSA removing the consideration of multiple college students in the family?"
  • 07:28 Give, give, give
  • 08:19 Christine Where are You?  On Clubhouse and at Podfest Global Summit
  • 10:18 Celebrate You & Your Wins!
  • 12:45 What's in Your Life's Toolbox? 
  • 13:58 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 13:59 What I Wish My Parents Knew: About the Kitchen
  • 14:55 Two Questions for You
  • 15:53 Bloopers

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Was the tombstone talk too much? 
  2. Is this the week you call in and share something with my podcast audience?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 130

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and we’re on episode #130.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes. Should you feel a bit lost - use my show notes for best places to begin!

In this episode, I talk about Things that Won’t be on My Tombstone, of course the wins you are celebrating, this thing called Podfest Global Summit and more.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today. Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:00

My amazing friend. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. You’ve chosen to listen to my voice, and what a privilege that is for me. I don’t take your time lightly, so thank you. Let’s do some basic housekeeping first - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of this episode by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946). You’ll find it in my shownotes, too, if you are looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. This episode is sponsored by me - and all things Your Empty Nest Coach, so to keep this podcast going strong be sure to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast player, to share it with others, and visit my website, sign-up for my email list, and check out all of my offerings.Thanks!

[creepy music]? 

I know you’re thinking, “Christine, why are you talking about tombstones?” 

I know, I know, no one likes to think about death but remembering that lives are finite can be a tool to use to put the many frustrations of daily life into perspective quickly, and then work through your thought-deliveries and training up your protector - and all that other fun stuff I talk about. 

00:02:49:

But this week, I found myself saying off the cuff to someone, “Well, the number of instagram followers I have will not be on my tombstone.” and then I started listing things that won’t be on my tombstone… I mean pretty much nothing will be on my tombstone, should I have one. What do we get birthdate  - dash - and end date.  Ouch. A dash. Not how many instagram followers, not how many speaking engagements, not how many children you have, not your college major, not how much money you make, or clients you have, or what you did for a living. And in the end I don’t think I’m going to look back on my life and say, "You know it is a darn shame that in 2021 I didn’t already have 100,000 downloads. I mean, that, that would have made this life worth living." 

Yeah, I don’t know why I talk like that in the future.

Let’s be real.

So, if the idea of thinking about this doesn’t freak you out, when you get frustrated this week, remember, this stuff isn’t going to be on your tombstone. And at the end of your life, more than likely, you’ll be thinking about relationships. Those that you wish you did more with, those that you wish you might have let go of sooner. Those that you are proud of and that you are glad you cultivated. I don’t know, what do you think you’ll be thinking about? If you find this resource helpful to you, it is a good resource to have in the top of your life’s toolbox. And for the record, I remembered that I had read or heard somewhere about making the dash mean something...I did a quick google search, and found the Dash poem - it says more on this than I just did, so I’ll link to the website in my show notes, if you want to check it out. 

00:04:36

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you, today, is that you, yes you, discover a new amazing aspect of you that you have been hiding for some time. I’m giving you permission to be curious about that part of you. The world needs you - not carbon copies of other humans. We need you to be authentically, unabashedly you, so I hope that if you don’t already know who you are, that you get a glimpse of your future this week. As always, I encourage you to manage your thought-deliveries in a way that serves you, and future you well. 

00:05:18

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

New things!

Well, this one is not really new but I have a few open registration spots remaining for March, beginning March 15th. In the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! I have more going on but I’ll share that in an upcoming segment.

00:05:52

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I was recently asked this question on TikTok and responded with a video: 

Can you comment on the FAFSA removing the consideration of multiple college students in the family? My youngest daughter may need to delay a year.

And my response? I didn’t actually know about this but thankfully my day job is in an enrollment office at a college and I asked my amazing colleague, Ashling in our Student Financial Services office about this. She confirmed that, “Yes, this is true.” 

In the new version of the FAFSA which will be easier to complete and streamlined, it will only ask you how many people are in your household - it won’t ask you how many are in college.

It is basically a newly calculated EFC that will now be called an SAI.

The SAI will go lower than zero to -$1500, where the EFC goes as low as 0. 

This is scheduled to be in effect the 2023 - 2024 school year which means that October 1st 2022 when the FAFSA opens, this new calculation will be in place. 

Now as someone who likes data, I would love to see a side by side calculation to see the actual difference because it might not be as significant as it sounds with the new calculation. Any takers on doing this comparison? 

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I consider all submissions.

00:07:28

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned

What have I learned recently? 

Give, give, give, give and expect nothing in return. I’ve been giving a lot recently and on purpose. Someone watching me might say I give too much of my time to things that don’t have a specific purpose that ties back to my business. I have no expectations of anything when I give and it makes things super fun and interesting when the universe responds in ways that I not only might have been hopeful for but also that exceed any expectation I might possibly have. Try giving a little more this week than you might have in some area of your life - have no expectations and see what happens - it might just be, it feels darn good to help another human.

00:08:19

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you?

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips sessions. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead. 

Rachel Lankester was kind enough to invite me into a Clubhouse room to talk about Empty Nesting this week, as well. 

If you are on Clubhouse, be sure to follow me, Deirdre and Rachel there - great energy all around, if I do say so myself. 

This week ahead, I’m attending Podfest Global Summit any free moment I have. It is virtual which means, I can squeeze in a few sessions over my lunch break and in the evening. I was lucky enough to speak on a panel this past Monday - it was all about Higher Education in podcasting - or vice versa. A special shout out goes to the amazing Lesa Beals of the podcast Not Your College Life for including me on the panel. You’re the best!

With my speaking gig over, I’m quite active on the Whova app as I’m free because I’m all about making connections, and have had great fun running meetups about Whova overwhelm - for those who don’t know, Whova is the app that the conference is being held through. My former programmer/analyst days are coming out and I love helping others get comfortable with tech. 

If you are listening to this a few days after the release, I have free base passes for you to attend. This is an amazing conference with value in so many areas - not just podcasting, so don’t be shy, check it out and use the code EmptyNestSuccess all one word to earn yourself a free spot at the summit. Then be sure to connect with me on the app!

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:10:18

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

I tried something new with this, this week - I post Wednesday Wins videos regularly on TikTok. This week I also posted on Instagram and I mentioned in both that if you put the microphone emoji in your shared win in the comment, that it’s your way of giving me permission to share your win on my podcast. And some of you were willing. As always, the small wins count as much as the big ones!

I’ve had a lot of wins this past week. The one that has been good for me personally is with all of the happenings going on in my life, I’ve done a good job at managing my thought-deliveries, my protector, watching the overwhelm, and I’ve still made time to be still periodically. That’s no small feat. 

And now I have some fun approved wins from listeners and followers to share with you: 

Sloppyspacefish shared, “My boss approved my idea to add a JOAD program to our camp.”

JaeHermann.co shared, “I aint killed nobody, yet. 🥳 Mercury Retrogade has been kicking my arse, but I’m on the upswing, so that’s a win, too!!”

Talkshitwithp  on Instagram shared,”being a 1st time case study speaker at podfest.” Now listener, I had the privilege of chatting with Paula - and I’m so excited for her to share her session - “How podcasting saved my mental health.” And I plan to stay up past my bedtime to watch it.

AmazingAnonymousMama shared, “My daughter’s thinking of changing her majors and I remembered your TikTok and didn’t freak out.” Thank you AmazingAnonymousMama for spending time with me on my TikTok live - and sharing that. It means the absolute world to me.

Thank you all for sharing your wins. And listener, I want you to take a moment and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big. You got it? Please give yourself a pat on the back, and those of you who shared with us here, thank you for letting me share your wins with my audience. 

Now, my amazing listener, don’t forget to share your win with us - you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes. Or pop in the comments of my wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram and add that microphone emoji. 

00:12:45

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in life in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me. As always, I’d love for you to share what you use in your life’s toolbox for either moment in life - use that Google voice number to share, or DM me!

Today, I’m going to share something I use to help me focus - which I need more often than you would probably guess. I’m using one now, or I was, as I was planning this episode -  and that is focus audio is what I’ll call it: for me that looks like brown noise I listen to on YouTube or the deep focus playlist on Spotify - which I was introduced to by the wonderful Alesia Galati. Thank you for sharing that on Instagram ages ago, Alesia. It has helped me get through more than a few work days and projects! 

My listener, have you listened to that playlist? Definitely check it out.

00:13:58

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

I have to do this one. I know. But I have to. It’s the lawyer with the cat filter. I caught this one early on and did a reaction video on TikTok, shared it on Instagram and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this video and still laugh. I truly hope the man behind the cat filter knows how much joy he has brought the world. I’ll put a link to my reaction in the show notes!

00:13:59

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Your young adult or adult children might want a bit more independence in the kitchen. If you do all of the cooking and meals are scheduled, they might want to feed themselves, use the oven between meals, and cook late at night. It might be worth a discussion to see how they can gain a bit more independence in the kitchen while respecting your needs.

This is based on, what else? Yep, comments left on my TikTok videos, of course. 

00:14:55

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Was the tombstone talk too much? 

and Question 2:  Is this the week you call in and share something with my podcast audience? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 131 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 129 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or to relisten to. And with that, don’t you dare forget, that you are amazing!

See ya!

0015:53

[bloopers]

[music]

[end]