Empty Nest Success Evangelist specializing in coaching mothers entering the empty nest. ★ Master Motivator ★ Podcast Host ★ Together we'll channel your freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy! ~ Christine, Your Empty Nest Coach
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, episode number 3, Empty Nest Prep, part 1, Your Thoughts. … Today’s topic is your thoughts. This part one of a five-episode series titled “Empty Nest Prep.” These five episodes are the base level material of everything that I teach.
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, episode number 3, Empty Nest Prep, part 1, Your Thoughts. This podcast is for you, a mother who years ago walked away from a career to raise your child. Sure, you’ve been busy with volunteering, car pools, maybe part-time work and taking care of everyone. But your main gig, that’s been your child. Now, that they are in their later years of high school, the empty nest looms ahead for you and it’s freaking you out. I’ve been there, and I get it. Together, we’ll turn our freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy.
Hello, my empty nest friend. Episode 3, I am super excited. I think every episode I’m going to be super excited because I still can’t believe this. I’m recording this in December of 2018 and was just thinking this morning that I began working on this project in July. Five months. I remember putting on paper that I would go live with the podcast in 2019. It freaked me out, just a bit, to see it in writing, so I coached myself through it. I made a plan, and despite having a full-time job, I figured out how to make it happen. It is a lot of extra hours, which means it’s really tough for me to get much done around the house. Thankfully, I have a fantastic partner, who recognized my passion and said I’ll take care of everything else. I know I’m crazy lucky. This is a huge shout out to my husband, Don, who may never listen to this, but I want you, my listener to know, that he is an incredibly huge part of me being here. I hope that you find this podcast to be a place of inspiration and of encouragement to you. I also hope that it reminds you that you’re not alone in your transition ahead.
You may never purchase a program from me. You and I may never meet in person and that’s totally okay. I want you to know that you aren’t alone and that you should absolutely use all of the free resources I provide, as much as possible. That is why I am putting them out there. They are my gift to you. Please use them and let me know if you find them helpful.
Did it really take me this long to get to the topic at hand? I guess so. Today’s topic is your thoughts. This part one of a five-episode series titled “Empty Nest Prep.” These five episodes are the base level material of everything that I teach. It all starts with a visualization I have to share with you. I’d like you to imagine your mind as a house. This house has rooms in it, of course. It also has a front door and a back door. Let’s start with picturing it empty, nothing in it. Which, as we’ll discover, is not what our mind is like, nor would we want it to be.
You have an image of an empty house. Imagine that you get a delivery. Your doorbell rings and you answer it. You answer the door, are handed a box, you close the door and read the label. I want you to imagine that that label is a thought that you just had. Are you with me? Your mind is the house in this story, and the delivery is a thought that popped into your mind.
You take a look at the thought written on the box, and maybe it says I’m proud of my child heading off to college. You read it and take it happily into a room and place it down. Before you even get it firmly placed on the floor, the doorbell rings again. It is another thought box that popped into your head. You casually go to the door, grab the box, and see it labeled. It says, I’m going to miss them. You look at the box and read it and feel not so happy any more. You aren’t sure what to do with the box, so you start to walk into a different room, but then, the doorbell rings again. Another box arrives, it is labeled I’m going to be lonely without them. You have feelings showing up that are starting to get a bit more negative. You’re barely done reading this labeled box, when the doorbell rings again. I’m going to have no life without them. Doorbell. My partner and I have nothing in common any more. Doorbell. I have no future.
The doorbell keeps ringing. You can’t keep up. You try to put the boxes in rooms and organize them, but you don’t have the time. There are way too many. In frustration, you give the keys to your house to the delivery person. For this visualization, just assume that you fully trust them. You tell this delivery person, just put the deliveries anywhere you can fit them in my house. Think about this though. You never once took the time to think, wait, I don’t even need to accept these deliveries. You forgot that they are completely optional. Not only that, the sad part is that you get so frustrated with how many thought boxes are in your house, remember this is your mind, that you tell the delivery person to just take some out when the house is full. You don’t even take a moment to look at what boxes are being removed.
You didn’t notice that some really good ones disappeared. The ones that are labeled I am amazing. I am going to do great things. My partner and I will have time to reconnect. Sadly, those thoughts are gone. Are you with me? Do have the visualization that your life is controlled by these thought boxes, AKA your thoughts? When you think about it, you are being bossed around by these thoughts because you never once considered that they were completely optional. My empty nest friend, I am here to tell you that each and every thought you have is optional.
I want you to spend the next few days, weeks, months ahead to take time to notice the thought box deliveries that you allow to enter into your mind. When they arrive, and you are able to notice them, observe them. Write them down, and ask yourself, do I like that thought? This may sound odd or silly to you, but it can be life changing if you get it. We are only beginning to place our toes in the water in this episode.
My next episode we’ll talk about how you treat yourself when the thought appears, and you notice it.
My questions for this week are:
1) Have you considered that your thoughts are optional?
2) My second question is where are you in the story I told today?
Share your answers to these questions in my Empty Nest Flock Community at youremptynestcoach.com/community. I look forward to seeing you there, my empty nest friend.
Christine: You’re listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, episode number 2. Is the Empty Nest real? … Hello, my empty nest friend. I am super excited to bring you my next episode. This is actually an early bonus episode to discuss is the empty nest real? Meaning, is it a real thing? What will it mean for you? The great news that I have is that it can mean anything you want it to mean.
Christine: You’re listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, episode number 2. Is the Empty Nest real? This podcast is for you, a mother who years ago walked away from a career to raise your child. Sure, you’ve been busy with volunteering, car pools, maybe part-time work and taking care of everyone. But your main gig, that’s been your child. Now, that they are in their later years of high school, the empty nest looms ahead for you and it’s freaking you out. I’ve been there, and I get it. Together, we’ll turn our freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy.
Hello, my empty nest friend. I am super excited to bring you my next episode. This is actually an early bonus episode to discuss is the empty nest real? Meaning, is it a real thing? What will it mean for you? The great news that I have is that it can mean anything you want it to mean. You can make it mean that you will be lonely. You can make it mean that you will find the new you. You can make it mean that you and your partner will discover that you don’t have anything in common. Of course, these are all thoughts that you can choose to believe, just as easily as you can make it mean that you and your partner will discover everything that you do have in common. If it’s only one thing, you get to decide what that means to you.
Before I dive in, I have a story for you. I used to be a balloon artist. I had purchased a balloon twisting kit one holiday and began to play with it. I found that it fulfilled my creative outlet and it also, was a bit like a puzzle to figure out how much air each balloon needed to make the perfect creation. I did this for a bit, and within my family, I was kind of anomaly. Did you see what Christine made today? All from a balloon kit. She’s playing with those balloons again. She’s funny. Oh, that’s cute. Then I discovered that there was an online community of balloon artists. I went from being the only person I knew learning how to twist balloons, to being one of many who all experienced the same thrill, the same frustrations and more. A bond. We all had it. It felt good to know other people had trouble learning how to break a balloon with their hands. That was a huge win when I figured that one out. It felt good knowing that other humans out there received strange looks for their hobby, too.
Then, I found online lessons, DVDs, and learned from some of the most amazing balloon artists. I even went to multiple conventions. The topic? Yes, balloon artistry. I went from thinking this is a fun hobby to whoa, I can do that? Inspired. There is so much power in being inspired. There’s so much power in knowing you aren’t the only one experiencing whatever it is that you’re experiencing.
I know. At this point, you’re wondering what’s my point? Right? Let’s put a pin in my balloon journey. I guess that would pop it, but let’s hold onto it and look at is the empty nest a real thing? I did a quick Google definition search for empty nest. Google came back with noun, a household consisting only of a parent or parents, whose children have grown up and left home. The example given was her only daughter is about to go to college and she is dreading the empty nest. Are you kidding me? Did Google just call out Coach Christine of two years ago? It sure feels like it, because that was totally me.
I did another search on the empty nest and was brought to an article on Psychology Today Online, about the empty nest. I have a link to this entry on my podcast forum on my website. I would like to share with you some of what’s mentioned in the Psychology Today definition or post – I’m not sure what we’ll call that – titled “Empty Nest Syndrome.” The article states that empty nest syndrome is not a clinical diagnosis. That being said, it does describe a period of time where many humans experience feelings of loneliness or loss. In the article, it also says that empty nest refers to depression, sadness, and a grief experienced by parents and caregivers during this specific transition. While it is more likely to affect women then men, men are not immune to these feelings during the empty nest transition. The post also shares that some ways to combat empty nest syndrome is to discuss your feelings, find social support and work on self-care.
I can’t tell you how excited I was when I read this. As this is what my podcast and my programs are all about. Before even reading this, it was my firm belief that if you are able to learn the tools that I have in this program before your child heads off to school, you will be in great shape for the transition ahead, but so will your child, so will your partner and everyone else around you. There it is. Everything I’ve been my clients. It’s right there, in print, in this article. I’m taking it as affirmation that I’m on the right track. You can take it however you want.
Interestingly enough, the same Psychology Today article states that research has been shown that women have no increase in depressive illness in this stage of life. I’ll be honest, I paused a bit after reading that. I wasn’t quite sure about it. Thinking about it, I believe the point being is that clinical depression is clinical depression, empty nest or no empty nest. Which leads me to put out there, that if you are experiencing clinical depression, please speak to your medical provider about that. Clinical depression is something that could be helped by medication and medical therapies. With that side note out of the way, are you ready to dive in and get started? Because I totally am. I personally can attest to the fact that having support, having a plan on how to proceed, and getting ahead of this transition will help your life. My clients say the same thing.
I’m super excited to offer free support around this podcast on my website. All you need to do is click on the Empty Nest Flock Community link on my website. My website is youremptynestcoach.com and register for an account there. In this Nestling Support Group we will discuss the questions I ask in each podcast episode. Just by being there, you will be reminded that you are not alone in your journey ahead. This is free, just like this podcast. I hope you take advantage of it.
Remember my story of finding my balloon artist peeps? I have amazing memories from every bit of energy I spent with my balloon artist friends. I no longer am in the balloon business for health reasons, but I’m super excited that many of the business skills I learned then, I can use now. I really needed it at that time in my life. I will post a few pictures of my balloon artist days in the Empty Nest Flock support forum for your entertainment.
This is my personal invitation to you, to meet others who aren’t only seeing the empty nest ahead, but they want the years ahead to be their best yet. They see incredible futures ahead for themselves, or they don’t yet, but they want to, and they want to do the same for everyone else they meet. Come on over, youremptynestcoach.com/community. I can’t wait to see you there. The questions we will discuss this week will be:
1) Have you experienced what I did with balloon twisting community, in your life and what was the area?
2) Do you have the support you need for the transition ahead?
With this important episode and invitation complete, my next episode will jump into thoughts. I will be uploading that episode on Friday, which will be my weekly podcast release date going forward. Chat with you next time, my amazing empty nest friend.
Thank you for taking time in your busy day to listen to my podcast. You are the absolute best. I invite you to take a listen to one of my more recent episodes, too, to see how things have progressed since I went live.
My podcast is designed to give you a chance to get to know me before you explore my other resources. I am thrilled to have you here.
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll all the way down ⇓ so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 1. Hello, my empty nest friend. Thank you for taking time in your busy day to check out this podcast! You are the absolute best.
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 1.
I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.
Hello, my empty nest friend. Thank you for taking time in your busy day to check out this podcast!. You are the absolute best. My podcast is designed to give you a chance to get to know me before you join our GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success.
I’m recording this in February of 2020, more than a full year after the first episode‘s release for my podcast. I went back to listen and realized that a lot has changed since that time, and thought that a refresh was needed to accurately reflect my podcast. Should you find any inconsistencies, broken links or major problems with an episode, I invite you to let me know. I’m highly approachable and love it when people take the time to notify me about broken links or concepts that need clarification! Stay tuned to learn how to best reach me.
As a first time listener, you may be wondering why I decided to help mothers afraid of the empty nest ahead. So I will start there.
I walked away from a tech career when my daughter was born. It wasn’t the initial plan for us. But, life happens, and my husband and I were lucky enough to be able to make it work on one income, with some adjustments for our lifestyle. I would like to note that I do know that not everyone has that option in their life. I appreciate that we, as a family, were able to have that lifestyle for years, more than words can say.
Anyway, I had some part-time gigs here and there throughout our daughter’s formative years, but for the most part, my primary job was to take care of her and all that that meant as we navigated through parenthood. To be transparent, we did have an unusual path in that our daughter went off to college four years early, and out-of-state, too.
So, when some kind souls mentioned how lucky we were to be nearing the empty nest, I had a bit of a meltdown inside.
No, you wouldn’t have known it to look at me, but – wow – my thoughts were beating me up inside and with having to deal with it four years early, there were some anxiety laden fears there. While I knew that our daughter heading to this specific college at this specific time was the right thing for her – I had no doubts about that. I needed it to be right for me, too. I did not want her heading off to college being worried about mom.
Something to note that the year before she left for college, we were together a ton (her and I). She was homeschooled and attended a local community college her final year. So, I went from having her around all of the time: having great conversations in the car almost daily, to having her four states away. [reaction] This meant it was time for me to strategically dig in to work on myself.
As a loyal listener of Brooke Castillo’s podcast, The Life Coach School, for years, I began doing more than “just listening” to her podcast and actually applied her teachings to my life. I, later, found the work of Eckhart Tolle – specifically, his book – The Power of Now – to provide a much-needed step in my empty nest journey.
Through the work on my thoughts and my presence, I have created a toolbox of resources specifically for mothers who are on their journey through the empty nest transition. I call it the GPS toolbox, and if applied to your life, this toolbox will serve as a path on your journey ahead.
All of the resources within the GPS Toolbox would not exist without the initial teachers who I haven’t even had the pleasure of meeting: Brooke Castillo and Eckhart Tolle. They have been the ones I resonated the most with, who had tools available when I needed them and have been master-teachers through the growth in my life. A life that now has a level of peace that is indescribable and beautiful.
So I would like to thank both Brooke and Eckhart! While they don’t know me, they have changed my life.
My empty nest friend, with time and a whole lot of simmering, I have been able to improve my life in ways I never could have imagined. I’ve had experiences that past me wouldn’t have even been able to dream about as being possibilities in my life. Yes, this has taken consistent work in my life but my empty nest friend, it has been soooo worth it.
If you now make the life empowering decision to dive in and listen to my podcast, you will have a front row seat to the journey of my own simmering where in the first year of podcasting, I went from firmly using tools and resources from other teachers to developing new concepts that resonate with my gps flock: concepts like simmering, leveling up, your protector, and more.
Now, at the start of year two in my podcasting journey, I introduce you to the idea of becoming the CEO of Your Life. I have had the privilege of watching my clients use these analogies, tools and resources to gain empowerment in their own life. My goal for you is for you to discover your superpower that already lies within you.
I 100% believe you can.
You are amazing. And if you don’t believe that about yourself yet, use my belief in you.
You absolutely are amazing, I will show you how to illuminate your mind in a way that will allow you to discover future-you – she’ll be your GPS for your life. She is freaking amazing and she will be the best guide for you in your years ahead. After all, she knows you better than anyone else on this planet.
06:18Through my work that I will share with you through this podcast and through the GPS Support Flock, I have been able to thrive while my daughter headed off to college, start this business, begin this podcast, lose forty plus pounds (and I’m still going on that one), enjoy my day job as I build my new business, step out of my comfort zone, reconnect with my partner and more.
I share all of this with you in the hopes that it inspires you.
Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can.
I will never tell you it’s easy. Sure, the concepts are simple but, we’re going against programming that we’ve been taught since we were born. So, it’s work! I have no doubt, though, that you can do it. You, my friend, you are worth doing this work, to discover who you are outside of the role of mom; to discover how amazing you are; and to discover how to dream again.
The best part of all of this is that as you work on yourself – and I mean this, you need to work on yourself. You’re not going to apply these principles to your partner and your children. It’s for you. [laugh] – But, as you do this, you’ll see improvements with all of your relationships: your children, your partner, coworkers, your friends. It is incredible.
So to recap: It is my passion to work with mothers of high school students (and beyond) who are in the trenches with sad and possibly overwhelming thoughts about what life will look like when their “baby” heads to college and begins to leave the nest. Their big question: What will I do with my time?
Empowering these amazing women in writing the next jaw-dropping amazing chapter of their lives fulfills my purpose. I am energized by leading their process of exploration and am thrilled when they unlock the power – their super power – that lies within them.
If what I just said resonates with you, then congratulations, this podcast is my gift to you!
I release a new episode every Friday by 6AM Eastern Time! And at the very end of most episodes, you’ll find bloopers – because, after all, we need to keep life fun and real.
Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to every member of my GPS Support Flock. I invite you to fly on over to my website, or see my show notes, for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Support Flock member, where you will gain access to all of my programs, monthly workshops, group coaching, and more. See you there!
I invite you to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast app – should you have no idea what I’m talking about then reach out to me and ask! I’m happy to walk you through it.
You may email me at christine at youremptynestcoach dot com or leave a message (audio or text) via google voice!
I can’t wait to see what you do my empty nest friend, and remember, YOU. ARE. AMAZING!
This was originally posted on an old blog of mine in June of 2017.
I went on a walk/kind-of-a-jog, this morning, and kept seeing thistle plants.
I got all metaphorical looking at them. I mean, here is a tough plant. Considered a weed around here, it has solid stalks that hold the flowers in place as they sit in a variety of stages of life. A few ends are not even open yet, some are in full blossom, and others have turned brown and have served their purpose. A lone bee sits on one end gathering pollen, and I can’t help but see my life in this plant.
The stages of life that are ending; careers and jobs that have served me well; friendships that may have had their season; the journeys that are about to begin; and the life experiences that keep me grounded through the happy and the suck moments in life.
It is easy to get caught up in the moments at the end of the flower but remembering the big picture and that it all fits together (even though I may not see it now), can keep me grounded and make the next season even better.
Hmmm, this is apparently where my mind goes when I don’t listen to podcasts.
You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.