Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, episode number 3, Empty Nest Prep, part 1, Your Thoughts. … Today’s topic is your thoughts. This part one of a five-episode series titled “Empty Nest Prep.” These five episodes are the base level material of everything that I teach.
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, episode number 3, Empty Nest Prep, part 1, Your Thoughts. This podcast is for you, a mother who years ago walked away from a career to raise your child. Sure, you’ve been busy with volunteering, car pools, maybe part-time work and taking care of everyone. But your main gig, that’s been your child. Now, that they are in their later years of high school, the empty nest looms ahead for you and it’s freaking you out. I’ve been there, and I get it. Together, we’ll turn our freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy.
Hello, my empty nest friend. Episode 3, I am super excited. I think every episode I’m going to be super excited because I still can’t believe this. I’m recording this in December of 2018 and was just thinking this morning that I began working on this project in July. Five months. I remember putting on paper that I would go live with the podcast in 2019. It freaked me out, just a bit, to see it in writing, so I coached myself through it. I made a plan, and despite having a full-time job, I figured out how to make it happen. It is a lot of extra hours, which means it’s really tough for me to get much done around the house. Thankfully, I have a fantastic partner, who recognized my passion and said I’ll take care of everything else. I know I’m crazy lucky. This is a huge shout out to my husband, Don, who may never listen to this, but I want you, my listener to know, that he is an incredibly huge part of me being here. I hope that you find this podcast to be a place of inspiration and of encouragement to you. I also hope that it reminds you that you’re not alone in your transition ahead.
You may never purchase a program from me. You and I may never meet in person and that’s totally okay. I want you to know that you aren’t alone and that you should absolutely use all of the free resources I provide, as much as possible. That is why I am putting them out there. They are my gift to you. Please use them and let me know if you find them helpful.
Did it really take me this long to get to the topic at hand? I guess so. Today’s topic is your thoughts. This part one of a five-episode series titled “Empty Nest Prep.” These five episodes are the base level material of everything that I teach. It all starts with a visualization I have to share with you. I’d like you to imagine your mind as a house. This house has rooms in it, of course. It also has a front door and a back door. Let’s start with picturing it empty, nothing in it. Which, as we’ll discover, is not what our mind is like, nor would we want it to be.
You have an image of an empty house. Imagine that you get a delivery. Your doorbell rings and you answer it. You answer the door, are handed a box, you close the door and read the label. I want you to imagine that that label is a thought that you just had. Are you with me? Your mind is the house in this story, and the delivery is a thought that popped into your mind.
You take a look at the thought written on the box, and maybe it says I’m proud of my child heading off to college. You read it and take it happily into a room and place it down. Before you even get it firmly placed on the floor, the doorbell rings again. It is another thought box that popped into your head. You casually go to the door, grab the box, and see it labeled. It says, I’m going to miss them. You look at the box and read it and feel not so happy any more. You aren’t sure what to do with the box, so you start to walk into a different room, but then, the doorbell rings again. Another box arrives, it is labeled I’m going to be lonely without them. You have feelings showing up that are starting to get a bit more negative. You’re barely done reading this labeled box, when the doorbell rings again. I’m going to have no life without them. Doorbell. My partner and I have nothing in common any more. Doorbell. I have no future.
The doorbell keeps ringing. You can’t keep up. You try to put the boxes in rooms and organize them, but you don’t have the time. There are way too many. In frustration, you give the keys to your house to the delivery person. For this visualization, just assume that you fully trust them. You tell this delivery person, just put the deliveries anywhere you can fit them in my house. Think about this though. You never once took the time to think, wait, I don’t even need to accept these deliveries. You forgot that they are completely optional. Not only that, the sad part is that you get so frustrated with how many thought boxes are in your house, remember this is your mind, that you tell the delivery person to just take some out when the house is full. You don’t even take a moment to look at what boxes are being removed.
You didn’t notice that some really good ones disappeared. The ones that are labeled I am amazing. I am going to do great things. My partner and I will have time to reconnect. Sadly, those thoughts are gone. Are you with me? Do have the visualization that your life is controlled by these thought boxes, AKA your thoughts? When you think about it, you are being bossed around by these thoughts because you never once considered that they were completely optional. My empty nest friend, I am here to tell you that each and every thought you have is optional.
I want you to spend the next few days, weeks, months ahead to take time to notice the thought box deliveries that you allow to enter into your mind. When they arrive, and you are able to notice them, observe them. Write them down, and ask yourself, do I like that thought? This may sound odd or silly to you, but it can be life changing if you get it. We are only beginning to place our toes in the water in this episode.
My next episode we’ll talk about how you treat yourself when the thought appears, and you notice it.
My questions for this week are:
1) Have you considered that your thoughts are optional?
2) My second question is where are you in the story I told today?
Share your answers to these questions in my Empty Nest Flock Community at youremptynestcoach.com/community. I look forward to seeing you there, my empty nest friend.
Be kind to yourself.
You deserve it.
You are amazing.