100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wow - episode 100!

I decided to celebrate this milestone by sharing lessons learned from podcasting, creating a business, and life. 

Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be In it For The Long Haul. Take the amount of time you think it will take, double it, double it again, and then triple it: THAT amount of time. If you are good with THAT amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots, and changes needed along the way."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Wow: episode 100! In celebration, I reflect on best tips for podcasting, creating a business, and life. Enjoy! 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster #PodcastLife #Entrepreneur #LifeTips #Advice

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • My Top Advice for Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do any of these resonate with you? 
  2. Do you have lessons learned to share with others?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 100 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 100: Lessons Learned, Advice I’m Glad I Took or Wish I Had Taken. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! How are you doing today? I am super excited to have this celebration with you today. You know how I like to celebrate things. While I certainly don’t need a party or anything like that, I need to just stop and celebrate the fact that I have consistently put out podcast episodes. I have stayed true to future Christine and I’ve made it here to 100, which isn’t always the case with podcasts. There’s a lot of podfading going on. I’m going to talk a little bit about that today.  

00:01:25

But before we get started, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 100 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P100) I still can’t believe it’s 100. Whoo Hoo! I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:15

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:03:01 

I would like to formally welcome K. Soane, PreKureMe Health Coach, in the USA, into our GPS Support Flock Membership Program. We are incredibly excited that you joined the flock and look forward to your flight to success.

00:03:19

I had a bunch of ideas on what to do with this episode and landed on doing a lessons-learned topic to share with you some things that I’ve learned since starting this podcast, and a couple other areas of my life. It’s a nice time for reflection for me and while they all may not apply directly to you, sometimes you never know what small bit of life-sharing will resonate with you. I am going to give you four lessons-learned in three areas: podcasting, business and life.

00:03:45

First up is podcasting.  Number one, your first episode won’t be your best. Not even close. If you are looking to podcast, please know, going in, that no one is happy with their first episode. You’ll want to redo your early episodes if you go back and listen to them. Just be prepared for that. Remember that done is better than perfection. Meaning if you’re waiting for perfection, or if I had been waiting for perfection, I honestly wouldn’t have an episode out at all, and here I am at 100. So just do it. Jump in and learn as you go. If you don’t believe me and you listen to a podcast of anybody, and they’re in over 100 episodes, go back and listen to their first one and see the difference.

00:04:32

Number two under podcasting: 100 Episodes is a big deal and you’re going to have a different voice at episode 100 than you did in episode 1. Do you know that most podcasters don’t make it past 7 episodes due to podfading? For real. Once the excitement wears off, there is a whole lot of steps that go into every single episode, and you get very little feedback. I’ve mentioned this before, in my episodes, that podcasting can be quite lonely. It isn’t like we have an audience right in front of us where we hear them cry, boo, cheer, laugh, and provide any feedback whatsoever, only a few gem of a human who create reviews for us or who give us a shoutout on social media, that’s really the only way that we get feedback. No going in if you’re a person who needs a lot of feedback. Podcasting might not be the best place for you, at least not initially, until you build that audience.

00:05:32

As I said, hitting 100 episodes is a big deal, if most don’t make it past 7. You get to 25, 50, and then 100, that’s a really big deal. Milestones are important. I remember someone said, I feel like it was Jess and Elsie on ShePodcasts, that they said that most podcasters don’t find their voice and get comfortable until episode 100, and I believe this. I’ve tried things. I’ve had new equipment, tried scripted, not scripted, guests, more guests, no guests. It really isn’t until now that I feel comfortable enough to hit record and not feel completely anxious every time. The anxiety is gone. I’m definitely more me and more comfortable behind the mic, and I’m more willing to just try new things. Change it up. Super fun.

00:06:21

Number three under podcasting, your show is your show. I share this with you because I often see, in some of the podcasting Facebook groups, people will be like, “Hey, I don’t know what to do.  I’m not feeling it anymore.  I think I want to change my topic,” or “I don’t want to have my podcast be weekly anymore.” Your show is your show. You can do whatever you want. That is the beauty of being, well yes, specifically, Independent Podcasters. We can do whatever we want. For a personality like mine, who I really like creative freedoms, but I like somebody to give me a project and let me run with it. I love podcasting.  I love being an Independent Podcaster, where I have full creative control over my show, whatever that means to me. Not only what it means today, but what it means to me tomorrow, what it meant to me yesterday, and those, all three things, can look different. I love that. It’s so worth the work. While yes, it is a lot of work, with your show being your show, you have complete control to change it when you want to or need to, and this is what I love most about podcasting, you sharing your voice with the world. With guests, without guests, with sponsors, without sponsors, you can make it what you want. You can change it 400 times if you want. Sure, people might get annoyed, like it’s a free podcast. Get over it. Really. People love to complain about free stuff, don’t they? Anyway, it’s your show and that is what I love about podcasting. I love it so much. So fun.

00:07:59

Okay, my final podcasting item: bad reviews are a milestone. This is really important if you are about to embark into podcasting or if you just started, or if you have a bunch of bad reviews. Remember, what this means is that it’s no longer only your friends and family listening to your show. You’re actually getting out there. Now, sure, you are going to have trolly people who say something about your giggle, or your laugh, that is just ridiculous. Especially women podcasters, we get stuff about our voices all of the time. But sometimes, those reviews are helpful; they’ll say something about your audio quality, or give you an idea. Take them all with a grain of salt, and remember that it means it’s not just your friends and family listening. Whoo Hoo! 

00:08:47

My next topic is starting a business and having future you in mind. Number one, be in it for the long haul. I’m really serious about this. When you come up with an idea for future you, and maybe it’s a business, maybe it’s a huge project, I want you to take the amount of time that you think it will take you to reach that goal, then, I want you to double it, double it again and then triple it. That amount of time. If you are good with that amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots and changes needed along the way to reach that goal. The journey is so much fun anyway, or if it isn’t, it’s going to be this awful climb. Who wants that? If you are prepared for the long haul, you aren’t going to give up when six months of effort shows one or two true fans. You’ll see you have two fans you didn’t have six months ago. When a system you spent two months learning or pouring money into doesn’t work, you’ll know it was part of a greater learning process. Finding what doesn’t work is sometimes incredibly powerful, and finding that early is a godsend. So yes, be in it for the long haul.

00:10:04

Number two for starting a business: choose time or money. Look, building a business takes time and money. The less money you have, the more time it will take. The more time you have, the less money you’ll need upfront. Just keep that in mind. Take inventory of your resources, and move forward accordingly. Number three, the power in doing things yourself. I’m a firm believer in doing things yourself when you get started. Especially if money’s an issue. If you have the time, use the time to train yourself, to educate yourself, to build your website, so then, when you have the money to hire a web designer or someone to maintain it, you know what skills you’re looking for. I know the tech behind things. I know right away when a salesperson makes an offer to me, if it’s worth it to me, or not. Usually, the answer is, it isn’t. My business, right now, is me and a dear friend who helps me with podcast editing and post-production. So, I know the skills needed when I’m ready to hire out. I have checklists and documentation ready for those new hires too. I’m spending my time doing that. Just ask my helper. I do! Number four, let future you guide you. Truly so powerful. It’s so easy to have shiny-object syndrome as we create businesses, as we create projects, and unless you have your future self guiding you, you’re just going to jump onto the next shiny object, so let future you guide you.

00:11:38

The last topic is life.  Number one, your GPS.  So incredibly important if I could make you understand your GPS internally, like magic, I would do that. Because when you do the work to uncover the future work that inspires you, you won’t need to look outside of yourself for answers. Your internal GPS will be there with you always. Always. So use her. Find her and use her.  Okay? Rant over. Maybe.

00:12:09

Number two, slow and steady. Look, in life, the five years that you take to build your business, lose weight, or create something amazing, seems so far away now. I know, I know. But when you look back you won’t believe how fast the time went and how far you have come, so where do you want to be five years from now? You don’t have to do everything overnight. Number three, mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. You’ll make more progress when you aren’t afraid of them. Number four, nature. This is personal. I love nature. Be in it as much as possible. It grounds you, and rejuvenates you. I’m ending it there, because I’m off to celebrate. If you liked these and are interested in lessons learned in other areas of my life, like particular parenting areas or maybe from my homeschooling mom years, let me know!

00:13:01

Of course, should you want to discuss any of these more with me, I invite you to join the GPS Support Flock Membership program. I have a discussion space for every episode. Fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community to join today, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me with the words Flock membership. I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend!

[Music]

00:13:28

The questions I have for you in this episode are, do any of these resonate with you? Do you have lessons learned to share with others? If you do, make sure you send it in for a Quick Tip.

[Music]

00:13:43

Today’s quick tip has been submitted by Dale Troy. Had I been a tad more organized, I would have included her tip last week which was on your anxiety about your child heading back to school in the fall. Dale and I are on the same page, of course. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Dale!

[Music]

00:14:02

Dale:  This is Dale Troy. I’m a college success coach and the founder of Crush College Stress. My tip today is for your college students who are at home, worrying about what college is going to be like in the fall. Some colleges have announced that they plan to reopen. Others have announced that they’ll continue with online classes, but many colleges haven’t even communicated their plan yet. It’s no surprise then, that your college students are feeling anxious, disappointed and even angry.

00:14:36

How can you help your college students? First give them some perspective. It’s always better to focus on what you can control, rather than on what you have no control over. Since reopening, continuing with online classes, or something in between, is the college’s decision, your college student shouldn’t be spending hours complaining or trying to figure out what will happen. It’s much better to be patient, be flexible, and be resilient.

00:15:05

Second, your college student should start thinking about what their goals are for the fall. If they’re going to attend college, they need to have the right attitude. The format may not be perfect. It may not be what they expected, but they can still get a lot out of the semester. The first step is knowing what they want to accomplish, what they want to learn, and what they want to experience. If they don’t have any goals, they won’t be able to take full advantage of what their college does offer.

00:15:33

Third, your college student should practice reducing their stress on a daily basis. There are many simple ways they can feel more calm and more in control. Here are some suggestions: practice guided meditation, using an app on their phone; write in a gratitude journal, three things they are grateful for each day; take a walk in nature, or listen to calming music with their eyes closed. If your college student implements all three strategies, I’m sure they will feel a whole lot better about their situation.

[Music] 

00:16:08

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Don’t you dare let the world allow you to forget that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still Listening?]

[End]

99: Anxiety Around My Child Going Back To School

99: Anxiety Around My Child Going Back To School

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I know it is June, but with colleges beginning to announce their 2020 fall plans, I've heard parent concerns in all areas:

  • I hope they aren't online only!
  • I'm worried about them going back!
  • I'm concerned about it all!

Let's chat a bit about that today, and try an activity. 

Sample

Activity worksheet sample: available to print in the GPS Support Flock.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"You have the choice to resist a situation or to process through feelings and move on. BUT, until you know what is ahead, enjoy where you are now."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Have anxiety about the fall semester for your child? Coach Christine has an activity for you! 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster #CollegeParent

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A New Activity To Try And To Consider For Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Use Presence As A Reset
  • To Work On Processing Through Your Emotions

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you able to make fall plans for your family members as of yet?
  2. How are your thoughts about fall plans that may exist?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

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Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 99 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 99: Anxiety Around My Child Going Back to School. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I hope that you are able to gift yourself with time to work on finding your future self, work on clearing up your thoughts in your days, process through emotions and do the work to uncover your future self. You are so worth it. A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode;  if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 99 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P99) I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:58

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:46

As I record this, it’s mid-June 2020, some of our children know what their school has planned for them in the fall, some of our children do not. Some schools will be in session, in-person. Some schools will not: elementary, high school, or college. The anxiety around what could happen is real and if left unchecked, could add more stress to you and your household than you already have. In this episode, we are going to assume that your thought deliveries are out of control when you think about your child going back to school.

00:03:19

A couple of things to keep in mind is to please remember that no matter what is announced right now, more than likely your child’s school is still working out thousands of details to make it all happen, whatever the plan is. So if you only get an email with some dates, and a line that says “more details coming soon,” understand that in most cases, the details aren’t known yet, but you’ll know eventually. Also remember that even though it was announced (if it was), things can change. 2020 is the year of pivot, after all, isn’t it? so don’t be surprised if things change yet again.

00:03:57

Now for you, my friend, this is a perfect opportunity to work on training your Protector, on using tools in your CEO toolbox and to work on presence. I cover these in two series on my podcast and you’ll find the links to both in my show notes.  I could just leave it there and end the episode but, how about I give you a new activity to do, that if it works for you, you can add to your toolbox? I want you to discover your main thoughts about your child returning to school and to dig deep on whether or not they are true, and I want you to consciously consider if the thoughts you are having are worth having in this present moment.

00:04:40

GPS Flock Members, I’ll have a PDF for you in our space, if you would like to print it out. If you aren’t a flock member, you may use any piece of paper. At the top of the paper, I want you to write “Back to School.” Then draw two lines to section the paper into quarters. For each quarter I want you to write in the center, at the top of that box, an emotion that you are feeling. Do three of these and in the bottom left corner box I’d like you to write “Peaceful” at the top of that box, no matter what. I’m challenging you here, and I’d like you to write it down even though you may not feel that way.

00:05:16

For each box, I’d like you to then do the part of our CEO Analysis tool where we work through describing how the emotion feels in your body, whether it is positive or negative and give it a number from 1-10, gut reaction there. I’d also like you to consider if this box allows you to move forward in your life at all.  If it does, put a checkmark on it. If you only have one emotion that you’re feeling, that’s totally fine. You’ll have your emotion box then, and the peaceful box in the bottom right. Now, fill in the peaceful box. Pretend for a moment that you are peaceful, and imagine how you would feel if you felt that way. Fill in how your body would feel, whether it’s positive or negative and on a scale from 1-10.

00:06:04

When you’re done. I’d like you to turn the page over and walk away from it. If those emotions come up while you’re away from it, remind yourself that you wrote them down, and can jump into them at any time. But for now, you are going to be present. Go to a place where you can calmly focus on presence. If you’ve never done this before, start with only two minutes. If you’ve done it often, try five or ten. Focus on details of your body, your surroundings. Use all of your senses, or use a sense that you don’t think about normally, maybe it’s something you smell in the air. Look for details that you wouldn’t have noticed had you not gifted yourself with this time. You could look deeply at the wrinkles on your hand, and count them. You could smell the air around you. You could consider your posture and see if you can feel energy within your body. These are just examples. For me, I like to go outside, sit in the grass and look at leaves on trees.

00:07:07

When you feel you’ve had enough time, either go back to the paper that you had started, or if you feel peaceful and want to let it go at that, let it go. There really are no rules here. At some point, you’ll probably head back to that sheet. If you easily find yourself back in one of the emotions that you listed on that sheet, when you think about your child heading back to school, or not heading back to school, whatever the fall looks like for them, then give yourself permission to sit in that emotion. Know you are strong enough to get to the other side of it. Allow yourself the gift of processing through the emotion. While you are in this emotion, see if you can find the primary thought that is causing it for you. Write down the thought if you do. Put it right in that box. Then ask yourself if the thought is true, and is there anything in this moment that you can do about it? 

00:08:05

When you feel you’ve gone through the emotion, and feel you can move on, either gift yourself with more presence, as like a break, or head to the peaceful box on that same page, and write down a thought that you can believe that moves you to more peaceful than you are now. It doesn’t have to be fully peaceful. You’re just taking a baby-step forward.  So write down a thought that you can believe that moves you to more peaceful than you are now.  These baby-steps are powerful. 

00:08:38

Work through this page as you feel led, giving yourself permission to sit in the emotions that you feel, to adjust as you progress, and gift yourself with presence time when you feel confusion about the topic. When you begin to look at the page with clarity on thoughts and can begin to see action items, turn the page over and write the action items down. Any action item should be placed on your calendar with a time to do it, meaning, I’m going to do this on Tuesday, and give myself an hour. Recognizing that that is enough in this moment.

00:09:13

Let’s be real for a moment, none of us knows what the future holds. I think 2020 has proven that. Could your child get the coronavirus and bring it home? Yes, and also no. Both are a possibility. Educating yourself and your child on best practices is about all you can do. Unless your child never leaves the house, the possibility is there, school or no school. Could your child’s school be all online? Sure, it might be, but I know you and your child will be able to handle the change if it comes to that. It may not be what you want, or what they want, or what anyone wants, but life isn’t guaranteed to be what we want. It isn’t guaranteed to be easy, either. Look, life is going to have things that aren’t pleasant. It happens but why live in those moments before they happen?  They might not even happen.

00:10:06

You have the choice to resist a situation or to process through feelings and move on. But until you know what is ahead 100 percent, enjoy where you are now. Enjoy your children being home, if they are, because I’m willing to bet that if they’ve been home for months on end, they aren’t going to rush home anytime soon once they are able to leave.  Prepare the best you can, but also find peace where you can. Allow yourself the gift of feeling your feelings. You are worth it. Keep in mind that your worry over what may happen isn’t helping anyone, especially you. So rather than living in the what-ifs, live in the now with conscious time spent on how to move forward. 

00:10:52

Of course, should you need assistance with navigating your thoughts with this, I am available to the GPS Support Flock Members in multiple ways:  workshops, group support calls, forum questions and more. I have created an online quiz for you to discover if the Support Flock is a good fit for you. If you are curious, fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for the quiz and another community option for my podcast listeners. Or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me with the words “Flock membership.” I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend! [Music] 

00:11:33

The questions I have for you in this episode are: are you able to make fall plans for your family members as of yet? How are your thoughts about fall plans that may exist? [Music]

00:11:52

My Empty Nest friend, we have two quick tips coming to you from a couple of my 2020 Quick Tips Team members: the amazing Susan Stevens and Deirdre Dolan Nesline. You’ll absolutely be able to tell that they both submitted these tips before social distancing. But, here’s the thing, podcasts are out here for a long time, so my hope is that one day they both will make perfect sense again. As I record this, hair salons aren’t allowed to be open. I’m desperately waiting for Susan’s to open so I can get my hair cut. Anyway, thanks for your tips, Susan & Deirdre! [Music] 

00:12:28

Susan:  Susan Stevens, passionate, professional hairstylist, 25 years. My best anti-aging advice, book a consultation at a salon for a new style. Get your hair cut, add some color. Talk to your salon professional about using a dry shampoo and not shampooing every day. Spring is around the corner, and change is truly empowering. [Music]

00:12:54

Deirdre:  Hi, it’s Deirdre from Declutter by Deirdre, and the Magnificent Aging podcast. My tip for this month is donate your gardening equipment and the tools that you’re no longer using to a volunteer chore service or an organization like HomeFront or Habitat for Humanity. Big and small workable tools that will help them restore someone’s home to a clean, safe dwelling are appreciated, and bonus, if you’re lonely or bored, volunteer with some of these organizations and make some caring friends.  Thanks so much for listening. I appreciate you. [Music]

00:13:42

Christine:  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Never forget, my friend, that you are amazing! See ya!

[End]

[Bloopers / Still Listening]

[End]

98: How to Deal with Difficult People

98: How to Deal With Difficult People

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I recorded this episode a few weeks ago. Created for the moments in your life where other humans rub you the wrong way: when you know you have to work around them (or with them), and something about them pushes your buttons.

To be clear, I would not use this process for racist, abusive, or anti-humanity situations.

But for those button-pushers that you need to navigate around in your life, seeking peace within yourself isn't meant to help them, it is to help you. Imagine finding different ways to navigate your interactions going forward. We don't learn these things to quickly tell our friends and family how to do things better so they'll be a better person. Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

No, WE change how we handle things, and then others may want to know more - or they won't - either way, you have more peace in your life. Life gets interesting when peace is within you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Another human in your life is always outside of your fence. You can’t control them. You can’t control their thoughts or actions. What you CAN control is your thoughts about them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

That person that ALWAYS rubs you the wrong way - just by showing up? Someone come to mind? Then, this episode is for you: How to Deal with Difficult People 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • How to use the concept of a protector to view others differently
  • To remember to protect your energy - and those problematic humans may disappear on their own

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Who did you have in mind when you began listening to this episode? 
  2. How may you picture their protector in a way to provide peace in your life?

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Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 98 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 98: How to Deal With Difficult People. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I’m going to share some personal updates and changes around the podcast with you before I dive on into the topic of this episode. If you want to skip this part, skip ahead a bit. I was all ready to get back into the quick tips episodes but then I realized how much time I was spending on them; a lot of time. I do everything on these episodes, from emailing the team to gather submissions, editing through all post-production including all the social media posts. Here is the thing, I do really enjoy that work, probably because I’m collaborating with a lot of amazing women, but I spent some time recently checking in with future Coach Christine and guess where I ended up? I was led to this statement: let it go, Christine, so that you can spend your time being the best coach and serving others well.

00:01:37

It also became apparent to me that I was unconsciously using this work for the Quick Tips Episodes as a time filler, or almost as an excuse or buffer. Have you been there before?  Meaning that, if I’m not successful in my coaching plans, then I could always blame the time I put into this as why I wasn’t successful. Oh, my goodness!  Have you ever immediately known the answer to something, but because of promises you had already made or because you know it’s going to make you super uncomfortable, you decide to still keep on doing what you are doing? Yes, it happens to me, too, and I want to share those moments with you, because these are the moments where we learn the most about ourselves.  These are the moments where we have the ability to level up. After a few weeks of checking in with myself, doing thought work, working on my CEO Toolbox, I’ve decided to let go of the Quick Tips episodes. Originally, I was going to do two more in June, but alas, they are no more. It feels really good, too.  Once you work through it, get to the other side, it’s like yes, I’ve committed to myself.  This is great.

00:02:47

It was meant to be a year-long experiment.  Well, that’s ending early. I’m really happy with the results, and the work. It is a bittersweet goodbye to a project that I’m crazy proud of. Now, if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, all hope is not lost.  What I’m going to do is have a brand new section of my Friday episodes for these. Today is our first one. Let me know what you think of the new section.

00:03:10

On another note, if you would like to be a guest on this podcast, I’m looking for listeners who have applied lessons from the podcast and would like to share your voice and experience with others. Is this you? Reach out to me, today. A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback, either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. 

Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:03:59

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:04:43

To continue some thank yous, one of my clients sent me this recently. 

“So glad to have your podcasts and love the way you’ve adapted to the "not so empty nest". You have been of TREMENDOUS help and I've applied your advice and approach with great success. I am starting a part time job that is exactly what I have dreamed of!! Can't believe it. Applying the idea of keeping the "protectors" at bay was very instrumental. (Long-winded note - but I really want to share with you how valuable your support and overall approach has been from the very beginning)."

Thank you, amazing lady, for your continued encouragement. You know who you are. 

00:05:32

[Birds chirping] 

Ah, isn’t it wonderful that your life is peaceful? It is incredible that you don’t have a single person that ever drives you crazy, grates on your nerves, annoys you, or you simply can’t stand. That you shower every human you meet with patience, grace, mercy and love. How can you not love them?  They are a beautiful human and wonderful.

00:06:04

[Rolling thunder]

Okay, back to reality. I’m going to make the assumption today that what I just described to you sounds like a fantasy-land. That you can’t imagine anyone living like that. I’m also going to assume that you do have a handful of individuals in your life who you would consider to be difficult to be around. If that sounds more like your life, then this episode is for you. If you are a loyal listener, I’m willing to bet you already know where this is headed, but I want to give you extra imagery to assist you in moving forward. To assist you when you do, heaven forbid, run into difficult humans. 

00:06:44

I will be using vocabulary in this episode that I use often, but may be new to you, should you be a newer listener. If the mention of thought-deliveries, your Protector, and the fence that you have in your life makes you wonder what I’m talking about, I recommend that you check out some of my earlier series of episodes for clarification on how I use these terms. Links are in my show notes. High-level, though, and a quick refresher for everyone: your thoughts are something you choose. Imagine that your mind is like a house; that it’s fenced in. Imagine also, that you have a Protector, a security guard of sorts, who protects your mind’s property, everything you can control in your life. 

00:07:26

Your Protector distributes your thought-deliveries and does one of three things: handles the thought-delivery for you; provides you with a status report on what has arrived; or forces the thought-deliveries into your property, making that all that you see. How your protector handles your thought-deliveries has everything to do with how well you have trained them. Ultimately though, you control everything within your fence, and that is all you control. 

00:07:54

With that high-level review, let's return to the difficult people in your life. There are two things at play here, one, your thought delivery about the difficult person and two, other humans have their own Protector. Let’s look at your thought-deliveries first, since that is what we are able to control. Remember, another human in your life is always outside of your fence. You can’t control them; you can’t control their thoughts or their actions. What you can control is your thoughts about them. If the moment they appear in your life, you have thoughts such as: she drives me crazy; he is awful; this human gets on my nerves so bad; why are they so annoying; I can’t stand them. Well, my friend, those are all thoughts. Thought-deliveries that your Protector has marked high priority and forced in for you to open and deal with. Ask yourself if any of those thought-deliveries bring a positive sensation to you?

00:08:49

Actually, try something for me? Imagine a rock; a smooth grey rock. You find it on the ground. You pick it up, and think to yourself, this is a lovely rock. How do you feel imagining this? 

Now, what if you picked it up the same rock but this time think to yourself, I can’t stand rocks. Do you have a different sensation? I sure do, and it’s a rock. It hasn’t done anything to me outside of being a rock. With that rock in mind, imagine the thought-deliveries you label around difficult humans, and the impact it has upon your life. The rock isn’t impacted by your thought, and neither is the difficult human. Also, the moment you label someone as difficult, you’ve jumped right from a human being outside of your fence all the way into your thought-delivery and sensation. We can assume that your Protector is not well trained.

00:09:46

Understand that there’s a difference between observing Jane Doe as talkative, and then finding a thought around it, versus observing Jane Doe and thinking she’s annoying. Another thing, did you, by any chance, notice that one of the thought-deliveries that I listed initially is a question? We have to be very careful with questions sent in as thought-deliveries, and should train our mind to return those to sender immediately.

00:10:15

The question was, “Why are they so annoying?” My friend, your brain is an amazing machine and it wants to serve you well. If you ask it a question, it’s going to try to find an answer for you, so when you ask it, “Why is Jane Doe so annoying,” guess what you’re going to get back? All the reasons you can find that makes Jane Doe a nightmare for you to deal with. If you were instead, to catch yourself in something like this and flip the question around to say, “What are strengths that Jane Doe has?” or “What challenges does Jane Doe have in her life that I can assist her with?” Now you are putting your brain to work for good. Let’s save our mind’s energy for consciously choosing to solve things in our life that impacts us the greatest.

00:11:03

Now to pop back to the second concept at play, when we have “difficult” people in our lives. If you are still listening, you more than likely understand your Protector and how to (or that you should) train them, which allows you to keep in mind that other humans have a Protector, also. This allows you to lighten up your interactions with your designated humans and I encourage you to have fun with this. Remember, most humans have no clue that they have a Protector of sorts. They are not present enough in their life to observe their thoughts, to consider their thoughts as optional, which means they live in an obscured, reactive mode most of their life. They react to others without any thought as to the why. Sometimes they react a certain way because that is what they are supposed to do, it may not even be a conscious choice for them. 

00:11:58

You can understand this because you lived most of your life living this way, and you now see the impact this, and knowing this, has made into your life. Knowing that Jane Doe coming up to you and you don’t have to think she’s an awful human, you can choose a different thought.  That, my friend, is life-changing. I share this with you not for you to start going around and telling people everywhere that they have a Protector and that they better start proper training to get a handle on their life. No. This isn’t something you can throw at someone, run away and expect change. I mean, I guess you can do that, but it’s not something I recommend. 

00:12:37

I say this often, but remember this work is your work. Those other humans are outside of your fence. You can’t make them understand this and you certainly can’t make them want to hear it. What you can do is begin to be curious about their Protector. Keep it to yourself, in your mind.  Begin to notice that the difficultness you see in them isn’t them. It isn’t their underlying essence of who they are. Actually, they probably have no idea who that would even be if you asked them.  No, you have the pleasure of interacting with their Protector who is on high-alert, takes their job seriously, and bosses them around. Which allows you to approach your future interactions with this human in some new ways to make your life more peaceful. 

00:13:28

One way is that you can find a way to imagine their Protector in a way that makes you love who the person is underneath, in a way that helps you to want to know more, to listen and to reach out.  This is all for you to keep to yourself. For some people, I’ll imagine a five-year-old in a sandbox throwing sand. They think that sandbox is all they have and they are protecting their work, not knowing that there is a whole huge world outside of that sandbox, and thank goodness it’s only sand they are throwing. For others, I imagine a flat-out bully for their Protector. I imagine that the human underneath is cowering in a corner, afraid to push back on their Protector because if they did they might have to face who they are, and they have no idea who that would be. You can imagine anything you want here. The goal is to bring peace to your life, friend. That is what this is for, not to have the knowledge to educate them. Tricky, isn’t it? 

00:14:31

The second thing you can do when imagining another human’s Protector is to remember that when their Protector comes at you, they are looking for energy. Their Protector wants to prove their worth; to let their human know that they do such an incredible job that they’ll always need them.  Should you now begin to react differently to this Jane Doe human, and provide them with no energy back, their Protector will become bored with you and will search out others to kind of feed off of in a way.  Isn’t there a book out now about energy vampires? There is a character in the show “What We Do In The Shadows” who is an energy vampire, and his introduction to the office I found hysterical. It is like that though. Imagine that their Protector is normally on high-alert with you.

00:15:23

The Protector is the one you deal with after all, and that that Protector is looking for reasons to send thought-deliveries to their human who they protect, but if you stop giving them reason to do so, one of two things will happen.  One, the human will go find someone else to be around (you won’t even have to ask them to leave, it will happen. It’s looking for other energy). Two, the human’s protector will be curious, and maybe confused, and you may find, over time, that your relationship with this other human completely changes in a positive way. As someone who has been noticing this for a while now, what is super interesting to me is the people who will disappear from your life and the people who will change naturally. It is absolutely fascinating.

00:16:12

My theory, after seeing this enough in my life and in my client’s lives, is that those who move quickly to others are so controlled by their Protector that they can’t for a moment consider anything else, and all they know is that you aren’t providing them with the energy you used to. Life, everyday life, becomes entertaining when you begin to see Protectors for others. Some lovingly hug their human and respect their human knowing they know what is best. Others are a big old bully. They are ten feet ahead of their human clearing the way for anything that could possibly be an obstacle for them. No one, not even that human, knows who is behind them.

00:16:55 

Between that image and the image of different Protectors, yes, I’ve been highly entertained. There are days, of course, when I forget all of this and react. But thankfully, the change, of course, is usually fairly quick now, because I see the energy exchange clearly, and it becomes much more fun to throw people off course with unexpected reactions, than to hand them over control of my emotions and to give them energy that reactively comes right back to me. Give it a try. Let me know if anything in this resonates with you. Also, please notice that I didn’t title this episode abusive people. I titled it difficult people. So use this in relationships that test you, and that you are stuck in for now, to gain peace in your life.  With this knowledge and the ability to set boundaries for yourself, there is a chance that you will gain clarity on relationships that you have been confused about to date. This takes time though, friend, so have fun with it, don’t be surprised when relationships change, and see where it takes you.

00:17:59

Of course, should you need help with this, I am available to the GPS Support Flock Members in multiple ways:  workshops, group coaching, forum questions and more. I have also created an online quiz for you to discover if the Support Flock is a good fit for you. If you are curious, fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for the quiz and another community option for my podcast listeners, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me the words Flock membership and I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend! [Music]

00:18:37

The questions I have for you in this episode are, who did you have in mind when you began listening to this episode? And, how may you picture their Protector in a way to provide peace in your life? 

00:18:52

Christine? Christine? Christine? Where are you? Have you had a chance to read Judy Holland’s book: Happinest: Finding Fulfillment When Your Kids Leave Home? I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to review her book, and found my name on the back cover as an endorsement. How fun is that? Judy has expertly curated information for anyone adjusting to the empty nest. Definitely check it out. Link will be in my show notes. Hashtag, not an affiliate. [Music]

00:19:29

My Empty Nest friend, today’s quick tip comes from Laurie of Travel Tips by Laurie. Her tips were submitted before our physical restrictions went into place, and as someone who follows Laurie, I can tell you if you are looking for the most recent updates to airline travel, definitely follow her. She has up to date information. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Laurie. 

[Music]

00:19:57

Laurie:  Hi, Christine.  I thought some of your empty nesters have saved money to spread their wings, now that their kids are spreading their wings.  I have six travel tips and tricks for hotel rooms, in case they want to now visit their kids or visit the world.  I’m a Houston-area pilot’s wife, and I share tips and tricks on my “Travel Tips by Laurie” Youtube channel to help people travel the globe without a worry in the world.

00:20:22

My brilliant subscribers have shared their travel hacks with me, and I have learned some from the many mistakes I have made while traveling.  The number one tip or trick for a hotel room is to use the paper coffee cup in your hotel room for makeup brushes.  Just put them in a plastic baggy, in your suitcase, and then when you get in the hotel room, just drop them in that paper coffee cup.  Number two is a travel hack that a mother of three grown daughters gave to me. This hack is to use the ironing board as an extension of your countertop for your toiletries, your makeup, a curling iron, but be sure to use a washrag or a towel to cover up that ironing board, in case someone’s trying to iron a white shirt later, and they’ll get makeup on it.  My pictures and my videos do this a lot more justice.

00:21:11

The number three travel hack is to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob, even when you’re touring the city, to deter burglars, because they think you’re in your room, when really, you’re out touring, but you’ve put that Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob. The fourth travel hack is to point your shoes in the direction of the nearest stairwell, in case there’s heavy smoke from a fire in the middle of the night, you know where that elevator is, but you might not be thinking clearly in the middle of the night to remember which stairwell is the closest.

00:21:42

Number five is to use the hotel dry cleaning plastic bag to pack your bathing suit, or hiking shoes that are still wet, and my favorite travel hack of all times is number six, and that’s to use the pants coat hanger to keep your hotel curtains closed, so that that bright sunshine light does not wake you in the morning when you wake up.  You can find me on Youtube at “Travel Tips by Laurie.”  I hope these help.  Thanks again, Christine.

[Music]

00:22:09

Christine:  Well my empty nest, CEO of Your Life, friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. I saw writing in the sky today that told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wrapping up the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I share about the importance of a well-curated toolbox. For best results, your CEO toolbox must contain resources chosen specifically for you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids - if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Is the toolbox for your life well stocked? Do you have the band-aids and the cures inside?  Take a listen to this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast!  💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #lifetoolbox #emptynestcoach

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Your Foundational Level Items
  • To Begin to Fill Your Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) Toolbox
  • To Periodically Inventory Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Consider Drawing a Picture of Your Toolbox

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How is the inventory in your CEO Toolbox? 
  2. Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

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Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 96 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox of your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast in this episode, making this episode a bit more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through. 

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take an opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course, I will always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 96 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P96) I can’t wait to hear from you! [Music]

00:01:54

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:37

It’s time to wrap-up this series: the Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox series of episodes. We’ve discussed why consciously having a toolbox is helpful in your life. We’ve discussed what to store in that top, removable tray,of your toolbox, and we are working now on those tools that you always want with you, those that are in the base level, or foundational-level of your toolbox. Your CEO toolbox is for you to stock, so ultimately what you put inside is completely up to you. The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids, if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you.

00:03:27

In my foundational-level, of my toolbox, I have presence, the CEO Analysis Tool, Flock Support, and in the rest of the space, other items that work specifically for me. I want you to spend time figuring out what works best for you. We all have different strengths, different gifts, and different ways in which we learn best, so me prescribing items to put in your foundational-level, may make you throw the whole thing out if one item doesn’t work for you. I don’t want to be a part of that possibility for you. 

00:04:02 

Again, this is your toolbox, so stock it with what moves you forward. What serves as band-aids for you? What helps you repair moments, and what moves you closer toward the best version of future-you possible? For me, one of the other items that I have in my foundational-level is my life’s purpose statement. This changes over time, but it is a statement that I say to myself daily, to remind me who future-me is, and why I do what I do. I’ve found that having this statement allows me to be in the right energy for moving forward, for working on myself, for doing daily tasks that otherwise may not be extremely compelling to partake in.

00:04:45

My purpose statement reminds me of who I am. It is written in the present tense and I have modified it countless times to get it to where it is today. It is a continual work in progress. Consider a purpose statement for your life. If you are a GPS Support Flock member, I’m happy to review your purpose statement for you, and give you pointers on how to make it more powerful. If you like the idea of a purpose statement try using one. 

00:05:13

How about journaling? Do you like it? Do you love it? Does it serve a purpose for your life? Morning pages, a bullet journal or whatever format works for you. Be sure it assists you in moving forward, if you’re allowing it to take up space in your life. How about a vision board? Be sure that when you spend time with your vision board that it creates a momentum in your life, rather than creating an awareness of what you currently lack to get to those visions. Does that make sense?  We always want you moving forward. How does that vision board make you feel? 

00:05:46

Maybe for you,  you spend time alone once a year to work on yourself, be it mentally, emotionally or physically, or just being. There is a tremendous amount of power in that. There are no rules, my friend, on what needs to go in your foundational space. If you have no idea where to start, just pick two things. More than a handful of items and you may not know what to use when, but again, this is your toolbox, so you make it what you need it to be. Take inventory periodically of what is in your toolbox, as there are times when tools and resources serve our lives really well, but then, only for a season. Those seasonal items should be cleared out periodically. You may bring them back, but don’t force an item into your box because it appears to work for your best friend. Find what works for you.

00:06:36

If you are the type of person that needs me to give you direction, well then, try having three go-to items in your top-tray of your toolbox and choose two to focus on for your foundational-level, then modify from there. Consider drawing a picture of your toolbox. Label it and picture it in your mind clearly, so that when you feel you need help, you may quickly picture your options, rather than spinning into a frenzy of emotion. Let’s be honest, you may still choose the frenzy of emotion, but consciously choosing it and letting it run you, are different states of energy in your life.  Which do you prefer?

00:07:13

With that, we’ll keep this episode at a high-level and wrap it up, because I’d like to know what sorts of things help you dig deeper within yourself. What helps you to move forward? Do you have anything as of yet? How well stocked is your toolbox, my empty nest friend? 

Of course, we do dive deep into these concepts in our GPS Support Flock Membership with a workshop, worksheets and more. We’d love to have you join us and the flock can slide right into the bottom of your toolbox! [Music]

00:07:43

Two formal questions I have for you in this episode are: How is the inventory in your CEO toolbox? Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox? Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities, and share your answers to these questions with us. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:08:08

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? I visited with Amy Waterman in January. She and I chatted over video. That’s right, you won’t find this conversation on a podcast. You’ll find it on Amy’s website: YourBrilliance.com, or on her YouTube Channel Your Brilliance TV. The title of our talk? “Empty Nest Tips for Rediscovering Yourself with Coach Christine.” Amy is absolutely lovely. I encourage you to check out all of her interviews as soon as you have a chance.

00:08:48

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all. As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Guess what? You are amazing! See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

95: Quick Tips Team: More Than Three Minutes of Planning, Shoes, Whales and Shampooing Through Lockdown Loneliness

95: Quick Tips Team: More Than Three Minutes of Planning, Shoes, Whales and Shampooing Through Lockdown Loneliness

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

We are back with another Quick Tips episode with some 2020 Your Empty Nest Coach Quick Tips Team members and a special guest. Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast, I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast either through SpeakPipe or by calling (or texting) my Google Voice number.. Happy recording, friend!" 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Check out this episode of the Your @emptynestcoach podcast 💚 featuring quick tips from @DClutterDeirdre @MagnifMidlife @ThePlannerFreak @goodgirlstalk & others! #emptynest #EmptyNestMom #ListeningTo#QuickTips #Advice ➡️ 

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"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 95 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #95  of my podcast. 

[Music: Intro]

00:10

I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:47

If this is your first time listening, I invite you to check out my Friday episodes, as well, where I provide bite-sized coaching assistance to guide you along your empty nest transition years - should your nest be not quite as empty as you expected it to be, be sure to check out my twelve episode Not-So-Empty-Nest series that was produced during the start of my social distancing. I hope you and your family are healthy and safe, and that yes, even now, in a world of restrictions, that you discover how amazing you are and find excitement at a level you didn’t know is possible for your years ahead. 

00:01:21

A reminder that a list of all of the Quick Tips Team members and their contact information may be found on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com - look for the Quick Tips Team button  - or menu - on the home page. 

If you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast, I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast either through SpeakPipe or by calling (or texting) my Google Voice number.. Happy recording, friend!

01:50

But, Christine, where are the show notes? Well, that might help you, huh? You’ll find those in the description of this episode - on Apple Podcasts click, “Details”; on Spotify, Click “See More,”: on Overcast press the I for information - button - Get the idea? 

Or, of course, visit my website for full show notes with links to everything we discuss in this episode and a full episode transcription - those reside at your empty nest coach dot com forward slash p for podcast and 95 (for this episode’s number). I can’t wait to hear from you.

02:23

[Music: Sponsor Music] 

Thanks! Thank you. It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest, our GPS Life Principles document - you will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode’s show notes, or fly on over to my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button. See you there! 

03:09

First up today is Jo Davies our Humorous Observations expert: 

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Jo: So we all know Christine is an authority on the whole ‘back to college thing’, and for me, this whole lockdown feels a bit being back at school. You’re forced to be somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, I love my home, but I don't want to be in it all the time and somehow being made to stay at home feels completely different from just choosing to stay at home.

Have to spend all day everyday with the same people. This was a good thing for me at school because I loved my friends, and thankfully I love my family so happy to get to spend this time with them.

You do sports every day: to try and stay fit and also because it's actually a fun thing for us all to do together and gets us outside if we’ve been in for too long.

We seem to be learning something everyday. Not necessarily maths and English, but patience and calm and also in my case that after 10 loaves, I still can't make a baguette. I’ve also learnt that if you live off cake mix and then cake, you will get fat....who knew? My kids have learnt that if you leave things on the top of the dishwasher they won't get clean and that the same applies to leaving washing on the floor by the washing machine.

I have learnt that Duolingo thinks that I am 6% Spanish, but no one else does and that 6% is about as Spanish as I’m gonna get.

04:19

I have learnt that Zoom feels like magic and the best invention ever for about 2 goes and then it turns into the worst TV show ever.

The other thing that reminds me of the school is that there are cheats. There are people that feel the rules don't apply to them and there are some that bend them and some who go so far as to break them completely: visiting friends, driving to parks, to going for a walk, getting together in groups. And just like in school, I seethe on the inside, anger bubbling just below the surface and my 15-year-old’s desire to be cool and liked and appear laid back resurfaces and I just smile and say ‘whatever’.

I am looking forward to the school holidays. To being able to go out and do whatever I want to do when I want to do it. I feel myself turning into a teenage rebel and in some weird role reversal, I fear it will be my children who restrict my movements as they try and keep their ‘ageing parents’ (Their words, not mine) safe from whatever comes next.

05:09

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Rachel: Hello! Rachel Lankester here, midlife mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com. My top tip today is to be a bit more whale. There are two creatures that go through menopause: human females and whales. When whales go through menopause, they become the leaders of their pods. Often, for fifty odd years! We can also be more useful to our communities as leaders than as breeders. 

05:41

[Music: Guest Exit]  

Susan: Susan Stevens here with your beauty tip. Do I need to swap shampoo with the seasons? In the summer your hair has to defend itself against more enemies, such as the sun, sea salt, excess sweat, and chlorine, so switching to a gentler shampoo can help to keep your hair soft without stripping it of its natural oils. Especially at this time when essential workers are shampooing and cleansing more often, you definitely want to use a more mild shampoo, and definitely lots of conditioning. A Little Roomie for Your Soul: “Surrender. If you are a seeker of union, find your place in the heart of nothingness. While still in the cage of your being, behold the spirit bird before it flies away. Since you were once drunk on eternity, pick up the sword of now, and strike the ego. Remove the dregs of separation. 

Become pure so the cup of  true reality can be filled with the pure wine of spirit.

06:37 

[Music: Guest Exit]

Christine: Susan just shared an excerpt from the book Rumi’s Little Book of Life: The Garden of the Soul, the Heart, and the Spirit. I will put a link to it into my show notes. Thanks, Susan! 

06:50

[Music: Guest Intro]

Gretchen: Hi. This is Gretchen Hoffmann, your Planner Freak. Today I just wanted to take a minute to share a really cool planning technique that I heard about recently from an old college friend. My friend Joan and her husband recently moved to New York City after selling the home where they had raised their children. Both of their kids are all grown up and now like so many of us they’re Empty Nesters. She and her husband Robert decided they wanted to spend a few years soaking up city life before they decided on their next move. Now, Joan has always been one of the most organized women I know. She is never late for an appointment, she never forgets a birthday, she has enough time for work, travel, exercise, and to spend with her family and friends. She really is Amazing!

07:39

You know what the most amazing part to me is, though? In  spite of everything she has on her plate she never seems frazzled, she always seems in control. She’s fantastic!  I, on the other hand, sometimes seem to be chasing my own tail because, although I am a good multitasker, it’s often difficult for me to stick with my main priorities for the day. Because of this, I am absolutely fascinated by how people do organize and plan their days. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, and helping people to plan their days. 

08:10

I  recently asked Joan what her trick was and I was actually surprised by how simple it was. She told me she keeps a paper planner on her desk where she writes everything down that she has to do and then she schedules everything on its own specific day. Then, here’s the important part, every morning she picks out the three main things she needs to accomplish that day. It can be personal or work related but she always keeps it to three. These are her key action items and she assigns them numbers in her mind … one, two and three. Simple enough, right? Then as she goes through her day and completes each of the three items, she mentally checks off that number in her head. So once number one is done she moves on to number two -. You get the gist. This technique allows her to concentrate only on her most important tasks and it really gives her a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. Anything else she gets done that day is icing on the cake. But the really great part is she rarely has to move priority items from one day to the next in her planner. I feel like I am always moving one or two items at the end of the day to the next day’s schedule. Now I’m wondering if any of you have ever tried this technique and if it worked as well for you. Remember, “Plan your day, Love your day!’

09:25

[Music: Guest Intro]

Jenn: Hi, this is Jenn Musselman, your wardrobe/closet coach and I’m here for your next tip. The tip is shoes: shoes always, always, always set the tone for your outfit. Let’s think about it, I’m going to give you two pretty extreme different examples but keeping in mind the shoes, think of a nun, and think of a showgirl or a Rockette. Shoes make the outfit. I know, these are a little bit extreme examples, but it is true. So, think about wearing your favorite basic chunky sweater and your favorite pair of jeans, but pair it with a really cute glittery flat, a glitzy flat, a fun pair of funky converse sneakers. Shoes set the tone for the outfit. It’s the best accessory you can have. That’s my tip for today. 

[Music: Guest Intro] 

10:24

Deirdre: Hi, it’s Deirdre from DeClutter By Deirdre and the Magnificent Aging podcast. My hint for this month is banish loneliness. Call someone at least every other day. Go out into the world, and talk to people, Join a club: they have boating clubs, gardening clubs, card playing clubs, square dancing clubs - pick an interest and get involved. Get out there. Make it a point to engage with people. You won’t want to declutter if you’re lonely. Make some friends, engage people that you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. 

11:12

{Music: Guest outro]

Christine: So, I bet you can guess that Deirdre sent me this wonderful tip, pre-pandemic. She’s way on top of things, but her advice still stands. Sure, the groups may be online but the advice is great! You can research clubs to join now and see what they offer virtually. You can call others or meet with them online - this is a great time to meet others virtually in an area of interest. Let us know if you come up with a unique idea here, too.

And next up is Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveler - another wonderful human who sent me her tip, pre-pandemic, so the focus is on flying and how to pack light when flying. This is a great opportunity to make plans for lighter travel for when we are able to do so again. So, as you listen, think how you will travel in the future. 

 12:05

[Music: Guest intro]

Katherine: My last tip was to take less and to achieve this with a mix and match wardrobe - and I mentioned travelling to New York in winter and wearing layers. Quite surprisingly I did go to New York with just 5 kilos (11 pounds ) of gear. How, you may ask? Well, I wore my heavy and bulky gear on the plane, and that’s my tip for today – when flying wear your bulky and heavy clothing (not that anything is overly heavy in my bag).

Now I’m not talking about wearing a big coat and filling the pockets with everything in your bag –although there are coats out there for this purpose – personally, I can’t think of anything worse. I’d look like the Michelin Man – ridiculous!

12:54

So my trick is I wear my heavier and bulkier gear. I wore my boots on the plane as they take up so much room in my small bag – and I didn’t really take them off the whole time I was in New York. I wore my long and thickest socks on the plane too.

My long wool coat I carried and used as a blanket on the plane, which was just luxurious. I wore my pashmina too – and I so pleased I did as the plane temperature cools down on long-haul flights – I guess so you can sleep – but I was nice and toasty warm. My puffer jacket packs down quite small in my pack but I actually use it to wrap it round my neck as a travel pillow while flying – I go for practicality over fashion when flying for 16 hours from NZ.

I also wear a lot of merino or smartwool. It’s great for planes because it keeps you warm but you don’t overheat with it. I’ll tell you more about merino in my next tip session. So, yes, wearing your heavy and bulkier gear on planes will reduce the weight of your carry on bag. Have you given it a go yet? Happy light travels!

14:05

[Music: Guest outro]

Christine: Thanks Katherine. Next up is a guest submission who is back for a second time - the amazing Leah Carey. Enjoy..

[Music: Guest intro]

Leah:  Hi! I’m Leah Carey from the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast. If you want a different kind of touch from your partner but you’re not sure how to ask for it without hurting their feelings, try the Three Minute game. It’s easy, quick, and fun!

Have your partner lay down. Tell them that you are going to touch them any way

that they desire for three minutes and their only job is to tell you what they want,

then lay back and enjoy receiving it. Ask them, “How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” Start a timer for three minutes and do EXACTLY the thing they asked for. If they ask you to change the touch, do what they ask, but resist the urge to do ANYTHING other than what they’ve asked for – don’t get fancy!

When the alarm goes off, switch places and repeat. Now, your partner asks you,

“How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” And this is where you describe to them EXACTLY the kind of touch you would like.

I suggest the first few times you play, you keep it PG or PG-13, and leave the R rated sessions for once you’ve both gotten really comfortable clearly asking for what you want.  And then, if you like what you get, give them lots of positive reinforcement. Say later that night, “I loved the way you touched me earlier.” The next day, you could say, “I’m still thinking about the way you touched me yesterday.” And then the next time you’re getting frisky say, “Remember the way you touched me during the Three Minute Game? Would you do that again?” And don’t forget :they’ve now given YOU exact directions for what they enjoy, so use them! Here’s to your better sex life!

16:25

[Music: Guest intro]

Christine: Thanks for visiting with us again, Leah, my listener if you like what you just heard, Leah has a podcast created with so much more! Definitely check it out. 

My tip for you today is short and sweet: take a deep breath in, right now - go ahead - let the breath out - and on your next breath in, say to yourself, “I am amazing.” Then breathe out. Now do that for as many times as you need to begin to hear yourself saying it without any push back. 

17:03

[Music: Back to Christine]

Those are our tips for today. I am thrilled you listened!. If you enjoyed this episode, and want the next quick tips episode to make its way to you in your favorite app, take a moment - right now - to subscribe to this podcast - it’s free, after all!

Don’t forget that I have contact information for all of my 2020 Quick Tips Team members on my website! Be sure to click through, follow your favorites on their website - or social media pages -  and let them know you found them through this podcast!

17:32

[GPS Support Flock Thank you music]

Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to every member of my GPS Support Flock. I invite you to fly on over to my website or see my show notes for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Support Flock member where you will gain access to all of my programs, monthly workshops, group coaching, and more. See you there!

If you are able to do a screenshot of this episode now and share it on social media to help others to find it, that would be super helpful to me and the team. Tag me @emptynestcoach so that I may thank you. OR if you can think of one other person who would enjoy this podcast, please, don’t keep it a secret.

And should you be a regular subscriber to this podcast, can you take a moment and leave a five-star rating and review? That would be lovely!

18:27

[Music: Outro - fade out]

Of course, my amazing empty nest friend (or not so empty nest friend), always  remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!

18:36

Bloopers

18:51

Still listening? I recently slept outside on my deck. I love to camp solo - or with a few amazing women. Since I can’t do that right now, I decided to camp on my deck. No family members joined me and I am totally okay with that. Have you done anything like that recently? 

[end]