30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: The Story You Have About Your Role In Your Child’s Future 💚 (27/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: The Story You Have About Your Role In Your Child's Future💚 (27/30)

In this podcast episode we talk about future stories we tell ourselves with a focus on the parent-child relationship.

💬 "...I encourage you to pay attention to the future stories you have and the stakes you have assigned to them."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:43 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 07:27 Journal Prompt

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"...I encourage you to pay attention to the future stories you have and the stakes you have assigned to them."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 194

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: The Story You Have About Your Role In Your Child's Future💚 (27/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

The story you have about your role in your child's future is our topic for today (Day 27) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:43

Amazing human and beautiful soul, if you are excited to dive into more of these concepts - to ask questions, perhaps receive coaching around them and for your specific needs, I invite you to take a look at the show notes for a link leading you to the ways you may connect and work with me as your coach - or you’ll find them all  at EmptyNestSuccess.com. 

Also, a reminder that I have created a free PDF companion workbook for this challenge that includes a list of topics, information about me, worksheets and some extra bonuses.

[level-up music] 

Onto our topic: the story about your role in your child's future. Let's take all of the concepts that we've talked about so far and put them together. High-level, this challenge has introduced and encouraged thought work - paying attention to your thought-box-deliveries; noticing and feeling your emotions; updating stories that may never come true, and learning who you are while remembering your adult child needs the space to figure out who they are. All of this while also considering transitioning into a coach role for your child.

Know that while you may have great plans for grandchildren and babysitting them or, not babysitting them or having your own life with a few yearly check-ins - and while you may have specific plans, your child a) may not be thinking that far ahead and  b) may have a different version, right now, of what they would like your future relationship to look like. 

Life is all about change. And with this, know that it is going to change for both of you as both of you grow into your next versions of who you are - or discover who you have always been under all the other duties you have been assigned in life. 

Trust that you’ll figure it out as you go. 

Embrace the coach role and remember that they have every right to the ideas, plans and feelings that they have. Your job is to create your own amazing life and you’ll figure out the relationship as you move along. 

Pressuring any other human to deliver or change to make us more comfortable is a lose lose situation - and when that someone is our child the stakes are even higher. 

[sigh] whew, yeah, I know that was a bit of an ouch, but someone listening needed to hear it. 

03:12

When you catch yourself telling future-stories about your relationship together, remember that, at best, you are guessing what the future may look like. If you were to state that future-guess as a fact and it involves another human’s life…. there’s bound to be some sort of response, to put it lightly.

In the analogy we are building on your way to becoming The Conscious Effective Olympian (C.E.O.) of your life, remember that the future is outside of your fence. It is! Someone else’s story about the future? That’s also outside of your fence. If you choose to bring it in and feel the need to manage it - that’s kind of on you. 

Let others have their stories. 

Any story that you decide to tell  (to yourself or others) about your role and your child's future, whether it's, 

  • They're not going to give me grandkids.

  • I'm going to be super involved in their life! 

  • They’ll live so far away, I'm never going to see them.

  • or whatever the thoughts you have about your role in their future…. 

For all of these, I encourage you to pay attention to the future stories you have and the stakes you have assigned to them. When you notice the stories you tell (or maybe it’s a single thought), see if it is one that feels good, and if not, update it. Sure, dream about what you would like as long as it feels good but be careful with whom you share it with and the stakes you put on it - of that future story becoming a reality. 

If you aren’t able to come up with anything for your parent-child relationship that feels better, here are some starter statements to try (they’re general): 

[upbeat music begins in background]

I'm thrilled that my child has made it to adulthood. I know in each moment in the past I did the best I could with the resources I had for me at that time, and I will continue to do so - my child will too! Over the years, we have created a relationship - one that can stay the same or change. I look for ways to show my adult child that I love and care for their uniqueness. I’m thankful when I’m included in their life. I’m learning to become a safe space for them and they - maybe, after initially doubting it - have learned to appreciate it. I’m ecstatic that I get to show up fully as myself and they get to show up fully as themself as our relationship grows in the future. 

[end music]

You certainly don’t have to say anything like this to yourself, but how would something like this feel? You can use it as a starting point, adjust it, play with it, or start from scratch. 

Absolutely, dream about all the things you’d like to see in the future but remember they are your dreams. Take stock and see what in those dreams of yours you are able to make progress toward and do so when you are inspired to take action.

As for you and your child, you can show up believing that it will be like that one day, (whatever your dream is) and in the meantime, be thankful for every moment you have with them in your life now. 

And for those of you, who maybe your child isn’t in your life - for whatever reason- give yourself hope. Work on loving them for who they are. It has the opportunity to heal and you can love them even if they aren’t in your life.

And, of course, remember that the relationship with your child is yours. It  doesn't have to look the way society has told you it should. 

Should you be interested, I speak more on topics about the future in  Day 8 of the Empty Nest Success challenge - that’s titled “ Their Future - What’s Your Story?“. You’ll also find future topics mentioned in episodes 13: Empty Nest Success: Future You Has All the Power; 17: Empty Nest Success: Green Popsicle Stick; 20: Empty Nest Success: You Found Future You! Now for the, “How?”; 71: Empty Nest Success: The Past and the Future Are Outside of Your Fence; and, finally, 138: Empty Nest Success: Shared Future Goals. Links will, as always, will be in the show notes.

07:27

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … reflect on your current ideas and expectations about your future relationship with your child. Be curious if you have any preconceived notions you might want to let go of in order to allow you to thrive while your child becomes all they are meant to be?

And here are some extra prompts: What thought-box-deliveries arrive when the idea that that story may not happen enters your mind? What is Your Protector doing the thought-box-deliveries, and what emotions show up for you?

As always, don’t forget to consider some better feeling thoughts. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, check in with your future stories - in all areas of your life - and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Their Future – What’s Your Story? 💚 (8/30)

The 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Their Future - What's Your Story? (8/30)💚

 In this podcast episode, I invite you to consider the different future-story-telling possibilities.

"I invite you to pay attention to the stories you are telling about the future - especially when it comes to stories about your child’s future."

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:43 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 03:31 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!


Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I invite you to pay attention to the stories you are telling about the future - especially when it comes to stories about your child’s future."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 176

Challenge: Their Future - What's Your Story? (8/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

What’s your story about your child’s future? is our topic for today (Day 8) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more!

Here we go: 

00:43

Hi, amazing human and beautiful soul, I’d like you to consider, today, the storytelling that  you do about our child’s future (or your own future). 

Anytime we think, share, or talk about the future we are in imaginary-land.

Meaning, we are creating something (telling a story) that may or may not ever happen. How often are we telling stories that make us feel something other than really fantastic? 

Stop for a moment and take in that you have lived on this planet for decades figuring out things as you go. You rise to challenges, and sometimes you don’t, but you’re still here and you keep going. Trust in yourself that if the future plays out in an unexpected way that you’ll have all the resources you need in that moment - or, that the unexpected way could be a lovely surprise. 

Unless you are a time traveler,  (Do you have a tardis?) you aren’t in the future. 

You may not be surprised that I have an analogy for these future-story moments. Remember, these are moments when we are guessing what might happen in the future. 

Have you used Google earth? There’s that satellite view and then there’s an option to tap and get a street view style. There’s a little person you can drop onto a specific place in a singular moment and look around. 

Now, I imagine us (as we tell these future-story moments) it’s as if we have taken ourselves, and dropped us in this one particular moment that could possibly happen, but we have no resources to deal with because - it doesn’t exist now.

Meanwhile, you could have dropped yourself in all these other places - just like you can in Google street view - all these different ways that your future could eventually play out and that specific story moment may never, actually, happen. 

Yet, our mind will treat that story that we are telling as if it is true now. And the present moment? Well, that, we're currently missing.

I invite you to pay attention to the stories you are telling about the future - especially when it comes to stories about your child’s future. 

As I said in an earlier episode, there is a level of preparation that we all need about the future.

Try combining the what-if with it, and invite yourself to spend time in a future that, sure, while it can be practical but also why not make it exciting and fun? Right now, you deserve nothing less. 

I’ll talk about the present moment in the next episode. 

03:31

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is ….What story do you tell about your child's future?

03:39

[level-up music]

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today! What story will you tell about the future? And don’t you dare forget how amazing you are.

Chat next time!

[end]


Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

145: Monday Motivation & My Wish For You Today 💚

145:  Monday Motivation & My Wish For You Today 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My wish for you today is that you have clarity in your life on what you need to do today. And I’m not talking about the 400 things in your mind that you need to accomplish all year, I’m talking about the handful of things that are do-able for today."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Monday Motivation & My Wish for You Today

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:04 My Wish for You Today & a New Exercise to Consider

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 145

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #145.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:04

[computer game level up music (short)]  

My Wish for you Today

My wish for you today is that you have clarity in your life on what you need to do today. And I’m not talking about the 400 things in your mind that you need to accomplish all year, I’m talking about the handful of things that are do-able for today. 

How about a 1-2-3 Exercise? 

Choose at least:

One thing for self-care

Two things that HAVE to be done and

Three small things that you have to get done to serve the tomorrow-you.

Make them small and do-able

If you are my age and you watched a lot of Sesame Street as a child, there was this song that had in it 1,2,3. I won’t sing it because I don’t own the rights to it, but as I was assembling this, that song flowed through my mind. 

So, a little bit more on each one of these.

00:01:51

ONE for self-care - it doesn't have to be a full on spa appointment, it could be you painting your nails. And if you have more time, don’t feel limited to one thing. 

TWO things that HAVE to be done. These I think of as the larger items such as for me, go to work and be productive at work - I could use the one-two three method within my work day as well. But Work and packing my Lunch would be two things that I would have under number two. 

And Three small things that serve tomorrow-you, again, SMALL THINGS. If you have extra time, great add things on but not until you do the three small things - I don’t want to limit you with examples but I’ll give you a few anyway. Maybe it is prep food for your lunch tomorrow, or layout your workout clothes for tomorrow, or call someone you have been needing to call. Don’t limit yourself in any of these categories. 

You determine them and make this exercise your own. 

It is Monday, it is a brand new day to start your day and week ahead. I’m excited to see what you do with it and I’m cheering you on. 

Happy Monday my beautiful friend. 

You are amazing!

Talk tomorrow. 

[end music]

144: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Plan Your Week Ahead 💚

144: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Plan Your Week Ahead 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"It is really important to understand that in the empty nest adjustment, for most of us, there isn’t a switch that flips that designates when the empty nest happens. It can be a transition that takes months or years - sometimes decades - where we’re navigating our babies becoming independent adults and moving permanently out on their own. Some never reach that. The back and forth, the emotions that arise each time aren’t to be ignored, my friend. They deserve recognition and processing because each stage of this transition is progress - for you and for them. Remember to enjoy the journey, my friend."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: College Graduation Thoughts from a Mom & Sunday Prep for Your Week Ahead

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:40 Quick Reminders
  • 01:03 Personal Thoughts on Our Daughter's College Graduations
  • 04:10 Sunday Prep Work

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 144

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #144.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stand

s for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:40

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to do that - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor.  

00:01:03

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Did you get to listen to my last two episodes? In them, I share ten things to keep in mind when your child graduates from high school. I’d love to know your thoughts on those, and what you’d add.

I’ve recorded this episode earlier in the week, and it is fun to think about our daughter’s high school graduation as this Sunday morning, I’ll be waking up to our daughter’s college graduation day. 

Over the last four years, she’s changed her majors and minors - sometimes by her choice and sometimes because of circumstances. She’s become independent enough to walk around alone for fun in a town that is multiple states away from home. She’s learned to advocate for herself - even more than she already had done - and she’s been reminded that no, everyone won’t necessarily jump on board when you stand up for yourself - be it for what you believe in or for your mental health - but to stay the course, take care of yourself, stay true to what you believe in and your core group of people will rise up. They’ll show who they are in your life. Some of these amazing humans will be in your life for only a season. Some will return, fences will mend, and others well, that season won’t be coming back. That’s okay too. She’s learned a whole bunch more but for now, I wanted to share some thoughts of where I am. 

If my daughter will have allowed it, I’ll have posted some photos on Instagram this past weekend, feel free to check it out. She’s a force to be reckoned with and I couldn’t be more proud of the bravery she’s had to head out to an out of state college knowing no one at the age of fourteen. No, it hasn’t been a cake-walk but she’s met true peers and friends for life who “get” her which is honestly, what I, as her mother, was hoping for. 

Little secret: I’ve asked her and her friends to pop on my podcast to talk about what it was like to attend college so early. We’ll see if I’m successful with that. I figure it might help someone with a decision - I kind of wish I had something like that - and for everyone else it should be super interesting.

Now, if you are a student listening to this...if you are about to graduate and are feeling a bit lost. Please know that it’s normal. Having doubts about everything? Also normal. Take it one step at a time, you’ve got this. I believe in you and for the record, I’m super proud of you whether you are my child or someone I’ve never met, I am cheering you on.

As for our daughter, she’ll be coming home for some time, and I’ll get to use my own tips on what to do when your child is home for a break - again, and for a bit. 

It is really important to understand that in the empty nest adjustment, for most of us, there isn’t a switch that flips that designates when the empty nest happens. It can be a transition that takes months or years - sometimes decades - where we’re navigating our babies becoming independent adults and moving permanently out on their own. Some never reach that. The back and forth, the emotions that arise each time aren’t to be ignored, my friend. They deserve recognition and processing because each stage of this transition is progress - for you and for them. Remember to enjoy the journey, my friend. 

00:04:13

[computer game level up music (short)] 

As for the Sunday prep work, I thought it would be nice to take a moment to think about our week ahead. 

Yes, right now… you might have a routine that you are used to, and that’s fantastic but I’d like to encourage you to take some time to do an extra little bit of planning this week. 

Yes seriously. Future-you will thank you. 

Think of three things you can accomplish this week that you don’t have on your radar. I’m talking about those things that sneak up on us - maybe it is looking at the next six weeks ahead to see if there is anything you can prep for now.  

For example, I have a colonoscopy coming up - I can make sure I have everything I need for that prep experience. 

Or you could look at birthdays or celebrations that are going on in the next two months and jot down thoughts on how to get ahead on those. 

Have a doctor appointment you are putting off? 

How about a small area you’ve been wanting to declutter? I said a small area. 

I use the three things method in my daily life and even in my work. It is incredibly helpful for me to assess the top three priorities for the day - often I get more than three done but it’s bonus then and it feels amazing. 

Try finding three things to help your future-self. Then get out your calendar or however you plan your days and schedule time to do them. 

Remember, you are gifting your future-self with this time. Just like the thought-delivery inventory we do, planning is work that is worth it. 

I’d love for you to share something you chose to add to your week ahead. 

If your week is off-the-charts busy, that is okay, this is simply a suggestion. If you are motivated by it, try it. Find moments to be thankful, to be present in and use those to reset you when things aren’t so great. 

Go get ‘em

You are amazing!

Talk tomorrow. 

[end music]

143: 5 More Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

143: 5 More Things To Remember As Your Child Graduates from High School 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Yes, we’ll always be their parent and will jump in when needed, can offer advice and such but it is time for them to become who they are meant to be in this world, not who we want them to be."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: 5 More Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:41 Quick Reminders
  • 01:04 5 More Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 143

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #143.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:41

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes - see my show notes for how to contact me - and if you enjoy this podcast, don’t forget to follow this podcast in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:04

[computer game level up music (short)]  

In my last episode I shared 5 Things to Remember as Your Child Graduates from High School. Today we’re going to talk about 5 More things, and of course, this list is not exhaustive. What would you add to these? 

We start today with

Number 5:  Is College in Their Future? Start Prepping Now.

If college is in your emerging adult’s future, they probably have decided on where they are headed. This is a great time to look for checklists for your kiddo - the dorm essentials of course, but also, what forms will you need to fill out, how will medical appointment works when they are away at college - should you need them, need new bedding - many dorm beds are not a standard twin size - check that now because they tend to become hard to find in August.  Also consider what foods can they stock in their dorm room to get them through study breaks and sickness. 

Number 4: Begin Transitioning into a Coaching Role.

Yes, we’ll always be their parent and will jump in when needed, can offer advice and such but it is time for them to become who they are meant to be in this world, not who we want them to be. Be their safe space, my empty nest friend. If their dreams are aligned with your dreams for them, that’s fantastic but more than likely that won’t happen. Work on your thoughts about their future and use those listening skills and ask when they want advice rather than demanding they do something because that is the way it should be. No one likes to be controlled like that and conversations always work better than demands. Your child is your child. Ideally, you love them no matter what career they choose, no matter who they choose to love, and how they choose to live their life. Lead with love and provide a safe space for them to figure their life out - for as long as you can. Do I really need to tell you that if their life is in danger, of course you are going to step in. But when you rarely step in, your actions and words will have a greater impact than if you just had a similar emotion about maybe their music choice. 

Number 3: Prepare for Change, Warning: Strong Emotions May be Ahead

You are in a transition now. Change is inevitable and just when you get used to one change, it’s going to change again. You know, just like parenting up until this point - it keeps going. Every time your child leaves home and moves back home, you have the opportunity to learn who they are all over again - to discover how they’ve changed. You could spiral into a ball of sadness over the younger years being gone, or you could notice when you have those moments of missing youth, tell yourself, “it’s okay I feel this way, but I don’t want to miss who is in front of me now.” and move forward. You’ve got this, you can handle it and yes, be aware that strong emotions may pop up when you least expect it. See those emotions, feel them and know you’ll get through them. I’m cheering you on! Enjoy the journey.

Number 2: Have fun!

With all of the celebration, the life skill learning, and adjusting to the transition it is easy to focus on the checklists but to miss having fun in the simple moments of life. Don’t miss those. Make time to have fun along the way.

Number 1: You’ve earned it.

My listener, raising a human is no joke. No one trains us for all of the things that you have had to navigate over the years. Sure we have resources we can find if we have access to them. Sometimes we have great parents, friends or mentors that help out but in the end, you did the daily grind, the feedings, the sleepless nights, the navigation of a school system, the anxiety over how they might be treated, and well, I could list things for the next day and I wouldn’t be done. My friend, you’ve earned a celebration for yourself - maybe not a party - but definitely do something to commemorate their graduation for you. Well done. No, you aren’t done parenting but you made it this far and keep in mind it isn’t guaranteed to us as parents to experience this moment for a plethora of reasons. Be grateful, be proud and be you while allowing your child to be them. Congratulations, you’ve earned it. 

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00:05:32

I’ll be back tomorrow to share some thoughts about our daughter’s college graduation and we’ll also talk about resetting ourselves, since it’s Sunday, for the week ahead. Remember, I have 142 other episodes available for you to catch up on or relisten to when you are possibly driving, doing chores or taking a walk.

My amazing empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that you are amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

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