138: Shared Future Goals (The Daily Experiment) 💚

138: Shared Future Goals (The Daily Experiment) 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"This future-you dreaming is powerful and incredibly important, my friend."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: Shared Future Goals

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Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:44 Quick Reminders
  • 01:07 My Lessons Learned: Your Future Self and Sharing Future Goals

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 138

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #138.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:44

Quick reminders: You’ll find the answer to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to subscribe or follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass, who powers our online community, (that’s coming soon) is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:07

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? 

Shared future-goals are super fun! In my last episode I talked about knowing where you are heading without being set on how you get there. With our personal move, hubby and I have been discussing what is next for us… how soon is retirement in our future? What does that even look like for us? And those things. I’ll be honest, walks are our best time to communicate, and he’s been doing some fun research. 

Both of us know our full-time day job work isn’t something we can walk away from any time soon due to the need to catch up on our nest egg, our current commitments and those things, but we came up with a super fun and adventurous plan for our retirement together: one that will take many years of research and planning to pull off in a way we will be comfortable. I will say, it is incredible how much more meaningful our full-time work became now that we have this fun adventure to work toward. 

We discussed on one walk how without that plan, it does feel a bit like a hamster wheel - you begin to wonder, “Where is the end?” - I mean the answer definitely could be, “well, there isn’t one.” That’s fun, and yes, that’s sarcasm; but not knowing what the end COULD look like can be defeating… 

But then… add in some dreaming and planning into the mix and you may begin to see the strong possibility of making something happen that invigorates you, that gives you a reason why you do what you do - at least for now. 

00:02:41

On another walk, we also discussed that this plan totally might change the more research we do, and that’s okay. The research is half the fun. I talk about this often when I’m coaching clients and talking in my podcast about your future-self: once you discover who they are - you can use them as your GPS for your life. You let them guide you and then you do research. You try living in the idea of that future-life possibility by deeply (ever so deeply) using your imagination -  in excruciating detail - and do that for some time - to play out how it might really look for you. It is only then, that you can begin to ask questions such as: 

  • Do I like that lifestyle? 

  • Does the lifestyle allow me to keep the things I love about my current life?

  • Am I willing to give up what I’ll need to give up to get there?

  • Am I willing to give up who I’ll need to give up in my life to get there?

  • Do I like my sleeping and waking hours? 

  • Do I have the same support group around me or a different one and is that okay?

  • Do I like how much free time I have?

  • Was the work to get there worth the benefits?

00:03:57

Many of my clients do this work and do find that the “dream” that they thought they wanted, is actually a bit of a drag in one way or another. It is then that they get to decide if they wanna scrap that dream completely or maybe adjust it a bit. 

This future-you dreaming is powerful and incredibly important, my friend. 

I’ve been doing this stuff for years on my own, you can’t just ask someone to join you and expect them to be on board when they are so entrenched in details of where their life is now. It takes work to get to this point where you can dream again. But over time, if you keep doing it, sometimes things will shift in your life, and those others in your life that weren’t able to dream might start to be able to dream, too. I will tell you, I’m having a blast listening to my husband's ideas, his excitement and dreams. 

Right now, some of these dreams we are super aligned together with - a couple we’re a little bit off but we have many years to figure it out together. 

00:05:02

And then let’s be real for a minute, with life we might not have all these future years that we think we have together - sucky things happen in life that you don’t expect but what excites me is that by dreaming we aren’t wasting this time being miserable where we are. What fun is that? 

We are dreaming for the future in a way that allows us almost the opportunity to live in it now and should we discover what we want that future - we can then begin to plan for it.

I’ve also mentioned this before - think about the moment you book a vacation. Yeah, remember those? For me, that vacation begins the moment I mentally decide we’re going on vacation because the planning really is part of the vacation. Have you experienced that? 

In this segment I leave you with - where could you be dreaming more? It’s super fun!

00:06:02

And with that - I’ll be back tomorrow talking about what’s in your life’s toolbox, where I’ve been and finding the funny.

Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these new shorter episodes, my empty nest friend. 

It is Monday, and yes, even on Mondays You Are Amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]

00:06:24

[blooper]

[end music - splash]

[end]

137: A Mother’s Day Message 2021 (The Daily Experiment)💚

137: A Mother's Day Message 2021 ( The Daily Experiment)💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"To my friends who dislike this day because they are a Mother but their family just treats it like any other day: Yes, this happens. Please remember this one day is not the be all and end all to how they show your love. They love you, but they may not show it today. If you are still having a hard time feeling thankful, go back to my first two comments above and try looking at life a bit differently. Then treat yourself today. You are worth it."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

@emptynestcoach 's podcast episode today: A Mother's Day Message 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:44 Quick Reminders
  • 01:15 A Mother's Day Message

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 137

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #137.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[short intro music]

00:00:44

Quick reminders: I’m in the midst of super short daily episodes to combat a busy time in my life. For the details on that check out episode #135. You’ll find the answer to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass who powers our online community - that’s coming soon - is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:15

Today I’m sharing something I found that I wrote and posted to Facebook back in 2016 - this was back when I posted on Facebook regularly. So, it’s been a while. I tweaked it a tiny bit and I share it with you today.

To my friends who think of their mother in heaven, today: 

Know that your mother lives in you. She’s proud of you, and she loves you. Remember those great moments together and I am sending you a hug. 

To my friends who think of their child in heaven, today: 

I have no words. Love. I send you love.

To my friends who have estranged relationships with their mother or child: 

I pray that peace will enter your lives this year - for both of you and that closure and the rekindling of a relationship - if possible and healthy - enters your life. May love win overall. Remember the good times even if they are hard to find.

To my friends who aren’t “Moms:”

I can’t begin to tell you how important you are to me. No matter your age, gender, race or how we know each other, YOU help me to be the mother I am. You listen even when you may not have a clue what I’m talking about and even when you may not want to hear me talk about my child anymore. You have NO idea how important that is to me and how much it helps me to be a better mother. THANK YOU.

And to my friends who dislike this day because they are a Mother but their family just treats it like any other day: 

Yes, this happens. Please remember this one day is not the be all and end all to how they show your love. They love you, but they may not show it today. If you are still having a hard time feeling thankful, go back to my first two comments above and try looking at life a bit differently.  Then treat yourself today. You are worth it.

To my friends who love this day because it is all about them and they feel the love from their family:

You are truly blessed. Enjoy every minute. You deserve it.

00:03:28

As I read through that, there’s probably a few things I’d tweak even a little more but you get the idea.

 I’ll be back tomorrow talking about the topic of shared future goals.

Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so for a new episode from me, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these new shorter episodes, my empty nest friend. 

Don’t you dare forget that You Are Amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

00:03:55

[blooper]

[end music]

136: The Daily Experiment – When You Worry About Re-Grieving a Lost Child 💚

136: The Daily Experiment - When You Worry About Re-Grieving a Lost Child 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Emotions may arise and that’s okay - you’re strong enough to get through them. Then you’ll begin to take inventory on the thoughts - I call those thoughts your thought-deliveries. And for each one you’re going to ask yourself: “Is it true?”  “Do I love this thought (or do I even like it)?” Consider if there is a way to adjust the thought in a way that allows you to show up better for yourself and the world now?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode When you worry about grieving a lost child:

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:40 Quick Reminders
  • 01:42 Ask Coach Christine: Re-Grieving a Child

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 136

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #136.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up 

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

00:00:40

Quick reminders: I’m in the midst of super short daily episodes to combat a busy time in my life. For the details on that check out episode #135. You’ll find the answer to all of your questions, where I’ve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, don’t forget to subscribe or follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass who powers our online community - that’s coming soon - is our fabulous episode sponsor. 

00:01:08

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I received this sobering question in my TikTok DMs. Tameria did give me permission to share her name, her question (although I did generalize it a bit), and my response to her. Here was Tameria’s initial question to me:

I’m listening to your podcast and enjoying it! I have a situation that I was wondering if you have dealt with. My first child died at a young age (cancer). My other child is a junior and I feel anxiety that I will re-grieve my first child while adjusting to the empty nest. Have you discussed bereaved parents on your podcast? 

00:01:42

My response? 

Thank you for reaching out Tameria. I have not covered this on my podcast thus far but you are the third person to ask me about this in the last couple of months so let me say a few words about it. 

First of all, I don’t have words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Whether it was two weeks ago or twenty years ago. I can’t imagine anything more painful than losing a child. I personally have not experienced this myself, so I can only offer what I do when coaching any happening in our life - it is first to know you are strong enough to feel your emotions when they pop-in, and also know that you’ll get to the other side of them.

Use those top of your C.E.O. toolbox items when the emotions begin to feel overwhelming: the hobbies that make you happy, the self-care routines that allow you to escape a bit - whatever those are for you. You can try adding “and that’s okay” to the end of statements you make in your mind - for example: “I miss my child... and that’s okay.” “I wish my child would have been able to experience this... and that’s okay I feel that way.” 

Try those until you are in a place where you can do a little bit more thought-work. When you do feel you are ready for the next step, take out a piece of paper and write down all of the thoughts you are thinking. Give yourself a five minute timer if it helps. 

Emotions may arise and that’s okay - you’re strong enough to get through them.

Then you’ll begin to take inventory on the thoughts - I call those thoughts your thought-deliveries. And for each one you’re going to ask yourself: 

“Is it true?”

“Do I love this thought (or do I even like it)?”

Consider if there is a way to adjust the thought in a way that allows you to show up better for yourself and the world now? 

One warning: be cautious of the “should have” statements that tend to pop-up as those are usually indicators that you aren’t accepting a truth about where you are now. 

For example: “My child should have been able to experience this.” Honestly, yes, they absolutely should have. I won’t argue that for a moment. However, if you continually focus on thoughts like these and spin on them, you don’t get to move into then thoughts like, “My child would have loved this, and I will enjoy it for them” - those types of thoughts.

I realize, also, I am saying this as if it’s easy. 

None of this work is easy -  even without adding a child’s early passing into the mix, so please give yourself grace, patience and kindness as you mourn, or when re-mourning moments pop-up. It’s okay when they do. You’ve got this.

Also remember that when you keep thought-deliveries in your mind about  how you might feel in the future, when your other child heads to college, in a way you are already living in it as if it’s already true. And with that, find things that help you to be present in your life now.

Continue to give yourself grace as you check your thoughts, and bump up those self-care things you love when things get really rough. It’s okay.

Should this topic be something you have on your mind, I’d be honored to work with you.

Thank you for your question and the permission to share it Tameria. You definitely aren’t alone and I am looking forward to an exciting future for you. Your child who passed would want that for you, too!

Now, my listener, ff you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. You may also do what Tameria did and DM me. I do consider all submissions.

And with that - I’ll be back tomorrow with a mother’s day message.

Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these shorter episodes, my empty nest friend. 

And don’t you dare forget that You Are Amazing!

Talk tomorrow!

[end music]