164: Empty Nest Success – The Power of Mini Escapes in Life & Guest Barbara Decker has a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction 💚

164: Empty Nest Success - The Power of Mini Escapes in Life & Guest Barbara Decker has a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

This is a packed episode with a variety of topics: 

  • The Power of Mini Escapes (resets) in life
  • Some Thoughts on Meditation
  • Guest Barbara Decker shares a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction
  • What elixir have I tried that so far is a game-changer? 
  • A Special Offer to Join the C.E.O. Training Team to Empty Nest Success
  • And more!

All the details are below if you'd like to jump around. 

Have a thought-noticing and beautiful month ahead:  be curious about your thoughts and how they make you feel. There is an incredible amount of power there. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The more you can take care of yourself - physically and emotionally, the more you will be able to show up for your child. ... Consider your dreams, notice your thoughts and emotions - notice them with love and curiosity."

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

Ep. 164 of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast includes topics: the power of a mini escape, meditation, guest Barbara Decker stops by & more!  🎙️ #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #midlifemom #resets #parentrecoveryadvocate #barbaradecker

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 01:16   Quick Reminders
  • 01:52  My Wish For You Today - Consider Everything
  • 03:21  New Things: Out of My Routine (travel), Quick Takes episodes
  • 04:15  Magic Mind
  • 07:08 My Lessons Learned: The Power of Mini-Escapes From Your Life
  • 13:41 Ask Coach Christine: What Can You Do to Prepare And Make the Most of Your Emerging Adult Being Away or Leaving Home? 
  • 14:55  Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 15:59  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? Meditation
  • 18:07  Let's Find the Funny - Snapchat Filters at The Louvre
  • 18:29  What I Wish My Parents Knew - Guest Barbara Decker (Parents of Someone with an Addiction)
  • 21:13  Two Questions For You
  • 22:29 bloopers 😆
  • 22:38 Still listening?  - C.E.O. Training Team Information & Offer

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. What life reset (new or usual) can you consider planning for in the near future?
  2. Have you viewed a child’s addiction in the way that Barbara frames it here?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 164

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #164. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though; all are welcome here, as I’m focused on coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life, and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

Here we go..

[up beat music]

00:00:47

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:16

Before we dive in - a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for a free account to unlock a sampling of those resources -  head over to  EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. Training Team, or purchase other premium content.

Want to know more about the C.E.O. Training team? I’ll share more at the tail end of this episode. 

If you are looking for something specific or would like to hop around within this episode, you’ll find time markers in the show notes.

00:01:52

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you are able to consider everything. The beautiful thing about our journey in this life is that we are ever-changing. We aren’t the same person we were a week ago, a month ago, a year ago - and well, you get the idea. Things that we might have said no-way to years ago may now be worth considering again. No, definitely not all things - some things have been let go of for healthy reasons - but don’t be surprised if things periodically pop back in your life - whether a relationship, a job, a living situation, a hobby, or something else. 

Considering something doesn’t mean you have to do it, it doesn’t mean you have to like it. What is fun is to see if and potentially how you have changed in your thought-process, if at all. By considering things you get to dive a little deeper in who you are now - and isn’t that worth a few minutes of time? 

Whether you reconsider something and quickly know that no, you haven’t changed your thoughts on that, OR whether you now see things in a different way - it all in the end - means whatever you make it mean. Let it mean something fun, let it mean self-exploration, let it mean discovery. You don’t have to force it; merely consider it. 

00:03:20

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

It's been a month of adventure for me that that hat included a cross-country flight over a long weekend - wow, the jet lag really took its toll on me the rest of the week I returned - AND then just as I was almost feeling myself, a close friend flew into town for a week - and the almost three weeks of continuous being out of my routine has been a fantastic reset - one of those resets where you have had an amazing time but a week of the usual routine, doing laundry and catching up sounds kind of great right now. 

Isn’t it funny how we do these things to escape our usual routine and then when we are away from them, we might discover how much some of those things bring comfort to our life? 

I also tested three Quick Take episodes last month - they were a fun experiment but I think those will be the exception, rather than the rule. 

00:04:15

The newest thing that I don’t want to forget to share with you is the company Magic Mind reached out to me and invited me to become a Magic Maker. I didn’t really know what that meant but know that I am not one to share things with you that I don’t absolutely love so I requested a sample which I tried this past week, and oh my goodness, so far I really do love this one. So much that I might have begged for a few more samples AND I also placed my own order. I can’t wait ‘til my next package arrives! 

If you are like me of two weeks ago and have never heard of Magic Mind, I’d like to share a teeny tiny bit about it with you today - you can read more on their website! My sample arrived this week and I’ll be honest, I had done NO research. It arrived in the most adorable packaging with three fun bottles (or shots) of this incredible elixir that really did feel a bit magical.  I had made the incorrect assumption that this was a coffee replacement. It isn’t. With all of my recent traveling and projects, I had been sleeping in, not posting on socials and I was up to three cups of coffee a day, and that is not so great for me. 

After reading the information that arrived with the samples, I discovered it’s meant to be taken with your coffee  - or if you aren’t a coffee drinker - you can use Magic Mind all on its own. The first day, I DID brace myself a bit on as this is a green drink and I’ve tried more than my fair share of green beverages - Let’s be honest, good taste isn’t always included. But much to my surprise, I did enjoy the taste! 

This elixir put a pep in my step, helped me to be way more focused and kept my energy levels steady throughout the day - I even slept better and got to the end of my days surprised that that first cup of coffee in the morning was all I needed.    

I’m adding Magic Mind to the top of my C.E.O. Toolbox, but honestly, it may move right into a permanent space in the bottom of my toolbox - it does seem that good! 

Don’t worry, though, I’m not going to leave you hanging. I’ll provide an update next month and let you know how it’s all going. I’ve been making a video diary of the experience too.  

I invite you to join me in this experiment! Magic Mind have given me a 20% off code to share with you: it’s FEELAMAZING20. To use it, visit magicmind.co slash FEELAMAZING and enter the code FEELAMAZING20 - all caps - at checkout. Of course, you’ll find this information in my show notes. Magic Mind does have a money back guarantee AND if you get the subscription it's 40% off right now - that’s the one I signed up for! But know that 40% code only lasts 10 days, so don’t miss out on it. If you do order through my link and would like to share your experience on my next episode, let me know!  

00:07:08

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

[inspirational music plays under this segment]

The power of mini-escapes from our life. 

What is your normal day-to-day life like? For some of us, it is highly structured - alarm wakes us up and we do things non-stop until our head hits the pillow. For others of us, it’s a bit more chillax - where we have our top three things to get done this week and we’re happy. And that relaxed pace is our routine. 

There is no right or wrong here, by the way. You aren’t worth more as a human on this planet because you did more things today. For some of us the busy-ness is our happy place. For others the busy-ness robs us of joy. Your ability to be busy or not busy is for you to figure out, to know what level of activity allows you to find the most joy in your life. And that level probably won’t match others in your life. I want you to know that that is okay. 

What I really want to discuss, and it is related, is the power of breaking out of our normal routines to allow us to see the routines of our life with fresh eyes. 

For some of this us, this takes a large vacation. For others, it is a staycation but with no plans. It doesn’t have to take a huge amount of time for your reset to engage either, but enough time to feel like you were able to step away. 

I’ve found local things that provide this for me - heading to a campsite for a few hours to create a campfire and stare at the logs; or popping into a local casino with only $20 to spend to see how long it lasts. This one might be for me, due to the Vegas trips I did when I was younger - and I enjoy the game of craps - but five minutes in a casino and I feel like I’ve walked into another dimension - talk about a reset. And if you aren’t new here, you know that walks in a forest help me too. I have found that, personally,  I need a minimum of 30 minutes solo to get the most out of those but when I make that happen regularly, it’s a game-changer. 

YOU don’t need to have a campfire; a walk in the woods, or to go to a casino. BUT what I do recommend is that you find an activity or activities - or maybe it's people that allow you to feel a bit of a reset from your life.

And I encourage you that it doesn’t have to be a full vacation. That might not be a financial possibility for you right now - but don’t let that stop you from being creative here.

Most of us know that time away from things and people helps us to appreciate what we have, and see them in a new light. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all. 

What I find continuously fascinating is how I change in my response to things, as I mature and change. Not only in my daily routines but also in my resets. 

I recently confirmed that for me right now solo travel, when I’m able to do it is fantastic for me. My trip to California, I didn’t have one moment where I wished, “Oh I wish I had someone to join me,” in what I’m doing. 

I love the people in my life, but I also love my alone time. On that trip I got to speak at a school, made new friends, did things that I found locals had never done, and I really enjoyed stepping off the plane with no plans for seven hours. I seriously got in my rental car, looked up the nearest beach in Google Maps and my adventure began. 

If you notice too, I said that “right now solo travel is fantastic for me.” 

I can absolutely imagine a day where I will want to experience travel with a travel partner but until then I’m going to enjoy where I am and what I am doing fully. 

And whether I’m in my reset or in my routine, I have the opportunity to learn more about myself. There were things about my trip that I thought I wouldn’t really love but found, actually, they were exactly what I needed - and also the opposite happened. 

I returned home to jet lag that I had never experienced at that level before - and this is where I remember…hmmm… I am not 20, so maybe going right from the airport, taking a shower, and working isn’t the best choice for me. I’ll be honest, I knew that was going to be a tough one, but I wanted to try. I did. And now I know more.

Then going right into a somewhat staycation where a friend visited me, I was able to see where I live in a new light - someone who loves the cool air and seeing the changing leaves for fall - their excitement really reminded me how lovely where I live is. 

Then returning to the usual routine, provides so much internal knowledge: what are the things I love, what are the things I don’t love and are those things I can change? Why or why not? 

To be honest, I’ve had a few surprises hit me about who I am and who I want to be over the next few years. Some of the ideas I have are in direct opposition to goals that I have had for the last few years. I’m going to have some fun playing with those thoughts in the days and weeks ahead.

I share all these thoughts and ideas with you because sometimes it helps to hear other people go through the changes and the reconsideration. It would have been easy for me to keep on keeping on because that’s what I said I’d do - but when you’ve been through as many changes as I have over the last couple of years, honestly, what’s one more? Also, I may process this all out and still keep on keeping on, in the end. 

Either way, I’m going to have a great time figuring it out because it is this - the now - the day to day stuff where I get to fully live life. Isn’t it fascinating how when we get to do the things we’ve been striving for for a long time that we then discover new things about ourselves and new goals? After all, the finish line for one thing is the starting line for our next adventure. 

Analogy wise, this kind of has that love it or list it vibe - you know you do the thing that isn’t in your normal and then find that with some changes you are perfectly happy where you are. Or, you discover, yep,   time to move is here. 

I encourage you to consider it all. Have fun with the thoughts that pop up. You don’t have to keep any of them - especially if they don’t make you feel good - let those go. But the ones - the thoughts - that make you curious, that allow you to dream a bit more - try leaning into those.  Whether it is during your reset or your routine. Both are important. 

00:13:41

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, what things can I do to prepare and make the most of my emerging adult being away or leaving home? 

The more you can take care of yourself - physically and emotionally, the more you will be able to show up for your child. This  is a great time to begin to consider and prepare your CEO Life’s Toolbox items. I have episodes about those - I’ll put them in the show notes. Consider your dreams, notice your thoughts and emotions - notice them with love and curiosity. 

Taking care of you allows you to provide the space for your emerging adult to be who they are. Love them fully, when they share things and you feel strong emotions, take a pause.  Consider the relationship you want with them in ten years and begin to build that now - showing up slowly for them as a coach, not just a parent. 

On another note, for those of you who are about to have your child return home for a bit, remember that they’re different from the person that has left. I have more resources on that that I’ve shared over time and I’ll, again, have those in the show notes. 

00:14:55

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins

I remembered to post a video to collect wins this month, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a ton of notice before I needed to hit record.  However, I had a few amazing women jump in to share their wins on Instagram

Katherine of the5KiloTraveller shares: My book is with beta readers and I’m getting helpful and lovely feedback. After 2 years of writing it's amazing to be at this point. 🎤

RamonaWildeman shared: I hiked two times this week and cycled two times as well. 🎤

And Lady Katricia shares: I woke up happy today. 🎤

[cheers]  

I love all of these so much!

If you want your win included next time, be sure to follow me on Instagram or TikTok and comment on the next Celebrate Your Win video that I post - be sure to add a microphone emoji so I know I have your permission to share your win with my listeners. Remember: wins big and small we celebrate them all. I can’t wait to cheer you on!

00:15:59

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments, and then also do the deeper work as needed. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have the things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time because sometimes things that worked well for you two years ago or a month ago, just aren’t working any longer.

Let’s talk about meditation. 

Are you someone who can easily meditate? I have never had this come easy for me. I’d like to offer the idea that meditation doesn’t need to look a certain way. I have found I am most meditative when I’m in the forest alone and can focus on the sounds and details of my environment. 

Recently, I tried listening to 15-minutes of sounds - I even created one for myself: I posted it on YouTube - it’s of rain, and I’m going to make a few more as time allows. As you know, I don’t share things with you that I haven’t tried myself.  

I found, though, that as listening to this - that the rain sounds isn’t enough - my mind still stays really active. 

One day I had paper and a pen nearby while I was listening to the sounds - I picked it up and started scribbling while listening to the sound, and suddenly I found that my mind was able to clear in a way I never experienced before. 

I’m sure if you walked in seeing me do this, I can only imagine what ideas would go through your head but it works for me! For you it might be multiple sounds at once, or decluttering your house that bring you to a level of meditation. 

I encourage you to release expectations and to play around a bit: maybe pull out some playdough or paint and listen to some bird sounds - you never know what combination will allow your mind to quiet. 

But when you find it, you’ll know. It’s really good stuff. Be creative, have fun and let me know if you find something unexpected that works for you! 

00:18:07

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

I believe in the power of laughter for a quick reset and this is why I include this section within my monthly episodes.

So, this week I’m sharing in the show notes that there was a TikTok circulating recently where someone went to the Louvre and added snapchat filters on the art. What a riot. If you need a giggle - link is in the show notes.  

00:18:29

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My Parents Knew

Today I welcome guest Barbara Decker: Parent Recovery Advocate, a Certified Family Recovery Specialist (CFRS) and founder of Live Well and Fully. Barbara recently interviewed me for one of her upcoming podcast episodes and we had a great time chatting - same energy, positivity and the work she does is incredibly valuable. 

I am thrilled that Barbara shared an audio with us for this podcast answering the question: As a mother of someone with an addiction, what would you like other parents to know?

00:19:05 

As the mother of someone with an addiction, there are some things I'd like other parents to know, the most important thing is that addiction is a disease. It's not a choice in the way you and I normally think of choices. It is a disease, just like asthma and diabetes, and cancer, etc, are diseases. And as such, there are treatment options. So I'd like parents to know that this is not a choice your child is making to behave, the way they're behaving, it is a disease that they have. And then I'd like to share with you the three things your child would like you to know. These are things they may not be able to say to you, but it's important that you know them because they're true. 

Number one: it's not your fault. It really isn't your fault. Even if your child is telling you over and over and over that everything you do is your fault. It's not your fault. That's the disease speaking. 

Thing Number two: they are filled with shame and guilt, they may not present that way to you. But that is how they feel. Inside they feel like terrible human beings who are incapable of being successful in life. 

And the third thing I'd like you to know, because they want you to know is you cannot fix your son or daughter. Only they can change their lives. Only they can decide that they don't want to live this way anymore and take the action they need to take in order to make a change.  There are things you as the parent can do to encourage them to choose a different path for themselves. And it's not easy and it takes work and it's possible. To learn more about the work that we do with the moms changing the moms, not the kids, visit www.LiveWellAndFully.com and find yourself a pocket of joy today because you are so worth it.

You can learn more about the incredible work that Barbara does on her website - please share widely!

00:21:13

Two Questions for You

Question 1: What life reset (new or usual) can you consider planning for in the near future? 

and Question 2: Have you viewed a child’s addiction in the way that Barbara frames it here? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy[ed] this episode, please don’t forget to share it with others; it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Also, don’t forget to follow this podcast - Your Empty Nest Coach - in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home. If you enjoy emails in your inbox, consider joining my Thursday Thoughts about email list: I’ll pop in your inbox with a thought and updates on most Thursdays. It’s a great way to stay connected with all things Your Empty Nest Coach. 

All the links and resources I mentioned, you’ll find in the episode’s show notes. 

I’ll be back in November with a new full episode.

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:22:29

[bloopers]

00:22:38

Still Listening?

I love that you have made time for you today by listening to this episode. Should you be new here, know that there are over 160 other episodes waiting for your ears. If you aren’t new here, thank you for your continual support.

If you are wondering about the C.E.O. Training Team, this is for those of you who are looking for a little bit more than the podcast. I have weekly resources for you - Monday sessions called power hours - where you can pop in for a reset in a group setting, and get a little group coaching if we have the time. Your membership includes four 15-minute private coaching sessions (with me) to get you started, and much much more. 

Just for listening to the end of this episode, I’ve created a coupon titled PodcastThankYou use this on check out to receive a generous $50 credit toward your new CEO Training Team membership. That code is PodcastThankYou no spaces, and each word is capitalized to start - you’ll find that in the show notes. 

Use it soon as it’s only guaranteed for the first ten people who use it.

I’d love for you to join us!

[end music]

[end]

163: Empty Nest Success ⏲️ Quick Take – What’s Your Destination? 💚

163: Empty Nest Success ⏲️ Quick Take - What's Your Destination?💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

A Quick Take episode: short episodes where I quickly review a piece of earlier content and post between my monthly episodes. 

Consistency is the creator and killer of dreams.

What are your thoughts? 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"A consistent thing doesn't mean it's always a good thing."

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

An Empty Nest Success - Quick Take Episode: "A consistent thing doesn't mean it's always a good thing." Your Empty Nest Coach podcast #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #consistency #quicktake

Tweet about this

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Resources

Your Empty Nest Coach, Christine reviews a past Linkedin article.

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 163

FULL TRANSCRIPT

This is an empty nest success quick take. An episode, in between my monthly episodes, where I look back at content I created before, share it and comment on it briefly. 

[level-up music]

Every once in a blue moon, I'll post an article on LinkedIn. This was one of my earlier ones back in 2019. 

It's titled What is your destination? 

[music plays under this segment (reading)]

A few months ago, I wrote on the whiteboard in my day jobs office: 

Consistency is the creator and killer of dreams. 

Someone said, “hmm, the killer?”

Yes, a consistent thing doesn't mean it's always a good thing. Consistently choosing to eat dessert even between meals, not to leave your house and go to the gym. Not to put your phone down when your child, or partner, is talking to you to spend hours on social media all have consequences. 

What are you doing consistently? Are you aware that you're making those choices? And do they lead to the dreams you have in store for your life? 

You consistently choose to do things all of the time. 

I simply challenge you today to be conscious of your choices and to be kind to yourself if you identify a consistency in your life that needs to be changed. 

Dreaming big and choosing the right things to do consistently is worth it. 

It is time to be amazing-you, my friend, I believe in you. 💚

[end music]

Looking at this article, as I was reading it, the bullet points made me cringe a little that I had put them out there, but at the same time I like the way I wrapped it up. Those were simply examples. 

The point is that we are consistently choosing to do things all of the time. First and foremost, be kind and loving to yourself in your mind. 

Second, pay attention and notice your thoughts: notice what you're choosing to do regularly. And be curious if that's something you want to continue doing. 

I'm definitely not here to tell you which things you should be choosing. That's for you to do. Pay attention. Have fun with this, and remember that you are amazing! 💚

[end music]

[end]

162: Empty Nest Success ⏲️ Quick Take – Bad Days 💚

162: Empty Nest Success ⏲️ Quick Take - Bad Days💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

A Quick Take episode: short episodes where I quickly review a piece of earlier content and post between my monthly episodes. 

Bad days, bad moments, and bad happenings are all part of life. 

Eventually, you may even move to a place where it isn't worth labeling any day bad, but we must start somewhere. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"But the moment we engage ourselves in our life, everything changes. Choose to engage your beautiful mind."

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

An Empty Nest Success - Quick Take Episode: Bad Days "Choose to engage your beautiful mind." Your Empty Nest Coach podcast #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #difficult

Tweet about this

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 162

FULL TRANSCRIPT

This is an empty nest success quick take. An episode, in between my monthly episodes, where I look back at content I created before, share it and comment on it briefly. 

[level-up music]

Today I'm scrolling through past Thursday thoughts about email(s) and one caught my eye. I haven't even read it yet. So I'm going to read it now and see how it resonates. This one's called bad days. 

[music plays under this segment (reading)]

Some days I handle life better than other days, I used to beat myself up when I handled things poorly. 

As a human, I'm going to make mistakes. It's all part of this beautiful thing called life. 

One thing we can do when mistakes happen, is to remind ourselves that our words in our mind matter what we say to ourselves matters. These words are important. 

Some days, we win at a big life goal, while other days we win at remembering that we matter, even when we do things that we might not be proud of doing. 

It isn't what we do or say. It's what we make what we do or say mean, and what we make other humans do or say mean. 

The more I help others, the more the universe likes to test my skills. When this happens, just like everyone else, those thought-box-deliveries come rushing in. They deliver thoughts that cause me to feel stressed, where my mind wants to go when I don't check in. Some days, I'm faster at others and realizing that I'm on autopilot. But either way, the moment I click autopilot off and begin to observe the thoughts bombarding my mind, everything changes. 

It is so darn easy to leave on the autopilot of our mind. After all, we get to sit back and let life happen to us. It's so much easier to be the complaining backseat driver than the person who is driving. 

But the moment we engage ourselves in our life, everything changes. Choose to engage your beautiful mind. You have the power to change everything with it, your thoughts, your emotions, your actions and your results. But first you have to choose to engage: to click autopilot off and go through the emotions in life. 

You are worth it. 

[end music]

And this was fascinating to read. I sent this on June 13 of 2019. It took me some effort to find the actual copy. I've bumped up my analogies a lot since then. I've added the idea of your protector or some people call it an ego who is actually on your side and working very hard to protect you. But we need to take the time to train our protector in a way that we get to embrace and live into our life. 

If you want to dive in more, I'll put links in the show notes. 

And don't you dare forget that you are amazing. 💚

[end music]

[end]

161: Empty Nest Success ⏲️ Quick Take – It is Time To Honor Yourself 💚

161: Empty Nest Success ⏲️ Quick Take - It is Time To Honor Yourself 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Welcome to my first Quick Take episode!

Inspiration hit me just as I was wrapping up recording episode 160 to look back at some content (no plan) and see if I could come up with three quick episodes that way. I did!

I love this idea for reviewing content from the past, and it provides an easy way to deliver weekly episodes again. 

Let's see how this goes! 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The plan doesn't have to be your boss."

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

An Empty Nest Success - Quick Take Episode:  "The plan doesn't have to be your boss." Your Empty Nest Coach podcast #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #MakingAPlan #Havefun

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Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 161

FULL TRANSCRIPT

This is an empty nest success quick take. A quick episode, in between my monthly episodes, where I look back at content I created before, and share it briefly. Enjoy!

[level-up music]

It feels right to look at the very first email I ever sent as part of Your Empty Nest Coach. I use Active Campaign, so I went into my emails and saw what I sent. 

In May of 2019, I was testing the system. And I sent an email to one singular person. That was me! 

The title of that email was Thursday, thoughts about “That thing.” I love(d) the idea of having a Thursday thoughts about email: just quick thoughts. 

I tend to be way more wordy these days. And looking at this, I like how short and sweet this is. It didn't yet have as much to share either, though.

So here's what I said to myself: 

[music plays under this segment (reading)]

That thing you keep thinking about, that thing you keep saying, “I'll do it later.” 

It is time. 

Time to make a plan and honor yourself by starting now.

Do it. 

I believe in you. 

I even have a little meme there. I was fancy. 

[end music]

Here I am, years later, looking at this email that I sent to myself just to test things. Basically, I was creating content that I wanted to receive from others. 

Looking back at this very first email (that I sent myself) makes me incredibly thankful that I did make the plan; that I did honor myself by starting. The me [of] back then wouldn't believe the things that I have accomplished in this time. 

It has been slow and steady, beautiful, stressful (sometimes), messy for sure. 

I've felt all the emotions, but I'm ever so thankful that past me did take the time to make a plan. 

The plan doesn't have to be your boss. 

The plan can be vague. 

Sometimes just making the plan is the first step. 

Make making the plan fun. And guess what, you don't have to accomplish everything that you want tomorrow. 

Have fun with it! 

And my friend, you are amazing. 💚

[end music]

[end]

160: Empty Nest Success – Give Your Child Space and Reaching Parenting Goals💚

160: Empty Nest Success - Give Your Child Space and Reaching Parenting Goals💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Inspiration versus Motivation: it has been on my mind in all areas of my life.

In this episode, I share the idea of giving your child(ren) space to be inspired.

As I listened back to the episode, "inspirational parenting" came to mind to sum this up. 

However, how I explain those two words here and what first comes to mind for you may be vastly different. I'd love to know your thoughts!

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Give your children the space to be inspired to have a relationship with you: wouldn’t all of us much rather be with people who love us for who we are rather than remind us who we aren’t?"

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

Empty Nest Success - inspirational parenting? This may not be what you had in mind. 🤔More in episode 160 of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast 🎙️ #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #inspirationalparenting #parenting 

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 01:19  Quick Reminders
  • 01:57  My Wish For You Today - Wisdom from Within
  • 03:57  New Things: Repairs, and more repairs - a new thing I love
  • 04:45 My Lessons Learned: Inspired vs. Motivational parenting
  • 10:58 Ask Coach Christine: I've Always Wanted to Be a Mother - Now What?
  • 12:03 Christine, Where Are You? BabyBoomer.org
  • 13:07  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? Standup Comedy
  • 14:09  Two Questions For You
  • bloopers 😆
  • 15:38 Still listening? 

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. Was being a parent what you always wanted to do?
  2. Do you allow your child - or children - the space to be inspired into a relationship with you

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 160

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #160. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though; all are welcome here, as I’m focused on coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life, and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

Here we go..

[up beat music]

00:00:50

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:19

Before we dive in -a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for a free account to unlock a sampling of those resources -  head over to  EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. Training Team, or purchase other premium content.

Want to know more about the C.E.O. Training team? I’ll share more at the tail end of this episode. 

If you are looking for something specific or would like to hop around within this episode, you’ll find time markers in the show notes.

00:01:57

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you realize the power you have within yourself. For example, take a moment to think of the you of ten years ago. Remember a happening in your life where you were stressed out and wondering how things were going to play out. Do you have it? Now jump to you of today, being you of many years later, what would you want to tell that amazing younger version of yourself? 

Feel free to pause here while you think about it. 

So I ask you, would you say something to your younger self that is encouraging - for example: “I know this feels like the end of the world right now. That is valid. You can work through that emotion, and also, I want you to know that you will manage through this, and you will look back on this one day and know you did it. I’m so thankful you are taking the steps you are taking right now but don’t forget to breathe, don’t forget to have some fun, don’t forget who you are, and don’t forget that you are doing an amazing job with all that you have on your plate. I believe in you. I am thankful for you, and I love you.” 

Was it something like that? 

Hopefully, what you came up with makes you feel good. If not, feel free to adjust it a bit until you come up with wording that you believe AND that makes you feel good. 

And NOW, knowing that there is a future version of yourself that might want to say the same exact thing to you today - about things that might not be super comfortable in the present, you can use those same words for yourself.  

Sure, I love reminding you how amazing you are but what is more important is that YOU believe and trust in your own amazingness. You’ve got this. You are navigating this life without an instruction manual, and let’s be honest, that is no joke.

00:03:57

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

My  personal new things, lately, have been  - well - here are some examples: an unexpected new water heater, new roof repairs, a new car battery booster pack, oh, I do have a fun one (yes, this is fun for me) - solar panels for my portable generator. But in general, really fun stuff, right? 

In all seriousness, though, I wish I had purchased the car battery booster pack years ago. Now, I don’t need another vehicle to jump my car, and feel confident I can help others if they ever need it. Do you have one of those? 

I’ll put a link to the one I purchased in my show notes. Now that I have one and have seen how great they work, I believe everyone should have one of these - and no, this is not an ad or an affiliate link - I just love the thing.

00:04:45

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

[inspirational music plays under this segment]

Give your children the space to be inspired to have a relationship with you. 

 Let me say that again. 

Give your children the space to be inspired to have a relationship with you. 

For many of us who have or have had our identities wrapped up in being a parent, this may feel super uncomfortable. 

I’ve learned this lesson by watching my clients. I’ve been able to witness clingy moms who self-identify as “smotherers”  - you know, like the Goldbergs? I’ve watched them begin to cautiously provide space to their children. Children who move out of the house, travel the world or take an activity that is difficult to comprehend as their parent. 

The discomfort is fierce at first, and then it begins to level out into a calm ripple, if you will, until new emotions appear, such as surprise that they went days without worrying about their adult child. Or amazement that something they would have earlier lost their cool about or phoned all their friends to complain about for hours on end, well, these same parents now roll with the punches and find themselves even wondering, “What’s the big deal?”

Sometimes, they find that their children are at first unsettled by the change they are seeing in their parent - discomfort even - not in a painful way but more of a “who is this parent of mine, because I haven’t seen this side of them before.” 

I’ve watched that parent who can’t seem to let go, holding so tight and causing their child to run away as fast as possible. I’ve seen that same parent emerge into a parent who appreciates where they are and what is ahead for them and their kiddo - even when that means they are continents away. 

I’ve been able to hear first-account stories of the same children who couldn’t leave home fast enough to gain their freedom, become children who invite said-parent on trips with them, and also do things for mom and dad they never would have done before.

I’ve been reflecting on this lately. No, it’s not a scientific study - simply observation of some families. It does, though, make sense to me that when we, as parents, remove the forced expectations on our children in how they must behave and show up for us, that they then have the space to be inspired to have a relationship with us. 

We’ve all heard it: If you love something, let it go.

And I don’t know about you, but I’ll choose an inspired relationship over a forced and motivated relationship any day. 

It is better for everyone. It is better energy, and there is the space for everyone to be themselves. It’s beautiful. Sure, there are still messy moments, but they tend to be threaded with a lot more joy and silliness and overall fun.

Is there a downside to giving your child space? 

When we do give them space and remove expectations, they have the opportunity to become keenly aware of the space. And this is where the blocks of relationship building that you have done up until this point matter. 

If you give them space and in their reflection, they come to the conclusion that you don’t really love them - or like them - for who they are and that you really don’t have their back at all.  They may not ever be inspired to relationship building with you. 

I know, it’s really tough love, but it does happen. My guess, though, I’ll be honest, if you are listening to this podcast, this is NOT you.

But, my two cents - you can take them or leave them - is that I do believe most relationships can be healed if both parties are willing to show up in a way that gives space to one another. In a way where they’re aware that their own happiness depends on themselves - not on the other person.

I also believe in parental apologies where they are necessary- we are all human, anyway, and make mistakes. Sometimes we’re simply doing what we’ve been modeled our whole life. 

We can learn. We can do better as we learn. We can apologize. We can forgive.   

What we can’t do, ultimately, is control another human being. And would you want that kind of relationship long-term? 

What we can do is be responsible for ourselves.

We can learn to love ourselves; we can treat ourselves better - setting an example (even if it is a new one) to our children, and then we can hold space for them to be who they are. 

What a gift. 

Wouldn’t all of us would much rather be with people who love us for who we are rather than remind us who we aren’t?

My listener, take care of yourself, my beautiful friend. Love on yourself. Allow your children space to be who they are - and love them for that - no more, no less. 

Let them fail. Let them try things. Let them live. Celebrate for them when they are happy and let them know that you want a relationship for life with them, and talk about what that looks like for both of you - knowing that over time, how it looks may change.

Know, though, as you both grow more into who you are because the space is there to do that, you very well may be gifted with a stronger relationship than ever before. 

Being a human and a parent isn’t easy. 

I’d like to see my kiddo live life fully as they are meant to. 

And if that means I’m in their life more or less - it is okay because they aren’t on this planet to serve me. 

I’ve received the most thoughtful gifts, learned amazing lessons, been invited on trips, and am inspired all the time by my daughter. I can’t imagine a life where I forced more of what I need, what I expect, and I believe onto her. I know one thing for sure: I wouldn’t have any idea who she really was, and there’s a chance she wouldn’t either. 

00:10:58

[computer game level up music (short)]

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, I’ve always wanted to be a mother. Now what? 

I have heard this statement more than a few times from clients. Their life goal was to be a mother. Now that their child (or children) are moving out and on - in whatever capacity - they struggle with, “what now?” because that was their goal. 

How incredible is it really, if this is you, you’ve reached your life goal? 

First of all, parenthood doesn’t end because your child moves out. It does change. More than likely, you’ll see them again if you’ve earned a relationship with them, and, yes, we talked about that in the last segment.

Absolutely,  things are going to be different in this new phase of life. 

Parenthood should look different in the upcoming years, and now you get the amazing opportunity to create brand new life goals while knowing you’ve reached one.  That’s amazing!  

00:12:03

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?

Well, of course, C.E.O. Training Team to Empty Nest Success members have access to me, and I’m often creating resources for that space. I’m also traveling for an event or two and, believe it or not, taking some time off in October - [gasp]. 

And BabyBoomer.org! You’ll find this podcast now included in BabyBoomer.org’s podcast hub! BabyBoomer.org is the ultimate baby boomer news, guide & community - you’ll find topics such as news, entertainment, lifestyle, relationships, and more there. Full transparency, I’m not a baby boomer. I did mention that, and they thought my content was a great fit for their website visitors, so we have a lovely partnership  - also check out the many other podcasts listed there as well! The link in my show notes will take you to the Kids & Family section of their listed podcasts

00:13:07

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments, and then also do the deeper work as needed. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time because sometimes things that worked well for you two years ago or a month ago, just  aren’t working any longer.

Today, I’m sharing a top-of-the-toolbox item and it's standup comedy.  My daughter invited me to see comedian Chris Fleming with her last weekend. The venue was incredibly intimate, which made it a bit surreal.  Comedy is so good for the soul, and I do love using laughter as a reset. And laugh, we did! My face hurt for two days from all of the laughing. I’ll link some of my favorite Chris Fleming videos in my show notes - and try the one that’s E.T. related.

00:14:09

Two Questions for You

Question 1: Was being a parent what you always wanted to do? 

and Question 2: Do you allow your child - or children - the space to be inspired into a relationship with you? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy[ed] this episode, please don’t forget to share it with others; it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Also, don’t forget to follow this podcast - Your Empty Nest Coach - in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home. You may also join my Thursday Thoughts about email list, where I’ll pop in your inbox with a thought and updates on most Thursdays. Those are the best ways to be notified when I release a new episode.

All the links and resources I mentioned, you’ll find in this episode’s show notes. 

Of course, I’ll be back next month with a new episode!

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, may you provide yourself space to discover who you are because YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:15:27

[bloopers]

00:15:38  

Still Listening?

Well, I’m intrigued. You’ve listened this far; why have you not joined the C.E.O. Training Team [to Empty Nest Success]?

There’s tons of resources there for you! 

We have Power Hours every Monday to reset yourself - you can show up (or not). You’ll get four private coaching sessions (15-minutes) with me to utilize however you like over six months of time.

You get all of the resources I’ve created to date, including workshops on a variety of topics, some lessons, what-if affirmations that show up weekly, and more.

I’d love for you to join us!

[end music]

[end]

Episode 40: The problem with HUGE goals

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend!
 
Do you have huge goals in your life but don’t know where to start? The huge goals are just the beginning. Today, I talk about how to view your big goals in a way that will allow you to take action in your life. I can’t wait to see what you do! 
 
Take a listen or read the full transcript below. 
 
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll all the way down ⇓ so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
 



Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

    • Why a big goal may cause inaction in your life
    • How to notice your go-to big thought that causes inaction
    • What to do when you notice your too-big thoughts and goals

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you have a BIG goal that is causing inaction in your life?
  2. Are you ready to notice where you need to challenge yourself more?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn’t make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

 


Full Transcript

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Episode 39: Courage Addiction

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend!
 
I have a quick message for you today about being courageous. 
 
Enjoy! 
 
Take a listen or read the full transcript below. 
 
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll all the way down ⇓ so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
 

Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

This Episode is Brought to You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

    • To consider doing things while being afraid
    • To gain confidence by stepping into situations that require courage
    • That you are stronger than any emotion that will arise when you are afraid

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. What have you done that required courage? 
  2. Are you ready to notice where you need to challenge yourself more?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn’t make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

 


Full Transcript

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Episode 38: Michele’s Story, Loving Through the Empty Nest, Raped as a Teenager and How it Changed Her Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend!
 
In this episode, Michele shares a portion of her life story with us and opens up to show us what helped her get through the remaining emotions and trauma she had from a teenage rape – or should I say, “who helped her.” The gift she received is one we all can learn from for our life. 
 
Your complete presence in any moment will allow you to comfort others in a way that they may not even know they need.
 
I invite you to listen to Michele’s story and share it with anyone who needs to hear it. 
 
Take a listen or read the full transcript below. 
 
⇓⇓⇓ Tons of info below, too! Scroll all the way down ⇓ so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode

    • An introduction to Michele
    • Michele’s story of overcoming a teenage rape
    • How Michele tells her story
    • What helped Michele to move on and own her story
    • Michele’s advice to parents
    • What Michele can’t live without
    • And more!

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. What have you had to overcome to become who you are today?
  2. How are you telling your story?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn’t make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:


Full Transcript

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!