111: Christine, My Child Isn’t in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

111: Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Believe it or not, non-empty-nest humans listen to my podcast!

What?

Yep!

Since I create these episodes with someone in mind who isn't quite yet in the empty nest, this makes sense! Sure, many of my examples are empty nest specific, but you can change them to apply to your current circumstance.  Empty nest or not, thanks for listening, my beautiful friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... the lessons I teach are life lessons. Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only seven years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙No empty nest? You can still listen to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast! You don't even have to tell anyone. 😉 Empty Nest or not, this is good stuff! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #NoEmptyNest #YouCanListen 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Why It Makes Sense That Not-So-Empty-Nesters Enjoy My Podcast
  • If This is You, How to Choose Specific Episodes

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Is the empty nest part of your life at the moment?
  2. Do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 111 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and today I answer the question; Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me?  And this is episode number 111.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  What amazingness are you up to, today?  I’d love for you to share it with me.  Visit me over on Instagram @emptynestcoach or send me an email: podcast@youremptynestcoach.com and tell me what amazingness you are up to, and this is your amazingness.  You could have finished writing a novel, or you could have managed to get out of bed despite not wanting to.  We celebrate all wins here, and I get excited when you win.  So don’t hesitate to share them with me.  Woo hoo!  Let’s do this. 

00:01:28

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:17

Someone reached out to me recently for some help with empty nesting, and made the mention “but my child isn’t in college.”  We talked back and forth a bit and hopefully she found my insight helpful.  So here’s the thing, I do have a lot of episodes focused on college, and this is why: if I can catch some of you mamas before you hit the super empty nest permanent years, and am able to help you prepare for the transition, then I feel like I will have been able to assist not only you, but also your child or children, and potentially others in the house.  If you are feeling peaceful about where you are as your child leaves, then you will be able to enjoy the moments leading up to it more. 

00:02:59

Now, all that being said, the lessons I teach are life lessons.  Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only 7 years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you.  If your child left two, ten or twenty years ago, and you're still having some trouble adjusting, I’m here for you.  Here’s the underlying message I want you to hear; I’m here for you.  Guess what? If you are a father, I’m here for you!

00:03:34

Most of my episodes that are specific to college are labeled appropriately in the title.  You may find many of my examples are around college situations, but adjust the who, what and when to your own life, and see how that works for you. And if you would like to give me an example for future episode topics, I’m always open to your ideas.  I’m creating this for you, anyway.  Well, to be perfectly honest, part of me creates it for my daughter, too, should I not be on this earth when she hits these years.  And also, while I don’t listen to every episode back all the time, but sometimes when I’m stuck on something, I’ll go, wait, I did an episode on this, and I’ll find that it’s actually crazy helpful.  Isn’t that weird?  When you think about it, I create an episode motivated by my future self. My future self then goes back and gains insight from my past self.  Whoa.  It might be a little bit too much?

00:04:32

Anyway, back to college or not. In the end, all of us, mother, or not a mother, young or old, rich or poor, are left alone with our thoughts, and our thoughts about the happenings in our life have more power than most of us realize.  I talk about this in my episodes, of course, and it is the underlying principle in all that I teach, so if you are a single 35-year-old male who enjoys my podcast, thanks for listening.  If you are a 65-year-old woman who entered empty nesting 15 years ago and is still figuring out how to navigate it all, thanks for listening.

00:05:09

Adjust the examples as needed, pick the episodes as needed,  and I would love to know that you are listening.  Send me a message, you’ll make my day.  I guess you could be wondering if you are welcome in our GPS Support Flock. Honestly, if you like this podcast then yes, of course! You are welcome to join! In the flock, I am able to assist with accountability, I’ll cheer you on and I have a place where you can ask anonymous questions.  Have a question? Just let me know!

[Music] 

00:05:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, is the empty nest part of your life at this moment?  And two, do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

[Music]

00:05:49

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lankester here, Midlife Mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com.  My top tip today is to remember what you’re told on the airplane.  Always tend to your own mask first, before helping someone else.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll do a pretty poor job of looking after anyone else.

[Music]

00:06:12

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information on how to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  Well, that’s a wrap.  Guess what?  You are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:06:55

Still listening?  As I gather my thoughts for this script, it is August 29, of 2020. Our world just lost the beautiful, creative  soul of Chadwick Boseman from his battle with colon cancer. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage III at age 38.  So, it’s about the same age.  Working through the treatments is no joke. People do it; so many people we’ll never know about, and some you’ll know everything about.  It sucks.  Cancer sucks.  Death sucks.  I mention Chadwick Boseman and colon cancer, today, because, well any time colon cancer is in the news, it hits home for our family.  And please don’t think for a minute that you can’t get it because you aren’t older than 50, obviously, it happens, so don’t ignore symptoms. Get to your doctor if you have any doubts and trust your gut if you feel something isn’t right. I’ll link to resources on colon cancer in my show notes. 

[Music]

[End]


105: Aaaand My Child’s School Went Online Again 😮

105: Aaaand My Child's School Went Online Again 😮

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I had another topic scheduled for today, but with my clients, friends, and colleagues struggling with figuring out their fall season this year due to school changes, I sat down in front of the mic to share some unscripted thoughts with you. Forgive the rabbit trails. 🐰

My friend, please know that while the next few months look like a hot mess, you can handle it.  

Here are some thoughts to try on. Adjust as needed. 💚

  • "This isn't what we planned at all, but we will figure out how to make it work, and I'll be patient with myself as I navigate the journey forward."
  • "This isn't what we planned. I'm not sure what the future looks like, but I can figure out my next best step at this moment - even if it is to stare at the wall to calm my brain."   
    • Let's be real. Sometimes this is needed.
  • "Online again: Well, I know what didn't work last time around. How can I change those areas?" 
  • "Online again: I can adapt in ways that I couldn't imagine a year ago. This won't look the way I had planned, and that's okay."

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be there for your children. All of the thoughts and anxiety that  you have (about our current situation) they feel that - and they have their own. So I encourage you to get to know them no matter their age - what's going on in their mind?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙Coach Christine shares unscripted thoughts with you about the online education announcements that we are being gifted with daily. 💚 #OnlineEducation #NotSoEmptyNest #SchooIsOnline #FallPlans #SchoolPlans

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Watch Your Thoughts
  • Look at What You Are Considering Homeschooling
  • Consider True Homeschooling
  • Consider Cyber Schools
  • Why I Call Our Children (even those over 18) Children
  • To Consider the Level of Risk You Are Willing to Take and Do Your Thought Work

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 105 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 105: And My Child’s School Went Online Again.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I have had two different topics that I had planned to do today, and the more I see schools moving online, be it college or elementary school, middle school, high school, and parents, you know, rightly so, going right to freak out mode.  I understand there are so many things to think about.  I thought, you know, I was a homeschooling mother, so I’d like to share some thoughts with you that hopefully help you, moving forward.

00:01:27

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a question or a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 105 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P105).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:18

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:03:06

An extra thank you to bruh bruh Cuh-zoh who graciously took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. The encouraging review is titled: “Listening to a Friend!”  “From business, to parenting, to social issues coach Christine tackles them all in great form! I subscribed instantly and will listen regularly.”  This makes me feel so good.  Thank you.  You all know if you are regular listeners, I talk about this periodically, that podcasting is a quiet medium in regard to feedback.  So, thanks, Cuh-zoh!

00:03:41

Now, as I mentioned before, I had a totally different topic planned for today.  But here it is Sunday, the episode comes out Friday, and I’ve been watching colleges and schools move back to being online for fall, due to COVID-19.  Make sure you are really watching your Protector around all of the changes that are happening for your family’s schooling situation.  If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that we can handle change.  We initially think we’re not going to be able to handle this.  It’s going to be awful.  All of the plans we had are up in the air or not happening at all.  But guess what?  We can handle it.

00:04:26

We need to check our thoughts.  We need to be in tune with our Protector.  We need to watch those thought deliveries that are continually being tossed at us over and over, and over again, from our family members, from the media, from school, from well-intentioned friends, from friends who have different views and values, and ideas about how the upcoming school year is going to go.  You need to know you.  You need to watch your thought deliveries 100 percent.  

00:04:59

I want to say a few things about if your child is going online, and I’m going to talk about all age ranges real quick.  If your child’s school is online, and they are younger than high school, I want to challenge you in that if you thought what you did in the spring was homeschooling, I just want to say, no, it was not.  That’s all.

00:05:23

Well, no, that’s not all.  But when your brick and mortar school is forced to go online very quickly to an infrastructure that they are not set up to do; that teachers are not educated in how to teach online; that your child probably can do it better than them, because they spend more time on technology.  I’m not talking about subject matter.  That, and then you expecting to help them teach a lesson that you know nothing about, that my friend, is not homeschooling.  I don’t want you to give homeschooling a bad rap, because homeschooling can be amazing.  Amazing!  There are no forms to fill out.  Well, you have your end of year and beginning of year, and things you need to do for your state that you live in, legal things.  But you don’t have these forms coming in daily that you have to sign for tomorrow.  You don’t have projects that your child didn’t tell you about, that you suddenly have to help them with.  Your parent/teacher conferences are now you are heading out to have coffee, and you can pat yourself on the back, because you got to plan your day.  Yeah, homeschooling has really bad days, but it also has really good days, and you have a lot more control on what it looks like.  Guess what?  I didn’t even teach new math.  I didn’t have to.  [Giggle].

00:06:51

I just want to share with you, if your child’s young and you do have the opportunity to do traditional homeschooling, and that would work for your family, do research.  Look into it.  You can reach out to me; email me, DM me on the socials.  I am happy to talk about homeschooling, any time.  

00:07:09

Homeschooling for every family looks different.  Some have no curriculum whatsoever, that’s called unschooling.  Others replicate what brick and mortar school looks like right in their house, and that’s what works for them.  It’s all good.  And then, in the middle you have cyber schools, so I want to introduce you to the idea of cyber schools if you haven’t considered them.  Whether it’s temporary or long-term, it might be the right fit for your family, right now.

00:07:36

I share this with you because cyber schools are already set up with the infrastructure to teach online.  They already have teachers who are used to teaching online.  They have a support system, maybe not enough this year, because I’m willing to bet that most cyber schools are completely inundated with enrollment requests, but they normally have plenty of people that will help you and they know what to look for when your child isn’t doing well.  They have check-in sessions.  They can handle the IEPs online, so definitely check this out.  I’m not saying it’s the way to go, just check it out.

00:08:18

Now, if your child is technically an adult, 18 or over, yes, I like to use child no matter the age, because I’m still my mother’s child, and I’m almost 50.  Back to college.  So your child’s school moves online.  Take deep breaths.  Try to hold your thoughts until you're alone: say them out loud; say them to a friend; write them down.  Encourage your child to do the same thing.  There are a lot of variables here, too.  Who’s paying for college, is it you?  Is it them?  Do they have merit scholarships, where if they don’t go back, if they take a gap year, they’re going to lose it?  So ultimately, it doesn’t make any financial sense for them not to attend, even if it is only online. 

00:09:09

Here’s the thing, I don’t have the answer for you.  What my child’s doing and what your child’s doing, does not have to be the same.  It doesn’t have to look remotely the same.  We have totally different circumstances.  The reason my daughter is at the school she is, is completely for her to have peers that she has not had in her life.  It is the best decision we have ever made, and for her to stay home, online, at a time when she could be on campus.  Yes, there are risks involved.  We are well aware of them.  But she has decided it’s worth the risk.  She might change her mind in a week, and that’s okay.  But ultimately, the things that we can control, the things that make the biggest difference in our lives, are knowing who we are as humans, and encouraging our children to know who they are as humans.  And to be able to make a decision knowing all the facts that you know in the moment, to feel peaceful with that, and to be able to look ahead in a few years, think about yourself, and then try looking back, and going, hmm, do I think I’m happy with that decision?  Do I wish I had taken the risk?  Do I wish I had stayed home instead of taking the risk?  Who am I?

00:10:28

This is really valuable work, and it shouldn’t be something that is decided based on what you read online; based on what 80 percent of the people are doing.  Yes, it should be decided on facts that impact health, your immune system and safety, and from there, the actual decision should be yours.  It should be your child’s, your family’s, and move forward.  Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.  There is a lot of worrying what everyone else is doing.  Guess what?  No, everyone is not going to wear their mask at a college campus.  We all know this.  But you can go to Walmart and people aren’t all wearing masks, so let’s be real.  

00:11:21

This is how life works.  You figure out what risk you’re willing to take and you take it, or you don’t take it, and that’s the decision you make.  And then, you have a lot of thought work to do around that decision.  Like, a lot of thought work.  Just when you think you’re done with that thought work, there’s going to be more.  Yup, it’s a big roller coaster, and that is from my flock member, Michelle.

00:11:48

So my friend, I really, really, really, really could talk about homeschooling versus not homeschooling, and I really didn’t talk about it a lot in here, because I just know it will be four hours long.  If you want to know something: if you want to know thoughts; if you want to know what my experience is; just ask a question and I am more than happy to answer it in an upcoming episode.  I think that’s the best way to go, rather than me talk for 40 minutes about something that might not be of interest to you.  But know this, you know what’s best.  You need to trust yourself.

00:12:20

Your child, if they’re 18 or older, and they can drive away and pay for their college, and they decide to do something that you think is just not the right decision, well, I bet you did some of that stuff when you were their age.  This is their time to figure it out: to try the crazy things; to try the things that, yeah, there might be a lot of risk; it might be amazing; it might be awful, but you don’t know until you try.  Be there for your children right now.  All the thoughts and anxiety that you have about our current situation, they feel that, and they have their own.  I encourage you to get to know them no matter their age.  What’s going on in their mind?  You know?  If they’re five, hey, how’re you doing today?  Do you have any big thoughts that you want to talk about?  If they’re 18, be like, hey, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now, but like, if there’s anything that you just want to throw out there, and we can discuss, let’s do it.  There is no better way to get to know your kids.  But hold the space for them.  Listen to them.  If your gut reaction is to be like, ugh, I don’t like this, and you can feel it, just stop.  Take deep breaths.  Be curious about why you’re thinking that, and you know, be curious to them, why do you think that’s going to happen?  Why do you think that wouldn’t happen to you?  Enjoy this.  If you get more time with your kids right now, enjoy it, because the empty nest is going to show up eventually.

00:14:08

While you may have a honeymoon period where you are very excited that your children are back in school, or moved out of the house, there comes a time where you realize you miss them.  So take deep breaths, enjoy the time with them now, and bond so that when they do leave, they find themselves wanting to call mom.  Maybe not everyday.  All right, I’m just going to stop there.  Let me know what you think.  I’ll be back next week.  Remember, my friend, you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening] - Lessons from a spider web - Episode #26 - Changing Your Mind is Okay.

[End]

104: Campfire Lessons – Did You Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

104: Campfire Lessons: Did you Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

A few weeks ago, I booked a local campsite for 24 hours to reset myself. Wow, I needed that! In this episode, I share my campfire thoughts with you. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Giving up at any one step doesn't mean you are a failure; it just means you stopped doing it."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 Coach Christine shares her campfire thoughts with you in this episode: failure and adjustments are today's topic 💚 #Campfire #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #CampfireLesson #NewEpisode #StopTrying #MovingForward

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A Couple of Useful Thoughts To Have When You are Working Toward a Goal

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?
  2. Have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 104 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 104: Campfire Lessons:  Did You Fail or Did You Stop Trying?  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  If this is your first time here, thanks for checking out my podcast.  If you are a regular listener, I can’t thank you enough.  Today’s episode is primarily my thoughts as I sat by the campfire recently.  You know I love analogies and I’m fairly certain I’ve shared this one in a variety of ways with you but always, I make a small spin that’s different.  Thanks for listening to my casual fireside chat, quite literally, I hope you enjoy it!

00:01:23

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 104 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P104).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:12

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:55

An extra thank you today, to Dale@CrushCollegeStress who took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts!  Thank you, Dale!  She titled her review “Coffee With a Friend” and well, I am going to encourage you to head over to Apple Podcasts and read it yourself.  Maybe leave your own review while you are there.  Yeah, I’m going to make you work today.

00:03:23

I would like to let you all know that I understand the upcoming fall season may not look the way you were expecting it to look. I’m going to add a chat area in the GPS Support Flock membership specific to the Not So Empty Nest, so if you are struggling with your children not leaving the house, that space will be for you. 

All right, let’s get to our campfire chat.

00:03:47

Hi, so I am at a campsite, and I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.  I shared it a little bit on Instagram.  Excuse my stuffed up nose, my allergies are off the charts, but I love being in nature so much, it is worth it to me.  I am at a campsite.  It’s local.  I drive about 28 minutes to get to this place, and last night, my daughter and I came out, did a campfire, we went back home.  That was enough for her.  She does not like the exit of the tent at night or the restrooms, when you come out and it’s suddenly, like really dark.  She is not a fan of sleeping over.  I normally do, but I thought let me try this, with COVID, and everything, any extra time I spend in the public restrooms is probably not good.  I went home last night, slept, came back this morning, by myself.  I’ve been reading, doing a couple posts on Instagram, prepping for an interview that’s coming up in a few weeks, which you would have already heard, with Dr. Jill Grimes, or I guess I say it Jill Grimes, MD, is the proper way to say it.

00:05:04

So many thoughts are with me about building a fire.  When I build a fire, first of all, it took me multiple times to get to a point where I can open my toolbox and easily grab the magnesium and steel, and feel confident enough that within a minute max, I will have a flame on a cotton ball.  So that’s how I start my fire.  But it took me time to get to that point, right?  So that’s like step one.  It’s like leveling up.  If you look at my analogies back with leveling up, and simmering, this whole thing’s a big simmer.  That was level up one.  Then, there’s the wood.  I’ve talked about this, I think in my retreat video, where in other places, fires just used to always be taken care of by the men who were camping, and it’s just something I wanted to be able to do.  Figuring out where the wood is, to purchase.  I’m in Pennsylvania, you can’t bring wood from an outside area in, because of bugs and lantern flies.  The last time I stayed here it took me 10 or 15 minutes to drive outside of the park to find somebody selling the wood.  I knew that ahead of time, now.  I picked that up on the way in, so that was easy. Okay, there’s another level up, and that’s kind of a side later level up, when you think about it chronologically.

00:06:38

Then there’s the wood.  Now watching the men in the family build fires, there were two types of wood they always used.  Now, I know that they were using, tinder and logs, and that’s really it.  Sometimes maybe newspapers would be put in there.  Sometimes we’d use firelogs to start the fire, or those little FireStarter packets that would start the fire, and it would go long enough so that a log would catch.  So, it took me a while to actually go, okay, I’m not doing this right.  How am I going to do this?  So, you know, Youtube to the rescue, and discover that tinder, kindling and the log are all needed, and the tinder is what I had prior called kindling, just to confuse you.  Discovering this is awesome.  There’s this middle piece of wood that I have needed.

00:07:43

So then, I went and bought an axe.  This is two or three levels up in camping trips.  I bought my own axe, you know that story if you listen to me.  I love my axe.  It’s green, of course.  And learned that after I purchase the wood, I can split it some more and create some kindling, and then, from that, you can create tinder, or I just pick up sticks from the ground.  All right, so those are the components.  That’s like a whole other level up.  But then, it’s like putting it all together.  I have all the pieces.  I think I’ve camped five or six times solo, that I’ve tried this or with family where I’ve started to learn how to build my own fire.  For the first time, this weekend, I was able to very quickly know what to do, remember all the steps.  I did call tinder and kindling the reverse.  I was teaching my daughter, no, this is tinder and this is kindling.  I was wrong, and I needed to learn another thing because I was having trouble with my axe trying to get pieces of kindling out of the logs for this trip, but I figured it out.  I went home, looked it up and I can consistently, now build a fire.  So there’s the one lesson, is in anything that you do, you have all these steps involved.  And giving up at any one step, doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means you stopped doing it.  Right?  I could have stopped at any point and said I can’t make a fire.  It doesn’t mean I can’t make a fire, it just means I stopped trying.  So, there’s lesson one.  Lesson two is once you get to a point where the fire is going, multiple times it will look like it is going out, and if you don’t maintain the fire, and at first, it needs a lot of work.  Just like if you’re losing weight, if you’re building a business, if you’re discovering who you are.  If you want a new career, if you want to learn a new hobby.  The very beginning, there’s a lot of work involved with it.  Learning all the pieces, and it’s the same thing.  Hello, airplane.  Do you hear the airplane?  I will wait ‘til the airplane passes.

00:10:01

Okay, I think the plane’s gone enough.  So, as you build the fire, and you get started, it takes a lot of work in the beginning to get the flames going enough to get the tinder caught, then get the kindling caught to catch onto the log.  Follow me?  Now we have a fire.  Let’s say we got to the point where the fire’s burning.  If you leave it and walk away, it will eventually go out.  It doesn’t mean that there aren’t things of value at the bottom of that fire.  There are those coals.  If you walk up to the fire that looks like it’s out, sometimes all you need to do is blow, give it a little air and it will reignite completely.  That’s just like anything we learn.  Sometimes when we go back to it, we think like it’s gone, we’re not going to do it anymore.  But we go back and it’s so much easier to start because those coals are going there for us.  Sometimes, we let it go so long, we don’t maintain it, we don’t keep up on things, that it’s not just blowing a little air on it.  We also need to move the logs around a little bit, so we need to just flip them.  Move them in different areas.  We don’t even necessarily need to add anything, just flip things around, mix it up and suddenly you have a full fire again.  

00:11:27

So I want to encourage you if you’re working on something whether it’s yourself, it’s a project with others, just know no fire just goes right from magnesium and steel, flick, phoom, into a fire you can now cook over, and take care of yourself, and heat yourself.  No, there’s work.  There’s stages and they are all worth it.  They’re all worth it.  The best part is the skills that you learn in building the fire are now things that you can come back to and utilize again.  You can start a brand new fire in a different area in your life, and you have the skills, the resources and you have the faith in yourself that you can come back and complete it.  Enjoy, there’s your campfire lesson for today.  I believe in you.  You can process through the moments that feel like you’re making no progress.  Sure you can walk away, and that is your decision.  Also know that you can walk away and come back later.  I believe in you, you are amazing.  Thanks for listening.  This is your campfire lesson for today.

[Music]

00:12:39 

I hope you enjoyed my fireside chat, friend.  The questions I have for you in this episode are: do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?  And two, have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

[Music]

00:13:01

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lancaster here, MidLife Mentor from MagnificentMidLife.com.  Today, I’d like you to remember that even if you feel like you’re stuck in the messy middle of life, you are actually coming into your prime.  And midlife is absolutely the time for you to shine.

00:13:26

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast.  It’s free. Go ahead. You can do it right now. If you already have and you can take a screenshot of this episode and share it on the socials, that would be incredible.  My handle is @EmptyNestCoach.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  Well, it is time for me to wrap this up, and you know what that means, it is time for me to remind you that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

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100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wow - episode 100!

I decided to celebrate this milestone by sharing lessons learned from podcasting, creating a business, and life. 

Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be In it For The Long Haul. Take the amount of time you think it will take, double it, double it again, and then triple it: THAT amount of time. If you are good with THAT amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots, and changes needed along the way."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Wow: episode 100! In celebration, I reflect on best tips for podcasting, creating a business, and life. Enjoy! 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster #PodcastLife #Entrepreneur #LifeTips #Advice

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What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • My Top Advice for Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

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Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do any of these resonate with you? 
  2. Do you have lessons learned to share with others?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 100 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 100: Lessons Learned, Advice I’m Glad I Took or Wish I Had Taken. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! How are you doing today? I am super excited to have this celebration with you today. You know how I like to celebrate things. While I certainly don’t need a party or anything like that, I need to just stop and celebrate the fact that I have consistently put out podcast episodes. I have stayed true to future Christine and I’ve made it here to 100, which isn’t always the case with podcasts. There’s a lot of podfading going on. I’m going to talk a little bit about that today.  

00:01:25

But before we get started, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 100 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P100) I still can’t believe it’s 100. Whoo Hoo! I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:15

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:03:01 

I would like to formally welcome K. Soane, PreKureMe Health Coach, in the USA, into our GPS Support Flock Membership Program. We are incredibly excited that you joined the flock and look forward to your flight to success.

00:03:19

I had a bunch of ideas on what to do with this episode and landed on doing a lessons-learned topic to share with you some things that I’ve learned since starting this podcast, and a couple other areas of my life. It’s a nice time for reflection for me and while they all may not apply directly to you, sometimes you never know what small bit of life-sharing will resonate with you. I am going to give you four lessons-learned in three areas: podcasting, business and life.

00:03:45

First up is podcasting.  Number one, your first episode won’t be your best. Not even close. If you are looking to podcast, please know, going in, that no one is happy with their first episode. You’ll want to redo your early episodes if you go back and listen to them. Just be prepared for that. Remember that done is better than perfection. Meaning if you’re waiting for perfection, or if I had been waiting for perfection, I honestly wouldn’t have an episode out at all, and here I am at 100. So just do it. Jump in and learn as you go. If you don’t believe me and you listen to a podcast of anybody, and they’re in over 100 episodes, go back and listen to their first one and see the difference.

00:04:32

Number two under podcasting: 100 Episodes is a big deal and you’re going to have a different voice at episode 100 than you did in episode 1. Do you know that most podcasters don’t make it past 7 episodes due to podfading? For real. Once the excitement wears off, there is a whole lot of steps that go into every single episode, and you get very little feedback. I’ve mentioned this before, in my episodes, that podcasting can be quite lonely. It isn’t like we have an audience right in front of us where we hear them cry, boo, cheer, laugh, and provide any feedback whatsoever, only a few gem of a human who create reviews for us or who give us a shoutout on social media, that’s really the only way that we get feedback. No going in if you’re a person who needs a lot of feedback. Podcasting might not be the best place for you, at least not initially, until you build that audience.

00:05:32

As I said, hitting 100 episodes is a big deal, if most don’t make it past 7. You get to 25, 50, and then 100, that’s a really big deal. Milestones are important. I remember someone said, I feel like it was Jess and Elsie on ShePodcasts, that they said that most podcasters don’t find their voice and get comfortable until episode 100, and I believe this. I’ve tried things. I’ve had new equipment, tried scripted, not scripted, guests, more guests, no guests. It really isn’t until now that I feel comfortable enough to hit record and not feel completely anxious every time. The anxiety is gone. I’m definitely more me and more comfortable behind the mic, and I’m more willing to just try new things. Change it up. Super fun.

00:06:21

Number three under podcasting, your show is your show. I share this with you because I often see, in some of the podcasting Facebook groups, people will be like, “Hey, I don’t know what to do.  I’m not feeling it anymore.  I think I want to change my topic,” or “I don’t want to have my podcast be weekly anymore.” Your show is your show. You can do whatever you want. That is the beauty of being, well yes, specifically, Independent Podcasters. We can do whatever we want. For a personality like mine, who I really like creative freedoms, but I like somebody to give me a project and let me run with it. I love podcasting.  I love being an Independent Podcaster, where I have full creative control over my show, whatever that means to me. Not only what it means today, but what it means to me tomorrow, what it meant to me yesterday, and those, all three things, can look different. I love that. It’s so worth the work. While yes, it is a lot of work, with your show being your show, you have complete control to change it when you want to or need to, and this is what I love most about podcasting, you sharing your voice with the world. With guests, without guests, with sponsors, without sponsors, you can make it what you want. You can change it 400 times if you want. Sure, people might get annoyed, like it’s a free podcast. Get over it. Really. People love to complain about free stuff, don’t they? Anyway, it’s your show and that is what I love about podcasting. I love it so much. So fun.

00:07:59

Okay, my final podcasting item: bad reviews are a milestone. This is really important if you are about to embark into podcasting or if you just started, or if you have a bunch of bad reviews. Remember, what this means is that it’s no longer only your friends and family listening to your show. You’re actually getting out there. Now, sure, you are going to have trolly people who say something about your giggle, or your laugh, that is just ridiculous. Especially women podcasters, we get stuff about our voices all of the time. But sometimes, those reviews are helpful; they’ll say something about your audio quality, or give you an idea. Take them all with a grain of salt, and remember that it means it’s not just your friends and family listening. Whoo Hoo! 

00:08:47

My next topic is starting a business and having future you in mind. Number one, be in it for the long haul. I’m really serious about this. When you come up with an idea for future you, and maybe it’s a business, maybe it’s a huge project, I want you to take the amount of time that you think it will take you to reach that goal, then, I want you to double it, double it again and then triple it. That amount of time. If you are good with that amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots and changes needed along the way to reach that goal. The journey is so much fun anyway, or if it isn’t, it’s going to be this awful climb. Who wants that? If you are prepared for the long haul, you aren’t going to give up when six months of effort shows one or two true fans. You’ll see you have two fans you didn’t have six months ago. When a system you spent two months learning or pouring money into doesn’t work, you’ll know it was part of a greater learning process. Finding what doesn’t work is sometimes incredibly powerful, and finding that early is a godsend. So yes, be in it for the long haul.

00:10:04

Number two for starting a business: choose time or money. Look, building a business takes time and money. The less money you have, the more time it will take. The more time you have, the less money you’ll need upfront. Just keep that in mind. Take inventory of your resources, and move forward accordingly. Number three, the power in doing things yourself. I’m a firm believer in doing things yourself when you get started. Especially if money’s an issue. If you have the time, use the time to train yourself, to educate yourself, to build your website, so then, when you have the money to hire a web designer or someone to maintain it, you know what skills you’re looking for. I know the tech behind things. I know right away when a salesperson makes an offer to me, if it’s worth it to me, or not. Usually, the answer is, it isn’t. My business, right now, is me and a dear friend who helps me with podcast editing and post-production. So, I know the skills needed when I’m ready to hire out. I have checklists and documentation ready for those new hires too. I’m spending my time doing that. Just ask my helper. I do! Number four, let future you guide you. Truly so powerful. It’s so easy to have shiny-object syndrome as we create businesses, as we create projects, and unless you have your future self guiding you, you’re just going to jump onto the next shiny object, so let future you guide you.

00:11:38

The last topic is life.  Number one, your GPS.  So incredibly important if I could make you understand your GPS internally, like magic, I would do that. Because when you do the work to uncover the future work that inspires you, you won’t need to look outside of yourself for answers. Your internal GPS will be there with you always. Always. So use her. Find her and use her.  Okay? Rant over. Maybe.

00:12:09

Number two, slow and steady. Look, in life, the five years that you take to build your business, lose weight, or create something amazing, seems so far away now. I know, I know. But when you look back you won’t believe how fast the time went and how far you have come, so where do you want to be five years from now? You don’t have to do everything overnight. Number three, mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. You’ll make more progress when you aren’t afraid of them. Number four, nature. This is personal. I love nature. Be in it as much as possible. It grounds you, and rejuvenates you. I’m ending it there, because I’m off to celebrate. If you liked these and are interested in lessons learned in other areas of my life, like particular parenting areas or maybe from my homeschooling mom years, let me know!

00:13:01

Of course, should you want to discuss any of these more with me, I invite you to join the GPS Support Flock Membership program. I have a discussion space for every episode. Fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community to join today, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me with the words Flock membership. I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend!

[Music]

00:13:28

The questions I have for you in this episode are, do any of these resonate with you? Do you have lessons learned to share with others? If you do, make sure you send it in for a Quick Tip.

[Music]

00:13:43

Today’s quick tip has been submitted by Dale Troy. Had I been a tad more organized, I would have included her tip last week which was on your anxiety about your child heading back to school in the fall. Dale and I are on the same page, of course. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Dale!

[Music]

00:14:02

Dale:  This is Dale Troy. I’m a college success coach and the founder of Crush College Stress. My tip today is for your college students who are at home, worrying about what college is going to be like in the fall. Some colleges have announced that they plan to reopen. Others have announced that they’ll continue with online classes, but many colleges haven’t even communicated their plan yet. It’s no surprise then, that your college students are feeling anxious, disappointed and even angry.

00:14:36

How can you help your college students? First give them some perspective. It’s always better to focus on what you can control, rather than on what you have no control over. Since reopening, continuing with online classes, or something in between, is the college’s decision, your college student shouldn’t be spending hours complaining or trying to figure out what will happen. It’s much better to be patient, be flexible, and be resilient.

00:15:05

Second, your college student should start thinking about what their goals are for the fall. If they’re going to attend college, they need to have the right attitude. The format may not be perfect. It may not be what they expected, but they can still get a lot out of the semester. The first step is knowing what they want to accomplish, what they want to learn, and what they want to experience. If they don’t have any goals, they won’t be able to take full advantage of what their college does offer.

00:15:33

Third, your college student should practice reducing their stress on a daily basis. There are many simple ways they can feel more calm and more in control. Here are some suggestions: practice guided meditation, using an app on their phone; write in a gratitude journal, three things they are grateful for each day; take a walk in nature, or listen to calming music with their eyes closed. If your college student implements all three strategies, I’m sure they will feel a whole lot better about their situation.

[Music] 

00:16:08

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Don’t you dare let the world allow you to forget that you are amazing!  See ya!

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[Still Listening?]

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