Category: parenting advice

Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #91  of my podcast. 

[Music: Intro]

I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:46

If this is your first time listening, I invite you to check out my Friday episodes, as well, where I provide bite-sized coaching assistance to guide you along your empty nest transition years – this is an amazing time of our lives but it is easy to forget that through the bumps in the road in our journey. And, wow, 2020 has certainly provided some bumps in our journey, hasn’t it? Be sure to check out my twelve episode Not-So-Empty-Nest series that I produced for you when my social (or physical distancing) began. That series created the hiatus that I had for these Quick Tips episodes – but we are back! I hope you and your family are healthy and safe, and that yes, even now, in a world of restrictions, that you discover how amazing you are and find excitement at a level you didn’t know is possible for your years ahead. 

01:38

A reminder that a list of all of the Quick Tips Team members and their contact information may be found on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com – look for the Quick Tips Team button on the home page. 

If you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast. Happy recording, friend!

02:01

But, Christine, where are the show notes? Well, that might help you, huh? You’ll find those in the description of this episode – on Apple Podcasts click, “Details”; on Spotify, Click “See More,”: on Overcast press the I for information – button – Get the idea? 

Or of course, visit my website for full show notes with links to everything we discuss in this episode and a full episode transcript – those reside at your empty nest coach dot com forward slash p for podcast and 91 (for this episode’s number). I can’t wait to hear from you.

[Music: Sponsor Music]

02:33

Thanks! Thank you. It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest, our GPS Life Principles document – you will also have the opportunity to learn about our community See the link in this episode’s show notes, or fly on over to my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com and click the GPS Support Flock button to get started. See you there! 

03:19

I decided to fill this episode with college-student specific tips, as they (mostly) are good to go. These tips were all submitted to me before we experienced pandemic restrictions, so understand that a few words or sentences may be from that lense – but the content is still fantastic because, well, these are some amazing women that I have on my team. 

You’ve met all of my guests before, in prior quick tips team episodes, so I am going to jump right in.

03:45

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Monica:

Hi, It’s your resident scholarship mom, Monica Matthews. To continue the S-M-A-R-T method of applying for scholarships from my last tip, today, let’s look at the M – Market Yourself. Just a reminder, the S from my last tip was, “share personal details.” 

The competition for scholarships is fierce, but what many people don’t realize is that most students who apply think that they just need to fill out an application, write a quick essay, and submit their work by the required deadline. DONE, right?

Unfortunately, applying for scholarships in this day and age is not that simple.

To become a scholarship winner, students need to market themselves wisely in order for their applications to stand out and get noticed by the judges. 

To do this, they need to focus on these tactics:

– First, they need to align their writing with the background of the organization offering the scholarship money. For example, the essay for a volunteering scholarship should be written about the student’s community service experiences.

– For a no-essay scholarship or a very short form to fill in with personal details, students need to include a link to a personal website showcasing the student’s accomplishments

– For a mailed-in scholarship packet, all information should be sent in the requested order, including a cover-sheet and scholarship resume (if additional information is allowed). All of the materials need to be mailed mail in an oversized envelope with the correct postage.

– For each application, every effort should be made to go over and above to make the best possible impression on the judges.

– Is there a blank box for extra information? Or the question, “Is there anything else you would like the scholarship judging committee to know? 

– Students should always take advantage of opportunities like this to share details that are not found anywhere else on the form.

– One last tip, scholarship applications should always be typed into, never handwritten. If the student only has a hard copy of the application, a Google search for the company offering the scholarship will usually result in the scholarship page on their website. From here, the application can be downloaded, typed into, and printed out. 

These are a few of the ways for students to market themselves and allow the judges to clearly see that they are the very best candidate for the scholarship money that is being offered. 

I’m here to help you. Don’t miss my next tip for A – Answer the Essay Question, to become a college scholarship winner by applying S-M-A-R-T! Thanks for listening, and have a beautiful day.

06:11

[Music: Guest Intro] 

Anne: Hi, it’s Anne from Parents’ Guide to the College Puzzle.

My Quick Tip for today is if your high school senior has been rejected by every

college, quickly create a Plan B so that there can be college in your student’s future,

possibly even this fall.

I can assure you that yours is not the first teen this has happened to. With that in

mind, don’t waste time lamenting the situation or passing blame. Instead, lift up

your teen’s bruised self-esteem, that means both of you must be proactive.

Start by meeting with your student and their guidance counselor to devise Plan B.

She’s been through this before and will have some advice and info on options. These

should include the following:

– Writing to each school where your senior’s been wait listed to say they’re still very interested in attending and highlighting any recent accomplishments that weren’t included on their application.

– Visit the CommonApp and College Board sites to begin another college search for schools with rolling admissions and late application deadlines.

– The first week of May, the National Association for College Admission Counseling will post a searchable list of colleges that still have openings. Visit their site, nacacnet.org, to view the list with your teen.

– Research the transfer process for any schools where your teen was rejected but would still like to attend. In the meantime, they can enroll in community college for the fall semester to earn credits toward their general education requirements.

And remember, enjoy your senior’s graduation, because that is worth celebrating.

Good luck!

[Music: Guest Exit]

07:40

Christine: These are all great tips from Anne. Even with an online high school graduation ceremony – or none at all – your child is still graduating from high school and that is worth celebrating! I know that some colleges have extended their decision day due to the pandemic, and some colleges have re-opened their applications, so be sure to check out new opportunities that your child may not have considered before. Thanks, Anne for sharing these great tips, you’ll notice a similar theme in our next tip from Carolyn. 

08:10

[Music: Guest Intro]

Carolyn: Hi! I’m Carolyn Caplan, also known as Admissions Mom, and I’m an independent college consultant. My quick tips today are  about the Waitlist Love Letter.

As we all know, sometimes admissions decisions don’t go our way. And it’s possible your child will be placed on a waitlist — leaving your child — and you — in a kind of Waitlist Limbo. 

Here’s what you need to do: 

First, Mentally Move on.

Encourage your child to fall in love (or strong like) with at least one of their acceptances. Go visit that college where they’ve been accepted already if you can and accept a place in their class. 

Then, if they want to remain on the other waitlist, they need to carefully read the waitlist letter from that college, and see if they are open to a LOCI, a letter of continued interest. If they are, and your child wants that spot, this LOCI is their chance, so encourage your child to write the love letter of their lives. This is where they lay it all on the line and bare their souls. 

I call it the Waitlist Love Letter of Continued Interest, and in it, your child should be polite and friendly, and they need to thank the admissions team for the continued opportunity to be considered. There shouldn’t be any complaining or whining about being waitlisted and definitely do not ask why you weren’t admitted.

I recommend keeping that Wait List LOCI short. No more than a page or so.

Include any updates. They can bullet point these for brevity and clarity. If they’ve improved their test scores or grades, be sure that’s mentioned!  If they’ve won awards or competitions, tell them. But updates can be more personal, too; maybe they reached a personal goal of walking 3200 miles or benching 200 pounds or writing a poem a day for six months or beating the bracket in March Madness. Whatever updates are important to your child can be shared.. 

And — if your child will definitely attend if they’re admitted, they should say so.

After the letter is written, send it, and be like Elsa, and let it go. Life’s too short to wait around on college acceptances.

[Music: Guest Exit]

Christine:  I love this so much. Thank you, Carolyn! I think it is fair to mention that if the 2020 pandemic has put you in a situation and you’ve needed to rise to that challenge in a way that is impressive, it is a fair time to mention it. What do you think?  

Since I was delayed on these Quick tips episodes, I thought I would add another one of Monica’s fantastic scholarship tips in here. Here you go: 

10:37

[Music: Guest Intro]

Monica:  Hi, It’s your resident scholarship mom, Monica Matthews. To continue the S-M-A-R-T method of applying for scholarships from my last tip, today, let’s look at the A– Answer the Essay Question.

Just a reminder, the S was Share Personal Details, and the M was Market Yourself. 

The essay is the heart of the scholarship application, so students need to make sure they completely answer the question or prompt provided. This may seem like a no-brainer, but scholarship judges swear that many students tend to ramble in their essay answers, leaving the original question partially unanswered.

Also, some essay questions contain more than one part and students may think they fully answered the question but have not. A great trick for checking essay answer completeness is for students to ask an educated and trusted adult to read their essay not knowing the question and see if they can guess what it is. If the reader is unsure or wrong, the student can work on rewriting or clarifying their answer. If the reader knows exactly what the question was, the student knows they have fully answered the question.

Students can (and should) think about the following questions to make sure they’ve done their very best to write a great scholarship essay to increase their chances of winning money for school.

– Have I completely answered the question or questions asked?

– Does my essay begin with a hook, which is content that immediately draws in the reader?

– Do I write from the heart, sharing true, detailed, and relevant information?

– Have I identified the theme of the essay and addressed it in my writing?

– Did I research the background of the organization and become familiar with its mission?

– Have I had at least two pairs of trusted eyes read and review my essay?

– Has my essay been proofread for grammar, punctuation and typos?

– Does my essay follow word count or other format guidelines outlined in the scholarship requirements?

– When reading my essay, do my words evoke positive reactions such as laughter, smiling or spontaneous comments like, “Wow!”

All of these suggestions make a huge difference when it comes to essay content and completeness. Don’t miss my next tip for R – Review Guidelines, to become a college scholarship winner by applying SMART. Thanks for listening and have a fantastic day. 

12:55

[Music: Guest Exit]

Christine: 

Seriously, every time I hear Monica’s tips, I have this thought that I wish I had found her four or more years ago! Be sure to start getting her tips in front of your child early. 

Next up is Katy Oliveira, Katy and I co-produced an episode in my Not-So-Empty-Nest series and I thought I’d share a snippet from that episode, as we recorded it just as colleges were beginning to close their campuses.

[Music: Guest Intro]

Katy: Mostly this is a conversation on helping both students and their families problem-solve through maybe some expected (an unexpected) challenges that are going to come with us all working and co-existing in our homes for an extended period of time.

Christine: Yes, this is no winter break. [giggles] 

Katy: Right.

Christine: Katy and I were talking earlier, and one of the things, I think [that] happens naturally is any time your child is home – and students when you come home – is that you automatically fall into these roles where Mom takes care of you; Dad does your laundry; or you expect things to get cleaned up because you know, it is a week, and parents miss you and that’s what we do. It’s okay, but this is a new thing. This is an extended period of time, and this is a time for everyone to fall into – it’s an opportunity to really find yourself as a parent, and a child, and to fall into your new roles. I’m looking at it as an adventure in my house. [giggles]

Katy: Yeah, you know it’s interesting. One of the things when I’m talking to parents – especially of high school seniors – about their student going off to college, I like to tell them that the senior that is leaving your house, that teenager you feel nervous about, is going to come back to your house in one year [as] a totally different person. They are going to be much, much more adult, but they’re still developing and growing into their full self. But we become adults really quickly, and I think, sometimes, the transition from having a parent-child relationship to having an adult-child relationship can be sort of tumultuous and rocky in the early twenties.And, this is one of those times where we might expedite that transition.

Christine: Right.

Katy: And so, I think, acknowledging that the dynamic is a little bit different is really important. 

15:09

[Music: Guest Exit]

Christine: 

I always enjoy chatting with Katy and this episode felt needed on soooo many levels, the full episode is episode #75 – if you would like to check that out. 

And from me, today, I have two tips for you.  

If your child is in the midst of college searching right now, I would invite you and your child to take a good look at how the college’s on their short list are handling the changes that are happening now. It is a great time to check out their social media accounts – did they pivot quickly to offer online virtual tours and information sessions – all of these things should now be included when evaluating fit. 

And secondly,  I want to remind you to give yourself grace and patience on this journey called life. Give your clients, the companies and colleges that you have in your life some grace, too.As I record this, we are in the midst of physical distancing restrictions and well, life looks a lot different than it did two months ago.  No one expected to be where we are right now.  With our college students back home, jobs that have gone remote or disappeared for us and family members, for mourning small things that you may have not appreciated at the turn of this decade – gift yourself, and your household members with patience and grace. With this much upheaval in routines, upheaval in emotions is to be expected. For extra support take a listen to my not-so-empty nest series or join me on a free support call – available a few times each week. 

16:50

[Music: Back to Christine]

Those are our tips for today. I am thrilled you listened!. If you enjoyed this episode, and want the next quick tips episode to make its way to you in your favorite app, take a moment – right now – to subscribe to this podcast – it’s free, after all!

Next time you need a break from your household members, put some headphones on and take a listen – I have over 80 other episodes waiting for you. Oh, and podcasts are a great way to make cleaning the bathroom a little bit more fun. 

[giggle]

My episode this Friday continues to explore your life’s toolbox. Advanced in concept, so you may need to review a few other episodes before then, but taking inventory of your life’s toolbox is an incredible skill to incorporate into your life.  For this episode, don’t forget that I have contact information for all Quick Tips Team members on my website! Be sure to click through, follow your favorites on their website and let them know you found them through this podcast!

[GPS Exec Thank you music]

17:45

Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to every member of my GPS Support Flock. I invite you to fly on over to my website or see my show notes for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Support Flock member where you will gain access to all of my programs, monthly workshops, group coaching, and more. See you there!

If you are still listening – thanks. Should you be a  regular subscriber to this podcast, can you take a moment and leave a five-star rating and review? That would be lovely!

Of course, my amazing empty nest friend (or not so empty nest friend), always  remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[Music: Outro – fade out]

18:30

Bloopers

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