116: Laughing At Yourself – Are you a tissue box or a tissue 😂

116: Laughing At Yourself - Are you a tissue box or a tissue 😂

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

In this episode, I spill the beans on an embarrassing moment in my middle school years. I had not planned to dive into that story, but ideas and concepts sometimes appear, and I go with the flow.

Goodness gracious, there is so much power in laughing at yourself. 

This episode topic originated from an Instagram Reel where I poked fun at "life coaches" (mostly myself) and our my abundant use of analogies. 

And when I say extreme use - a few of you thought I was serious with my Reel - which made me laugh at myself more. 😂 Thank you for that.

Consider for a moment what life would be like if you laughed at yourself a bit more: not in a cruel way but a, "Well, I see the silliness in that, and I don't take myself too seriously," kind of way.

In the end, it may alleviate the pain a bit when another human laughs because you've already released the power the situation could have held on your life. 

Cheers and Giggles!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"What if your protector could slide on a pair of sunglasses that had a funny filter. Would anything change for you?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙The episode in which I share about making fun of myself, share an embarrassing story from middle school, and consider how powerful humor can be. 💚 #findthefunny in your life.   #EmptyNest  #Podcast #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestSyndrome 

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • What Happened When I Recently Poked Fun at Myself
  • An Embarrassing Story from My Middle School Years
  • To Consider Giving Your Protector a Pair of Glasses That Have a Humor Filter

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How serious do you take yourself?
  2. Does the tissue box analogy need to die?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 116 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, it’s Coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and this is episode number 116.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my future empty nest friend and Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO, of your life!  Are you feeling CEO-like, yet? I sure hope so.  Show notes for this episode have links to anything I discuss in this episode that is linkable, and of course, you’ll find all sorts of fun stuff, and ways to work with me on my website.  That’s YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Of course, I think you are amazing, and I’d love for you to subscribe to this podcast, or better yet join my flock. What is that?  I’m so glad you asked.  Take a listen.

00:01:22

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:06

If you aren't yet following me on Instagram, what are you doing with your life?  Seriously, though, I've re-discovered that I have a tendency to be funny there, specifically in Reels, sometimes I do it on purpose and sometimes, not so much.  But it’s okay.  I will laugh at myself and you know I love to giggle.  I’ve noticed about myself that the more in tune I am with the weight of my actions, or the happenings of my life, in relation to the longevity of my life, well, things simply don’t have the level of gravity that I used to once give them.  I mean, a typo on a post?  I used to lose sleep over it, now I let it go, and some I’ve let stay up on socials.  What?  The me of five years ago would have a freak out session over that.

00:02:57

I’ve found the more clear my mind is, the more I have trained my Protector and organized my thought deliveries, the more I am able to find humor in life.  And, I’ve shared with you in a prior episode how powerful laughter can be for us as humans.  There is a power in not taking yourself seriously.  There is power in knowing that, yeah, you are fallible.  Of course you are, you are human.  And what if you laugh at yourself before the world does?  Power.  Power, my friend.

00:03:28

So what is the tissue box all about?  In one of my Instagram Reel videos I decided to poke fun at life coaches.  Yes, I’m a life coach.  Yes, I use a lot of analogies and in the challenge I was in we were challenged to make fun of our industry (tastefully).  I landed with, well, let me play the audio for you:

The things you think about are when you start small, ants can find you.  You’re either the tissue box, or the tissue.

I’m back, and wouldn’t you know it, someone heard this and went looking for my episode about the tissue box.  I had to explain that I was poking fun at myself but maybe it was a little too close to reality if that happened.  In the end, I promised I would deliver this episode about it.  Maybe this analogy should be a group project, after all? 

00:04:20

But my real question is, do you take yourself seriously?  Too seriously?  I’m not talking about standing up for your rights, that’s a given.  Please, my friend, do that.  Stand up for yourself.  I’m talking about the other things, the analogies you use constantly (like me); the odd food choices you may have; the obsessions you have that aren’t hurting anyone, those things.  Or maybe the fact that sure, you are in your late forties and love to dress up for halloween.  No, that one’s not actually me.  Is it you?  I challenge you to stop for a moment right now and think of something today that you did that was funny.  Can you find something?

00:04:57

I’m not even talking side-splitting funny, although that’s good too, but maybe slightly amusing if someone else did it, or that you laughed out loud at yourself when it happened.  Or that you thought was very serious, but looking at it through a different lens, you’re like, that’s kind of funny.  Did you find anything?  Go ahead and hit pause, if you need to.

00:05:16

All right.  You’re back.  I did some very scientific research for this episode.  Yes, you know, Google.  And in the rabbit hole of the google search, I did find a lovely TedX Cape May video featuring Brad Jenkins and it was about, you guessed it, laughing at yourself.  Definitely worth a watch.  A few articles also discussed the power of not taking yourself so seriously.  When I did another highly scientific search on Google, using “making fun of yourself,” I found that in the top three results, number two was titled: “How Making Fun of Yourself Can Make You Happy,” and number three was, “It’s Not Okay to Make Fun of Yourself.”  Goodness gracious, and do we wonder why humans are completely confused all of the time? 

00:06:05

It did make me wonder about the difference, though.  What would make it good versus bad?  This is my Coach Christine theory and I would love to know what you think about it.  My theory is that it comes down to how well your Protector is trained and what type of energy you have in your life.  I’m going to share with you now one of the most embarrassing things I remember from my middle school years. At almost-50 years old, I can finally think of this day and see past the humiliation and into the humor. 

True story, although I may be off on details, because I’m the type of person that remembers feelings, big concepts more than specific details.  

00:06:43

I remember that my schedule was very off that year, and I think it was because I took a lot of shop classes, but I had lunch at different times almost every day of the week.  And this one time was not with my larger group of friends.  I have no idea if I normally sat all by myself that day, or if I was waiting for those who normally sat with me.  I got through the line, placed my food down, and I remember clearly that I had parachute pants on. Ahhh, remember those?  Something felt off.  The energy felt weird.  I could hear more whispers than normal but I stayed in my own world and was about to eat my food. 

00:07:21

Then, someone came up to me and said, “Your period is through your pants, maybe you should use a tampon.”   Were those her exact words?  Honestly, I have no idea, and it probably wasn’t as brutal as what I made it sound like.  All I remember is “period through pants” and I remember “tampon”.  Everything then went into slow motion.  I think she tried helping me, and asked if I had a sweater, but my guess is I left my food there and disappeared quickly.  In my head every single person in the school saw it and I would be forever known as “period pants girl.”

00:07:54

I remember getting to the nurse’s office, our school was pretty big, so the navigation wouldn’t have been quick.  I refused to leave the nurse’s office, and had the nurse call my mom.  My mother was not home.  One of my mother’s friends was. She picked me up and drove me home and I thought I would never enter the school building again, ever.  Tears?  Yes.  This day haunted me periodically (pun wasn’t initially intended but I decided to keep it in), for years and years.  And this isn’t an uncommon experience, I mean, google period leak and you’ll get quite the stories.  Perimenopause is like puberty all over again and in some ways, I kind of feel like this could happen again.  So yeah, round and round we go. 

00:08:40

Back to middle school.  I swore that day I would be known as “period pants girl” forever.  Forever.  Well, maybe I am known for that still, or will be now, now that I shared it here.  But now, now I am “period pants girl with a podcast.”  Oh my gosh, so funny.  Now that I’m on embarrassing stories, I’ll just open the flood gates.  I actually think I also had a really late aged wet bed thing at a sleepover, too.   Okay.  Shall we relive all of my embarrassments from childhood and puberty, today?  Wouldn’t that be fun? 

00:09:22

Anyway, my message is don’t take yourself so seriously.  I mean, let’s imagine for a moment that we could go back in time, not that I’d want to, but instead of me being mortified for weeks on end, I’m sure it lasted at least that long, what if I was like, yeah, that’s me, I owned it, and then I created something that would help other girls in situations like that?  What if I actually could have risen above the embarrassment enough to realize that the young lady who told me about it was my hero that day?  In the moment I saw her as someone who took pleasure in telling me that I was a hot mess.  But in reality, no one else said anything.  She did.  She was amazing. 

00:10:04

Had I not taken myself so seriously, I could have thanked her properly.  I also probably could have laughed.  I remember people trying to “comfort” me, the adults in my life, I don’t think I laughed though.  I mean, “period pants girl with a podcast,” that is funny.  I could do a whole series about that.  “Period parachute pants girl” is funny, too.  Sure, it was embarrassing.  I probably missed more than a few great moments being stuck in my obscured thought-deliveries about being “period pants girl.”  I hear you thinking, “But, Christine, you were a teenager.  That is what teenagers do.  They think their whole world is so serious, and one thing like that will ruin it forever.”  Back then, yeah, I was an awkward kid trying to figure out well, anything and everything.

00:10:50

But here’s today’s challenge: I challenge you to consider that you are a different awkward human trying to figure out anything and everything.  You’re in a different stage of life.  I bet there are things in your life right now, that you take just as seriously that you of 20 years from now, future you, would be like, “Oh my gosh, chill out.  It doesn’t matter.”  Think about it.  And when you can tune into that, now, life gets funny.  It gets funny now, instead of 20 years from now. Look at the truth about you, about your life, look at it in perspective of your entire life and stop taking yourself so darn serious, friend.

00:11:32

Laughter is a reset.  Imagine being able to have more of it in your life by simply observing the humor in yourself.  Put those happenings of your life in perspective.  The truth, after all, can be funny.  What if your Protector could slide on a pair of sunglasses that had a funny filter?  You know, like Instagram or SnapChat, just swipe.  That would be even cooler.  Would anything in your life change for you?  It doesn’t mean that you laugh at everything.  Remember, a well trained protector allows you to be truly conscious in your life, to be off of auto-pilot and to respond in a way that you are proud of, and that brings peace to your life and to the lives of others, to bring positive energy.  Let’s be real. You’re going to mess up in life.  I am going to mess up in life.  I’ll tell you that right now.  It’s what humanity is all about.

00:12:22

What if we start looking for those moments not only to learn from but also to entertain ourselves?  What is my point?  Hmm... and with my humor filter on, I’m wondering if I have one.  After all, I’m not sure if you are a tissue box or the tissue.  Maybe the tissue box is you stuffed all inside taking yourself way too seriously.  It isn’t until you find the humor in your life that you are able to begin to serve others (maybe then you become a tissue that can help).  Although, then you get thrown in the trash, so I’m not sure that’s a great analogy on any level.  But, hey, if you have an idea for it, please share it with us!

00:13:03

Let me leave you with this, you and I have been on this planet for more than a few years.  There is a high probability that all of us have been embarrassed, done dreadful things, been awful to others, been inconsiderate, been unempathetic, been dismissive, and well, the list goes on.  I would hope that you are now quite leveled-up from the you of your younger years, heck even the you of last year or last month.  Hopefully, not only we are doing our best to become better humans but we also are able to view experiences, past, present and future, in a new light.  Maybe we can start sending thought deliveries back to our Protector and ask them to put on the funny filter, or put on different types of glasses.  Maybe we need clip-on glasses for different lens types.  Ooo, more analogies, and now, we’re back to the beginning.  Around we go.

00:14:00

Okay.  If you’ve listened to more than a handful of my episodes, you must not mind analogies either.  I’m thankful for you.  I’m thankful for that kind soul who pointed out my period stained parachute pants, I’m thankful for the moments in my life that entertain me, like today when I went to put the eggs in a cabinet and not the fridge, and for me,today also, typing the words “period pants girl with a podcast.”  See, life is funny. By the way, you really should join our flock.  We’re waiting for you!  Let’s find the funny in our lives together, friend. 

[Music]

00:14:33

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how serious do you take yourself?  And two, should we just let this tissue box analogy go now?  Have a beautiful day friend.  You are amazing!

[Bloopers]

00:15:25

Still listening? 

What are you listening to next? I’m so curious!

[Music]

[End]

115: How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last? ⏱

115: How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last? ⏱

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Have you ever wondered how long you will be experiencing empty nest syndrome? 

You aren't alone! It is a commonly searched phrase on the internet.

I did a light bit of research for this episode,  and share my thoughts on the time frame I found listed high in my search results.

I'd love to know your thoughts.

This transition is one that can be as beautiful or heart-wrenching as you allow it to be. If you enjoy this episode or are curious about more, subscribe to my podcast, and let's get you in a place that serves you, your future-self, and others in your life well!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Apparently, this question is googled often, “how long does it take to get over empty nest syndrome.' I can understand that. Especially when a mother is first experiencing some of those overwhelming bittersweet feelings that could feel soul-crushing if you can’t find a way to the other side of them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 How long will empty nest syndrome last? This is a commonly searched phrase! I discuss what I found in the search in today's episode.  #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Others #EmptyNestSyndrome 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • What I Found When Searching How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last
  • My Thoughts About One of the Top Search Results
  • An Analogy About the Transition

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you continually in a race to your life’s next milestone?
  2. Are you ready to slow down, dig deep, and to be ready for anything?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 115 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I answer the question: how long does empty nest syndrome last?  And this is episode number 115.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

[Clock ticking]

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life.  CEO around here is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of your life.  The question for today is how long does empty nest syndrome last?  Yes, I know the clock is ticking but first, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 115 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P115).

00:01:25

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:08

I want to give a shout out to Laurey Bennett Levy.  Laurey is an artist, designer and advocate who I met through instagram.  We have been cheering one another on and recently she reached out in a message with incredibly encouraging words to me.  So a personal thank you, Laurey, for that, and my wonderful listener, if you aren’t following her already, you should.  Her prints are beautiful and inspired off of designs she discovers in life and that others may honestly, easily overlook.  I won’t do it justice.  Check my show notes, click the link and give her a follow.

00:02:48

Apparently this question is googled often, “how long does it take to get over empty nest syndrome?”  I can understand that.  Especially when a mother is first experiencing some of those overwhelming bittersweet feelings that could feel soul-crushing if you can’t find a way to the other side of them.  Curious, I figured I would see what comes up in such a search, and the most helpful item I found was a 2016 article on “HuffPost” where they reference a “fun study” by Peregrine Adventures.

00:03:22

I am a bit of a data person, so I’m now even more curious.  The article stated that 2,000 empty nesters participated in the survey.  I wanted to know who these 2,000 empty nesters were, and to be honest, 2,000 isn’t a huge data set so I went a little deeper.  I did find where Peregrine Adventures discusses the survey (link is in my show notes) and it states that they surveyed 2,000 US parents and guardians of high-school and college-aged kids.  So, some of these parents weren’t even in the empty nest yet, if their children are in high school.  Leaving us where this “fun study” sounds a bit more like a “survey for our travel company,” but I’ll bite, what did they find?  They found in their question-asking that those who completed the questions came up with the answer that precisely three months and 14 days, on average, is how long it takes to get over empty nest syndrome.

00:04:21

Well, that is highly specific isn’t it?  So the great news is by your child’s winter break, if they are in college, you’ll be good to go.  And if you are in the demographic to take an exotic vacation, well, that is the perfect answer to fill your time.  Okay, okay, maybe I’m making fun of this a bit.  Yes, I am.  But I do find it amusing that I recommend participating in my GPS Support Flock Membership for a minimum of three months, as it is a great grounding start for you to move forward, so I could tell you hey, look at that, I know what I’m talking about because it lines up with this “fun study.”  Does anybody really know how long it is going to take you to adjust to the empty nest?  Nah, that is for you to figure out.  I do think three months is a nice benchmark, but if it takes you three weeks, or nine months, you are all good.  You are on your timetable.

00:05:21

The more important question is what will you do as you adjust to the empty nest?  Will you keep yourself busy doing things until you have found new things to busy yourself with, or will you use the time to spend with yourself, working on discovering who you are, learning to trust yourself as much as or maybe even more than the outside world?  Do you want to stay busy and just get through this, or do you want to dig in, do some work and have the tools to be empowered and effective in every area of your life going forward?

00:05:58 

I can’t answer that for you, but I’m here if you decide to do the work.  Our GPS support flock is designed to navigate you through the transition in a way that levels you up for your next adventure in life, no matter what that is.  It’s analogy time.  You know how I love analogies.  I’m sitting outside on my deck as I assemble this episode.  I am staring at trees and the green leaves as they dance to the music the wind delivers.  Where I’m sitting also delivered this analogy, which I now share with you.

00:06:31

Imagine that you, before-the-empty-nest transition, are in a field.  You, after-the-empty-nest transition, are in another field.  Between the two fields is a fairly deep line of trees, that you only can navigate through on a forest path.  Can you see this?  Imagine you are in the Before-field, and you’re in a race to get to the After-field.  It is as if the moment you feel a bit of emotion about the empty nest that a timer goes off and you jump into a race to power through the forest path as fast as possible.  You run, maybe trip a few times, but you get up quickly and get to the other side.  In your mind, you have made it. 

00:07:14

Now imagine that the forest path is a bit of a training ground. It has lessons within it, knowledge, experience, observations about yourself that you need to know to function better in the After-field.  You missed a lot of that by ploughing through as fast as possible.  So, in another scenario, you know the After-field is ahead, but you take your time through the forest path.  You learn things about yourself; things like when it gets dark in the forest, your eyes adjust and you can trust your other senses; you discover markers along the path that guide you through the clearing; you stop completely a few times to consider the knowledge you’ve gained and how you may apply it on the next segment of your journey.  The length of your journey has also increased your stamina.  Eventually you arrive at the After-field.  Which method is more successful?

00:08:09

What if I tell you now that you’ll have future circumstances in your life that are similar to the empty nest.  The empty nest is a transition, after all.  We have transitions in our life all of the time, jobs, family members, moves, health status, and more.  So imagine that after getting comfortable in the After-field, your next life’s transition is at night through the forest path back to the Before-field.  The transition is the forest path.  The version of you who ran through the path as fast as possible in daylight is at a disadvantage compared to the version of you who learned the path well, learned where to stop, where to start, where to allow her eyes to adjust and so on.  So, I ask you again, which one is more successful?  Fun to think about it, isn’t it? 

00:09:05

My husband and I recently watched “The World’s Toughest Race.” What I found fascinating is that the leading teams had much less time to enjoy the beauty of Fiji than the teams that were a bit further back.  While yes, the teams who took days and days longer had their own set of disadvantages, it was only because the race had a timer, and would force them to ignore their own health, things like sleeping, first aid and eating well, you know, that kind of thing.  But if you took the timer off, and they could go at their own pace?  Can you imagine?

00:09:39

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend three weeks slowly covering Fiji and having the time to take in all that it has to offer, especially after seeing the landscapes there, than to speed through and see it all as a blur in my mind.  Much of this comes down ultimately to being present in any given moment.  It slows everything down, allows drama to disappear and presents new opportunities to you in life because your mind is now clearer than it was before.

00:10:13

I didn’t forget. That original question: how long does empty nest syndrome last?  I can’t tell you.  Looking back, sure, three months sounds as good as anything, but I’d use it as a mile marker more than a stopwatch.  Go at your own pace, my beautiful friend, and learn lessons you may apply to the rest of your life’s adventure.  Future you is cheering you on, and I’m cheering you on.  As always, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, need some cheering on, and want three months and 14 days of empty nest incredible resources, okay, I jest on the time.  But really, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock.  We are waiting for you!

[Music]

00:11:04

The questions I have for you in this episode are one, are you continually in a race to your next life’s next milestone?  And two, are you ready to slow down, dig deep and to be ready for anything?  My beautiful empty nest friend, I hope you are discovering how to become the CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life. Of course, remember you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:12:14

Still listening? 

It sounds like I’m making big promises about the flock, huh?  Maybe I am.  All I can tell you is that the work I’ve done in my empty nest transition has served me well in my daily comings and goings, in my relationship with my husband, my daughter, in setting boundaries with others, and in truly trusting myself.  I can’t imagine living any other way now.  It feels like a superpower and I truly want everyone to feel this way. 

[Music]

[End]

114: I’m Calm. Why are people telling me I’m not? 🤔

114: I'm Calm. Why are people telling me I'm not? 🤔

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Have you experienced being peaceful and then having someone ask you, "what is wrong?" or said, "what is wrong with you; why are you upset?"  

It seems bizarre. But if your behavior is different from what others are used to, they are interpreting your change as not calm, while all the while, you are feeling an inner stillness. 

Let's let them be them, while you remain your new, peaceful self. Well, we can try. 🤣 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I’m incredibly proud of you. You are doing the work, my friend. You may be discovering peace in your life that you hadn’t known before. It is amazing, isn’t it?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Let's keep your internal waters (peace) still, friend. Even when others say you aren't calm. What??? Coach Christine discusses this topic in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Others #Relationships 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy For Keeping Your Inner Stillness

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you experienced calm waters inside of you while others perceive you as the opposite?
  2. Are you able to find peace often in your life?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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Subscribe To This Podcast

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 114 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss I Feel Calm, Why Are Others Thinking I’m Not and it’s episode number 114.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:52

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life.  And CEO around here, that is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of Your Life.  We are going to talk about peaceful, calm waters within you, today.  If you need to use the bathroom, go for it before I throw some water sounds in your ears.  Of course, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 114 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P114).

00:01:29

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:02:18 

I’m incredibly proud of you.  You are doing the work, my friend.  

You may be discovering peace in your life that you hadn’t known before.  It is amazing, isn’t it?  That peace inside of you may feel like calm, still waters.  Imagine floating peacefully in the manner that makes you happiest, in a boat, lying on the water, or in a pontoon, surrounded by calm water.  I’m going to imagine a clear lake.  Remember that not too long ago, your water was fairly hectic, and a bit rough.  But you have done the work to calm the waters in your mind. 

00:02:57

The problem is those around you aren’t used to calm waters from you, they are used to quite the opposite, so by you being calm, they see water that they are not used to navigating, even if that is calm.  It would mean that, if they are in their own boat, they may over paddle towards you, if say they are in a row boat.  Can you see this?  Imagine for a moment you are floating and you have the power to control the stillness, or lack thereof, of the water surrounding you.  In prior days you created ripples and sometimes waves, and navigating needed to be intense.  But as you calm yourself down, the waters around you smooth out and those navigating toward you, or around you, and I don’t mean that in an avoid-you type of way, they don’t adjust their navigation plan, so they don’t do well at all.  It’s that calm-before-the-storm type of feeling, “Wait.  Wait.  What happened?”  The mere act of becoming calm and peaceful has set off warning signals to them because everything they have known about you is different.  Sure you might be peaceful inside but what you are showing to the world may be so different that the world isn’t sure how to react to it.  They know something is different about you but they aren’t sure what it is.

00:04:15  

Let me be very clear here.  This does not mean that you now adjust who you are to allow others to become comfortable.  If your peace is found by discovering who you are underneath all of your roles and duties, if your peace is coming from honoring who you are, it isn’t your job to help others navigate around you.  You are you.  Their discomfort isn’t something you can change for them anyway.  What you can do is channel a bit more of your inner peace, rather than the rough waves coming at you.  Remind them you are peaceful, but it may take them time to understand. 

00:04:49 

Now let’s sync this up with our Protector and fence analogy.  This isn’t unlike the analogy I used in episode number 86, When Others Toss Things Over Your Fence.  Imagine that we are calm, floating on the water, we have buoy markers for our fence and our Protector has donned a swimsuit, sunscreen and sunglasses.  They are on a lifeguard chair floating in the water.  Imagine that when someone asks us what is wrong, when we feel perfectly fine, that it would be like a stone being thrown into the water.  [Splash sound].

00:05:19  

Now if our protector is well trained and doing their job, they’ll see the stone being thrown, and they’ve been so incredibly observant that they reach out and catch the tossed stone as it heads airborne toward us.  Wow, you’ve trained them well, give yourself a pat on the back.  Go ahead.  Now without the splash impacting your calm waters, the human who has tossed the stone toward you, know it or not, may react when the tossed stone doesn’t get the desired effect they were looking for, for you to be the you you used to be.  Say that five times fast.

00:05:53

What could the stone be?  It could be words like, “Why are you so calm?” “Why aren’t you getting upset?” “Don’t you care about this?”  “Why aren’t you reacting?”  Or it could be behaviors such as eyerolls, walking off, or a raised voice because they think you weren’t listening.  Okay, let’s be real, maybe you’ve heard this conversation before you did tune it out a bit.  It’s possible.  [Giggle].  We’re human.  In the end, we control our own reactions not theirs.  Let them be them, keep your waters still.  You’ll have a positive impact longer-term, and who knows, miracles may occur and they may join the still waters with you.  And, yes, it might take more than a few stones to reach that level.  They need time to process the change in you after all. 

00:06:37

My friend, let your peace energetically fill the space around you.  It serves you and your Protector well.  As always, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock!  We are waiting for you!  [Music]

00:06:58

The questions I have for you in this episode are, have you experienced calm waters inside of you while others perceive you as the opposite?  And two, are you able to find peace often in your life?  Check your thought-deliveries, train your Protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian, of your life and always remember my beautiful friend, that you, you, yes, you, are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:07:44

Still listening?  I am now creating EXPRESS Coaching Lessons in Instagram Reels.  Yes, within Instagram’s 15 second window.  Super fun to not only teach a quick lesson but find a visual to go along with it.  Thought-deliveries are made for this medium.  If you are on Pinterest, I share them there as well!

[Music]

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