165: Empty Nest Success – Life AUDITs, Trusting Yourself & Guest Cindy Muchnick of The Parent Compass💚

165: Empty Nest Success - Life AUDITs, Trusting Yourself & Guest Cindy Muchnick of The Parent Compass💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Do you AUDIT your life? Do you trust yourself? Do you live your life through your teen child? 

I'm super thankful for you, my amazing listener. 💚

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... how can you trust yourself if you don't know yourself?"

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00  Podcast intro
  • 00:52  Quick Reminders
  • 01:59  My Wish For You Today - Be in the Now
  • 02:42  New Things - Part 1: 2022, 2023
  • 04:31  New Things  - Part 2: A Magic Mind Update
  • 06:08  My Lessons Learned: Your Life's Traffic - Who do you trust? 
  • 09:39  Ask Coach Christine: Post-divorce, I might not want a partner again. Should I be concerned?  
  • 12:38  Christine? Where are You? I stopped by the Live Well & Fully podcast.
  • 13:34  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? AUDIT
  • 18:07  Let's Find the Funny - Taskmaster (again)
  • 18:44  What I Wish My Parents Knew - Guest Cindy Muchnick, co-author of the Parent Compass
  • 21:13  Two Questions For You
  • 22:16  Bloopers 😆
  • 22:51  Still listening?  - C.E.O. Training Team Information & Offer

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. Do you know who you are? 
  2. Do you like who you are? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college (or not college) and life.

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 165

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #165. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though; all are welcome here, as I’m focused on coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life, and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

Here we go..

[up beat music]

00:00:52

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:01:21 

Before we dive in - a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for a free account to unlock a sampling of those resources - head over to  EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. Training Team, or purchase other premium content.

Want to know more about the C.E.O. Training team? I’ll share more at the tail end of this episode. 

If you are here looking for something specific or would like to hop around within this episode, you’ll find time markers in the show notes.

00:01:59

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you are able to sit in the simmer that is your life: meaning that you are able to “Be” in the NOW, this moment right here, and the next moment, and the next moment. These moments are your life. This is what matters. Breathe in and out, take in what is, feel the emotions and get to the other side of them. What are they telling you about your thoughts, and how can you change those thoughts so that the next moment is just as good or better than your last moment? You’ve got this!

00:02:42 

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

My personal life has so many new things, I can barely keep up with myself. How are your new things going? Whether your new thing is adjusting to the idea of your child becoming an adult, or you are writing a book. Each new thing is progress in learning more about who you are. I’m so excited for you!

For me, I will be a bit quieter on social media for a few months. I was just reading a transcript of a video I made in 2021 about “The Things I Plan to do in 2022.” Oo, that’s funny. [giggles] Life had other plans for me, and that is TOTALLY okay. While this year wasn’t so much about growing my podcast and coaching business, it was VERY much about settling into my life now that the divorce has been finalized - I could list all those things but that would need 2 or 3 episodes on its own. 

Now, in November, I did my 2023 planning early and much of the next year will be about having fun preparing for 2024 and beyond. 

And I’m not kidding when I say having fun is going to be my biggest focus - even when I’m doing things I wouldn’t normally consider fun. There very well may be seasons in 2023 that feel like I’ve disappeared, or am hibernating. But don’t be fooled, I’ll be establishing strong roots (like the root system of the mighty Oak tree) - yes, there is a reason I changed my last name to include Oak in it. 

But no matter what 2024 brings for me, I’m so freaking excited to follow my joy, my bliss and to be selfishly happy in all that I do in 2023. Want to join me?   

00:04:31  

In my last episode, I mentioned that I was trying Magic Mind, a green drink shot that is designed to take with your coffee  - or if you aren’t a coffee drinker - you can use Magic Mind all on its own. More than 30 days after starting Magic Mind… what are my thoughts? 

This elixir has allowed me to decrease my coffee intake - without drama - has allowed me to be way more focused on the things that matter, and has coincided with some large decisions in my life - can I say it is all because of Magic Mind? Probably not, but I do believe that the mental clarity I’ve received from taking Magic Mind was a significant part of some of my decisions this month. That feels amazing. 

Magic Mind has become a regular part of my life and now sits in the top drawer of my C.E.O. Toolbox

Magic Mind has provided a 20% off code to share with listeners of my podcast. The code is FEELAMAZING20. To use it, visit magicmind.co slash FEELAMAZING and enter the code FEELAMAZING20 - all caps - at checkout. You’ll find this information in my show notes. 

Not quite sure about it - no worries - Magic Mind does have a money back guarantee AND if you sign up for the subscription it's 40% off right now - that’s the one I signed up for! That 40% code, though, only lasts 10 days from your first click through, so don’t miss out on it. If you do order through my link and would like to share your experience in an upcoming episode, let me know!  

00:06:08

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

Your Life’s Traffic - Who Do You Trust? 

Here I go again with the analogies, and I do love analogies. 

This one is about trusting the information you have about YOU and YOUR life. 

I used to walk early in the mornings and sometimes would cross a large road - one with four lanes. 

An advantage to crossing early in the morning was that there was no traffic. If there was any - you could see it coming easily - no running across the highway needed. Disadvantages to crossing early in the morning? Honestly, I can’t think of any, unless you hate mornings. 

The road I’m thinking of is one that if you knew the area and I told you I was randomly walking across it in the morning -  you might stop in your tracks - especially if I didn’t mention the time of day - but for some, that wouldn’t even matter. They may say: 

Wait, what do you mean? The traffic is so busy there! Why would you walk there? You walk in that area? Where are you walking to? Why wouldn’t you just drive? 

These are just some sample thoughts others could share. 

Now, who knows, really, what the road and area was like when I was there? Me and me. Maybe a random car that I waited to drive by, but usually it was just me. 

If I was then influenced by this other person’s thoughts about my walk and made changes based on it - how much sense would that make?

Do they know the situation? Did they know the weather? The planning I took? The safety measures I put in place? The nothingness of traffic? 

No, they don’t. Yet, how often in life do we allow other people’s words - their thoughts - about our happenings in life - directly influence us. 

As if they spend time in our minds and know all the things we’ve processed. 

Sometimes these people aren’t even a part of our support system - and we still allow their comments to change our course.  

While I’m not saying to ignore all the people and things out there in the world, what I am saying is keep in mind that they don’t know all the things all the time.

Support system or not, do you trust yourself as you cross the streets in your life? As you take steps moving forward in your life?

A more important question is how can you trust yourself if you don’t know yourself? For many of us, we think we are following our own inner guidance but upon deeper reflection we discover that we are really following the voices and direction of many other influences in our life.  

Your GPS of your life ultimately should be your inner guidance. YOU. You are the only person, after all, with you from the moment you are born until your last breath. Learn to love yourself, learn to be your own biggest fan, and gift yourself with discovering who you are. You are so worth it. 

Inner guidance sounds amazing doesn’t it? The honest truth is it takes patience, time, continued observation and a joyous investment in your evolution to uncover your inner guidance. If you want to know more, my earlier episodes will help you get started.

00:09:39

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, I’m going through a divorce, and I’m not sure I’ll ever want to be with another partner again. Should I be concerned?

If you do the work to heal, to discover who you are and love who you are, and come to the conclusion that you don’t want another partner. What’s the big deal? 

If you are scared that you’ll never find love again, don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way but also see that it is a thought that isn’t serving you right now. And depending on how long it has been, it may not be a great idea to jump into another relationship right away, anyway. That new relationship may end up looking just like the one you got out of because that probably feels super comfortable to you - even if it wasn’t great. 

I’m not one to judge, and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I would encourage you to take time to fall in love with you first, if you aren’t there already. If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t know who you are, how do you know who would be a good partner for you? 

What if you love yourself enough to know quickly who isn’t a fit? That would be amazing wouldn’t it? 

What if you love yourself enough to not settle because sure, it may be great to not be alone but also, being with the wrong person can be a bit of a drag. 

What if you love yourself enough to protect yourself? 

What if you went into your next relationship in a way that wasn’t looking for them to make you feel loved but enter it already loving yourself, enter it looking for someone who also gets this and doesn’t need you to perform a certain way for them to feel loved. 

What if the two of you come together - have so much fun together, and love each other for who you are and who you will be? 

Sounds amazing doesn’t it? 

I don’t know about you but I get so freakin’ inspired when I see couples like this. They give me hope. You know these couples…or maybe you don’t because, honestly, they do seem to be few and far between - but they get so excited to spend time with one another. Yet, they appreciate their differences and even celebrate them, and always celebrate each other. 

So whether you are about to enter your amazing next phase of life that won’t include a partner or will include a partner, How well do you know you? How much do you love you? Fall in lo ve with you and what is there to be concerned about. Partner or not? You’ve made it further than most people in this lifetime. And why wouldn’t you love yourself? You are amazing! 

00:12:38

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?

In my last episode, guest Barbara Decker stopped by. She has released her interview with me on her podcast: Live Well and Fully - you’ll find me on episode 5. Barbara has incredible guests on her show so take a listen to her other episodes as well!  

Something fun that happened - is that when Barbara and I met online for the interview, we discovered that we live within driving distance from one another. We met up for breakfast recently and that was so much fun! 

The amazing humans that I have been able to meet through this podcast and work has been incredible. 

Of course, I’m here, on this podcast every month, and I’m so thankful for your time listening to this podcast.

00:13:34

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments, and then also do the deeper work, as needed. The top of your toolbox should be stocked with your go-to resources for when you need assistance getting through the next moment or day type of times… the bottom of your toolbox is for resources for deeper level work - these are things that take a little more time and you wouldn’t have time to do in an emergency. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have the things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time because sometimes things that worked for you two years ago or a month ago, just won’t work any longer.

Today’s resource is A Universe Do It List, or AUDIT.

I first heard mention of this in an Abraham-Hicks video. It was shared that Esther Hicks would write down on a page a special to-do list. 

This list would be on a page turned sideways - imagine it in landscape mode- with a vertical line down the center creating two columns. At the top of the two columns the title would be on the left: To Do - Me and the title on the right would be To Do - Universe. 

For me, a lover of lists and also someone who likes to write things down, I decided to try this. 

I started this on a whim and thought I’d do it for a few days, but I’ve now been doing this for over a month and it is a bit of a game-changer - at least it’s been for me. 

So, if you’d like to give it a try, here are a few things to keep in mind, or to try:

  • For the right side column, while I use To do - Universe… that word (universe) should be replaced by whatever/whomever you find comfort in when you're alone - be it God, Spirit, Jesus or something else. This list is for you and should be a word that works for you.
  • Next, I’ve been doing these daily, so left column, for me,  are simple things I have to do that day - like a 3-6 point bullet list of things such as - make dr appointment, go to work, clean something - those types of things - usually straight-forward, things that do not need a lot of thinking or processing time but I really need to do today.
  • Then, anything else on my mind that is for future projects or plans, thoughts that take up my mental energy, those things I place on the right side. Allowing myself to let them go for now.
  • You may find that’s enough and might throw the paper away at that point.
  • What I’ve found I like to do is I take the list and fold it in half so I only see the TO DO - Me side. And on days when I can easily have that with me, I keep it with me. I use it to write notes on and cross off the things I’ve done. I decided to hold on to them for a little bit because I’ve found it incredibly fun to go back and look at things from 2-3 weeks ago that I put on that right column. Almost all of them easily resolved when the time was right - and by writing them down, I didn’t feel like I had to give them mental energy in the meantime. 
  • I shared this with my clients and they came back loving this activity - and each for different reasons. One of them asked me what I call this tool. And I hadn’t even thought of it - because I got it from someone else - but as I was assembling this episode, the word AUDIT came to mind. 

AUDIT - A- U-D-I-T stands for A Universe Do It List

I realize that won’t work for you if you use something other than Universe in that right column, but I’m going to go with AUDIT. It feels right. The reminder to audit what you actually have the ability to do in a day's time - or whatever length of time you are using for your AUDIT, that is powerful. 

While I’ve been using this daily, I initially thought it was a top of the toolbox item. What I’m finding is that the more I use it consistently its become a  bottom of the toolbox item as it allows me to consider the things that I’m meant to focus on - freeing up time for me to enjoy who I am in my day ahead. And learn a lot about myself. It’s been so much fun. 

00:18:07

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

I believe in the power of laughter for a quick reset when needed, and this is why I include this section within my monthly episodes.

I know I’ve mentioned before how much I love the show Taskmaster. Without fail, there is always a moment where I laugh out loud. Their official YouTube channel has some outtakes from seasons: super fun. I’ve linked Series 14 Outtakes - Part 2 on YouTube in the show notes. Enjoy that video or any of the content on the Taskmaster channel, if you need a laugh.

00:18:44

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My Parents Knew

Today I welcome guest Cindy Muchnick, co-author of one of my favorite books for parents of teens: The Parent Compass. It’s an amazing book. Where I encourage you to transition into becoming a coach to your children, Cindy uses the word consultant. 

Knowing that, it’s not so shocking why I love The Parent Compass so very much. I am thrilled that Cindy shared an audio with us for this podcast answering the question: What do you wish every parent knew? 

00:19:19

This is Cindy Muchnick, co author of The Parent Compass, navigating your teens wellness and academic journey in today's competitive world. Here's what I wish every parent knew:

Look at the teen or tween that you have in front of you, and appreciate them for who they are, not for the child you're trying to inauthentically create. 

What do I mean by that? 

Look at this student, look at this person, look at this teen human and allow them to make the choices that they want to make in the interest that they have; in the courses that they want to take; in the mistakes that they make along the way. And appreciate them for who they are. You had your turn to be a teenager. And now it's their turn. 

You can be there to guide them shoulder to shoulder but not as their manager fixing and micromanaging more as a consultant that offers advice and support when needed when asked for and appreciate that teenager for who they are. That means lock into what their interests are. 

If you have a teen who's interested in the stock market, ask them questions about it. If you have a teen that's interested in fantasy football, ask them about it. Learn more about it. If you have a teen that's interested in flying the trapeze, then learn more about that to be interested in what excites them and appreciate them for who they are as individuals, not carbon copies of you. Not some person that is your trophy, but a human being who is figuring out life and trying to navigate the best they can with you as their cheerleader.

I couldn’t love this more than I do. Well said, Cindy. 

My listener, if you haven’t already checked out the book, The Parent Compass, please do! And if you need some assistance figuring out who you are as you adjust to your new parenting role, the C.E.O. Training Team may be the perfect place for you!

00:21:13

Two Questions for You

Question 1: Do you know who you are? 

 and Question 2: Do you love who you are? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoyed this episode, please don’t forget to share it with others; it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience.  Also, don’t forget to follow this podcast - Your Empty Nest Coach - in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home.

All the links and resources I mentioned, you’ll find in the episode’s show notes. 

I’ll be back in December with a new episode. Enjoy the days leading up to the holiday season - they are just as important as the holiday itself - and there are more of those anyway.  

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:22:16

[bloopers]

00:22:51

Still Listening?

I love that you have made time for you today by listening to this episode. Should you be new here, know that there are over 160 other episodes waiting for your ears. If you aren’t new here, thank you for your continued support.

If you are wondering about the C.E.O. Training Team, this is for those of you who are looking for a little bit more than the podcast. I have weekly resources for you - Monday sessions called power hours - where you can pop in for a reset in a group setting, and get a little group coaching if we have the time. Your membership includes four 15-minute private coaching sessions (with me) to get you started, and much much more. 

Just for listening to the end of this episode, I’ve created a coupon titled PodcastThankYou use this on check out to receive a generous $50 credit toward your new CEO Training Team membership. That code is PodcastThankYou no spaces, and each word is capitalized to start - you’ll find that in the show notes. 

Use it soon as it’s only guaranteed for the first ten people who use it.

I’d love for you to join us!

[end music]

[end]

164: Empty Nest Success – The Power of Mini Escapes in Life & Guest Barbara Decker has a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction 💚

164: Empty Nest Success - The Power of Mini Escapes in Life & Guest Barbara Decker has a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

This is a packed episode with a variety of topics: 

  • The Power of Mini Escapes (resets) in life
  • Some Thoughts on Meditation
  • Guest Barbara Decker shares a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction
  • What elixir have I tried that so far is a game-changer? 
  • A Special Offer to Join the C.E.O. Training Team to Empty Nest Success
  • And more!

All the details are below if you'd like to jump around. 

Have a thought-noticing and beautiful month ahead:  be curious about your thoughts and how they make you feel. There is an incredible amount of power there. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The more you can take care of yourself - physically and emotionally, the more you will be able to show up for your child. ... Consider your dreams, notice your thoughts and emotions - notice them with love and curiosity."

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

Ep. 164 of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast includes topics: the power of a mini escape, meditation, guest Barbara Decker stops by & more!  🎙️ #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #midlifemom #resets #parentrecoveryadvocate #barbaradecker

Tweet about this

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 01:16   Quick Reminders
  • 01:52  My Wish For You Today - Consider Everything
  • 03:21  New Things: Out of My Routine (travel), Quick Takes episodes
  • 04:15  Magic Mind
  • 07:08 My Lessons Learned: The Power of Mini-Escapes From Your Life
  • 13:41 Ask Coach Christine: What Can You Do to Prepare And Make the Most of Your Emerging Adult Being Away or Leaving Home? 
  • 14:55  Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 15:59  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? Meditation
  • 18:07  Let's Find the Funny - Snapchat Filters at The Louvre
  • 18:29  What I Wish My Parents Knew - Guest Barbara Decker (Parents of Someone with an Addiction)
  • 21:13  Two Questions For You
  • 22:29 bloopers 😆
  • 22:38 Still listening?  - C.E.O. Training Team Information & Offer

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. What life reset (new or usual) can you consider planning for in the near future?
  2. Have you viewed a child’s addiction in the way that Barbara frames it here?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college (or not college) and life.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 164

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #164. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though; all are welcome here, as I’m focused on coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life, and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

Here we go..

[up beat music]

00:00:47

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:16

Before we dive in - a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for a free account to unlock a sampling of those resources -  head over to  EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. Training Team, or purchase other premium content.

Want to know more about the C.E.O. Training team? I’ll share more at the tail end of this episode. 

If you are looking for something specific or would like to hop around within this episode, you’ll find time markers in the show notes.

00:01:52

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you are able to consider everything. The beautiful thing about our journey in this life is that we are ever-changing. We aren’t the same person we were a week ago, a month ago, a year ago - and well, you get the idea. Things that we might have said no-way to years ago may now be worth considering again. No, definitely not all things - some things have been let go of for healthy reasons - but don’t be surprised if things periodically pop back in your life - whether a relationship, a job, a living situation, a hobby, or something else. 

Considering something doesn’t mean you have to do it, it doesn’t mean you have to like it. What is fun is to see if and potentially how you have changed in your thought-process, if at all. By considering things you get to dive a little deeper in who you are now - and isn’t that worth a few minutes of time? 

Whether you reconsider something and quickly know that no, you haven’t changed your thoughts on that, OR whether you now see things in a different way - it all in the end - means whatever you make it mean. Let it mean something fun, let it mean self-exploration, let it mean discovery. You don’t have to force it; merely consider it. 

00:03:20

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

It's been a month of adventure for me that that hat included a cross-country flight over a long weekend - wow, the jet lag really took its toll on me the rest of the week I returned - AND then just as I was almost feeling myself, a close friend flew into town for a week - and the almost three weeks of continuous being out of my routine has been a fantastic reset - one of those resets where you have had an amazing time but a week of the usual routine, doing laundry and catching up sounds kind of great right now. 

Isn’t it funny how we do these things to escape our usual routine and then when we are away from them, we might discover how much some of those things bring comfort to our life? 

I also tested three Quick Take episodes last month - they were a fun experiment but I think those will be the exception, rather than the rule. 

00:04:15

The newest thing that I don’t want to forget to share with you is the company Magic Mind reached out to me and invited me to become a Magic Maker. I didn’t really know what that meant but know that I am not one to share things with you that I don’t absolutely love so I requested a sample which I tried this past week, and oh my goodness, so far I really do love this one. So much that I might have begged for a few more samples AND I also placed my own order. I can’t wait ‘til my next package arrives! 

If you are like me of two weeks ago and have never heard of Magic Mind, I’d like to share a teeny tiny bit about it with you today - you can read more on their website! My sample arrived this week and I’ll be honest, I had done NO research. It arrived in the most adorable packaging with three fun bottles (or shots) of this incredible elixir that really did feel a bit magical.  I had made the incorrect assumption that this was a coffee replacement. It isn’t. With all of my recent traveling and projects, I had been sleeping in, not posting on socials and I was up to three cups of coffee a day, and that is not so great for me. 

After reading the information that arrived with the samples, I discovered it’s meant to be taken with your coffee  - or if you aren’t a coffee drinker - you can use Magic Mind all on its own. The first day, I DID brace myself a bit on as this is a green drink and I’ve tried more than my fair share of green beverages - Let’s be honest, good taste isn’t always included. But much to my surprise, I did enjoy the taste! 

This elixir put a pep in my step, helped me to be way more focused and kept my energy levels steady throughout the day - I even slept better and got to the end of my days surprised that that first cup of coffee in the morning was all I needed.    

I’m adding Magic Mind to the top of my C.E.O. Toolbox, but honestly, it may move right into a permanent space in the bottom of my toolbox - it does seem that good! 

Don’t worry, though, I’m not going to leave you hanging. I’ll provide an update next month and let you know how it’s all going. I’ve been making a video diary of the experience too.  

I invite you to join me in this experiment! Magic Mind have given me a 20% off code to share with you: it’s FEELAMAZING20. To use it, visit magicmind.co slash FEELAMAZING and enter the code FEELAMAZING20 - all caps - at checkout. Of course, you’ll find this information in my show notes. Magic Mind does have a money back guarantee AND if you get the subscription it's 40% off right now - that’s the one I signed up for! But know that 40% code only lasts 10 days, so don’t miss out on it. If you do order through my link and would like to share your experience on my next episode, let me know!  

00:07:08

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

[inspirational music plays under this segment]

The power of mini-escapes from our life. 

What is your normal day-to-day life like? For some of us, it is highly structured - alarm wakes us up and we do things non-stop until our head hits the pillow. For others of us, it’s a bit more chillax - where we have our top three things to get done this week and we’re happy. And that relaxed pace is our routine. 

There is no right or wrong here, by the way. You aren’t worth more as a human on this planet because you did more things today. For some of us the busy-ness is our happy place. For others the busy-ness robs us of joy. Your ability to be busy or not busy is for you to figure out, to know what level of activity allows you to find the most joy in your life. And that level probably won’t match others in your life. I want you to know that that is okay. 

What I really want to discuss, and it is related, is the power of breaking out of our normal routines to allow us to see the routines of our life with fresh eyes. 

For some of this us, this takes a large vacation. For others, it is a staycation but with no plans. It doesn’t have to take a huge amount of time for your reset to engage either, but enough time to feel like you were able to step away. 

I’ve found local things that provide this for me - heading to a campsite for a few hours to create a campfire and stare at the logs; or popping into a local casino with only $20 to spend to see how long it lasts. This one might be for me, due to the Vegas trips I did when I was younger - and I enjoy the game of craps - but five minutes in a casino and I feel like I’ve walked into another dimension - talk about a reset. And if you aren’t new here, you know that walks in a forest help me too. I have found that, personally,  I need a minimum of 30 minutes solo to get the most out of those but when I make that happen regularly, it’s a game-changer. 

YOU don’t need to have a campfire; a walk in the woods, or to go to a casino. BUT what I do recommend is that you find an activity or activities - or maybe it's people that allow you to feel a bit of a reset from your life.

And I encourage you that it doesn’t have to be a full vacation. That might not be a financial possibility for you right now - but don’t let that stop you from being creative here.

Most of us know that time away from things and people helps us to appreciate what we have, and see them in a new light. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all. 

What I find continuously fascinating is how I change in my response to things, as I mature and change. Not only in my daily routines but also in my resets. 

I recently confirmed that for me right now solo travel, when I’m able to do it is fantastic for me. My trip to California, I didn’t have one moment where I wished, “Oh I wish I had someone to join me,” in what I’m doing. 

I love the people in my life, but I also love my alone time. On that trip I got to speak at a school, made new friends, did things that I found locals had never done, and I really enjoyed stepping off the plane with no plans for seven hours. I seriously got in my rental car, looked up the nearest beach in Google Maps and my adventure began. 

If you notice too, I said that “right now solo travel is fantastic for me.” 

I can absolutely imagine a day where I will want to experience travel with a travel partner but until then I’m going to enjoy where I am and what I am doing fully. 

And whether I’m in my reset or in my routine, I have the opportunity to learn more about myself. There were things about my trip that I thought I wouldn’t really love but found, actually, they were exactly what I needed - and also the opposite happened. 

I returned home to jet lag that I had never experienced at that level before - and this is where I remember…hmmm… I am not 20, so maybe going right from the airport, taking a shower, and working isn’t the best choice for me. I’ll be honest, I knew that was going to be a tough one, but I wanted to try. I did. And now I know more.

Then going right into a somewhat staycation where a friend visited me, I was able to see where I live in a new light - someone who loves the cool air and seeing the changing leaves for fall - their excitement really reminded me how lovely where I live is. 

Then returning to the usual routine, provides so much internal knowledge: what are the things I love, what are the things I don’t love and are those things I can change? Why or why not? 

To be honest, I’ve had a few surprises hit me about who I am and who I want to be over the next few years. Some of the ideas I have are in direct opposition to goals that I have had for the last few years. I’m going to have some fun playing with those thoughts in the days and weeks ahead.

I share all these thoughts and ideas with you because sometimes it helps to hear other people go through the changes and the reconsideration. It would have been easy for me to keep on keeping on because that’s what I said I’d do - but when you’ve been through as many changes as I have over the last couple of years, honestly, what’s one more? Also, I may process this all out and still keep on keeping on, in the end. 

Either way, I’m going to have a great time figuring it out because it is this - the now - the day to day stuff where I get to fully live life. Isn’t it fascinating how when we get to do the things we’ve been striving for for a long time that we then discover new things about ourselves and new goals? After all, the finish line for one thing is the starting line for our next adventure. 

Analogy wise, this kind of has that love it or list it vibe - you know you do the thing that isn’t in your normal and then find that with some changes you are perfectly happy where you are. Or, you discover, yep,   time to move is here. 

I encourage you to consider it all. Have fun with the thoughts that pop up. You don’t have to keep any of them - especially if they don’t make you feel good - let those go. But the ones - the thoughts - that make you curious, that allow you to dream a bit more - try leaning into those.  Whether it is during your reset or your routine. Both are important. 

00:13:41

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, what things can I do to prepare and make the most of my emerging adult being away or leaving home? 

The more you can take care of yourself - physically and emotionally, the more you will be able to show up for your child. This  is a great time to begin to consider and prepare your CEO Life’s Toolbox items. I have episodes about those - I’ll put them in the show notes. Consider your dreams, notice your thoughts and emotions - notice them with love and curiosity. 

Taking care of you allows you to provide the space for your emerging adult to be who they are. Love them fully, when they share things and you feel strong emotions, take a pause.  Consider the relationship you want with them in ten years and begin to build that now - showing up slowly for them as a coach, not just a parent. 

On another note, for those of you who are about to have your child return home for a bit, remember that they’re different from the person that has left. I have more resources on that that I’ve shared over time and I’ll, again, have those in the show notes. 

00:14:55

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins

I remembered to post a video to collect wins this month, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a ton of notice before I needed to hit record.  However, I had a few amazing women jump in to share their wins on Instagram

Katherine of the5KiloTraveller shares: My book is with beta readers and I’m getting helpful and lovely feedback. After 2 years of writing it's amazing to be at this point. 🎤

RamonaWildeman shared: I hiked two times this week and cycled two times as well. 🎤

And Lady Katricia shares: I woke up happy today. 🎤

[cheers]  

I love all of these so much!

If you want your win included next time, be sure to follow me on Instagram or TikTok and comment on the next Celebrate Your Win video that I post - be sure to add a microphone emoji so I know I have your permission to share your win with my listeners. Remember: wins big and small we celebrate them all. I can’t wait to cheer you on!

00:15:59

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments, and then also do the deeper work as needed. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have the things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time because sometimes things that worked well for you two years ago or a month ago, just aren’t working any longer.

Let’s talk about meditation. 

Are you someone who can easily meditate? I have never had this come easy for me. I’d like to offer the idea that meditation doesn’t need to look a certain way. I have found I am most meditative when I’m in the forest alone and can focus on the sounds and details of my environment. 

Recently, I tried listening to 15-minutes of sounds - I even created one for myself: I posted it on YouTube - it’s of rain, and I’m going to make a few more as time allows. As you know, I don’t share things with you that I haven’t tried myself.  

I found, though, that as listening to this - that the rain sounds isn’t enough - my mind still stays really active. 

One day I had paper and a pen nearby while I was listening to the sounds - I picked it up and started scribbling while listening to the sound, and suddenly I found that my mind was able to clear in a way I never experienced before. 

I’m sure if you walked in seeing me do this, I can only imagine what ideas would go through your head but it works for me! For you it might be multiple sounds at once, or decluttering your house that bring you to a level of meditation. 

I encourage you to release expectations and to play around a bit: maybe pull out some playdough or paint and listen to some bird sounds - you never know what combination will allow your mind to quiet. 

But when you find it, you’ll know. It’s really good stuff. Be creative, have fun and let me know if you find something unexpected that works for you! 

00:18:07

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

I believe in the power of laughter for a quick reset and this is why I include this section within my monthly episodes.

So, this week I’m sharing in the show notes that there was a TikTok circulating recently where someone went to the Louvre and added snapchat filters on the art. What a riot. If you need a giggle - link is in the show notes.  

00:18:29

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My Parents Knew

Today I welcome guest Barbara Decker: Parent Recovery Advocate, a Certified Family Recovery Specialist (CFRS) and founder of Live Well and Fully. Barbara recently interviewed me for one of her upcoming podcast episodes and we had a great time chatting - same energy, positivity and the work she does is incredibly valuable. 

I am thrilled that Barbara shared an audio with us for this podcast answering the question: As a mother of someone with an addiction, what would you like other parents to know?

00:19:05 

As the mother of someone with an addiction, there are some things I'd like other parents to know, the most important thing is that addiction is a disease. It's not a choice in the way you and I normally think of choices. It is a disease, just like asthma and diabetes, and cancer, etc, are diseases. And as such, there are treatment options. So I'd like parents to know that this is not a choice your child is making to behave, the way they're behaving, it is a disease that they have. And then I'd like to share with you the three things your child would like you to know. These are things they may not be able to say to you, but it's important that you know them because they're true. 

Number one: it's not your fault. It really isn't your fault. Even if your child is telling you over and over and over that everything you do is your fault. It's not your fault. That's the disease speaking. 

Thing Number two: they are filled with shame and guilt, they may not present that way to you. But that is how they feel. Inside they feel like terrible human beings who are incapable of being successful in life. 

And the third thing I'd like you to know, because they want you to know is you cannot fix your son or daughter. Only they can change their lives. Only they can decide that they don't want to live this way anymore and take the action they need to take in order to make a change.  There are things you as the parent can do to encourage them to choose a different path for themselves. And it's not easy and it takes work and it's possible. To learn more about the work that we do with the moms changing the moms, not the kids, visit www.LiveWellAndFully.com and find yourself a pocket of joy today because you are so worth it.

You can learn more about the incredible work that Barbara does on her website - please share widely!

00:21:13

Two Questions for You

Question 1: What life reset (new or usual) can you consider planning for in the near future? 

and Question 2: Have you viewed a child’s addiction in the way that Barbara frames it here? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy[ed] this episode, please don’t forget to share it with others; it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Also, don’t forget to follow this podcast - Your Empty Nest Coach - in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home. If you enjoy emails in your inbox, consider joining my Thursday Thoughts about email list: I’ll pop in your inbox with a thought and updates on most Thursdays. It’s a great way to stay connected with all things Your Empty Nest Coach. 

All the links and resources I mentioned, you’ll find in the episode’s show notes. 

I’ll be back in November with a new full episode.

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:22:29

[bloopers]

00:22:38

Still Listening?

I love that you have made time for you today by listening to this episode. Should you be new here, know that there are over 160 other episodes waiting for your ears. If you aren’t new here, thank you for your continual support.

If you are wondering about the C.E.O. Training Team, this is for those of you who are looking for a little bit more than the podcast. I have weekly resources for you - Monday sessions called power hours - where you can pop in for a reset in a group setting, and get a little group coaching if we have the time. Your membership includes four 15-minute private coaching sessions (with me) to get you started, and much much more. 

Just for listening to the end of this episode, I’ve created a coupon titled PodcastThankYou use this on check out to receive a generous $50 credit toward your new CEO Training Team membership. That code is PodcastThankYou no spaces, and each word is capitalized to start - you’ll find that in the show notes. 

Use it soon as it’s only guaranteed for the first ten people who use it.

I’d love for you to join us!

[end music]

[end]

111: Christine, My Child Isn’t in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

111: Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Believe it or not, non-empty-nest humans listen to my podcast!

What?

Yep!

Since I create these episodes with someone in mind who isn't quite yet in the empty nest, this makes sense! Sure, many of my examples are empty nest specific, but you can change them to apply to your current circumstance.  Empty nest or not, thanks for listening, my beautiful friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... the lessons I teach are life lessons. Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only seven years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙No empty nest? You can still listen to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast! You don't even have to tell anyone. 😉 Empty Nest or not, this is good stuff! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #NoEmptyNest #YouCanListen 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Why It Makes Sense That Not-So-Empty-Nesters Enjoy My Podcast
  • If This is You, How to Choose Specific Episodes

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Is the empty nest part of your life at the moment?
  2. Do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 111 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and today I answer the question; Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me?  And this is episode number 111.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  What amazingness are you up to, today?  I’d love for you to share it with me.  Visit me over on Instagram @emptynestcoach or send me an email: podcast@youremptynestcoach.com and tell me what amazingness you are up to, and this is your amazingness.  You could have finished writing a novel, or you could have managed to get out of bed despite not wanting to.  We celebrate all wins here, and I get excited when you win.  So don’t hesitate to share them with me.  Woo hoo!  Let’s do this. 

00:01:28

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:17

Someone reached out to me recently for some help with empty nesting, and made the mention “but my child isn’t in college.”  We talked back and forth a bit and hopefully she found my insight helpful.  So here’s the thing, I do have a lot of episodes focused on college, and this is why: if I can catch some of you mamas before you hit the super empty nest permanent years, and am able to help you prepare for the transition, then I feel like I will have been able to assist not only you, but also your child or children, and potentially others in the house.  If you are feeling peaceful about where you are as your child leaves, then you will be able to enjoy the moments leading up to it more. 

00:02:59

Now, all that being said, the lessons I teach are life lessons.  Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only 7 years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you.  If your child left two, ten or twenty years ago, and you're still having some trouble adjusting, I’m here for you.  Here’s the underlying message I want you to hear; I’m here for you.  Guess what? If you are a father, I’m here for you!

00:03:34

Most of my episodes that are specific to college are labeled appropriately in the title.  You may find many of my examples are around college situations, but adjust the who, what and when to your own life, and see how that works for you. And if you would like to give me an example for future episode topics, I’m always open to your ideas.  I’m creating this for you, anyway.  Well, to be perfectly honest, part of me creates it for my daughter, too, should I not be on this earth when she hits these years.  And also, while I don’t listen to every episode back all the time, but sometimes when I’m stuck on something, I’ll go, wait, I did an episode on this, and I’ll find that it’s actually crazy helpful.  Isn’t that weird?  When you think about it, I create an episode motivated by my future self. My future self then goes back and gains insight from my past self.  Whoa.  It might be a little bit too much?

00:04:32

Anyway, back to college or not. In the end, all of us, mother, or not a mother, young or old, rich or poor, are left alone with our thoughts, and our thoughts about the happenings in our life have more power than most of us realize.  I talk about this in my episodes, of course, and it is the underlying principle in all that I teach, so if you are a single 35-year-old male who enjoys my podcast, thanks for listening.  If you are a 65-year-old woman who entered empty nesting 15 years ago and is still figuring out how to navigate it all, thanks for listening.

00:05:09

Adjust the examples as needed, pick the episodes as needed,  and I would love to know that you are listening.  Send me a message, you’ll make my day.  I guess you could be wondering if you are welcome in our GPS Support Flock. Honestly, if you like this podcast then yes, of course! You are welcome to join! In the flock, I am able to assist with accountability, I’ll cheer you on and I have a place where you can ask anonymous questions.  Have a question? Just let me know!

[Music] 

00:05:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, is the empty nest part of your life at this moment?  And two, do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

[Music]

00:05:49

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lankester here, Midlife Mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com.  My top tip today is to remember what you’re told on the airplane.  Always tend to your own mask first, before helping someone else.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll do a pretty poor job of looking after anyone else.

[Music]

00:06:12

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information on how to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  Well, that’s a wrap.  Guess what?  You are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:06:55

Still listening?  As I gather my thoughts for this script, it is August 29, of 2020. Our world just lost the beautiful, creative  soul of Chadwick Boseman from his battle with colon cancer. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage III at age 38.  So, it’s about the same age.  Working through the treatments is no joke. People do it; so many people we’ll never know about, and some you’ll know everything about.  It sucks.  Cancer sucks.  Death sucks.  I mention Chadwick Boseman and colon cancer, today, because, well any time colon cancer is in the news, it hits home for our family.  And please don’t think for a minute that you can’t get it because you aren’t older than 50, obviously, it happens, so don’t ignore symptoms. Get to your doctor if you have any doubts and trust your gut if you feel something isn’t right. I’ll link to resources on colon cancer in my show notes. 

[Music]

[End]


110: How are you doing with 2020❓

110: How are you doing with 2020❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

How are you doing? Let's check in. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity.  An opportunity to hide, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to rise to the challenge, and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves -  to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares an activity you can do when your mental energy is being drained. 💚 Grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Challenges as Opportunities
  • An Activity to do When You Feel Your Mental Energy is Being Drained
  • To Consider Transferring Your Thoughts Onto Paper

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How are you handling 2020?
  2. Has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises to you?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 110 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi!  I am Coach Christine and you are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast.  This is episode number 110 and I’ve titled it “How Are You Doing With 2020.”  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of your life! If this is your first time here, CEO in my world stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  Doesn’t that sound lovely?  This episode is going live at the end of August in 2020, and if you are listening to it right around that time, I want to say that I hope from the bottom of my heart that your family is healthy and safe.  I walk through an exercise to help you when you can’t seem to get out of a funk, if you will, in today’s episode.  If you want to share anything with me or my listeners, I always invite you to share your thoughts, or life tips, with us.  You may do this either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course,  I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 110 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P110)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:03

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:45

My beautiful, amazing friend, how are you doing?  No, really, how are you doing?  Most of us started 2020 ready to take on the world.  We had goals, plans, things to look forward to, and now, well, your goals may have been put on hold, your health may not be great, your plans may have all been canceled, your things to look forward to might have been, too.  How are you doing with all of that?  Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity; an opportunity to hide; an opportunity to grow; an opportunity to rise to the challenge; and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves, to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes; an opportunity to live in the now, the present moment; or to run from it, thinking that we’ll be able to escape from what is by looking toward what isn’t yet or what could-have-been.

00:03:53

If you are doing well, I want you to pat yourself on the back. No, really, I mean it. After you pat yourself on the back, reach out to someone today, by phone, video call, email or from six feet away, who may not be doing so well. Share your wellness and energy with them by spending time with them.  If you aren’t doing well, are you feeling like you are in a bit of a funk? Well, that is certainly understandable, and no one is going to fault you. Now, while one episode of this podcast isn’t a cure all by any means, after all, I have a membership program and a lot of episodes that slowly cover topics to help you, but today I want to offer an exercise to use when you feel like you are stuck in a bit of a funk. Maybe you have already worked through your feelings, or you know what you are feeling but you can’t seem to get to the other side. In that case, let’s give yourself permission to let go of the feeling for a few minutes and start there. 

00:04:54

Start by asking yourself what is my biggest pain point?  Am I mourning something?  Am I angry that people aren’t behaving the way I expect them to?  Am I upset with myself that I’ve gained some weight through all of this?  What is it for you?  On an ideally, blank piece of paper, write down your top area of focus right now.  Then write three emotions that come with that focus.  As you write down the thing that is taking your mental energy right now, I’d like you to imagine as if the emotions are going through your writing utensil, or your fingers, should you choose to do this on a keyboard, and let the emotions fall out onto the paper.  Got it?  Using your imagination, let that area of focus move to the paper, along with the three emotions you have identified.  Now, turn the paper over.

00:05:51

For five minutes, I want you to imagine what your life is like without that focus and those emotions.  Don’t worry about why you aren’t focused on it.  Don’t concern yourself with the fact that things haven’t been resolved with it.  It is five minutes.  It isn’t going anywhere and guess what, you wrote it down on the paper and will remember it when you turn it back over.  This allows you to imagine for five minutes who you are without that emotional energy.  Take five minutes to be present; to take in sounds, colors, smells, and beauty that you hadn’t seen when your focus was different.  Only for a few minutes.  Try taking really deep breaths.  I’d like you to look at that time as a transference.  Give that paper your emotions in those moments.  Actually, give me a moment, I’m going to try this out myself. 

[Music] 

00:09:52

Okay, I’m back, and interestingly enough, my five minutes had me away from this computer. The Universe timed it so that my husband and I met in the hallway for a lovely impromptu conversation.  I made my coffee and took time to smell it a bit more.  I was a bit more present as I did all of it.  My timer went off, hubby got it for me, he was upstairs, so I inadvertently gifted myself with some extra time. 

00:10:15

Now that I’m back, I don’t want to turn over the piece of paper at all, and I have more clarity on the work I was about to do on this episode.  I do mention writing our thoughts and feelings down on paper often, because the act of doing it makes us aware of the thought-deliveries that we are allowing to take up space in our mind.  Those take mental energy away from other things.  This is all fine if you are aware of it and know what your mind is focused on, consciously choosing it.  But if you don’t periodically check in on your thought-deliveries, well, if you are a regular listener, you know the drill, then your Protector is bossing you around with them.  What fun is that?  Well, for me, personally, it is no fun at all. 

00:10:57

Now back to you.  After the five minutes, you have options.  I’m not even going to tell you what to do.  I want you to see where you are led.  Trust your instincts here.  You may ignore that piece of paper, or heck, you may turn it over and have a new sense of clarity that you didn’t have five minutes ago.  Let me know how it goes for you. Email me at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com or message me over on Pinterest or Instagram.  You’ll find me on both platforms @emptynestcoach, that’s my podcast title without the “your” in the beginning.  You should know by now that my goal isn’t for you to rely on me, Coach Christine, to have the answers for your life.  I’m here to coach you to find your internal GPS that will navigate you through the journey of your life.  Oh my goodness, I can’t wait until you discover that for yourself!  When you notice your thought-deliveries, train your Protector well and have a good sense of what needs to be in your life’s toolbox, oh, my friend, I’m seriously getting chills just thinking about it. The things you’ll be able to do!

00:12:04

If you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to just cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock!  [Music]  The questions I have for you in this episode are one, how are you handling 2020?  And two, has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises for you?

00:12:31

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you ever considered creating a podcast? A podcasting tip that I submitted was included in a recent article titled “How to Create a (Successful) Podcast Channel: 20+ Expert Tips.”  The link to the full article is in my show notes.  I invite you to check it out!

[Music]

00:12:58

Anne shared the tip you are about to hear with me for the month of August way back at the beginning of the year, before COVID was known about.  She sure thinks ahead!  While colleges your child may be looking at may not have much social life this semester, seeing how they are handling it is a great thing to research. Thanks for sharing your tip with us, Anne! 

00:13:18

Anne:  Hi!  This is Anne from Parent’s Guide to the College Puzzle.  My quick tip for today is if your high school senior’s having trouble paring down the list of colleges to arrange for eight to twelve schools, consider these sometimes overlooked aspects of a college.  Check out the social life.  What is there to do, both on and off campus, when students aren’t in class?  Which colleges offer the intramural sports clubs or volunteer programs your future freshman wants to participate in?  How’s the weather?  If your teen hates snow, they’ll be happier at colleges with milder climates, and the reverse is true.  A student who likes winter sports, will want colleges in places where they can participate in these activities.

00:13:52

Confirm which majors and minors are offered.  If a college doesn’t have the major and any potential majors your student is interested in, take it off the list.  Remember to look at the available minor options, too.  Find out the male to female ratio.  Colleges tend to have more girls than boys, but some campuses are skewed much higher one way or the other.  This might make a difference to your teen.  How big is Greek life?  Sororities and fraternities dominate at some campuses and play a minor role at others.  For kids who have a preference either way, this can be important.  Who else goes there?  Your school’s Naviance account or your student’s guidance counselor can show you the popular colleges among graduates from your high school.  This is helpful if your teen wants to see a familiar face those first weeks on campus, or if they don’t.  Remember the final list of colleges should include two safety schools, two reach schools, and the remainder, target schools.  Good luck!

[Music]

00:14:42

Christine:  Do you have a Quick Tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would love to include it in an upcoming episode.  See my show notes for links to submit your own audio tip.  I am just about done here. But not before I remind you, of course, that you, my beautiful friend, are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

Still listening? 

Have you received a green popsicle stick from me yet? If not, why not? I’m happy to send you one, or three! I have instructions on how to receive your green popsicle stick from me, when you download my free printable: “How To Find Yourself in the Empty Nest” resource. 

[Music]

[End]

[Music]

[End]

109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock 📝

109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock 📝

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

In this podcast episode,  I share a few helpful nuggets from inside the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Empty Nest Success

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Make sure you are your biggest fan."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares a peek inside the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Empty Nest Success 💚 Remember to be your biggest fan! #EmptyNest  #MidlifePodcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • The Power in Getting to Know Your Future Self
  • Some Words to Say to Yourself As You Work To Discover Your Future Self

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you know your future-self well?
  2. Does your future-self have anything to say to you?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 109 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48 

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  So, how has your week been?  I hope that your thoughts about it are positive even when the happenings in your life might not appear to be.  Do you have any wins you would like to share with us?  You know that I would love to hear them, and the other listeners of this podcast may find your win inspiring to them!  If you have a win, or a question to share with me, I invite you to share via audio, either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; On Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button.  Get the idea?  You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com. Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 109 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P109)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:53

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:37

An extra thank you to SocalChris who left a five-star review on Apple Podcasts for this podcast.  The review is titled, “Christine is so much fun,” and says, “The cheer and joy just sparkles from Christine’s message through to your earbuds! I enjoy the way she looks positively at some of the hardest experiences we have as our kids become adults.”   Wow, SocalChris, thanks for the 5-star rating and review, and I’m honored you have chosen to listen to my podcast.  What great writing, by the way!

00:03:11

Now for you, my empty nest friend, in this episode, I’m sharing some bites of information that came out of the GPS Support Flock, so you could have a glimpse inside.  My first share came from a group support call.  I do not record for the first 75 percent or so of these calls and then, at the tail end, if we have a session with bites of information worth sharing with everyone, then I record a quick wrap-up call.

00:03:36

In one of these calls, a flock member asked a bit about her future self. My wrap up points were: number one, keep in mind future you.  Figure out who she is, what point in time is she in, a week; five years; ten years?  I like to think of my future-self as pretty far out because she puts this moment, this day into perspective for me.  Usually she says things like, “you won’t even remember this.”  For that reason, I like to look further out on my timeline.  The better you know your future-self (when you figure her out),  the better you really explore who she is, what she is doing, then you can use her for everything else, rather than coming to me.  A flock like this is still fantastic for reminders and to keep you on track, if you need accountability.  For example, we can remind you to check in with your future self.  In the end though, your future self knows you better than I do.  Remember too, it isn’t only about finding your future self, figuring out who they are, and trusting them, the power comes in when you actually access them.  Then you can ask your future self, “How did I handle this?”  You’ll quickly get into the mode she’s already in.  It is great fun!

00:04:57

The other thing I shared is to make sure you are your biggest fan. Be careful that you aren’t beating yourself up with your thoughts. When you do something awesome, celebrate it.  Who cares if your neighbor thinks it’s small.  This is where knowing future-you is helpful.  Maybe you feel funny about patting yourself on the back, but if I consider future me, she says “Thanks for doing that.  You’re doing a great job.  You are more on the path to meet me and discover who I am.  If you don’t do that work, I don’t get to be all I can be.”

00:05:31

Some action items and things to do and ask yourself:  how well do you know future you?  We have things that our future-selves will accomplish, maybe a list, what you think she’s accomplished, but who is the person doing the things on the list?  There is a quick free training I have about “Finding Future You,” available on my website, but the real navigation tool is the “First Steps Toward Success” program that you will find in the GPS Support Flock.  

00:06:00

Give yourself the time needed to discover your future self. 

Who are you, as you are doing that thing that you want to do?  Live in it, in detail, using your imagination, and not just for minutes but for days.  Ask yourself how does this feel different from my current life?  How will that version of me be different from this current version of me?  Then, allow for modifications. If you spend time living in a version of future-you, and find you don’t like who that is, consider it a big win. Knowing what you don’t want to do is incredibly important.

00:06:37

Some action steps to take, one, do the work.  Ask me questions along the way, that’s what this flock is for.  Two, uncover.  Three, then ask yourself, how did I get there?  My listener in a follow up chat that I had with a flock member, about her future self, this is what I told her: you will discover your amazing self again! Try this on for size: I am worth the work I'm doing to discover my amazing self.  She's hiding but I will find her! My imperfection now, as I move forward, drives me closer to my future-self, and each step, forwards, backwards, in slow-motion, or running, has a lesson for me that will allow me to level-up. I'm thankful for all of it.  I'm worth all of this, and the journey is going to be fun.

[Music]

00:07:26

Of course, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock where I have a full workshop on this topic, “Your Future Self.” I have worksheets and more.  The questions I have for you in this episode are, and I know I’ve asked similar questions in earlier episodes, but these are really good questions to ask yourself periodically: one, do you know your future-self well? And, two, does your future-self have anything to say to you?

[Music]

00:08:15

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you checked out my Instagram Reels yet? As of this recording, I’m having fun with them.  I don’t know if I’ll keep up with them.  They do take more time than I should allow but my future-self is giggling with me, so it’s all good. If your child listened to a lot of the Wiggles when they were younger, I have one there that you may appreciate.

[Music]

00:08:35

Today, our quick tip is the wrap-up tip that Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveler, from New Zealand, shared with me way back before physical distancing began. So as you check-in with your future self who hopefully is able to travel freely, remember Katherine’s great tips.

00:08:53

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Katherine:  I thought today I would do a recap of what I’ve mentioned so far about traveling light.  So firstly, I asked you to consider the idea of traveling light and being open to it.  Sometimes a new concept can be really out there and challenging.  But I think as empty nesters, we are open to new ideas as our family world is changing.  We need to start looking at what we can do for ourselves.  For me, I talked about taking what you need when you travel light.  I don’t want you traveling and feeling like you’ve left essential things at home.  You have to be comfortable traveling.  I mean, I take my hair straightener so that I feel good about myself.  So remember, this has to work for you.

00:09:43

My next tip was to take less.  My favorite saying is take what you need, but take less of it.  That really is a key concept when traveling light.  Take what you need, but take less of it.  That included packing a travel wardrobe that mixes and matches perfectly, swapping out heavy gear with lighter options and reducing your toiletries and cosmetics by putting them in smaller containers.

00:10:15

Then I talked about wearing your heavy or bulky gear on the plane.  Although, hopefully, after listening to the previous episode, you would have swapped those heavy items with lighter things.  Even so, you’ve got to wear something on the flight, so why not the gear that takes up the most room in your bag?  Finally, I talked about Merino and Smartwool, and my endeavor to single-handedly promote the New Zealand wool industry.  My sheep farming brother would be very impressed with me.  But seriously, Merino, with all its great qualities, is the perfect fabric when traveling light, so be open to the idea of traveling light.  Take what you need, but take less of it.  Wear your heavier or bulkier gear on your flight, and consider Merino or Smartwool.  So many ideas and so many more to follow.  Happy light travels.

[Music]

00:11:10

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  And with that, I wish you a beautiful, Conscious, Effective Olympian-esque day and week ahead for you, my empty nest friend.  You should already know this, but you are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

00:11:46

Still listening?  Thanks for being you, for listening and for checking your thoughts. You are not only improving your own life but indirectly you are an example to others. Keep being amazing, my empty nest friend!

[Music]

[End]