111: Christine, My Child Isn’t in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

111: Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Believe it or not, non-empty-nest humans listen to my podcast!

What?

Yep!

Since I create these episodes with someone in mind who isn't quite yet in the empty nest, this makes sense! Sure, many of my examples are empty nest specific, but you can change them to apply to your current circumstance.  Empty nest or not, thanks for listening, my beautiful friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... the lessons I teach are life lessons. Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only seven years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙No empty nest? You can still listen to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast! You don't even have to tell anyone. 😉 Empty Nest or not, this is good stuff! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #NoEmptyNest #YouCanListen 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Why It Makes Sense That Not-So-Empty-Nesters Enjoy My Podcast
  • If This is You, How to Choose Specific Episodes

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Is the empty nest part of your life at the moment?
  2. Do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 111 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and today I answer the question; Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me?  And this is episode number 111.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  What amazingness are you up to, today?  I’d love for you to share it with me.  Visit me over on Instagram @emptynestcoach or send me an email: podcast@youremptynestcoach.com and tell me what amazingness you are up to, and this is your amazingness.  You could have finished writing a novel, or you could have managed to get out of bed despite not wanting to.  We celebrate all wins here, and I get excited when you win.  So don’t hesitate to share them with me.  Woo hoo!  Let’s do this. 

00:01:28

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:17

Someone reached out to me recently for some help with empty nesting, and made the mention “but my child isn’t in college.”  We talked back and forth a bit and hopefully she found my insight helpful.  So here’s the thing, I do have a lot of episodes focused on college, and this is why: if I can catch some of you mamas before you hit the super empty nest permanent years, and am able to help you prepare for the transition, then I feel like I will have been able to assist not only you, but also your child or children, and potentially others in the house.  If you are feeling peaceful about where you are as your child leaves, then you will be able to enjoy the moments leading up to it more. 

00:02:59

Now, all that being said, the lessons I teach are life lessons.  Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only 7 years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you.  If your child left two, ten or twenty years ago, and you're still having some trouble adjusting, I’m here for you.  Here’s the underlying message I want you to hear; I’m here for you.  Guess what? If you are a father, I’m here for you!

00:03:34

Most of my episodes that are specific to college are labeled appropriately in the title.  You may find many of my examples are around college situations, but adjust the who, what and when to your own life, and see how that works for you. And if you would like to give me an example for future episode topics, I’m always open to your ideas.  I’m creating this for you, anyway.  Well, to be perfectly honest, part of me creates it for my daughter, too, should I not be on this earth when she hits these years.  And also, while I don’t listen to every episode back all the time, but sometimes when I’m stuck on something, I’ll go, wait, I did an episode on this, and I’ll find that it’s actually crazy helpful.  Isn’t that weird?  When you think about it, I create an episode motivated by my future self. My future self then goes back and gains insight from my past self.  Whoa.  It might be a little bit too much?

00:04:32

Anyway, back to college or not. In the end, all of us, mother, or not a mother, young or old, rich or poor, are left alone with our thoughts, and our thoughts about the happenings in our life have more power than most of us realize.  I talk about this in my episodes, of course, and it is the underlying principle in all that I teach, so if you are a single 35-year-old male who enjoys my podcast, thanks for listening.  If you are a 65-year-old woman who entered empty nesting 15 years ago and is still figuring out how to navigate it all, thanks for listening.

00:05:09

Adjust the examples as needed, pick the episodes as needed,  and I would love to know that you are listening.  Send me a message, you’ll make my day.  I guess you could be wondering if you are welcome in our GPS Support Flock. Honestly, if you like this podcast then yes, of course! You are welcome to join! In the flock, I am able to assist with accountability, I’ll cheer you on and I have a place where you can ask anonymous questions.  Have a question? Just let me know!

[Music] 

00:05:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, is the empty nest part of your life at this moment?  And two, do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

[Music]

00:05:49

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lankester here, Midlife Mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com.  My top tip today is to remember what you’re told on the airplane.  Always tend to your own mask first, before helping someone else.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll do a pretty poor job of looking after anyone else.

[Music]

00:06:12

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information on how to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  Well, that’s a wrap.  Guess what?  You are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:06:55

Still listening?  As I gather my thoughts for this script, it is August 29, of 2020. Our world just lost the beautiful, creative  soul of Chadwick Boseman from his battle with colon cancer. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage III at age 38.  So, it’s about the same age.  Working through the treatments is no joke. People do it; so many people we’ll never know about, and some you’ll know everything about.  It sucks.  Cancer sucks.  Death sucks.  I mention Chadwick Boseman and colon cancer, today, because, well any time colon cancer is in the news, it hits home for our family.  And please don’t think for a minute that you can’t get it because you aren’t older than 50, obviously, it happens, so don’t ignore symptoms. Get to your doctor if you have any doubts and trust your gut if you feel something isn’t right. I’ll link to resources on colon cancer in my show notes. 

[Music]

[End]


110: How are you doing with 2020❓

110: How are you doing with 2020❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

How are you doing? Let's check in. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity.  An opportunity to hide, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to rise to the challenge, and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves -  to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares an activity you can do when your mental energy is being drained. 💚 Grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Challenges as Opportunities
  • An Activity to do When You Feel Your Mental Energy is Being Drained
  • To Consider Transferring Your Thoughts Onto Paper

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How are you handling 2020?
  2. Has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises to you?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 110 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi!  I am Coach Christine and you are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast.  This is episode number 110 and I’ve titled it “How Are You Doing With 2020.”  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of your life! If this is your first time here, CEO in my world stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  Doesn’t that sound lovely?  This episode is going live at the end of August in 2020, and if you are listening to it right around that time, I want to say that I hope from the bottom of my heart that your family is healthy and safe.  I walk through an exercise to help you when you can’t seem to get out of a funk, if you will, in today’s episode.  If you want to share anything with me or my listeners, I always invite you to share your thoughts, or life tips, with us.  You may do this either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course,  I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 110 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P110)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:03

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:45

My beautiful, amazing friend, how are you doing?  No, really, how are you doing?  Most of us started 2020 ready to take on the world.  We had goals, plans, things to look forward to, and now, well, your goals may have been put on hold, your health may not be great, your plans may have all been canceled, your things to look forward to might have been, too.  How are you doing with all of that?  Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity; an opportunity to hide; an opportunity to grow; an opportunity to rise to the challenge; and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves, to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes; an opportunity to live in the now, the present moment; or to run from it, thinking that we’ll be able to escape from what is by looking toward what isn’t yet or what could-have-been.

00:03:53

If you are doing well, I want you to pat yourself on the back. No, really, I mean it. After you pat yourself on the back, reach out to someone today, by phone, video call, email or from six feet away, who may not be doing so well. Share your wellness and energy with them by spending time with them.  If you aren’t doing well, are you feeling like you are in a bit of a funk? Well, that is certainly understandable, and no one is going to fault you. Now, while one episode of this podcast isn’t a cure all by any means, after all, I have a membership program and a lot of episodes that slowly cover topics to help you, but today I want to offer an exercise to use when you feel like you are stuck in a bit of a funk. Maybe you have already worked through your feelings, or you know what you are feeling but you can’t seem to get to the other side. In that case, let’s give yourself permission to let go of the feeling for a few minutes and start there. 

00:04:54

Start by asking yourself what is my biggest pain point?  Am I mourning something?  Am I angry that people aren’t behaving the way I expect them to?  Am I upset with myself that I’ve gained some weight through all of this?  What is it for you?  On an ideally, blank piece of paper, write down your top area of focus right now.  Then write three emotions that come with that focus.  As you write down the thing that is taking your mental energy right now, I’d like you to imagine as if the emotions are going through your writing utensil, or your fingers, should you choose to do this on a keyboard, and let the emotions fall out onto the paper.  Got it?  Using your imagination, let that area of focus move to the paper, along with the three emotions you have identified.  Now, turn the paper over.

00:05:51

For five minutes, I want you to imagine what your life is like without that focus and those emotions.  Don’t worry about why you aren’t focused on it.  Don’t concern yourself with the fact that things haven’t been resolved with it.  It is five minutes.  It isn’t going anywhere and guess what, you wrote it down on the paper and will remember it when you turn it back over.  This allows you to imagine for five minutes who you are without that emotional energy.  Take five minutes to be present; to take in sounds, colors, smells, and beauty that you hadn’t seen when your focus was different.  Only for a few minutes.  Try taking really deep breaths.  I’d like you to look at that time as a transference.  Give that paper your emotions in those moments.  Actually, give me a moment, I’m going to try this out myself. 

[Music] 

00:09:52

Okay, I’m back, and interestingly enough, my five minutes had me away from this computer. The Universe timed it so that my husband and I met in the hallway for a lovely impromptu conversation.  I made my coffee and took time to smell it a bit more.  I was a bit more present as I did all of it.  My timer went off, hubby got it for me, he was upstairs, so I inadvertently gifted myself with some extra time. 

00:10:15

Now that I’m back, I don’t want to turn over the piece of paper at all, and I have more clarity on the work I was about to do on this episode.  I do mention writing our thoughts and feelings down on paper often, because the act of doing it makes us aware of the thought-deliveries that we are allowing to take up space in our mind.  Those take mental energy away from other things.  This is all fine if you are aware of it and know what your mind is focused on, consciously choosing it.  But if you don’t periodically check in on your thought-deliveries, well, if you are a regular listener, you know the drill, then your Protector is bossing you around with them.  What fun is that?  Well, for me, personally, it is no fun at all. 

00:10:57

Now back to you.  After the five minutes, you have options.  I’m not even going to tell you what to do.  I want you to see where you are led.  Trust your instincts here.  You may ignore that piece of paper, or heck, you may turn it over and have a new sense of clarity that you didn’t have five minutes ago.  Let me know how it goes for you. Email me at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com or message me over on Pinterest or Instagram.  You’ll find me on both platforms @emptynestcoach, that’s my podcast title without the “your” in the beginning.  You should know by now that my goal isn’t for you to rely on me, Coach Christine, to have the answers for your life.  I’m here to coach you to find your internal GPS that will navigate you through the journey of your life.  Oh my goodness, I can’t wait until you discover that for yourself!  When you notice your thought-deliveries, train your Protector well and have a good sense of what needs to be in your life’s toolbox, oh, my friend, I’m seriously getting chills just thinking about it. The things you’ll be able to do!

00:12:04

If you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to just cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock!  [Music]  The questions I have for you in this episode are one, how are you handling 2020?  And two, has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises for you?

00:12:31

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you ever considered creating a podcast? A podcasting tip that I submitted was included in a recent article titled “How to Create a (Successful) Podcast Channel: 20+ Expert Tips.”  The link to the full article is in my show notes.  I invite you to check it out!

[Music]

00:12:58

Anne shared the tip you are about to hear with me for the month of August way back at the beginning of the year, before COVID was known about.  She sure thinks ahead!  While colleges your child may be looking at may not have much social life this semester, seeing how they are handling it is a great thing to research. Thanks for sharing your tip with us, Anne! 

00:13:18

Anne:  Hi!  This is Anne from Parent’s Guide to the College Puzzle.  My quick tip for today is if your high school senior’s having trouble paring down the list of colleges to arrange for eight to twelve schools, consider these sometimes overlooked aspects of a college.  Check out the social life.  What is there to do, both on and off campus, when students aren’t in class?  Which colleges offer the intramural sports clubs or volunteer programs your future freshman wants to participate in?  How’s the weather?  If your teen hates snow, they’ll be happier at colleges with milder climates, and the reverse is true.  A student who likes winter sports, will want colleges in places where they can participate in these activities.

00:13:52

Confirm which majors and minors are offered.  If a college doesn’t have the major and any potential majors your student is interested in, take it off the list.  Remember to look at the available minor options, too.  Find out the male to female ratio.  Colleges tend to have more girls than boys, but some campuses are skewed much higher one way or the other.  This might make a difference to your teen.  How big is Greek life?  Sororities and fraternities dominate at some campuses and play a minor role at others.  For kids who have a preference either way, this can be important.  Who else goes there?  Your school’s Naviance account or your student’s guidance counselor can show you the popular colleges among graduates from your high school.  This is helpful if your teen wants to see a familiar face those first weeks on campus, or if they don’t.  Remember the final list of colleges should include two safety schools, two reach schools, and the remainder, target schools.  Good luck!

[Music]

00:14:42

Christine:  Do you have a Quick Tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would love to include it in an upcoming episode.  See my show notes for links to submit your own audio tip.  I am just about done here. But not before I remind you, of course, that you, my beautiful friend, are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

Still listening? 

Have you received a green popsicle stick from me yet? If not, why not? I’m happy to send you one, or three! I have instructions on how to receive your green popsicle stick from me, when you download my free printable: “How To Find Yourself in the Empty Nest” resource. 

[Music]

[End]

[Music]

[End]

109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock 📝

109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock 📝

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

In this podcast episode,  I share a few helpful nuggets from inside the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Empty Nest Success

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Make sure you are your biggest fan."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares a peek inside the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Empty Nest Success 💚 Remember to be your biggest fan! #EmptyNest  #MidlifePodcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • The Power in Getting to Know Your Future Self
  • Some Words to Say to Yourself As You Work To Discover Your Future Self

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you know your future-self well?
  2. Does your future-self have anything to say to you?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 109 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48 

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  So, how has your week been?  I hope that your thoughts about it are positive even when the happenings in your life might not appear to be.  Do you have any wins you would like to share with us?  You know that I would love to hear them, and the other listeners of this podcast may find your win inspiring to them!  If you have a win, or a question to share with me, I invite you to share via audio, either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; On Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button.  Get the idea?  You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com. Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 109 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P109)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:53

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:37

An extra thank you to SocalChris who left a five-star review on Apple Podcasts for this podcast.  The review is titled, “Christine is so much fun,” and says, “The cheer and joy just sparkles from Christine’s message through to your earbuds! I enjoy the way she looks positively at some of the hardest experiences we have as our kids become adults.”   Wow, SocalChris, thanks for the 5-star rating and review, and I’m honored you have chosen to listen to my podcast.  What great writing, by the way!

00:03:11

Now for you, my empty nest friend, in this episode, I’m sharing some bites of information that came out of the GPS Support Flock, so you could have a glimpse inside.  My first share came from a group support call.  I do not record for the first 75 percent or so of these calls and then, at the tail end, if we have a session with bites of information worth sharing with everyone, then I record a quick wrap-up call.

00:03:36

In one of these calls, a flock member asked a bit about her future self. My wrap up points were: number one, keep in mind future you.  Figure out who she is, what point in time is she in, a week; five years; ten years?  I like to think of my future-self as pretty far out because she puts this moment, this day into perspective for me.  Usually she says things like, “you won’t even remember this.”  For that reason, I like to look further out on my timeline.  The better you know your future-self (when you figure her out),  the better you really explore who she is, what she is doing, then you can use her for everything else, rather than coming to me.  A flock like this is still fantastic for reminders and to keep you on track, if you need accountability.  For example, we can remind you to check in with your future self.  In the end though, your future self knows you better than I do.  Remember too, it isn’t only about finding your future self, figuring out who they are, and trusting them, the power comes in when you actually access them.  Then you can ask your future self, “How did I handle this?”  You’ll quickly get into the mode she’s already in.  It is great fun!

00:04:57

The other thing I shared is to make sure you are your biggest fan. Be careful that you aren’t beating yourself up with your thoughts. When you do something awesome, celebrate it.  Who cares if your neighbor thinks it’s small.  This is where knowing future-you is helpful.  Maybe you feel funny about patting yourself on the back, but if I consider future me, she says “Thanks for doing that.  You’re doing a great job.  You are more on the path to meet me and discover who I am.  If you don’t do that work, I don’t get to be all I can be.”

00:05:31

Some action items and things to do and ask yourself:  how well do you know future you?  We have things that our future-selves will accomplish, maybe a list, what you think she’s accomplished, but who is the person doing the things on the list?  There is a quick free training I have about “Finding Future You,” available on my website, but the real navigation tool is the “First Steps Toward Success” program that you will find in the GPS Support Flock.  

00:06:00

Give yourself the time needed to discover your future self. 

Who are you, as you are doing that thing that you want to do?  Live in it, in detail, using your imagination, and not just for minutes but for days.  Ask yourself how does this feel different from my current life?  How will that version of me be different from this current version of me?  Then, allow for modifications. If you spend time living in a version of future-you, and find you don’t like who that is, consider it a big win. Knowing what you don’t want to do is incredibly important.

00:06:37

Some action steps to take, one, do the work.  Ask me questions along the way, that’s what this flock is for.  Two, uncover.  Three, then ask yourself, how did I get there?  My listener in a follow up chat that I had with a flock member, about her future self, this is what I told her: you will discover your amazing self again! Try this on for size: I am worth the work I'm doing to discover my amazing self.  She's hiding but I will find her! My imperfection now, as I move forward, drives me closer to my future-self, and each step, forwards, backwards, in slow-motion, or running, has a lesson for me that will allow me to level-up. I'm thankful for all of it.  I'm worth all of this, and the journey is going to be fun.

[Music]

00:07:26

Of course, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock where I have a full workshop on this topic, “Your Future Self.” I have worksheets and more.  The questions I have for you in this episode are, and I know I’ve asked similar questions in earlier episodes, but these are really good questions to ask yourself periodically: one, do you know your future-self well? And, two, does your future-self have anything to say to you?

[Music]

00:08:15

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you checked out my Instagram Reels yet? As of this recording, I’m having fun with them.  I don’t know if I’ll keep up with them.  They do take more time than I should allow but my future-self is giggling with me, so it’s all good. If your child listened to a lot of the Wiggles when they were younger, I have one there that you may appreciate.

[Music]

00:08:35

Today, our quick tip is the wrap-up tip that Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveler, from New Zealand, shared with me way back before physical distancing began. So as you check-in with your future self who hopefully is able to travel freely, remember Katherine’s great tips.

00:08:53

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Katherine:  I thought today I would do a recap of what I’ve mentioned so far about traveling light.  So firstly, I asked you to consider the idea of traveling light and being open to it.  Sometimes a new concept can be really out there and challenging.  But I think as empty nesters, we are open to new ideas as our family world is changing.  We need to start looking at what we can do for ourselves.  For me, I talked about taking what you need when you travel light.  I don’t want you traveling and feeling like you’ve left essential things at home.  You have to be comfortable traveling.  I mean, I take my hair straightener so that I feel good about myself.  So remember, this has to work for you.

00:09:43

My next tip was to take less.  My favorite saying is take what you need, but take less of it.  That really is a key concept when traveling light.  Take what you need, but take less of it.  That included packing a travel wardrobe that mixes and matches perfectly, swapping out heavy gear with lighter options and reducing your toiletries and cosmetics by putting them in smaller containers.

00:10:15

Then I talked about wearing your heavy or bulky gear on the plane.  Although, hopefully, after listening to the previous episode, you would have swapped those heavy items with lighter things.  Even so, you’ve got to wear something on the flight, so why not the gear that takes up the most room in your bag?  Finally, I talked about Merino and Smartwool, and my endeavor to single-handedly promote the New Zealand wool industry.  My sheep farming brother would be very impressed with me.  But seriously, Merino, with all its great qualities, is the perfect fabric when traveling light, so be open to the idea of traveling light.  Take what you need, but take less of it.  Wear your heavier or bulkier gear on your flight, and consider Merino or Smartwool.  So many ideas and so many more to follow.  Happy light travels.

[Music]

00:11:10

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  And with that, I wish you a beautiful, Conscious, Effective Olympian-esque day and week ahead for you, my empty nest friend.  You should already know this, but you are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

00:11:46

Still listening?  Thanks for being you, for listening and for checking your thoughts. You are not only improving your own life but indirectly you are an example to others. Keep being amazing, my empty nest friend!

[Music]

[End]

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 Featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, Author and a Family Physician Focused on College Student Health

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, MD

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

If your child is scheduled to head back to campus in four to six weeks, you may have questions about how to best prepare for campus during COVID.

In this episode, I have great fun chatting with Dr. Jill about this topic. We talk about forms, checklists, favorite chapters of her new book, and so much more!

Her book, The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook, Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness, is the perfect reference book for both you and your child. I give it my five happy chick rating, and I invite you to  listen to the full episode. 

We created the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist! Click here or the image below to print your copy now. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Podcast episode!🎙 Is your college student heading back to campus in a few weeks? @JillGrimesMD and @emptynestcoach have some tips for you! 💚 #CollegeParent #EmptyNest #CollegeLife #CollegeStudent #FallSemester #BackToCampus

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Learn how Dr. Jill became an author and an on-campus health provider
  • What forms Dr. Jill plans to complete ahead of time for her college-aged daughters
  • Student health care center tips and advice
  • The moment we came up with the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist
  • And more!

Where to Find Dr. Jill Grimes Online

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you picked up Dr. Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?   
  2. What question do you wish I had asked Dr. Jill?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 103 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for a Different Campus. This is Part 2 of 2, featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, author, and a family physician focused on college student health. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:00

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! In this episode, I welcome Dr. Jill Grimes to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am crazy excited to have her here. I have read her book: “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness.” It is fabulous. I’m going to keep the copy I have for myself and pick up another one for my daughter. Yes, it’s that good. Speaking of my daughter, I asked her to take a look at my copy of Dr. Jill’s book. My daughter’s comment was, “This book will be great to have in my dorm room, especially as a peer RA, as residents may have concerns that I don’t know anything about.”

00:01:46 

Well done, Dr. Jill, on creating one of the few resources that when I shared with my daughter, I didn’t get the “Okay, Mom” eye roll. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.  No, my friend, I’m not immune to it either.

 

00:02:01

Dr. Jill Grimes is a nationally recognized medical media expert, award-winning author, medical editor, and Board-Certified Family Physician.  Her passion is prevention.  After two decades of private practice, Dr. Grimes now enjoys seeing patients part-time at the University of Texas in Austin.  What you, my listener will be interested in is that she is also a proud mom to two awesome collegiate daughters.

00:02:29

I don’t think I could find a more perfect guest for this podcast at this particular time.  My daughter’s scheduled to head back to college in four weeks, so this is timely for me, as well.  Dr. Jill’s book is a wonderful reference book containing topics such as sunscreen, tattoos, hangovers, the “missing” tampon, nose bleeds, and so much more.  You know that first aid kit I mentioned in the last episode?  Dr. Jill’s book has a Bonus Section about your DIY First Aid Kit.  You have to check it out for yourself.  I give this book my highest rating, five happy chicks! 

 

00:03:09

At the end of this episode, I’m also going to give you a couple of follow up things that Dr. Jill and I talked about offline after the recording.  She has a blog, media interviews and more on her website, so I encourage you to dive into those to learn more about amazing Dr. Jill.  Also, if you find you wish I asked her other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them in as an audio message or email, and we’ll see if we can get them answered on an upcoming episode!  I’ll be asking her a handful or so of questions today.

 

00:03:40 

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 103 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P103). I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:04:30

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:05:16

Christine:  Welcome to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, Dr. Jill Grimes.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much for having me.  I’m thrilled to be here.

Christine:  I’m thrilled to have you here today, and I love that your daughter is the illustrator of your book.  Now, was that something that you had planned all along, or did it just happen to work out?

Dr. Jill:  Oh, my goodness, I am just thrilled that it worked out.  No, it was not something I planned all along.  In fact, I just didn’t think a publisher would agree to that, because they have in-house artists.  What happened is, my daughter, I’ve been asking her to draw pictures and sketches for my medical presentations for years now, because that way I don’t have to worry about copyrights.  She’s done them; I’m not stealing anyone’s ideas, and besides that, I can make it look how I want to make it look.  She was doing that, and when I submitted my book proposal, I submitted her pictures along with it.  They said, well, is she available to be the illustrator, and I’m like, yes.  I’m thrilled.  It worked out great.

Christine:  I love that so much, and I identify with it, because I’ve also had my daughter make drawings for me, for the same reason.

Dr. Jill:  Yes, it’s super convenient.  I will say, in fairness to my daughter, she had actually already had a job at her university.  She attends Loyola Marymount University in LA, and she got a job as an illustrator for their press.  She had already had that work experience which certainly gave her a leg up in getting the job.

Christine:  That’s excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Proud mom brag.  I’m allowed.

Christine:  Yeah, go her.  That’s awesome.  Well, I’ve already taken the liberty of introducing you to my listener already, so if it’s okay with you, I’d like to jump right into my questions for you.  Are you good with that?  

Dr. Jill:  Outstanding. Absolutely.

Christine:  Awesome.  So what brought you to where you are today, working part-time, writing books, serving college patients?

Dr. Jill:  My path has been a little bit unusual.  So, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, from the time I was very little.  Neither of my parents were doctors.  My dad was a professor, and my mom was a mom, and a fabulous one.  They told me I could anything and be anything, and I wanted to be a doctor, and I did become one.  I started off with my own private practice, which I loved, but unfortunately, my mother developed Alzheimer’s and at the same time, our kids were very young, and it was just too much.  There’s only so many hours in the day, so I went to part-time, and then, a few years later, I’m like, no, it’s still too much running my own practice, even with another physician.  And so, I stopped my own practice, and went to work for someone else, where I could just walk in, be the doctor, walk out, and not have to hire and fire staff, and do all of that, and that was great.  Meanwhile, I ended up writing my first book, and I sort of naïvely thought as a doctor I could write a book, and the publisher would take it and go put in bookstores and it would sell, and I would keep being a doctor and that’s how it would go.  They said, no, that’s not how it works.  So, I ended up becoming a media person, and doing a lot of radio and some television, and speaking to larger groups and that was, you know, part of my career.  So, I stayed part-time, and I’m also that “Girl Scout Mom.”  So, I was the Girl Scout leader, and then in a national charity league, which was a mother/daughter service organization.  I loved being super involved.  Our daughters both danced.  I was the team photographer.  So as you can see, like many of us, I like doing a lot of different things, and I’m not the primary breadwinner.  My husband is.  He is also a physician.  In our family, it worked for me to stay part-time, and then, after getting into this book writing thing, and I’m realizing I had more books in me that I wanted to do.  I want to just be even more part-time, and as our kids went off to college, I’ve always been involved with their friends and their age group, so it was a really natural fit for me to work in a college setting.  And I live in Austin, and the University of Texas, I had worked there just you know helping out occasionally over the years for many years, and they needed me.  I wanted to be there, and so I’m very part-time there, but it’s wonderful ‘cause it works for both of us.

Christine:  That’s fantastic.

Dr. Jill:  Kind of a long answer, sorry.

Christine:  No, I love those answers.  More for us to get to know you.  

Dr. Jill:  There you go.

Christine:  It’s also, as you’re talking, I’m like, she’s so perfect for us to listen to right now.   And a total slacker in the mom department, that’s sarcasm.  So, I know you have at least one daughter heading back to campus in the fall?

Dr. Jill:  Two.  I have two.  One’s in grad school, and she’s in Saint Louis at Wash U, and then the younger one is a Loyola Marymount.

Christine:  Awesome.  So, with them going back to college, or I guess, the grad school, she’s there already, probably?  Right?  Is she there yet?

Dr. Jill:  Actually, no.  She’s remote also, unfortunately.

00:10:14

Christine:  Okay, so, this question works.  Okay.  Awesome.  So, as a doctor, wear your doctor hat more, and parent hat a little bit, what’s your biggest concern with your children heading back to campus, in our current pandemic?  And is there anything you’re doing in preparation for that?

Dr. Jill:  Well, it’s a little hard to sort out, because obviously I wear the different hats.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  But honestly, one of my concerns is just that COVID is going to be tying up the healthcare system so much, that I want to be sure that our girls are even more prepared than usual, to take care of all their non-COVID health issues.  Of course, I’m a text away for them, and that’s great, but particularly the younger one, out in LA, does not have a car and so I want to make extra sure that her college first aid kit is super well stocked, because if, you know, she’s got a cough, well, then I’m going to be worried about COVID.

Christine:  Right.  I know.

Dr. Jill:  But still, but if she has a cough from just having allergies --

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  -- I want to make sure that she’s got more on hand and understands when she’s supposed to use what.  We have spent a little bit of time already this summer, talking about some of those different things, and you know, when is it appropriate to access the healthcare system and all of that.  Obviously, with COVID, everything is different and honestly, my biggest challenge has been finding them a new thermometer, because, you know, you can’t find thermometers.  They’re sold out.

Christine:  I somehow got some on Amazon.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.

Christine:  I must have gotten really lucky.  

Dr. Jill:  Yes.

Christine:  I can’t find disinfecting wipes.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  It’s a challenge.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  I’ve always been a proponent of the digital oral thermometers, and that’s what I was looking for.  Now, they have all the no-touch infrared ones, and I am assuming that they are relatively accurate.  The things that have the roller on them, that it rolls across the forehead, those are not accurate.  

Christine:  Oh, good to know.

Dr. Jill:  The ear ones are mostly accurate.  I haven’t seen any great studies on the accuracy of the other ones, which is of course, what everyone is relying on, as we move forward with COVID.

Christine:  Yeah.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  There’s some different challenges this year, but I think the biggest one is going to be the ability to access the healthcare system when they need it, because the healthcare system is going to be tied up with COVID.

Christine:  That’s a really good point.  It’s interesting, because I was just reading, in my daughter’s school’s policy and procedure.  If you think you have COVID, because we started talking about this, you go to the health center, at her school, they’ll do contact tracing, and they’ll do a test for her.  And that’s her school, I know they’re all a little different.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  But what we were talking about is that then she’ll move, like say she tests positive, she moves to an off campus --

Dr. Jill:  To a quarantine.

Christine:  -- and I said, you know, I think we should think about this.  What if that happens?  You’re not going to have much notice.  It’s kind of like you’re pregnant, and you need that bag, or at least the list.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  Exactly.

Christine:  ‘Cause you’re not going be able to go back to your dorm room --

Dr. Jill:  No.

Christine:  -- during this time.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  So, the one thing that’s a little different is that if they’re going to go -- I want to say, for the listeners, in general, most of the health centers are not going to say to go there.  They’re going to say you need to call first, and that’s an actual phone call, not just a text and getting an appointment online.

Christine:  Good point.

Dr. Jill:  Because they want to talk with you through the triage nurses, and make sure that you’re coming in the right entrance, and you know, all the schools are going to handle this a bit differently.  But almost all of them that I’m aware of, start with a phone call, which is not something our college kids are necessarily used to doing.

Christine:  No, not at all.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  Second thing is, when you go, whether you’re going to a hospital or whether you’re going to a clinic, be sure you take your electronic chargers with you.  Because once you go into isolation, that’s going to be your connection, and you’re going to need your charger.  That’s something that ordinarily, kids don’t always pack those in their backpack automatically.  They’ll have their phone; they always have their phone, but you need the charger, too, and not just the portable.

Christine:  Yeah.  We need a list.  Let’s do a list.

Dr. Jill:  It’s a good idea.  We should do a list.  I agree.

Christine:  We’re going to do a list, listener.  We’re going to have that available, because I think you’re going to have your own special list, but I think having a starting point would be really good.  We’ll talk offline, if that’s okay, Dr. Jill.

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  

Christine:  Excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.  Absolutely.

Christine:  Okay.  Here’s my next question, those of us who already have our children in college, should have already thought of this, but sometimes we don’t.  Are there any medical forms or processes, that we as college parents, should have already filled out, that maybe we didn’t think about.  I know there’s some things with age, like sometimes they don’t even have to tell us as parents, things that happen.  Are there any pitfalls that you see in college patients with the process?

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  So let me start by saying, again, I have a graduate student, and a rising senior in college.  I have never filled out forms in advance, so this is new for all of us, and with COVID, I actually think it is a good idea to go ahead and fill out, there are a couple of forms, each school will probably have their own HIPAA release.  HIPAA is the privacy act forms.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  And so there’s a release of information and you can check on your child’s -- not child, your young adult.

Christine:  I say child.  Aren’t they always our children?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah, they’re still our babies.  They’re babies.  Anyway, you can check on their university’s website, and see if they have a specific form, or you can go to -- I know there’s several online paraform organizations, like one is called Mama Bear forms, and I’m not speaking for them; I have not used them myself, but I know I’m aware of many people who have.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  I understand it’s about $50 to get two forms, and one is the release and the other is the medical power of attorney, and that would be important if your child, who is 21, or whatever, anything over 18, if they were unconscious in a hospital, unable to make decisions on their own.  This would really smooth things out paperwork wise, if you had this already filled out and notarized ahead of time.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  And so, this year, I probably will go ahead and do those forms for both of our daughters. 

Christine:  That’s really good information.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  The other thing I really want to say is that as a provider at a university, honestly, it’s really not to me, it’s our nursing staff, and our phone triage people, get inundated with angry parents saying, I want to know is my kid there, being seen.  I need all the parents to know, we can’t even say that they’re there, or they’re not there, not without your child’s permission. 

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  So our hands are tied, so please don’t be upset with the health staff, they’re not trying to be difficult.  Honestly, we’re trying to do the best we can for your kid.  For something like, something we see all the time, like say your kid is really sick there, so they’ve got food poisoning, or they’ve got mono, and they’re just really down and out, and we need to kind of have them there for a bit, maybe to give them some IV fluids.  The parents know that they were on their way there, and it’s just like, text your kid.  They can text back.  We don’t take away their phones.  They can answer and most providers are going to be willing to talk to a parent, but we can’t call the parent, if the student is talking to the parent, and the student, right there in front of you says, “Would you talk to my parent,” and hands us the phone, then we can say something.  Every school’s got their nuances of that, but just know that the healthcare providers are really -- we care about the kids a ton.  I don’t know anyone that works where I work that doesn’t just honestly love college students.  We’re all there, there’s not a lot of money in college health.  We’re there because we love the environment; we love the enthusiasm; we love young people, and we want to help them.  Please know that your kids are in good hands.

Christine:  Yes.  That makes me feel good as a parent.

Dr. Jill:  We give a lot of hugs.

Christine:  Well now, social distanced, right?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  Yeah.  I guess, now we don’t.  No, we’re not hugging.  Virtual hugs.

Christine:  Yeah, exactly.  I have a new favorite GIF and it’s the little raccoon that does this.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  Exactly.

Christine:  I’ll have to put it in my show notes.  It’s very important.

Dr. Jill:  Absolutely.

Christine:  So, Dr. Jill has a book that she’s written, and there is a theme -- I’m going to talk about it a little more in a bit, but there’s a familiar theme in your book, I noticed, about washing your hands --

Dr. Jill:  Pre-COVID.

Christine:  Yes.  This is pre-COVID.  Washing your hands to avoid illnesses, and while it isn’t COVID-specific, I see the knowledge dropped already within your book, on how to minimize your chances of picking up the common cold and such, which is great.  Why does it take us humans a pandemic to notice these things, not that I expect you to have an answer.  But that isn’t my question.  My question is related to your book.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Do you have a favorite chapter of your book, and if so, why is it your favorite chapter?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so every author out there knows that that’s like asking like, do I have a favorite child, so hard to pick.  But I will say a little bit in deference to our younger child, who’s the illustrator, probably if I had to only pick one topic in this, it would be the insomnia chapter, because I was talking with her about doing illustrations and figuring out which chapters we could use pictures for, and I’m like, oh, this is great, we can have all the solutions to insomnia in this picture.  That’s my favorite chapter.  One, because there’s a ton of things that kids can do that they don’t realize, kids and adults, in and out of school, ways that you can - - insomnia, before you ever get to the point of being so frustrated that you haven’t slept in a week, and in college student’s case, that they’re flunking a class, then coming in.  So this gives them a lot of things that they can do on their own, and tells them again, when it’s come in and let us help.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thanks.

Christine:  Now, I’ve got to go back and look at that chapter.  So this week, I actually received a listener question for you.  

Dr. Jill:  Great.

Christine:  Thanks to Deb, from Connecticut, for the following question.  I’m going to read it for you.  “Hi Christine, I think parents need to talk to their kids about what happens if they do get COVID when returning to college.  If they’re close enough, do they come home?  Is there a COVID dorm?” Well, we’ve already talked about that, that the college offers, and would they be expected to stay there.  Think about the options before they go and discuss.  Emotions will be running high --

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  -- if they do come down with it.  Interestingly enough, we covered a lot of it, but yeah.  Any additional thoughts on that?

Dr. Jill:  I think setting expectations upfront is really good and helpful, and yes, if I get that phone call that one of our girls has COVID, is my instinct going to be to jump on a plane, ‘cause my kids are a thousand miles away in different directions, you know, is that going to be my instinct?  Yes, that’s going to be my instinct.  Am I going to do it?  I hope not.  One thing we really need to remember is that although COVID is scary for a lot of reasons, still the vast majority of disease is mild, and hopefully, if and when our kids get it, they will fall under that category of mild disease.  They’re going to be uncomfortable.  They’re going to be achy.  They might be miserable, but it may not be medically scary, and I don’t think we need to immediately go somewhere.  

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  The great thing is that now we’ve got our smartphones, we can see them, we can Facetime.  We can talk with them.  I don’t think we need to be just running -- we’re not going to swoop them in and take them to a hotel.  I’m sure that when you check into a hotel, they’re going to say, “Do you have COVID?”

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  I don’t think ethically we can take someone with COVID to a hotel.  Could you do an AirBNB?  Yeah, I think that honestly, I think that’s a reasonable thing.  I think if my kid were in a situation where I felt I needed to be there, that’s probably what I would do, is I would try and rent a home, rather then -- because I don’t think ethically, you can take them to a hotel, with the shared ventilation systems and all of that.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  Just talking with them ahead of time, to say, hey, you know, if you get this, the first thing that’s going to happen is you’re going to be isolated, we want to make sure that you have your phone charger and your phone, and your iPad and your computer, and the chargers for those with you.  You’ll have to figure out how the campuses are going to be delivering food to them.  How are they going to check their symptoms and move forward? All of this changes, of course, if your child actually were to be immune-compromised.  We know if our kids have special risk factors that would change our immediate concern.  But if they are the average overall healthy kid, and asthma does not seem to be making COVID worse, oddly enough.  We have not really seen a big thing like that, so if they’re a standard, overall healthy kid, I don’t think we need to be swooping in immediately.

00:23:06

Christine:  That’s good advice.  I like your honesty, too.  I hopefully will not swoop in.  I appreciate that.

Dr. Jill:  You know?

Christine:  I know.  We’re moms.

Dr. Jill:  And it depends on the kids.  You’ve the introverted kid who’s doing just fine in social isolation, and you’ve got an extroverted kid, who is really missing that.  There’s so many factors that weigh into this, but there you go.

Christine:  There really is.  All right.  So, if you could have all of the college parents in the whole world in one huge room, obviously, social distanced.  This is a big hypothetical.  And you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?

Dr. Jill:  This is a tough one.  I’ve actually been thinking about this since you told me you were going to ask me this, because I’ve got 30,001 things I want to say.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  But I think one thing for all of us to remember, and this is directed at me, too, is that:  one, young people are resilient, we’ve already seen that; two, this is sort of - - but not really, not every day of college is fantastic.  If I say think about college right now.  If someone tells me that, I’m going to think about Aggie football games and having so much fun, and the super awesome times that I had in college.  I am not going to think about the night that I sat in my dorm room sobbing hysterically when my first boyfriend broke up with me, or the day that I bombed the test and I thought, oh, my God, I’ll never get into medical school, or the, or the, or the, or the.  We all have those other things.

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  The problem is, is our kids grew up, and especially now, in this high pressure, what college are you going to, and all of that that we do to our kids.  We didn’t grow up saying oh, yeah, I had bad days in college.  They grew up hearing us or going with us to football games, and having these fabulous times.  One of the things that I think we forget to tell our kids, is that it’s not all great, and that’s okay.  Because the problem is --

Christine:  So true.

Dr. Jill:  -- they have this image of everything in college is going to be fantastic.  If they weren’t popular in high school, they’re going to go there and suddenly be popular, or if maybe they were super popular in high school, they get to college and they’re not that big fish in a little pond.  But there’s all kinds of disappointments that happen.  A lot of which happen in that first semester away from home, and it’s twice as hard because they think, oh, my God, these are the best years of my life.  That’s what I’ve been told, over and over.  So my one piece of advice is to say, yeah, college, I would say at that point in my life, that was the best time of my life, but it’s not all great, and each year gets better, and each year gets better after college, too.  We have to have more perspective.

Christine:  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  It’s such great advice.  It really is.  I say this often, is that I think one of the detriments is that we aren’t taught early on in life that life isn’t supposed to be perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  So everyday, things aren’t perfect, so we lose control, and if you just realize, okay, this is the not-perfect thing right now, I mean, it’s not always that easy to say that, but it helps.

Dr. Jill:  And COVID sure is making things not perfect. 

Christine:  Wow, we are really being tested this year.

Dr. Jill:  We’re mastering that one.  Got that one down.  Nailed it.

Christine:  We do.  So what’s the best way for my listener to pick up your amazing book?

Dr. Jill:  Well, because of COVID, I’m going to say the best thing you could do is to support your local bookstores, because I love small independent bookstores.  So, one, start there.  Order it in advance, and then they’ll either deliver to you by mail, or you can drive up and pick it up.  So I would say that number one.  Number two, of course, is on Amazon, and actually, it is also on Walmart and Target online.  If you’re on there shopping for your other dorm stuff, just add it to your cart.

Christine:  Go you, Dr. Jill.  You’re everywhere!  I love it.

Dr. Jill:  I’m in Walmart.  Whoo Hoo!

Christine:  That’s awesome.  

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  So before you go -- it’s so funny, I could talk to you for four hours, I can already tell.  

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  So I have four fun questions that I ask every guest of mine.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Number one, very important, waffles or pancakes?

Dr. Jill:  And I’ve just got to tell you, I swing both ways.  Kind of the --

Christine:  Excellent answer.

Dr. Jill:  -- I gave a lot of thought to this.  So, if it’s a Mickey waffle maker, Mickey waffles, every time.  If there’s link sausage, then pancakes, ‘cause I want to make it pigs-in-a-blanket.  So those are my determining factors.  Anything with fruit and whipped cream, either one is equal.

Christine:  Syrup or no syrup?

Dr. Jill:  Whipped cream over syrup.  Less calories, tastes better, feels like a treat.

Christine:  It does.  That’s awesome.  What is one item you can’t live without and why?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so my knee jerk reaction to that question is, of course, my phone, because that’s how I talk to my family and how I communicate, but you know what?  I can also do that through my iPad or my laptop, so if it was one thing within that, it would be iMessage.  But I decided to scrap all of that, and the one non-computer thing that I can’t live without is my blender, because I make smoothies every day, and that’s the easiest way for me to keep healthy.

Christine:  Now, I want to ask you twelve more questions.  Is it like protein powder smoothie, or fruits, or --

Dr. Jill:  No, nope.  

Christine:  -- what do you put in your --

Dr. Jill:  Frozen strawberries, two handfuls, I put a lot in there.  Frozen strawberries, banana, that does not have to be frozen, and then Greek yogurt, vanilla yogurt.  That’s it.

Christine:  Oh, it sounds perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Then to clean it, here’s the really important part.  I learned this a long time ago.  

Christine:  Yeah?

Dr. Jill:  You dump it out, you pour water back in the blender, put one drop of your detergent in there, put it back on there, turn it on, it cleans it, rinse it out, you’re done.

Christine:  Oh, yes.

Dr. Jill:  It’s life changing for me. 

Christine:  Pro tip from Dr. Jill today.

Dr. Jill:  There you go.  Clean your blenders, that’s ‘cause that’s the one thing people hate about making smoothies.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  So I learned that.  So there you go.

Christine:  That’s excellent.  Oh, wow.  All-time favorite movie and any particular reason?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so tough one.  If I could only pick one, then I would have to say “Shrek” and that’s because “Shrek” was the first movie we really enjoyed as a family, when the girls were little and driving back and forth, we do these long road trips that take 17 hours, and so we watched “Shrek” a lot, and I love the adult humor.  I loved the animation, didn’t know our youngest was going to become an animator, but it kind of ties it all together for our family.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.  So, you have an hour of alone time, no one’s going to bother you.  What’s your go-to thing to do?

Dr. Jill:  Take the dog for a walk or jump on my Peloton. 

Christine:  Really?

Dr. Jill:  Yup.

Christine:  Wow.

Dr. Jill:  Exercise for sure.

Christine:  What kind of dog?

Dr. Jill:  We have a Portuguese Water dog.

Christine:  I can’t even picture that.

Dr. Jill:  It’s what Obama had.

Christine:  Oh, okay.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  She’s black and white.  

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  They’re hypoallergenic, and they’re friendly.

Christine:  Excellent.  Excellent.  All right.  So, Dr. Jill, I am beyond thrilled that you took the time to chat with me today.  I’m even more thankful as a parent, that I have your book, and that soon my daughter’s going to have her own copy of your book.  So, my amazing listener, you know I don’t recommend things often in this manner, like I really don’t.  So, this one is a total no-brainer.  Look for Dr. Jill’s book in your local bookstore, if you’re able, or use the non-affiliate link in my show notes.  Is there anything else you would like to share with my amazing listener, Dr. Jill?

Dr. Jill:  Just that, guys, we’re in this together and it’s going to be okay.  College does not look like what any of us want it to look like, right now.  But you know what?  They’re going to have a super unique experience, and they’re going to be telling their kids about that -- college in the pandemic and how we all wore masks, and we’ve learned we can really be flexible and do things differently, and they’re going to find more and more fun things to do outside.  They’re going to have more frisbee golf aficionados, and all kinds of different activities.  So it’s going to be okay.  I’m there with you.  I’m concerned, too, but it’s going to be okay.

Christine:  Wonderful.  Thank you for that reassurance.  I love it.  Thanks again, for being here, and for the incredible resources that you have gifted the world with, and a final thanks for sharing your knowledge with the college parents in my audience.  Thanks for being here today.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much.

[Music]

00:31:18

Christine:  I hope you enjoyed this interview, my listener. Dr. Jill’s website is JillGrimesMD.com. I’ll have a link to her website and her socials in the show notes!  When we finished recording, I spoke to Dr. Jill for a few minutes.  We came up with a quick list of items to have prepped in a COVID Emergency Bag.  It isn’t all inclusive but will get you started. She also mentioned that in her first aid kit she’s now recommending that a dorm room, or suite of college students, have access to a pulse oximeter. Her reasoning is that if your child has a cough and fever you would contact the college’s health center but if your child also has access to a pulse oximeter and their oxygen levels are low, then that is right to the hospital worthy.

00:32:07

One final thing we discussed is she recommends a mask that has a pocket for a coffee filter. She has a blog post with all the details on the why.  It totally makes sense and the link, of course, is in my show notes. 

[Music]

00:32:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are: have you picked up Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?  And the second question is, what question do you wish I had asked Jill?

[Music]

00:32:26

It is time for a quick tip, advice, or thoughts from a listener.

Jo:  I’m here to talk about Instagram, which I have a slight love/hate relationship with, as I’m sure many other people do, as well.  I basically think there is six stages that you go through.  You set up an Instagram account and follow anyone and everyone, in the hopes they’ll follow you back.  Stage two, you realize you can’t possibly go through the posts from 2,000 people, you seem to be following sites you have no interest in, like your neighbor’s cat, who seems to have their own feed.  I mean, what’s that all about anyway?  Any way, you unfollow three-quarters of the people you originally signed up to follow, in order to get your numbers more manageable.  Stage three, is the very next day, when you realize that those three-quarters of people have actually unfollowed you as well.  Stage four, you realize that this is actually good, that now, you only follow people you like and are interested in, and the people who follow you are engaged and seem to like what you do.  Five, you realize when Instagram goes down that perhaps you’re a little bit too tied to it, as you alternate between sulking, rage and full-on panic.  Six, you realize that some of your friends on Instagram are actually more awesome, insightful, and supportive than your real friends, and wonder, if in fact, you can stop following your non-Instagram friends, figuratively speaking, and just live on Instagram.  Okay, so that may be a little bit extreme, but my advice is this: your engagement is what matters.  Interaction with like-minded amazing women living their best life alongside yours, not the number of followers you have.  This isn’t news to many of you, but to those of you who are new to Instagram, or feeling slightly overwhelmed, keep it manageable.  You don’t have to post every day.  Post when you have something to say.  If it gets too much, take a break, come back again.  It’s meant to be fun, not a chore, and don’t go so far down the Instagram rabbit hole that you forget to be present with the people around you.  Anyway, I must go now.  I need to catch up with what Mauggie, my neighbor’s cat’s been up to.

00:34:32

Special Thanks to Jo Davies, for her humorous thoughts on Instagram.  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all, and it is the best way to be notified of a new podcast episode.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  I opened a box today and it told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

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[Still listening?]

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101: Free Empty Nest SuccessTraining – Why You Don’t Know What Is Next For Your Life

101: Free Empty Nest Success Training - Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

In this episode, I share the first portion of my free training: Why You Don't Know What is Next For Your Life, Psst... it isn't your fault. 

In the full training session, I share with you how I found success in the empty nest, you will learn a bit more about me, and I ask you to consider two types of women entering the empty nest.

Which empty nest mom resonates with you

Enjoy! 


Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If you notice, CEO of her Life Sally also has badges, but these are her superhero badges!"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 A teaser of a new & free training for Empty Nest Success: Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life 💚 #ListeningTo #MidLifeMom #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #FreeTraining #WomenEmpoweringWomen

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What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider That There are Two Types of Women Entering the Empty Nest
  • If You Have The Interest to Learn More About Becoming the Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) of Your Life

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 101 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 101:  Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life...Psst, It Isn’t Your Fault, and this is just a teaser.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  Today’s episode is the beginning of my new free webinar.  We recorded it last Thursday and it is waiting for you right now.  So exciting!  

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button.  Get the idea?  Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 101 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P101).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:51

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:34

Hi, everyone.  I’m Coach Christine, your empty nest coach and we are about to begin our session: Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life...Psst, It Isn’t Your Fault.  Hello, amazing empty nest friend, this is our three-legged shelter cat, Lego, stealing the show.  Just like I had allowed everyone to steal my show over the last 18 or so years.  Now, I consciously let Lego steal the show, and I take care of myself.  But I didn’t always.  

00:03:09

Before we dive in, let’s make sure I’m not about to waste the next 25 or so minutes of your time.  You are in the right place if: you can’t figure out what is next for your life; you’ve spent the last 18 or so years doing everything for everyone else; ready to make a long-lasting permanent change in your life that will benefit you, your family and others.  If any or all of these apply, congratulations, you are in the right place.

00:03:40

You should have received in the confirmation emails a link to print out this PDF which you can use as we go through this session, or you can grab any piece of paper that you have handy and make sure you have a writing utensil.  I’ll tell you at the end how to claim one of these bonuses, should you sign up for the GPS Support Flock.  I’d like you now to consciously think about which one you would choose.  You have Weight Loss or Simplifying Your Life.  If you could pick right now, which one would it be, and write that down on your piece of paper.  Or would you pick both of them?  Totally valid answer.

00:04:24

Let’s talk about types of people.  There are types of people in the world, right?  When you think about vacations, there are the types of people who love being out in the woods, in nature, sleeping under the stars, sleeping bag on the ground, food over the fire, and then, there are the people who have to stay in five-star hotels where they have room service, a pool, all that fun stuff, right?  How about schooling?  You have people who are diehard public school families, and then, you have the opposite extreme, those who homeschooled before COVID-19.  Then, of course, one of the most famous types, dog or cat person?  In reality, most of us are somewhere in between.  But we find we identify a tad more closely with one than the other, possibly.  That may depend on the day, right?

00:05:18

Let’s consider mothers entering the empty nest.  At first glance, they look pretty similar.  Especially if you go with what is posted on social media.  One look at that social media account and you see how together they look, or how together they want you to think they are.  I would now like you to consider that there are two primary types of women entering the empty nest, and I’d like to introduce them to you.  Self-Help Sally and CEO of Her Life Sally.  As I introduce them to you, I want you to think about who you identify with, and how you identify with her, and who you want to identify with as you move forward in your life.

00:06:00

First, let’s meet Self-Help Sally.  She loves being a mom.  She loves her family.  She supports everything her family does.  She is an organizer of events, of things that happen in the family.  She uses all of her time to support others, to do things for them, and necessities for herself.  She’s even responsible for transportation, even if it’s not the actual driving.  She has the thinking of how to get them from place to place, or when they’re going to be home.  Self-Help Sally wears her family’s accomplishments like badges of honor, on her.  They are her identity.  Which is great when her child graduates, is in a rewarding career, or is incredibly happy.  But when her child fails a test, drops out of school, gets arrested, considers new career options, she wears those as if they’re hers, too, because that’s all she knows.  Then there are her thoughts:  oh, I need to call a friend; how do I support my child; how do I support my partner; I have to plan that event for my extended family; oh, I need food for that event; I’ve got to get my own doctor appointments in and she finds that there is just a tiny sliver of time left for her, with all this stuff.  Teeny, tiny, sliver of time.  Time, that on the rare occasions when she has it available, she looks to fill it quickly, rather than simply being alone with herself.  In that tiny sliver of time that she has left, Self-Help Sally’s looking for the next quick fix to solve her life’s problems.  She wants everything to miraculously feel better when she’s done.

00:07:47

She fills that sliver of time with manicures, having some coffee, coffee with friends, fixing up the house, doing some workouts, maybe binging Netflix, getting a makeover, taking a trip with a friend, having a bottle of wine, or maybe just a glass of wine.  Oh, maybe she needs a new partner.  Wait, if I talk to so-and-so, they don’t like that person either, and a little gossiping goes on.  These types of things.  Self-Help Sally thinks she’s helping herself when she’s doing them, but what she’s really doing is ignoring who she is.  She has no idea anyway, who that woman would be, so it’s just easier to stay busy.

00:08:26

How could she find herself in that small sliver of time anyway?  She’s sure she couldn’t, so she doesn’t even try.  If she really thinks about it, she’s got it better than her neighbor down the street, Janey Sue, so you know, she’s okay.  Now, of course, many of the things that Self-Help Sally has chosen to do with that sliver of free time, they’re absolutely fine.  Especially when they’re balanced in her life.  If she understands their place in her life.  I call it the top of her life’s toolbox.  The Bandaids, not the cure.  It’s when she expects these things to cure what ails her, that a feeling of unrest will settle into her life.  In this photo of a dam, it would be like you knowing that there are architectural problems with it, and instead of hiring an engineer and getting in the proper tools and resources to fix it properly, you decide that a cork from a wine bottle will do just as well, or maybe like 50 corks.  You take them and you start filling in holes in the dam.  Well, you and I know that those aren’t going to hold the dam.  But that’s kind of what Self-Help Sally’s doing.  

00:09:35

The cork is fine for a wine bottle, so there’s nothing wrong with it.  It’s just doing the wrong job.  What Self-Help Sally needs is a cure.  No more Bandaids.  Sally knows that her child heading out on their own means more free time for her, and she doesn’t quite know where to begin, or knows once she gets through her list of things she’s been putting off for years, then she won’t know where to begin.  How could she know what to do with her time, when she’s spent the last 18 or so years in roles supporting everyone else.  Let’s talk about how she really feels under everything.  Watch her carefully.  Tired.  No, actually, she’s exhausted.  She feels like a mom-machine doing everything for everyone else, only she’s not a robot.  When someone asks her who she is outside of her role as mother, she gives you this look.  When she thinks about the time that she’s going to have, she thinks she’s going to look a lot like this.  Which might be fun for, you know, half a day, and then what?

00:10:39

She wonders who she is outside of all the roles that she’s had.  When she thinks about it, does she even want to know who she is under those roles?  Because it might be kind of scary.  She thinks some days that she might want to do what she did when she was younger.  Remember that thing I loved to do?  Sometimes, that’s great, and other times, it just doesn’t feel the same way any more.  She also wonders if her partner and her are going to get along.  Self-Help Sally is a role-filler.  She’s completely covered who she is outside of her roles of mom, partner, school volunteer, employee, cat-litter cleaner.  You know, those roles.  This is the normal for Sally, and this is why she can’t figure out what is next for her.  She needs to know who she is, first.  

00:11:31

But none of this is her fault.  She was never taught how to manage all of this effectively, and in a way that would allow her to find who she is outside of her roles.  While she is really good at researching the next thing that’s happening in her life and navigating it for her family, but what about her?  I ask you now, is there anything so far about Self-Help Sally that you identify with?  What resonates the most with you?

00:11:57

Now, I’d like you to meet CEO of Her Life Sally, and CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  CEO of Her Life Sally has done the work, training her mind in a way that allows her to be strong, in a way she didn’t know before.  She has an internal GPS that guides her throughout her days.  She has a well-stocked toolbox for her life, and takes inventory of it periodically.  She chooses to go through life with a tremendous amount of self-love.  She understands what she has control over in her life and remembers how many things are outside of her fence.  All of this gives CEO of Her Life Sally a tremendous amount of peace.  Peace that she had never known before.  Now, if you notice, CEO of Her Life Sally also has badges, but these are her superhero badges.  Let’s look at one close.  Check it out.  These superhero badges are for: learning how to be kind to herself in her thoughts; for consciously choosing her thoughts; for processing through emotions; for training her Protector well; and managing things outside of her fence; for stocking her CEO tool box well, and more.  Now, I bet you’re wondering how I know so much about these two?  Well, my friend, I was Self-Help Sally, absolutely was.

00:13:25

Hi, friend, I’m back.  That was the beginning of this webinar, and I then talk about how I went from Self-Help Christine to CEO of Her Life Christine.  While I navigated to becoming the CEO of My Life, I have created resources for you to also become the CEO of Your Life.  If you want to learn more, please watch the entire webinar.  Check it out.  I have photos of my cat, of my family, and I can’t wait for you to learn more.  If you have any questions, along the way, ask me and I will be back next week in your feed.  Have a great day!  You are amazing!  See ya!

 [End]

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