165: Empty Nest Success – Life AUDITs, Trusting Yourself & Guest Cindy Muchnick of The Parent Compass💚

165: Empty Nest Success - Life AUDITs, Trusting Yourself & Guest Cindy Muchnick of The Parent Compass💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Do you AUDIT your life? Do you trust yourself? Do you live your life through your teen child? 

I'm super thankful for you, my amazing listener. 💚

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... how can you trust yourself if you don't know yourself?"

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00  Podcast intro
  • 00:52  Quick Reminders
  • 01:59  My Wish For You Today - Be in the Now
  • 02:42  New Things - Part 1: 2022, 2023
  • 04:31  New Things  - Part 2: A Magic Mind Update
  • 06:08  My Lessons Learned: Your Life's Traffic - Who do you trust? 
  • 09:39  Ask Coach Christine: Post-divorce, I might not want a partner again. Should I be concerned?  
  • 12:38  Christine? Where are You? I stopped by the Live Well & Fully podcast.
  • 13:34  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? AUDIT
  • 18:07  Let's Find the Funny - Taskmaster (again)
  • 18:44  What I Wish My Parents Knew - Guest Cindy Muchnick, co-author of the Parent Compass
  • 21:13  Two Questions For You
  • 22:16  Bloopers 😆
  • 22:51  Still listening?  - C.E.O. Training Team Information & Offer

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. Do you know who you are? 
  2. Do you like who you are? 

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 165

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #165. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though; all are welcome here, as I’m focused on coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life, and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

Here we go..

[up beat music]

00:00:52

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:01:21 

Before we dive in - a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for a free account to unlock a sampling of those resources - head over to  EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. Training Team, or purchase other premium content.

Want to know more about the C.E.O. Training team? I’ll share more at the tail end of this episode. 

If you are here looking for something specific or would like to hop around within this episode, you’ll find time markers in the show notes.

00:01:59

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you are able to sit in the simmer that is your life: meaning that you are able to “Be” in the NOW, this moment right here, and the next moment, and the next moment. These moments are your life. This is what matters. Breathe in and out, take in what is, feel the emotions and get to the other side of them. What are they telling you about your thoughts, and how can you change those thoughts so that the next moment is just as good or better than your last moment? You’ve got this!

00:02:42 

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

My personal life has so many new things, I can barely keep up with myself. How are your new things going? Whether your new thing is adjusting to the idea of your child becoming an adult, or you are writing a book. Each new thing is progress in learning more about who you are. I’m so excited for you!

For me, I will be a bit quieter on social media for a few months. I was just reading a transcript of a video I made in 2021 about “The Things I Plan to do in 2022.” Oo, that’s funny. [giggles] Life had other plans for me, and that is TOTALLY okay. While this year wasn’t so much about growing my podcast and coaching business, it was VERY much about settling into my life now that the divorce has been finalized - I could list all those things but that would need 2 or 3 episodes on its own. 

Now, in November, I did my 2023 planning early and much of the next year will be about having fun preparing for 2024 and beyond. 

And I’m not kidding when I say having fun is going to be my biggest focus - even when I’m doing things I wouldn’t normally consider fun. There very well may be seasons in 2023 that feel like I’ve disappeared, or am hibernating. But don’t be fooled, I’ll be establishing strong roots (like the root system of the mighty Oak tree) - yes, there is a reason I changed my last name to include Oak in it. 

But no matter what 2024 brings for me, I’m so freaking excited to follow my joy, my bliss and to be selfishly happy in all that I do in 2023. Want to join me?   

00:04:31  

In my last episode, I mentioned that I was trying Magic Mind, a green drink shot that is designed to take with your coffee  - or if you aren’t a coffee drinker - you can use Magic Mind all on its own. More than 30 days after starting Magic Mind… what are my thoughts? 

This elixir has allowed me to decrease my coffee intake - without drama - has allowed me to be way more focused on the things that matter, and has coincided with some large decisions in my life - can I say it is all because of Magic Mind? Probably not, but I do believe that the mental clarity I’ve received from taking Magic Mind was a significant part of some of my decisions this month. That feels amazing. 

Magic Mind has become a regular part of my life and now sits in the top drawer of my C.E.O. Toolbox

Magic Mind has provided a 20% off code to share with listeners of my podcast. The code is FEELAMAZING20. To use it, visit magicmind.co slash FEELAMAZING and enter the code FEELAMAZING20 - all caps - at checkout. You’ll find this information in my show notes. 

Not quite sure about it - no worries - Magic Mind does have a money back guarantee AND if you sign up for the subscription it's 40% off right now - that’s the one I signed up for! That 40% code, though, only lasts 10 days from your first click through, so don’t miss out on it. If you do order through my link and would like to share your experience in an upcoming episode, let me know!  

00:06:08

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

Your Life’s Traffic - Who Do You Trust? 

Here I go again with the analogies, and I do love analogies. 

This one is about trusting the information you have about YOU and YOUR life. 

I used to walk early in the mornings and sometimes would cross a large road - one with four lanes. 

An advantage to crossing early in the morning was that there was no traffic. If there was any - you could see it coming easily - no running across the highway needed. Disadvantages to crossing early in the morning? Honestly, I can’t think of any, unless you hate mornings. 

The road I’m thinking of is one that if you knew the area and I told you I was randomly walking across it in the morning -  you might stop in your tracks - especially if I didn’t mention the time of day - but for some, that wouldn’t even matter. They may say: 

Wait, what do you mean? The traffic is so busy there! Why would you walk there? You walk in that area? Where are you walking to? Why wouldn’t you just drive? 

These are just some sample thoughts others could share. 

Now, who knows, really, what the road and area was like when I was there? Me and me. Maybe a random car that I waited to drive by, but usually it was just me. 

If I was then influenced by this other person’s thoughts about my walk and made changes based on it - how much sense would that make?

Do they know the situation? Did they know the weather? The planning I took? The safety measures I put in place? The nothingness of traffic? 

No, they don’t. Yet, how often in life do we allow other people’s words - their thoughts - about our happenings in life - directly influence us. 

As if they spend time in our minds and know all the things we’ve processed. 

Sometimes these people aren’t even a part of our support system - and we still allow their comments to change our course.  

While I’m not saying to ignore all the people and things out there in the world, what I am saying is keep in mind that they don’t know all the things all the time.

Support system or not, do you trust yourself as you cross the streets in your life? As you take steps moving forward in your life?

A more important question is how can you trust yourself if you don’t know yourself? For many of us, we think we are following our own inner guidance but upon deeper reflection we discover that we are really following the voices and direction of many other influences in our life.  

Your GPS of your life ultimately should be your inner guidance. YOU. You are the only person, after all, with you from the moment you are born until your last breath. Learn to love yourself, learn to be your own biggest fan, and gift yourself with discovering who you are. You are so worth it. 

Inner guidance sounds amazing doesn’t it? The honest truth is it takes patience, time, continued observation and a joyous investment in your evolution to uncover your inner guidance. If you want to know more, my earlier episodes will help you get started.

00:09:39

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, I’m going through a divorce, and I’m not sure I’ll ever want to be with another partner again. Should I be concerned?

If you do the work to heal, to discover who you are and love who you are, and come to the conclusion that you don’t want another partner. What’s the big deal? 

If you are scared that you’ll never find love again, don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way but also see that it is a thought that isn’t serving you right now. And depending on how long it has been, it may not be a great idea to jump into another relationship right away, anyway. That new relationship may end up looking just like the one you got out of because that probably feels super comfortable to you - even if it wasn’t great. 

I’m not one to judge, and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I would encourage you to take time to fall in love with you first, if you aren’t there already. If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t know who you are, how do you know who would be a good partner for you? 

What if you love yourself enough to know quickly who isn’t a fit? That would be amazing wouldn’t it? 

What if you love yourself enough to not settle because sure, it may be great to not be alone but also, being with the wrong person can be a bit of a drag. 

What if you love yourself enough to protect yourself? 

What if you went into your next relationship in a way that wasn’t looking for them to make you feel loved but enter it already loving yourself, enter it looking for someone who also gets this and doesn’t need you to perform a certain way for them to feel loved. 

What if the two of you come together - have so much fun together, and love each other for who you are and who you will be? 

Sounds amazing doesn’t it? 

I don’t know about you but I get so freakin’ inspired when I see couples like this. They give me hope. You know these couples…or maybe you don’t because, honestly, they do seem to be few and far between - but they get so excited to spend time with one another. Yet, they appreciate their differences and even celebrate them, and always celebrate each other. 

So whether you are about to enter your amazing next phase of life that won’t include a partner or will include a partner, How well do you know you? How much do you love you? Fall in lo ve with you and what is there to be concerned about. Partner or not? You’ve made it further than most people in this lifetime. And why wouldn’t you love yourself? You are amazing! 

00:12:38

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?

In my last episode, guest Barbara Decker stopped by. She has released her interview with me on her podcast: Live Well and Fully - you’ll find me on episode 5. Barbara has incredible guests on her show so take a listen to her other episodes as well!  

Something fun that happened - is that when Barbara and I met online for the interview, we discovered that we live within driving distance from one another. We met up for breakfast recently and that was so much fun! 

The amazing humans that I have been able to meet through this podcast and work has been incredible. 

Of course, I’m here, on this podcast every month, and I’m so thankful for your time listening to this podcast.

00:13:34

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments, and then also do the deeper work, as needed. The top of your toolbox should be stocked with your go-to resources for when you need assistance getting through the next moment or day type of times… the bottom of your toolbox is for resources for deeper level work - these are things that take a little more time and you wouldn’t have time to do in an emergency. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have the things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time because sometimes things that worked for you two years ago or a month ago, just won’t work any longer.

Today’s resource is A Universe Do It List, or AUDIT.

I first heard mention of this in an Abraham-Hicks video. It was shared that Esther Hicks would write down on a page a special to-do list. 

This list would be on a page turned sideways - imagine it in landscape mode- with a vertical line down the center creating two columns. At the top of the two columns the title would be on the left: To Do - Me and the title on the right would be To Do - Universe. 

For me, a lover of lists and also someone who likes to write things down, I decided to try this. 

I started this on a whim and thought I’d do it for a few days, but I’ve now been doing this for over a month and it is a bit of a game-changer - at least it’s been for me. 

So, if you’d like to give it a try, here are a few things to keep in mind, or to try:

  • For the right side column, while I use To do - Universe… that word (universe) should be replaced by whatever/whomever you find comfort in when you're alone - be it God, Spirit, Jesus or something else. This list is for you and should be a word that works for you.
  • Next, I’ve been doing these daily, so left column, for me,  are simple things I have to do that day - like a 3-6 point bullet list of things such as - make dr appointment, go to work, clean something - those types of things - usually straight-forward, things that do not need a lot of thinking or processing time but I really need to do today.
  • Then, anything else on my mind that is for future projects or plans, thoughts that take up my mental energy, those things I place on the right side. Allowing myself to let them go for now.
  • You may find that’s enough and might throw the paper away at that point.
  • What I’ve found I like to do is I take the list and fold it in half so I only see the TO DO - Me side. And on days when I can easily have that with me, I keep it with me. I use it to write notes on and cross off the things I’ve done. I decided to hold on to them for a little bit because I’ve found it incredibly fun to go back and look at things from 2-3 weeks ago that I put on that right column. Almost all of them easily resolved when the time was right - and by writing them down, I didn’t feel like I had to give them mental energy in the meantime. 
  • I shared this with my clients and they came back loving this activity - and each for different reasons. One of them asked me what I call this tool. And I hadn’t even thought of it - because I got it from someone else - but as I was assembling this episode, the word AUDIT came to mind. 

AUDIT - A- U-D-I-T stands for A Universe Do It List

I realize that won’t work for you if you use something other than Universe in that right column, but I’m going to go with AUDIT. It feels right. The reminder to audit what you actually have the ability to do in a day's time - or whatever length of time you are using for your AUDIT, that is powerful. 

While I’ve been using this daily, I initially thought it was a top of the toolbox item. What I’m finding is that the more I use it consistently its become a  bottom of the toolbox item as it allows me to consider the things that I’m meant to focus on - freeing up time for me to enjoy who I am in my day ahead. And learn a lot about myself. It’s been so much fun. 

00:18:07

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

I believe in the power of laughter for a quick reset when needed, and this is why I include this section within my monthly episodes.

I know I’ve mentioned before how much I love the show Taskmaster. Without fail, there is always a moment where I laugh out loud. Their official YouTube channel has some outtakes from seasons: super fun. I’ve linked Series 14 Outtakes - Part 2 on YouTube in the show notes. Enjoy that video or any of the content on the Taskmaster channel, if you need a laugh.

00:18:44

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My Parents Knew

Today I welcome guest Cindy Muchnick, co-author of one of my favorite books for parents of teens: The Parent Compass. It’s an amazing book. Where I encourage you to transition into becoming a coach to your children, Cindy uses the word consultant. 

Knowing that, it’s not so shocking why I love The Parent Compass so very much. I am thrilled that Cindy shared an audio with us for this podcast answering the question: What do you wish every parent knew? 

00:19:19

This is Cindy Muchnick, co author of The Parent Compass, navigating your teens wellness and academic journey in today's competitive world. Here's what I wish every parent knew:

Look at the teen or tween that you have in front of you, and appreciate them for who they are, not for the child you're trying to inauthentically create. 

What do I mean by that? 

Look at this student, look at this person, look at this teen human and allow them to make the choices that they want to make in the interest that they have; in the courses that they want to take; in the mistakes that they make along the way. And appreciate them for who they are. You had your turn to be a teenager. And now it's their turn. 

You can be there to guide them shoulder to shoulder but not as their manager fixing and micromanaging more as a consultant that offers advice and support when needed when asked for and appreciate that teenager for who they are. That means lock into what their interests are. 

If you have a teen who's interested in the stock market, ask them questions about it. If you have a teen that's interested in fantasy football, ask them about it. Learn more about it. If you have a teen that's interested in flying the trapeze, then learn more about that to be interested in what excites them and appreciate them for who they are as individuals, not carbon copies of you. Not some person that is your trophy, but a human being who is figuring out life and trying to navigate the best they can with you as their cheerleader.

I couldn’t love this more than I do. Well said, Cindy. 

My listener, if you haven’t already checked out the book, The Parent Compass, please do! And if you need some assistance figuring out who you are as you adjust to your new parenting role, the C.E.O. Training Team may be the perfect place for you!

00:21:13

Two Questions for You

Question 1: Do you know who you are? 

 and Question 2: Do you love who you are? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoyed this episode, please don’t forget to share it with others; it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience.  Also, don’t forget to follow this podcast - Your Empty Nest Coach - in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home.

All the links and resources I mentioned, you’ll find in the episode’s show notes. 

I’ll be back in December with a new episode. Enjoy the days leading up to the holiday season - they are just as important as the holiday itself - and there are more of those anyway.  

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:22:16

[bloopers]

00:22:51

Still Listening?

I love that you have made time for you today by listening to this episode. Should you be new here, know that there are over 160 other episodes waiting for your ears. If you aren’t new here, thank you for your continued support.

If you are wondering about the C.E.O. Training Team, this is for those of you who are looking for a little bit more than the podcast. I have weekly resources for you - Monday sessions called power hours - where you can pop in for a reset in a group setting, and get a little group coaching if we have the time. Your membership includes four 15-minute private coaching sessions (with me) to get you started, and much much more. 

Just for listening to the end of this episode, I’ve created a coupon titled PodcastThankYou use this on check out to receive a generous $50 credit toward your new CEO Training Team membership. That code is PodcastThankYou no spaces, and each word is capitalized to start - you’ll find that in the show notes. 

Use it soon as it’s only guaranteed for the first ten people who use it.

I’d love for you to join us!

[end music]

[end]

164: Empty Nest Success – The Power of Mini Escapes in Life & Guest Barbara Decker has a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction 💚

164: Empty Nest Success - The Power of Mini Escapes in Life & Guest Barbara Decker has a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

This is a packed episode with a variety of topics: 

  • The Power of Mini Escapes (resets) in life
  • Some Thoughts on Meditation
  • Guest Barbara Decker shares a message for Parents of Someone with an Addiction
  • What elixir have I tried that so far is a game-changer? 
  • A Special Offer to Join the C.E.O. Training Team to Empty Nest Success
  • And more!

All the details are below if you'd like to jump around. 

Have a thought-noticing and beautiful month ahead:  be curious about your thoughts and how they make you feel. There is an incredible amount of power there. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The more you can take care of yourself - physically and emotionally, the more you will be able to show up for your child. ... Consider your dreams, notice your thoughts and emotions - notice them with love and curiosity."

Listen now or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies are below, too! Please scroll down 🔽to see them all! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

Ep. 164 of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast includes topics: the power of a mini escape, meditation, guest Barbara Decker stops by & more!  🎙️ #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #midlifemom #resets #parentrecoveryadvocate #barbaradecker

Tweet about this

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 01:16   Quick Reminders
  • 01:52  My Wish For You Today - Consider Everything
  • 03:21  New Things: Out of My Routine (travel), Quick Takes episodes
  • 04:15  Magic Mind
  • 07:08 My Lessons Learned: The Power of Mini-Escapes From Your Life
  • 13:41 Ask Coach Christine: What Can You Do to Prepare And Make the Most of Your Emerging Adult Being Away or Leaving Home? 
  • 14:55  Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 15:59  What's In Your Life's Toolbox? Meditation
  • 18:07  Let's Find the Funny - Snapchat Filters at The Louvre
  • 18:29  What I Wish My Parents Knew - Guest Barbara Decker (Parents of Someone with an Addiction)
  • 21:13  Two Questions For You
  • 22:29 bloopers 😆
  • 22:38 Still listening?  - C.E.O. Training Team Information & Offer

Episode Questions For You To Consider

  1. What life reset (new or usual) can you consider planning for in the near future?
  2. Have you viewed a child’s addiction in the way that Barbara frames it here?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 164

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #164. If this isn't your first time listening and you want to skip the introduction portion feel free to tap forward a couple of times. In this podcast, I focus on helping parents who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though; all are welcome here, as I’m focused on coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life, and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. 

Here we go..

[up beat music]

00:00:47

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:1:16

Before we dive in - a special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass. SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. Register today for a free account to unlock a sampling of those resources -  head over to  EmptyNestSuccess.com - where you may also support this podcast, join the C.E.O. Training Team, or purchase other premium content.

Want to know more about the C.E.O. Training team? I’ll share more at the tail end of this episode. 

If you are looking for something specific or would like to hop around within this episode, you’ll find time markers in the show notes.

00:01:52

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you are able to consider everything. The beautiful thing about our journey in this life is that we are ever-changing. We aren’t the same person we were a week ago, a month ago, a year ago - and well, you get the idea. Things that we might have said no-way to years ago may now be worth considering again. No, definitely not all things - some things have been let go of for healthy reasons - but don’t be surprised if things periodically pop back in your life - whether a relationship, a job, a living situation, a hobby, or something else. 

Considering something doesn’t mean you have to do it, it doesn’t mean you have to like it. What is fun is to see if and potentially how you have changed in your thought-process, if at all. By considering things you get to dive a little deeper in who you are now - and isn’t that worth a few minutes of time? 

Whether you reconsider something and quickly know that no, you haven’t changed your thoughts on that, OR whether you now see things in a different way - it all in the end - means whatever you make it mean. Let it mean something fun, let it mean self-exploration, let it mean discovery. You don’t have to force it; merely consider it. 

00:03:20

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

It's been a month of adventure for me that that hat included a cross-country flight over a long weekend - wow, the jet lag really took its toll on me the rest of the week I returned - AND then just as I was almost feeling myself, a close friend flew into town for a week - and the almost three weeks of continuous being out of my routine has been a fantastic reset - one of those resets where you have had an amazing time but a week of the usual routine, doing laundry and catching up sounds kind of great right now. 

Isn’t it funny how we do these things to escape our usual routine and then when we are away from them, we might discover how much some of those things bring comfort to our life? 

I also tested three Quick Take episodes last month - they were a fun experiment but I think those will be the exception, rather than the rule. 

00:04:15

The newest thing that I don’t want to forget to share with you is the company Magic Mind reached out to me and invited me to become a Magic Maker. I didn’t really know what that meant but know that I am not one to share things with you that I don’t absolutely love so I requested a sample which I tried this past week, and oh my goodness, so far I really do love this one. So much that I might have begged for a few more samples AND I also placed my own order. I can’t wait ‘til my next package arrives! 

If you are like me of two weeks ago and have never heard of Magic Mind, I’d like to share a teeny tiny bit about it with you today - you can read more on their website! My sample arrived this week and I’ll be honest, I had done NO research. It arrived in the most adorable packaging with three fun bottles (or shots) of this incredible elixir that really did feel a bit magical.  I had made the incorrect assumption that this was a coffee replacement. It isn’t. With all of my recent traveling and projects, I had been sleeping in, not posting on socials and I was up to three cups of coffee a day, and that is not so great for me. 

After reading the information that arrived with the samples, I discovered it’s meant to be taken with your coffee  - or if you aren’t a coffee drinker - you can use Magic Mind all on its own. The first day, I DID brace myself a bit on as this is a green drink and I’ve tried more than my fair share of green beverages - Let’s be honest, good taste isn’t always included. But much to my surprise, I did enjoy the taste! 

This elixir put a pep in my step, helped me to be way more focused and kept my energy levels steady throughout the day - I even slept better and got to the end of my days surprised that that first cup of coffee in the morning was all I needed.    

I’m adding Magic Mind to the top of my C.E.O. Toolbox, but honestly, it may move right into a permanent space in the bottom of my toolbox - it does seem that good! 

Don’t worry, though, I’m not going to leave you hanging. I’ll provide an update next month and let you know how it’s all going. I’ve been making a video diary of the experience too.  

I invite you to join me in this experiment! Magic Mind have given me a 20% off code to share with you: it’s FEELAMAZING20. To use it, visit magicmind.co slash FEELAMAZING and enter the code FEELAMAZING20 - all caps - at checkout. Of course, you’ll find this information in my show notes. Magic Mind does have a money back guarantee AND if you get the subscription it's 40% off right now - that’s the one I signed up for! But know that 40% code only lasts 10 days, so don’t miss out on it. If you do order through my link and would like to share your experience on my next episode, let me know!  

00:07:08

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

[inspirational music plays under this segment]

The power of mini-escapes from our life. 

What is your normal day-to-day life like? For some of us, it is highly structured - alarm wakes us up and we do things non-stop until our head hits the pillow. For others of us, it’s a bit more chillax - where we have our top three things to get done this week and we’re happy. And that relaxed pace is our routine. 

There is no right or wrong here, by the way. You aren’t worth more as a human on this planet because you did more things today. For some of us the busy-ness is our happy place. For others the busy-ness robs us of joy. Your ability to be busy or not busy is for you to figure out, to know what level of activity allows you to find the most joy in your life. And that level probably won’t match others in your life. I want you to know that that is okay. 

What I really want to discuss, and it is related, is the power of breaking out of our normal routines to allow us to see the routines of our life with fresh eyes. 

For some of this us, this takes a large vacation. For others, it is a staycation but with no plans. It doesn’t have to take a huge amount of time for your reset to engage either, but enough time to feel like you were able to step away. 

I’ve found local things that provide this for me - heading to a campsite for a few hours to create a campfire and stare at the logs; or popping into a local casino with only $20 to spend to see how long it lasts. This one might be for me, due to the Vegas trips I did when I was younger - and I enjoy the game of craps - but five minutes in a casino and I feel like I’ve walked into another dimension - talk about a reset. And if you aren’t new here, you know that walks in a forest help me too. I have found that, personally,  I need a minimum of 30 minutes solo to get the most out of those but when I make that happen regularly, it’s a game-changer. 

YOU don’t need to have a campfire; a walk in the woods, or to go to a casino. BUT what I do recommend is that you find an activity or activities - or maybe it's people that allow you to feel a bit of a reset from your life.

And I encourage you that it doesn’t have to be a full vacation. That might not be a financial possibility for you right now - but don’t let that stop you from being creative here.

Most of us know that time away from things and people helps us to appreciate what we have, and see them in a new light. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all. 

What I find continuously fascinating is how I change in my response to things, as I mature and change. Not only in my daily routines but also in my resets. 

I recently confirmed that for me right now solo travel, when I’m able to do it is fantastic for me. My trip to California, I didn’t have one moment where I wished, “Oh I wish I had someone to join me,” in what I’m doing. 

I love the people in my life, but I also love my alone time. On that trip I got to speak at a school, made new friends, did things that I found locals had never done, and I really enjoyed stepping off the plane with no plans for seven hours. I seriously got in my rental car, looked up the nearest beach in Google Maps and my adventure began. 

If you notice too, I said that “right now solo travel is fantastic for me.” 

I can absolutely imagine a day where I will want to experience travel with a travel partner but until then I’m going to enjoy where I am and what I am doing fully. 

And whether I’m in my reset or in my routine, I have the opportunity to learn more about myself. There were things about my trip that I thought I wouldn’t really love but found, actually, they were exactly what I needed - and also the opposite happened. 

I returned home to jet lag that I had never experienced at that level before - and this is where I remember…hmmm… I am not 20, so maybe going right from the airport, taking a shower, and working isn’t the best choice for me. I’ll be honest, I knew that was going to be a tough one, but I wanted to try. I did. And now I know more.

Then going right into a somewhat staycation where a friend visited me, I was able to see where I live in a new light - someone who loves the cool air and seeing the changing leaves for fall - their excitement really reminded me how lovely where I live is. 

Then returning to the usual routine, provides so much internal knowledge: what are the things I love, what are the things I don’t love and are those things I can change? Why or why not? 

To be honest, I’ve had a few surprises hit me about who I am and who I want to be over the next few years. Some of the ideas I have are in direct opposition to goals that I have had for the last few years. I’m going to have some fun playing with those thoughts in the days and weeks ahead.

I share all these thoughts and ideas with you because sometimes it helps to hear other people go through the changes and the reconsideration. It would have been easy for me to keep on keeping on because that’s what I said I’d do - but when you’ve been through as many changes as I have over the last couple of years, honestly, what’s one more? Also, I may process this all out and still keep on keeping on, in the end. 

Either way, I’m going to have a great time figuring it out because it is this - the now - the day to day stuff where I get to fully live life. Isn’t it fascinating how when we get to do the things we’ve been striving for for a long time that we then discover new things about ourselves and new goals? After all, the finish line for one thing is the starting line for our next adventure. 

Analogy wise, this kind of has that love it or list it vibe - you know you do the thing that isn’t in your normal and then find that with some changes you are perfectly happy where you are. Or, you discover, yep,   time to move is here. 

I encourage you to consider it all. Have fun with the thoughts that pop up. You don’t have to keep any of them - especially if they don’t make you feel good - let those go. But the ones - the thoughts - that make you curious, that allow you to dream a bit more - try leaning into those.  Whether it is during your reset or your routine. Both are important. 

00:13:41

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, what things can I do to prepare and make the most of my emerging adult being away or leaving home? 

The more you can take care of yourself - physically and emotionally, the more you will be able to show up for your child. This  is a great time to begin to consider and prepare your CEO Life’s Toolbox items. I have episodes about those - I’ll put them in the show notes. Consider your dreams, notice your thoughts and emotions - notice them with love and curiosity. 

Taking care of you allows you to provide the space for your emerging adult to be who they are. Love them fully, when they share things and you feel strong emotions, take a pause.  Consider the relationship you want with them in ten years and begin to build that now - showing up slowly for them as a coach, not just a parent. 

On another note, for those of you who are about to have your child return home for a bit, remember that they’re different from the person that has left. I have more resources on that that I’ve shared over time and I’ll, again, have those in the show notes. 

00:14:55

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins

I remembered to post a video to collect wins this month, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a ton of notice before I needed to hit record.  However, I had a few amazing women jump in to share their wins on Instagram

Katherine of the5KiloTraveller shares: My book is with beta readers and I’m getting helpful and lovely feedback. After 2 years of writing it's amazing to be at this point. 🎤

RamonaWildeman shared: I hiked two times this week and cycled two times as well. 🎤

And Lady Katricia shares: I woke up happy today. 🎤

[cheers]  

I love all of these so much!

If you want your win included next time, be sure to follow me on Instagram or TikTok and comment on the next Celebrate Your Win video that I post - be sure to add a microphone emoji so I know I have your permission to share your win with my listeners. Remember: wins big and small we celebrate them all. I can’t wait to cheer you on!

00:15:59

[computer game level up music (short)]

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

Your C.E.O. Toolbox is the analogy we use here for items and resources that help you get through tough moments, enjoy the amazing moments, and then also do the deeper work as needed. Your C.E.O. Toolbox is yours. It should have the things that work for you, and you should take inventory from time to time because sometimes things that worked well for you two years ago or a month ago, just aren’t working any longer.

Let’s talk about meditation. 

Are you someone who can easily meditate? I have never had this come easy for me. I’d like to offer the idea that meditation doesn’t need to look a certain way. I have found I am most meditative when I’m in the forest alone and can focus on the sounds and details of my environment. 

Recently, I tried listening to 15-minutes of sounds - I even created one for myself: I posted it on YouTube - it’s of rain, and I’m going to make a few more as time allows. As you know, I don’t share things with you that I haven’t tried myself.  

I found, though, that as listening to this - that the rain sounds isn’t enough - my mind still stays really active. 

One day I had paper and a pen nearby while I was listening to the sounds - I picked it up and started scribbling while listening to the sound, and suddenly I found that my mind was able to clear in a way I never experienced before. 

I’m sure if you walked in seeing me do this, I can only imagine what ideas would go through your head but it works for me! For you it might be multiple sounds at once, or decluttering your house that bring you to a level of meditation. 

I encourage you to release expectations and to play around a bit: maybe pull out some playdough or paint and listen to some bird sounds - you never know what combination will allow your mind to quiet. 

But when you find it, you’ll know. It’s really good stuff. Be creative, have fun and let me know if you find something unexpected that works for you! 

00:18:07

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

I believe in the power of laughter for a quick reset and this is why I include this section within my monthly episodes.

So, this week I’m sharing in the show notes that there was a TikTok circulating recently where someone went to the Louvre and added snapchat filters on the art. What a riot. If you need a giggle - link is in the show notes.  

00:18:29

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My Parents Knew

Today I welcome guest Barbara Decker: Parent Recovery Advocate, a Certified Family Recovery Specialist (CFRS) and founder of Live Well and Fully. Barbara recently interviewed me for one of her upcoming podcast episodes and we had a great time chatting - same energy, positivity and the work she does is incredibly valuable. 

I am thrilled that Barbara shared an audio with us for this podcast answering the question: As a mother of someone with an addiction, what would you like other parents to know?

00:19:05 

As the mother of someone with an addiction, there are some things I'd like other parents to know, the most important thing is that addiction is a disease. It's not a choice in the way you and I normally think of choices. It is a disease, just like asthma and diabetes, and cancer, etc, are diseases. And as such, there are treatment options. So I'd like parents to know that this is not a choice your child is making to behave, the way they're behaving, it is a disease that they have. And then I'd like to share with you the three things your child would like you to know. These are things they may not be able to say to you, but it's important that you know them because they're true. 

Number one: it's not your fault. It really isn't your fault. Even if your child is telling you over and over and over that everything you do is your fault. It's not your fault. That's the disease speaking. 

Thing Number two: they are filled with shame and guilt, they may not present that way to you. But that is how they feel. Inside they feel like terrible human beings who are incapable of being successful in life. 

And the third thing I'd like you to know, because they want you to know is you cannot fix your son or daughter. Only they can change their lives. Only they can decide that they don't want to live this way anymore and take the action they need to take in order to make a change.  There are things you as the parent can do to encourage them to choose a different path for themselves. And it's not easy and it takes work and it's possible. To learn more about the work that we do with the moms changing the moms, not the kids, visit www.LiveWellAndFully.com and find yourself a pocket of joy today because you are so worth it.

You can learn more about the incredible work that Barbara does on her website - please share widely!

00:21:13

Two Questions for You

Question 1: What life reset (new or usual) can you consider planning for in the near future? 

and Question 2: Have you viewed a child’s addiction in the way that Barbara frames it here? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy[ed] this episode, please don’t forget to share it with others; it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Also, don’t forget to follow this podcast - Your Empty Nest Coach - in your favorite podcast player - or register for a free account in the empty nest success home. If you enjoy emails in your inbox, consider joining my Thursday Thoughts about email list: I’ll pop in your inbox with a thought and updates on most Thursdays. It’s a great way to stay connected with all things Your Empty Nest Coach. 

All the links and resources I mentioned, you’ll find in the episode’s show notes. 

I’ll be back in November with a new full episode.

My empty nest or future-empty nest friend, don’t you dare forget that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[end music] 

00:22:29

[bloopers]

00:22:38

Still Listening?

I love that you have made time for you today by listening to this episode. Should you be new here, know that there are over 160 other episodes waiting for your ears. If you aren’t new here, thank you for your continual support.

If you are wondering about the C.E.O. Training Team, this is for those of you who are looking for a little bit more than the podcast. I have weekly resources for you - Monday sessions called power hours - where you can pop in for a reset in a group setting, and get a little group coaching if we have the time. Your membership includes four 15-minute private coaching sessions (with me) to get you started, and much much more. 

Just for listening to the end of this episode, I’ve created a coupon titled PodcastThankYou use this on check out to receive a generous $50 credit toward your new CEO Training Team membership. That code is PodcastThankYou no spaces, and each word is capitalized to start - you’ll find that in the show notes. 

Use it soon as it’s only guaranteed for the first ten people who use it.

I’d love for you to join us!

[end music]

[end]

111: Christine, My Child Isn’t in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

111: Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Believe it or not, non-empty-nest humans listen to my podcast!

What?

Yep!

Since I create these episodes with someone in mind who isn't quite yet in the empty nest, this makes sense! Sure, many of my examples are empty nest specific, but you can change them to apply to your current circumstance.  Empty nest or not, thanks for listening, my beautiful friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... the lessons I teach are life lessons. Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only seven years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙No empty nest? You can still listen to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast! You don't even have to tell anyone. 😉 Empty Nest or not, this is good stuff! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #NoEmptyNest #YouCanListen 💚

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Why It Makes Sense That Not-So-Empty-Nesters Enjoy My Podcast
  • If This is You, How to Choose Specific Episodes

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Is the empty nest part of your life at the moment?
  2. Do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 111 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and today I answer the question; Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me?  And this is episode number 111.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  What amazingness are you up to, today?  I’d love for you to share it with me.  Visit me over on Instagram @emptynestcoach or send me an email: podcast@youremptynestcoach.com and tell me what amazingness you are up to, and this is your amazingness.  You could have finished writing a novel, or you could have managed to get out of bed despite not wanting to.  We celebrate all wins here, and I get excited when you win.  So don’t hesitate to share them with me.  Woo hoo!  Let’s do this. 

00:01:28

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:17

Someone reached out to me recently for some help with empty nesting, and made the mention “but my child isn’t in college.”  We talked back and forth a bit and hopefully she found my insight helpful.  So here’s the thing, I do have a lot of episodes focused on college, and this is why: if I can catch some of you mamas before you hit the super empty nest permanent years, and am able to help you prepare for the transition, then I feel like I will have been able to assist not only you, but also your child or children, and potentially others in the house.  If you are feeling peaceful about where you are as your child leaves, then you will be able to enjoy the moments leading up to it more. 

00:02:59

Now, all that being said, the lessons I teach are life lessons.  Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only 7 years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you.  If your child left two, ten or twenty years ago, and you're still having some trouble adjusting, I’m here for you.  Here’s the underlying message I want you to hear; I’m here for you.  Guess what? If you are a father, I’m here for you!

00:03:34

Most of my episodes that are specific to college are labeled appropriately in the title.  You may find many of my examples are around college situations, but adjust the who, what and when to your own life, and see how that works for you. And if you would like to give me an example for future episode topics, I’m always open to your ideas.  I’m creating this for you, anyway.  Well, to be perfectly honest, part of me creates it for my daughter, too, should I not be on this earth when she hits these years.  And also, while I don’t listen to every episode back all the time, but sometimes when I’m stuck on something, I’ll go, wait, I did an episode on this, and I’ll find that it’s actually crazy helpful.  Isn’t that weird?  When you think about it, I create an episode motivated by my future self. My future self then goes back and gains insight from my past self.  Whoa.  It might be a little bit too much?

00:04:32

Anyway, back to college or not. In the end, all of us, mother, or not a mother, young or old, rich or poor, are left alone with our thoughts, and our thoughts about the happenings in our life have more power than most of us realize.  I talk about this in my episodes, of course, and it is the underlying principle in all that I teach, so if you are a single 35-year-old male who enjoys my podcast, thanks for listening.  If you are a 65-year-old woman who entered empty nesting 15 years ago and is still figuring out how to navigate it all, thanks for listening.

00:05:09

Adjust the examples as needed, pick the episodes as needed,  and I would love to know that you are listening.  Send me a message, you’ll make my day.  I guess you could be wondering if you are welcome in our GPS Support Flock. Honestly, if you like this podcast then yes, of course! You are welcome to join! In the flock, I am able to assist with accountability, I’ll cheer you on and I have a place where you can ask anonymous questions.  Have a question? Just let me know!

[Music] 

00:05:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, is the empty nest part of your life at this moment?  And two, do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

[Music]

00:05:49

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lankester here, Midlife Mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com.  My top tip today is to remember what you’re told on the airplane.  Always tend to your own mask first, before helping someone else.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll do a pretty poor job of looking after anyone else.

[Music]

00:06:12

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information on how to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  Well, that’s a wrap.  Guess what?  You are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:06:55

Still listening?  As I gather my thoughts for this script, it is August 29, of 2020. Our world just lost the beautiful, creative  soul of Chadwick Boseman from his battle with colon cancer. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage III at age 38.  So, it’s about the same age.  Working through the treatments is no joke. People do it; so many people we’ll never know about, and some you’ll know everything about.  It sucks.  Cancer sucks.  Death sucks.  I mention Chadwick Boseman and colon cancer, today, because, well any time colon cancer is in the news, it hits home for our family.  And please don’t think for a minute that you can’t get it because you aren’t older than 50, obviously, it happens, so don’t ignore symptoms. Get to your doctor if you have any doubts and trust your gut if you feel something isn’t right. I’ll link to resources on colon cancer in my show notes. 

[Music]

[End]


110: How are you doing with 2020❓

110: How are you doing with 2020❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

How are you doing? Let's check in. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity.  An opportunity to hide, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to rise to the challenge, and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves -  to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares an activity you can do when your mental energy is being drained. 💚 Grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Challenges as Opportunities
  • An Activity to do When You Feel Your Mental Energy is Being Drained
  • To Consider Transferring Your Thoughts Onto Paper

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How are you handling 2020?
  2. Has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises to you?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 110 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi!  I am Coach Christine and you are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast.  This is episode number 110 and I’ve titled it “How Are You Doing With 2020.”  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of your life! If this is your first time here, CEO in my world stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  Doesn’t that sound lovely?  This episode is going live at the end of August in 2020, and if you are listening to it right around that time, I want to say that I hope from the bottom of my heart that your family is healthy and safe.  I walk through an exercise to help you when you can’t seem to get out of a funk, if you will, in today’s episode.  If you want to share anything with me or my listeners, I always invite you to share your thoughts, or life tips, with us.  You may do this either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course,  I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 110 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P110)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:03

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:45

My beautiful, amazing friend, how are you doing?  No, really, how are you doing?  Most of us started 2020 ready to take on the world.  We had goals, plans, things to look forward to, and now, well, your goals may have been put on hold, your health may not be great, your plans may have all been canceled, your things to look forward to might have been, too.  How are you doing with all of that?  Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity; an opportunity to hide; an opportunity to grow; an opportunity to rise to the challenge; and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves, to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes; an opportunity to live in the now, the present moment; or to run from it, thinking that we’ll be able to escape from what is by looking toward what isn’t yet or what could-have-been.

00:03:53

If you are doing well, I want you to pat yourself on the back. No, really, I mean it. After you pat yourself on the back, reach out to someone today, by phone, video call, email or from six feet away, who may not be doing so well. Share your wellness and energy with them by spending time with them.  If you aren’t doing well, are you feeling like you are in a bit of a funk? Well, that is certainly understandable, and no one is going to fault you. Now, while one episode of this podcast isn’t a cure all by any means, after all, I have a membership program and a lot of episodes that slowly cover topics to help you, but today I want to offer an exercise to use when you feel like you are stuck in a bit of a funk. Maybe you have already worked through your feelings, or you know what you are feeling but you can’t seem to get to the other side. In that case, let’s give yourself permission to let go of the feeling for a few minutes and start there. 

00:04:54

Start by asking yourself what is my biggest pain point?  Am I mourning something?  Am I angry that people aren’t behaving the way I expect them to?  Am I upset with myself that I’ve gained some weight through all of this?  What is it for you?  On an ideally, blank piece of paper, write down your top area of focus right now.  Then write three emotions that come with that focus.  As you write down the thing that is taking your mental energy right now, I’d like you to imagine as if the emotions are going through your writing utensil, or your fingers, should you choose to do this on a keyboard, and let the emotions fall out onto the paper.  Got it?  Using your imagination, let that area of focus move to the paper, along with the three emotions you have identified.  Now, turn the paper over.

00:05:51

For five minutes, I want you to imagine what your life is like without that focus and those emotions.  Don’t worry about why you aren’t focused on it.  Don’t concern yourself with the fact that things haven’t been resolved with it.  It is five minutes.  It isn’t going anywhere and guess what, you wrote it down on the paper and will remember it when you turn it back over.  This allows you to imagine for five minutes who you are without that emotional energy.  Take five minutes to be present; to take in sounds, colors, smells, and beauty that you hadn’t seen when your focus was different.  Only for a few minutes.  Try taking really deep breaths.  I’d like you to look at that time as a transference.  Give that paper your emotions in those moments.  Actually, give me a moment, I’m going to try this out myself. 

[Music] 

00:09:52

Okay, I’m back, and interestingly enough, my five minutes had me away from this computer. The Universe timed it so that my husband and I met in the hallway for a lovely impromptu conversation.  I made my coffee and took time to smell it a bit more.  I was a bit more present as I did all of it.  My timer went off, hubby got it for me, he was upstairs, so I inadvertently gifted myself with some extra time. 

00:10:15

Now that I’m back, I don’t want to turn over the piece of paper at all, and I have more clarity on the work I was about to do on this episode.  I do mention writing our thoughts and feelings down on paper often, because the act of doing it makes us aware of the thought-deliveries that we are allowing to take up space in our mind.  Those take mental energy away from other things.  This is all fine if you are aware of it and know what your mind is focused on, consciously choosing it.  But if you don’t periodically check in on your thought-deliveries, well, if you are a regular listener, you know the drill, then your Protector is bossing you around with them.  What fun is that?  Well, for me, personally, it is no fun at all. 

00:10:57

Now back to you.  After the five minutes, you have options.  I’m not even going to tell you what to do.  I want you to see where you are led.  Trust your instincts here.  You may ignore that piece of paper, or heck, you may turn it over and have a new sense of clarity that you didn’t have five minutes ago.  Let me know how it goes for you. Email me at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com or message me over on Pinterest or Instagram.  You’ll find me on both platforms @emptynestcoach, that’s my podcast title without the “your” in the beginning.  You should know by now that my goal isn’t for you to rely on me, Coach Christine, to have the answers for your life.  I’m here to coach you to find your internal GPS that will navigate you through the journey of your life.  Oh my goodness, I can’t wait until you discover that for yourself!  When you notice your thought-deliveries, train your Protector well and have a good sense of what needs to be in your life’s toolbox, oh, my friend, I’m seriously getting chills just thinking about it. The things you’ll be able to do!

00:12:04

If you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to just cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock!  [Music]  The questions I have for you in this episode are one, how are you handling 2020?  And two, has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises for you?

00:12:31

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you ever considered creating a podcast? A podcasting tip that I submitted was included in a recent article titled “How to Create a (Successful) Podcast Channel: 20+ Expert Tips.”  The link to the full article is in my show notes.  I invite you to check it out!

[Music]

00:12:58

Anne shared the tip you are about to hear with me for the month of August way back at the beginning of the year, before COVID was known about.  She sure thinks ahead!  While colleges your child may be looking at may not have much social life this semester, seeing how they are handling it is a great thing to research. Thanks for sharing your tip with us, Anne! 

00:13:18

Anne:  Hi!  This is Anne from Parent’s Guide to the College Puzzle.  My quick tip for today is if your high school senior’s having trouble paring down the list of colleges to arrange for eight to twelve schools, consider these sometimes overlooked aspects of a college.  Check out the social life.  What is there to do, both on and off campus, when students aren’t in class?  Which colleges offer the intramural sports clubs or volunteer programs your future freshman wants to participate in?  How’s the weather?  If your teen hates snow, they’ll be happier at colleges with milder climates, and the reverse is true.  A student who likes winter sports, will want colleges in places where they can participate in these activities.

00:13:52

Confirm which majors and minors are offered.  If a college doesn’t have the major and any potential majors your student is interested in, take it off the list.  Remember to look at the available minor options, too.  Find out the male to female ratio.  Colleges tend to have more girls than boys, but some campuses are skewed much higher one way or the other.  This might make a difference to your teen.  How big is Greek life?  Sororities and fraternities dominate at some campuses and play a minor role at others.  For kids who have a preference either way, this can be important.  Who else goes there?  Your school’s Naviance account or your student’s guidance counselor can show you the popular colleges among graduates from your high school.  This is helpful if your teen wants to see a familiar face those first weeks on campus, or if they don’t.  Remember the final list of colleges should include two safety schools, two reach schools, and the remainder, target schools.  Good luck!

[Music]

00:14:42

Christine:  Do you have a Quick Tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would love to include it in an upcoming episode.  See my show notes for links to submit your own audio tip.  I am just about done here. But not before I remind you, of course, that you, my beautiful friend, are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

Still listening? 

Have you received a green popsicle stick from me yet? If not, why not? I’m happy to send you one, or three! I have instructions on how to receive your green popsicle stick from me, when you download my free printable: “How To Find Yourself in the Empty Nest” resource. 

[Music]

[End]

[Music]

[End]

109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock 📝

109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock 📝

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

In this podcast episode,  I share a few helpful nuggets from inside the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Empty Nest Success

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Make sure you are your biggest fan."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Coach Christine shares a peek inside the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Empty Nest Success 💚 Remember to be your biggest fan! #EmptyNest  #MidlifePodcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • The Power in Getting to Know Your Future Self
  • Some Words to Say to Yourself As You Work To Discover Your Future Self

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you know your future-self well?
  2. Does your future-self have anything to say to you?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 109 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 109: A Glimpse of Some Tips from Inside Our Empty Nest Flock.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48 

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  So, how has your week been?  I hope that your thoughts about it are positive even when the happenings in your life might not appear to be.  Do you have any wins you would like to share with us?  You know that I would love to hear them, and the other listeners of this podcast may find your win inspiring to them!  If you have a win, or a question to share with me, I invite you to share via audio, either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; On Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button.  Get the idea?  You also may send me an email at podcast    AT   youremptynestcoach.com. Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 109 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P109)  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:53

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:37

An extra thank you to SocalChris who left a five-star review on Apple Podcasts for this podcast.  The review is titled, “Christine is so much fun,” and says, “The cheer and joy just sparkles from Christine’s message through to your earbuds! I enjoy the way she looks positively at some of the hardest experiences we have as our kids become adults.”   Wow, SocalChris, thanks for the 5-star rating and review, and I’m honored you have chosen to listen to my podcast.  What great writing, by the way!

00:03:11

Now for you, my empty nest friend, in this episode, I’m sharing some bites of information that came out of the GPS Support Flock, so you could have a glimpse inside.  My first share came from a group support call.  I do not record for the first 75 percent or so of these calls and then, at the tail end, if we have a session with bites of information worth sharing with everyone, then I record a quick wrap-up call.

00:03:36

In one of these calls, a flock member asked a bit about her future self. My wrap up points were: number one, keep in mind future you.  Figure out who she is, what point in time is she in, a week; five years; ten years?  I like to think of my future-self as pretty far out because she puts this moment, this day into perspective for me.  Usually she says things like, “you won’t even remember this.”  For that reason, I like to look further out on my timeline.  The better you know your future-self (when you figure her out),  the better you really explore who she is, what she is doing, then you can use her for everything else, rather than coming to me.  A flock like this is still fantastic for reminders and to keep you on track, if you need accountability.  For example, we can remind you to check in with your future self.  In the end though, your future self knows you better than I do.  Remember too, it isn’t only about finding your future self, figuring out who they are, and trusting them, the power comes in when you actually access them.  Then you can ask your future self, “How did I handle this?”  You’ll quickly get into the mode she’s already in.  It is great fun!

00:04:57

The other thing I shared is to make sure you are your biggest fan. Be careful that you aren’t beating yourself up with your thoughts. When you do something awesome, celebrate it.  Who cares if your neighbor thinks it’s small.  This is where knowing future-you is helpful.  Maybe you feel funny about patting yourself on the back, but if I consider future me, she says “Thanks for doing that.  You’re doing a great job.  You are more on the path to meet me and discover who I am.  If you don’t do that work, I don’t get to be all I can be.”

00:05:31

Some action items and things to do and ask yourself:  how well do you know future you?  We have things that our future-selves will accomplish, maybe a list, what you think she’s accomplished, but who is the person doing the things on the list?  There is a quick free training I have about “Finding Future You,” available on my website, but the real navigation tool is the “First Steps Toward Success” program that you will find in the GPS Support Flock.  

00:06:00

Give yourself the time needed to discover your future self. 

Who are you, as you are doing that thing that you want to do?  Live in it, in detail, using your imagination, and not just for minutes but for days.  Ask yourself how does this feel different from my current life?  How will that version of me be different from this current version of me?  Then, allow for modifications. If you spend time living in a version of future-you, and find you don’t like who that is, consider it a big win. Knowing what you don’t want to do is incredibly important.

00:06:37

Some action steps to take, one, do the work.  Ask me questions along the way, that’s what this flock is for.  Two, uncover.  Three, then ask yourself, how did I get there?  My listener in a follow up chat that I had with a flock member, about her future self, this is what I told her: you will discover your amazing self again! Try this on for size: I am worth the work I'm doing to discover my amazing self.  She's hiding but I will find her! My imperfection now, as I move forward, drives me closer to my future-self, and each step, forwards, backwards, in slow-motion, or running, has a lesson for me that will allow me to level-up. I'm thankful for all of it.  I'm worth all of this, and the journey is going to be fun.

[Music]

00:07:26

Of course, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock where I have a full workshop on this topic, “Your Future Self.” I have worksheets and more.  The questions I have for you in this episode are, and I know I’ve asked similar questions in earlier episodes, but these are really good questions to ask yourself periodically: one, do you know your future-self well? And, two, does your future-self have anything to say to you?

[Music]

00:08:15

Christine?  Christine?  Christine, where are you?

Have you checked out my Instagram Reels yet? As of this recording, I’m having fun with them.  I don’t know if I’ll keep up with them.  They do take more time than I should allow but my future-self is giggling with me, so it’s all good. If your child listened to a lot of the Wiggles when they were younger, I have one there that you may appreciate.

[Music]

00:08:35

Today, our quick tip is the wrap-up tip that Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveler, from New Zealand, shared with me way back before physical distancing began. So as you check-in with your future self who hopefully is able to travel freely, remember Katherine’s great tips.

00:08:53

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Katherine:  I thought today I would do a recap of what I’ve mentioned so far about traveling light.  So firstly, I asked you to consider the idea of traveling light and being open to it.  Sometimes a new concept can be really out there and challenging.  But I think as empty nesters, we are open to new ideas as our family world is changing.  We need to start looking at what we can do for ourselves.  For me, I talked about taking what you need when you travel light.  I don’t want you traveling and feeling like you’ve left essential things at home.  You have to be comfortable traveling.  I mean, I take my hair straightener so that I feel good about myself.  So remember, this has to work for you.

00:09:43

My next tip was to take less.  My favorite saying is take what you need, but take less of it.  That really is a key concept when traveling light.  Take what you need, but take less of it.  That included packing a travel wardrobe that mixes and matches perfectly, swapping out heavy gear with lighter options and reducing your toiletries and cosmetics by putting them in smaller containers.

00:10:15

Then I talked about wearing your heavy or bulky gear on the plane.  Although, hopefully, after listening to the previous episode, you would have swapped those heavy items with lighter things.  Even so, you’ve got to wear something on the flight, so why not the gear that takes up the most room in your bag?  Finally, I talked about Merino and Smartwool, and my endeavor to single-handedly promote the New Zealand wool industry.  My sheep farming brother would be very impressed with me.  But seriously, Merino, with all its great qualities, is the perfect fabric when traveling light, so be open to the idea of traveling light.  Take what you need, but take less of it.  Wear your heavier or bulkier gear on your flight, and consider Merino or Smartwool.  So many ideas and so many more to follow.  Happy light travels.

[Music]

00:11:10

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  And with that, I wish you a beautiful, Conscious, Effective Olympian-esque day and week ahead for you, my empty nest friend.  You should already know this, but you are amazing! 

[Bloopers]

00:11:46

Still listening?  Thanks for being you, for listening and for checking your thoughts. You are not only improving your own life but indirectly you are an example to others. Keep being amazing, my empty nest friend!

[Music]

[End]

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 Featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, Author and a Family Physician Focused on College Student Health

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, MD

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

If your child is scheduled to head back to campus in four to six weeks, you may have questions about how to best prepare for campus during COVID.

In this episode, I have great fun chatting with Dr. Jill about this topic. We talk about forms, checklists, favorite chapters of her new book, and so much more!

Her book, The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook, Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness, is the perfect reference book for both you and your child. I give it my five happy chick rating, and I invite you to  listen to the full episode. 

We created the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist! Click here or the image below to print your copy now. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Podcast episode!🎙 Is your college student heading back to campus in a few weeks? @JillGrimesMD and @emptynestcoach have some tips for you! 💚 #CollegeParent #EmptyNest #CollegeLife #CollegeStudent #FallSemester #BackToCampus

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Learn how Dr. Jill became an author and an on-campus health provider
  • What forms Dr. Jill plans to complete ahead of time for her college-aged daughters
  • Student health care center tips and advice
  • The moment we came up with the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist
  • And more!

Where to Find Dr. Jill Grimes Online

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you picked up Dr. Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?   
  2. What question do you wish I had asked Dr. Jill?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 103 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for a Different Campus. This is Part 2 of 2, featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, author, and a family physician focused on college student health. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:00

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! In this episode, I welcome Dr. Jill Grimes to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am crazy excited to have her here. I have read her book: “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness.” It is fabulous. I’m going to keep the copy I have for myself and pick up another one for my daughter. Yes, it’s that good. Speaking of my daughter, I asked her to take a look at my copy of Dr. Jill’s book. My daughter’s comment was, “This book will be great to have in my dorm room, especially as a peer RA, as residents may have concerns that I don’t know anything about.”

00:01:46 

Well done, Dr. Jill, on creating one of the few resources that when I shared with my daughter, I didn’t get the “Okay, Mom” eye roll. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.  No, my friend, I’m not immune to it either.

 

00:02:01

Dr. Jill Grimes is a nationally recognized medical media expert, award-winning author, medical editor, and Board-Certified Family Physician.  Her passion is prevention.  After two decades of private practice, Dr. Grimes now enjoys seeing patients part-time at the University of Texas in Austin.  What you, my listener will be interested in is that she is also a proud mom to two awesome collegiate daughters.

00:02:29

I don’t think I could find a more perfect guest for this podcast at this particular time.  My daughter’s scheduled to head back to college in four weeks, so this is timely for me, as well.  Dr. Jill’s book is a wonderful reference book containing topics such as sunscreen, tattoos, hangovers, the “missing” tampon, nose bleeds, and so much more.  You know that first aid kit I mentioned in the last episode?  Dr. Jill’s book has a Bonus Section about your DIY First Aid Kit.  You have to check it out for yourself.  I give this book my highest rating, five happy chicks! 

 

00:03:09

At the end of this episode, I’m also going to give you a couple of follow up things that Dr. Jill and I talked about offline after the recording.  She has a blog, media interviews and more on her website, so I encourage you to dive into those to learn more about amazing Dr. Jill.  Also, if you find you wish I asked her other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them in as an audio message or email, and we’ll see if we can get them answered on an upcoming episode!  I’ll be asking her a handful or so of questions today.

 

00:03:40 

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 103 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P103). I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:04:30

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:05:16

Christine:  Welcome to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, Dr. Jill Grimes.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much for having me.  I’m thrilled to be here.

Christine:  I’m thrilled to have you here today, and I love that your daughter is the illustrator of your book.  Now, was that something that you had planned all along, or did it just happen to work out?

Dr. Jill:  Oh, my goodness, I am just thrilled that it worked out.  No, it was not something I planned all along.  In fact, I just didn’t think a publisher would agree to that, because they have in-house artists.  What happened is, my daughter, I’ve been asking her to draw pictures and sketches for my medical presentations for years now, because that way I don’t have to worry about copyrights.  She’s done them; I’m not stealing anyone’s ideas, and besides that, I can make it look how I want to make it look.  She was doing that, and when I submitted my book proposal, I submitted her pictures along with it.  They said, well, is she available to be the illustrator, and I’m like, yes.  I’m thrilled.  It worked out great.

Christine:  I love that so much, and I identify with it, because I’ve also had my daughter make drawings for me, for the same reason.

Dr. Jill:  Yes, it’s super convenient.  I will say, in fairness to my daughter, she had actually already had a job at her university.  She attends Loyola Marymount University in LA, and she got a job as an illustrator for their press.  She had already had that work experience which certainly gave her a leg up in getting the job.

Christine:  That’s excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Proud mom brag.  I’m allowed.

Christine:  Yeah, go her.  That’s awesome.  Well, I’ve already taken the liberty of introducing you to my listener already, so if it’s okay with you, I’d like to jump right into my questions for you.  Are you good with that?  

Dr. Jill:  Outstanding. Absolutely.

Christine:  Awesome.  So what brought you to where you are today, working part-time, writing books, serving college patients?

Dr. Jill:  My path has been a little bit unusual.  So, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, from the time I was very little.  Neither of my parents were doctors.  My dad was a professor, and my mom was a mom, and a fabulous one.  They told me I could anything and be anything, and I wanted to be a doctor, and I did become one.  I started off with my own private practice, which I loved, but unfortunately, my mother developed Alzheimer’s and at the same time, our kids were very young, and it was just too much.  There’s only so many hours in the day, so I went to part-time, and then, a few years later, I’m like, no, it’s still too much running my own practice, even with another physician.  And so, I stopped my own practice, and went to work for someone else, where I could just walk in, be the doctor, walk out, and not have to hire and fire staff, and do all of that, and that was great.  Meanwhile, I ended up writing my first book, and I sort of naïvely thought as a doctor I could write a book, and the publisher would take it and go put in bookstores and it would sell, and I would keep being a doctor and that’s how it would go.  They said, no, that’s not how it works.  So, I ended up becoming a media person, and doing a lot of radio and some television, and speaking to larger groups and that was, you know, part of my career.  So, I stayed part-time, and I’m also that “Girl Scout Mom.”  So, I was the Girl Scout leader, and then in a national charity league, which was a mother/daughter service organization.  I loved being super involved.  Our daughters both danced.  I was the team photographer.  So as you can see, like many of us, I like doing a lot of different things, and I’m not the primary breadwinner.  My husband is.  He is also a physician.  In our family, it worked for me to stay part-time, and then, after getting into this book writing thing, and I’m realizing I had more books in me that I wanted to do.  I want to just be even more part-time, and as our kids went off to college, I’ve always been involved with their friends and their age group, so it was a really natural fit for me to work in a college setting.  And I live in Austin, and the University of Texas, I had worked there just you know helping out occasionally over the years for many years, and they needed me.  I wanted to be there, and so I’m very part-time there, but it’s wonderful ‘cause it works for both of us.

Christine:  That’s fantastic.

Dr. Jill:  Kind of a long answer, sorry.

Christine:  No, I love those answers.  More for us to get to know you.  

Dr. Jill:  There you go.

Christine:  It’s also, as you’re talking, I’m like, she’s so perfect for us to listen to right now.   And a total slacker in the mom department, that’s sarcasm.  So, I know you have at least one daughter heading back to campus in the fall?

Dr. Jill:  Two.  I have two.  One’s in grad school, and she’s in Saint Louis at Wash U, and then the younger one is a Loyola Marymount.

Christine:  Awesome.  So, with them going back to college, or I guess, the grad school, she’s there already, probably?  Right?  Is she there yet?

Dr. Jill:  Actually, no.  She’s remote also, unfortunately.

00:10:14

Christine:  Okay, so, this question works.  Okay.  Awesome.  So, as a doctor, wear your doctor hat more, and parent hat a little bit, what’s your biggest concern with your children heading back to campus, in our current pandemic?  And is there anything you’re doing in preparation for that?

Dr. Jill:  Well, it’s a little hard to sort out, because obviously I wear the different hats.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  But honestly, one of my concerns is just that COVID is going to be tying up the healthcare system so much, that I want to be sure that our girls are even more prepared than usual, to take care of all their non-COVID health issues.  Of course, I’m a text away for them, and that’s great, but particularly the younger one, out in LA, does not have a car and so I want to make extra sure that her college first aid kit is super well stocked, because if, you know, she’s got a cough, well, then I’m going to be worried about COVID.

Christine:  Right.  I know.

Dr. Jill:  But still, but if she has a cough from just having allergies --

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  -- I want to make sure that she’s got more on hand and understands when she’s supposed to use what.  We have spent a little bit of time already this summer, talking about some of those different things, and you know, when is it appropriate to access the healthcare system and all of that.  Obviously, with COVID, everything is different and honestly, my biggest challenge has been finding them a new thermometer, because, you know, you can’t find thermometers.  They’re sold out.

Christine:  I somehow got some on Amazon.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.

Christine:  I must have gotten really lucky.  

Dr. Jill:  Yes.

Christine:  I can’t find disinfecting wipes.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  It’s a challenge.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  I’ve always been a proponent of the digital oral thermometers, and that’s what I was looking for.  Now, they have all the no-touch infrared ones, and I am assuming that they are relatively accurate.  The things that have the roller on them, that it rolls across the forehead, those are not accurate.  

Christine:  Oh, good to know.

Dr. Jill:  The ear ones are mostly accurate.  I haven’t seen any great studies on the accuracy of the other ones, which is of course, what everyone is relying on, as we move forward with COVID.

Christine:  Yeah.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  There’s some different challenges this year, but I think the biggest one is going to be the ability to access the healthcare system when they need it, because the healthcare system is going to be tied up with COVID.

Christine:  That’s a really good point.  It’s interesting, because I was just reading, in my daughter’s school’s policy and procedure.  If you think you have COVID, because we started talking about this, you go to the health center, at her school, they’ll do contact tracing, and they’ll do a test for her.  And that’s her school, I know they’re all a little different.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  But what we were talking about is that then she’ll move, like say she tests positive, she moves to an off campus --

Dr. Jill:  To a quarantine.

Christine:  -- and I said, you know, I think we should think about this.  What if that happens?  You’re not going to have much notice.  It’s kind of like you’re pregnant, and you need that bag, or at least the list.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  Exactly.

Christine:  ‘Cause you’re not going be able to go back to your dorm room --

Dr. Jill:  No.

Christine:  -- during this time.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  So, the one thing that’s a little different is that if they’re going to go -- I want to say, for the listeners, in general, most of the health centers are not going to say to go there.  They’re going to say you need to call first, and that’s an actual phone call, not just a text and getting an appointment online.

Christine:  Good point.

Dr. Jill:  Because they want to talk with you through the triage nurses, and make sure that you’re coming in the right entrance, and you know, all the schools are going to handle this a bit differently.  But almost all of them that I’m aware of, start with a phone call, which is not something our college kids are necessarily used to doing.

Christine:  No, not at all.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  Second thing is, when you go, whether you’re going to a hospital or whether you’re going to a clinic, be sure you take your electronic chargers with you.  Because once you go into isolation, that’s going to be your connection, and you’re going to need your charger.  That’s something that ordinarily, kids don’t always pack those in their backpack automatically.  They’ll have their phone; they always have their phone, but you need the charger, too, and not just the portable.

Christine:  Yeah.  We need a list.  Let’s do a list.

Dr. Jill:  It’s a good idea.  We should do a list.  I agree.

Christine:  We’re going to do a list, listener.  We’re going to have that available, because I think you’re going to have your own special list, but I think having a starting point would be really good.  We’ll talk offline, if that’s okay, Dr. Jill.

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  

Christine:  Excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.  Absolutely.

Christine:  Okay.  Here’s my next question, those of us who already have our children in college, should have already thought of this, but sometimes we don’t.  Are there any medical forms or processes, that we as college parents, should have already filled out, that maybe we didn’t think about.  I know there’s some things with age, like sometimes they don’t even have to tell us as parents, things that happen.  Are there any pitfalls that you see in college patients with the process?

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  So let me start by saying, again, I have a graduate student, and a rising senior in college.  I have never filled out forms in advance, so this is new for all of us, and with COVID, I actually think it is a good idea to go ahead and fill out, there are a couple of forms, each school will probably have their own HIPAA release.  HIPAA is the privacy act forms.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  And so there’s a release of information and you can check on your child’s -- not child, your young adult.

Christine:  I say child.  Aren’t they always our children?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah, they’re still our babies.  They’re babies.  Anyway, you can check on their university’s website, and see if they have a specific form, or you can go to -- I know there’s several online paraform organizations, like one is called Mama Bear forms, and I’m not speaking for them; I have not used them myself, but I know I’m aware of many people who have.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  I understand it’s about $50 to get two forms, and one is the release and the other is the medical power of attorney, and that would be important if your child, who is 21, or whatever, anything over 18, if they were unconscious in a hospital, unable to make decisions on their own.  This would really smooth things out paperwork wise, if you had this already filled out and notarized ahead of time.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  And so, this year, I probably will go ahead and do those forms for both of our daughters. 

Christine:  That’s really good information.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  The other thing I really want to say is that as a provider at a university, honestly, it’s really not to me, it’s our nursing staff, and our phone triage people, get inundated with angry parents saying, I want to know is my kid there, being seen.  I need all the parents to know, we can’t even say that they’re there, or they’re not there, not without your child’s permission. 

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  So our hands are tied, so please don’t be upset with the health staff, they’re not trying to be difficult.  Honestly, we’re trying to do the best we can for your kid.  For something like, something we see all the time, like say your kid is really sick there, so they’ve got food poisoning, or they’ve got mono, and they’re just really down and out, and we need to kind of have them there for a bit, maybe to give them some IV fluids.  The parents know that they were on their way there, and it’s just like, text your kid.  They can text back.  We don’t take away their phones.  They can answer and most providers are going to be willing to talk to a parent, but we can’t call the parent, if the student is talking to the parent, and the student, right there in front of you says, “Would you talk to my parent,” and hands us the phone, then we can say something.  Every school’s got their nuances of that, but just know that the healthcare providers are really -- we care about the kids a ton.  I don’t know anyone that works where I work that doesn’t just honestly love college students.  We’re all there, there’s not a lot of money in college health.  We’re there because we love the environment; we love the enthusiasm; we love young people, and we want to help them.  Please know that your kids are in good hands.

Christine:  Yes.  That makes me feel good as a parent.

Dr. Jill:  We give a lot of hugs.

Christine:  Well now, social distanced, right?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  Yeah.  I guess, now we don’t.  No, we’re not hugging.  Virtual hugs.

Christine:  Yeah, exactly.  I have a new favorite GIF and it’s the little raccoon that does this.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  Exactly.

Christine:  I’ll have to put it in my show notes.  It’s very important.

Dr. Jill:  Absolutely.

Christine:  So, Dr. Jill has a book that she’s written, and there is a theme -- I’m going to talk about it a little more in a bit, but there’s a familiar theme in your book, I noticed, about washing your hands --

Dr. Jill:  Pre-COVID.

Christine:  Yes.  This is pre-COVID.  Washing your hands to avoid illnesses, and while it isn’t COVID-specific, I see the knowledge dropped already within your book, on how to minimize your chances of picking up the common cold and such, which is great.  Why does it take us humans a pandemic to notice these things, not that I expect you to have an answer.  But that isn’t my question.  My question is related to your book.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Do you have a favorite chapter of your book, and if so, why is it your favorite chapter?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so every author out there knows that that’s like asking like, do I have a favorite child, so hard to pick.  But I will say a little bit in deference to our younger child, who’s the illustrator, probably if I had to only pick one topic in this, it would be the insomnia chapter, because I was talking with her about doing illustrations and figuring out which chapters we could use pictures for, and I’m like, oh, this is great, we can have all the solutions to insomnia in this picture.  That’s my favorite chapter.  One, because there’s a ton of things that kids can do that they don’t realize, kids and adults, in and out of school, ways that you can - - insomnia, before you ever get to the point of being so frustrated that you haven’t slept in a week, and in college student’s case, that they’re flunking a class, then coming in.  So this gives them a lot of things that they can do on their own, and tells them again, when it’s come in and let us help.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thanks.

Christine:  Now, I’ve got to go back and look at that chapter.  So this week, I actually received a listener question for you.  

Dr. Jill:  Great.

Christine:  Thanks to Deb, from Connecticut, for the following question.  I’m going to read it for you.  “Hi Christine, I think parents need to talk to their kids about what happens if they do get COVID when returning to college.  If they’re close enough, do they come home?  Is there a COVID dorm?” Well, we’ve already talked about that, that the college offers, and would they be expected to stay there.  Think about the options before they go and discuss.  Emotions will be running high --

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  -- if they do come down with it.  Interestingly enough, we covered a lot of it, but yeah.  Any additional thoughts on that?

Dr. Jill:  I think setting expectations upfront is really good and helpful, and yes, if I get that phone call that one of our girls has COVID, is my instinct going to be to jump on a plane, ‘cause my kids are a thousand miles away in different directions, you know, is that going to be my instinct?  Yes, that’s going to be my instinct.  Am I going to do it?  I hope not.  One thing we really need to remember is that although COVID is scary for a lot of reasons, still the vast majority of disease is mild, and hopefully, if and when our kids get it, they will fall under that category of mild disease.  They’re going to be uncomfortable.  They’re going to be achy.  They might be miserable, but it may not be medically scary, and I don’t think we need to immediately go somewhere.  

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  The great thing is that now we’ve got our smartphones, we can see them, we can Facetime.  We can talk with them.  I don’t think we need to be just running -- we’re not going to swoop them in and take them to a hotel.  I’m sure that when you check into a hotel, they’re going to say, “Do you have COVID?”

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  I don’t think ethically we can take someone with COVID to a hotel.  Could you do an AirBNB?  Yeah, I think that honestly, I think that’s a reasonable thing.  I think if my kid were in a situation where I felt I needed to be there, that’s probably what I would do, is I would try and rent a home, rather then -- because I don’t think ethically, you can take them to a hotel, with the shared ventilation systems and all of that.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  Just talking with them ahead of time, to say, hey, you know, if you get this, the first thing that’s going to happen is you’re going to be isolated, we want to make sure that you have your phone charger and your phone, and your iPad and your computer, and the chargers for those with you.  You’ll have to figure out how the campuses are going to be delivering food to them.  How are they going to check their symptoms and move forward? All of this changes, of course, if your child actually were to be immune-compromised.  We know if our kids have special risk factors that would change our immediate concern.  But if they are the average overall healthy kid, and asthma does not seem to be making COVID worse, oddly enough.  We have not really seen a big thing like that, so if they’re a standard, overall healthy kid, I don’t think we need to be swooping in immediately.

00:23:06

Christine:  That’s good advice.  I like your honesty, too.  I hopefully will not swoop in.  I appreciate that.

Dr. Jill:  You know?

Christine:  I know.  We’re moms.

Dr. Jill:  And it depends on the kids.  You’ve the introverted kid who’s doing just fine in social isolation, and you’ve got an extroverted kid, who is really missing that.  There’s so many factors that weigh into this, but there you go.

Christine:  There really is.  All right.  So, if you could have all of the college parents in the whole world in one huge room, obviously, social distanced.  This is a big hypothetical.  And you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?

Dr. Jill:  This is a tough one.  I’ve actually been thinking about this since you told me you were going to ask me this, because I’ve got 30,001 things I want to say.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  But I think one thing for all of us to remember, and this is directed at me, too, is that:  one, young people are resilient, we’ve already seen that; two, this is sort of - - but not really, not every day of college is fantastic.  If I say think about college right now.  If someone tells me that, I’m going to think about Aggie football games and having so much fun, and the super awesome times that I had in college.  I am not going to think about the night that I sat in my dorm room sobbing hysterically when my first boyfriend broke up with me, or the day that I bombed the test and I thought, oh, my God, I’ll never get into medical school, or the, or the, or the, or the.  We all have those other things.

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  The problem is, is our kids grew up, and especially now, in this high pressure, what college are you going to, and all of that that we do to our kids.  We didn’t grow up saying oh, yeah, I had bad days in college.  They grew up hearing us or going with us to football games, and having these fabulous times.  One of the things that I think we forget to tell our kids, is that it’s not all great, and that’s okay.  Because the problem is --

Christine:  So true.

Dr. Jill:  -- they have this image of everything in college is going to be fantastic.  If they weren’t popular in high school, they’re going to go there and suddenly be popular, or if maybe they were super popular in high school, they get to college and they’re not that big fish in a little pond.  But there’s all kinds of disappointments that happen.  A lot of which happen in that first semester away from home, and it’s twice as hard because they think, oh, my God, these are the best years of my life.  That’s what I’ve been told, over and over.  So my one piece of advice is to say, yeah, college, I would say at that point in my life, that was the best time of my life, but it’s not all great, and each year gets better, and each year gets better after college, too.  We have to have more perspective.

Christine:  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  It’s such great advice.  It really is.  I say this often, is that I think one of the detriments is that we aren’t taught early on in life that life isn’t supposed to be perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  So everyday, things aren’t perfect, so we lose control, and if you just realize, okay, this is the not-perfect thing right now, I mean, it’s not always that easy to say that, but it helps.

Dr. Jill:  And COVID sure is making things not perfect. 

Christine:  Wow, we are really being tested this year.

Dr. Jill:  We’re mastering that one.  Got that one down.  Nailed it.

Christine:  We do.  So what’s the best way for my listener to pick up your amazing book?

Dr. Jill:  Well, because of COVID, I’m going to say the best thing you could do is to support your local bookstores, because I love small independent bookstores.  So, one, start there.  Order it in advance, and then they’ll either deliver to you by mail, or you can drive up and pick it up.  So I would say that number one.  Number two, of course, is on Amazon, and actually, it is also on Walmart and Target online.  If you’re on there shopping for your other dorm stuff, just add it to your cart.

Christine:  Go you, Dr. Jill.  You’re everywhere!  I love it.

Dr. Jill:  I’m in Walmart.  Whoo Hoo!

Christine:  That’s awesome.  

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  So before you go -- it’s so funny, I could talk to you for four hours, I can already tell.  

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  So I have four fun questions that I ask every guest of mine.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Number one, very important, waffles or pancakes?

Dr. Jill:  And I’ve just got to tell you, I swing both ways.  Kind of the --

Christine:  Excellent answer.

Dr. Jill:  -- I gave a lot of thought to this.  So, if it’s a Mickey waffle maker, Mickey waffles, every time.  If there’s link sausage, then pancakes, ‘cause I want to make it pigs-in-a-blanket.  So those are my determining factors.  Anything with fruit and whipped cream, either one is equal.

Christine:  Syrup or no syrup?

Dr. Jill:  Whipped cream over syrup.  Less calories, tastes better, feels like a treat.

Christine:  It does.  That’s awesome.  What is one item you can’t live without and why?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so my knee jerk reaction to that question is, of course, my phone, because that’s how I talk to my family and how I communicate, but you know what?  I can also do that through my iPad or my laptop, so if it was one thing within that, it would be iMessage.  But I decided to scrap all of that, and the one non-computer thing that I can’t live without is my blender, because I make smoothies every day, and that’s the easiest way for me to keep healthy.

Christine:  Now, I want to ask you twelve more questions.  Is it like protein powder smoothie, or fruits, or --

Dr. Jill:  No, nope.  

Christine:  -- what do you put in your --

Dr. Jill:  Frozen strawberries, two handfuls, I put a lot in there.  Frozen strawberries, banana, that does not have to be frozen, and then Greek yogurt, vanilla yogurt.  That’s it.

Christine:  Oh, it sounds perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Then to clean it, here’s the really important part.  I learned this a long time ago.  

Christine:  Yeah?

Dr. Jill:  You dump it out, you pour water back in the blender, put one drop of your detergent in there, put it back on there, turn it on, it cleans it, rinse it out, you’re done.

Christine:  Oh, yes.

Dr. Jill:  It’s life changing for me. 

Christine:  Pro tip from Dr. Jill today.

Dr. Jill:  There you go.  Clean your blenders, that’s ‘cause that’s the one thing people hate about making smoothies.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  So I learned that.  So there you go.

Christine:  That’s excellent.  Oh, wow.  All-time favorite movie and any particular reason?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so tough one.  If I could only pick one, then I would have to say “Shrek” and that’s because “Shrek” was the first movie we really enjoyed as a family, when the girls were little and driving back and forth, we do these long road trips that take 17 hours, and so we watched “Shrek” a lot, and I love the adult humor.  I loved the animation, didn’t know our youngest was going to become an animator, but it kind of ties it all together for our family.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.  So, you have an hour of alone time, no one’s going to bother you.  What’s your go-to thing to do?

Dr. Jill:  Take the dog for a walk or jump on my Peloton. 

Christine:  Really?

Dr. Jill:  Yup.

Christine:  Wow.

Dr. Jill:  Exercise for sure.

Christine:  What kind of dog?

Dr. Jill:  We have a Portuguese Water dog.

Christine:  I can’t even picture that.

Dr. Jill:  It’s what Obama had.

Christine:  Oh, okay.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  She’s black and white.  

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  They’re hypoallergenic, and they’re friendly.

Christine:  Excellent.  Excellent.  All right.  So, Dr. Jill, I am beyond thrilled that you took the time to chat with me today.  I’m even more thankful as a parent, that I have your book, and that soon my daughter’s going to have her own copy of your book.  So, my amazing listener, you know I don’t recommend things often in this manner, like I really don’t.  So, this one is a total no-brainer.  Look for Dr. Jill’s book in your local bookstore, if you’re able, or use the non-affiliate link in my show notes.  Is there anything else you would like to share with my amazing listener, Dr. Jill?

Dr. Jill:  Just that, guys, we’re in this together and it’s going to be okay.  College does not look like what any of us want it to look like, right now.  But you know what?  They’re going to have a super unique experience, and they’re going to be telling their kids about that -- college in the pandemic and how we all wore masks, and we’ve learned we can really be flexible and do things differently, and they’re going to find more and more fun things to do outside.  They’re going to have more frisbee golf aficionados, and all kinds of different activities.  So it’s going to be okay.  I’m there with you.  I’m concerned, too, but it’s going to be okay.

Christine:  Wonderful.  Thank you for that reassurance.  I love it.  Thanks again, for being here, and for the incredible resources that you have gifted the world with, and a final thanks for sharing your knowledge with the college parents in my audience.  Thanks for being here today.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much.

[Music]

00:31:18

Christine:  I hope you enjoyed this interview, my listener. Dr. Jill’s website is JillGrimesMD.com. I’ll have a link to her website and her socials in the show notes!  When we finished recording, I spoke to Dr. Jill for a few minutes.  We came up with a quick list of items to have prepped in a COVID Emergency Bag.  It isn’t all inclusive but will get you started. She also mentioned that in her first aid kit she’s now recommending that a dorm room, or suite of college students, have access to a pulse oximeter. Her reasoning is that if your child has a cough and fever you would contact the college’s health center but if your child also has access to a pulse oximeter and their oxygen levels are low, then that is right to the hospital worthy.

00:32:07

One final thing we discussed is she recommends a mask that has a pocket for a coffee filter. She has a blog post with all the details on the why.  It totally makes sense and the link, of course, is in my show notes. 

[Music]

00:32:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are: have you picked up Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?  And the second question is, what question do you wish I had asked Jill?

[Music]

00:32:26

It is time for a quick tip, advice, or thoughts from a listener.

Jo:  I’m here to talk about Instagram, which I have a slight love/hate relationship with, as I’m sure many other people do, as well.  I basically think there is six stages that you go through.  You set up an Instagram account and follow anyone and everyone, in the hopes they’ll follow you back.  Stage two, you realize you can’t possibly go through the posts from 2,000 people, you seem to be following sites you have no interest in, like your neighbor’s cat, who seems to have their own feed.  I mean, what’s that all about anyway?  Any way, you unfollow three-quarters of the people you originally signed up to follow, in order to get your numbers more manageable.  Stage three, is the very next day, when you realize that those three-quarters of people have actually unfollowed you as well.  Stage four, you realize that this is actually good, that now, you only follow people you like and are interested in, and the people who follow you are engaged and seem to like what you do.  Five, you realize when Instagram goes down that perhaps you’re a little bit too tied to it, as you alternate between sulking, rage and full-on panic.  Six, you realize that some of your friends on Instagram are actually more awesome, insightful, and supportive than your real friends, and wonder, if in fact, you can stop following your non-Instagram friends, figuratively speaking, and just live on Instagram.  Okay, so that may be a little bit extreme, but my advice is this: your engagement is what matters.  Interaction with like-minded amazing women living their best life alongside yours, not the number of followers you have.  This isn’t news to many of you, but to those of you who are new to Instagram, or feeling slightly overwhelmed, keep it manageable.  You don’t have to post every day.  Post when you have something to say.  If it gets too much, take a break, come back again.  It’s meant to be fun, not a chore, and don’t go so far down the Instagram rabbit hole that you forget to be present with the people around you.  Anyway, I must go now.  I need to catch up with what Mauggie, my neighbor’s cat’s been up to.

00:34:32

Special Thanks to Jo Davies, for her humorous thoughts on Instagram.  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all, and it is the best way to be notified of a new podcast episode.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  I opened a box today and it told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening?]

[End]

101: Free Empty Nest SuccessTraining – Why You Don’t Know What Is Next For Your Life

101: Free Empty Nest Success Training - Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

In this episode, I share the beginning portion of my free training: Why You Don't Know What is Next For Your Life, Psst... it isn't your fault. 

2023+ UPDATE: Offerings have been updated since this release. Click here to view current offerings: empty nest help.

In the full training session, I share with you how I found success in the empty nest, you will learn a bit more about me, and I ask you to consider two types of women entering the empty nest.

I may post this on YouTube in 2024. Stay tuned.

Enjoy! 


Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If you notice, CEO of her Life Sally also has badges, but these are her superhero badges!"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 A teaser of a new & free training for Empty Nest Success: Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life 💚 #ListeningTo #MidLifeMom #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #FreeTraining #WomenEmpoweringWomen

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought to You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider That There are Two Types of Women Entering the Empty Nest
  • If You Have The Interest to Learn More About Becoming the Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) of Your Life

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 101 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 101:  Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life...Psst, It Isn’t Your Fault, and this is just a teaser.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  Today’s episode is the beginning of my new free webinar.  We recorded it last Thursday and it is waiting for you right now.  So exciting!  

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button.  Get the idea?  Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 101 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P101).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:51

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:34

Hi, everyone.  I’m Coach Christine, your empty nest coach and we are about to begin our session: Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life...Psst, It Isn’t Your Fault.  Hello, amazing empty nest friend, this is our three-legged shelter cat, Lego, stealing the show.  Just like I had allowed everyone to steal my show over the last 18 or so years.  Now, I consciously let Lego steal the show, and I take care of myself.  But I didn’t always.  

00:03:09

Before we dive in, let’s make sure I’m not about to waste the next 25 or so minutes of your time.  You are in the right place if: you can’t figure out what is next for your life; you’ve spent the last 18 or so years doing everything for everyone else; ready to make a long-lasting permanent change in your life that will benefit you, your family and others.  If any or all of these apply, congratulations, you are in the right place.

00:03:40

You should have received in the confirmation emails a link to print out this PDF which you can use as we go through this session, or you can grab any piece of paper that you have handy and make sure you have a writing utensil.  I’ll tell you at the end how to claim one of these bonuses, should you sign up for the GPS Support Flock.  I’d like you now to consciously think about which one you would choose.  You have Weight Loss or Simplifying Your Life.  If you could pick right now, which one would it be, and write that down on your piece of paper.  Or would you pick both of them?  Totally valid answer.

00:04:24

Let’s talk about types of people.  There are types of people in the world, right?  When you think about vacations, there are the types of people who love being out in the woods, in nature, sleeping under the stars, sleeping bag on the ground, food over the fire, and then, there are the people who have to stay in five-star hotels where they have room service, a pool, all that fun stuff, right?  How about schooling?  You have people who are diehard public school families, and then, you have the opposite extreme, those who homeschooled before COVID-19.  Then, of course, one of the most famous types, dog or cat person?  In reality, most of us are somewhere in between.  But we find we identify a tad more closely with one than the other, possibly.  That may depend on the day, right?

00:05:18

Let’s consider mothers entering the empty nest.  At first glance, they look pretty similar.  Especially if you go with what is posted on social media.  One look at that social media account and you see how together they look, or how together they want you to think they are.  I would now like you to consider that there are two primary types of women entering the empty nest, and I’d like to introduce them to you.  Self-Help Sally and CEO of Her Life Sally.  As I introduce them to you, I want you to think about who you identify with, and how you identify with her, and who you want to identify with as you move forward in your life.

00:06:00

First, let’s meet Self-Help Sally.  She loves being a mom.  She loves her family.  She supports everything her family does.  She is an organizer of events, of things that happen in the family.  She uses all of her time to support others, to do things for them, and necessities for herself.  She’s even responsible for transportation, even if it’s not the actual driving.  She has the thinking of how to get them from place to place, or when they’re going to be home.  Self-Help Sally wears her family’s accomplishments like badges of honor, on her.  They are her identity.  Which is great when her child graduates, is in a rewarding career, or is incredibly happy.  But when her child fails a test, drops out of school, gets arrested, considers new career options, she wears those as if they’re hers, too, because that’s all she knows.  Then there are her thoughts:  oh, I need to call a friend; how do I support my child; how do I support my partner; I have to plan that event for my extended family; oh, I need food for that event; I’ve got to get my own doctor appointments in and she finds that there is just a tiny sliver of time left for her, with all this stuff.  Teeny, tiny, sliver of time.  Time, that on the rare occasions when she has it available, she looks to fill it quickly, rather than simply being alone with herself.  In that tiny sliver of time that she has left, Self-Help Sally’s looking for the next quick fix to solve her life’s problems.  She wants everything to miraculously feel better when she’s done.

00:07:47

She fills that sliver of time with manicures, having some coffee, coffee with friends, fixing up the house, doing some workouts, maybe binging Netflix, getting a makeover, taking a trip with a friend, having a bottle of wine, or maybe just a glass of wine.  Oh, maybe she needs a new partner.  Wait, if I talk to so-and-so, they don’t like that person either, and a little gossiping goes on.  These types of things.  Self-Help Sally thinks she’s helping herself when she’s doing them, but what she’s really doing is ignoring who she is.  She has no idea anyway, who that woman would be, so it’s just easier to stay busy.

00:08:26

How could she find herself in that small sliver of time anyway?  She’s sure she couldn’t, so she doesn’t even try.  If she really thinks about it, she’s got it better than her neighbor down the street, Janey Sue, so you know, she’s okay.  Now, of course, many of the things that Self-Help Sally has chosen to do with that sliver of free time, they’re absolutely fine.  Especially when they’re balanced in her life.  If she understands their place in her life.  I call it the top of her life’s toolbox.  The Bandaids, not the cure.  It’s when she expects these things to cure what ails her, that a feeling of unrest will settle into her life.  In this photo of a dam, it would be like you knowing that there are architectural problems with it, and instead of hiring an engineer and getting in the proper tools and resources to fix it properly, you decide that a cork from a wine bottle will do just as well, or maybe like 50 corks.  You take them and you start filling in holes in the dam.  Well, you and I know that those aren’t going to hold the dam.  But that’s kind of what Self-Help Sally’s doing.  

00:09:35

The cork is fine for a wine bottle, so there’s nothing wrong with it.  It’s just doing the wrong job.  What Self-Help Sally needs is a cure.  No more Bandaids.  Sally knows that her child heading out on their own means more free time for her, and she doesn’t quite know where to begin, or knows once she gets through her list of things she’s been putting off for years, then she won’t know where to begin.  How could she know what to do with her time, when she’s spent the last 18 or so years in roles supporting everyone else.  Let’s talk about how she really feels under everything.  Watch her carefully.  Tired.  No, actually, she’s exhausted.  She feels like a mom-machine doing everything for everyone else, only she’s not a robot.  When someone asks her who she is outside of her role as mother, she gives you this look.  When she thinks about the time that she’s going to have, she thinks she’s going to look a lot like this.  Which might be fun for, you know, half a day, and then what?

00:10:39

She wonders who she is outside of all the roles that she’s had.  When she thinks about it, does she even want to know who she is under those roles?  Because it might be kind of scary.  She thinks some days that she might want to do what she did when she was younger.  Remember that thing I loved to do?  Sometimes, that’s great, and other times, it just doesn’t feel the same way any more.  She also wonders if her partner and her are going to get along.  Self-Help Sally is a role-filler.  She’s completely covered who she is outside of her roles of mom, partner, school volunteer, employee, cat-litter cleaner.  You know, those roles.  This is the normal for Sally, and this is why she can’t figure out what is next for her.  She needs to know who she is, first.  

00:11:31

But none of this is her fault.  She was never taught how to manage all of this effectively, and in a way that would allow her to find who she is outside of her roles.  While she is really good at researching the next thing that’s happening in her life and navigating it for her family, but what about her?  I ask you now, is there anything so far about Self-Help Sally that you identify with?  What resonates the most with you?

00:11:57

Now, I’d like you to meet CEO of Her Life Sally, and CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  CEO of Her Life Sally has done the work, training her mind in a way that allows her to be strong, in a way she didn’t know before.  She has an internal GPS that guides her throughout her days.  She has a well-stocked toolbox for her life, and takes inventory of it periodically.  She chooses to go through life with a tremendous amount of self-love.  She understands what she has control over in her life and remembers how many things are outside of her fence.  All of this gives CEO of Her Life Sally a tremendous amount of peace.  Peace that she had never known before.  Now, if you notice, CEO of Her Life Sally also has badges, but these are her superhero badges.  Let’s look at one close.  Check it out.  These superhero badges are for: learning how to be kind to herself in her thoughts; for consciously choosing her thoughts; for processing through emotions; for training her Protector well; and managing things outside of her fence; for stocking her CEO tool box well, and more.  Now, I bet you’re wondering how I know so much about these two?  Well, my friend, I was Self-Help Sally, absolutely was.

00:13:25

Hi, friend, I’m back.  That was the beginning of this webinar, and I then talk about how I went from Self-Help Christine to CEO of Her Life Christine.  While I navigated to becoming the CEO of My Life, I have created resources for you to also become the CEO of Your Life.  If you want to learn more, please watch the entire webinar.  Check it out.  I have photos of my cat, of my family, and I can’t wait for you to learn more.  If you have any questions, along the way, ask me and I will be back next week in your feed.  Have a great day!  You are amazing!  See ya!

 [End]

[Bloopers / Still Listening]

[End]

100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wow - episode 100!

I decided to celebrate this milestone by sharing lessons learned from podcasting, creating a business, and life. 

Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be In it For The Long Haul. Take the amount of time you think it will take, double it, double it again, and then triple it: THAT amount of time. If you are good with THAT amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots, and changes needed along the way."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Wow: episode 100! In celebration, I reflect on best tips for podcasting, creating a business, and life. Enjoy! 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster #PodcastLife #Entrepreneur #LifeTips #Advice

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • My Top Advice for Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do any of these resonate with you? 
  2. Do you have lessons learned to share with others?

Episode Resources

Still Listening? Section Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 100 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 100: Lessons Learned, Advice I’m Glad I Took or Wish I Had Taken. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! How are you doing today? I am super excited to have this celebration with you today. You know how I like to celebrate things. While I certainly don’t need a party or anything like that, I need to just stop and celebrate the fact that I have consistently put out podcast episodes. I have stayed true to future Christine and I’ve made it here to 100, which isn’t always the case with podcasts. There’s a lot of podfading going on. I’m going to talk a little bit about that today.  

00:01:25

But before we get started, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 100 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P100) I still can’t believe it’s 100. Whoo Hoo! I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:15

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:03:01 

I would like to formally welcome K. Soane, PreKureMe Health Coach, in the USA, into our GPS Support Flock Membership Program. We are incredibly excited that you joined the flock and look forward to your flight to success.

00:03:19

I had a bunch of ideas on what to do with this episode and landed on doing a lessons-learned topic to share with you some things that I’ve learned since starting this podcast, and a couple other areas of my life. It’s a nice time for reflection for me and while they all may not apply directly to you, sometimes you never know what small bit of life-sharing will resonate with you. I am going to give you four lessons-learned in three areas: podcasting, business and life.

00:03:45

First up is podcasting.  Number one, your first episode won’t be your best. Not even close. If you are looking to podcast, please know, going in, that no one is happy with their first episode. You’ll want to redo your early episodes if you go back and listen to them. Just be prepared for that. Remember that done is better than perfection. Meaning if you’re waiting for perfection, or if I had been waiting for perfection, I honestly wouldn’t have an episode out at all, and here I am at 100. So just do it. Jump in and learn as you go. If you don’t believe me and you listen to a podcast of anybody, and they’re in over 100 episodes, go back and listen to their first one and see the difference.

00:04:32

Number two under podcasting: 100 Episodes is a big deal and you’re going to have a different voice at episode 100 than you did in episode 1. Do you know that most podcasters don’t make it past 7 episodes due to podfading? For real. Once the excitement wears off, there is a whole lot of steps that go into every single episode, and you get very little feedback. I’ve mentioned this before, in my episodes, that podcasting can be quite lonely. It isn’t like we have an audience right in front of us where we hear them cry, boo, cheer, laugh, and provide any feedback whatsoever, only a few gem of a human who create reviews for us or who give us a shoutout on social media, that’s really the only way that we get feedback. No going in if you’re a person who needs a lot of feedback. Podcasting might not be the best place for you, at least not initially, until you build that audience.

00:05:32

As I said, hitting 100 episodes is a big deal, if most don’t make it past 7. You get to 25, 50, and then 100, that’s a really big deal. Milestones are important. I remember someone said, I feel like it was Jess and Elsie on ShePodcasts, that they said that most podcasters don’t find their voice and get comfortable until episode 100, and I believe this. I’ve tried things. I’ve had new equipment, tried scripted, not scripted, guests, more guests, no guests. It really isn’t until now that I feel comfortable enough to hit record and not feel completely anxious every time. The anxiety is gone. I’m definitely more me and more comfortable behind the mic, and I’m more willing to just try new things. Change it up. Super fun.

00:06:21

Number three under podcasting, your show is your show. I share this with you because I often see, in some of the podcasting Facebook groups, people will be like, “Hey, I don’t know what to do.  I’m not feeling it anymore.  I think I want to change my topic,” or “I don’t want to have my podcast be weekly anymore.” Your show is your show. You can do whatever you want. That is the beauty of being, well yes, specifically, Independent Podcasters. We can do whatever we want. For a personality like mine, who I really like creative freedoms, but I like somebody to give me a project and let me run with it. I love podcasting.  I love being an Independent Podcaster, where I have full creative control over my show, whatever that means to me. Not only what it means today, but what it means to me tomorrow, what it meant to me yesterday, and those, all three things, can look different. I love that. It’s so worth the work. While yes, it is a lot of work, with your show being your show, you have complete control to change it when you want to or need to, and this is what I love most about podcasting, you sharing your voice with the world. With guests, without guests, with sponsors, without sponsors, you can make it what you want. You can change it 400 times if you want. Sure, people might get annoyed, like it’s a free podcast. Get over it. Really. People love to complain about free stuff, don’t they? Anyway, it’s your show and that is what I love about podcasting. I love it so much. So fun.

00:07:59

Okay, my final podcasting item: bad reviews are a milestone. This is really important if you are about to embark into podcasting or if you just started, or if you have a bunch of bad reviews. Remember, what this means is that it’s no longer only your friends and family listening to your show. You’re actually getting out there. Now, sure, you are going to have trolly people who say something about your giggle, or your laugh, that is just ridiculous. Especially women podcasters, we get stuff about our voices all of the time. But sometimes, those reviews are helpful; they’ll say something about your audio quality, or give you an idea. Take them all with a grain of salt, and remember that it means it’s not just your friends and family listening. Whoo Hoo! 

00:08:47

My next topic is starting a business and having future you in mind. Number one, be in it for the long haul. I’m really serious about this. When you come up with an idea for future you, and maybe it’s a business, maybe it’s a huge project, I want you to take the amount of time that you think it will take you to reach that goal, then, I want you to double it, double it again and then triple it. That amount of time. If you are good with that amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots and changes needed along the way to reach that goal. The journey is so much fun anyway, or if it isn’t, it’s going to be this awful climb. Who wants that? If you are prepared for the long haul, you aren’t going to give up when six months of effort shows one or two true fans. You’ll see you have two fans you didn’t have six months ago. When a system you spent two months learning or pouring money into doesn’t work, you’ll know it was part of a greater learning process. Finding what doesn’t work is sometimes incredibly powerful, and finding that early is a godsend. So yes, be in it for the long haul.

00:10:04

Number two for starting a business: choose time or money. Look, building a business takes time and money. The less money you have, the more time it will take. The more time you have, the less money you’ll need upfront. Just keep that in mind. Take inventory of your resources, and move forward accordingly. Number three, the power in doing things yourself. I’m a firm believer in doing things yourself when you get started. Especially if money’s an issue. If you have the time, use the time to train yourself, to educate yourself, to build your website, so then, when you have the money to hire a web designer or someone to maintain it, you know what skills you’re looking for. I know the tech behind things. I know right away when a salesperson makes an offer to me, if it’s worth it to me, or not. Usually, the answer is, it isn’t. My business, right now, is me and a dear friend who helps me with podcast editing and post-production. So, I know the skills needed when I’m ready to hire out. I have checklists and documentation ready for those new hires too. I’m spending my time doing that. Just ask my helper. I do! Number four, let future you guide you. Truly so powerful. It’s so easy to have shiny-object syndrome as we create businesses, as we create projects, and unless you have your future self guiding you, you’re just going to jump onto the next shiny object, so let future you guide you.

00:11:38

The last topic is life.  Number one, your GPS.  So incredibly important if I could make you understand your GPS internally, like magic, I would do that. Because when you do the work to uncover the future work that inspires you, you won’t need to look outside of yourself for answers. Your internal GPS will be there with you always. Always. So use her. Find her and use her.  Okay? Rant over. Maybe.

00:12:09

Number two, slow and steady. Look, in life, the five years that you take to build your business, lose weight, or create something amazing, seems so far away now. I know, I know. But when you look back you won’t believe how fast the time went and how far you have come, so where do you want to be five years from now? You don’t have to do everything overnight. Number three, mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. You’ll make more progress when you aren’t afraid of them. Number four, nature. This is personal. I love nature. Be in it as much as possible. It grounds you, and rejuvenates you. I’m ending it there, because I’m off to celebrate. If you liked these and are interested in lessons learned in other areas of my life, like particular parenting areas or maybe from my homeschooling mom years, let me know!

00:13:01

Of course, should you want to discuss any of these more with me, I invite you to join the GPS Support Flock Membership program. I have a discussion space for every episode. Fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community to join today, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me with the words Flock membership. I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend!

[Music]

00:13:28

The questions I have for you in this episode are, do any of these resonate with you? Do you have lessons learned to share with others? If you do, make sure you send it in for a Quick Tip.

[Music]

00:13:43

Today’s quick tip has been submitted by Dale Troy. Had I been a tad more organized, I would have included her tip last week which was on your anxiety about your child heading back to school in the fall. Dale and I are on the same page, of course. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Dale!

[Music]

00:14:02

Dale:  This is Dale Troy. I’m a college success coach and the founder of Crush College Stress. My tip today is for your college students who are at home, worrying about what college is going to be like in the fall. Some colleges have announced that they plan to reopen. Others have announced that they’ll continue with online classes, but many colleges haven’t even communicated their plan yet. It’s no surprise then, that your college students are feeling anxious, disappointed and even angry.

00:14:36

How can you help your college students? First give them some perspective. It’s always better to focus on what you can control, rather than on what you have no control over. Since reopening, continuing with online classes, or something in between, is the college’s decision, your college student shouldn’t be spending hours complaining or trying to figure out what will happen. It’s much better to be patient, be flexible, and be resilient.

00:15:05

Second, your college student should start thinking about what their goals are for the fall. If they’re going to attend college, they need to have the right attitude. The format may not be perfect. It may not be what they expected, but they can still get a lot out of the semester. The first step is knowing what they want to accomplish, what they want to learn, and what they want to experience. If they don’t have any goals, they won’t be able to take full advantage of what their college does offer.

00:15:33

Third, your college student should practice reducing their stress on a daily basis. There are many simple ways they can feel more calm and more in control. Here are some suggestions: practice guided meditation, using an app on their phone; write in a gratitude journal, three things they are grateful for each day; take a walk in nature, or listen to calming music with their eyes closed. If your college student implements all three strategies, I’m sure they will feel a whole lot better about their situation.

[Music] 

00:16:08

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Don’t you dare let the world allow you to forget that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still Listening?]

[End]

99: Anxiety Around My Child Going Back To School

99: Anxiety Around My Child Going Back To School

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I know it is June, but with colleges beginning to announce their 2020 fall plans, I've heard parent concerns in all areas:

  • I hope they aren't online only!
  • I'm worried about them going back!
  • I'm concerned about it all!

Let's chat a bit about that today, and try an activity. 

Sample

Activity worksheet sample: available to print in the GPS Support Flock.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"You have the choice to resist a situation or to process through feelings and move on. BUT, until you know what is ahead, enjoy where you are now."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Have anxiety about the fall semester for your child? Coach Christine has an activity for you! 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster #CollegeParent

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A New Activity To Try And To Consider For Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Use Presence As A Reset
  • To Work On Processing Through Your Emotions

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you able to make fall plans for your family members as of yet?
  2. How are your thoughts about fall plans that may exist?

Episode Resources

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

First time here? Try these episodes & resources:

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 99 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 99: Anxiety Around My Child Going Back to School. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I hope that you are able to gift yourself with time to work on finding your future self, work on clearing up your thoughts in your days, process through emotions and do the work to uncover your future self. You are so worth it. A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode;  if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 99 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P99) I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:58

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:46

As I record this, it’s mid-June 2020, some of our children know what their school has planned for them in the fall, some of our children do not. Some schools will be in session, in-person. Some schools will not: elementary, high school, or college. The anxiety around what could happen is real and if left unchecked, could add more stress to you and your household than you already have. In this episode, we are going to assume that your thought deliveries are out of control when you think about your child going back to school.

00:03:19

A couple of things to keep in mind is to please remember that no matter what is announced right now, more than likely your child’s school is still working out thousands of details to make it all happen, whatever the plan is. So if you only get an email with some dates, and a line that says “more details coming soon,” understand that in most cases, the details aren’t known yet, but you’ll know eventually. Also remember that even though it was announced (if it was), things can change. 2020 is the year of pivot, after all, isn’t it? so don’t be surprised if things change yet again.

00:03:57

Now for you, my friend, this is a perfect opportunity to work on training your Protector, on using tools in your CEO toolbox and to work on presence. I cover these in two series on my podcast and you’ll find the links to both in my show notes.  I could just leave it there and end the episode but, how about I give you a new activity to do, that if it works for you, you can add to your toolbox? I want you to discover your main thoughts about your child returning to school and to dig deep on whether or not they are true, and I want you to consciously consider if the thoughts you are having are worth having in this present moment.

00:04:40

GPS Flock Members, I’ll have a PDF for you in our space, if you would like to print it out. If you aren’t a flock member, you may use any piece of paper. At the top of the paper, I want you to write “Back to School.” Then draw two lines to section the paper into quarters. For each quarter I want you to write in the center, at the top of that box, an emotion that you are feeling. Do three of these and in the bottom left corner box I’d like you to write “Peaceful” at the top of that box, no matter what. I’m challenging you here, and I’d like you to write it down even though you may not feel that way.

00:05:16

For each box, I’d like you to then do the part of our CEO Analysis tool where we work through describing how the emotion feels in your body, whether it is positive or negative and give it a number from 1-10, gut reaction there. I’d also like you to consider if this box allows you to move forward in your life at all.  If it does, put a checkmark on it. If you only have one emotion that you’re feeling, that’s totally fine. You’ll have your emotion box then, and the peaceful box in the bottom right. Now, fill in the peaceful box. Pretend for a moment that you are peaceful, and imagine how you would feel if you felt that way. Fill in how your body would feel, whether it’s positive or negative and on a scale from 1-10.

00:06:04

When you’re done. I’d like you to turn the page over and walk away from it. If those emotions come up while you’re away from it, remind yourself that you wrote them down, and can jump into them at any time. But for now, you are going to be present. Go to a place where you can calmly focus on presence. If you’ve never done this before, start with only two minutes. If you’ve done it often, try five or ten. Focus on details of your body, your surroundings. Use all of your senses, or use a sense that you don’t think about normally, maybe it’s something you smell in the air. Look for details that you wouldn’t have noticed had you not gifted yourself with this time. You could look deeply at the wrinkles on your hand, and count them. You could smell the air around you. You could consider your posture and see if you can feel energy within your body. These are just examples. For me, I like to go outside, sit in the grass and look at leaves on trees.

00:07:07

When you feel you’ve had enough time, either go back to the paper that you had started, or if you feel peaceful and want to let it go at that, let it go. There really are no rules here. At some point, you’ll probably head back to that sheet. If you easily find yourself back in one of the emotions that you listed on that sheet, when you think about your child heading back to school, or not heading back to school, whatever the fall looks like for them, then give yourself permission to sit in that emotion. Know you are strong enough to get to the other side of it. Allow yourself the gift of processing through the emotion. While you are in this emotion, see if you can find the primary thought that is causing it for you. Write down the thought if you do. Put it right in that box. Then ask yourself if the thought is true, and is there anything in this moment that you can do about it? 

00:08:05

When you feel you’ve gone through the emotion, and feel you can move on, either gift yourself with more presence, as like a break, or head to the peaceful box on that same page, and write down a thought that you can believe that moves you to more peaceful than you are now. It doesn’t have to be fully peaceful. You’re just taking a baby-step forward.  So write down a thought that you can believe that moves you to more peaceful than you are now.  These baby-steps are powerful. 

00:08:38

Work through this page as you feel led, giving yourself permission to sit in the emotions that you feel, to adjust as you progress, and gift yourself with presence time when you feel confusion about the topic. When you begin to look at the page with clarity on thoughts and can begin to see action items, turn the page over and write the action items down. Any action item should be placed on your calendar with a time to do it, meaning, I’m going to do this on Tuesday, and give myself an hour. Recognizing that that is enough in this moment.

00:09:13

Let’s be real for a moment, none of us knows what the future holds. I think 2020 has proven that. Could your child get the coronavirus and bring it home? Yes, and also no. Both are a possibility. Educating yourself and your child on best practices is about all you can do. Unless your child never leaves the house, the possibility is there, school or no school. Could your child’s school be all online? Sure, it might be, but I know you and your child will be able to handle the change if it comes to that. It may not be what you want, or what they want, or what anyone wants, but life isn’t guaranteed to be what we want. It isn’t guaranteed to be easy, either. Look, life is going to have things that aren’t pleasant. It happens but why live in those moments before they happen?  They might not even happen.

00:10:06

You have the choice to resist a situation or to process through feelings and move on. But until you know what is ahead 100 percent, enjoy where you are now. Enjoy your children being home, if they are, because I’m willing to bet that if they’ve been home for months on end, they aren’t going to rush home anytime soon once they are able to leave.  Prepare the best you can, but also find peace where you can. Allow yourself the gift of feeling your feelings. You are worth it. Keep in mind that your worry over what may happen isn’t helping anyone, especially you. So rather than living in the what-ifs, live in the now with conscious time spent on how to move forward. 

00:10:52

Of course, should you need assistance with navigating your thoughts with this, I am available to the GPS Support Flock Members in multiple ways:  workshops, group support calls, forum questions and more. I have created an online quiz for you to discover if the Support Flock is a good fit for you. If you are curious, fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for the quiz and another community option for my podcast listeners. Or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me with the words “Flock membership.” I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend! [Music] 

00:11:33

The questions I have for you in this episode are: are you able to make fall plans for your family members as of yet? How are your thoughts about fall plans that may exist? [Music]

00:11:52

My Empty Nest friend, we have two quick tips coming to you from a couple of my 2020 Quick Tips Team members: the amazing Susan Stevens and Deirdre Dolan Nesline. You’ll absolutely be able to tell that they both submitted these tips before social distancing. But, here’s the thing, podcasts are out here for a long time, so my hope is that one day they both will make perfect sense again. As I record this, hair salons aren’t allowed to be open. I’m desperately waiting for Susan’s to open so I can get my hair cut. Anyway, thanks for your tips, Susan & Deirdre! [Music] 

00:12:28

Susan:  Susan Stevens, passionate, professional hairstylist, 25 years. My best anti-aging advice, book a consultation at a salon for a new style. Get your hair cut, add some color. Talk to your salon professional about using a dry shampoo and not shampooing every day. Spring is around the corner, and change is truly empowering. [Music]

00:12:54

Deirdre:  Hi, it’s Deirdre from Declutter by Deirdre, and the Magnificent Aging podcast. My tip for this month is donate your gardening equipment and the tools that you’re no longer using to a volunteer chore service or an organization like HomeFront or Habitat for Humanity. Big and small workable tools that will help them restore someone’s home to a clean, safe dwelling are appreciated, and bonus, if you’re lonely or bored, volunteer with some of these organizations and make some caring friends.  Thanks so much for listening. I appreciate you. [Music]

00:13:42

Christine:  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Never forget, my friend, that you are amazing! See ya!

[End]

[Bloopers / Still Listening]

[End]

97: Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter

97: Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

When you do the work on yourself, when you train your protector well, it becomes apparent what you need to do and when you need to do it - and that includes speaking up for others.

In this episode, I share my thoughts on why I did this episode, my thoughts on black lives matter, and I bring to your ears three beautiful voices.

Do you want to skip my section entirely? Jump to the 07:52 minute marker. 💚

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Black lives matter is a freaking cry for equality. It isn’t about taking anything away from others; it’s a cry for someone (those who have the power to do something) to listen and to take action."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Guests

Allyssa Jones

Composer. Performer. Educator.

Allyssa shares her song, "Change the World" with us.

Valerie Albarda

Midlife-A-Go-Go

Valerie shares her thoughts on being a black woman in America.

Tiana Morton

Teacher, social justice and equality advocate, and mother to a black boy in America

Tiana shares with us a letter to her son.

New Episode! 🎙No empty nest talk today.  💚 Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter - thanks to my guests  @MidlifeAGoGo  Tiana Morton and @msallyssajones  for sharing your voice with us #newepisode #podcast #podcaster

Click to Tweet

Episode Resources & Places to Start

Change the World:

from the EP After Hours by Allyssa Jones released May 26, 2016

Produced by The Audio Outfit

Written by Khalel Pritchard, Apollo Payton, & Jahmal White 

Background Vocals: Allyssa Jones & Khalel Pritchard

Additional Vocals: Apollo Payton

Bass: James Gurrier

Arranged by Jahmal White

Mixed by Andy Pinkham

Recorded by Apollo Payton at Levels Studio (Boston, MA)

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 97 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


[Music: Change the World Intro: Allyssa Jones]

Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine - Episode #97  Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter

00:12

Hello, my beautiful friend! 

Normally on this podcast I share coaching tips for women freaking out about the empty nest ahead. This is my gift, my passion and what I do, but today, this episode is not about empty nesting, it is about the current happenings in this world. You can choose to think this is a political episode and walk away right now. I can’t change that and I won’t let someone’s potential thoughts about me impact who I show up as today on my platform - the platform that I have created. Also, if you decide that what I am speaking about means anything other than what I say in this episode - that is your thought about me. And, yes, your thoughts about me are outside of my fence. 

00:56

The information in this episode is not sugar coated and contains sensitive content. I will leave it at that and you do what you will. Links to everything I mention in this episode will be available in my show notes. 

The Black Lives Matter movement isn’t political. It is human. 

1:14

Nothing I teach is meant for you as an excuse to take no action. Actually quite the opposite - I’m all about momentum in your life. Simmering isn’t inaction. Simmering is providing yourself the space to figure out what action to take. I can’t control you - and wouldn’t want to - I coach on how you can consciously work your way to the best action for you and future you. The action you take is ALWAYS within your control. The action YOU take isn’t due to what someone else does or says - it is purely on what goes on in your head based on your life’s happenings. So make sure, my friend, that you actually choose something. 

02:01

For me, I’ve seen the happenings outside my fence, recently, and over my lifetime that have caused me anguish. I’ve felt sadness (still do), I’ve felt anger (still do). And now, through the work in my life, I consciously notice the thoughts and the feelings, I’m not on autopilot anymore and I’m choosing not to allow the happenings outside of my fence to keep me quiet. 

I’ve done the self-coaching work to move my emotions around to love. Love is more powerful for ME. Love contains hope for me, and I love my fellow humans. My way of taking action may not look like yours. I won’t spend my time and energy on worrying about what you do with this message - that is for you to figure out - I’m choosing to spend my time in love. 

02:48

Love drove me, this week, to un whitewash my instagram feed this week. I’m ashamed but my feed looked a lot like the high school I attended. It still does, but I’m working to correct that - for those who graciously allow me to follow them. 

Love drove me to listen and find ways to support the cause outside of protesting - until I can there are other ways to help - one example is you can support  campaign zero The comprehensive platform of research-based policy solutions to end police brutality in America. Sure you can donate money but you can also donate your time and help them with research - what better way to educate yourself? 

03:27

Love drove me to create this episode:

Why Black Lives Matter? 

The sad truth is that black lives have continually been shown through actions of others that their lives don’t matter.

When a man begs for his life in a public lynching - he was executed without a legal trial - in the streets of Minneapolis in 2020 and the murderer and those participating in his murder were initially protected by not being charged with a crime (law enforcement officer or not) - this shows that black lives don’t matter.

04:03

When a white woman who is asked by a bird-watching black man to put her dog on a leash to follow local ordinances decides to call the cops on him and chooses to blatantly lie that he is attacking her knowing that her word will be taken over his - In this, we show that black lives don’t matter. 

When we as a society do nothing about the lives that are taken for a human being simply doing human things we show that black lives don’t matter.  

When we see that a community is dying at a higher rate from COVID-19 and we do nothing, we show that black lives don’t matter.

04:42

Continually shutting down peaceful protests; tear gassing men, women, and children shows that black lives don’t matter. 

Gaslighting those who know what they stand for, KNOW what they are marching for and telling them that no, what you are marching for is really something else entirely - you are encouraging these things. We show that black voices don’t matter. 

05:05

Black lives matter is a freaking cry for equality. It isn’t about taking anything away from others, it’s a cry for someone, those who have the power to do something to listen and to take action. 

I’ll be honest I can’t stomach watching the video of George Floyd’s murder- personally, I can’t imagine that anyone could watch it - in part or in full without wanting justice.

I am a mother, and when I see George Floyd on the ground in the glimpses of video and photos, I see a man begging for his life. I also see four awful law enforcement officers treating him like gum on their shoe. I clearly see a message that black lives don’t matter. 

05:48

[sighs] It breaks my heart the reality that black mothers have - they have to teach their children (boys AND girls) how to respond properly to a police officer in order to make it home alive - I don’t know about you but I didn’t have that lesson in my home. 

The fear that black parents have for their children and our lack of concern over it - that shows that black lives don’t matter. 

06:16

How well, my friend, do you do when no one listens to you? When you try everything possible to get someone to hear you and no one listens. Better yet, they tell you, “stop being so loud and angry.” Yeah, that feels good doesn’t it? 

I am happy to report that over the last few days while I assembled this episode that protests have happened in all fifty states and that all four officers involved in the murder of George Floyd have been charged. 

This is progress. But we aren’t done. We need a world where it doesn’t take more than a week of protests in all fifty states to see the beginning of justice. 

06:50 

Keep in mind, too, watch the media and you’ll think that all protestors loot and riot - watch the media and you think that all cops are bad. Search out the Flint, Michigan moments and use those to drive you forward. There is a lot more peace in the world than we are shown in the media.

And, please, don’t forget to vote. Many law enforcement roles are brought in at a local level - if you can vote, use your voice there, and look at the system and who it benefits. 

I won't begin to pretend that I have always done well with this - I know I haven’t - and for that I am sorry. I still have a lot to learn but I am done not using my voice. I am here to serve - even when stumbling. 

07:39

As a side note, and an important one, If you are okay with what happened to George Floyd, please don’t bother purchasing my offerings - my membership group - it is a safe space for ALL. 

07:52

My amazing listener, I invite you now to hear the two beautiful voices of Valerie Alberta and Tiana Morton who have agreed to share thoughts they shared with us on Instagram this week - thoughts that I feel needs to be heard. Tiana is a teacher, social justice and equality advocate and mother to a black boy in America. 

Valerie is the host of [the] Midlife-A-Go-Go podcast - if you remember, she and I had a lovely conversation on her podcast in March. She’s absolutely lovely, I only wish we had our conversation in person. 

I also welcome the incredibly talented Allyssa Jones who graciously shares her song, Change the World with us. Friends in high school, Allyssa and I were also roommates one summer when we both worked at Busch Gardens Williamsburg - same stage different show - how cool is that? She’s unfathomably talented. As a singer with only a small percentage of the talent that Allyssa has, I’ve always been incredibly inspired by her. Allyssa has multiple albums available and one of my favorite songs of hers is 14 Jeans from her album 35 - definitely give that song and all of her songs a listen - oh and she has a FAB podcast titled That Spinster Life where she shares leaps of faith with the world.

09:12

I ask you to take the opportunity to support these women as they share their gifts with the world. 

I will now explain how the next segment of this episode will arrive in your ears, at the sound of the first breath, it will represent when four officers began to end the life of George Floyd by Derek Chauvin placing his knee on the neck of George Floyd. The remainder of this episode will be the amount of time that police officer Derek Chauvin kept his knee on George Floyd’s neck: eight minutes and 46 seconds. Eight minutes and 46 seconds according to a NY Times article - which I have linked yes, in my show notes. Even after George Floyd lost consciousness, Derek Chauvin did not remove his knee. 

10:00

Eight minutes and 46 seconds is how long FOUR officers involved in George Floyd’s arrest chose to ignore the man on the ground who told them that he couldn’t breathe, and allowing his life to be expired. The initial fallout for the police officers? Fired - not charged for anything. 

This is why we need to be reminded that BLACK LIVES MATTER. 

10:26

During the next eight minutes and 46 seconds of this podcast, I will read the names of some other victims between what Tiana, Valerie and Allyssa have shared with us, today. Please know that the list of victims that I read to you is only a partial list, and that Allyssa’s song will be cut off when Derek Chauvin finally decided to remove his knee.

I will censor the f word - only because it limits who will listen to this podcast, but to be perfectly frank with you, if I were in person with these beautiful ladies I’d have absolutely no problem with it because to be honest, it is warranted. Thank you to Tiana, Valerie, and Allyssa for sharing your voices with us today.  

This next segment my friend is why we need to be reminded that Black Lives Matter. I ask that you listen to it in full without speeding up the audio. 

Thank you.

11:23

George Floyd, 46 2020

[Breathe]

11:28

Valerie: I’m a black woman in America. I have black nephews in America. Ask me what really scares me.

I have two nephews. One is in his thirties, the other is nine years old. In fact, he just turned nine, two weeks ago.  I fear for both of them. Let me repeat that. I FEAR FOR BOTH OF THEM. In this day, this year, this decade, this world … the life of a black person seems to count for so little. That seems especially true for a black man. But really . . . this is about being black in America.

In the midst of a pandemic, we’re dealing with stuff that should have been squashed DECADES ago. Anyone who thinks racism doesn’t exist in this country has their head firmly stuck in the sand. If that’s you, I hope you’re enjoying the view. My view is different.

12:32

As a black woman, I see the looks. I hear the words whispered under breaths. I could get angry. Shit, I DO get angry. But I won’t be baited into being the angry black woman that society has painted me and other women out to be. But you know what? We have a right to be angry. We have a right to raise our voices – either alone or as a collective – because what’s happening to us is appalling. And I’m scared.

I’m scared that, one of these days, I’ll be pumping gas and I’ll be assaulted because of the color of my skin. Or I’ll be stopped by the police as I drive down the street in my little red convertible, knowing that even if I’m respectful, say “Yes, ma’am” or “Yes sir,” keep my hands on the steering wheel, show my credentials, do everything right, I could still become a victim. And please, if you’re not a black or brown person, don’t say, “But that could happen to anyone regardless of their race.” Not now. Not today.

This is what it’s like to be black in America. I’m afraid for my nephews. And for myself. And for my family. And for every other black and brown person in this country. My fear is palpable. How long must we be afraid to leave our homes? How f***ing long?

14:04

[Breath]

Christine: Breonna Taylor, 26 years old, 2020

[Breath]

Trayvon Martin, 17 years old, 2012

14:20

Tiana:  To my black son,

When I look at you, I see how beautiful you are. I know that you are incredibly sweet and thoughtful. I know that you are willing to extend generosity and grace to everyone, even when they are less deserving. I’ve watched your smile and energy light up an entire room. I’ve watched your tears flow and your head hang low, when you see a homeless person or someone in need. I’ve witnessed you in deep thought, figuring out how you can make a difference in the lives of those around you. I know just

how much physical confrontation scares you and how you run home because you know where your safe place is. As your mom, I want to protect you from life’s heartbreaks, but there is one thing I cannot protect you from, the one thing I fear most. As a mother of a black son in America, I wish I didn’t have to strip you of your innocence at such young age. I wish that our reality wasn’t sitting in our living after dinner, rehearsing different scenarios and training you on how to make it back home alive after an

encounter with police, all while wiping your tears because you can’t fully understand. I wish I could protect you from how the world sees you. I often think, what happens when “Wow! He’s only ten? He is big for is age!” turns into “That’s one big ass black dude!” What happens when the son I know becomes the “threat” that they don’t? What happens when you can no longer run home? Every day I let you walk out that front door, I pray that I have given you the skills to handle any situation you encounter. The

lessons will change as you grow. But what else can I teach you right now because your blackness with NEVER change, but will ALWAYS be challenged? The best I can do is fight to change that always to never.

Son, until I can honestly say “Your blackness will never change and NEVER be challenged.”, I will fight for you. I will fight for us.

16:26

I want you to know that you are not less than, your blackness is not a crime. Your blackness is worthy, your blackness is beautiful, your blackness is powerful, regardless of what this world tells you.

I will fight for you; I will fight for us.

Love you most,

Mom

16:46

[Breath]

Christine: Tamir Rice, 12 years old , 2014

[Breath]

Eric Garner, 43, 2014

[Breath]

[Breath]

17:03

[Music: Change the World, Allyssa Jones]