You are a mother of a high school student, and you are freaking out about the empty nest ahead? Together we will channel your freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy! You will THRIVE as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college. ~ Christine, Your Empty Nest Coach
75: The Not So Empty Nest (COVID-19 Social Distancing) Number 4 with Katy Oliveira, March 19, 2020
Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend!
In our Not So Empty Nest series, today I chat with College Success Strategist Katy Oliveira. If your child doesn’t already know about Katy, it might be time to introduce them to her. She has a podcast that helps them to become their best selves through college!
Take a listen or read the full transcript below.
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
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Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #69 of my podcast.
[Music: Intro – fades out]
Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #69 of my podcast. If this is your first time listening, I invite you to check out my Friday episodes, as well, where I provide bite-sized coaching assistance to guide you along your empty nest transition years – this is an amazing time of our lives but it is easy to forget that through the bumps in the road in our journey. My hope is that you discover how amazing you are and find the excitement in your years ahead.
A reminder that a list of all of the Quick Tips Team members and their contact information may be found on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com – look for the Quick Tips Team button on the home page.
And, of course, if you have a quick tip that you would like to share with listeners of this podcast, I would LOVE to share it with them, or if a quick tip, that has already been shared here, really resonated with you, let us know. See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast. Happy recording, friend!
Wait, Christine, where are the show notes? That might help you, huh? You’ll find those in the description of this episode – on Apple Podcasts click, “Details”; on Spotify, Click “See More,”: on Overcast press the I for information – button – Get the idea?
Or of course, visit my website for full show notes with links to everything we discuss in this episode and a full episode transcript – those reside at your empty nest coach dot com forward slash p for podcast and 69 (for this episode’s number). I can’t wait to hear from you.
[Music: Sponsor Music]
Thanks! Thank you. It’s time to thank our sponsor. This Quick Tips episode is sponsored by my community: the Green Popsicle Sticks. Ready to find the GPS of your life? Then sign up for my Thursday Thoughts about email where you will gain immediate access to the GPS Life Principles document, and will receive a link to join our community – and it is all FREE! See the link in this episode’s show notes, or head to my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com and click the Thursday Thoughts About button to get started. See you there!
We are going to jump right into the tips from our team members, they’ve been introduced in prior quick tips episodes. If you are new to this podcast, be sure to check out our earlier quick tips episodes. First up is Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveller.
[Music: Guest Intro]
Travelling light has started to flow over into my day to day life. My family are noticing how I am becoming more minimalistic. My daughter heads off to college this year (in NZ, we say, going to uni or university).
Interestingly as she has packed her gear up, she’s thinking about what goes with what, how many pairs of jeans she needs, tee shirts, jumpers, and that kind of thing…. Clearly, she has heard me talk about “take what you need,” which was my last tip.
So she does take what she needs…
But the rest of it she leaves right here at home…
I remember when I left home, I was studying nursing, and we learned about the stages of life, including the empty nest. I went home and told my mother (who like me now, clearly knows nothing about the world!)… I told my mum that she was experiencing the empty nest syndrome. Well, that went down really well.
With one look, I got the message loud and clear – but she also added- I love that you leave home, but you keep bringing your STUFF back”.
Clearly, she was in a state of denial. And 18 year old me humoured her by quickly changing the subject. Quite possibly a life-saving decision.
But now I’m in that same spot – kids leaving home and leaving their stuff behind.
Anyway, I’m pleased that she’s learning something from me as she heads out into the big wide world.
So, my tip today is – TAKE LESS!
You cannot travel light without reducing what you take.
I make sure that all the clothes I take can be worn in multiple ways and with multiple items. Three tops and three skirts or pants that go well together can be made into nine different outfits. Add a cardigan or a scarf, and that makes so many more ways to change your look.
I generally stick to one colour or versions of it and some accent colours. My personal preference is navy blue with an accent colour, but you could do black, grey, or any other color. In my minimal travel wardrobe, everything works well together and can be layered if it gets cold.
In New York in December, I wore – three SmartWool layers, a puffer jacket, and a long wool coat, and I was lovely and warm. Of course, I also had my scarf, my hat and gloves, and my warm boots – essential winter gear!
But because they all went well together, it was really easy to wear everything together and to layer them up. So take less. Happy light travels!
[Music: Guest Intro]
Hi! I’m Dierdre from DeClutter by Deirdre, a senior move management company, and your host of the Magnificent Aging podcast. My tip for this month is: do not accept items out of guilt, that you don’t want, from family members who are doing their own decluttering or organizing so that they can move or age in place.
Thank them for thinking of you and ask them to pass that item on to someone else.
Thanks for listening. I appreciate you!
Jo, our humorous observations team member is up next.
[Music: Guest Intro]
The empty nest feeling is quite a shock for many, but you do get used to it, and you develop a lovely quiet, ordered life with time to pursue your own interests and hobbies and spend a lot of time with your partner.
And then the kids come home again.
Prepare to spend your life savings in the supermarket only to be told, “Mom, there’s nothing to eat.”
And when they do eat, it’s 14 packets of cereal, and not knowing what to do with the empty milk carton, they’ll put it straight back in the fridge.
They manage to pack for a full-week trip in about ten minutes, and yet it takes them a whole week to unpack when they get home.
When they do unpack, they put everything – and I mean everything – in the wash. This often includes sweet wrappers, coins, earphones, you name it.
When you return their washing – all clean and ironed, it goes straight onto the floordrobe.
They no longer consider, “What did I just say?” as a threat, but more of a genuine question and the TV is permanently tuned to either the sports channel or reality tv
But you know what? I don’t care about any of it. Like most parents, I will do whatever it takes to make home be somewhere they will come back to.
But when they go again, and it’s just my husband and I, I feel like the empty nest is okay, too.
[Music: Guest Intro]
Hi Rachel Lankester here, midlife mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com. My top tip today is to remember that we don’t dismiss the coppery leaves of autumn in favour of the spring blossom. Both are beautiful, they’re just different. The same applies to your beauty as you age.
[Music: Guest Intro]
Hi, this is Katy Oliveira, your college student’s success strategist. And today’s quick tip is to place less emphasis on the importance of a college major and more emphasis on encouraging your student to engage in relevant experiences that build their skill set and their network.
At the end of the day, skills, experiences, and relationships are what prepare your student for opportunities and open the door to employment, not a particular major.
How many people do you know who aren’t working in a field directly related to their major? I know, for me, it’s most people.
And of those, how many use their skills, experiences, knowledge, or relationships that they acquired studying their college major?
I know most of the folks I talk to on my podcast, often cite using knowledge or skills in their college experience in their current and unrelated profession.
What makes the major important isn’t the major itself, but the major’s ability to hone your student’s strengths, develop your student’s skills, showcase your student’s talents, and connect students to a network of mentors and peers.
Yes, there are still some classic professions that still require specific certifications and credentials that come with studying a specific major, like accounting, teaching, and nursing. But, more and more, people are preparing for professional opportunities that don’t yet exist during college.
This may seem terrifying, but in fact, I find it to be an exciting opportunity for your student to use their unique combination of skills, perspectives, and experience to find fulfilling and viable work no matter how the workforce changes over time.
The key is not locking your student into one specific job role, but instead, helping them understand what they bring to the table and using education and experience to continually personally, and professionally grow and develop so that your student can pivot whenever they need to.
[Music: Guest Intro]
This is Coach Christine, again, wrapping up with a tip for you today about when to seek help.
Do you know what takes courage?
Seeking help when you need it.
Sometimes we need an impartial outsider to see what we are blocking in our life.
I look at it as three levels of guidance:
Level I would be self-help: This is when you are content with where you are in life, happy with your progress, and enjoying the journey you are on – books, podcasts, chats with friends are all you need.
I see level II as when you need Outside Specialty Guidance: This is for when you are on the right path, or see glimmers of it, and are ready to expedite your journey ahead. You are brave enough to share your thoughts, and prepared to process them with another who will – with your best intentions in mind – do the following:
provide a safe listening space for you to share
guide you to see the speed bumps you have placed in your life
suggest tools and resources in your journey
encourage you to feel the feelings that come up and to
question everything with love
The best outside guidance will let you know when you are ready to fly on your own in self-help (with maybe some maintenance) or will let you know when they are no longer able to serve you. Should you want me to be that person for you, I, of course, offer:
An online program & Text Coaching
The GPS Exec Monthly Membership
And coming soon will be The CEO of Your Life Online Boot Camp
And the final Level I look at is Level III and you would need Professional Help: This is when If you can’t function in life, maybe you are having suicidal thoughts, or getting out of bed is a massive win for you, regularly, this is when you should seek professional help in the form of a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, or therapist.
Look for one who specializes in the area you need help in – Callan Olive shares more on this in an episode #23 of my podcast. Be sure to listen if you’re not sure where you need to head.
I hope this helps you in all areas of your life and take Level III, that final one, seriously if you are there. You are worth it.
[Music: Back to Christine]
Thanks for listening, today! If you enjoyed this episode, and want the next quick tips episode to make its way to you in your favorite app, take a moment to subscribe to this podcast – it’s free, after all!
My next episode is titled “Becoming the CEO of Your Life: Part 5 of 5.” Did you hear the first four? Are you curious? Well, I hope so! If you are subscribed to my podcast, you’ll find it in your feed on Friday by 6 AM. You can start listening to that series right now with episodes 64, 65, 67 and 68!
[GPS Exec Thank you music]
Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to my GPS Execs: the executive producers of my podcast! Visit my website or see my show notes for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Exec, where you will gain bonus access to me – and more!
Thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please tell a friend about it.
And my empty nest and CEO of Your Life friend, please remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!