Category: Rachel Lankester

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

We are back with another Quick Tips episode with some 2020 Your Empty Nest Coach Quick Tips Team members and a special guest. Enjoy!

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 95 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #95  of my podcast. 

[Music: Intro]

00:10

I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:47

If this is your first time listening, I invite you to check out my Friday episodes, as well, where I provide bite-sized coaching assistance to guide you along your empty nest transition years - should your nest be not quite as empty as you expected it to be, be sure to check out my twelve episode Not-So-Empty-Nest series that was produced during the start of my social distancing. I hope you and your family are healthy and safe, and that yes, even now, in a world of restrictions, that you discover how amazing you are and find excitement at a level you didn’t know is possible for your years ahead. 

00:01:21

A reminder that a list of all of the Quick Tips Team members and their contact information may be found on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com - look for the Quick Tips Team button  - or menu - on the home page. 

If you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast, I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast either through SpeakPipe or by calling (or texting) my Google Voice number.. Happy recording, friend!

01:50

But, Christine, where are the show notes? Well, that might help you, huh? You’ll find those in the description of this episode - on Apple Podcasts click, “Details”; on Spotify, Click “See More,”: on Overcast press the I for information - button - Get the idea? 

Or, of course, visit my website for full show notes with links to everything we discuss in this episode and a full episode transcription - those reside at your empty nest coach dot com forward slash p for podcast and 95 (for this episode’s number). I can’t wait to hear from you.

02:23

[Music: Sponsor Music] 

Thanks! Thank you. It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest, our GPS Life Principles document - you will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode’s show notes, or fly on over to my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button. See you there! 

03:09

First up today is Jo Davies our Humorous Observations expert: 

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Jo: So we all know Christine is an authority on the whole ‘back to college thing’, and for me, this whole lockdown feels a bit being back at school. You’re forced to be somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, I love my home, but I don't want to be in it all the time and somehow being made to stay at home feels completely different from just choosing to stay at home.

Have to spend all day everyday with the same people. This was a good thing for me at school because I loved my friends, and thankfully I love my family so happy to get to spend this time with them.

You do sports every day: to try and stay fit and also because it's actually a fun thing for us all to do together and gets us outside if we’ve been in for too long.

We seem to be learning something everyday. Not necessarily maths and English, but patience and calm and also in my case that after 10 loaves, I still can't make a baguette. I’ve also learnt that if you live off cake mix and then cake, you will get fat....who knew? My kids have learnt that if you leave things on the top of the dishwasher they won't get clean and that the same applies to leaving washing on the floor by the washing machine.

I have learnt that Duolingo thinks that I am 6% Spanish, but no one else does and that 6% is about as Spanish as I’m gonna get.

04:19

I have learnt that Zoom feels like magic and the best invention ever for about 2 goes and then it turns into the worst TV show ever.

The other thing that reminds me of the school is that there are cheats. There are people that feel the rules don't apply to them and there are some that bend them and some who go so far as to break them completely: visiting friends, driving to parks, to going for a walk, getting together in groups. And just like in school, I seethe on the inside, anger bubbling just below the surface and my 15-year-old’s desire to be cool and liked and appear laid back resurfaces and I just smile and say ‘whatever’.

I am looking forward to the school holidays. To being able to go out and do whatever I want to do when I want to do it. I feel myself turning into a teenage rebel and in some weird role reversal, I fear it will be my children who restrict my movements as they try and keep their ‘ageing parents’ (Their words, not mine) safe from whatever comes next.

05:09

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Rachel: Hello! Rachel Lankester here, midlife mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com. My top tip today is to be a bit more whale. There are two creatures that go through menopause: human females and whales. When whales go through menopause, they become the leaders of their pods. Often, for fifty odd years! We can also be more useful to our communities as leaders than as breeders. 

05:41

[Music: Guest Exit]  

Susan: Susan Stevens here with your beauty tip. Do I need to swap shampoo with the seasons? In the summer your hair has to defend itself against more enemies, such as the sun, sea salt, excess sweat, and chlorine, so switching to a gentler shampoo can help to keep your hair soft without stripping it of its natural oils. Especially at this time when essential workers are shampooing and cleansing more often, you definitely want to use a more mild shampoo, and definitely lots of conditioning. A Little Roomie for Your Soul: “Surrender. If you are a seeker of union, find your place in the heart of nothingness. While still in the cage of your being, behold the spirit bird before it flies away. Since you were once drunk on eternity, pick up the sword of now, and strike the ego. Remove the dregs of separation. 

Become pure so the cup of  true reality can be filled with the pure wine of spirit.

06:37 

[Music: Guest Exit]

Christine: Susan just shared an excerpt from the book Rumi’s Little Book of Life: The Garden of the Soul, the Heart, and the Spirit. I will put a link to it into my show notes. Thanks, Susan! 

06:50

[Music: Guest Intro]

Gretchen: Hi. This is Gretchen Hoffmann, your Planner Freak. Today I just wanted to take a minute to share a really cool planning technique that I heard about recently from an old college friend. My friend Joan and her husband recently moved to New York City after selling the home where they had raised their children. Both of their kids are all grown up and now like so many of us they’re Empty Nesters. She and her husband Robert decided they wanted to spend a few years soaking up city life before they decided on their next move. Now, Joan has always been one of the most organized women I know. She is never late for an appointment, she never forgets a birthday, she has enough time for work, travel, exercise, and to spend with her family and friends. She really is Amazing!

07:39

You know what the most amazing part to me is, though? In  spite of everything she has on her plate she never seems frazzled, she always seems in control. She’s fantastic!  I, on the other hand, sometimes seem to be chasing my own tail because, although I am a good multitasker, it’s often difficult for me to stick with my main priorities for the day. Because of this, I am absolutely fascinated by how people do organize and plan their days. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, and helping people to plan their days. 

08:10

I  recently asked Joan what her trick was and I was actually surprised by how simple it was. She told me she keeps a paper planner on her desk where she writes everything down that she has to do and then she schedules everything on its own specific day. Then, here’s the important part, every morning she picks out the three main things she needs to accomplish that day. It can be personal or work related but she always keeps it to three. These are her key action items and she assigns them numbers in her mind … one, two and three. Simple enough, right? Then as she goes through her day and completes each of the three items, she mentally checks off that number in her head. So once number one is done she moves on to number two -. You get the gist. This technique allows her to concentrate only on her most important tasks and it really gives her a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. Anything else she gets done that day is icing on the cake. But the really great part is she rarely has to move priority items from one day to the next in her planner. I feel like I am always moving one or two items at the end of the day to the next day’s schedule. Now I’m wondering if any of you have ever tried this technique and if it worked as well for you. Remember, “Plan your day, Love your day!’

09:25

[Music: Guest Intro]

Jenn: Hi, this is Jenn Musselman, your wardrobe/closet coach and I’m here for your next tip. The tip is shoes: shoes always, always, always set the tone for your outfit. Let’s think about it, I’m going to give you two pretty extreme different examples but keeping in mind the shoes, think of a nun, and think of a showgirl or a Rockette. Shoes make the outfit. I know, these are a little bit extreme examples, but it is true. So, think about wearing your favorite basic chunky sweater and your favorite pair of jeans, but pair it with a really cute glittery flat, a glitzy flat, a fun pair of funky converse sneakers. Shoes set the tone for the outfit. It’s the best accessory you can have. That’s my tip for today. 

[Music: Guest Intro] 

10:24

Deirdre: Hi, it’s Deirdre from DeClutter By Deirdre and the Magnificent Aging podcast. My hint for this month is banish loneliness. Call someone at least every other day. Go out into the world, and talk to people, Join a club: they have boating clubs, gardening clubs, card playing clubs, square dancing clubs - pick an interest and get involved. Get out there. Make it a point to engage with people. You won’t want to declutter if you’re lonely. Make some friends, engage people that you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. 

11:12

{Music: Guest outro]

Christine: So, I bet you can guess that Deirdre sent me this wonderful tip, pre-pandemic. She’s way on top of things, but her advice still stands. Sure, the groups may be online but the advice is great! You can research clubs to join now and see what they offer virtually. You can call others or meet with them online - this is a great time to meet others virtually in an area of interest. Let us know if you come up with a unique idea here, too.

And next up is Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveler - another wonderful human who sent me her tip, pre-pandemic, so the focus is on flying and how to pack light when flying. This is a great opportunity to make plans for lighter travel for when we are able to do so again. So, as you listen, think how you will travel in the future. 

 12:05

[Music: Guest intro]

Katherine: My last tip was to take less and to achieve this with a mix and match wardrobe - and I mentioned travelling to New York in winter and wearing layers. Quite surprisingly I did go to New York with just 5 kilos (11 pounds ) of gear. How, you may ask? Well, I wore my heavy and bulky gear on the plane, and that’s my tip for today – when flying wear your bulky and heavy clothing (not that anything is overly heavy in my bag).

Now I’m not talking about wearing a big coat and filling the pockets with everything in your bag –although there are coats out there for this purpose – personally, I can’t think of anything worse. I’d look like the Michelin Man – ridiculous!

12:54

So my trick is I wear my heavier and bulkier gear. I wore my boots on the plane as they take up so much room in my small bag – and I didn’t really take them off the whole time I was in New York. I wore my long and thickest socks on the plane too.

My long wool coat I carried and used as a blanket on the plane, which was just luxurious. I wore my pashmina too – and I so pleased I did as the plane temperature cools down on long-haul flights – I guess so you can sleep – but I was nice and toasty warm. My puffer jacket packs down quite small in my pack but I actually use it to wrap it round my neck as a travel pillow while flying – I go for practicality over fashion when flying for 16 hours from NZ.

I also wear a lot of merino or smartwool. It’s great for planes because it keeps you warm but you don’t overheat with it. I’ll tell you more about merino in my next tip session. So, yes, wearing your heavy and bulkier gear on planes will reduce the weight of your carry on bag. Have you given it a go yet? Happy light travels!

14:05

[Music: Guest outro]

Christine: Thanks Katherine. Next up is a guest submission who is back for a second time - the amazing Leah Carey. Enjoy..

[Music: Guest intro]

Leah:  Hi! I’m Leah Carey from the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast. If you want a different kind of touch from your partner but you’re not sure how to ask for it without hurting their feelings, try the Three Minute game. It’s easy, quick, and fun!

Have your partner lay down. Tell them that you are going to touch them any way

that they desire for three minutes and their only job is to tell you what they want,

then lay back and enjoy receiving it. Ask them, “How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” Start a timer for three minutes and do EXACTLY the thing they asked for. If they ask you to change the touch, do what they ask, but resist the urge to do ANYTHING other than what they’ve asked for – don’t get fancy!

When the alarm goes off, switch places and repeat. Now, your partner asks you,

“How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” And this is where you describe to them EXACTLY the kind of touch you would like.

I suggest the first few times you play, you keep it PG or PG-13, and leave the R rated sessions for once you’ve both gotten really comfortable clearly asking for what you want.  And then, if you like what you get, give them lots of positive reinforcement. Say later that night, “I loved the way you touched me earlier.” The next day, you could say, “I’m still thinking about the way you touched me yesterday.” And then the next time you’re getting frisky say, “Remember the way you touched me during the Three Minute Game? Would you do that again?” And don’t forget :they’ve now given YOU exact directions for what they enjoy, so use them! Here’s to your better sex life!

16:25

[Music: Guest intro]

Christine: Thanks for visiting with us again, Leah, my listener if you like what you just heard, Leah has a podcast created with so much more! Definitely check it out. 

My tip for you today is short and sweet: take a deep breath in, right now - go ahead - let the breath out - and on your next breath in, say to yourself, “I am amazing.” Then breathe out. Now do that for as many times as you need to begin to hear yourself saying it without any push back. 

17:03

[Music: Back to Christine]

Those are our tips for today. I am thrilled you listened!. If you enjoyed this episode, and want the next quick tips episode to make its way to you in your favorite app, take a moment - right now - to subscribe to this podcast - it’s free, after all!

Don’t forget that I have contact information for all of my 2020 Quick Tips Team members on my website! Be sure to click through, follow your favorites on their website - or social media pages -  and let them know you found them through this podcast!

17:32

[GPS Support Flock Thank you music]

Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to every member of my GPS Support Flock. I invite you to fly on over to my website or see my show notes for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Support Flock member where you will gain access to all of my programs, monthly workshops, group coaching, and more. See you there!

If you are able to do a screenshot of this episode now and share it on social media to help others to find it, that would be super helpful to me and the team. Tag me @emptynestcoach so that I may thank you. OR if you can think of one other person who would enjoy this podcast, please, don’t keep it a secret.

And should you be a regular subscriber to this podcast, can you take a moment and leave a five-star rating and review? That would be lovely!

18:27

[Music: Outro - fade out]

Of course, my amazing empty nest friend (or not so empty nest friend), always  remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!

18:36

Bloopers

18:51

Still listening? I recently slept outside on my deck. I love to camp solo - or with a few amazing women. Since I can’t do that right now, I decided to camp on my deck. No family members joined me and I am totally okay with that. Have you done anything like that recently? 

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