106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings 💚

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First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

• The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast Trailer 
• Series 1: Empty Nest Prep - starts at episode #3
• Series 2: The CEO of Your Life - starts at episode #64
• Series 3 (this one): The CEO Toolbox - starts at episode #88

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 106 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine.  Episode number 106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings, Parents! I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode and my next one are going to be on the shorter side. Well, at least that is my plan, as my daughter is gearing up to head back to campus a week from when this airs.

This is my fourth round of her heading back to or heading to college - yes, she’s heading into her senior year. I know that there is a level of anxiety that seeps into all we do. Even on the best years of on-campus returns, it is there. From all of us - yes, even my husband partakes in it. It manifests in different ways for each of us but it is there. I’ve seen it peek out in all of us over the last week. 

I’ve noticed it in me. I’ve bumped up my presence-work a bit. But before diving into the present, I do my best to name the emotion I’m feeling  - or at least to recognize how it feels in my body - and then I see if I can identify the thought that is causing it. If you are a regular listener of my podcast, you know the drill from here.  

00:01:50

Then, I work on pulling myself into the present, if the thought and emotion continues, I always find the more present I am; the less power that has on me, until eventually it has no power. That is the beauty of being present: “in the now,”  as Eckhart Tolle says. In Coach Christine speak, hmmm… kind of like that, 

It is as if, I wake up and check in with my protector. I ask them what the delivery is, I see it,  notice what it is doing to me (oh, there is a lump in my throat, my stomach feels off), and by noticing it, the power in that thought delivery begins to already subside. 

With that in mind, whether your child (or children) are heading back to campus or staying home - for whatever reason, I encourage you to feel those emotions. Trust that you are strong enough to process through them. Sometimes, by simply naming that it is anxiety, or it is nervousness, resentment, you manage to remove a layer (or sometimes ten layers) of that emotion that has a grasp on you.

00:02:54

Remember, you aren’t your emotions.  You aren’t your feelings. You aren’t even the thoughts that you have. You are an amazing human doing their best to get from one day to the next. Be kind to yourself. Gift yourself with love.

And, yes, whether your child is heading back to campus or not, I invite you to process through those emotions, and then use the extra time you have to spend some time hanging out with them. 

Give them the space to feel their emotions (of course you wouldn’t call it that, but you’ll know what you are doing) - some ideas would be to take a walk with them - destination (or no destination), have a coffee date, maybe play a board game that they loved as a child - it’s always fun to revisit things like this. 

00:03:40

Sometimes, we look back at board books or children’s books that were beloved in our house and we see the flaws in them or the things that we loved about them and it is a really fun discussion. So, while you are looking at the supplies they need for school, in the midst of all the doing of what needs to be done - be careful not to ignore what is going on behind all of those doing actions - for all of you.

Again, spend some time focused on your protector. Calm them down so that you may hold space for your family to see what lies behind their protectors. It is a gift that you will give you and your family - even if they are completely unaware of it. 

I’ll be back in a week with another quick bite episode. Now, my beautiful friend, those family members that live in your house and you don’t have to socially distance from, give them a hug - give them a  couple of extra ones this week  and create some memories.

00:04:37

And never forget that you are amazing. See ya! 

[Bloopers]

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

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