136: The Daily Experiment - When You Worry About Re-Grieving a Lost Child
Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,
Your Empty Nest Coach



"Emotions may arise and thatβs okay - youβre strong enough to get through them. Then youβll begin to take inventory on the thoughts - I call those thoughts your thought-deliveries. And for each one youβre going to ask yourself: βIs it true?β βDo I love this thought (or do I even like it)?β Consider if there is a way to adjust the thought in a way that allows you to show up better for yourself and the world now?"
Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.
βββ More goodies below, too! Scroll down β, so you don't miss anything! βββ
Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode When you worry about grieving a lost child:
This Episode is Brought To You By
- Your Empty Nest Coach, Christine - click to view all of my gifts for you!
- SupaPass powers our community*
Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers
- 00:40 Quick Reminders
- 01:42 Ask Coach Christine: Re-Grieving a Child
Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).
First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes
- The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast Trailer
- Series 1: Empty Nest Prep - starts at episode #3
- Series 2: The C.E.O. of Your Life - starts at episode #64 (Protector is introduced)
- Series 3: The C.E.O. Toolbox - starts at episode #88
Episode Resources
- Daily Episode Explainer: The Daily Experiment, Your Empty Nest Coach Style: My Wish For You Today & New Things #135
- Whatβs New: 1:1 Coaching Open Spots
* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.



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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 136
FULL TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00
Christine: Hi, Iβm Coach Christine. This is my podcast, itβs the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and weβre on episode #136. If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms Iβve used in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, Iβm all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. Youβll do this by leveling-up
[level-up music]
your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.
I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we goβ¦
00:00:40
Quick reminders: Iβm in the midst of super short daily episodes to combat a busy time in my life. For the details on that check out episode #135. Youβll find the answer to all of your questions, where Iβve been and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I love feedback on the episodes and if you enjoy this, donβt forget to subscribe or follow in your favorite podcast player. SupaPass who powers our online community - thatβs coming soon - is our fabulous episode sponsor.
00:01:08
[computer game level up music (short)]
Ask Coach Christine
I received this sobering question in my TikTok DMs. Tameria did give me permission to share her name, her question (although I did generalize it a bit), and my response to her. Here was Tameriaβs initial question to me:
Iβm listening to your podcast and enjoying it! I have a situation that I was wondering if you have dealt with. My first child died at a young age (cancer). My other child is a junior and I feel anxiety that I will re-grieve my first child while adjusting to the empty nest. Have you discussed bereaved parents on your podcast?
00:01:42
My response?
Thank you for reaching out Tameria. I have not covered this on my podcast thus far but you are the third person to ask me about this in the last couple of months so let me say a few words about it.
First of all, I donβt have words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Whether it was two weeks ago or twenty years ago. I canβt imagine anything more painful than losing a child. I personally have not experienced this myself, so I can only offer what I do when coaching any happening in our life - it is first to know you are strong enough to feel your emotions when they pop-in, and also know that youβll get to the other side of them.
Use those top of your C.E.O. toolbox items when the emotions begin to feel overwhelming: the hobbies that make you happy, the self-care routines that allow you to escape a bit - whatever those are for you. You can try adding βand thatβs okayβ to the end of statements you make in your mind - for example: βI miss my child... and thatβs okay.β βI wish my child would have been able to experience this... and thatβs okay I feel that way.β
Try those until you are in a place where you can do a little bit more thought-work. When you do feel you are ready for the next step, take out a piece of paper and write down all of the thoughts you are thinking. Give yourself a five minute timer if it helps.
Emotions may arise and thatβs okay - youβre strong enough to get through them.
Then youβll begin to take inventory on the thoughts - I call those thoughts your thought-deliveries. And for each one youβre going to ask yourself:
βIs it true?β
βDo I love this thought (or do I even like it)?β
Consider if there is a way to adjust the thought in a way that allows you to show up better for yourself and the world now?
One warning: be cautious of the βshould haveβ statements that tend to pop-up as those are usually indicators that you arenβt accepting a truth about where you are now.
For example: βMy child should have been able to experience this.β Honestly, yes, they absolutely should have. I wonβt argue that for a moment. However, if you continually focus on thoughts like these and spin on them, you donβt get to move into then thoughts like, βMy child would have loved this, and I will enjoy it for themβ - those types of thoughts.
I realize, also, I am saying this as if itβs easy.
None of this work is easy - even without adding a childβs early passing into the mix, so please give yourself grace, patience and kindness as you mourn, or when re-mourning moments pop-up. Itβs okay when they do. Youβve got this.
Also remember that when you keep thought-deliveries in your mind about how you might feel in the future, when your other child heads to college, in a way you are already living in it as if itβs already true. And with that, find things that help you to be present in your life now.
Continue to give yourself grace as you check your thoughts, and bump up those self-care things you love when things get really rough. Itβs okay.
Should this topic be something you have on your mind, Iβd be honored to work with you.
Thank you for your question and the permission to share it Tameria. You definitely arenβt alone and I am looking forward to an exciting future for you. Your child who passed would want that for you, too!
Now, my listener, ff you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. You may also do what Tameria did and DM me. I do consider all submissions.
And with that - Iβll be back tomorrow with a motherβs day message.
Be sure to check your feed every day for the next week or so, and DEFINITELY let me know what you think of these shorter episodes, my empty nest friend.
And donβt you dare forget that You Are Amazing!
Talk tomorrow!
[end music]