Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, with Coach Christine, episode number 47: Is This All Just Positive Thinking? … Recently, I was at an event, and I had a group of individuals approach me. One asked me to help them on the spot. I crammed in weeks of material in a matter of about five minutes. No easy feat.
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, with Coach Christine, episode number 47: Is This All Just Positive Thinking? This podcast is for you, a mother who years ago walked away from a career to raise your child. Sure, you’ve been busy volunteering, car pools, maybe part-time work and taking care of everyone. But your main gig, that has been your child. Now, that they are in their later years of high school, the empty nest looms ahead for you and it is freaking you out. I’ve been there and I get it. Together, we’ll turn our freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy.
Hello, my future empty nest friend. How are you feeling about the empty nest? Here’s the thing, I’ve come to realize that the empty nest doesn’t have so much to do with the house, the kids going off to school, the kids getting their first apartment. What the empty nest really has to do with is the realization that what you have filled your mental thoughts with over the last 18 or so years, hasn’t been about you at all. It’s actually been about ignoring things about you, so that you can take care of everyone else. So that “empty feeling” we have is actually something we aren’t used to. Having time to recognize our thoughts, to actually process through emotions, and to take care of ourselves.
Before I dive into this episode, a quick reminder that all of my episodes are brought to you by my free seven-day program, “The Empty Nest: A Guide to Uncovering My Future.” To be clear, we are talking about your future, not mine. Hop on over to my website, youremptynestcoach.com and sign up today. Look for the link that says “Uncover Your Future.”
Recently, I was at an event, and I had a group of individuals approach me. One asked me to help them on the spot. I crammed in weeks of material in a matter of about five minutes. No easy feat. It was an amazing experience to figure out which nuggets would be the most helpful, knowing full well that I may never speak with these amazing humans again. Totally not in my normal audience. One of the members of the group who was taking it all in, said, “So, it’s just positive thinking?” This is a valid question. It certainly sounds like it is the case, but here’s the thing; it isn’t just positive thinking. There is a key to this that is critical. If you don’t have it, then yeah, for you, it is just positive thinking, and positive thinking that more than likely, won’t work. If it does, I dare say, it is a fluke.
The missing key is that you must believe your thought fully. If you don’t believe your thought, your feelings are not going to change, and what you produce in your life, through your behavior or actions, will follow. In the example I was given that day, other people were saying things about them. Okay, so unless you believe what they are saying, it won’t bother you.
For example, imagine they said, “You have six arms,” which leaves you wondering what the heck is wrong with them that they see six arms on you? Now, let’s say they declare that you are ruining your child’s life by not encouraging them to attend college. I’d like to say that I’ve never heard this uttered, but I would be lying.
Seriously, though, if some part of you believes it, it will bother you. If you don’t believe it, because you know what brought your child to where they are today, and you are good with it, after all; this other person doesn’t know your journey. Then, it is the same as them saying to you, “You have six arms.” It won’t bother you. Remember, you control your feelings. So, catch your thought delivery and do some repacking, or reordering.
Back to the positive thinking. If someone says to you, “You know your child is going to regret not going to college right away,” a thought delivery then arrives, and you try to positive-think out of it with something like, “I love this person,” or “I know this person means well, but…” or “We can agree to disagree,” but you don’t believe it. They’re just words you’re saying to try to get there. That is a large jump. This? Yes, positive thinking thing, just won’t work. If someone says the same thing to you, “You know, your child is going to regret not going to college right away,” if their comment triggers a thought delivery that makes you feel poorly, that is simply an identification tool for you to know that you need to work on this area. Because if you didn’t somehow believe what they were saying, it wouldn’t bother you. We’d be back to six arms.
I’m going to give you something to think about, now. When you feel this emotional rise in you, when someone says something that clearly upsets you, I would like you to begin to notice these moments. Write them down. Write down the comment made. Be thankful that you notice these moments, because they are moments that identify areas that you need to work on for yourself. Areas that no doubt will allow you to level up in life. Go home and write the comment down. Process through the thought or thoughts that came to your mind that caused your reaction. Do you like the thoughts?
I could go into way more detail here, and I do in my program, but I am going to recommend that if you need more information, go back to episodes 3 through 7 for a refresher. The goal is that next time you hear that comment, you have a thought you believe, that makes you feel good. That doesn’t create a defensive reaction, because after all, you don’t have six arms.
The questions I have for you in this episode are: What do you think, is it all just positive thinking? And, will six arms be helpful to you? I invite you to fly on over to our Facebook group to share your answers to these questions with our amazing flock. Our name is Green Popsicle Sticks. Want to know why? Listen to episode number 17, or head to my website, youremptynestcoach.com/community for links to join our flock. I know that the adjustment to not having your kiddos at home full-time isn’t always easy, but it sure can be a ton more fun with a flock of friends. We look forward to seeing you there.
As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. You’ll find the show notes for this and every episode on my website. My next episode’s title is “Putting on a Show While Simmering.”
Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast. It is free and you’ll be notified when I post a new episode every Friday. Psst…my empty nest friend, did you know that I have an online program, “The Empty Nest: First Steps Towards Success.” I also now offer GPS Reset Weekend Retreats, Unplugged and Charged Up, and that I am available for speaking engagements. For all the fun details visit my website, or see this episode’s full show notes. I am thrilled to travel, and I can’t wait to meet you!
If my show has helped you in any way, please share it with one other person you think it will help, too. You’ll be giving them a free gift. Thanks for your time and energy with that, and thanks so much for listening, my empty nest friend. Remember, you are amazing!