66: Quick Tips, Your Empty Nest Coach College Scholarships and Visit Planning with Discomfort and Some Intimacy featuring Gretchen Hoffmann, Carolyn Caplan, 5 Kilo Traveller, Monica Matthews & Leah Carey

[Music: Intro – fades out]

Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #66  of my podcast. If this is your first time listening, I invite you to check out my Friday episodes, as well, where I provide bite-sized coaching assistance to guide you along your empty nest transition years – it is an amazing time of our lives but it is easy to forget that through the bumps in the road in our journey. My hope is that you discover how amazing you are and find the excitement in your years ahead. 

00:36

A reminder that all of the Quick Tips Team members and their contact information may be found on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com – look for the Quick Tips Team button on the home page. 

And if you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast. Happy recording, friend!

01:03

Wait, Christine, where are the show notes? That might help you, huh? You’ll find those in the description of this episode – on Apple Podcasts click, “Details”; on Spotify, Click “See More,”: on Overcast press the I for information – button – Get the idea? 

Or of course, visit my website for full show notes with links to everything we discuss in this episode and a full episode transcript – those reside at your empty nest coach dot com forward slash p for podcast and 66 (for this number’s episode). I can’t wait to hear from you.

[Music: Sponsor Music] 

1:39

Thanks! Thank you. It’s time to thank our sponsor. This Quick Tips episode is sponsored by my community: the Green Popsicle Sticks. Ready to find the GPS of your life?  Then sign up for my Thursday Thoughts about email where you will gain immediate access to the GPS Life Principles document, and will receive a link to join our community – and it is all FREE! See the link in this episode’s show notes, or head to my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com and click the Thursday Thoughts About button to get started. See you there! 

02:15

In this episode, this is the first time you’ll be hearing from our team member, Gretchen Hoffmann, she’s another team member who I met through Instagram – can you tell yet that I like to hang out there?

[Music: Guest Intro]

Gretchen: Hi, this is Gretchen Hoffmann, also known as The Planner Freak. I am the mother of two amazing kids, and in a former life, I was a marketing exec in the travel industry. 

When Christine first asked me to  be part of her quick tips team, I was honored, but at the same time, I was a little bit panicked. Where would I start?  What would be my first tip? How would I go about compiling my tips? I said to myself, “Take a deep breath, sit down and think about it.” 

So, my quick tip for today is to clearly know exactly what you are trying to accomplish; write it down on paper; and then break everything down into baby steps. Remember: start at the beginning and break down your steps. 

The other advantage to this approach is once you have it laid out on paper, you can also see exactly which steps you may be missing,  which ones you need to add, which ones you need to delete, or which ones you are going to need someone else’s help on. I hope this helps. Until next time, this is The Planner Freak. 

[Music: Back to Christine]

03:39

Thanks, Gretchen! If you are a regular listener of my podcast, you’ve already been introduced to the following three ladies, so I’m going to let them do their magic without interruption. If you’d like to be formally introduced to them, be sure to check our our earlier Quick Tips episodes!

[Music: Guest Intro]

03:55

Carolyn: Hi there. I’m Carolyn Caplan, also known as AdmissionsMom, and I’m an independent college consultant. 

My Quick Tips Today are about  More Mindful, Meaningful College Visits.

Definitely, sign in at the admissions office and  go on the official tours and info sessions. Pro tip for you, parents: go with a different tour guide than your child. That way you can feel free to ask as many questions as you want without their feeling like they need to sink into the ground and disappear. 

And, If your child has learning or mental health issues, be sure to visit student support and counseling services and ask questions. 

Then, I want you to get lost. Just wander aimlessly, but try to pay attention to what’s going on around you and your child. Put your phones away for a few minutes, and be mindful of their surroundings. See anything beautiful? Overhear any interesting conversations? Do the students look happy? 

04:52

Head to the dining halls and try the food — your child might be eating it for the next four years!

Wander over to the gym, the library, the student union, an academic building or even the religious organizations if your child has a spiritual side. Can they picture themselves working out here?  Studying here? Hanging out and making friends here? 

Go to the bookstore and check out the gear. I like to add to my magnet collection, but maybe they’d prefer stickers or snow globes.

Ask questions. Lots of questions. Don’t be shy.  Odds are they’ll never see these people again, and college students remember what it was like to be in their shoes. Ask current students what they like to do on a Saturday afternoon or a Wednesday night, or what their favorite spot on campus is. 

Most of all, encourage your child to imagine how they’ll fit in on the campus. Can they easily picture themself here, happy and excited?  They might need some space for this, so don’t hesitate to wander away and give them time to absorb and learn more about what feels right to them. 

Good luck! Happy Visiting!

05:56

Christine: Next up is our traveling light expert, Katherine.

[Music: Guest Intro]

06:02

Katherine: When I carry my 28-liter day bag that weighs 11 pounds on my back, I’ve got everything I need. I have my capsule wardrobe, my toiletries in tiny jars in travel size containers, I’ve got three pairs of shoes – one of which I will be wearing, and other things like a rain poncho, a headlamp, a tiny first aid kit and lastly my very important hair straighteners. 

I know, that sounds ridiculous, but to me it’s not. I have uncontrollable curly hair, and I like to make some effort.I sacrifice other things, like a fourth pair of shoes so I can take my essential straighteners. When I simplify my packing, I simplify my life. I’m not carrying extra stuff that I don’t care much to focus on. 

06:50

Everything I need to survive and have fun with is on my back. I’m compact, comfortable, warm and safe with just the basics. So, my tip for today is take what you need. As in, you need to take what you need. If you have a skin care regime that uses five products, take all five of them but in little containers. If you have medicine, take enough for the time that you are away. I would never leave home without my asthma inhaler. 

If you feel cold, take extra layers, just make them lighter versions, like a down filled jacket, rather than a bulky coat. And if the forecast is for rain, take a light rain coat, a rain poncho or a travel umbrella. And if you are going out to nice restaurants, include something that you feel good in for going out, but instead of taking multiple outfits, mix and match tops with skirts and pants. Taking what you need in smaller or lighter amounts is absolutely key for traveling light. Happy light travels!

08:02

Monica: Hi, everyone, this is your scholarship mom, Monica Matthews with another quick tip for you. My last tip introduced the SMART – S – M- A-R -T method of applying for college scholarships, and how you need to start right where you are, no matter how old or young your student is. 

Let’s go into detail about each part of this method starting with the S in smart which stands for Share personal details. Scholarship judges have a great desire to learn more about each applicant, and the essay is usually the only chance a student has to share personal details that are not included when filling out the boxes on each application.

08:38

They want to know exactly why the student would be the best choice in representing their organization, and their final choice for a winner. Students need to view the college scholarship essay as an opportunity to set themselves apart from the many other applicants. Their goal should be to prove to the judges that they are the very best choice and deserve to win the scholarship money.

To do this, students can tell a story, in their writing, about how they’ve overcome personal obstacles in their lives, making sure to share specific details including feelings, lessons learned, and life changes made. Every effort should be made into avoiding turning personal details into a sob story, however, as this could have a negative effect. 

09:19

Students need to write from their hearts in a mature fashion and use their personal stories to answer the college scholarship essay question completely, keeping it relevant to the prompt provided. Sharing personal details in the scholarship essay is something that each student trying to win money for college must do. And the bottom line is that students will win more scholarship awards by sharing personal details in their essays. 

Don’t miss my  next tip when I’ll share the second part of the SMART applying method: the M – market yourself. 

Another great way of standing out from the crowd and getting noticed by the judges.  Have a beautiful day!

[Music: Back to Christine]

09:55

Christine: My empty nest friend, I have a special bonus guest for you today! Leah Carey has stopped by!

[Music: Guest Intro]

10:04

Leah: Hi! I’m Leah Carey from the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast.

If your nest has recently emptied, you’ve probably spent the last few months or years imagining how much fun you and your partner can have in the bedroom once the kids are gone.

But now that your nest is actually empty, it’s not unusual to discover that you’ve spent so much time and focus on your kids that you forgot to keep up the intimacy of your relationship … and now you don’t know how to get back into the groove in the bedroom. It’s time to re-learn how to be intimate with your partner.

Most important: don’t try to jump in all at once! If you and your partner are more like roommates than lovers, don’t surprise them with a big romantic gesture with candles and rose petals. Chances are good that you’ll both end up feeling even more awkward because you’re out of practice.

11:14

Instead, focus on initiating small bits of intimacy every day. Put your hand on their lower back as you cook together in the kitchen. Whisper a compliment in their ear before they leave for work (the specific compliment doesn’t matter – it’s drawing your partner into a moment of quiet warmth that is special for just the two of you.) 

When we’ve gotten used to one way of doing things for a long time, it can be hard to wrap our mind around change – even if it’s change we want! So treat the re-establishment of your intimate relationship with your partner the same way you would a skittish cat – no sudden moves, no loud noises, let them sniff your hand and run away several times before they gain the confidence to inch closer. Here’s to your better sex life!

[Music: Back to Christine]

My amazing listener, if Leah has piqued your interest, be sure to check out her podcast because, let me tell you, she has a whole lot more to share with you – definitely. She will be back with another tip in the upcoming months but in the meantime, find her on her podcast: Good Girls Talk About Sex. Thanks for stopping by Leah! 

[Music: Guest Intro]

12:34 

And from me, today, I’d like you to consider discomfort. 

[Music: Guest Intro]

Recently, what have you done – that you’ve chosen to do – that has made you uncomfortable? 

Life has discomfort, whether you look for it or not, so why not choose discomfort as you work toward something you want? 

Discomfort on purpose has power.

Try it. 

And I invite you to share it with us via audio for the podcast.

My discomfort? 

It has been saying, “yes,” to requests to be a guest on other people’s shows. Audio is one step – video, well, that is a whole ‘nother level of discomfort for me. I know you are probably wondering, “Why is that even a problem for you, Christine, you’re on Instagram all the time in video?”   

13:28

I guess because I don’t have the power to hit delete – not that I do that often for my posts, I actually rarely do it, but having that ability there, as an option, kind of gives me an out. It’s like an insurance policy, I guess. Knowing that, that isn’t there when I guest for others, that has the potential to drive me to inaction.

But, what’s happening is that I’m not being who I’m meant to be and I’m not serving those who need me. 

And, here’s the thing, each time I step out of my comfort zone, it does get a little bit easier. 

I’m thankful I chose the discomfort, and am learning from it. 

See my show notes for a link to one of my first full video interviews with the lovely Amy Waterman and if you haven’t already heard my guest appearance on the fantastic podcast Hot Flashes and Cool Topics, pop over there, too – links are in my show notes!

[Music: Back to Christine]

14:20

I am thrilled you listened today. If you enjoyed this episode, and want the next quick tips episode to make its way to you in your favorite app, take a moment to subscribe to this podcast – it’s free, after all!

My next episode is titled “Becoming the CEO of Your Life: Part 3 of 5.” Did you hear the first two? Are you curious? Well, I hope so! If you are subscribed to my podcast, you’ll find it in your feed on Friday by 6 AM. You can start that series right now by listening to episodes 64 & 65. As always, I invite you to take a listen. 

[GPS Exec Thank you music]

14:57

Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to my GPS Execs: the executive producers of my podcast! Visit my website or see my show notes for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Exec, where you will gain bonus access to me – and more!

If you aren’t driving and are able to do a screenshot of this episode and share it on social media to help others to find it, that would be super helpful to me and the team. Tag me @emptynestcoach so that I may thank you. OR if you can think of one other person who would enjoy this podcast, please, don’t keep it a secret.

And before I go, please remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!

[Music: Outro – fade out]

15:45

Bloopers

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