77: Tammy Collins in the Not So Empty Nest Number 5

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast.  Christine?  Yes, Christine?  You know with the social distancing implemented due to COVID-19 that your listeners may not be in an empty nest right now, and they may be struggling with an unexpected full nest.  I mean, listen to that racket in the kitchen.  You’re right about that.  You are listening to the Not So Empty Nest podcast with Coach Christine.  Is that better?  I think at least for the near future, it might be a good call.  Sounds like a plan.

00:00:39

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00:01:19

Hello, my incredible listener!  How are your thoughts doing?  I know you are working on training up your Protector, right?  We’ve been given an amazing opportunity to do that, after all.  Today, I welcome the energetic and passionate Tammy Collins to the show.  I’ve had the honor of getting to know Tammy over on LinkedIn, where she shares fantastic tips for your brand.  Tammy is a woman like you, who overcame adversity and smashed challenges, mostly self-inflicted she claims, to achieve six-figure success in just a few months.  She has an extensive background including awards, degrees and certificates.  She went from being a lost and confused serial entrepreneur to marketing director.  It was then she realized her passion and how to help entrepreneurs.  She’s helped universities, colleges, non-profits, builders, interior designers, real estate professionals, and many other professions in various industries.

00:02:22

I know Tammy as a multi-passionate human like me, and I like to think that’s why I’m drawn to her.  She’s here to talk about her COVID-19 social distancing experience so far.  Thanks for being here, Tammy.

Tammy:  Thanks for having me, Christine.  It’s a real pleasure.  I’m a big fan of your show.

Christine:  Likewise.  I’m going to fan-girl over this!  Tammy, tell me what your family is experiencing due to COVID-19?

Tammy:  You know, it feels a bit like a twilight zone.  For us, this time of year is about sports.  I have two young men, I should say, now.  One has recently graduated from college, and the other one is in his senior year of college, and he is pursuing a professional career in baseball.  It’s baseball season, and it’s spring break, which means we head to Florida every year this time, for all of the wonderful baseball games that will take place.  The day before we left for spring break, there was a moment of are we even going to have this week?  The school decided to continue with the week, and so, we headed off to Florida despite what was happening around us.  I’m really glad that we did it, because as it turns out, as most of your listeners know, most, if not all, colleges and schools have basically closed, so my son has lost his entire senior year and lost his last season as a baseball player for college.  

00:03:56

As it turned out, the week was very poetic, and at least the boys had that time together to at least play some games.  It was extremely emotional and very difficult.  All while being stuck in another town.  It was very odd, and then we were sort of faced with we have to get home, and then the problem was growing globally, and within the United States and it was becoming more and more of a threat, so then, we started to really start to are we getting home, are we going to be able to get home, and all those good things.

Christine:  Right.

Tammy:  That was our sort of welcome to the problem.  My youngest, he’s still at school.  He filed for a petition to stay there, and he actually was tested for COVID the other day.

Christine:  Is that part of the petition?

Tammy.  No, no.  I’m sorry.  He petitioned to stay at school.  He had to finish his internship and a couple of other things, and while he was there, he got a fever and he had to go down and get tested for whether or not he has the coronavirus.

00:05:06

Christine:  Got it.  Understood.  The rest of you are home?

Tammy:  He’s at school still, but my other son, and my husband and I are here.

Christine:  Got it.  I’m sorry for the loss in sports.  That’s huge.  Especially that year, because that’s a big identity shift, even if you’re still playing the sport and going into Pros, that’s just a big shift to happen suddenly.

Tammy:  Yeah, it was quite devastating.  I mean, they had scouts lined up to come see him and everything.  He’s very talented, and so all of that’s been put on hold.  It’s very unsettling.

Christine:  Yeah.  I’m sending you good thoughts.

Tammy:  Honestly, I believe everything happens for a reason, and we can’t see it right now, but there are some blessings there.  The NCAA has extended eligibility, so he does have the opportunity to play again, next year.  I don’t know what all that means, but everything happens for a reason, so we’re going to focus on that.

00:06:04

Christine:  It is true.  It is true.  We can always find positives in everything.  Wow!  Okay, so, you and your husband, do you work at home?

Tammy:  I’m virtual.  I mean, I have a lot of clients that I meet in person, but my business is virtually based, and it really hasn’t affected me too much.  As a matter of fact, I’ve actually had an uptick in calls being scheduled and people reaching out to me, so that was a pleasant surprise.  But on the other hand, now, my husband works in retail, and in that environment, they’ve increased hours and it’s unpleasant because he’s put at risk every day.

Christine:  Yes.  Well, I appreciate him working.  I appreciate all the retail workers.  I just can’t even imagine right now, and especially, I’m sure everyone’s super pleasant that comes into the establishment, right?

Tammy:  Right.  That’s the other thing.  When someone’s standing there, sort of screaming at you because despite the fact that you had more toilet paper than humanly possible because it’s a warehouse club, and you’re out, and they’re sort of screaming at you, it’s really kind of inappropriate and unneeded stress on someone who’s already being put in a stressful situation.  We live a little bit different life when it comes to the retail environment.  We have a different view.

00:07:32

Christine:  Got it.  What would you say what day of social distancing, as I’m calling it, are you in?  Are you in like day 3 or 4, that you’re all home, or most of you?

Tammy:  Yeah, today is Thursday.  I feel like for us, it started on Sunday.  Because we didn’t get home from Florida until Saturday night.  Sunday is sort of the first day.  I actually had to run to the store, because before I leave on vacation, I clean out all my perishables and all that, so I had to actually go shopping on Sunday, so day 4, I guess.

Christine:  Awesome.  But you found things at the store, in your area?

Tammy:  Actually, yeah.  I did, yeah.

00:08:11

Christine:  That’s great.  Okay, so I’m asking my Insta family to share their social distancing daily check-ins, and I would love for you to share yours with us today.  Are you willing?

Tammy:  Oh, of course!

Christine:  Awesome!  Okay, for today, specifically, tell me something you have loved?

Tammy:  Well, today was really a challenging day for me.  I experienced a ton of strange problems.  So, this is kind of a strange answer, but today what I love is that I’m already in a virtual business.  Right?  So, I really appreciated that today, because it was very easy.  I did have a client meeting set up for tomorrow, but we can easily just do a Zoom.  It doesn’t really affect what I’m doing.  So, I was very thankful and loving that I had already built a virtual business.

Christine:  That’s fantastic, and I understand that very well.  That’s good.  So, something that you have found surprising?

Tammy:  Something that I found surprising, was when I got the text message that said, “Mom, I have a fever.”  I said, well you have to immediately go to the infirmary because you need, most likely, need to be tested, only because he had been traveling, and of course, is now considered high-risk.

00:09:29

Christine:  Yes.  So, is there something you found funny today?

Tammy:  Something I found funny today, yes.  Just before this call, my older son is home, he also works from home, and he was playing video games, and I had to run upstairs and tell him to keep it down, because you know, they get very loud when they play video games and their players are trying to survive.  You know, it’s very loud.  So, I had to say, “You have to keep it down here, I’m going to be on the podcast.”

Christine:  That’s great.  It is part of social distancing.  There is a lot more background noise on podcasts right now.

Tammy:  Right?  Exactly.

00:10:13

Christine:  There are actually a lot of podcasters that usually record when their kids are in school, or no one’s home, and there are a lot of threads of I don’t know what to do, and actually, a lot of them go into the car.  It’s a fun fact.

Tammy:  I know.  Well, right.  It’s kind of a sound cubicle.  Yeah.

Christine:  Right.

Tammy:  The other thing I found funny today, which is a little silly, but I found myself watching a video on building a yurt on plots of land as a sort of “Calgon, take me away” moment.

Christine:  That sounds lovely.  It’s always been my dream.  That’s great.  How about something that, like, right now, you just feel like you could use help with?

Tammy:  I’m typically the person that’s thrust into the leadership role, and people tend to always come to me for answers, and I think this is why I was struggling today, because I was finding myself sort of not feeling like that 100-percent rock that had all the answers, and I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed.  I think the one thing that I need the most help with right now, is some support, I guess, that camaraderie and ability to talk to somebody else that understands the position that I’m in and is in a similar position and can share and we can sort of commiserate and laugh together.

00:11:41

Christine:  Absolutely!  Everybody needs that.

Tammy:  Yeah.

Christine:  Are you getting less time to yourself to maybe process things?

Tammy:  Yeah.

Christine:  Or is it pretty much the same?

Tammy:  No, for sure.  That’s definitely happening, and it’s not even in full force yet, because my other son isn’t even home yet.

Christine:  Right.

Tammy:  Which, I think, a girlfriend is coming in tow, too.

Christine:  Oh, my goodness.

Tammy:  Yeah.

00:12:06

Christine:  So, listeners, I think, as Tammy’s talking, and my brain’s going, I’m just thinking, I know my last episode we were talking about the importance of routines for your college students coming home and the patience everybody needs with each other, because none of us have the routine we had two weeks ago.  We’re all in different spaces, but really having the strength to say to each other, I need two hours to myself, so I can be a better human.

Tammy:  Well, it’s funny because one of the ways I used to get that was to go to the gym, and I can’t even do that now.

Christine:  I know.  Yeah.  There’s a lot of energy that we all have stuck in the house.

Tammy:  Yeah.

Christine:  I have a hula hoop.  My daughter’s using Just Dance Youtube videos.  My husband’s a runner, though, so like, yeah.  What?  

Tammy:  I’ve got a big tire in the backyard.  I have been known to go flip the tire a little bit.

Christine:  That sounds amazing.  That sounds amazing.

Tammy:  Yeah.

00:13:11

Christine:  I love it.  Right now, I mean, you’ve kind of answered this, but are you feeling, I like to say, your Protector’s in charge, where you’re not peaceful at all, and they’re in control, versus the CEO of Your Life, where you’re extremely peaceful, where are you feeling right now?

Tammy:  Typically, I’m the CEO of my life.  I have a very regimented schedule, you know?  I do a sort of a level 10 life.  I don’t know if you’re familiar with that, but that’s sort of where you take the buckets of your life that you want to focus on, you rate them on a scale of one to 10, and the areas that aren’t strong you build a plan to focus on improving those.  I’m typically very much in that sort of CEO of Your Life.  Right now, I’m having waves and basically days where I’m not feeling that, so it’s very unsettling for me, because I’m not comfortable in that zone, and it throws me off a bit.  So I’m sort of one day I’m good, the next day I’m not.  The next two days I’m good, the next day I’m not.  I’m sort of learning to balance that, I guess.

Christine:  This is important for other people to hear because we’re not going to feel perfectly in control the whole time, and it’s totally okay.  Be kind to yourself when you’re not feeling in control.  I think that’s really the key, make sure that when you’re feeling a little lost, I like to say your in the simmer.  You know, you’re going to go up and down.  You’re going find your groove eventually, but you have to simmer to get there, so you’re going to have your good moments and your bad.  They’re all important.  Being appreciative of even the moments when you’re not in control is really important.

00:14:50

Tammy:  Yeah, and that’s a really good point.  I like to actually teach myself to sort of forgive myself for I wasn’t perfect today and I don’t have the answers today, but that’s okay.  That took me a long time to really learn to do that.

Christine:  Yeah.  Most of it, I wish we were taught it when we were like five or six, because I think this world would be a totally different place.  I think it is life-changing when you start to just be kind to yourself.  Just the kindness that you’d want to treat to others, to do to yourself in your thoughts, is so impactful.

Tammy:  Yeah.  Great point.

Christine:  Well, thanks for sharing all of that.  I appreciate it, and I know there are people that need to hear this, so it’s nice to know that we’re not going through what we’re feeling alone.  Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.

Tammy:  Absolutely.

00:15:39

Christine:  I invite you now to share anything with my listeners, a quote, something you love, a life lesson, or a message.  Do you have anything you’d like to say to them?

Tammy:  I think my big thing that I really have learned to be powerful, which actually my kids really taught me this, was that I’ve always been a big proponent of going after your dream; chase your passion at all costs.  It’s actually ironically part of what I do.  It’s part of my superpower, which all came about in a very strange way.  What I do is basically help people to hone in on what their superpower is, but more importantly, how they’re able to turn what that superpower is into a product that they can sell, and then, to be able to actually sell it.  It’s ironic because that’s the process that I went through and it took me a long time to figure out how to sell my passion, and that’s a big part of what I do.  My message really is that you really can’t let anybody tell you that you cannot go after your dream or your passion.  You must pursue it at all costs, because if you are not, you are dying a little bit every day.

Christine:  I am all in.  Absolutely.  It’s great that you help uncover that, because that’s what I think.  I know when I work with my clients, a lot of the time they have no clue of who they are underneath everything, and then a lot of that discovery and then, by the time you discover it, it might not be who you thought you were, who you were going to be.  Like you have this dream, and then, you’re like, oh, wait, but this is…. It’s really interesting where you land, but knowing that so strongly that when, because people will, tell you you shouldn’t pursue it, tell you that that’s not a great idea.  You need to know so strongly that that’s what you’re meant to do.  To have somebody to guide you through that is amazing.

Tammy:  Yeah.  I lived in fear and self-doubt.  I had poor ideologies.  I suffered from Imposter Syndrome, all of that, for years.  I realized that I needed to make a change there, and for me that meant going back to school.  I went back to school, full-time, while being a full-time mom.  I was getting two kids into college at the same time.  I was working full-time as a marketing director.  I was running a business.  All of that at the same time.  Most of our problems are self-inflicted.  Even in a case where like, right now, when we’re at the mercy of a pandemic, our fear is really our choice.

00:18:19

Christine:  Absolutely.

Tammy:  Right.  So you’re making your own choice.

Christine:  It is.  It is.

Tammy:  You’re in control of that to a certain degree, and that’s a big part of my message.

Christine:  Yes.  Yes.  Say Amen!

Tammy:  Woo hoo!

Christine:  Right on.  I love it.  This is great.  So somebody hears that and they’re like, oh, my gosh, I need to work with Tammy.  What’s the best way for them to reach you?

Tammy:  It’s interesting, given my expertise, of course, I’m all of the social platforms.  I’m more active on some than others, but of course you can find me on LinkedIn and you would use my full name, which is Tammy Lynn Collins.  Another great place to really get into some of my material and some of the things that I do for free, that I just give to people, it would be on my Facebook business page, which is TL Collins, and from there you can certainly find I have a membership group and a couple of other things that can take it a step further.  But that’s a great free resource where you can come.  There’s all kinds of instructional videos and just all kinds of great things in the Facebook group. 

00:19:40

Christine:  Great.  Of course, listener, you know that I will have those links in the show notes of this episode.  Thanks for being here today, Tammy.  I appreciate your time, especially with everything that we have going on. 

Tammy:  Thank you for having me.  I love to talk about anything that helps another person, for sure.

Christine:  To my listener, we both want to tell you that:

Tammy and Christine:  You are amazing!

Christine:  Thanks!  Thank you!  A huge shout out to every member of my GPS Support Flock.  I invite you to fly on over to my website, or see my show notes, for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Support Flock member, where you will gain access to all of my programs, monthly workshops, group coaching, and more.  See you there!

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