Tag: 2021 resolutions

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 128 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, It’s coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and this is episode #128.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes. Should you feel a bit lost - use my show notes for best places to begin!

In this episode, I return from a six week break from my regular episodes and share all of the changes, thoughts and updates with you. 

Welcome to 2021, my amazing friend!

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:00:56

I’m incredibly thankful for you. Thanks for taking the time to listen to this episode today. You know me, I don’t like to waste your time, but I do have a bunch of topics to cover today. If all goes as planned, I’ll be sure to post topics and time markers in my show notes, should you want to skip around.

As always, all of my offerings, podcast show notes and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. This show is sponsored by me - and all things Your Empty Nest Coach, so to keep it going strong be sure to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast player AND if you like something you hear, share it on the socials so others may learn about it. Thanks!

00:01:35

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today 

My beautiful friend, my wish for you, today is that you are able to take things you have learned in 2020 and allow them to guide you in 2021. That you continue (or begin to) observe the thought-deliveries in your mind in a loving way so that you - YOU - are not bullying yourself with your thoughts. Notice those thoughts, observe them, question them and toss the ones that don’t serve you. It is never ending work but it is powerful. 

00:02:06

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

Well, these sections are new things - you know how I love to level-up?  So, I used a level up sound for video games - it felt appropriate. This section is going to be on the longer side than I plan for it to normally to be, since it’s been a while since I’ve shared with you: 

First, you might like to know the quote that I’m focusing on in 2021 is “pay more attention to the silence than the sounds.” It is from Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. If you’ve been listening to me for a while, you already know I’m a huge fan of this book. I love it so much that I’m sharing my current read through with my TikTok audience - and it started this Monday - so if you want to join in, pick up the book. I’ll be posting reading assignments on Mondays; will go live later that day to discuss and will chat in the comments about it. So much fun!

ANYWAY, back to the quote: “pay more attention to the silence than the sounds,” in an effort to keep this at the forefront of my mind, I’m going to share anything new I observe in regards to that quote throughout the year with you. I’ve already imagined how it applies to my workplace, in conversations and to listening in general. I’ll update you on new lessons learned specific to this quote throughout the year!

00:03:26

My second “new thing,” is that outside of the quote above, I’m also focused on having a deep desire to enjoy the journey that is my life. Not to live in past moments - or to wait for the future but to have peace in every moment that moves me from one moment to the next. 

There are some things that I HAVE to do, such as go to work, do my taxes, and chores, and everything else should bring me peace, joy or move me forward in my life. If it doesn’t, then I’m tossing it. 

I’ve already started. I’ve made the decision to focus on ONE social media outlet for the start of 2021. My online home of choice is TikTok, right now, so if you are on Instagram wondering where I am - well, now you know. I’ve put in a solid two years on Instagram and it doesn’t bring me the joy that TikTok does.

That’s a funny thing to say at my age. 

But it sure is fun!

As always, I give myself permission to change my mind at any time, and if I feel happy to post something on another social media outlet, I will! BUT I won’t do it out of obligation that “since I have a podcast, I need to be in all the places.” 

Nah, I’m good with slower growth if that is what it means. 

I’ve ALSO let go of the GPS Support Flock - and spent much of the last six weeks re-evaluating everything that is Your Empty Nest Coach. I like where I’ve landed for the start of this year and you might like it too. 

00:04:58

High-level, I’ve created two years of content with my podcast, workshops, and flock offerings that I now, as time allows, will be transforming them into smaller workshops - $5 or less workshops. Seriously.

I’m all about helping you on your journey. And as I have time and as I feel led, I’ll continue to add more workshops. My first one has been posted and it is “Why Resolutions Don’t work and How to Get Your Goals to Stick” you can purchase it now for $5 - OR insider information - if you sign up for my free seven-lesson finding your future-self class, you’ll have an option to purchase that same workshop for only $2.50! I’m not kidding. I’m in the US, so these are USD prices. 

What all of these changes allow me to do is to focus on a handful of one-one one coaching clients per quarter. And I enjoy that one-on-one work tremendously. So, if you think you are interested in that - my first session is- actually already booked [giggle]  -so, you’re gonna need my second session starting February 1st and I have some crazy-low early bird pricing. When it is gone, it’s gone, so don’t hesitate if you’ve been considering working with me! 

I have the details on my website - actually currently it is still in a google doc - but I do have a link to a quiz there that you can take to see if you’d be ready for private coaching with me. 

00:06:28

And now we’re onto number three in what’s new: Well you’ve probably noticed, my podcast episode structure is new. I’m working on really making this my own AND I’d like to make it more yours as well. Please don’t hesitate to make a submission to any section of these podcast episodes via my google voice number, which you’ll find in my show notes. 

You’ll see I’m trying some new sections and guess what, I’ll keep the ones that I enjoy creating.

Fourth in What’s New: I more than likely won’t be posting a new podcast episode every Friday. I’m planning for every other week but with my new outlook on life, it might be every third week in one quarter and weekly in the next. And if I’m super busy with work, coaching and my family, I might take a month off. 

Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you entirely - just keeping my priorities straight and I have quite a backlog of episodes for you to listen to! 

Outside of these new things, I’ve been sent a few books that I might review at some point, but we shall see.

Oh, and guess who I take back to campus tomorrow. Yes, darling daughter - the advantages of a small college. Well, as of recording this she’s scheduled to go back - I’m having a bit of deja vu here - not that that surprises me. It’s been lovely having her home - we didn’t leave the house much at all and luckily this house of introverts are okay with that.

And that wraps up everything new here that is worth sharing. 

00:08:00

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I was asked this question on TikTok: How do u tell your crazy over obsessive mom you’re moving out at 19? 

And with that, I thought it would be nice to share my response which came in three parts - and could be a full podcast episode series, but with a one minute limitation per video, I had to be super choosy about what I shared. I also addressed it as focusing on any difficult conversation.

Here’s my response:

If you are labeling your mother (or another human that you are having a difficult conversation with) with words such as crazy or over-obsessed, those are words that you won’t want to go into the conversation with in your head because that’s going to already have you in a defensive mode.

You want to get to a point where you’re thinking of your parent - or the person you’re having the conversation with as whatever’s going on in their head, they’re trying to understand what you’re saying - they’re trying to see that you have already worked through the situation, that you have the answers to the questions that they ask, that you’ve already done the research. Go into the conversation assuming that they really want to be on your team - whether that is true or not doesn’t matter but you’re going to go into the conversation in a much better frame of mind to have the conversation.

00:09:19

Remember as you do this that no one likes difficult conversations - well maybe a select few love conflict but I’m certainly not one of them. Do your work ahead of time to figure out your why: what you’re doing and what your boundaries are in the conversation, and then when you state them, come to the conversation in love. Practice it, dictate it, write it, say it again - when you say it alone in your room and you get anxious and you start to think that when you say this they may yell at you or you feel they’re going to feel something that causes them to react a certain way, work through the thoughts that you have there. Change wording and remind yourself that if they get tense, it comes from concern and worry, and then work through it calmly.

If you can come to the conversation in love - in a place of love for you - you’re doing something lovingly for yourself to move forward in life and feed that (all that love for yourself) into the conversation through everything rather than getting angry or defensive, it will help. 

And, the final part of my answer may not be one parents want out there but it is the truth, so, here we go: 

I want to tell you now if you’ve never heard it before, you are not responsible for your parents’ emotions. They may tell you that they’re sad because of what you’ve done. That’s on them.

That is their emotional work to do. 

You are responsible for your choices in life: for the emotional work you do in your mind to move forward in a positive way to become who you are meant to be but you are not responsible for their reaction. We could have five families who have children in the same situation - it could be anything from an F on a test to they’re in jail and you could have/see five different emotional responses from those parents on that same situation. 

Again, their reaction and emotions are not on you - that’s them.

So, keep that in mind. Set your boundaries - I call it a fence. Keep that stuff outside of your fence. 

00:11:28

So there you go, a Coach Christine answer in under three minutes. 

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number. And, of course, for this one, I knew it was someone who is already a legal adult. I had to go with the assumption that they are able to support themself on their own, understand the financial ramifications, medical insurance and such, and hopefully, if they don’t understand the life skills needed, the conversation with their parent (or other human) approached with love will help work those details out. 

00:12:01

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? I’ve learned that just because you comment on my video doesn’t mean you have earned yourself a response from me. I do my best to respond to everyone but there are some that leave random comments that if they had watched more than one of my videos, they would have figured out the answer for themselves. I’ve decided that if someone can’t spend more than 30-seconds to a minute to get to know  me, then I certainly don’t need to spend my time responding to them. If you have a social media account, maybe that will help you, too!

00:12:35

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

I honestly can’t remember if I shared about the documentary that I’m in or not. Well, if I did, here it is again. You’ll find it on Amazon Prime, and it is titled, “The Overly Emotional Child.” While geared toward parents with younger children, any parent will learn something in this guide for understanding child emotions and behavior and what you can do to improve both. 

I also recently was on the cover and included in the Living Day By Day Community Magazine - the January/February 2021 issue. So honored! 

Links to both will be in my show notes, and you’ll find all of my appearances listed on my Media & Press page.

00:13:21

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrate You & Your Wins [sound] 

I’d like this section to be all about your wins, so submit yours today - yes, that Google voice number. We  also do this on Wednesday’s on TikTok. My win for the week is that I started working on this episode on Saturday and if it made it to anyone’s ears by Friday, that is a HUGE win because almost everything about this episode is new which meant a fair amount of behind the scenes editing for me. And this is no joke at this point because on Tuesday I woke up to find that two hours of my work is gone. So, if someone is listening to this the way I intended it, I’m going to celebrate and take the month off. I’m excited about the changes. Whether they stick or not doesn’t matter, it is all about leveling-up which sometimes means a do-over or two. I have a whole episode about leveling up - it’s number 35, if you want to check it out.  

00:14: 23

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

It’s so easy to get stuck on our go-to tools in our life’s toolbox - the things that allow us to reset, that bring us peace, that get us to the place where we can do the real work digging deeper in life. I’d love for you to share what you have in the top of your life’s toolbox so others may consider it. What hobby or task for you adds peace to your life and allows you to reset? 

For me, I love nature. Sometimes I go outside and lay on the ground. When the weather doesn’t permit, I’ll lay on the floor in the house and hope it does the job. As I age, though, getting up from the floor isn’t as easy as it used to be but that reset is lovely for me. Wondering what I’m talking about with the life’s toolbox? Check out episode #88!

00:15:15

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

This is another new section of my podcast where I share with you something that has made me laugh recently because I love to find the funny in things, and it feels so freaking good to laugh. I’m going to try my best not to make these all TikTok videos but the good news is you don’t need a TikTok account to view TikTok videos! 

So, this week, I am going to share a TikTok video that made me laugh out loud but the follow-up video is just as amusing. That being said I’ll post both links in my show notes - honestly, by now it may have made its way to prime time and Good Morning America and you may have already seen it but it is the photo that Kyle Scheele made for his father for Christmas using his photoshop skills. It is fabulous! Thanks for the chuckles Kyle! And if you, my listener, have something you think will make me laugh, please share it with me!

00:16:09

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My Parents Knew

Another new section, and I’m actively looking for submissions. For now, I’ll share a comment I received on a video - the comment and thread for the comment has over 34 THOUSAND likes so I feel confident that this is something students want their parents to know, and I’ll summarize it from a few different comments. 

High-level, it is safe to say that many teenagers and young adults who are doing online classes at home - be it high school or college - they want their parents to know that taking care of their siblings, cleaning the house and all-the-things are tough to do while in school - online school does not mean they have the day off. 

So if you happen to have a student that’s been home since March doing online school, probably, they’re not very happy about it and if you’re expecting them to do a ton of other stuff - just keep in mind: would you ask them to do that if they were in school all day. 

There you go, that’s what they want parents to know.

00:17:08

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  What will you submit to an upcoming episode? 

and Question 2:  What new section (or sections) resonate with you the most? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

Before I go, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forget that you are ah-mazing!

See ya!

0017:57

[bloopers]

00:18:15

Still listening? 

The Queen's Gambit. Did you love it? Have you watched it? We did and I loved it. If I had more free time, I’d be learning how to play chess. 

[end music]

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