110: How are you doing with 2020
Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,
How are you doing? Let's check in.
Your Empty Nest Coach
"Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity. An opportunity to hide, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to rise to the challenge, and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves - to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes."
Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
Coach Christine shares an activity you can do when your mental energy is being drained. Grab a piece of paper and a writing utensil! #EmptyNest #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen #EmptyNestSyndrome #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestTransition
This Episode is Brought To You By
Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).
What You Will Learn in this Episode
- To Consider Challenges as Opportunities
- An Activity to do When You Feel Your Mental Energy is Being Drained
- To Consider Transferring Your Thoughts Onto Paper
Quick Tip Submission
- High School Senior Tips for the College Search: Anne Vaccaro Brady, The Parents Guide to the College Puzzle
Episode Questions for You To Consider
- How are you handling 2020?
- Has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises to you?
First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes
- The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast Trailer
- Series 1: Empty Nest Prep - starts at episode #3
- Series 2: The CEO of Your Life - starts at episode #64
- Series 3 (this one): The CEO Toolbox - starts at episode #88
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Episode 110 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast
Christine: Hi! I am Coach Christine and you are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. This is episode number 110 and I’ve titled it “How Are You Doing With 2020.” I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.
Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of your life! If this is your first time here, CEO in my world stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. Doesn’t that sound lovely? This episode is going live at the end of August in 2020, and if you are listening to it right around that time, I want to say that I hope from the bottom of my heart that your family is healthy and safe. I walk through an exercise to help you when you can’t seem to get out of a funk, if you will, in today’s episode. If you want to share anything with me or my listeners, I always invite you to share your thoughts, or life tips, with us. You may do this either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? You also may send me an email at email@example.com. Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 110 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P110) I can’t wait to hear from you!
Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button. See you soon!
My beautiful, amazing friend, how are you doing? No, really, how are you doing? Most of us started 2020 ready to take on the world. We had goals, plans, things to look forward to, and now, well, your goals may have been put on hold, your health may not be great, your plans may have all been canceled, your things to look forward to might have been, too. How are you doing with all of that? Any time our life is challenged we have an opportunity; an opportunity to hide; an opportunity to grow; an opportunity to rise to the challenge; and opportunity to dig deep within ourselves, to question beliefs that we thought were “right” but maybe it is time to look at the world with new eyes; an opportunity to live in the now, the present moment; or to run from it, thinking that we’ll be able to escape from what is by looking toward what isn’t yet or what could-have-been.
If you are doing well, I want you to pat yourself on the back. No, really, I mean it. After you pat yourself on the back, reach out to someone today, by phone, video call, email or from six feet away, who may not be doing so well. Share your wellness and energy with them by spending time with them. If you aren’t doing well, are you feeling like you are in a bit of a funk? Well, that is certainly understandable, and no one is going to fault you. Now, while one episode of this podcast isn’t a cure all by any means, after all, I have a membership program and a lot of episodes that slowly cover topics to help you, but today I want to offer an exercise to use when you feel like you are stuck in a bit of a funk. Maybe you have already worked through your feelings, or you know what you are feeling but you can’t seem to get to the other side. In that case, let’s give yourself permission to let go of the feeling for a few minutes and start there.
Start by asking yourself what is my biggest pain point? Am I mourning something? Am I angry that people aren’t behaving the way I expect them to? Am I upset with myself that I’ve gained some weight through all of this? What is it for you? On an ideally, blank piece of paper, write down your top area of focus right now. Then write three emotions that come with that focus. As you write down the thing that is taking your mental energy right now, I’d like you to imagine as if the emotions are going through your writing utensil, or your fingers, should you choose to do this on a keyboard, and let the emotions fall out onto the paper. Got it? Using your imagination, let that area of focus move to the paper, along with the three emotions you have identified. Now, turn the paper over.
For five minutes, I want you to imagine what your life is like without that focus and those emotions. Don’t worry about why you aren’t focused on it. Don’t concern yourself with the fact that things haven’t been resolved with it. It is five minutes. It isn’t going anywhere and guess what, you wrote it down on the paper and will remember it when you turn it back over. This allows you to imagine for five minutes who you are without that emotional energy. Take five minutes to be present; to take in sounds, colors, smells, and beauty that you hadn’t seen when your focus was different. Only for a few minutes. Try taking really deep breaths. I’d like you to look at that time as a transference. Give that paper your emotions in those moments. Actually, give me a moment, I’m going to try this out myself.
Okay, I’m back, and interestingly enough, my five minutes had me away from this computer. The Universe timed it so that my husband and I met in the hallway for a lovely impromptu conversation. I made my coffee and took time to smell it a bit more. I was a bit more present as I did all of it. My timer went off, hubby got it for me, he was upstairs, so I inadvertently gifted myself with some extra time.
Now that I’m back, I don’t want to turn over the piece of paper at all, and I have more clarity on the work I was about to do on this episode. I do mention writing our thoughts and feelings down on paper often, because the act of doing it makes us aware of the thought-deliveries that we are allowing to take up space in our mind. Those take mental energy away from other things. This is all fine if you are aware of it and know what your mind is focused on, consciously choosing it. But if you don’t periodically check in on your thought-deliveries, well, if you are a regular listener, you know the drill, then your Protector is bossing you around with them. What fun is that? Well, for me, personally, it is no fun at all.
Now back to you. After the five minutes, you have options. I’m not even going to tell you what to do. I want you to see where you are led. Trust your instincts here. You may ignore that piece of paper, or heck, you may turn it over and have a new sense of clarity that you didn’t have five minutes ago. Let me know how it goes for you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message me over on Pinterest or Instagram. You’ll find me on both platforms @emptynestcoach, that’s my podcast title without the “your” in the beginning. You should know by now that my goal isn’t for you to rely on me, Coach Christine, to have the answers for your life. I’m here to coach you to find your internal GPS that will navigate you through the journey of your life. Oh my goodness, I can’t wait until you discover that for yourself! When you notice your thought-deliveries, train your Protector well and have a good sense of what needs to be in your life’s toolbox, oh, my friend, I’m seriously getting chills just thinking about it. The things you’ll be able to do!
If you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to just cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock! [Music] The questions I have for you in this episode are one, how are you handling 2020? And two, has 2020 provided any pleasant surprises for you?
Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?
Have you ever considered creating a podcast? A podcasting tip that I submitted was included in a recent article titled “How to Create a (Successful) Podcast Channel: 20+ Expert Tips.” The link to the full article is in my show notes. I invite you to check it out!
Anne shared the tip you are about to hear with me for the month of August way back at the beginning of the year, before COVID was known about. She sure thinks ahead! While colleges your child may be looking at may not have much social life this semester, seeing how they are handling it is a great thing to research. Thanks for sharing your tip with us, Anne!
Anne: Hi! This is Anne from Parent’s Guide to the College Puzzle. My quick tip for today is if your high school senior’s having trouble paring down the list of colleges to arrange for eight to twelve schools, consider these sometimes overlooked aspects of a college. Check out the social life. What is there to do, both on and off campus, when students aren’t in class? Which colleges offer the intramural sports clubs or volunteer programs your future freshman wants to participate in? How’s the weather? If your teen hates snow, they’ll be happier at colleges with milder climates, and the reverse is true. A student who likes winter sports, will want colleges in places where they can participate in these activities.
Confirm which majors and minors are offered. If a college doesn’t have the major and any potential majors your student is interested in, take it off the list. Remember to look at the available minor options, too. Find out the male to female ratio. Colleges tend to have more girls than boys, but some campuses are skewed much higher one way or the other. This might make a difference to your teen. How big is Greek life? Sororities and fraternities dominate at some campuses and play a minor role at others. For kids who have a preference either way, this can be important. Who else goes there? Your school’s Naviance account or your student’s guidance counselor can show you the popular colleges among graduates from your high school. This is helpful if your teen wants to see a familiar face those first weeks on campus, or if they don’t. Remember the final list of colleges should include two safety schools, two reach schools, and the remainder, target schools. Good luck!
Christine: Do you have a Quick Tip to share with listeners of this podcast? I would love to include it in an upcoming episode. See my show notes for links to submit your own audio tip. I am just about done here. But not before I remind you, of course, that you, my beautiful friend, are amazing!
Have you received a green popsicle stick from me yet? If not, why not? I’m happy to send you one, or three! I have instructions on how to receive your green popsicle stick from me, when you download my free printable: “How To Find Yourself in the Empty Nest” resource.