Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, with Coach Christine, episode number 40. Forty? How am I at 40?… Hello, my future empty nest friend. Today’s episode came directly from some client work. I love working one-on-one with clients. It is totally my jam. Not only do I enjoy the deep dive work that we are able to do, but I find it energizing that by working with my clients, I am able to process my work on a deeper level, as well as refine the tools and analogies to bring it all to you. Right here.
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Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, with Coach Christine, episode number 40. Forty? How am I at 40! The Problem With HUGE Goals. This podcast is for you, a mother who years ago walked away from a career to raise your child. Sure, you’ve been busy volunteering, car pools, maybe part-time work and taking care of everyone. But your main gig, that has been your child. Now, that they are in their later years of high school, the empty nest looms ahead for you and it is freaking you out. I’ve been there and I get it. Together, we’ll turn our freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy.
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Hello, my future empty nest friend. Today’s episode came directly from some client work. I love working one-on-one with clients. It is totally my jam. Not only do I enjoy the deep dive work that we are able to do, but I find it energizing that by working with my clients, I am able to process my work on a deeper level, as well as refine the tools and analogies to bring it all to you. Right here. This episode is a direct result of some client work. She’s ah-mazing! Just like you. Although, I’m not sure she believed that when we started working together. Together, she and I were able to figure out her sticking point, and I’m excited to bring it directly to you. So much freaking fun! By the way, can you believe I’m at episode 40? I can’t. It’s crazy. This goes live in two days, that last recording was awful, so I’m re-recording it just before I go on my retreat, and hopefully it is better and you like it. Thank you to my editor for telling me it’s not good enough. I appreciate you!
A quick reminder that all of my episodes are brought to you by my free seven-day program, “The Empty Nest: A Guide to Uncovering My Future.” To be clear, we are talking about your future, not mine. Hop on over to my website, youremptynestcoach.com and sign up today. Look for the link that says “Uncover Your Future.”
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This topic is a little more advanced in concept. If I lose you, I encourage you to take a listen, or re-listen, to my Empty Nest Prep episodes, where I cover your thoughts and feelings a bit more. We all get these big goals, thoughts and ideas in our life. Don’t get me wrong, they are fantastic as a start. Thoughts like, I’m going to get organized. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to find a new job. I’m going to discover a new career that is right for me. These are just some examples, and I want to take one of them and process through it together.
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I’m going to get organized will be our example for today. It is a fantastic initial thought. But if the thought is only that thought and nothing else, you are left with a feeling that may not have you in a great place, because the inference is that you aren’t organized. Do you follow? When you walk into a room and your mind delivers the thought, I need to get organized, and then later, you go home, look at the kitchen, and you get the thought delivery, I need to get organized. Then, to the closet, same thought. The bathroom, same thought. Whew, those are some tough thought deliveries when they continue all day long in your mind. What is the action from that thought delivery?
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As I see it now, the problem is that the thought is just too darn big. It could mean anything. When you walk around continually allowing the thought box “I’m going to get organized” to enter your mind, and then, you sit in that box, and feel whatever feeling you get, which since it is a significant and lousy thought, more than likely you aren’t sitting with a good feeling. What gets done? My guess, for many of us, is that not much changes. We don’t love the feeling we are feeling, but we are super comfortable with the thought that our mind likes to allow entry. Thoughts like, I’m not organized, or I need to get organized. You may even believe that not being organized is part of your identity.
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I’m recording this to challenge you on that thought. Whether it is organization, being chronically late, finding a new career, or becoming healthier, I want you to take a moment and consider that you may not be that big thing that you think is your identity. It may just be a thought delivery problem. The package is way too big, and you continue to allow it in your mind, when in reality, you can send it back, and ask that it be delivered in a completely different way, or not at all.
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Stay with me. Here’s your action item. Identify the big thought for you. If it is “I’m not organized.” I want you to become conscious enough in your thoughts that you notice the specific thought, “I’m not organized.” I then want you to use it as a trigger to tell your mind, that thought is too big. It isn’t actionable or helpful. The next time you walk into your office and see a mess, and you catch this thought delivery that is way too big, “you’re not organized” or “you need to get organized,” I want you to condition your mind to hear a doorbell. Maybe one you don’t particularly like, and with it arrives the message, “That thought is too big. It isn’t actionable or helpful.” Imagine a delivery person with a 1,000 pound box that they’re about to leave on your doorstep, with no way for you to move it inside. Would you want to accept that delivery?
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Imagine that if you leave it outside your door, the doorbell continues to go off, and follow-up with that inactionable thought every few minutes. Annoying? You are allowing your mind to do this to you now, anyway, so let’s notice it, and take care of it. Now, when you hear the doorbell of that too big thought, work on saying to the delivery person, “That thought is too big. I need you to take it back and give me smaller actionable packages.” Then, look to your mind, your GPS to find a way to take a concrete action to move forward. You catch yourself thinking, I need to get organized. Doorbell rings. That thought is too big. It isn’t actionable, or helpful. What is one thing I can do now, to move forward? Maybe the next time you enter a room, you’ll decide that you will spend ten minutes today, cleaning one section of a desk. Make it small. Make it actionable and doable.
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Ten minutes is easy, and when you refuse the big delivery, and accept one like, “I’m cleaning a small portion of my desk today,” you gain power in your life. Keep it simple, too. Stick to one area. Get used to connecting those thought deliveries and then, when you can address them with no problem, or have cleaned your entire desk, pick another area.
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Think you need accountability? Ask someone to check on you later in the day and put an appointment on your calendar. Do this enough and you will see real change in your life. Why? Because it is the small consistent actions in life that will create massive change. If your thing is weight loss, you could use your too big thought delivery doorbell as an opportunity to choose one thing to do. It could be anything. Eat one more vegetable than you did the day prior. Maybe push your breakfast off an hour to slowly increase an intermittent fasting window, or switch a dessert out for a fruit. Want to see a real and significant change in your life, catch yourself thinking the big thoughts that cause inaction in your life. Start to notice the doorbell on those thought deliveries. Gaining power in your life always starts there.
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I can’t wait to hear how you change your life. The questions I have for you in this episode are: one, do you have a big goal that is causing inaction in your life? And, two, are you ready to notice where you need to challenge yourself more?
I invite you to fly on over to our Facebook group, to share your answers to these questions with our amazing flock. Our name is Green Popsicle Sticks. Want to know why? Listen to episode number 17, or head to my website, youremptynestcoach.com/community for links to join our flock. I know that the adjustment to not having your kiddos at home full-time isn’t always easy, but it sure can be a ton more fun with a flock of friends. We look forward to seeing you there.
As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. You’ll find the show notes for this and every episode on my website. My next episode’s title is “How Early is Too Early to Begin Empty Nest Preparations?”
Psst…my empty nest friend, did you know that I have an online program, “The Empty Nest: First Steps Towards Success.” I also now offer GPS Reset Weekend Retreats, Unplugged and Charged Up, and that I am available for speaking engagements. For all the fun details, visit my website, or see this episode’s full show notes. I am thrilled to travel, and I can’t wait to meet you.
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Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast. It is free and you’ll be notified when I post a new episode every Friday. If my show has helped you in any way, please share it with one other person you think it will help. You’ll be giving them a free gift. Thanks for your time and energy with that, and thanks so much for listening, my empty nest friend. Remember, you are ah-mazing!
