Empty Nest Success Evangelist specializing in coaching mothers entering the empty nest. ★ Master Motivator ★ Podcast Host ★ Together we'll channel your freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy! ~ Christine, Your Empty Nest Coach
But how do you treat yourself when you do change a decision that you have made? Guess what? It isn’t time to beat yourself up. It is time to be curious, to question it, check it and then be all in on your new decision: whether it is to stay the course or do something different.
Easy? Maybe not, but I’ve got you! Take a listen, or read the transcript, below.
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll all the way down ⇓ so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
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Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, with Coach Christine, episode number 26: Changing Your Mind is Okay. … By now, graduations are happening. Summer is getting started and while, with life changes, changes in decisions that have already been made might creep up, too. Let’s chat about that today. I had a bout of changing my mind recently, and I have to say I spent a day or two thinking I must be giving up on my dream.
Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, with Coach Christine, episode number 26: Changing Your Mind is Okay. This podcast is for you, a mother who years ago walked away from a career to raise your child. Sure, you’ve been busy volunteering, car pools, maybe part-time work and taking care of everyone. But your main gig, that has been your child. Now, that they are in their later years of high school, the empty nest looms ahead for you and it is freaking you out. I’ve been there and I get it. Together, we’ll turn our freaking out energy into freaking awesome energy.
00:00:58 By now, graduations are happening. Summer is getting started and while, with life changes, changes in decisions that have already been made might creep up, too. Let’s chat about that today. I had a bout of changing my mind recently, and I have to say I spent a day or two thinking I must be giving up on my dream. So ridiculous what our minds do to us. If we let our mind boss us around, I really wonder if we’d ever get anything done.
00:01:26 I’m going to tell you my recent story and realization of this. Hopefully, it helps you. My GPS to future me is to be an example to future empty nest women of all that is possible in their lives, and to help them to discover who they’re meant to be. That is on my green popsicle stick. I’m quite clear on future me, but some days, I forget to tune into her, and make sure that I’m on the right track. If that makes sense.
00:01:53 Let me jump to a nature story for a minute or two. I would like you to picture a spider. Not a creepy spider, but a nice, kind, lovely spider who is only in the world doing her own thing, working hard to get food. She does her really well, because that’s all she knows. When she creates a web, she first creates a bridge line between two objects, and then she spends time strengthening it up. She then creates anchor threads and spends time reinforcing them, and finishes them with frame threads. With those threads set, she adds radii fixed to the central hub and checks that every angle is correct, to make sure she has enough spokes. Then, she gets to work on her auxiliary threads. After which, she takes a huge rest, while her body changes things up so she has a different silk to work with in her upcoming building project. Let me tell you, I went down a rabbit hole watching spiders create webs in this episode’s research. It’s a bit mesmerizing, and I’ll put a couple links in my show notes, if you’re interested. Any way, as she finishes the web, she fixes the center and pulls the threads tight so the web does what it needs to do.
00:03:05 Somethings that jump out to me in this, is that one, she rests. Two, she checks things. She fixes things and tightens the web up. Three, she doesn’t willy nilly create random lines of web shot out with an unorganized structure. Four, she also, doesn’t spin one single small radii thread over and over, and over, and only bank on that. In the end, she creates a full-blown web. A beautiful web that does what it is meant to do. If the web is broken in a part of it, she repairs it. If the web is destroyed, she could die from malnutrition. I have a whole new view of these webs outside my door right now.
00:03:47 What does this have to do with anything? If you look at the completed web as our GPS, as our green popsicle stick, you see that sometimes portion of your pathways might break and need repair. If you lose sight of the full web that you are creating, you could think of that one broken section means that your path is done and the web, as a whole, has no chance of happening, but you have so many other angles and pathways to complete your web, to complete your GPS to get there. You do. Just like a spider does. You just need to rest sometimes. Clean up what you’ve done already, tighten things up, and then, get moving again. As long as you remember you are making this web, and not a rope swing, you are in good shape. Slow and steady gets you there. It gets the spider to her completed web.
00:04:40 What does this have to do with me? I had decided earlier in the year that I would do a six-week coaching program in June. It sounded great at the time, but after a big road-trip with my daughter, I got home and thought I really want to enjoy this summer with her home. If I’m working full-time at my day job, and coaching a full group of clients, my time will be crazy limited. That isn’t the way I want to spend my summer. Despite announcing it in a few episodes of the podcast, I decided to flat out change my mind to not do a summer coaching program, and to spend the summer batching future podcast episodes. Cleaning up the loose ends I have with what I’ve created already and auditing all the tools that I’m currently using. My gut was this is me starting to give up on my dream. What is with that? That is right where my thoughts went. Our minds really can be dream killers, can’t they?
00:05:36 My empty nest friend, with some time and self-coaching, I remembered what I would tell my clients. What are you making this mean, and check in with future Christine and your GPS. I did all that, and future Christine is sure that spending time with her daughter in the summer that she learns to drive, is the best way that she could possibly spend this upcoming summer. I have to tell you, I know I will not regret that decision. I am 100 percent sure of it. There you have it. I changed my mind, and I’m confident it was the right decision. I know I’m not letting future Christine down, because she knows the path to where she is. Slow and steady will get me there. It requires some rest, some reevaluation, and some tightening up of processes. She’s cheering me on even when I change my mind.
00:06:24 When I’m on a path that doesn’t get me to where I need to be, I have clarity on that, too. Thanks to future Christine. When you think you might want to change your mind, check in with your GPS. You’ve got this. Future you is cheering you on and so am I. Enjoy every minute of this summer ahead. I’ll be back next week with an episode title “What Are You Making Grades Mean.”
00:06:45 Please, don’t hesitate to fly on over to our Facebook group. Our name is Green Popsicle Sticks. Want to know why? Listen to episode number 17, or head to my website, youremptynestcoach.com/community for links to join our flock. Why should you join our group? The adjustment to not having your kiddos at home full time isn’t always easy, but it sure can be a ton more fun with a flock of friends. We look forward to seeing you there.
00:07:11 The questions I have for you in this episode are: one, how do you normally treat yourself when you change your mind? Two, how do you feel about spiders? As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend. My hope is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. You’ll find show notes for this and every episode on my website, youremptynestcoach.com.
00:07:37 If my show has helped you in any way, please share it with one other person you think it will help, too, or take a screenshot of this and share on your favorite social media site. Thanks for your time and energy with that. Thanks so much for listening, my empty nest friend. Remember, you are amazing!
This was originally posted on an old blog of mine in June of 2017.
I went on a walk/kind-of-a-jog, this morning, and kept seeing thistle plants.
I got all metaphorical looking at them. I mean, here is a tough plant. Considered a weed around here, it has solid stalks that hold the flowers in place as they sit in a variety of stages of life. A few ends are not even open yet, some are in full blossom, and others have turned brown and have served their purpose. A lone bee sits on one end gathering pollen, and I can’t help but see my life in this plant.
The stages of life that are ending; careers and jobs that have served me well; friendships that may have had their season; the journeys that are about to begin; and the life experiences that keep me grounded through the happy and the suck moments in life.
It is easy to get caught up in the moments at the end of the flower but remembering the big picture and that it all fits together (even though I may not see it now), can keep me grounded and make the next season even better.
Hmmm, this is apparently where my mind goes when I don’t listen to podcasts.
You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.