98: How to Deal with Difficult People

98: How to Deal With Difficult People

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I recorded this episode a few weeks ago. Created for the moments in your life where other humans rub you the wrong way: when you know you have to work around them (or with them), and something about them pushes your buttons.

To be clear, I would not use this process for racist, abusive, or anti-humanity situations.

But for those button-pushers that you need to navigate around in your life, seeking peace within yourself isn't meant to help them, it is to help you. Imagine finding different ways to navigate your interactions going forward. We don't learn these things to quickly tell our friends and family how to do things better so they'll be a better person. Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

No, WE change how we handle things, and then others may want to know more - or they won't - either way, you have more peace in your life. Life gets interesting when peace is within you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Another human in your life is always outside of your fence. You can’t control them. You can’t control their thoughts or actions. What you CAN control is your thoughts about them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

That person that ALWAYS rubs you the wrong way - just by showing up? Someone come to mind? Then, this episode is for you: How to Deal with Difficult People 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • How to use the concept of a protector to view others differently
  • To remember to protect your energy - and those problematic humans may disappear on their own

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Who did you have in mind when you began listening to this episode? 
  2. How may you picture their protector in a way to provide peace in your life?

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Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 98 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 98: How to Deal With Difficult People. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I’m going to share some personal updates and changes around the podcast with you before I dive on into the topic of this episode. If you want to skip this part, skip ahead a bit. I was all ready to get back into the quick tips episodes but then I realized how much time I was spending on them; a lot of time. I do everything on these episodes, from emailing the team to gather submissions, editing through all post-production including all the social media posts. Here is the thing, I do really enjoy that work, probably because I’m collaborating with a lot of amazing women, but I spent some time recently checking in with future Coach Christine and guess where I ended up? I was led to this statement: let it go, Christine, so that you can spend your time being the best coach and serving others well.

00:01:37

It also became apparent to me that I was unconsciously using this work for the Quick Tips Episodes as a time filler, or almost as an excuse or buffer. Have you been there before?  Meaning that, if I’m not successful in my coaching plans, then I could always blame the time I put into this as why I wasn’t successful. Oh, my goodness!  Have you ever immediately known the answer to something, but because of promises you had already made or because you know it’s going to make you super uncomfortable, you decide to still keep on doing what you are doing? Yes, it happens to me, too, and I want to share those moments with you, because these are the moments where we learn the most about ourselves.  These are the moments where we have the ability to level up. After a few weeks of checking in with myself, doing thought work, working on my CEO Toolbox, I’ve decided to let go of the Quick Tips episodes. Originally, I was going to do two more in June, but alas, they are no more. It feels really good, too.  Once you work through it, get to the other side, it’s like yes, I’ve committed to myself.  This is great.

00:02:47

It was meant to be a year-long experiment.  Well, that’s ending early. I’m really happy with the results, and the work. It is a bittersweet goodbye to a project that I’m crazy proud of. Now, if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, all hope is not lost.  What I’m going to do is have a brand new section of my Friday episodes for these. Today is our first one. Let me know what you think of the new section.

00:03:10

On another note, if you would like to be a guest on this podcast, I’m looking for listeners who have applied lessons from the podcast and would like to share your voice and experience with others. Is this you? Reach out to me, today. A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback, either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. 

Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:03:59

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:04:43

To continue some thank yous, one of my clients sent me this recently. 

“So glad to have your podcasts and love the way you’ve adapted to the "not so empty nest". You have been of TREMENDOUS help and I've applied your advice and approach with great success. I am starting a part time job that is exactly what I have dreamed of!! Can't believe it. Applying the idea of keeping the "protectors" at bay was very instrumental. (Long-winded note - but I really want to share with you how valuable your support and overall approach has been from the very beginning)."

Thank you, amazing lady, for your continued encouragement. You know who you are. 

00:05:32

[Birds chirping] 

Ah, isn’t it wonderful that your life is peaceful? It is incredible that you don’t have a single person that ever drives you crazy, grates on your nerves, annoys you, or you simply can’t stand. That you shower every human you meet with patience, grace, mercy and love. How can you not love them?  They are a beautiful human and wonderful.

00:06:04

[Rolling thunder]

Okay, back to reality. I’m going to make the assumption today that what I just described to you sounds like a fantasy-land. That you can’t imagine anyone living like that. I’m also going to assume that you do have a handful of individuals in your life who you would consider to be difficult to be around. If that sounds more like your life, then this episode is for you. If you are a loyal listener, I’m willing to bet you already know where this is headed, but I want to give you extra imagery to assist you in moving forward. To assist you when you do, heaven forbid, run into difficult humans. 

00:06:44

I will be using vocabulary in this episode that I use often, but may be new to you, should you be a newer listener. If the mention of thought-deliveries, your Protector, and the fence that you have in your life makes you wonder what I’m talking about, I recommend that you check out some of my earlier series of episodes for clarification on how I use these terms. Links are in my show notes. High-level, though, and a quick refresher for everyone: your thoughts are something you choose. Imagine that your mind is like a house; that it’s fenced in. Imagine also, that you have a Protector, a security guard of sorts, who protects your mind’s property, everything you can control in your life. 

00:07:26

Your Protector distributes your thought-deliveries and does one of three things: handles the thought-delivery for you; provides you with a status report on what has arrived; or forces the thought-deliveries into your property, making that all that you see. How your protector handles your thought-deliveries has everything to do with how well you have trained them. Ultimately though, you control everything within your fence, and that is all you control. 

00:07:54

With that high-level review, let's return to the difficult people in your life. There are two things at play here, one, your thought delivery about the difficult person and two, other humans have their own Protector. Let’s look at your thought-deliveries first, since that is what we are able to control. Remember, another human in your life is always outside of your fence. You can’t control them; you can’t control their thoughts or their actions. What you can control is your thoughts about them. If the moment they appear in your life, you have thoughts such as: she drives me crazy; he is awful; this human gets on my nerves so bad; why are they so annoying; I can’t stand them. Well, my friend, those are all thoughts. Thought-deliveries that your Protector has marked high priority and forced in for you to open and deal with. Ask yourself if any of those thought-deliveries bring a positive sensation to you?

00:08:49

Actually, try something for me? Imagine a rock; a smooth grey rock. You find it on the ground. You pick it up, and think to yourself, this is a lovely rock. How do you feel imagining this? 

Now, what if you picked it up the same rock but this time think to yourself, I can’t stand rocks. Do you have a different sensation? I sure do, and it’s a rock. It hasn’t done anything to me outside of being a rock. With that rock in mind, imagine the thought-deliveries you label around difficult humans, and the impact it has upon your life. The rock isn’t impacted by your thought, and neither is the difficult human. Also, the moment you label someone as difficult, you’ve jumped right from a human being outside of your fence all the way into your thought-delivery and sensation. We can assume that your Protector is not well trained.

00:09:46

Understand that there’s a difference between observing Jane Doe as talkative, and then finding a thought around it, versus observing Jane Doe and thinking she’s annoying. Another thing, did you, by any chance, notice that one of the thought-deliveries that I listed initially is a question? We have to be very careful with questions sent in as thought-deliveries, and should train our mind to return those to sender immediately.

00:10:15

The question was, “Why are they so annoying?” My friend, your brain is an amazing machine and it wants to serve you well. If you ask it a question, it’s going to try to find an answer for you, so when you ask it, “Why is Jane Doe so annoying,” guess what you’re going to get back? All the reasons you can find that makes Jane Doe a nightmare for you to deal with. If you were instead, to catch yourself in something like this and flip the question around to say, “What are strengths that Jane Doe has?” or “What challenges does Jane Doe have in her life that I can assist her with?” Now you are putting your brain to work for good. Let’s save our mind’s energy for consciously choosing to solve things in our life that impacts us the greatest.

00:11:03

Now to pop back to the second concept at play, when we have “difficult” people in our lives. If you are still listening, you more than likely understand your Protector and how to (or that you should) train them, which allows you to keep in mind that other humans have a Protector, also. This allows you to lighten up your interactions with your designated humans and I encourage you to have fun with this. Remember, most humans have no clue that they have a Protector of sorts. They are not present enough in their life to observe their thoughts, to consider their thoughts as optional, which means they live in an obscured, reactive mode most of their life. They react to others without any thought as to the why. Sometimes they react a certain way because that is what they are supposed to do, it may not even be a conscious choice for them. 

00:11:58

You can understand this because you lived most of your life living this way, and you now see the impact this, and knowing this, has made into your life. Knowing that Jane Doe coming up to you and you don’t have to think she’s an awful human, you can choose a different thought.  That, my friend, is life-changing. I share this with you not for you to start going around and telling people everywhere that they have a Protector and that they better start proper training to get a handle on their life. No. This isn’t something you can throw at someone, run away and expect change. I mean, I guess you can do that, but it’s not something I recommend. 

00:12:37

I say this often, but remember this work is your work. Those other humans are outside of your fence. You can’t make them understand this and you certainly can’t make them want to hear it. What you can do is begin to be curious about their Protector. Keep it to yourself, in your mind.  Begin to notice that the difficultness you see in them isn’t them. It isn’t their underlying essence of who they are. Actually, they probably have no idea who that would even be if you asked them.  No, you have the pleasure of interacting with their Protector who is on high-alert, takes their job seriously, and bosses them around. Which allows you to approach your future interactions with this human in some new ways to make your life more peaceful. 

00:13:28

One way is that you can find a way to imagine their Protector in a way that makes you love who the person is underneath, in a way that helps you to want to know more, to listen and to reach out.  This is all for you to keep to yourself. For some people, I’ll imagine a five-year-old in a sandbox throwing sand. They think that sandbox is all they have and they are protecting their work, not knowing that there is a whole huge world outside of that sandbox, and thank goodness it’s only sand they are throwing. For others, I imagine a flat-out bully for their Protector. I imagine that the human underneath is cowering in a corner, afraid to push back on their Protector because if they did they might have to face who they are, and they have no idea who that would be. You can imagine anything you want here. The goal is to bring peace to your life, friend. That is what this is for, not to have the knowledge to educate them. Tricky, isn’t it? 

00:14:31

The second thing you can do when imagining another human’s Protector is to remember that when their Protector comes at you, they are looking for energy. Their Protector wants to prove their worth; to let their human know that they do such an incredible job that they’ll always need them.  Should you now begin to react differently to this Jane Doe human, and provide them with no energy back, their Protector will become bored with you and will search out others to kind of feed off of in a way.  Isn’t there a book out now about energy vampires? There is a character in the show “What We Do In The Shadows” who is an energy vampire, and his introduction to the office I found hysterical. It is like that though. Imagine that their Protector is normally on high-alert with you.

00:15:23

The Protector is the one you deal with after all, and that that Protector is looking for reasons to send thought-deliveries to their human who they protect, but if you stop giving them reason to do so, one of two things will happen.  One, the human will go find someone else to be around (you won’t even have to ask them to leave, it will happen. It’s looking for other energy). Two, the human’s protector will be curious, and maybe confused, and you may find, over time, that your relationship with this other human completely changes in a positive way. As someone who has been noticing this for a while now, what is super interesting to me is the people who will disappear from your life and the people who will change naturally. It is absolutely fascinating.

00:16:12

My theory, after seeing this enough in my life and in my client’s lives, is that those who move quickly to others are so controlled by their Protector that they can’t for a moment consider anything else, and all they know is that you aren’t providing them with the energy you used to. Life, everyday life, becomes entertaining when you begin to see Protectors for others. Some lovingly hug their human and respect their human knowing they know what is best. Others are a big old bully. They are ten feet ahead of their human clearing the way for anything that could possibly be an obstacle for them. No one, not even that human, knows who is behind them.

00:16:55 

Between that image and the image of different Protectors, yes, I’ve been highly entertained. There are days, of course, when I forget all of this and react. But thankfully, the change, of course, is usually fairly quick now, because I see the energy exchange clearly, and it becomes much more fun to throw people off course with unexpected reactions, than to hand them over control of my emotions and to give them energy that reactively comes right back to me. Give it a try. Let me know if anything in this resonates with you. Also, please notice that I didn’t title this episode abusive people. I titled it difficult people. So use this in relationships that test you, and that you are stuck in for now, to gain peace in your life.  With this knowledge and the ability to set boundaries for yourself, there is a chance that you will gain clarity on relationships that you have been confused about to date. This takes time though, friend, so have fun with it, don’t be surprised when relationships change, and see where it takes you.

00:17:59

Of course, should you need help with this, I am available to the GPS Support Flock Members in multiple ways:  workshops, group coaching, forum questions and more. I have also created an online quiz for you to discover if the Support Flock is a good fit for you. If you are curious, fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for the quiz and another community option for my podcast listeners, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me the words Flock membership and I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend! [Music]

00:18:37

The questions I have for you in this episode are, who did you have in mind when you began listening to this episode? And, how may you picture their Protector in a way to provide peace in your life? 

00:18:52

Christine? Christine? Christine? Where are you? Have you had a chance to read Judy Holland’s book: Happinest: Finding Fulfillment When Your Kids Leave Home? I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to review her book, and found my name on the back cover as an endorsement. How fun is that? Judy has expertly curated information for anyone adjusting to the empty nest. Definitely check it out. Link will be in my show notes. Hashtag, not an affiliate. [Music]

00:19:29

My Empty Nest friend, today’s quick tip comes from Laurie of Travel Tips by Laurie. Her tips were submitted before our physical restrictions went into place, and as someone who follows Laurie, I can tell you if you are looking for the most recent updates to airline travel, definitely follow her. She has up to date information. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Laurie. 

[Music]

00:19:57

Laurie:  Hi, Christine.  I thought some of your empty nesters have saved money to spread their wings, now that their kids are spreading their wings.  I have six travel tips and tricks for hotel rooms, in case they want to now visit their kids or visit the world.  I’m a Houston-area pilot’s wife, and I share tips and tricks on my “Travel Tips by Laurie” Youtube channel to help people travel the globe without a worry in the world.

00:20:22

My brilliant subscribers have shared their travel hacks with me, and I have learned some from the many mistakes I have made while traveling.  The number one tip or trick for a hotel room is to use the paper coffee cup in your hotel room for makeup brushes.  Just put them in a plastic baggy, in your suitcase, and then when you get in the hotel room, just drop them in that paper coffee cup.  Number two is a travel hack that a mother of three grown daughters gave to me. This hack is to use the ironing board as an extension of your countertop for your toiletries, your makeup, a curling iron, but be sure to use a washrag or a towel to cover up that ironing board, in case someone’s trying to iron a white shirt later, and they’ll get makeup on it.  My pictures and my videos do this a lot more justice.

00:21:11

The number three travel hack is to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob, even when you’re touring the city, to deter burglars, because they think you’re in your room, when really, you’re out touring, but you’ve put that Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob. The fourth travel hack is to point your shoes in the direction of the nearest stairwell, in case there’s heavy smoke from a fire in the middle of the night, you know where that elevator is, but you might not be thinking clearly in the middle of the night to remember which stairwell is the closest.

00:21:42

Number five is to use the hotel dry cleaning plastic bag to pack your bathing suit, or hiking shoes that are still wet, and my favorite travel hack of all times is number six, and that’s to use the pants coat hanger to keep your hotel curtains closed, so that that bright sunshine light does not wake you in the morning when you wake up.  You can find me on Youtube at “Travel Tips by Laurie.”  I hope these help.  Thanks again, Christine.

[Music]

00:22:09

Christine:  Well my empty nest, CEO of Your Life, friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. I saw writing in the sky today that told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wrapping up the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I share about the importance of a well-curated toolbox. For best results, your CEO toolbox must contain resources chosen specifically for you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids - if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Is the toolbox for your life well stocked? Do you have the band-aids and the cures inside?  Take a listen to this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast!  💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #lifetoolbox #emptynestcoach

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Your Foundational Level Items
  • To Begin to Fill Your Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) Toolbox
  • To Periodically Inventory Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Consider Drawing a Picture of Your Toolbox

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How is the inventory in your CEO Toolbox? 
  2. Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

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Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 96 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox of your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast in this episode, making this episode a bit more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through. 

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take an opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course, I will always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 96 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P96) I can’t wait to hear from you! [Music]

00:01:54

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:37

It’s time to wrap-up this series: the Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox series of episodes. We’ve discussed why consciously having a toolbox is helpful in your life. We’ve discussed what to store in that top, removable tray,of your toolbox, and we are working now on those tools that you always want with you, those that are in the base level, or foundational-level of your toolbox. Your CEO toolbox is for you to stock, so ultimately what you put inside is completely up to you. The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids, if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you.

00:03:27

In my foundational-level, of my toolbox, I have presence, the CEO Analysis Tool, Flock Support, and in the rest of the space, other items that work specifically for me. I want you to spend time figuring out what works best for you. We all have different strengths, different gifts, and different ways in which we learn best, so me prescribing items to put in your foundational-level, may make you throw the whole thing out if one item doesn’t work for you. I don’t want to be a part of that possibility for you. 

00:04:02 

Again, this is your toolbox, so stock it with what moves you forward. What serves as band-aids for you? What helps you repair moments, and what moves you closer toward the best version of future-you possible? For me, one of the other items that I have in my foundational-level is my life’s purpose statement. This changes over time, but it is a statement that I say to myself daily, to remind me who future-me is, and why I do what I do. I’ve found that having this statement allows me to be in the right energy for moving forward, for working on myself, for doing daily tasks that otherwise may not be extremely compelling to partake in.

00:04:45

My purpose statement reminds me of who I am. It is written in the present tense and I have modified it countless times to get it to where it is today. It is a continual work in progress. Consider a purpose statement for your life. If you are a GPS Support Flock member, I’m happy to review your purpose statement for you, and give you pointers on how to make it more powerful. If you like the idea of a purpose statement try using one. 

00:05:13

How about journaling? Do you like it? Do you love it? Does it serve a purpose for your life? Morning pages, a bullet journal or whatever format works for you. Be sure it assists you in moving forward, if you’re allowing it to take up space in your life. How about a vision board? Be sure that when you spend time with your vision board that it creates a momentum in your life, rather than creating an awareness of what you currently lack to get to those visions. Does that make sense?  We always want you moving forward. How does that vision board make you feel? 

00:05:46

Maybe for you,  you spend time alone once a year to work on yourself, be it mentally, emotionally or physically, or just being. There is a tremendous amount of power in that. There are no rules, my friend, on what needs to go in your foundational space. If you have no idea where to start, just pick two things. More than a handful of items and you may not know what to use when, but again, this is your toolbox, so you make it what you need it to be. Take inventory periodically of what is in your toolbox, as there are times when tools and resources serve our lives really well, but then, only for a season. Those seasonal items should be cleared out periodically. You may bring them back, but don’t force an item into your box because it appears to work for your best friend. Find what works for you.

00:06:36

If you are the type of person that needs me to give you direction, well then, try having three go-to items in your top-tray of your toolbox and choose two to focus on for your foundational-level, then modify from there. Consider drawing a picture of your toolbox. Label it and picture it in your mind clearly, so that when you feel you need help, you may quickly picture your options, rather than spinning into a frenzy of emotion. Let’s be honest, you may still choose the frenzy of emotion, but consciously choosing it and letting it run you, are different states of energy in your life.  Which do you prefer?

00:07:13

With that, we’ll keep this episode at a high-level and wrap it up, because I’d like to know what sorts of things help you dig deeper within yourself. What helps you to move forward? Do you have anything as of yet? How well stocked is your toolbox, my empty nest friend? 

Of course, we do dive deep into these concepts in our GPS Support Flock Membership with a workshop, worksheets and more. We’d love to have you join us and the flock can slide right into the bottom of your toolbox! [Music]

00:07:43

Two formal questions I have for you in this episode are: How is the inventory in your CEO toolbox? Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox? Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities, and share your answers to these questions with us. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:08:08

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? I visited with Amy Waterman in January. She and I chatted over video. That’s right, you won’t find this conversation on a podcast. You’ll find it on Amy’s website: YourBrilliance.com, or on her YouTube Channel Your Brilliance TV. The title of our talk? “Empty Nest Tips for Rediscovering Yourself with Coach Christine.” Amy is absolutely lovely. I encourage you to check out all of her interviews as soon as you have a chance.

00:08:48

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all. As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Guess what? You are amazing! See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5, Find Your Flock

94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5, Find Your Flock

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Continuing in the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I encourage you to find your flock - and to evaluate the flock(s) already in your life. A well-placed, positive flock in the foundational level of your CEO toolbox has the potential to lift you to heights that would be incredibly challenging, or impossible to reach if you were flying solo.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"A good flock will lift you to heights you couldn't do on your own by holding you accountable, being in line with your principles, and bringing positive energy to what you do." 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Do you have a great flock in your life? Your @emptynestcoach asks this question in this episode and you should check it out! 💚#listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider The Flock Support That You Have In Your LIfe
  • What To Look For In a Flock for Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Find Your Flock
  • To Consider Our Flocks

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do You Have a Great Flock in Your Life?
  2. Are you ready to join the GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success

Announcements

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

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Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 94 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5: Find Your Flock. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox for your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast, in this episode, making this episode a more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through.

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I’ll always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 94 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P94) I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:55

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:41

To continue some thank yous, I would like to give a shout out to five amazing ladies who jumped in a couple of weeks ago to take over my Instagram account on short notice. It was a new experience for me and for those who participated. Thank you to Carolyn Kiel of Beyond 6 Seconds, Colleen and Bridgett of Hot Flashes & Cool Topics, Katherine the 5 Kilo Traveller & Deirdre Dolan Nesline of Declutter by Dierdre. If you missed their takeovers, I saved their takeovers in an Instagram highlight, so check it out.

[Music]

00:03:11

How is your life’s toolbox doing? That Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox, is it useful? Have you fully taken inventory? Is it well stocked? Is it jam-packed and needing some cleaning out? Or is it brand new and you are wondering what to put inside? We’ve discussed in this series the top-tray of your toolbox, those self-help-esque items that are your goto beneficial things in your life that serve you well until you have time to work with your foundational items. In this episode, we continue to work through our foundational items. I have, so far, asked you to consider adding presence and adding the CEO Analysis Tool to the base of your toolbox.  That one alone took two episodes.

00:03:56

Today, I want you to consider whether or not you have a flock that you belong to, a community of humans that lift you up, encourages you and helps you to become more of who you are meant to be. I would like you to consider adding that flock or a future flock to the foundational level of your toolbox. For you, this flock may be a few individuals that you see one on one, or you may have multiple groups of people who already serve you well in this regard. If so, consider yourself lucky, and lovingly stock your toolbox with these amazing humans. I’ve been watching a lot of “Ozark” lately, so I guess I feel like I need to say this is an analogy, of course.  No stuffing of real humans in boxes, please. [Giggle]

00:04:43

Be sure that for a flock to reside in your foundational-level of your life’s toolbox that it has at minimum of these four criteria: 

First, there are no leadership issues. There is either a clear leader; no leader, where everyone is equal; or different individuals lead at different times with no drama. This is important as with no resistance or little resistance in the group, all flock members have the opportunity to become their best selves. That just is exciting, isn’t it?

Second, the flock has values, priorities and a focus that is in line with your life and plans for your life. This will assist you in remaining on the correct path for your future-self.

Third, the flock has accountability, meaning if a flock member should fall out of formation while the flock is flying, the member will notice the extra resistance and immediately get back into line. This provides you an extra boost while staying on your path. Sometimes your GPS loses its signal and this is where the flock accountability will serve you well.

Fourth, the flock brings positive energy to your life. Life is too short to spend time in a flock that may have served you well ten years ago, but every time you join them, the energy brings you down. 

If someone, or a group, came to mind to you as I said that, please, keep it in mind.

00:06:18

I discuss a bit about the power of having a community to lift you up in Episode number 17 where I introduce the Green Popsicle Stick fable. I also mention, way back in episode 3, the importance of finding social support as you enter the empty nest. A good flock will lift you up to heights you couldn’t do on your own; by holding you accountable, being in line with your principles, and bringing positive energy to what you do. A bad flock can keep you grounded for life. My friend, figure out who your flock is. Do they know the real you? Are they lifting you higher? If you already have that group, take a moment to realize how lucky you are, and I would give them a special thank you, today. 

00:07:05

Should you want to add another flock, or are in search of a flock to fill this role, I invite you to consider joining our membership group, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. I invite you to keep me posted on your toolbox progress, too. I look forward to sharing a final foundational-level message with you in our next episode. 

[Music]

00:07:27

The questions I have for you in this episode are: Do you have a great flock already in your life? Are you ready to join the GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success? We can’t wait to have you join us! Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:07:51

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? In January, I was quoted in a Redbook article titled “10 Ways to Be the Kind of Parent Your Kid Looks Up To.” My tip is number 5 and the topic is “Give them Space.” Link is in my show notes if you would like to check it out. 

00:08:13

My empty nest, CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. May you find your flock and find future-you because she is amazing.  My empty nest friend, you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

93: The CEO Toolbox Part 4B: When Your Life Stops Moving Forward – Analysis Tool Walkthrough

93: The CEO Toolbox Part 4B: When Your Life Stops Moving Forward – Analysis Tool Walkthrough

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Continuing in the series of your life’s toolbox, I walk you through the CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) Analysis Tool. We set up the tool in the last episode, and now it is time to dive in. If it resonates with you, I ask you to consider placing it in the foundational level of your toolbox. Use this as a key resource to get the momentum moving again when you find that yours halts.

I also share my first two-star review – and enjoy doing so!

My empty nest friend, I want you to do amazing things in your life, and until you understand how much power you are giving away to the world by not understanding what is within your own control, you will continue to limit yourself. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript below.   ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • How Thankful I Am For A Two-Star Podcast Review
  • How to WalkThrough and Use the CEO Analysis Tool

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How many times did you have to listen to this to get it?
  2. What questions do you have for me?

Announcements

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources


Full Transcript

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.

92: The CEO Toolbox Part 4A: When Your Life Stops Moving Forward

92: The CEO Toolbox Part 4A: When Your Life Stops Moving Forward

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Continuing in the series of your life’s toolbox, I share with you the introduction of the CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) Analysis Tool. This is the first of two episodes to cover this tool, and if it resonates with you, I ask you to consider placing it in the foundational level of your toolbox. Use it as a key resource to get the momentum moving again when you find yours halts.

Imagine that the message on the loud speaker says to you, 
“STOP! Momentum is needed. Please do your work to level-up your life, and then your travels will resume.” 

Take a listen or read the full transcript below.   ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Notice When Momentum Stops in Your Life
  • To Look At Yourself When the Momentum Stops
  • (07:35) The Introduction of the CEO Analysis Tool

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Has momentum stopped in your life in any area(s)?
  2. What ride did you imagine when I invited you to take today’s journey?

Announcements

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources


Full Transcript

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.