107: Empty Nest Transition Resources ⭐

107: Empty Nest Transition Resources ⭐

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Here we go. Another attempt at college during a pandemic. What an adventure for all of us - whether your child is heading back to campus with face masks, symptom monitoring, physical distancing, and no group hangouts, or if they are home.

No matter the choices that your family has made, motherhood is an adventure. Empty nesting shows up in our lives a little bit differently for each of us, but in the end, we all are doing our best to navigate this thing called life. If you need help discovering your future self, I'm here for you when you are ready to get to work. 

Take deep breaths, my empty nest friend (or future empty nest friend), and do your best to enjoy the ride. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I thought I would do a quick rundown of resources that I have available to you as you adjust to the empty nest - and for some of you the not-so-empty-nest."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New Podcast Episode🎙Coach Christine shares resources she has created specifically for mothers who are having trouble adjusting to the idea of the empty nest (not-so-empty-nest, too)! 💚 #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest  #EmptyNestSyndrome 

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 107 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine - Episode #107: Empty Nest Transition Resources.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

[intro] - be sure to use new 2020 intro: podcast creation files folder

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! 

00:00:45

Tomorrow, our daughter heads off to her senior year of college, in the midst of a year that continues to challenge the resilience of all humans. As promised in my last episode, this episode is going to be a quick one. I thought I would do a quick rundown of resources that I have available to you as you adjust to the empty nest - and for some of you the not-so-empty-nest.

First I’ll start with the podcast. Many of the episodes and resources I have created are pre-pandemic, so adjust as needed, as you listen. 

00:01:20

In episode 2, I discuss Is the Empty Nest real?, and some ways to combat the sadness and loneliness - remember, you aren’t alone. I created this entire podcast for amazing humans just like you. 

In episodes 3 - 7 - I dive into how much power you are giving away in your life through the thoughts in your mind. This is a deeper series and you’ll find the concept of thought deliveries throughout my podcast episodes. 

I have episodes on specific areas such as when you aren’t a fan of your child’s major (episode 9), how to get rid of guilt (episode 18), now that you have more time together - maybe your partner is driving you crazy? (episode 25), maybe you have no idea what to do with your time ahead - then check out episode 29, or if you’re looking on how to find friends in the empty nest: episode 31.

00:02:14

I also have interviews with experts - one of my favorites for the first semester is my chat with Katy Oliveira in episode 28 where we chat about what mom should expect during the first semester in college

I did a not-so-empty-nest-series when the physical distancing began for our family, and the wrap up of that series you may find particularly useful if your student is staying home for all (or part) of the school year - for whatever reason.

00:02:42

Of course, I have the GPS Support Flock Membership that will quickly fill your empty nest with ideas, thoughts, and activities for you to begin to discover who you are beneath all of the roles you’ve had for the last 18 or so years. Should you be interested in learning more about those, check out my free on-demand training session: Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life.

I’ve also been hanging out in Pinterest Stories lately, and have tried a few Instagram Reels - you may want to check those out. 

00:03:12

Of course, there is my website where you may search for anything I’ve discussed - that is  YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Should you be looking for quick tips and thoughts I’ve shared with others, be sure to check out my media & press page for additional interviews or posts that I’ve done on other people’s websites or podcasts - you’ll find this by clicking on Work With Christine and there you’ll find Media & Press in that sub-menu. 

00:03:37

Yes, fall 2020 is going to look different than fall 2019. That’s a given.  If you find yourself, now,  spiraling in thoughts that their school life should look different, that maybe it isn’t fair to them - or to you -  ask yourself, “why?” Why do I believe that it should it look different?  Did you get a different life-manual than I did that promises you things like the world you know isn’t going to change drastically? Yes, I am sneaking in a little bit of tough love here. But, I like to do that. Remember that when you live in the should have, you are arguing with reality. Look at what it IS, what is right now in your life, and choose to move forward. If you aren’t dead, my beautiful friend, how about you choose living in the now, rather than arguing with it and living in the should-haves. 

00:04:30

Feel those emotions, and try remembering this: PSPF - Patience for self, Self-Love, Patience for Others, and Fun: Be patient with yourself as you adjust to the next segment of your life’s journey, shower yourself with love - especially in your thoughts, have patience for your partner and other household members as they are navigating the change, too. Remember that their emotions don’t have to match yours, and don’t forget to have some fun along the way.  PSPF.

00:05:03

Okay, while you’re getting this on Friday, I’m off to enjoy the final week at home with my daughter - unless there is a last minute “hey, we’re all going all online” announcement - yeah, let’s keep it real - this is 2020.  

I think I already talked longer than I had planned. Thanks for listening, today. I appreciate you more than you know. 

00: 05:21

I was invited to chat with the amazing and wonderful Lauren Kinghorn of Inspiring Mompreneurs. It was great to connect with her, after meeting virtually online probably over a year ago . Take a listen and learn all about my grope calls - I mean group calls - yeah, nothing like getting that wrong in an interview - [giggle] - she has our chat on YouTube as well. Links, as always are in my show notes. 

00:05:58

My resilient friend, you are navigating a journey that no one could have expected a year ago. Your choices are right because they are the choices you have made - live in the now and consciously choose when you are thinking about the future -  always remembering that YOU, my beautiful friend, ARE AMAZING! Have a great day!

[bloopers]

00:06:35

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

[End]

106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings 💚

106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings 💚

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

This is your reminder to feel those feelings.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"...whether your child (or children) are heading back to campus or staying home - for whatever reason, I encourage you to feel those emotions. Trust that you are strong enough to process through them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙Coach Christine shares her thoughts on emotions around back to college (or not) season. 💚 #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #BackToSchool #Emotions #NewEpisode

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 106 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine.  Episode number 106: Whether Your Child is Going Back to Campus or Not, Feel those Feelings, Parents! I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode and my next one are going to be on the shorter side. Well, at least that is my plan, as my daughter is gearing up to head back to campus a week from when this airs.

This is my fourth round of her heading back to or heading to college - yes, she’s heading into her senior year. I know that there is a level of anxiety that seeps into all we do. Even on the best years of on-campus returns, it is there. From all of us - yes, even my husband partakes in it. It manifests in different ways for each of us but it is there. I’ve seen it peek out in all of us over the last week. 

I’ve noticed it in me. I’ve bumped up my presence-work a bit. But before diving into the present, I do my best to name the emotion I’m feeling  - or at least to recognize how it feels in my body - and then I see if I can identify the thought that is causing it. If you are a regular listener of my podcast, you know the drill from here.  

00:01:50

Then, I work on pulling myself into the present, if the thought and emotion continues, I always find the more present I am; the less power that has on me, until eventually it has no power. That is the beauty of being present: “in the now,”  as Eckhart Tolle says. In Coach Christine speak, hmmm… kind of like that, 

It is as if, I wake up and check in with my protector. I ask them what the delivery is, I see it,  notice what it is doing to me (oh, there is a lump in my throat, my stomach feels off), and by noticing it, the power in that thought delivery begins to already subside. 

With that in mind, whether your child (or children) are heading back to campus or staying home - for whatever reason, I encourage you to feel those emotions. Trust that you are strong enough to process through them. Sometimes, by simply naming that it is anxiety, or it is nervousness, resentment, you manage to remove a layer (or sometimes ten layers) of that emotion that has a grasp on you.

00:02:54

Remember, you aren’t your emotions.  You aren’t your feelings. You aren’t even the thoughts that you have. You are an amazing human doing their best to get from one day to the next. Be kind to yourself. Gift yourself with love.

And, yes, whether your child is heading back to campus or not, I invite you to process through those emotions, and then use the extra time you have to spend some time hanging out with them. 

Give them the space to feel their emotions (of course you wouldn’t call it that, but you’ll know what you are doing) - some ideas would be to take a walk with them - destination (or no destination), have a coffee date, maybe play a board game that they loved as a child - it’s always fun to revisit things like this. 

00:03:40

Sometimes, we look back at board books or children’s books that were beloved in our house and we see the flaws in them or the things that we loved about them and it is a really fun discussion. So, while you are looking at the supplies they need for school, in the midst of all the doing of what needs to be done - be careful not to ignore what is going on behind all of those doing actions - for all of you.

Again, spend some time focused on your protector. Calm them down so that you may hold space for your family to see what lies behind their protectors. It is a gift that you will give you and your family - even if they are completely unaware of it. 

I’ll be back in a week with another quick bite episode. Now, my beautiful friend, those family members that live in your house and you don’t have to socially distance from, give them a hug - give them a  couple of extra ones this week  and create some memories.

00:04:37

And never forget that you are amazing. See ya! 

[Bloopers]

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

[End]

105: Aaaand My Child’s School Went Online Again 😮

105: Aaaand My Child's School Went Online Again 😮

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I had another topic scheduled for today, but with my clients, friends, and colleagues struggling with figuring out their fall season this year due to school changes, I sat down in front of the mic to share some unscripted thoughts with you. Forgive the rabbit trails. 🐰

My friend, please know that while the next few months look like a hot mess, you can handle it.  

Here are some thoughts to try on. Adjust as needed. 💚

  • "This isn't what we planned at all, but we will figure out how to make it work, and I'll be patient with myself as I navigate the journey forward."
  • "This isn't what we planned. I'm not sure what the future looks like, but I can figure out my next best step at this moment - even if it is to stare at the wall to calm my brain."   
    • Let's be real. Sometimes this is needed.
  • "Online again: Well, I know what didn't work last time around. How can I change those areas?" 
  • "Online again: I can adapt in ways that I couldn't imagine a year ago. This won't look the way I had planned, and that's okay."

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be there for your children. All of the thoughts and anxiety that  you have (about our current situation) they feel that - and they have their own. So I encourage you to get to know them no matter their age - what's going on in their mind?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙Coach Christine shares unscripted thoughts with you about the online education announcements that we are being gifted with daily. 💚 #OnlineEducation #NotSoEmptyNest #SchooIsOnline #FallPlans #SchoolPlans

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Watch Your Thoughts
  • Look at What You Are Considering Homeschooling
  • Consider True Homeschooling
  • Consider Cyber Schools
  • Why I Call Our Children (even those over 18) Children
  • To Consider the Level of Risk You Are Willing to Take and Do Your Thought Work

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 105 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 105: And My Child’s School Went Online Again.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I have had two different topics that I had planned to do today, and the more I see schools moving online, be it college or elementary school, middle school, high school, and parents, you know, rightly so, going right to freak out mode.  I understand there are so many things to think about.  I thought, you know, I was a homeschooling mother, so I’d like to share some thoughts with you that hopefully help you, moving forward.

00:01:27

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a question or a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 105 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P105).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:18

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:03:06

An extra thank you to bruh bruh Cuh-zoh who graciously took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts. The encouraging review is titled: “Listening to a Friend!”  “From business, to parenting, to social issues coach Christine tackles them all in great form! I subscribed instantly and will listen regularly.”  This makes me feel so good.  Thank you.  You all know if you are regular listeners, I talk about this periodically, that podcasting is a quiet medium in regard to feedback.  So, thanks, Cuh-zoh!

00:03:41

Now, as I mentioned before, I had a totally different topic planned for today.  But here it is Sunday, the episode comes out Friday, and I’ve been watching colleges and schools move back to being online for fall, due to COVID-19.  Make sure you are really watching your Protector around all of the changes that are happening for your family’s schooling situation.  If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that we can handle change.  We initially think we’re not going to be able to handle this.  It’s going to be awful.  All of the plans we had are up in the air or not happening at all.  But guess what?  We can handle it.

00:04:26

We need to check our thoughts.  We need to be in tune with our Protector.  We need to watch those thought deliveries that are continually being tossed at us over and over, and over again, from our family members, from the media, from school, from well-intentioned friends, from friends who have different views and values, and ideas about how the upcoming school year is going to go.  You need to know you.  You need to watch your thought deliveries 100 percent.  

00:04:59

I want to say a few things about if your child is going online, and I’m going to talk about all age ranges real quick.  If your child’s school is online, and they are younger than high school, I want to challenge you in that if you thought what you did in the spring was homeschooling, I just want to say, no, it was not.  That’s all.

00:05:23

Well, no, that’s not all.  But when your brick and mortar school is forced to go online very quickly to an infrastructure that they are not set up to do; that teachers are not educated in how to teach online; that your child probably can do it better than them, because they spend more time on technology.  I’m not talking about subject matter.  That, and then you expecting to help them teach a lesson that you know nothing about, that my friend, is not homeschooling.  I don’t want you to give homeschooling a bad rap, because homeschooling can be amazing.  Amazing!  There are no forms to fill out.  Well, you have your end of year and beginning of year, and things you need to do for your state that you live in, legal things.  But you don’t have these forms coming in daily that you have to sign for tomorrow.  You don’t have projects that your child didn’t tell you about, that you suddenly have to help them with.  Your parent/teacher conferences are now you are heading out to have coffee, and you can pat yourself on the back, because you got to plan your day.  Yeah, homeschooling has really bad days, but it also has really good days, and you have a lot more control on what it looks like.  Guess what?  I didn’t even teach new math.  I didn’t have to.  [Giggle].

00:06:51

I just want to share with you, if your child’s young and you do have the opportunity to do traditional homeschooling, and that would work for your family, do research.  Look into it.  You can reach out to me; email me, DM me on the socials.  I am happy to talk about homeschooling, any time.  

00:07:09

Homeschooling for every family looks different.  Some have no curriculum whatsoever, that’s called unschooling.  Others replicate what brick and mortar school looks like right in their house, and that’s what works for them.  It’s all good.  And then, in the middle you have cyber schools, so I want to introduce you to the idea of cyber schools if you haven’t considered them.  Whether it’s temporary or long-term, it might be the right fit for your family, right now.

00:07:36

I share this with you because cyber schools are already set up with the infrastructure to teach online.  They already have teachers who are used to teaching online.  They have a support system, maybe not enough this year, because I’m willing to bet that most cyber schools are completely inundated with enrollment requests, but they normally have plenty of people that will help you and they know what to look for when your child isn’t doing well.  They have check-in sessions.  They can handle the IEPs online, so definitely check this out.  I’m not saying it’s the way to go, just check it out.

00:08:18

Now, if your child is technically an adult, 18 or over, yes, I like to use child no matter the age, because I’m still my mother’s child, and I’m almost 50.  Back to college.  So your child’s school moves online.  Take deep breaths.  Try to hold your thoughts until you're alone: say them out loud; say them to a friend; write them down.  Encourage your child to do the same thing.  There are a lot of variables here, too.  Who’s paying for college, is it you?  Is it them?  Do they have merit scholarships, where if they don’t go back, if they take a gap year, they’re going to lose it?  So ultimately, it doesn’t make any financial sense for them not to attend, even if it is only online. 

00:09:09

Here’s the thing, I don’t have the answer for you.  What my child’s doing and what your child’s doing, does not have to be the same.  It doesn’t have to look remotely the same.  We have totally different circumstances.  The reason my daughter is at the school she is, is completely for her to have peers that she has not had in her life.  It is the best decision we have ever made, and for her to stay home, online, at a time when she could be on campus.  Yes, there are risks involved.  We are well aware of them.  But she has decided it’s worth the risk.  She might change her mind in a week, and that’s okay.  But ultimately, the things that we can control, the things that make the biggest difference in our lives, are knowing who we are as humans, and encouraging our children to know who they are as humans.  And to be able to make a decision knowing all the facts that you know in the moment, to feel peaceful with that, and to be able to look ahead in a few years, think about yourself, and then try looking back, and going, hmm, do I think I’m happy with that decision?  Do I wish I had taken the risk?  Do I wish I had stayed home instead of taking the risk?  Who am I?

00:10:28

This is really valuable work, and it shouldn’t be something that is decided based on what you read online; based on what 80 percent of the people are doing.  Yes, it should be decided on facts that impact health, your immune system and safety, and from there, the actual decision should be yours.  It should be your child’s, your family’s, and move forward.  Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.  There is a lot of worrying what everyone else is doing.  Guess what?  No, everyone is not going to wear their mask at a college campus.  We all know this.  But you can go to Walmart and people aren’t all wearing masks, so let’s be real.  

00:11:21

This is how life works.  You figure out what risk you’re willing to take and you take it, or you don’t take it, and that’s the decision you make.  And then, you have a lot of thought work to do around that decision.  Like, a lot of thought work.  Just when you think you’re done with that thought work, there’s going to be more.  Yup, it’s a big roller coaster, and that is from my flock member, Michelle.

00:11:48

So my friend, I really, really, really, really could talk about homeschooling versus not homeschooling, and I really didn’t talk about it a lot in here, because I just know it will be four hours long.  If you want to know something: if you want to know thoughts; if you want to know what my experience is; just ask a question and I am more than happy to answer it in an upcoming episode.  I think that’s the best way to go, rather than me talk for 40 minutes about something that might not be of interest to you.  But know this, you know what’s best.  You need to trust yourself.

00:12:20

Your child, if they’re 18 or older, and they can drive away and pay for their college, and they decide to do something that you think is just not the right decision, well, I bet you did some of that stuff when you were their age.  This is their time to figure it out: to try the crazy things; to try the things that, yeah, there might be a lot of risk; it might be amazing; it might be awful, but you don’t know until you try.  Be there for your children right now.  All the thoughts and anxiety that you have about our current situation, they feel that, and they have their own.  I encourage you to get to know them no matter their age.  What’s going on in their mind?  You know?  If they’re five, hey, how’re you doing today?  Do you have any big thoughts that you want to talk about?  If they’re 18, be like, hey, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now, but like, if there’s anything that you just want to throw out there, and we can discuss, let’s do it.  There is no better way to get to know your kids.  But hold the space for them.  Listen to them.  If your gut reaction is to be like, ugh, I don’t like this, and you can feel it, just stop.  Take deep breaths.  Be curious about why you’re thinking that, and you know, be curious to them, why do you think that’s going to happen?  Why do you think that wouldn’t happen to you?  Enjoy this.  If you get more time with your kids right now, enjoy it, because the empty nest is going to show up eventually.

00:14:08

While you may have a honeymoon period where you are very excited that your children are back in school, or moved out of the house, there comes a time where you realize you miss them.  So take deep breaths, enjoy the time with them now, and bond so that when they do leave, they find themselves wanting to call mom.  Maybe not everyday.  All right, I’m just going to stop there.  Let me know what you think.  I’ll be back next week.  Remember, my friend, you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening] - Lessons from a spider web - Episode #26 - Changing Your Mind is Okay.

[End]

104: Campfire Lessons – Did You Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

104: Campfire Lessons: Did you Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

A few weeks ago, I booked a local campsite for 24 hours to reset myself. Wow, I needed that! In this episode, I share my campfire thoughts with you. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Giving up at any one step doesn't mean you are a failure; it just means you stopped doing it."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 Coach Christine shares her campfire thoughts with you in this episode: failure and adjustments are today's topic 💚 #Campfire #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #CampfireLesson #NewEpisode #StopTrying #MovingForward

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A Couple of Useful Thoughts To Have When You are Working Toward a Goal

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?
  2. Have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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Subscribe To This Podcast

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 104 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 104: Campfire Lessons:  Did You Fail or Did You Stop Trying?  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  If this is your first time here, thanks for checking out my podcast.  If you are a regular listener, I can’t thank you enough.  Today’s episode is primarily my thoughts as I sat by the campfire recently.  You know I love analogies and I’m fairly certain I’ve shared this one in a variety of ways with you but always, I make a small spin that’s different.  Thanks for listening to my casual fireside chat, quite literally, I hope you enjoy it!

00:01:23

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 104 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P104).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:12

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:55

An extra thank you today, to Dale@CrushCollegeStress who took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts!  Thank you, Dale!  She titled her review “Coffee With a Friend” and well, I am going to encourage you to head over to Apple Podcasts and read it yourself.  Maybe leave your own review while you are there.  Yeah, I’m going to make you work today.

00:03:23

I would like to let you all know that I understand the upcoming fall season may not look the way you were expecting it to look. I’m going to add a chat area in the GPS Support Flock membership specific to the Not So Empty Nest, so if you are struggling with your children not leaving the house, that space will be for you. 

All right, let’s get to our campfire chat.

00:03:47

Hi, so I am at a campsite, and I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.  I shared it a little bit on Instagram.  Excuse my stuffed up nose, my allergies are off the charts, but I love being in nature so much, it is worth it to me.  I am at a campsite.  It’s local.  I drive about 28 minutes to get to this place, and last night, my daughter and I came out, did a campfire, we went back home.  That was enough for her.  She does not like the exit of the tent at night or the restrooms, when you come out and it’s suddenly, like really dark.  She is not a fan of sleeping over.  I normally do, but I thought let me try this, with COVID, and everything, any extra time I spend in the public restrooms is probably not good.  I went home last night, slept, came back this morning, by myself.  I’ve been reading, doing a couple posts on Instagram, prepping for an interview that’s coming up in a few weeks, which you would have already heard, with Dr. Jill Grimes, or I guess I say it Jill Grimes, MD, is the proper way to say it.

00:05:04

So many thoughts are with me about building a fire.  When I build a fire, first of all, it took me multiple times to get to a point where I can open my toolbox and easily grab the magnesium and steel, and feel confident enough that within a minute max, I will have a flame on a cotton ball.  So that’s how I start my fire.  But it took me time to get to that point, right?  So that’s like step one.  It’s like leveling up.  If you look at my analogies back with leveling up, and simmering, this whole thing’s a big simmer.  That was level up one.  Then, there’s the wood.  I’ve talked about this, I think in my retreat video, where in other places, fires just used to always be taken care of by the men who were camping, and it’s just something I wanted to be able to do.  Figuring out where the wood is, to purchase.  I’m in Pennsylvania, you can’t bring wood from an outside area in, because of bugs and lantern flies.  The last time I stayed here it took me 10 or 15 minutes to drive outside of the park to find somebody selling the wood.  I knew that ahead of time, now.  I picked that up on the way in, so that was easy. Okay, there’s another level up, and that’s kind of a side later level up, when you think about it chronologically.

00:06:38

Then there’s the wood.  Now watching the men in the family build fires, there were two types of wood they always used.  Now, I know that they were using, tinder and logs, and that’s really it.  Sometimes maybe newspapers would be put in there.  Sometimes we’d use firelogs to start the fire, or those little FireStarter packets that would start the fire, and it would go long enough so that a log would catch.  So, it took me a while to actually go, okay, I’m not doing this right.  How am I going to do this?  So, you know, Youtube to the rescue, and discover that tinder, kindling and the log are all needed, and the tinder is what I had prior called kindling, just to confuse you.  Discovering this is awesome.  There’s this middle piece of wood that I have needed.

00:07:43

So then, I went and bought an axe.  This is two or three levels up in camping trips.  I bought my own axe, you know that story if you listen to me.  I love my axe.  It’s green, of course.  And learned that after I purchase the wood, I can split it some more and create some kindling, and then, from that, you can create tinder, or I just pick up sticks from the ground.  All right, so those are the components.  That’s like a whole other level up.  But then, it’s like putting it all together.  I have all the pieces.  I think I’ve camped five or six times solo, that I’ve tried this or with family where I’ve started to learn how to build my own fire.  For the first time, this weekend, I was able to very quickly know what to do, remember all the steps.  I did call tinder and kindling the reverse.  I was teaching my daughter, no, this is tinder and this is kindling.  I was wrong, and I needed to learn another thing because I was having trouble with my axe trying to get pieces of kindling out of the logs for this trip, but I figured it out.  I went home, looked it up and I can consistently, now build a fire.  So there’s the one lesson, is in anything that you do, you have all these steps involved.  And giving up at any one step, doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means you stopped doing it.  Right?  I could have stopped at any point and said I can’t make a fire.  It doesn’t mean I can’t make a fire, it just means I stopped trying.  So, there’s lesson one.  Lesson two is once you get to a point where the fire is going, multiple times it will look like it is going out, and if you don’t maintain the fire, and at first, it needs a lot of work.  Just like if you’re losing weight, if you’re building a business, if you’re discovering who you are.  If you want a new career, if you want to learn a new hobby.  The very beginning, there’s a lot of work involved with it.  Learning all the pieces, and it’s the same thing.  Hello, airplane.  Do you hear the airplane?  I will wait ‘til the airplane passes.

00:10:01

Okay, I think the plane’s gone enough.  So, as you build the fire, and you get started, it takes a lot of work in the beginning to get the flames going enough to get the tinder caught, then get the kindling caught to catch onto the log.  Follow me?  Now we have a fire.  Let’s say we got to the point where the fire’s burning.  If you leave it and walk away, it will eventually go out.  It doesn’t mean that there aren’t things of value at the bottom of that fire.  There are those coals.  If you walk up to the fire that looks like it’s out, sometimes all you need to do is blow, give it a little air and it will reignite completely.  That’s just like anything we learn.  Sometimes when we go back to it, we think like it’s gone, we’re not going to do it anymore.  But we go back and it’s so much easier to start because those coals are going there for us.  Sometimes, we let it go so long, we don’t maintain it, we don’t keep up on things, that it’s not just blowing a little air on it.  We also need to move the logs around a little bit, so we need to just flip them.  Move them in different areas.  We don’t even necessarily need to add anything, just flip things around, mix it up and suddenly you have a full fire again.  

00:11:27

So I want to encourage you if you’re working on something whether it’s yourself, it’s a project with others, just know no fire just goes right from magnesium and steel, flick, phoom, into a fire you can now cook over, and take care of yourself, and heat yourself.  No, there’s work.  There’s stages and they are all worth it.  They’re all worth it.  The best part is the skills that you learn in building the fire are now things that you can come back to and utilize again.  You can start a brand new fire in a different area in your life, and you have the skills, the resources and you have the faith in yourself that you can come back and complete it.  Enjoy, there’s your campfire lesson for today.  I believe in you.  You can process through the moments that feel like you’re making no progress.  Sure you can walk away, and that is your decision.  Also know that you can walk away and come back later.  I believe in you, you are amazing.  Thanks for listening.  This is your campfire lesson for today.

[Music]

00:12:39 

I hope you enjoyed my fireside chat, friend.  The questions I have for you in this episode are: do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?  And two, have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

[Music]

00:13:01

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lancaster here, MidLife Mentor from MagnificentMidLife.com.  Today, I’d like you to remember that even if you feel like you’re stuck in the messy middle of life, you are actually coming into your prime.  And midlife is absolutely the time for you to shine.

00:13:26

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast.  It’s free. Go ahead. You can do it right now. If you already have and you can take a screenshot of this episode and share it on the socials, that would be incredible.  My handle is @EmptyNestCoach.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  Well, it is time for me to wrap this up, and you know what that means, it is time for me to remind you that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening] - Join the flock for July 2020's social media workshop!

[End]

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 Featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, Author and a Family Physician Focused on College Student Health

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, MD

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

If your child is scheduled to head back to campus in four to six weeks, you may have questions about how to best prepare for campus during COVID.

In this episode, I have great fun chatting with Dr. Jill about this topic. We talk about forms, checklists, favorite chapters of her new book, and so much more!

Her book, The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook, Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness, is the perfect reference book for both you and your child. I give it my five happy chick rating, and I invite you to  listen to the full episode. 

We created the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist! Click here or the image below to print your copy now. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Podcast episode!🎙 Is your college student heading back to campus in a few weeks? @JillGrimesMD and @emptynestcoach have some tips for you! 💚 #CollegeParent #EmptyNest #CollegeLife #CollegeStudent #FallSemester #BackToCampus

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Learn how Dr. Jill became an author and an on-campus health provider
  • What forms Dr. Jill plans to complete ahead of time for her college-aged daughters
  • Student health care center tips and advice
  • The moment we came up with the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist
  • And more!

Where to Find Dr. Jill Grimes Online

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you picked up Dr. Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?   
  2. What question do you wish I had asked Dr. Jill?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 103 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for a Different Campus. This is Part 2 of 2, featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, author, and a family physician focused on college student health. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:00

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! In this episode, I welcome Dr. Jill Grimes to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am crazy excited to have her here. I have read her book: “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness.” It is fabulous. I’m going to keep the copy I have for myself and pick up another one for my daughter. Yes, it’s that good. Speaking of my daughter, I asked her to take a look at my copy of Dr. Jill’s book. My daughter’s comment was, “This book will be great to have in my dorm room, especially as a peer RA, as residents may have concerns that I don’t know anything about.”

00:01:46 

Well done, Dr. Jill, on creating one of the few resources that when I shared with my daughter, I didn’t get the “Okay, Mom” eye roll. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.  No, my friend, I’m not immune to it either.

 

00:02:01

Dr. Jill Grimes is a nationally recognized medical media expert, award-winning author, medical editor, and Board-Certified Family Physician.  Her passion is prevention.  After two decades of private practice, Dr. Grimes now enjoys seeing patients part-time at the University of Texas in Austin.  What you, my listener will be interested in is that she is also a proud mom to two awesome collegiate daughters.

00:02:29

I don’t think I could find a more perfect guest for this podcast at this particular time.  My daughter’s scheduled to head back to college in four weeks, so this is timely for me, as well.  Dr. Jill’s book is a wonderful reference book containing topics such as sunscreen, tattoos, hangovers, the “missing” tampon, nose bleeds, and so much more.  You know that first aid kit I mentioned in the last episode?  Dr. Jill’s book has a Bonus Section about your DIY First Aid Kit.  You have to check it out for yourself.  I give this book my highest rating, five happy chicks! 

 

00:03:09

At the end of this episode, I’m also going to give you a couple of follow up things that Dr. Jill and I talked about offline after the recording.  She has a blog, media interviews and more on her website, so I encourage you to dive into those to learn more about amazing Dr. Jill.  Also, if you find you wish I asked her other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them in as an audio message or email, and we’ll see if we can get them answered on an upcoming episode!  I’ll be asking her a handful or so of questions today.

 

00:03:40 

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 103 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P103). I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:04:30

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:05:16

Christine:  Welcome to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, Dr. Jill Grimes.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much for having me.  I’m thrilled to be here.

Christine:  I’m thrilled to have you here today, and I love that your daughter is the illustrator of your book.  Now, was that something that you had planned all along, or did it just happen to work out?

Dr. Jill:  Oh, my goodness, I am just thrilled that it worked out.  No, it was not something I planned all along.  In fact, I just didn’t think a publisher would agree to that, because they have in-house artists.  What happened is, my daughter, I’ve been asking her to draw pictures and sketches for my medical presentations for years now, because that way I don’t have to worry about copyrights.  She’s done them; I’m not stealing anyone’s ideas, and besides that, I can make it look how I want to make it look.  She was doing that, and when I submitted my book proposal, I submitted her pictures along with it.  They said, well, is she available to be the illustrator, and I’m like, yes.  I’m thrilled.  It worked out great.

Christine:  I love that so much, and I identify with it, because I’ve also had my daughter make drawings for me, for the same reason.

Dr. Jill:  Yes, it’s super convenient.  I will say, in fairness to my daughter, she had actually already had a job at her university.  She attends Loyola Marymount University in LA, and she got a job as an illustrator for their press.  She had already had that work experience which certainly gave her a leg up in getting the job.

Christine:  That’s excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Proud mom brag.  I’m allowed.

Christine:  Yeah, go her.  That’s awesome.  Well, I’ve already taken the liberty of introducing you to my listener already, so if it’s okay with you, I’d like to jump right into my questions for you.  Are you good with that?  

Dr. Jill:  Outstanding. Absolutely.

Christine:  Awesome.  So what brought you to where you are today, working part-time, writing books, serving college patients?

Dr. Jill:  My path has been a little bit unusual.  So, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, from the time I was very little.  Neither of my parents were doctors.  My dad was a professor, and my mom was a mom, and a fabulous one.  They told me I could anything and be anything, and I wanted to be a doctor, and I did become one.  I started off with my own private practice, which I loved, but unfortunately, my mother developed Alzheimer’s and at the same time, our kids were very young, and it was just too much.  There’s only so many hours in the day, so I went to part-time, and then, a few years later, I’m like, no, it’s still too much running my own practice, even with another physician.  And so, I stopped my own practice, and went to work for someone else, where I could just walk in, be the doctor, walk out, and not have to hire and fire staff, and do all of that, and that was great.  Meanwhile, I ended up writing my first book, and I sort of naïvely thought as a doctor I could write a book, and the publisher would take it and go put in bookstores and it would sell, and I would keep being a doctor and that’s how it would go.  They said, no, that’s not how it works.  So, I ended up becoming a media person, and doing a lot of radio and some television, and speaking to larger groups and that was, you know, part of my career.  So, I stayed part-time, and I’m also that “Girl Scout Mom.”  So, I was the Girl Scout leader, and then in a national charity league, which was a mother/daughter service organization.  I loved being super involved.  Our daughters both danced.  I was the team photographer.  So as you can see, like many of us, I like doing a lot of different things, and I’m not the primary breadwinner.  My husband is.  He is also a physician.  In our family, it worked for me to stay part-time, and then, after getting into this book writing thing, and I’m realizing I had more books in me that I wanted to do.  I want to just be even more part-time, and as our kids went off to college, I’ve always been involved with their friends and their age group, so it was a really natural fit for me to work in a college setting.  And I live in Austin, and the University of Texas, I had worked there just you know helping out occasionally over the years for many years, and they needed me.  I wanted to be there, and so I’m very part-time there, but it’s wonderful ‘cause it works for both of us.

Christine:  That’s fantastic.

Dr. Jill:  Kind of a long answer, sorry.

Christine:  No, I love those answers.  More for us to get to know you.  

Dr. Jill:  There you go.

Christine:  It’s also, as you’re talking, I’m like, she’s so perfect for us to listen to right now.   And a total slacker in the mom department, that’s sarcasm.  So, I know you have at least one daughter heading back to campus in the fall?

Dr. Jill:  Two.  I have two.  One’s in grad school, and she’s in Saint Louis at Wash U, and then the younger one is a Loyola Marymount.

Christine:  Awesome.  So, with them going back to college, or I guess, the grad school, she’s there already, probably?  Right?  Is she there yet?

Dr. Jill:  Actually, no.  She’s remote also, unfortunately.

00:10:14

Christine:  Okay, so, this question works.  Okay.  Awesome.  So, as a doctor, wear your doctor hat more, and parent hat a little bit, what’s your biggest concern with your children heading back to campus, in our current pandemic?  And is there anything you’re doing in preparation for that?

Dr. Jill:  Well, it’s a little hard to sort out, because obviously I wear the different hats.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  But honestly, one of my concerns is just that COVID is going to be tying up the healthcare system so much, that I want to be sure that our girls are even more prepared than usual, to take care of all their non-COVID health issues.  Of course, I’m a text away for them, and that’s great, but particularly the younger one, out in LA, does not have a car and so I want to make extra sure that her college first aid kit is super well stocked, because if, you know, she’s got a cough, well, then I’m going to be worried about COVID.

Christine:  Right.  I know.

Dr. Jill:  But still, but if she has a cough from just having allergies --

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  -- I want to make sure that she’s got more on hand and understands when she’s supposed to use what.  We have spent a little bit of time already this summer, talking about some of those different things, and you know, when is it appropriate to access the healthcare system and all of that.  Obviously, with COVID, everything is different and honestly, my biggest challenge has been finding them a new thermometer, because, you know, you can’t find thermometers.  They’re sold out.

Christine:  I somehow got some on Amazon.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.

Christine:  I must have gotten really lucky.  

Dr. Jill:  Yes.

Christine:  I can’t find disinfecting wipes.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  It’s a challenge.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  I’ve always been a proponent of the digital oral thermometers, and that’s what I was looking for.  Now, they have all the no-touch infrared ones, and I am assuming that they are relatively accurate.  The things that have the roller on them, that it rolls across the forehead, those are not accurate.  

Christine:  Oh, good to know.

Dr. Jill:  The ear ones are mostly accurate.  I haven’t seen any great studies on the accuracy of the other ones, which is of course, what everyone is relying on, as we move forward with COVID.

Christine:  Yeah.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  There’s some different challenges this year, but I think the biggest one is going to be the ability to access the healthcare system when they need it, because the healthcare system is going to be tied up with COVID.

Christine:  That’s a really good point.  It’s interesting, because I was just reading, in my daughter’s school’s policy and procedure.  If you think you have COVID, because we started talking about this, you go to the health center, at her school, they’ll do contact tracing, and they’ll do a test for her.  And that’s her school, I know they’re all a little different.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  But what we were talking about is that then she’ll move, like say she tests positive, she moves to an off campus --

Dr. Jill:  To a quarantine.

Christine:  -- and I said, you know, I think we should think about this.  What if that happens?  You’re not going to have much notice.  It’s kind of like you’re pregnant, and you need that bag, or at least the list.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  Exactly.

Christine:  ‘Cause you’re not going be able to go back to your dorm room --

Dr. Jill:  No.

Christine:  -- during this time.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  So, the one thing that’s a little different is that if they’re going to go -- I want to say, for the listeners, in general, most of the health centers are not going to say to go there.  They’re going to say you need to call first, and that’s an actual phone call, not just a text and getting an appointment online.

Christine:  Good point.

Dr. Jill:  Because they want to talk with you through the triage nurses, and make sure that you’re coming in the right entrance, and you know, all the schools are going to handle this a bit differently.  But almost all of them that I’m aware of, start with a phone call, which is not something our college kids are necessarily used to doing.

Christine:  No, not at all.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  Second thing is, when you go, whether you’re going to a hospital or whether you’re going to a clinic, be sure you take your electronic chargers with you.  Because once you go into isolation, that’s going to be your connection, and you’re going to need your charger.  That’s something that ordinarily, kids don’t always pack those in their backpack automatically.  They’ll have their phone; they always have their phone, but you need the charger, too, and not just the portable.

Christine:  Yeah.  We need a list.  Let’s do a list.

Dr. Jill:  It’s a good idea.  We should do a list.  I agree.

Christine:  We’re going to do a list, listener.  We’re going to have that available, because I think you’re going to have your own special list, but I think having a starting point would be really good.  We’ll talk offline, if that’s okay, Dr. Jill.

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  

Christine:  Excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.  Absolutely.

Christine:  Okay.  Here’s my next question, those of us who already have our children in college, should have already thought of this, but sometimes we don’t.  Are there any medical forms or processes, that we as college parents, should have already filled out, that maybe we didn’t think about.  I know there’s some things with age, like sometimes they don’t even have to tell us as parents, things that happen.  Are there any pitfalls that you see in college patients with the process?

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  So let me start by saying, again, I have a graduate student, and a rising senior in college.  I have never filled out forms in advance, so this is new for all of us, and with COVID, I actually think it is a good idea to go ahead and fill out, there are a couple of forms, each school will probably have their own HIPAA release.  HIPAA is the privacy act forms.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  And so there’s a release of information and you can check on your child’s -- not child, your young adult.

Christine:  I say child.  Aren’t they always our children?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah, they’re still our babies.  They’re babies.  Anyway, you can check on their university’s website, and see if they have a specific form, or you can go to -- I know there’s several online paraform organizations, like one is called Mama Bear forms, and I’m not speaking for them; I have not used them myself, but I know I’m aware of many people who have.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  I understand it’s about $50 to get two forms, and one is the release and the other is the medical power of attorney, and that would be important if your child, who is 21, or whatever, anything over 18, if they were unconscious in a hospital, unable to make decisions on their own.  This would really smooth things out paperwork wise, if you had this already filled out and notarized ahead of time.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  And so, this year, I probably will go ahead and do those forms for both of our daughters. 

Christine:  That’s really good information.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  The other thing I really want to say is that as a provider at a university, honestly, it’s really not to me, it’s our nursing staff, and our phone triage people, get inundated with angry parents saying, I want to know is my kid there, being seen.  I need all the parents to know, we can’t even say that they’re there, or they’re not there, not without your child’s permission. 

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  So our hands are tied, so please don’t be upset with the health staff, they’re not trying to be difficult.  Honestly, we’re trying to do the best we can for your kid.  For something like, something we see all the time, like say your kid is really sick there, so they’ve got food poisoning, or they’ve got mono, and they’re just really down and out, and we need to kind of have them there for a bit, maybe to give them some IV fluids.  The parents know that they were on their way there, and it’s just like, text your kid.  They can text back.  We don’t take away their phones.  They can answer and most providers are going to be willing to talk to a parent, but we can’t call the parent, if the student is talking to the parent, and the student, right there in front of you says, “Would you talk to my parent,” and hands us the phone, then we can say something.  Every school’s got their nuances of that, but just know that the healthcare providers are really -- we care about the kids a ton.  I don’t know anyone that works where I work that doesn’t just honestly love college students.  We’re all there, there’s not a lot of money in college health.  We’re there because we love the environment; we love the enthusiasm; we love young people, and we want to help them.  Please know that your kids are in good hands.

Christine:  Yes.  That makes me feel good as a parent.

Dr. Jill:  We give a lot of hugs.

Christine:  Well now, social distanced, right?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  Yeah.  I guess, now we don’t.  No, we’re not hugging.  Virtual hugs.

Christine:  Yeah, exactly.  I have a new favorite GIF and it’s the little raccoon that does this.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  Exactly.

Christine:  I’ll have to put it in my show notes.  It’s very important.

Dr. Jill:  Absolutely.

Christine:  So, Dr. Jill has a book that she’s written, and there is a theme -- I’m going to talk about it a little more in a bit, but there’s a familiar theme in your book, I noticed, about washing your hands --

Dr. Jill:  Pre-COVID.

Christine:  Yes.  This is pre-COVID.  Washing your hands to avoid illnesses, and while it isn’t COVID-specific, I see the knowledge dropped already within your book, on how to minimize your chances of picking up the common cold and such, which is great.  Why does it take us humans a pandemic to notice these things, not that I expect you to have an answer.  But that isn’t my question.  My question is related to your book.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Do you have a favorite chapter of your book, and if so, why is it your favorite chapter?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so every author out there knows that that’s like asking like, do I have a favorite child, so hard to pick.  But I will say a little bit in deference to our younger child, who’s the illustrator, probably if I had to only pick one topic in this, it would be the insomnia chapter, because I was talking with her about doing illustrations and figuring out which chapters we could use pictures for, and I’m like, oh, this is great, we can have all the solutions to insomnia in this picture.  That’s my favorite chapter.  One, because there’s a ton of things that kids can do that they don’t realize, kids and adults, in and out of school, ways that you can - - insomnia, before you ever get to the point of being so frustrated that you haven’t slept in a week, and in college student’s case, that they’re flunking a class, then coming in.  So this gives them a lot of things that they can do on their own, and tells them again, when it’s come in and let us help.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thanks.

Christine:  Now, I’ve got to go back and look at that chapter.  So this week, I actually received a listener question for you.  

Dr. Jill:  Great.

Christine:  Thanks to Deb, from Connecticut, for the following question.  I’m going to read it for you.  “Hi Christine, I think parents need to talk to their kids about what happens if they do get COVID when returning to college.  If they’re close enough, do they come home?  Is there a COVID dorm?” Well, we’ve already talked about that, that the college offers, and would they be expected to stay there.  Think about the options before they go and discuss.  Emotions will be running high --

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  -- if they do come down with it.  Interestingly enough, we covered a lot of it, but yeah.  Any additional thoughts on that?

Dr. Jill:  I think setting expectations upfront is really good and helpful, and yes, if I get that phone call that one of our girls has COVID, is my instinct going to be to jump on a plane, ‘cause my kids are a thousand miles away in different directions, you know, is that going to be my instinct?  Yes, that’s going to be my instinct.  Am I going to do it?  I hope not.  One thing we really need to remember is that although COVID is scary for a lot of reasons, still the vast majority of disease is mild, and hopefully, if and when our kids get it, they will fall under that category of mild disease.  They’re going to be uncomfortable.  They’re going to be achy.  They might be miserable, but it may not be medically scary, and I don’t think we need to immediately go somewhere.  

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  The great thing is that now we’ve got our smartphones, we can see them, we can Facetime.  We can talk with them.  I don’t think we need to be just running -- we’re not going to swoop them in and take them to a hotel.  I’m sure that when you check into a hotel, they’re going to say, “Do you have COVID?”

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  I don’t think ethically we can take someone with COVID to a hotel.  Could you do an AirBNB?  Yeah, I think that honestly, I think that’s a reasonable thing.  I think if my kid were in a situation where I felt I needed to be there, that’s probably what I would do, is I would try and rent a home, rather then -- because I don’t think ethically, you can take them to a hotel, with the shared ventilation systems and all of that.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  Just talking with them ahead of time, to say, hey, you know, if you get this, the first thing that’s going to happen is you’re going to be isolated, we want to make sure that you have your phone charger and your phone, and your iPad and your computer, and the chargers for those with you.  You’ll have to figure out how the campuses are going to be delivering food to them.  How are they going to check their symptoms and move forward? All of this changes, of course, if your child actually were to be immune-compromised.  We know if our kids have special risk factors that would change our immediate concern.  But if they are the average overall healthy kid, and asthma does not seem to be making COVID worse, oddly enough.  We have not really seen a big thing like that, so if they’re a standard, overall healthy kid, I don’t think we need to be swooping in immediately.

00:23:06

Christine:  That’s good advice.  I like your honesty, too.  I hopefully will not swoop in.  I appreciate that.

Dr. Jill:  You know?

Christine:  I know.  We’re moms.

Dr. Jill:  And it depends on the kids.  You’ve the introverted kid who’s doing just fine in social isolation, and you’ve got an extroverted kid, who is really missing that.  There’s so many factors that weigh into this, but there you go.

Christine:  There really is.  All right.  So, if you could have all of the college parents in the whole world in one huge room, obviously, social distanced.  This is a big hypothetical.  And you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?

Dr. Jill:  This is a tough one.  I’ve actually been thinking about this since you told me you were going to ask me this, because I’ve got 30,001 things I want to say.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  But I think one thing for all of us to remember, and this is directed at me, too, is that:  one, young people are resilient, we’ve already seen that; two, this is sort of - - but not really, not every day of college is fantastic.  If I say think about college right now.  If someone tells me that, I’m going to think about Aggie football games and having so much fun, and the super awesome times that I had in college.  I am not going to think about the night that I sat in my dorm room sobbing hysterically when my first boyfriend broke up with me, or the day that I bombed the test and I thought, oh, my God, I’ll never get into medical school, or the, or the, or the, or the.  We all have those other things.

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  The problem is, is our kids grew up, and especially now, in this high pressure, what college are you going to, and all of that that we do to our kids.  We didn’t grow up saying oh, yeah, I had bad days in college.  They grew up hearing us or going with us to football games, and having these fabulous times.  One of the things that I think we forget to tell our kids, is that it’s not all great, and that’s okay.  Because the problem is --

Christine:  So true.

Dr. Jill:  -- they have this image of everything in college is going to be fantastic.  If they weren’t popular in high school, they’re going to go there and suddenly be popular, or if maybe they were super popular in high school, they get to college and they’re not that big fish in a little pond.  But there’s all kinds of disappointments that happen.  A lot of which happen in that first semester away from home, and it’s twice as hard because they think, oh, my God, these are the best years of my life.  That’s what I’ve been told, over and over.  So my one piece of advice is to say, yeah, college, I would say at that point in my life, that was the best time of my life, but it’s not all great, and each year gets better, and each year gets better after college, too.  We have to have more perspective.

Christine:  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  It’s such great advice.  It really is.  I say this often, is that I think one of the detriments is that we aren’t taught early on in life that life isn’t supposed to be perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  So everyday, things aren’t perfect, so we lose control, and if you just realize, okay, this is the not-perfect thing right now, I mean, it’s not always that easy to say that, but it helps.

Dr. Jill:  And COVID sure is making things not perfect. 

Christine:  Wow, we are really being tested this year.

Dr. Jill:  We’re mastering that one.  Got that one down.  Nailed it.

Christine:  We do.  So what’s the best way for my listener to pick up your amazing book?

Dr. Jill:  Well, because of COVID, I’m going to say the best thing you could do is to support your local bookstores, because I love small independent bookstores.  So, one, start there.  Order it in advance, and then they’ll either deliver to you by mail, or you can drive up and pick it up.  So I would say that number one.  Number two, of course, is on Amazon, and actually, it is also on Walmart and Target online.  If you’re on there shopping for your other dorm stuff, just add it to your cart.

Christine:  Go you, Dr. Jill.  You’re everywhere!  I love it.

Dr. Jill:  I’m in Walmart.  Whoo Hoo!

Christine:  That’s awesome.  

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  So before you go -- it’s so funny, I could talk to you for four hours, I can already tell.  

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  So I have four fun questions that I ask every guest of mine.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Number one, very important, waffles or pancakes?

Dr. Jill:  And I’ve just got to tell you, I swing both ways.  Kind of the --

Christine:  Excellent answer.

Dr. Jill:  -- I gave a lot of thought to this.  So, if it’s a Mickey waffle maker, Mickey waffles, every time.  If there’s link sausage, then pancakes, ‘cause I want to make it pigs-in-a-blanket.  So those are my determining factors.  Anything with fruit and whipped cream, either one is equal.

Christine:  Syrup or no syrup?

Dr. Jill:  Whipped cream over syrup.  Less calories, tastes better, feels like a treat.

Christine:  It does.  That’s awesome.  What is one item you can’t live without and why?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so my knee jerk reaction to that question is, of course, my phone, because that’s how I talk to my family and how I communicate, but you know what?  I can also do that through my iPad or my laptop, so if it was one thing within that, it would be iMessage.  But I decided to scrap all of that, and the one non-computer thing that I can’t live without is my blender, because I make smoothies every day, and that’s the easiest way for me to keep healthy.

Christine:  Now, I want to ask you twelve more questions.  Is it like protein powder smoothie, or fruits, or --

Dr. Jill:  No, nope.  

Christine:  -- what do you put in your --

Dr. Jill:  Frozen strawberries, two handfuls, I put a lot in there.  Frozen strawberries, banana, that does not have to be frozen, and then Greek yogurt, vanilla yogurt.  That’s it.

Christine:  Oh, it sounds perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Then to clean it, here’s the really important part.  I learned this a long time ago.  

Christine:  Yeah?

Dr. Jill:  You dump it out, you pour water back in the blender, put one drop of your detergent in there, put it back on there, turn it on, it cleans it, rinse it out, you’re done.

Christine:  Oh, yes.

Dr. Jill:  It’s life changing for me. 

Christine:  Pro tip from Dr. Jill today.

Dr. Jill:  There you go.  Clean your blenders, that’s ‘cause that’s the one thing people hate about making smoothies.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  So I learned that.  So there you go.

Christine:  That’s excellent.  Oh, wow.  All-time favorite movie and any particular reason?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so tough one.  If I could only pick one, then I would have to say “Shrek” and that’s because “Shrek” was the first movie we really enjoyed as a family, when the girls were little and driving back and forth, we do these long road trips that take 17 hours, and so we watched “Shrek” a lot, and I love the adult humor.  I loved the animation, didn’t know our youngest was going to become an animator, but it kind of ties it all together for our family.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.  So, you have an hour of alone time, no one’s going to bother you.  What’s your go-to thing to do?

Dr. Jill:  Take the dog for a walk or jump on my Peloton. 

Christine:  Really?

Dr. Jill:  Yup.

Christine:  Wow.

Dr. Jill:  Exercise for sure.

Christine:  What kind of dog?

Dr. Jill:  We have a Portuguese Water dog.

Christine:  I can’t even picture that.

Dr. Jill:  It’s what Obama had.

Christine:  Oh, okay.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  She’s black and white.  

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  They’re hypoallergenic, and they’re friendly.

Christine:  Excellent.  Excellent.  All right.  So, Dr. Jill, I am beyond thrilled that you took the time to chat with me today.  I’m even more thankful as a parent, that I have your book, and that soon my daughter’s going to have her own copy of your book.  So, my amazing listener, you know I don’t recommend things often in this manner, like I really don’t.  So, this one is a total no-brainer.  Look for Dr. Jill’s book in your local bookstore, if you’re able, or use the non-affiliate link in my show notes.  Is there anything else you would like to share with my amazing listener, Dr. Jill?

Dr. Jill:  Just that, guys, we’re in this together and it’s going to be okay.  College does not look like what any of us want it to look like, right now.  But you know what?  They’re going to have a super unique experience, and they’re going to be telling their kids about that -- college in the pandemic and how we all wore masks, and we’ve learned we can really be flexible and do things differently, and they’re going to find more and more fun things to do outside.  They’re going to have more frisbee golf aficionados, and all kinds of different activities.  So it’s going to be okay.  I’m there with you.  I’m concerned, too, but it’s going to be okay.

Christine:  Wonderful.  Thank you for that reassurance.  I love it.  Thanks again, for being here, and for the incredible resources that you have gifted the world with, and a final thanks for sharing your knowledge with the college parents in my audience.  Thanks for being here today.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much.

[Music]

00:31:18

Christine:  I hope you enjoyed this interview, my listener. Dr. Jill’s website is JillGrimesMD.com. I’ll have a link to her website and her socials in the show notes!  When we finished recording, I spoke to Dr. Jill for a few minutes.  We came up with a quick list of items to have prepped in a COVID Emergency Bag.  It isn’t all inclusive but will get you started. She also mentioned that in her first aid kit she’s now recommending that a dorm room, or suite of college students, have access to a pulse oximeter. Her reasoning is that if your child has a cough and fever you would contact the college’s health center but if your child also has access to a pulse oximeter and their oxygen levels are low, then that is right to the hospital worthy.

00:32:07

One final thing we discussed is she recommends a mask that has a pocket for a coffee filter. She has a blog post with all the details on the why.  It totally makes sense and the link, of course, is in my show notes. 

[Music]

00:32:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are: have you picked up Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?  And the second question is, what question do you wish I had asked Jill?

[Music]

00:32:26

It is time for a quick tip, advice, or thoughts from a listener.

Jo:  I’m here to talk about Instagram, which I have a slight love/hate relationship with, as I’m sure many other people do, as well.  I basically think there is six stages that you go through.  You set up an Instagram account and follow anyone and everyone, in the hopes they’ll follow you back.  Stage two, you realize you can’t possibly go through the posts from 2,000 people, you seem to be following sites you have no interest in, like your neighbor’s cat, who seems to have their own feed.  I mean, what’s that all about anyway?  Any way, you unfollow three-quarters of the people you originally signed up to follow, in order to get your numbers more manageable.  Stage three, is the very next day, when you realize that those three-quarters of people have actually unfollowed you as well.  Stage four, you realize that this is actually good, that now, you only follow people you like and are interested in, and the people who follow you are engaged and seem to like what you do.  Five, you realize when Instagram goes down that perhaps you’re a little bit too tied to it, as you alternate between sulking, rage and full-on panic.  Six, you realize that some of your friends on Instagram are actually more awesome, insightful, and supportive than your real friends, and wonder, if in fact, you can stop following your non-Instagram friends, figuratively speaking, and just live on Instagram.  Okay, so that may be a little bit extreme, but my advice is this: your engagement is what matters.  Interaction with like-minded amazing women living their best life alongside yours, not the number of followers you have.  This isn’t news to many of you, but to those of you who are new to Instagram, or feeling slightly overwhelmed, keep it manageable.  You don’t have to post every day.  Post when you have something to say.  If it gets too much, take a break, come back again.  It’s meant to be fun, not a chore, and don’t go so far down the Instagram rabbit hole that you forget to be present with the people around you.  Anyway, I must go now.  I need to catch up with what Mauggie, my neighbor’s cat’s been up to.

00:34:32

Special Thanks to Jo Davies, for her humorous thoughts on Instagram.  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all, and it is the best way to be notified of a new podcast episode.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  I opened a box today and it told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

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