The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 132
FULL TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00
Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #132. If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes for example I often mention your protector - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.
In this episode, I talk about imposter syndrome, finding your funny, your stress, and of course, we are celebrating our wins and more!
I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today. Here we go.
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This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!
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00:01:18
My amazing friend, in my last episode I challenged you to do the crazy thing. Did you become more aware of moments when you shut things down too quickly with your thoughts? Noticing these moments, allows you to be one step closer to becoming the CEO of Your Life.
Before we get started let’s do some basic housekeeping - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And then, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946). Of course, you’ll find that in my show notes, too, if you are looking for it later.
All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com.
00:02:21
I’m thrilled to share with you that this podcast is sponsored by SupaPass. SupaPass enables creatives to have a slick Netflix-style platform with a modern & easy-to-use feel, making it easy to browse resources. SupaPass powers our Empty Nest Success online community which is coming soon! A special thanks to SupaPass for providing a space for our empty nest flock to fly to!
To stay in the know now, or for transcriptions of the episodes and other goodies, visit my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com.
Drop the YOUR to find me on socials - it was just too long - there, you’ll find me @emptynestcoach - and I’m primarily on TikTok and Instagram - the others I pop in from time to time.
00:03:06
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My Wish for You Today 
My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you have a well trained protector - or are in the starting stages of training your protector so that you can pull yourself into fully being conscious in your life and take strides to becoming the CEO or Conscious Effective Olympian of your life. You deserve that, after all.
00:03:30
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New Things. New Things. New Things!
On a personal note, we are selling our home. As if I didn’t have enough going on in my life at the moment, sure why not throw a home sale into the mix? The good news is we are super excited about it - I’m not a home owner by nature - the upkeep of a home wears on my emotional state - so many thought-box deliveries for me to manage on the future upkeep of home ownership. And, honestly, can we even say ownership if we have a mortgage for it? ANYWAY, we’ll be moving into a rental and I’m not sure what that means for my recording space but thankfully, hubby and I like to get creative with things like that. Let me know if you want me to keep you updated on our process. This is a downsize for us but we’ve done this before. I love decluttering. I love living simply. And, I also love to share, so if you’re interested, definitely let me know.
In other news, my daughter was accepted to a second grad school and life as it is - she still has no idea if the planets are going to align to make one of them work for her. Wow! Waiting on hearing about the next stage of your life can be frustrating, emotional, trying, heart wrenching and all of that rolled into one - not unlike our adjustment to the empty nest!
I’ve been slowly - ever so slowly - working on the Empty Nest Success app - how do you like that name? This is going to start with a website portion. If you want to be one of my beta testers for seeing how it works, let me know. I’d love to have a few flock members fly around inside and provide feedback on how to improve it.
And of course, there’s private coaching spots. I have a few remaining in April. And great news, in my next episode a client of mine will be popping in to share some of her experiences of working with me. If you are a regular listener, you already know that in the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my absolute favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you!
00:05:37
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Ask Coach Christine
A recent question I received is, “Imposter syndrome keeps coming up in my life. How do I deal with this, Christine?”
And my response?
I’ve noticed this too. It is as if the moment I conquer it in one area of my life, it pops up somewhere else. For most of us who are aware of it, it is an amazing thing. Because the moment you are aware of it you give yourself the power to shut it down, or at least minimize its hold on you. It is a hold by the way.
The irony of imposter syndrome is that it keeps you from being who you are meant to be - by stopping you - it then makes you the true imposter. I have an early episode of mine where I talk about how I worked through this with coaching - it’s episode #8 and it is an early one, so be kind.
Next time you catch thought-deliveries that make you question your abilities or right to be somewhere - and you know those thoughts aren’t valid, take the time to thank your protector for the warnings but remind them that you are ready for the next-level.
In protector and thought-delivery speak, what if you think of this as also you’re getting closer to illumination in your life - who you are meant to be in that moment, and this means for your protector that they’re on their final training session for that area of your life and while they totally “get” that you are in charge of them now and know that what you are doing makes sense, part of them still wants to do that last fight back to you. After all, they’ve been doing this job for years - they’re used to it - they want to protect you - and this is their last ditch for them to say, “Let me do one more test. See how she’s really doing. I’m gonna to send in a bunch of thought-deliveries in on super speed to see what happens.”
Think of it almost as a question, “Are we really ready to level-up together?”
And next time you notice those thought-deliveries like, “What makes you think you can do this?”; “No one’s gonna listen to you”; “Well, you aren’t THAT good.” ; “No, you’re not ready for this.” and thoughts like that... rather than being annoyed at the imposter syndrome popping up. Note it. Know you’re just about to reach that next level. See it and super charge your training session - for your protector - to sort through those thought-deliveries. Know going in that yes, it is going to take more energy but also remember that each time you do this it gets easier and easier. After all, all that leveling up you’ve been doing in your life until now is making things run a tiny bit smoother each time. And by smoother, I never mean perfect, I mean you’re able to manage your thoughts around the happenings in your life in a way that serves you and allows you to move forward.
If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I do consider all submissions.
00:08:45
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My Lessons Learned
What have I learned recently?
Becoming the CEO of your life, the Conscious Effective Olympian, allows you to get so much done. Drama is low and productivity has the opportunity to increase tremendously. Currently, I’m juggling the day job - and honestly it’s one of the busiest times of year there, a podcast, my coaching business, new sponsors, putting our home on the market, a variety of medical follow-ups for me and the family members, a child attempting to navigate grad school admission and decisions while having no experience myself, oh, there’s the pandemic, too, and I’m sure one hundred other things I’m forgetting. Sound familiar? Life is like this.
Of course there are moments where I do want to complain, and sometimes I do - I’ll be honest, sometimes a lot - I’m human, but in the last couple of years, becoming conscious of the complaining that I do, always happens for me. Each time, it’s a little quicker. When the consciousness does appear to me, I remember that Eckhart Tolle tells us: that complaining is always an unacceptance of what is. And when you don’t accept “what is,” you can’t move forward - that is the gist of what he says - I didn’t look up the quote, so don't quote me exactly. That moment of consciousness is crazy powerful because it’s only then that we can stop fighting what is and begin to move forward. Sure, there are emotions around all of this and we work through them rather than bottling them up. Bottle up those emotions and they are bound to overflow at the strangest of times.
00:010:22
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Christine? Christine? Christine where are you?
Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead, and with my move happening, this is perfect timing!
If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there.
In my last episode I said, “life has a way of changing focus..” and, of course, since that recording we decided to sell our home. So, to be honest, much of my time will be spent there so if I disappear a bit from the socials, know I’ll be back whenever I can!
As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances.
00:11:12
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Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound]
My win? We staged our house in a weekend. This is the advantage to spending years decluttering and not having much “stuff” in your house.
As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:
Layla shared, “I met my target score on the ACT test! Now I feel much better about getting into my dream college.”
Sam shared,” I got ahead on my Spanish homework. A small but relieving win this week.”
MonsterTabs shared “was very productive today and was able to get up and do everything I needed to do!”
TalkShitwithP shared, “My best friend got in a big accident this weekend and had to go through surgery and will need physical therapy to walk properly again but after I saw the car… am shocked at how alive she is and that’s my win this week… she’s alive, she survived the accident and the surgery and yes it is going to be a lot of work but she’s alive.”
Oh, that’s a good one, Paula.
and finally Elaine shared “went back to therapy!”
That is always a good win.
Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? I now encourage you to tell two people about your win - and yes, you can tell them I told you to do it. Sometimes it is lovely to say your wins out loud to other humans.
As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - and you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my Wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram: just add a microphone emoji.
00:13:14
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What’s in your life’s toolbox?
As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me. I’d love for you to share what works for you in your life’s toolbox for others to consider.
Sometimes we don’t have no idea what to do, and I’m giving you permission now to try things. Sometimes you don’t know until you try them. If you don’t love it, it’s okay - you tried it - try something else.
This week walking was my go to tool in my toolbox. With planning for our move, hubby and I found ourselves sitting in a hotel room longer than anyone would like. We were waiting for showings to happen, and one good walk outside was what I needed to rejuvenate me - and also relax me enough to be okay with doing nothing for a few hours. That is no easy feat for me. Ha!
00:14:25
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Let’s find the funny!
[giggles from others]
I’m going to challenge you here this week. I usually have something that makes me laugh out loud - that I found typically on the internet, or on Netflix - like a meme or comedy special. But this week, I’m going to challenge you to be present enough in your life to notice something that might normally upset you but then when you step outside of it, it’s pretty funny.
As parents, we experience this all the time. Sometimes a story where we vent about our day - you can almost hear as you’re telling it how it could be turned into a sitcom, or a bit in a sitcom. Why not try that as a new way to process through your experience? A good laugh is a great way to reset yourself and by viewing your happening this way, there is a level of acceptance that has to happen.
Thoughts?
Hmm… maybe you can title your show and share with us?
00:15:20
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What I Wish My Parents Knew
I do not think this is news to you but your children notice your stress. You may think you’re hiding it but just like you notice when your partner or children are stressed, or your colleague at work is stressed and, you know - you know to steer clear of them today, your children notice that about you, too.
Remember when you were a child and your parents weren’t in a good mood? Mmm hmm.
Now, am I blaming you for stressing them out. No, I would never do that. We are all human, it happens and we move on from it when it does, but remember that the more you can live in the present, sort your thought-deliveries and realize that the happenings in your life are outside of your fence, you’ll minimize the emotional impact on you which minimizes the impact on others. If you understand these concepts, if you are the CEO (the Conscious Effective Olympian) of your life, then you have the power to change how you are impacted by happenings, which indirectly impacts everything around you.
Now, I have episodes about this but others who are well run by their protector will notice when you aren’t managing your thought-deliveries well and their protector simply views it as an attack. Remember it isn’t them. They’re not even conscious enough to know about their protector, but when you level-up enough to see this in your own life, you can begin to clearly see it in others. And that being said, clarification: this is never something I advocate you use to be cruel to another human or do whatever you want. If you’re truly leveled-up, and understand these concepts it then allows you to have a greater deal of empathy for yourself and for others. It also allows you to have more control over your own life which in the end is truly the only thing you have control over anyway.
Understanding and empathy is key when others are involved. Sure, you can make your thought-deliveries be whatever you want - “they deserve this” “they don’t know what they are talking about” but remember that is what you - YOU are choosing to think about someone else. If you choose cruelty, if you choose victim blaming, if you choose ignorance, and decide well, I can think whatever I want. Yes, yes you can, but who do you want to be when you think these things. It all comes back to us. Always. If the thoughts that you have make you unproductive - turn you into a human that you aren’t proud of - it puts you in a place that stops your momentum you are holding yourself back from being the amazing, caring, empathetic human that you are meant to be, or being a productive parent in a single moment. All you need to do is try a different thought-delivery.
And I know say that like it’s easy. I know it’s work. Believe me, I know it’s work.
Well in this section, I’ve covered a lot of topics that I’ve covered very slowly over 130+ episodes. This is where I’m super excited to have the membership community that’s coming soon and app available to you - you’ll have an opportunity to pop in and ask me questions somewhere on what you’re confused about. How cool is that?
00:18:26
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Two Questions for You
Question 1: Are you interested in beta testing my new community web and app setup?
and Question 2: How are you doing managing your thought-deliveries?
As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.
My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.
If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!
I plan to be back with episode 133 in two weeks and that will include my client interview. In the meantime, you have 131 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to.
And with that, don’t you dare forget, my friend, that you are AMAZING!
See ya!
0019:21
[bloopers]
00:19:31
Still listening?
In the last episode I said I stopped drinking coffee. This week I tried adding a couple of cups of decaf in. I haven’t quite landed on if it will stay or not. My other beverage of choice is chamomile tea and Wegman’s has a mint flavored chamomile that is absolutely lovely.
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[end]
Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast (imposter syndrome and more): 
for Rachel Lankester, Deirdre Dolan Nesline & Me on Clubhouse!
Mercury Retrogade has been kicking my arse, but I’m on the upswing, so that’s a win, too!!”