104: Campfire Lessons – Did You Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

104: Campfire Lessons: Did you Fail, or Did You Stop Trying?

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

A few weeks ago, I booked a local campsite for 24 hours to reset myself. Wow, I needed that! In this episode, I share my campfire thoughts with you. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Giving up at any one step doesn't mean you are a failure; it just means you stopped doing it."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 Coach Christine shares her campfire thoughts with you in this episode: failure and adjustments are today's topic 💚 #Campfire #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #CampfireLesson #NewEpisode #StopTrying #MovingForward

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A Couple of Useful Thoughts To Have When You are Working Toward a Goal

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?
  2. Have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 104 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 104: Campfire Lessons:  Did You Fail or Did You Stop Trying?  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  If this is your first time here, thanks for checking out my podcast.  If you are a regular listener, I can’t thank you enough.  Today’s episode is primarily my thoughts as I sat by the campfire recently.  You know I love analogies and I’m fairly certain I’ve shared this one in a variety of ways with you but always, I make a small spin that’s different.  Thanks for listening to my casual fireside chat, quite literally, I hope you enjoy it!

00:01:23

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 104 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P104).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:12

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:55

An extra thank you today, to Dale@CrushCollegeStress who took the time to provide my podcast with a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts!  Thank you, Dale!  She titled her review “Coffee With a Friend” and well, I am going to encourage you to head over to Apple Podcasts and read it yourself.  Maybe leave your own review while you are there.  Yeah, I’m going to make you work today.

00:03:23

I would like to let you all know that I understand the upcoming fall season may not look the way you were expecting it to look. I’m going to add a chat area in the GPS Support Flock membership specific to the Not So Empty Nest, so if you are struggling with your children not leaving the house, that space will be for you. 

All right, let’s get to our campfire chat.

00:03:47

Hi, so I am at a campsite, and I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.  I shared it a little bit on Instagram.  Excuse my stuffed up nose, my allergies are off the charts, but I love being in nature so much, it is worth it to me.  I am at a campsite.  It’s local.  I drive about 28 minutes to get to this place, and last night, my daughter and I came out, did a campfire, we went back home.  That was enough for her.  She does not like the exit of the tent at night or the restrooms, when you come out and it’s suddenly, like really dark.  She is not a fan of sleeping over.  I normally do, but I thought let me try this, with COVID, and everything, any extra time I spend in the public restrooms is probably not good.  I went home last night, slept, came back this morning, by myself.  I’ve been reading, doing a couple posts on Instagram, prepping for an interview that’s coming up in a few weeks, which you would have already heard, with Dr. Jill Grimes, or I guess I say it Jill Grimes, MD, is the proper way to say it.

00:05:04

So many thoughts are with me about building a fire.  When I build a fire, first of all, it took me multiple times to get to a point where I can open my toolbox and easily grab the magnesium and steel, and feel confident enough that within a minute max, I will have a flame on a cotton ball.  So that’s how I start my fire.  But it took me time to get to that point, right?  So that’s like step one.  It’s like leveling up.  If you look at my analogies back with leveling up, and simmering, this whole thing’s a big simmer.  That was level up one.  Then, there’s the wood.  I’ve talked about this, I think in my retreat video, where in other places, fires just used to always be taken care of by the men who were camping, and it’s just something I wanted to be able to do.  Figuring out where the wood is, to purchase.  I’m in Pennsylvania, you can’t bring wood from an outside area in, because of bugs and lantern flies.  The last time I stayed here it took me 10 or 15 minutes to drive outside of the park to find somebody selling the wood.  I knew that ahead of time, now.  I picked that up on the way in, so that was easy. Okay, there’s another level up, and that’s kind of a side later level up, when you think about it chronologically.

00:06:38

Then there’s the wood.  Now watching the men in the family build fires, there were two types of wood they always used.  Now, I know that they were using, tinder and logs, and that’s really it.  Sometimes maybe newspapers would be put in there.  Sometimes we’d use firelogs to start the fire, or those little FireStarter packets that would start the fire, and it would go long enough so that a log would catch.  So, it took me a while to actually go, okay, I’m not doing this right.  How am I going to do this?  So, you know, Youtube to the rescue, and discover that tinder, kindling and the log are all needed, and the tinder is what I had prior called kindling, just to confuse you.  Discovering this is awesome.  There’s this middle piece of wood that I have needed.

00:07:43

So then, I went and bought an axe.  This is two or three levels up in camping trips.  I bought my own axe, you know that story if you listen to me.  I love my axe.  It’s green, of course.  And learned that after I purchase the wood, I can split it some more and create some kindling, and then, from that, you can create tinder, or I just pick up sticks from the ground.  All right, so those are the components.  That’s like a whole other level up.  But then, it’s like putting it all together.  I have all the pieces.  I think I’ve camped five or six times solo, that I’ve tried this or with family where I’ve started to learn how to build my own fire.  For the first time, this weekend, I was able to very quickly know what to do, remember all the steps.  I did call tinder and kindling the reverse.  I was teaching my daughter, no, this is tinder and this is kindling.  I was wrong, and I needed to learn another thing because I was having trouble with my axe trying to get pieces of kindling out of the logs for this trip, but I figured it out.  I went home, looked it up and I can consistently, now build a fire.  So there’s the one lesson, is in anything that you do, you have all these steps involved.  And giving up at any one step, doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means you stopped doing it.  Right?  I could have stopped at any point and said I can’t make a fire.  It doesn’t mean I can’t make a fire, it just means I stopped trying.  So, there’s lesson one.  Lesson two is once you get to a point where the fire is going, multiple times it will look like it is going out, and if you don’t maintain the fire, and at first, it needs a lot of work.  Just like if you’re losing weight, if you’re building a business, if you’re discovering who you are.  If you want a new career, if you want to learn a new hobby.  The very beginning, there’s a lot of work involved with it.  Learning all the pieces, and it’s the same thing.  Hello, airplane.  Do you hear the airplane?  I will wait ‘til the airplane passes.

00:10:01

Okay, I think the plane’s gone enough.  So, as you build the fire, and you get started, it takes a lot of work in the beginning to get the flames going enough to get the tinder caught, then get the kindling caught to catch onto the log.  Follow me?  Now we have a fire.  Let’s say we got to the point where the fire’s burning.  If you leave it and walk away, it will eventually go out.  It doesn’t mean that there aren’t things of value at the bottom of that fire.  There are those coals.  If you walk up to the fire that looks like it’s out, sometimes all you need to do is blow, give it a little air and it will reignite completely.  That’s just like anything we learn.  Sometimes when we go back to it, we think like it’s gone, we’re not going to do it anymore.  But we go back and it’s so much easier to start because those coals are going there for us.  Sometimes, we let it go so long, we don’t maintain it, we don’t keep up on things, that it’s not just blowing a little air on it.  We also need to move the logs around a little bit, so we need to just flip them.  Move them in different areas.  We don’t even necessarily need to add anything, just flip things around, mix it up and suddenly you have a full fire again.  

00:11:27

So I want to encourage you if you’re working on something whether it’s yourself, it’s a project with others, just know no fire just goes right from magnesium and steel, flick, phoom, into a fire you can now cook over, and take care of yourself, and heat yourself.  No, there’s work.  There’s stages and they are all worth it.  They’re all worth it.  The best part is the skills that you learn in building the fire are now things that you can come back to and utilize again.  You can start a brand new fire in a different area in your life, and you have the skills, the resources and you have the faith in yourself that you can come back and complete it.  Enjoy, there’s your campfire lesson for today.  I believe in you.  You can process through the moments that feel like you’re making no progress.  Sure you can walk away, and that is your decision.  Also know that you can walk away and come back later.  I believe in you, you are amazing.  Thanks for listening.  This is your campfire lesson for today.

[Music]

00:12:39 

I hope you enjoyed my fireside chat, friend.  The questions I have for you in this episode are: do you jump to the thought, “I have failed,” or a similar thought, often?  And two, have you thought about moving some things around to ignite the flames in an area of your life?

[Music]

00:13:01

It is time for a quick tip, advice or thoughts from a listener.  

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lancaster here, MidLife Mentor from MagnificentMidLife.com.  Today, I’d like you to remember that even if you feel like you’re stuck in the messy middle of life, you are actually coming into your prime.  And midlife is absolutely the time for you to shine.

00:13:26

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast.  It’s free. Go ahead. You can do it right now. If you already have and you can take a screenshot of this episode and share it on the socials, that would be incredible.  My handle is @EmptyNestCoach.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  Well, it is time for me to wrap this up, and you know what that means, it is time for me to remind you that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening] - Join the flock for July 2020's social media workshop!

[End]

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 Featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, Author and a Family Physician Focused on College Student Health

103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 2 of 2 featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, MD

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

If your child is scheduled to head back to campus in four to six weeks, you may have questions about how to best prepare for campus during COVID.

In this episode, I have great fun chatting with Dr. Jill about this topic. We talk about forms, checklists, favorite chapters of her new book, and so much more!

Her book, The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook, Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness, is the perfect reference book for both you and your child. I give it my five happy chick rating, and I invite you to  listen to the full episode. 

We created the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist! Click here or the image below to print your copy now. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Podcast episode!🎙 Is your college student heading back to campus in a few weeks? @JillGrimesMD and @emptynestcoach have some tips for you! 💚 #CollegeParent #EmptyNest #CollegeLife #CollegeStudent #FallSemester #BackToCampus

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Learn how Dr. Jill became an author and an on-campus health provider
  • What forms Dr. Jill plans to complete ahead of time for her college-aged daughters
  • Student health care center tips and advice
  • The moment we came up with the COVID Emergency Bag Checklist
  • And more!

Where to Find Dr. Jill Grimes Online

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you picked up Dr. Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?   
  2. What question do you wish I had asked Dr. Jill?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

Episode Resources

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 103 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 103: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for a Different Campus. This is Part 2 of 2, featuring Dr. Jill Grimes, author, and a family physician focused on college student health. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:00

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! In this episode, I welcome Dr. Jill Grimes to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am crazy excited to have her here. I have read her book: “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness.” It is fabulous. I’m going to keep the copy I have for myself and pick up another one for my daughter. Yes, it’s that good. Speaking of my daughter, I asked her to take a look at my copy of Dr. Jill’s book. My daughter’s comment was, “This book will be great to have in my dorm room, especially as a peer RA, as residents may have concerns that I don’t know anything about.”

00:01:46 

Well done, Dr. Jill, on creating one of the few resources that when I shared with my daughter, I didn’t get the “Okay, Mom” eye roll. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.  No, my friend, I’m not immune to it either.

 

00:02:01

Dr. Jill Grimes is a nationally recognized medical media expert, award-winning author, medical editor, and Board-Certified Family Physician.  Her passion is prevention.  After two decades of private practice, Dr. Grimes now enjoys seeing patients part-time at the University of Texas in Austin.  What you, my listener will be interested in is that she is also a proud mom to two awesome collegiate daughters.

00:02:29

I don’t think I could find a more perfect guest for this podcast at this particular time.  My daughter’s scheduled to head back to college in four weeks, so this is timely for me, as well.  Dr. Jill’s book is a wonderful reference book containing topics such as sunscreen, tattoos, hangovers, the “missing” tampon, nose bleeds, and so much more.  You know that first aid kit I mentioned in the last episode?  Dr. Jill’s book has a Bonus Section about your DIY First Aid Kit.  You have to check it out for yourself.  I give this book my highest rating, five happy chicks! 

 

00:03:09

At the end of this episode, I’m also going to give you a couple of follow up things that Dr. Jill and I talked about offline after the recording.  She has a blog, media interviews and more on her website, so I encourage you to dive into those to learn more about amazing Dr. Jill.  Also, if you find you wish I asked her other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them in as an audio message or email, and we’ll see if we can get them answered on an upcoming episode!  I’ll be asking her a handful or so of questions today.

 

00:03:40 

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 103 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P103). I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:04:30

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:05:16

Christine:  Welcome to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast, Dr. Jill Grimes.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much for having me.  I’m thrilled to be here.

Christine:  I’m thrilled to have you here today, and I love that your daughter is the illustrator of your book.  Now, was that something that you had planned all along, or did it just happen to work out?

Dr. Jill:  Oh, my goodness, I am just thrilled that it worked out.  No, it was not something I planned all along.  In fact, I just didn’t think a publisher would agree to that, because they have in-house artists.  What happened is, my daughter, I’ve been asking her to draw pictures and sketches for my medical presentations for years now, because that way I don’t have to worry about copyrights.  She’s done them; I’m not stealing anyone’s ideas, and besides that, I can make it look how I want to make it look.  She was doing that, and when I submitted my book proposal, I submitted her pictures along with it.  They said, well, is she available to be the illustrator, and I’m like, yes.  I’m thrilled.  It worked out great.

Christine:  I love that so much, and I identify with it, because I’ve also had my daughter make drawings for me, for the same reason.

Dr. Jill:  Yes, it’s super convenient.  I will say, in fairness to my daughter, she had actually already had a job at her university.  She attends Loyola Marymount University in LA, and she got a job as an illustrator for their press.  She had already had that work experience which certainly gave her a leg up in getting the job.

Christine:  That’s excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Proud mom brag.  I’m allowed.

Christine:  Yeah, go her.  That’s awesome.  Well, I’ve already taken the liberty of introducing you to my listener already, so if it’s okay with you, I’d like to jump right into my questions for you.  Are you good with that?  

Dr. Jill:  Outstanding. Absolutely.

Christine:  Awesome.  So what brought you to where you are today, working part-time, writing books, serving college patients?

Dr. Jill:  My path has been a little bit unusual.  So, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, from the time I was very little.  Neither of my parents were doctors.  My dad was a professor, and my mom was a mom, and a fabulous one.  They told me I could anything and be anything, and I wanted to be a doctor, and I did become one.  I started off with my own private practice, which I loved, but unfortunately, my mother developed Alzheimer’s and at the same time, our kids were very young, and it was just too much.  There’s only so many hours in the day, so I went to part-time, and then, a few years later, I’m like, no, it’s still too much running my own practice, even with another physician.  And so, I stopped my own practice, and went to work for someone else, where I could just walk in, be the doctor, walk out, and not have to hire and fire staff, and do all of that, and that was great.  Meanwhile, I ended up writing my first book, and I sort of naïvely thought as a doctor I could write a book, and the publisher would take it and go put in bookstores and it would sell, and I would keep being a doctor and that’s how it would go.  They said, no, that’s not how it works.  So, I ended up becoming a media person, and doing a lot of radio and some television, and speaking to larger groups and that was, you know, part of my career.  So, I stayed part-time, and I’m also that “Girl Scout Mom.”  So, I was the Girl Scout leader, and then in a national charity league, which was a mother/daughter service organization.  I loved being super involved.  Our daughters both danced.  I was the team photographer.  So as you can see, like many of us, I like doing a lot of different things, and I’m not the primary breadwinner.  My husband is.  He is also a physician.  In our family, it worked for me to stay part-time, and then, after getting into this book writing thing, and I’m realizing I had more books in me that I wanted to do.  I want to just be even more part-time, and as our kids went off to college, I’ve always been involved with their friends and their age group, so it was a really natural fit for me to work in a college setting.  And I live in Austin, and the University of Texas, I had worked there just you know helping out occasionally over the years for many years, and they needed me.  I wanted to be there, and so I’m very part-time there, but it’s wonderful ‘cause it works for both of us.

Christine:  That’s fantastic.

Dr. Jill:  Kind of a long answer, sorry.

Christine:  No, I love those answers.  More for us to get to know you.  

Dr. Jill:  There you go.

Christine:  It’s also, as you’re talking, I’m like, she’s so perfect for us to listen to right now.   And a total slacker in the mom department, that’s sarcasm.  So, I know you have at least one daughter heading back to campus in the fall?

Dr. Jill:  Two.  I have two.  One’s in grad school, and she’s in Saint Louis at Wash U, and then the younger one is a Loyola Marymount.

Christine:  Awesome.  So, with them going back to college, or I guess, the grad school, she’s there already, probably?  Right?  Is she there yet?

Dr. Jill:  Actually, no.  She’s remote also, unfortunately.

00:10:14

Christine:  Okay, so, this question works.  Okay.  Awesome.  So, as a doctor, wear your doctor hat more, and parent hat a little bit, what’s your biggest concern with your children heading back to campus, in our current pandemic?  And is there anything you’re doing in preparation for that?

Dr. Jill:  Well, it’s a little hard to sort out, because obviously I wear the different hats.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  But honestly, one of my concerns is just that COVID is going to be tying up the healthcare system so much, that I want to be sure that our girls are even more prepared than usual, to take care of all their non-COVID health issues.  Of course, I’m a text away for them, and that’s great, but particularly the younger one, out in LA, does not have a car and so I want to make extra sure that her college first aid kit is super well stocked, because if, you know, she’s got a cough, well, then I’m going to be worried about COVID.

Christine:  Right.  I know.

Dr. Jill:  But still, but if she has a cough from just having allergies --

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  -- I want to make sure that she’s got more on hand and understands when she’s supposed to use what.  We have spent a little bit of time already this summer, talking about some of those different things, and you know, when is it appropriate to access the healthcare system and all of that.  Obviously, with COVID, everything is different and honestly, my biggest challenge has been finding them a new thermometer, because, you know, you can’t find thermometers.  They’re sold out.

Christine:  I somehow got some on Amazon.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.

Christine:  I must have gotten really lucky.  

Dr. Jill:  Yes.

Christine:  I can’t find disinfecting wipes.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  It’s a challenge.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  I’ve always been a proponent of the digital oral thermometers, and that’s what I was looking for.  Now, they have all the no-touch infrared ones, and I am assuming that they are relatively accurate.  The things that have the roller on them, that it rolls across the forehead, those are not accurate.  

Christine:  Oh, good to know.

Dr. Jill:  The ear ones are mostly accurate.  I haven’t seen any great studies on the accuracy of the other ones, which is of course, what everyone is relying on, as we move forward with COVID.

Christine:  Yeah.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  There’s some different challenges this year, but I think the biggest one is going to be the ability to access the healthcare system when they need it, because the healthcare system is going to be tied up with COVID.

Christine:  That’s a really good point.  It’s interesting, because I was just reading, in my daughter’s school’s policy and procedure.  If you think you have COVID, because we started talking about this, you go to the health center, at her school, they’ll do contact tracing, and they’ll do a test for her.  And that’s her school, I know they’re all a little different.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  But what we were talking about is that then she’ll move, like say she tests positive, she moves to an off campus --

Dr. Jill:  To a quarantine.

Christine:  -- and I said, you know, I think we should think about this.  What if that happens?  You’re not going to have much notice.  It’s kind of like you’re pregnant, and you need that bag, or at least the list.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  Exactly.

Christine:  ‘Cause you’re not going be able to go back to your dorm room --

Dr. Jill:  No.

Christine:  -- during this time.

Dr. Jill:  Right.  So, the one thing that’s a little different is that if they’re going to go -- I want to say, for the listeners, in general, most of the health centers are not going to say to go there.  They’re going to say you need to call first, and that’s an actual phone call, not just a text and getting an appointment online.

Christine:  Good point.

Dr. Jill:  Because they want to talk with you through the triage nurses, and make sure that you’re coming in the right entrance, and you know, all the schools are going to handle this a bit differently.  But almost all of them that I’m aware of, start with a phone call, which is not something our college kids are necessarily used to doing.

Christine:  No, not at all.  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  Second thing is, when you go, whether you’re going to a hospital or whether you’re going to a clinic, be sure you take your electronic chargers with you.  Because once you go into isolation, that’s going to be your connection, and you’re going to need your charger.  That’s something that ordinarily, kids don’t always pack those in their backpack automatically.  They’ll have their phone; they always have their phone, but you need the charger, too, and not just the portable.

Christine:  Yeah.  We need a list.  Let’s do a list.

Dr. Jill:  It’s a good idea.  We should do a list.  I agree.

Christine:  We’re going to do a list, listener.  We’re going to have that available, because I think you’re going to have your own special list, but I think having a starting point would be really good.  We’ll talk offline, if that’s okay, Dr. Jill.

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  

Christine:  Excellent.

Dr. Jill:  Excellent.  Absolutely.

Christine:  Okay.  Here’s my next question, those of us who already have our children in college, should have already thought of this, but sometimes we don’t.  Are there any medical forms or processes, that we as college parents, should have already filled out, that maybe we didn’t think about.  I know there’s some things with age, like sometimes they don’t even have to tell us as parents, things that happen.  Are there any pitfalls that you see in college patients with the process?

Dr. Jill:  Sure.  So let me start by saying, again, I have a graduate student, and a rising senior in college.  I have never filled out forms in advance, so this is new for all of us, and with COVID, I actually think it is a good idea to go ahead and fill out, there are a couple of forms, each school will probably have their own HIPAA release.  HIPAA is the privacy act forms.

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  And so there’s a release of information and you can check on your child’s -- not child, your young adult.

Christine:  I say child.  Aren’t they always our children?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah, they’re still our babies.  They’re babies.  Anyway, you can check on their university’s website, and see if they have a specific form, or you can go to -- I know there’s several online paraform organizations, like one is called Mama Bear forms, and I’m not speaking for them; I have not used them myself, but I know I’m aware of many people who have.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  I understand it’s about $50 to get two forms, and one is the release and the other is the medical power of attorney, and that would be important if your child, who is 21, or whatever, anything over 18, if they were unconscious in a hospital, unable to make decisions on their own.  This would really smooth things out paperwork wise, if you had this already filled out and notarized ahead of time.

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  And so, this year, I probably will go ahead and do those forms for both of our daughters. 

Christine:  That’s really good information.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  The other thing I really want to say is that as a provider at a university, honestly, it’s really not to me, it’s our nursing staff, and our phone triage people, get inundated with angry parents saying, I want to know is my kid there, being seen.  I need all the parents to know, we can’t even say that they’re there, or they’re not there, not without your child’s permission. 

Christine:  Yes.

Dr. Jill:  So our hands are tied, so please don’t be upset with the health staff, they’re not trying to be difficult.  Honestly, we’re trying to do the best we can for your kid.  For something like, something we see all the time, like say your kid is really sick there, so they’ve got food poisoning, or they’ve got mono, and they’re just really down and out, and we need to kind of have them there for a bit, maybe to give them some IV fluids.  The parents know that they were on their way there, and it’s just like, text your kid.  They can text back.  We don’t take away their phones.  They can answer and most providers are going to be willing to talk to a parent, but we can’t call the parent, if the student is talking to the parent, and the student, right there in front of you says, “Would you talk to my parent,” and hands us the phone, then we can say something.  Every school’s got their nuances of that, but just know that the healthcare providers are really -- we care about the kids a ton.  I don’t know anyone that works where I work that doesn’t just honestly love college students.  We’re all there, there’s not a lot of money in college health.  We’re there because we love the environment; we love the enthusiasm; we love young people, and we want to help them.  Please know that your kids are in good hands.

Christine:  Yes.  That makes me feel good as a parent.

Dr. Jill:  We give a lot of hugs.

Christine:  Well now, social distanced, right?

Dr. Jill:  Yeah.  Yeah.  I guess, now we don’t.  No, we’re not hugging.  Virtual hugs.

Christine:  Yeah, exactly.  I have a new favorite GIF and it’s the little raccoon that does this.

Dr. Jill:  Yes.  Exactly.

Christine:  I’ll have to put it in my show notes.  It’s very important.

Dr. Jill:  Absolutely.

Christine:  So, Dr. Jill has a book that she’s written, and there is a theme -- I’m going to talk about it a little more in a bit, but there’s a familiar theme in your book, I noticed, about washing your hands --

Dr. Jill:  Pre-COVID.

Christine:  Yes.  This is pre-COVID.  Washing your hands to avoid illnesses, and while it isn’t COVID-specific, I see the knowledge dropped already within your book, on how to minimize your chances of picking up the common cold and such, which is great.  Why does it take us humans a pandemic to notice these things, not that I expect you to have an answer.  But that isn’t my question.  My question is related to your book.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Do you have a favorite chapter of your book, and if so, why is it your favorite chapter?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so every author out there knows that that’s like asking like, do I have a favorite child, so hard to pick.  But I will say a little bit in deference to our younger child, who’s the illustrator, probably if I had to only pick one topic in this, it would be the insomnia chapter, because I was talking with her about doing illustrations and figuring out which chapters we could use pictures for, and I’m like, oh, this is great, we can have all the solutions to insomnia in this picture.  That’s my favorite chapter.  One, because there’s a ton of things that kids can do that they don’t realize, kids and adults, in and out of school, ways that you can - - insomnia, before you ever get to the point of being so frustrated that you haven’t slept in a week, and in college student’s case, that they’re flunking a class, then coming in.  So this gives them a lot of things that they can do on their own, and tells them again, when it’s come in and let us help.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thanks.

Christine:  Now, I’ve got to go back and look at that chapter.  So this week, I actually received a listener question for you.  

Dr. Jill:  Great.

Christine:  Thanks to Deb, from Connecticut, for the following question.  I’m going to read it for you.  “Hi Christine, I think parents need to talk to their kids about what happens if they do get COVID when returning to college.  If they’re close enough, do they come home?  Is there a COVID dorm?” Well, we’ve already talked about that, that the college offers, and would they be expected to stay there.  Think about the options before they go and discuss.  Emotions will be running high --

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  -- if they do come down with it.  Interestingly enough, we covered a lot of it, but yeah.  Any additional thoughts on that?

Dr. Jill:  I think setting expectations upfront is really good and helpful, and yes, if I get that phone call that one of our girls has COVID, is my instinct going to be to jump on a plane, ‘cause my kids are a thousand miles away in different directions, you know, is that going to be my instinct?  Yes, that’s going to be my instinct.  Am I going to do it?  I hope not.  One thing we really need to remember is that although COVID is scary for a lot of reasons, still the vast majority of disease is mild, and hopefully, if and when our kids get it, they will fall under that category of mild disease.  They’re going to be uncomfortable.  They’re going to be achy.  They might be miserable, but it may not be medically scary, and I don’t think we need to immediately go somewhere.  

Christine:  Got it.

Dr. Jill:  The great thing is that now we’ve got our smartphones, we can see them, we can Facetime.  We can talk with them.  I don’t think we need to be just running -- we’re not going to swoop them in and take them to a hotel.  I’m sure that when you check into a hotel, they’re going to say, “Do you have COVID?”

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  I don’t think ethically we can take someone with COVID to a hotel.  Could you do an AirBNB?  Yeah, I think that honestly, I think that’s a reasonable thing.  I think if my kid were in a situation where I felt I needed to be there, that’s probably what I would do, is I would try and rent a home, rather then -- because I don’t think ethically, you can take them to a hotel, with the shared ventilation systems and all of that.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  Just talking with them ahead of time, to say, hey, you know, if you get this, the first thing that’s going to happen is you’re going to be isolated, we want to make sure that you have your phone charger and your phone, and your iPad and your computer, and the chargers for those with you.  You’ll have to figure out how the campuses are going to be delivering food to them.  How are they going to check their symptoms and move forward? All of this changes, of course, if your child actually were to be immune-compromised.  We know if our kids have special risk factors that would change our immediate concern.  But if they are the average overall healthy kid, and asthma does not seem to be making COVID worse, oddly enough.  We have not really seen a big thing like that, so if they’re a standard, overall healthy kid, I don’t think we need to be swooping in immediately.

00:23:06

Christine:  That’s good advice.  I like your honesty, too.  I hopefully will not swoop in.  I appreciate that.

Dr. Jill:  You know?

Christine:  I know.  We’re moms.

Dr. Jill:  And it depends on the kids.  You’ve the introverted kid who’s doing just fine in social isolation, and you’ve got an extroverted kid, who is really missing that.  There’s so many factors that weigh into this, but there you go.

Christine:  There really is.  All right.  So, if you could have all of the college parents in the whole world in one huge room, obviously, social distanced.  This is a big hypothetical.  And you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?

Dr. Jill:  This is a tough one.  I’ve actually been thinking about this since you told me you were going to ask me this, because I’ve got 30,001 things I want to say.

Christine:  Right.

Dr. Jill:  But I think one thing for all of us to remember, and this is directed at me, too, is that:  one, young people are resilient, we’ve already seen that; two, this is sort of - - but not really, not every day of college is fantastic.  If I say think about college right now.  If someone tells me that, I’m going to think about Aggie football games and having so much fun, and the super awesome times that I had in college.  I am not going to think about the night that I sat in my dorm room sobbing hysterically when my first boyfriend broke up with me, or the day that I bombed the test and I thought, oh, my God, I’ll never get into medical school, or the, or the, or the, or the.  We all have those other things.

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  The problem is, is our kids grew up, and especially now, in this high pressure, what college are you going to, and all of that that we do to our kids.  We didn’t grow up saying oh, yeah, I had bad days in college.  They grew up hearing us or going with us to football games, and having these fabulous times.  One of the things that I think we forget to tell our kids, is that it’s not all great, and that’s okay.  Because the problem is --

Christine:  So true.

Dr. Jill:  -- they have this image of everything in college is going to be fantastic.  If they weren’t popular in high school, they’re going to go there and suddenly be popular, or if maybe they were super popular in high school, they get to college and they’re not that big fish in a little pond.  But there’s all kinds of disappointments that happen.  A lot of which happen in that first semester away from home, and it’s twice as hard because they think, oh, my God, these are the best years of my life.  That’s what I’ve been told, over and over.  So my one piece of advice is to say, yeah, college, I would say at that point in my life, that was the best time of my life, but it’s not all great, and each year gets better, and each year gets better after college, too.  We have to have more perspective.

Christine:  I love that.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  It’s such great advice.  It really is.  I say this often, is that I think one of the detriments is that we aren’t taught early on in life that life isn’t supposed to be perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Right.

Christine:  So everyday, things aren’t perfect, so we lose control, and if you just realize, okay, this is the not-perfect thing right now, I mean, it’s not always that easy to say that, but it helps.

Dr. Jill:  And COVID sure is making things not perfect. 

Christine:  Wow, we are really being tested this year.

Dr. Jill:  We’re mastering that one.  Got that one down.  Nailed it.

Christine:  We do.  So what’s the best way for my listener to pick up your amazing book?

Dr. Jill:  Well, because of COVID, I’m going to say the best thing you could do is to support your local bookstores, because I love small independent bookstores.  So, one, start there.  Order it in advance, and then they’ll either deliver to you by mail, or you can drive up and pick it up.  So I would say that number one.  Number two, of course, is on Amazon, and actually, it is also on Walmart and Target online.  If you’re on there shopping for your other dorm stuff, just add it to your cart.

Christine:  Go you, Dr. Jill.  You’re everywhere!  I love it.

Dr. Jill:  I’m in Walmart.  Whoo Hoo!

Christine:  That’s awesome.  

Dr. Jill:  Thank you.

Christine:  So before you go -- it’s so funny, I could talk to you for four hours, I can already tell.  

Dr. Jill:  For sure.

Christine:  So I have four fun questions that I ask every guest of mine.

Dr. Jill:  Okay.

Christine:  Number one, very important, waffles or pancakes?

Dr. Jill:  And I’ve just got to tell you, I swing both ways.  Kind of the --

Christine:  Excellent answer.

Dr. Jill:  -- I gave a lot of thought to this.  So, if it’s a Mickey waffle maker, Mickey waffles, every time.  If there’s link sausage, then pancakes, ‘cause I want to make it pigs-in-a-blanket.  So those are my determining factors.  Anything with fruit and whipped cream, either one is equal.

Christine:  Syrup or no syrup?

Dr. Jill:  Whipped cream over syrup.  Less calories, tastes better, feels like a treat.

Christine:  It does.  That’s awesome.  What is one item you can’t live without and why?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so my knee jerk reaction to that question is, of course, my phone, because that’s how I talk to my family and how I communicate, but you know what?  I can also do that through my iPad or my laptop, so if it was one thing within that, it would be iMessage.  But I decided to scrap all of that, and the one non-computer thing that I can’t live without is my blender, because I make smoothies every day, and that’s the easiest way for me to keep healthy.

Christine:  Now, I want to ask you twelve more questions.  Is it like protein powder smoothie, or fruits, or --

Dr. Jill:  No, nope.  

Christine:  -- what do you put in your --

Dr. Jill:  Frozen strawberries, two handfuls, I put a lot in there.  Frozen strawberries, banana, that does not have to be frozen, and then Greek yogurt, vanilla yogurt.  That’s it.

Christine:  Oh, it sounds perfect.

Dr. Jill:  Then to clean it, here’s the really important part.  I learned this a long time ago.  

Christine:  Yeah?

Dr. Jill:  You dump it out, you pour water back in the blender, put one drop of your detergent in there, put it back on there, turn it on, it cleans it, rinse it out, you’re done.

Christine:  Oh, yes.

Dr. Jill:  It’s life changing for me. 

Christine:  Pro tip from Dr. Jill today.

Dr. Jill:  There you go.  Clean your blenders, that’s ‘cause that’s the one thing people hate about making smoothies.

Christine:  It is.

Dr. Jill:  So I learned that.  So there you go.

Christine:  That’s excellent.  Oh, wow.  All-time favorite movie and any particular reason?

Dr. Jill:  Okay, so tough one.  If I could only pick one, then I would have to say “Shrek” and that’s because “Shrek” was the first movie we really enjoyed as a family, when the girls were little and driving back and forth, we do these long road trips that take 17 hours, and so we watched “Shrek” a lot, and I love the adult humor.  I loved the animation, didn’t know our youngest was going to become an animator, but it kind of ties it all together for our family.

Christine:  Excellent.  I love that.  So, you have an hour of alone time, no one’s going to bother you.  What’s your go-to thing to do?

Dr. Jill:  Take the dog for a walk or jump on my Peloton. 

Christine:  Really?

Dr. Jill:  Yup.

Christine:  Wow.

Dr. Jill:  Exercise for sure.

Christine:  What kind of dog?

Dr. Jill:  We have a Portuguese Water dog.

Christine:  I can’t even picture that.

Dr. Jill:  It’s what Obama had.

Christine:  Oh, okay.  Thank you.

Dr. Jill:  She’s black and white.  

Christine:  Yeah.

Dr. Jill:  They’re hypoallergenic, and they’re friendly.

Christine:  Excellent.  Excellent.  All right.  So, Dr. Jill, I am beyond thrilled that you took the time to chat with me today.  I’m even more thankful as a parent, that I have your book, and that soon my daughter’s going to have her own copy of your book.  So, my amazing listener, you know I don’t recommend things often in this manner, like I really don’t.  So, this one is a total no-brainer.  Look for Dr. Jill’s book in your local bookstore, if you’re able, or use the non-affiliate link in my show notes.  Is there anything else you would like to share with my amazing listener, Dr. Jill?

Dr. Jill:  Just that, guys, we’re in this together and it’s going to be okay.  College does not look like what any of us want it to look like, right now.  But you know what?  They’re going to have a super unique experience, and they’re going to be telling their kids about that -- college in the pandemic and how we all wore masks, and we’ve learned we can really be flexible and do things differently, and they’re going to find more and more fun things to do outside.  They’re going to have more frisbee golf aficionados, and all kinds of different activities.  So it’s going to be okay.  I’m there with you.  I’m concerned, too, but it’s going to be okay.

Christine:  Wonderful.  Thank you for that reassurance.  I love it.  Thanks again, for being here, and for the incredible resources that you have gifted the world with, and a final thanks for sharing your knowledge with the college parents in my audience.  Thanks for being here today.

Dr. Jill:  Thank you so much.

[Music]

00:31:18

Christine:  I hope you enjoyed this interview, my listener. Dr. Jill’s website is JillGrimesMD.com. I’ll have a link to her website and her socials in the show notes!  When we finished recording, I spoke to Dr. Jill for a few minutes.  We came up with a quick list of items to have prepped in a COVID Emergency Bag.  It isn’t all inclusive but will get you started. She also mentioned that in her first aid kit she’s now recommending that a dorm room, or suite of college students, have access to a pulse oximeter. Her reasoning is that if your child has a cough and fever you would contact the college’s health center but if your child also has access to a pulse oximeter and their oxygen levels are low, then that is right to the hospital worthy.

00:32:07

One final thing we discussed is she recommends a mask that has a pocket for a coffee filter. She has a blog post with all the details on the why.  It totally makes sense and the link, of course, is in my show notes. 

[Music]

00:32:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are: have you picked up Jill’s book yet, or are you on the way to order it?  And the second question is, what question do you wish I had asked Jill?

[Music]

00:32:26

It is time for a quick tip, advice, or thoughts from a listener.

Jo:  I’m here to talk about Instagram, which I have a slight love/hate relationship with, as I’m sure many other people do, as well.  I basically think there is six stages that you go through.  You set up an Instagram account and follow anyone and everyone, in the hopes they’ll follow you back.  Stage two, you realize you can’t possibly go through the posts from 2,000 people, you seem to be following sites you have no interest in, like your neighbor’s cat, who seems to have their own feed.  I mean, what’s that all about anyway?  Any way, you unfollow three-quarters of the people you originally signed up to follow, in order to get your numbers more manageable.  Stage three, is the very next day, when you realize that those three-quarters of people have actually unfollowed you as well.  Stage four, you realize that this is actually good, that now, you only follow people you like and are interested in, and the people who follow you are engaged and seem to like what you do.  Five, you realize when Instagram goes down that perhaps you’re a little bit too tied to it, as you alternate between sulking, rage and full-on panic.  Six, you realize that some of your friends on Instagram are actually more awesome, insightful, and supportive than your real friends, and wonder, if in fact, you can stop following your non-Instagram friends, figuratively speaking, and just live on Instagram.  Okay, so that may be a little bit extreme, but my advice is this: your engagement is what matters.  Interaction with like-minded amazing women living their best life alongside yours, not the number of followers you have.  This isn’t news to many of you, but to those of you who are new to Instagram, or feeling slightly overwhelmed, keep it manageable.  You don’t have to post every day.  Post when you have something to say.  If it gets too much, take a break, come back again.  It’s meant to be fun, not a chore, and don’t go so far down the Instagram rabbit hole that you forget to be present with the people around you.  Anyway, I must go now.  I need to catch up with what Mauggie, my neighbor’s cat’s been up to.

00:34:32

Special Thanks to Jo Davies, for her humorous thoughts on Instagram.  Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all, and it is the best way to be notified of a new podcast episode.  As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  I opened a box today and it told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still listening?]

[End]

102: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 1 of 2

102: How to Help Your College Student Prepare for A Different Campus Part 1 of 2

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Fall 2020: some of our children's schools have plans for an on-campus return, and the campus won't be the campus our child(ren) left or visited. Life is different, and campus life will be no exception.

While our daughter is scheduled to head back to college in less than six weeks, that may or may not come to fruition. 2020 has a sneaky way of showing us that plans are rarely concrete. In the meantime, the best thing our family can do is prep for a return to campus with the knowledge we have now. In this episode, I share some things we are doing to prepare for an on-campus semester. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If your child doesn't already have a thermometer and a first aid kit - it is time to round one up for the fall!"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 How Coach Christine's family is preparing for her daughter's fall return to campus - tips and advice! 💚 #CollegeParent #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #CollegeLife #CollegeStudent #FallSemester #OnCampus

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • The Ways That Coach Christine And Her Family Are Preparing for a Fall On-Campus Semester
  • To Consider Talking About the What-Ifs

Quick Tip Submissions

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. If your child is heading back to campus soon, what are your biggest concerns? 
  2. Do you have a medical question about your child being on campus in the fall? 

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 102 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 102: How To Help Your College Student Prepare for a Different Campus. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! As of this recording, my daughter is scheduled to head back to campus in less than six weeks. Now, while that is the plan now, this episode very well may be of no use to anyone if the trend continues on the trajectory that the epidemic is on now. Whew! If our daughter is home for the fall, there isn’t much we can do to prepare for now, but if she heads to campus as planned, there are things we can prepare for, so I do that but am continually checking the drama in my mind around the idea of her going back. Wow, there are so many things outside of our fence right now.

00:01:26

I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I thought I would share some things we are doing to prepare her for a campus-life that will look different from the campus she left in March. Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 102 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P102). I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:24

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:03:08

What am I doing to prepare for my daughter’s return to campus?  Here’s nine things: 

  1. Stocking Up. Where I live, hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes are just now entering the shelves in stores, and the disinfecting wipes, if one or two are on the shelf, I run. Well, I don’t run, but I want to run. I’ve been picking up my one allotted disinfecting wipes on the rare occasion that I see them, and have started a small collection of tubs and hand sanitizer for the fall. I say a small collection, this is not a surplus in my garage. I have a hunch that in six weeks, with everyone else returning to school, these items may be even harder to find than they are now.  We are not stockpiling, like I said. We are purchasing enough that she’ll be okay if she can’t get to a store during her time on campus, and if someone in the dorm is diagnosed with COVID-19, this would allow me to feel like she isn’t high and dry on supplies.  That’s number one, stocking up appropriately.

  1. Public Mask-Wearing Practice.  Now, some of you are going to think this is ridiculous because you’ve been out and about wearing masks, but some people have not left their house often, and if your child has not been out and about yet, it is time for them to get used to being outside of the house with a mask on.  It’s important. Getting used to this, along with social distancing is also important. Most, if not all colleges, are going to require masks on campus and in classrooms. It makes sense. Make or purchase your masks now and get used to wearing them, properly. Some individuals with sensory issues or other things may need some adjustment time to get used to it. I know that sounds odd for those who don’t have these concerns but I’m a firm believer in limiting the amount of anxiety our children have, so getting familiar with wearing them will be helpful. Hopefully they know themselves well enough that you can start a conversation with them and they’ll have their own ways to prepare for the fall. Listen to them, and encourage them to seek supplies and helpful resources now.

00:05:17

I don’t know about where your child goes, but my daughter’s college had already implemented that a mask was required for those who are sick in prior years, so she already has it in her head that it is a courtesy to others to wear a mask when she isn’t feeling well, but has to go to a class. This was pre-pandemic, so I’m guessing moving forward she would not go to class, and it would be a no-brainer. But I do know that even among my own friends, there are varying degrees of comfort in being in the outside world with masks.

  1. Mask Maintenance.  I feel like this is going to be the thing that everyone overlooks, so I’m trying to get into our daughter’s head ahead of time.  Yes, your child’s college may be giving two masks per student, or something like that.  But are they on track to know how to properly wash them, because they should be washed after every use - every use.  Yes, every use, and we know how great our children are at keeping up with their laundry. Yes, this is why I think this is going to be the overlooked and troublesome part. The CDC.gov site has all kinds of resources, but high-level cloth masks should be washed after every use and dried completely, high on the dryer or out in the sun, which is kind of tough to do in the dorm. When we remove our masks, we need to be sure that we use the ear loops or ties to remove it and fold the outside corners together. Be careful not to touch your eyes, nose and mouth when removing the mask and wash your hands immediately after removing the mask. Which brings me to ...

  1. Proper Hand Washing. My daughter’s college sent us videos that we had to check off and say that, yup, we watched these before we headed back to pick up her items a few weeks ago. Sure, we were on the honor system but it is funny, after we both watched them, we discussed how we were never really shown as children how to properly wash our hands. Sure, we were told to sing the Happy Birthday song twice, but what to do during that time?  That’s really helpful to know, and there are great videos out there for this. 

  1. Temperature Taking. If your child doesn’t already have a thermometer and a first aid kit, it is time to round one up for the fall. If the college they are attending doesn’t have them track their temperature, encourage them to track it for a few days at home, for them to become comfortable with their normal body temperature. It may surprise them. I have a link to one of my Pinterest boards that has some DIY first aid kits for college dorms in it, or just search on Pinterest to find it.  So many options.

00:08:06

 

  1. Social Life. Let’s talk about social life.  Our children need to understand that the social events that they are heading to college for may not be there at all. How are they going to do with that? How are they going to deal with it? Ask them to think about it now. Ask them how they will handle it. No matter the college policies, also, look, it’s college, there will be parties. Will your child go to them? Will they not? What level are they comfortable with, and so on. With the other tips that I’m sharing here, in mind, do some coaching on the topic. Truly, I mean coaching, have a discussion.  Listen and coach them through different things that could happen. In a Forbes article titled College Students Want to Party: How they Keep Their Social Life This Fall, the author, Stephen M. Gavazzi (I hope I’m saying that correctly) offers a new motto for our students to consider, “study smart, party smart.” It might be worth sharing.

00:09:09

  1. Best Ways to Keep in Touch? If you are going to be a bit more anxious than normal and your child is not the best at communicating with you, come up now with a protocol for communication that works for both of you. Maybe you discuss you send a particular emoji to them, that means, hey, I’m thinking of you, I’m getting a little worried, can you just give me a quick status.  Maybe you’ve already discussed which emojis they can send you back, that let’s you know, hey, yeah, thumbs up, I’m all good, Mom, busy. Have that conversation now. College normally, is a lot for students, this is before COVID-19. Sure, they might be more homesick than usual, and reach out more, or they may be dealing with a lot more and a conversation with their mother may not help at the moment.  Not something to take personally, but have this conversation now.

00:09:59

 

  1. Talk about the what-ifs at a high-level and when the timing is right talk about what-if. What if their fall looks totally different?  What if the fall semester goes online?  What if you get roomed in a hotel down the street?  What if there are no social activities? Are there any of these things that would make them stay home, even if their college is onsite? Does it impact any scholarships they may have, if they decide not to go to campus? Are there circumstances that would have them not attend at all, even online?  Would they consider a gap year? I’m going to put a link to an episode of “Collegehood Advice” where Katy Oliveira talks about a gap year during COVID-19 with a guest. There is also an article on “Grown and Flown” titled Surprising Ways College Will Look Different This Fall. It is really worth a read, as it is likely you won’t know all of the ways your child’s college will look different until there isn’t enough time to process it out.  Two examples listed in the article: some schools may assign specific showers, sinks or toilets to students, and scheduling may be needed for showering. Some colleges have rented hotels and will be housing students in those to allow more space. So, yeah, be ready for anything. And a quick shout-out to Dale Troy who shared the article from “Grown and Flown” in her “College Parent Support Community” on Facebook.

00:11:31

  1. Nitty gritty medical concerns.  This one I’m going to leave ‘til next week, since I’m not a doctor, and because I was lucky enough to be sent a copy of her new book, I’m going to have Dr. Jill Grimes with me next Friday.  We’re going to discuss specific medical needs and concerns related to COVID-19 on campus. I’m looking forward to chatting with her and to bringing our chat to you! So look for part two of this series, next week!

As always, if you have your own tips, your thoughts or concerns about your child heading back to college you may join our GPS Support Flock and share there, or the Green Popsicle Stick Facebook group.  We can’t wait to chat with you.

[Music]

00:12:15

The questions I have for you in this episode are: if your child is heading back to campus soon, what are your biggest concerns? Do you have a medical question about your child being on campus in the fall?

00:12:34

Christine? Christine? Christine? Where are you? Do you know about the Stay Home Sisters?  Rebecca Moses, artist, designer and author, has been painting pictures of women who are staying home due to physical distancing and she shares their stories.  Her illustration of me was included recently and I will have a link to her Instragram profile in my show notes.  She’s up to, I believe, 270 as of this recording.  That’s pretty amazing!  Thanks, Rebecca, for all that you do for us.

[Music]

00:13:15

It is time for a Quick Tip, advice or thoughts from a listener. Today’s Quick Tip is from Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveller.

Katherine:  In my last tip, I talked about traveling light by wearing your heavy and bulky gear on your flight, and I also briefly mentioned merino wool, or Smartwool. Now, in New Zealand, we have 27 million sheep. That’s six sheep for every New Zealander. I am a huge advocate for the New Zealand wool industry, but I am not sponsored by them. Today’s tip is all about merino wool and Smartwool. Merino comes from a sheep and it has amazing natural qualities. Merino moderates your temperature. It keeps you warm in cold weather, but also keeps you comfortable in hot weather. I’ve worn a long-sleeved merino on a boat in a New Zealand summer to protect against harmful UV rays of the sun, and I’ve not got overheated. Again, I’ve worn multiple merino layers in New York, in winter, and have been comfortable even when I’ve headed into the well-heated shops. That is once I’ve removed my puffer jacket, my coat, my hat, my gloves, my scarf, and every other layer. Merino doesn’t retain smells. I think on the packaging they say it repels odor. This whole odor repelling quality means that you can wear it for several days without it needing laundering. I’ve tested this, but there is a trick to it. You need to hang it up and air it, after wearing. This can be as simple as draping it over a chair.  If you decide to dump it in a pile of clothes, it will still be smelly the next morning, believe me. I’ve tested this. A company I buy merino clothing from, also said that when you have a shower, hang your merino gear in the bathroom.  The steam helps to freshen up the fabric. merino is light and compact. If you compare a cotton sweater or a fleece with a merino sweater, the merino one will be lighter and smaller. Merino is also quick drying. Generally my merino clothing dries overnight. I wash merino by hand or I use a delicates bag if it’s going in the washing machine.  I wear merino from top to toe, literally head scarf, neck, back, tops, pants, socks, and even underwear.  There you have it, my tip for today.  Merino wool or Smartwool is my absolute essential clothing fabric for travelling light.  Happy light travels!

00:15:46

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all, and subscribing is the best way to be notified right away when I have a new episode. As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Psst, my friend... you are amazing!  See ya!

 [End]

[Bloopers / Still Listening]

[End]

101: Free Empty Nest SuccessTraining – Why You Don’t Know What Is Next For Your Life

101: Free Empty Nest Success Training - Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

In this episode, I share the first portion of my free training: Why You Don't Know What is Next For Your Life, Psst... it isn't your fault. 

In the full training session, I share with you how I found success in the empty nest, you will learn a bit more about me, and I ask you to consider two types of women entering the empty nest.

Which empty nest mom resonates with you

Enjoy! 


Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If you notice, CEO of her Life Sally also has badges, but these are her superhero badges!"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

New podcast episode 🎙 A teaser of a new & free training for Empty Nest Success: Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life 💚 #ListeningTo #MidLifeMom #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNest #NotSoEmptyNest #FreeTraining #WomenEmpoweringWomen

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider That There are Two Types of Women Entering the Empty Nest
  • If You Have The Interest to Learn More About Becoming the Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) of Your Life

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 101 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 101:  Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life...Psst, It Isn’t Your Fault, and this is just a teaser.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  Today’s episode is the beginning of my new free webinar.  We recorded it last Thursday and it is waiting for you right now.  So exciting!  

Before we dive in, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button.  Get the idea?  Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 101 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P101).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:51

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:34

Hi, everyone.  I’m Coach Christine, your empty nest coach and we are about to begin our session: Why You Don’t Know What is Next For Your Life...Psst, It Isn’t Your Fault.  Hello, amazing empty nest friend, this is our three-legged shelter cat, Lego, stealing the show.  Just like I had allowed everyone to steal my show over the last 18 or so years.  Now, I consciously let Lego steal the show, and I take care of myself.  But I didn’t always.  

00:03:09

Before we dive in, let’s make sure I’m not about to waste the next 25 or so minutes of your time.  You are in the right place if: you can’t figure out what is next for your life; you’ve spent the last 18 or so years doing everything for everyone else; ready to make a long-lasting permanent change in your life that will benefit you, your family and others.  If any or all of these apply, congratulations, you are in the right place.

00:03:40

You should have received in the confirmation emails a link to print out this PDF which you can use as we go through this session, or you can grab any piece of paper that you have handy and make sure you have a writing utensil.  I’ll tell you at the end how to claim one of these bonuses, should you sign up for the GPS Support Flock.  I’d like you now to consciously think about which one you would choose.  You have Weight Loss or Simplifying Your Life.  If you could pick right now, which one would it be, and write that down on your piece of paper.  Or would you pick both of them?  Totally valid answer.

00:04:24

Let’s talk about types of people.  There are types of people in the world, right?  When you think about vacations, there are the types of people who love being out in the woods, in nature, sleeping under the stars, sleeping bag on the ground, food over the fire, and then, there are the people who have to stay in five-star hotels where they have room service, a pool, all that fun stuff, right?  How about schooling?  You have people who are diehard public school families, and then, you have the opposite extreme, those who homeschooled before COVID-19.  Then, of course, one of the most famous types, dog or cat person?  In reality, most of us are somewhere in between.  But we find we identify a tad more closely with one than the other, possibly.  That may depend on the day, right?

00:05:18

Let’s consider mothers entering the empty nest.  At first glance, they look pretty similar.  Especially if you go with what is posted on social media.  One look at that social media account and you see how together they look, or how together they want you to think they are.  I would now like you to consider that there are two primary types of women entering the empty nest, and I’d like to introduce them to you.  Self-Help Sally and CEO of Her Life Sally.  As I introduce them to you, I want you to think about who you identify with, and how you identify with her, and who you want to identify with as you move forward in your life.

00:06:00

First, let’s meet Self-Help Sally.  She loves being a mom.  She loves her family.  She supports everything her family does.  She is an organizer of events, of things that happen in the family.  She uses all of her time to support others, to do things for them, and necessities for herself.  She’s even responsible for transportation, even if it’s not the actual driving.  She has the thinking of how to get them from place to place, or when they’re going to be home.  Self-Help Sally wears her family’s accomplishments like badges of honor, on her.  They are her identity.  Which is great when her child graduates, is in a rewarding career, or is incredibly happy.  But when her child fails a test, drops out of school, gets arrested, considers new career options, she wears those as if they’re hers, too, because that’s all she knows.  Then there are her thoughts:  oh, I need to call a friend; how do I support my child; how do I support my partner; I have to plan that event for my extended family; oh, I need food for that event; I’ve got to get my own doctor appointments in and she finds that there is just a tiny sliver of time left for her, with all this stuff.  Teeny, tiny, sliver of time.  Time, that on the rare occasions when she has it available, she looks to fill it quickly, rather than simply being alone with herself.  In that tiny sliver of time that she has left, Self-Help Sally’s looking for the next quick fix to solve her life’s problems.  She wants everything to miraculously feel better when she’s done.

00:07:47

She fills that sliver of time with manicures, having some coffee, coffee with friends, fixing up the house, doing some workouts, maybe binging Netflix, getting a makeover, taking a trip with a friend, having a bottle of wine, or maybe just a glass of wine.  Oh, maybe she needs a new partner.  Wait, if I talk to so-and-so, they don’t like that person either, and a little gossiping goes on.  These types of things.  Self-Help Sally thinks she’s helping herself when she’s doing them, but what she’s really doing is ignoring who she is.  She has no idea anyway, who that woman would be, so it’s just easier to stay busy.

00:08:26

How could she find herself in that small sliver of time anyway?  She’s sure she couldn’t, so she doesn’t even try.  If she really thinks about it, she’s got it better than her neighbor down the street, Janey Sue, so you know, she’s okay.  Now, of course, many of the things that Self-Help Sally has chosen to do with that sliver of free time, they’re absolutely fine.  Especially when they’re balanced in her life.  If she understands their place in her life.  I call it the top of her life’s toolbox.  The Bandaids, not the cure.  It’s when she expects these things to cure what ails her, that a feeling of unrest will settle into her life.  In this photo of a dam, it would be like you knowing that there are architectural problems with it, and instead of hiring an engineer and getting in the proper tools and resources to fix it properly, you decide that a cork from a wine bottle will do just as well, or maybe like 50 corks.  You take them and you start filling in holes in the dam.  Well, you and I know that those aren’t going to hold the dam.  But that’s kind of what Self-Help Sally’s doing.  

00:09:35

The cork is fine for a wine bottle, so there’s nothing wrong with it.  It’s just doing the wrong job.  What Self-Help Sally needs is a cure.  No more Bandaids.  Sally knows that her child heading out on their own means more free time for her, and she doesn’t quite know where to begin, or knows once she gets through her list of things she’s been putting off for years, then she won’t know where to begin.  How could she know what to do with her time, when she’s spent the last 18 or so years in roles supporting everyone else.  Let’s talk about how she really feels under everything.  Watch her carefully.  Tired.  No, actually, she’s exhausted.  She feels like a mom-machine doing everything for everyone else, only she’s not a robot.  When someone asks her who she is outside of her role as mother, she gives you this look.  When she thinks about the time that she’s going to have, she thinks she’s going to look a lot like this.  Which might be fun for, you know, half a day, and then what?

00:10:39

She wonders who she is outside of all the roles that she’s had.  When she thinks about it, does she even want to know who she is under those roles?  Because it might be kind of scary.  She thinks some days that she might want to do what she did when she was younger.  Remember that thing I loved to do?  Sometimes, that’s great, and other times, it just doesn’t feel the same way any more.  She also wonders if her partner and her are going to get along.  Self-Help Sally is a role-filler.  She’s completely covered who she is outside of her roles of mom, partner, school volunteer, employee, cat-litter cleaner.  You know, those roles.  This is the normal for Sally, and this is why she can’t figure out what is next for her.  She needs to know who she is, first.  

00:11:31

But none of this is her fault.  She was never taught how to manage all of this effectively, and in a way that would allow her to find who she is outside of her roles.  While she is really good at researching the next thing that’s happening in her life and navigating it for her family, but what about her?  I ask you now, is there anything so far about Self-Help Sally that you identify with?  What resonates the most with you?

00:11:57

Now, I’d like you to meet CEO of Her Life Sally, and CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.  CEO of Her Life Sally has done the work, training her mind in a way that allows her to be strong, in a way she didn’t know before.  She has an internal GPS that guides her throughout her days.  She has a well-stocked toolbox for her life, and takes inventory of it periodically.  She chooses to go through life with a tremendous amount of self-love.  She understands what she has control over in her life and remembers how many things are outside of her fence.  All of this gives CEO of Her Life Sally a tremendous amount of peace.  Peace that she had never known before.  Now, if you notice, CEO of Her Life Sally also has badges, but these are her superhero badges.  Let’s look at one close.  Check it out.  These superhero badges are for: learning how to be kind to herself in her thoughts; for consciously choosing her thoughts; for processing through emotions; for training her Protector well; and managing things outside of her fence; for stocking her CEO tool box well, and more.  Now, I bet you’re wondering how I know so much about these two?  Well, my friend, I was Self-Help Sally, absolutely was.

00:13:25

Hi, friend, I’m back.  That was the beginning of this webinar, and I then talk about how I went from Self-Help Christine to CEO of Her Life Christine.  While I navigated to becoming the CEO of My Life, I have created resources for you to also become the CEO of Your Life.  If you want to learn more, please watch the entire webinar.  Check it out.  I have photos of my cat, of my family, and I can’t wait for you to learn more.  If you have any questions, along the way, ask me and I will be back next week in your feed.  Have a great day!  You are amazing!  See ya!

 [End]

[Bloopers / Still Listening]

[End]

100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

100: Lessons Learned in Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wow - episode 100!

I decided to celebrate this milestone by sharing lessons learned from podcasting, creating a business, and life. 

Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Be In it For The Long Haul. Take the amount of time you think it will take, double it, double it again, and then triple it: THAT amount of time. If you are good with THAT amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots, and changes needed along the way."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Wow: episode 100! In celebration, I reflect on best tips for podcasting, creating a business, and life. Enjoy! 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster #PodcastLife #Entrepreneur #LifeTips #Advice

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • My Top Advice for Podcasting, Creating a Business, and Life

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do any of these resonate with you? 
  2. Do you have lessons learned to share with others?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

FREE TRAINING!

Why You Don't Know What Is Next For Your Life

Sign up now to receive periodic newsletters from Coach Christine and instant access to the free training!

I take your privacy seriously. I won't spam you.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 100 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 100: Lessons Learned, Advice I’m Glad I Took or Wish I Had Taken. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! How are you doing today? I am super excited to have this celebration with you today. You know how I like to celebrate things. While I certainly don’t need a party or anything like that, I need to just stop and celebrate the fact that I have consistently put out podcast episodes. I have stayed true to future Christine and I’ve made it here to 100, which isn’t always the case with podcasts. There’s a lot of podfading going on. I’m going to talk a little bit about that today.  

00:01:25

But before we get started, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; or if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 100 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P100) I still can’t believe it’s 100. Whoo Hoo! I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:15

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:03:01 

I would like to formally welcome K. Soane, PreKureMe Health Coach, in the USA, into our GPS Support Flock Membership Program. We are incredibly excited that you joined the flock and look forward to your flight to success.

00:03:19

I had a bunch of ideas on what to do with this episode and landed on doing a lessons-learned topic to share with you some things that I’ve learned since starting this podcast, and a couple other areas of my life. It’s a nice time for reflection for me and while they all may not apply directly to you, sometimes you never know what small bit of life-sharing will resonate with you. I am going to give you four lessons-learned in three areas: podcasting, business and life.

00:03:45

First up is podcasting.  Number one, your first episode won’t be your best. Not even close. If you are looking to podcast, please know, going in, that no one is happy with their first episode. You’ll want to redo your early episodes if you go back and listen to them. Just be prepared for that. Remember that done is better than perfection. Meaning if you’re waiting for perfection, or if I had been waiting for perfection, I honestly wouldn’t have an episode out at all, and here I am at 100. So just do it. Jump in and learn as you go. If you don’t believe me and you listen to a podcast of anybody, and they’re in over 100 episodes, go back and listen to their first one and see the difference.

00:04:32

Number two under podcasting: 100 Episodes is a big deal and you’re going to have a different voice at episode 100 than you did in episode 1. Do you know that most podcasters don’t make it past 7 episodes due to podfading? For real. Once the excitement wears off, there is a whole lot of steps that go into every single episode, and you get very little feedback. I’ve mentioned this before, in my episodes, that podcasting can be quite lonely. It isn’t like we have an audience right in front of us where we hear them cry, boo, cheer, laugh, and provide any feedback whatsoever, only a few gem of a human who create reviews for us or who give us a shoutout on social media, that’s really the only way that we get feedback. No going in if you’re a person who needs a lot of feedback. Podcasting might not be the best place for you, at least not initially, until you build that audience.

00:05:32

As I said, hitting 100 episodes is a big deal, if most don’t make it past 7. You get to 25, 50, and then 100, that’s a really big deal. Milestones are important. I remember someone said, I feel like it was Jess and Elsie on ShePodcasts, that they said that most podcasters don’t find their voice and get comfortable until episode 100, and I believe this. I’ve tried things. I’ve had new equipment, tried scripted, not scripted, guests, more guests, no guests. It really isn’t until now that I feel comfortable enough to hit record and not feel completely anxious every time. The anxiety is gone. I’m definitely more me and more comfortable behind the mic, and I’m more willing to just try new things. Change it up. Super fun.

00:06:21

Number three under podcasting, your show is your show. I share this with you because I often see, in some of the podcasting Facebook groups, people will be like, “Hey, I don’t know what to do.  I’m not feeling it anymore.  I think I want to change my topic,” or “I don’t want to have my podcast be weekly anymore.” Your show is your show. You can do whatever you want. That is the beauty of being, well yes, specifically, Independent Podcasters. We can do whatever we want. For a personality like mine, who I really like creative freedoms, but I like somebody to give me a project and let me run with it. I love podcasting.  I love being an Independent Podcaster, where I have full creative control over my show, whatever that means to me. Not only what it means today, but what it means to me tomorrow, what it meant to me yesterday, and those, all three things, can look different. I love that. It’s so worth the work. While yes, it is a lot of work, with your show being your show, you have complete control to change it when you want to or need to, and this is what I love most about podcasting, you sharing your voice with the world. With guests, without guests, with sponsors, without sponsors, you can make it what you want. You can change it 400 times if you want. Sure, people might get annoyed, like it’s a free podcast. Get over it. Really. People love to complain about free stuff, don’t they? Anyway, it’s your show and that is what I love about podcasting. I love it so much. So fun.

00:07:59

Okay, my final podcasting item: bad reviews are a milestone. This is really important if you are about to embark into podcasting or if you just started, or if you have a bunch of bad reviews. Remember, what this means is that it’s no longer only your friends and family listening to your show. You’re actually getting out there. Now, sure, you are going to have trolly people who say something about your giggle, or your laugh, that is just ridiculous. Especially women podcasters, we get stuff about our voices all of the time. But sometimes, those reviews are helpful; they’ll say something about your audio quality, or give you an idea. Take them all with a grain of salt, and remember that it means it’s not just your friends and family listening. Whoo Hoo! 

00:08:47

My next topic is starting a business and having future you in mind. Number one, be in it for the long haul. I’m really serious about this. When you come up with an idea for future you, and maybe it’s a business, maybe it’s a huge project, I want you to take the amount of time that you think it will take you to reach that goal, then, I want you to double it, double it again and then triple it. That amount of time. If you are good with that amount of time to reach your goals, you are going to be well ready for the ups, downs, journeys, pivots and changes needed along the way to reach that goal. The journey is so much fun anyway, or if it isn’t, it’s going to be this awful climb. Who wants that? If you are prepared for the long haul, you aren’t going to give up when six months of effort shows one or two true fans. You’ll see you have two fans you didn’t have six months ago. When a system you spent two months learning or pouring money into doesn’t work, you’ll know it was part of a greater learning process. Finding what doesn’t work is sometimes incredibly powerful, and finding that early is a godsend. So yes, be in it for the long haul.

00:10:04

Number two for starting a business: choose time or money. Look, building a business takes time and money. The less money you have, the more time it will take. The more time you have, the less money you’ll need upfront. Just keep that in mind. Take inventory of your resources, and move forward accordingly. Number three, the power in doing things yourself. I’m a firm believer in doing things yourself when you get started. Especially if money’s an issue. If you have the time, use the time to train yourself, to educate yourself, to build your website, so then, when you have the money to hire a web designer or someone to maintain it, you know what skills you’re looking for. I know the tech behind things. I know right away when a salesperson makes an offer to me, if it’s worth it to me, or not. Usually, the answer is, it isn’t. My business, right now, is me and a dear friend who helps me with podcast editing and post-production. So, I know the skills needed when I’m ready to hire out. I have checklists and documentation ready for those new hires too. I’m spending my time doing that. Just ask my helper. I do! Number four, let future you guide you. Truly so powerful. It’s so easy to have shiny-object syndrome as we create businesses, as we create projects, and unless you have your future self guiding you, you’re just going to jump onto the next shiny object, so let future you guide you.

00:11:38

The last topic is life.  Number one, your GPS.  So incredibly important if I could make you understand your GPS internally, like magic, I would do that. Because when you do the work to uncover the future work that inspires you, you won’t need to look outside of yourself for answers. Your internal GPS will be there with you always. Always. So use her. Find her and use her.  Okay? Rant over. Maybe.

00:12:09

Number two, slow and steady. Look, in life, the five years that you take to build your business, lose weight, or create something amazing, seems so far away now. I know, I know. But when you look back you won’t believe how fast the time went and how far you have come, so where do you want to be five years from now? You don’t have to do everything overnight. Number three, mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. You’ll make more progress when you aren’t afraid of them. Number four, nature. This is personal. I love nature. Be in it as much as possible. It grounds you, and rejuvenates you. I’m ending it there, because I’m off to celebrate. If you liked these and are interested in lessons learned in other areas of my life, like particular parenting areas or maybe from my homeschooling mom years, let me know!

00:13:01

Of course, should you want to discuss any of these more with me, I invite you to join the GPS Support Flock Membership program. I have a discussion space for every episode. Fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community to join today, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me with the words Flock membership. I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend!

[Music]

00:13:28

The questions I have for you in this episode are, do any of these resonate with you? Do you have lessons learned to share with others? If you do, make sure you send it in for a Quick Tip.

[Music]

00:13:43

Today’s quick tip has been submitted by Dale Troy. Had I been a tad more organized, I would have included her tip last week which was on your anxiety about your child heading back to school in the fall. Dale and I are on the same page, of course. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Dale!

[Music]

00:14:02

Dale:  This is Dale Troy. I’m a college success coach and the founder of Crush College Stress. My tip today is for your college students who are at home, worrying about what college is going to be like in the fall. Some colleges have announced that they plan to reopen. Others have announced that they’ll continue with online classes, but many colleges haven’t even communicated their plan yet. It’s no surprise then, that your college students are feeling anxious, disappointed and even angry.

00:14:36

How can you help your college students? First give them some perspective. It’s always better to focus on what you can control, rather than on what you have no control over. Since reopening, continuing with online classes, or something in between, is the college’s decision, your college student shouldn’t be spending hours complaining or trying to figure out what will happen. It’s much better to be patient, be flexible, and be resilient.

00:15:05

Second, your college student should start thinking about what their goals are for the fall. If they’re going to attend college, they need to have the right attitude. The format may not be perfect. It may not be what they expected, but they can still get a lot out of the semester. The first step is knowing what they want to accomplish, what they want to learn, and what they want to experience. If they don’t have any goals, they won’t be able to take full advantage of what their college does offer.

00:15:33

Third, your college student should practice reducing their stress on a daily basis. There are many simple ways they can feel more calm and more in control. Here are some suggestions: practice guided meditation, using an app on their phone; write in a gratitude journal, three things they are grateful for each day; take a walk in nature, or listen to calming music with their eyes closed. If your college student implements all three strategies, I’m sure they will feel a whole lot better about their situation.

[Music] 

00:16:08

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Don’t you dare let the world allow you to forget that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[Still Listening?]

[End]