115: How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last? ⏱

115: How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last? ⏱

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Have you ever wondered how long you will be experiencing empty nest syndrome? 

You aren't alone! It is a commonly searched phrase on the internet.

I did a light bit of research for this episode,  and share my thoughts on the time frame I found listed high in my search results.

I'd love to know your thoughts.

This transition is one that can be as beautiful or heart-wrenching as you allow it to be. If you enjoy this episode or are curious about more, subscribe to my podcast, and let's get you in a place that serves you, your future-self, and others in your life well!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Apparently, this question is googled often, “how long does it take to get over empty nest syndrome.' I can understand that. Especially when a mother is first experiencing some of those overwhelming bittersweet feelings that could feel soul-crushing if you can’t find a way to the other side of them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 How long will empty nest syndrome last? This is a commonly searched phrase! I discuss what I found in the search in today's episode.  #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Others #EmptyNestSyndrome 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • What I Found When Searching How Long Does Empty Nest Syndrome Last
  • My Thoughts About One of the Top Search Results
  • An Analogy About the Transition

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you continually in a race to your life’s next milestone?
  2. Are you ready to slow down, dig deep, and to be ready for anything?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 115 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I answer the question: how long does empty nest syndrome last?  And this is episode number 115.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

[Clock ticking]

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life.  CEO around here is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of your life.  The question for today is how long does empty nest syndrome last?  Yes, I know the clock is ticking but first, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 115 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P115).

00:01:25

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:08

I want to give a shout out to Laurey Bennett Levy.  Laurey is an artist, designer and advocate who I met through instagram.  We have been cheering one another on and recently she reached out in a message with incredibly encouraging words to me.  So a personal thank you, Laurey, for that, and my wonderful listener, if you aren’t following her already, you should.  Her prints are beautiful and inspired off of designs she discovers in life and that others may honestly, easily overlook.  I won’t do it justice.  Check my show notes, click the link and give her a follow.

00:02:48

Apparently this question is googled often, “how long does it take to get over empty nest syndrome?”  I can understand that.  Especially when a mother is first experiencing some of those overwhelming bittersweet feelings that could feel soul-crushing if you can’t find a way to the other side of them.  Curious, I figured I would see what comes up in such a search, and the most helpful item I found was a 2016 article on “HuffPost” where they reference a “fun study” by Peregrine Adventures.

00:03:22

I am a bit of a data person, so I’m now even more curious.  The article stated that 2,000 empty nesters participated in the survey.  I wanted to know who these 2,000 empty nesters were, and to be honest, 2,000 isn’t a huge data set so I went a little deeper.  I did find where Peregrine Adventures discusses the survey (link is in my show notes) and it states that they surveyed 2,000 US parents and guardians of high-school and college-aged kids.  So, some of these parents weren’t even in the empty nest yet, if their children are in high school.  Leaving us where this “fun study” sounds a bit more like a “survey for our travel company,” but I’ll bite, what did they find?  They found in their question-asking that those who completed the questions came up with the answer that precisely three months and 14 days, on average, is how long it takes to get over empty nest syndrome.

00:04:21

Well, that is highly specific isn’t it?  So the great news is by your child’s winter break, if they are in college, you’ll be good to go.  And if you are in the demographic to take an exotic vacation, well, that is the perfect answer to fill your time.  Okay, okay, maybe I’m making fun of this a bit.  Yes, I am.  But I do find it amusing that I recommend participating in my GPS Support Flock Membership for a minimum of three months, as it is a great grounding start for you to move forward, so I could tell you hey, look at that, I know what I’m talking about because it lines up with this “fun study.”  Does anybody really know how long it is going to take you to adjust to the empty nest?  Nah, that is for you to figure out.  I do think three months is a nice benchmark, but if it takes you three weeks, or nine months, you are all good.  You are on your timetable.

00:05:21

The more important question is what will you do as you adjust to the empty nest?  Will you keep yourself busy doing things until you have found new things to busy yourself with, or will you use the time to spend with yourself, working on discovering who you are, learning to trust yourself as much as or maybe even more than the outside world?  Do you want to stay busy and just get through this, or do you want to dig in, do some work and have the tools to be empowered and effective in every area of your life going forward?

00:05:58 

I can’t answer that for you, but I’m here if you decide to do the work.  Our GPS support flock is designed to navigate you through the transition in a way that levels you up for your next adventure in life, no matter what that is.  It’s analogy time.  You know how I love analogies.  I’m sitting outside on my deck as I assemble this episode.  I am staring at trees and the green leaves as they dance to the music the wind delivers.  Where I’m sitting also delivered this analogy, which I now share with you.

00:06:31

Imagine that you, before-the-empty-nest transition, are in a field.  You, after-the-empty-nest transition, are in another field.  Between the two fields is a fairly deep line of trees, that you only can navigate through on a forest path.  Can you see this?  Imagine you are in the Before-field, and you’re in a race to get to the After-field.  It is as if the moment you feel a bit of emotion about the empty nest that a timer goes off and you jump into a race to power through the forest path as fast as possible.  You run, maybe trip a few times, but you get up quickly and get to the other side.  In your mind, you have made it. 

00:07:14

Now imagine that the forest path is a bit of a training ground. It has lessons within it, knowledge, experience, observations about yourself that you need to know to function better in the After-field.  You missed a lot of that by ploughing through as fast as possible.  So, in another scenario, you know the After-field is ahead, but you take your time through the forest path.  You learn things about yourself; things like when it gets dark in the forest, your eyes adjust and you can trust your other senses; you discover markers along the path that guide you through the clearing; you stop completely a few times to consider the knowledge you’ve gained and how you may apply it on the next segment of your journey.  The length of your journey has also increased your stamina.  Eventually you arrive at the After-field.  Which method is more successful?

00:08:09

What if I tell you now that you’ll have future circumstances in your life that are similar to the empty nest.  The empty nest is a transition, after all.  We have transitions in our life all of the time, jobs, family members, moves, health status, and more.  So imagine that after getting comfortable in the After-field, your next life’s transition is at night through the forest path back to the Before-field.  The transition is the forest path.  The version of you who ran through the path as fast as possible in daylight is at a disadvantage compared to the version of you who learned the path well, learned where to stop, where to start, where to allow her eyes to adjust and so on.  So, I ask you again, which one is more successful?  Fun to think about it, isn’t it? 

00:09:05

My husband and I recently watched “The World’s Toughest Race.” What I found fascinating is that the leading teams had much less time to enjoy the beauty of Fiji than the teams that were a bit further back.  While yes, the teams who took days and days longer had their own set of disadvantages, it was only because the race had a timer, and would force them to ignore their own health, things like sleeping, first aid and eating well, you know, that kind of thing.  But if you took the timer off, and they could go at their own pace?  Can you imagine?

00:09:39

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend three weeks slowly covering Fiji and having the time to take in all that it has to offer, especially after seeing the landscapes there, than to speed through and see it all as a blur in my mind.  Much of this comes down ultimately to being present in any given moment.  It slows everything down, allows drama to disappear and presents new opportunities to you in life because your mind is now clearer than it was before.

00:10:13

I didn’t forget. That original question: how long does empty nest syndrome last?  I can’t tell you.  Looking back, sure, three months sounds as good as anything, but I’d use it as a mile marker more than a stopwatch.  Go at your own pace, my beautiful friend, and learn lessons you may apply to the rest of your life’s adventure.  Future you is cheering you on, and I’m cheering you on.  As always, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, need some cheering on, and want three months and 14 days of empty nest incredible resources, okay, I jest on the time.  But really, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock.  We are waiting for you!

[Music]

00:11:04

The questions I have for you in this episode are one, are you continually in a race to your next life’s next milestone?  And two, are you ready to slow down, dig deep and to be ready for anything?  My beautiful empty nest friend, I hope you are discovering how to become the CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life. Of course, remember you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:12:14

Still listening? 

It sounds like I’m making big promises about the flock, huh?  Maybe I am.  All I can tell you is that the work I’ve done in my empty nest transition has served me well in my daily comings and goings, in my relationship with my husband, my daughter, in setting boundaries with others, and in truly trusting myself.  I can’t imagine living any other way now.  It feels like a superpower and I truly want everyone to feel this way. 

[Music]

[End]

114: I’m Calm. Why are people telling me I’m not? 🤔

114: I'm Calm. Why are people telling me I'm not? 🤔

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Have you experienced being peaceful and then having someone ask you, "what is wrong?" or said, "what is wrong with you; why are you upset?"  

It seems bizarre. But if your behavior is different from what others are used to, they are interpreting your change as not calm, while all the while, you are feeling an inner stillness. 

Let's let them be them, while you remain your new, peaceful self. Well, we can try. 🤣 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I’m incredibly proud of you. You are doing the work, my friend. You may be discovering peace in your life that you hadn’t known before. It is amazing, isn’t it?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Let's keep your internal waters (peace) still, friend. Even when others say you aren't calm. What??? Coach Christine discusses this topic in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Others #Relationships 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy For Keeping Your Inner Stillness

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you experienced calm waters inside of you while others perceive you as the opposite?
  2. Are you able to find peace often in your life?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 114 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss I Feel Calm, Why Are Others Thinking I’m Not and it’s episode number 114.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:52

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life.  And CEO around here, that is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of Your Life.  We are going to talk about peaceful, calm waters within you, today.  If you need to use the bathroom, go for it before I throw some water sounds in your ears.  Of course, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 114 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P114).

00:01:29

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!  

00:02:18 

I’m incredibly proud of you.  You are doing the work, my friend.  

You may be discovering peace in your life that you hadn’t known before.  It is amazing, isn’t it?  That peace inside of you may feel like calm, still waters.  Imagine floating peacefully in the manner that makes you happiest, in a boat, lying on the water, or in a pontoon, surrounded by calm water.  I’m going to imagine a clear lake.  Remember that not too long ago, your water was fairly hectic, and a bit rough.  But you have done the work to calm the waters in your mind. 

00:02:57

The problem is those around you aren’t used to calm waters from you, they are used to quite the opposite, so by you being calm, they see water that they are not used to navigating, even if that is calm.  It would mean that, if they are in their own boat, they may over paddle towards you, if say they are in a row boat.  Can you see this?  Imagine for a moment you are floating and you have the power to control the stillness, or lack thereof, of the water surrounding you.  In prior days you created ripples and sometimes waves, and navigating needed to be intense.  But as you calm yourself down, the waters around you smooth out and those navigating toward you, or around you, and I don’t mean that in an avoid-you type of way, they don’t adjust their navigation plan, so they don’t do well at all.  It’s that calm-before-the-storm type of feeling, “Wait.  Wait.  What happened?”  The mere act of becoming calm and peaceful has set off warning signals to them because everything they have known about you is different.  Sure you might be peaceful inside but what you are showing to the world may be so different that the world isn’t sure how to react to it.  They know something is different about you but they aren’t sure what it is.

00:04:15  

Let me be very clear here.  This does not mean that you now adjust who you are to allow others to become comfortable.  If your peace is found by discovering who you are underneath all of your roles and duties, if your peace is coming from honoring who you are, it isn’t your job to help others navigate around you.  You are you.  Their discomfort isn’t something you can change for them anyway.  What you can do is channel a bit more of your inner peace, rather than the rough waves coming at you.  Remind them you are peaceful, but it may take them time to understand. 

00:04:49 

Now let’s sync this up with our Protector and fence analogy.  This isn’t unlike the analogy I used in episode number 86, When Others Toss Things Over Your Fence.  Imagine that we are calm, floating on the water, we have buoy markers for our fence and our Protector has donned a swimsuit, sunscreen and sunglasses.  They are on a lifeguard chair floating in the water.  Imagine that when someone asks us what is wrong, when we feel perfectly fine, that it would be like a stone being thrown into the water.  [Splash sound].

00:05:19  

Now if our protector is well trained and doing their job, they’ll see the stone being thrown, and they’ve been so incredibly observant that they reach out and catch the tossed stone as it heads airborne toward us.  Wow, you’ve trained them well, give yourself a pat on the back.  Go ahead.  Now without the splash impacting your calm waters, the human who has tossed the stone toward you, know it or not, may react when the tossed stone doesn’t get the desired effect they were looking for, for you to be the you you used to be.  Say that five times fast.

00:05:53

What could the stone be?  It could be words like, “Why are you so calm?” “Why aren’t you getting upset?” “Don’t you care about this?”  “Why aren’t you reacting?”  Or it could be behaviors such as eyerolls, walking off, or a raised voice because they think you weren’t listening.  Okay, let’s be real, maybe you’ve heard this conversation before you did tune it out a bit.  It’s possible.  [Giggle].  We’re human.  In the end, we control our own reactions not theirs.  Let them be them, keep your waters still.  You’ll have a positive impact longer-term, and who knows, miracles may occur and they may join the still waters with you.  And, yes, it might take more than a few stones to reach that level.  They need time to process the change in you after all. 

00:06:37

My friend, let your peace energetically fill the space around you.  It serves you and your Protector well.  As always, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock!  We are waiting for you!  [Music]

00:06:58

The questions I have for you in this episode are, have you experienced calm waters inside of you while others perceive you as the opposite?  And two, are you able to find peace often in your life?  Check your thought-deliveries, train your Protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian, of your life and always remember my beautiful friend, that you, you, yes, you, are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:07:44

Still listening?  I am now creating EXPRESS Coaching Lessons in Instagram Reels.  Yes, within Instagram’s 15 second window.  Super fun to not only teach a quick lesson but find a visual to go along with it.  Thought-deliveries are made for this medium.  If you are on Pinterest, I share them there as well!

[Music]

[End]

113: When Something Unexpected Comes Along: Pots on the Stove 🍳

113: When Something Unexpected Comes Along: Pots on the Stove 🍳

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Some years the unexpected is more the norm than the norm (whatever that means). The unexpected has a way of leveling us up, stretching us, and making us stronger. When we focus on a specific project or route for our lives, the unexpected may cause gut reactions such as, 

  • "Why have I been working on this project the whole time?" or
  • "My work must have moved out of my zone of genius."

Or the dreaded:

  • "Wow, I've been on the wrong path this whole time!"

Sure, that could be the case, but when we zoom out to the bigger picture of our life, it might only be time to move that project to the warming oven for a bit until other things have matured. You'll never go wrong if you consider both before making a big decision.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Try different things, and know that some “recipes in the pots' are going to cook up a lot quicker than you were expecting."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Unexpected opportunities? Does it mean you are off your life's course? Coach Christine discusses in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Opportunities #Challenges💚

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy to Consider When Unexpected Opportunities Enter Your Life
  • To Remember to Discern What You Are Making it All Mean
  • To Remember that What You Are Making it Mean is Optional

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How many pots do you have on your stove?
  2. Is this analogy useful?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 113 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss When Something Unexpected Comes Along and it’s episode number 113.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life, and CEO around here, that is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of Your Life!  You know all of that simmering I have talked about in an early episode and within many episodes since then?  Today, let’s consider that our life may have more than one pot on the stove.

00:01:10

Before we head into our imaginary kitchen, I am about to open up a few spots for one-on-one VIP intensive coaching.  This is for those of you who can set aside two and a half hours with me.  You’ll have my full attention.  We’ll walk through your current situation, all of the tools and resources available in the Flock, how to best use them.  We’ll even create a custom path just for you.  To get on my list, message me on Instagram or send me an email at Christine@youremptynestcoach.com.  I can’t wait to work with you!

00:01:44

Of course, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 113 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P113).

00:02:02

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:49

[Boiling sound]  

In an earlier episode, episode number 29, I talk about looking at life as a simmer.  While we learn and grow, it is the time needed to become who we are meant to be, and rushing to a boil is a ton of energy that may put our lives in a state of frenzy. I say a bunch more about ingredients, recipes and such, and I’ll have a link in my show notes, of course, but what if we do that zoom up and out thing?  You know, like we can do on Google earth, where we take the focus off that one pot and now begin to see not only the stove, but the entire kitchen.

00:03:25

Let's imagine that on the stove, we see that there isn’t just one pot but actually two or three, all at different states of readiness. One pot may be for tomorrow’s lunch, prep work. The two others may be for dinner.  You know how it is, you have a well-loved and always utilized kitchen.  There is always something either just about to start or being cleaned up, or at least it feels that way!  

00:03:49

The fun part about using our imagination is that we can make the stove of ours big enough for six burners, or twelve or twenty!  This is your life analogy so as I progress, adjust accordingly.  You may have as many burners on the stove, or as many stoves as you like.  You also may use the pot to represent whatever you want.  Where, in my earlier episode I referenced a pot simmering as our life, but what if a pot was one area of your life?  You could have your career in one pot, or career options in several pots.  You could have family in one pot.  Things you are learning, you could have all in one pot or each thing you are learning is in its own pot.  You might have nine pots for your business alone, if you have your own business. 

00:04:37

The idea is that I want you to have this imagery, this analogy, for you to use as it suits you.  Let’s say for a moment that you are working on a big project for your career.  You decide to have a stove labeled career options, and you aren’t sure which one to pursue.

00:04:53

Let me pause for a moment, you know I always will ask you if your thought-deliveries are well sorted, and if you have a good gauge on who your future self is, and are you checking in with them often?  Assuming those are true, then try different things, and know that some “recipes in the pots” are going to cook up a lot quicker than you were expecting.  It isn’t until you taste it that you’ll know it is right for you, or maybe it smells super bad and oh, you know that isn’t going to work. So you either tear up that recipe, or you try it again and over time, perfect it to you and your family’s taste buds. 

00:05:33

While you are tossing a bad one down the drain, or maybe feeding it to your dog, (well, it wasn’t that bad after all) one of your other recipes finishes and it looks delicious, perfect but it wasn’t one you expected to be ready. You were really focused on another one. So much so, that you aren’t sure if this new one is worth trying right now.  Why not?  What do you have to lose?  Try it out, see what you think.  After all, that other meal on a burner might take a whole lot longer than you were expecting, and it may not be all you expected it to be, after all.  You know how recipes can be.

00:06:13

It also doesn’t mean that all of the other meals that are in prep mode, or simmering, that they just get thrown away.  All it means is that this one is ready now.  Imagine if you threw away everything else in the kitchen because this one meal was ready?  Seems a bit odd when we think of it that way, doesn’t it?  What if also, you imagine that the higher power in your life, should you have one, is like the head chef in the kitchen.  I tend to use the term Universe here, so anyone may plug in who their higher power is. But imagine that they aren’t telling you A, what you are making, and B, when your recipes will be ready.  [Ding] 

00:06:54

So they set the timer and the ding goes off with the chef stating, “pot A is done.”  Meanwhile, you were darn sure that pot C was the next thing you were about to serve.  So, of course, adjustments in your thought-deliveries need to be made.  You could spend your time yelling at the chef, complaining that you were ready to serve pot C and that needs a soup bowl, but pot A needs a plate, and you weren’t ready for that.  Or you could lean into the change, switch burners, grab the plates and get going.

00:07:25

Sometimes we do this in our life. We think we have a plan, we are focused on one thing, something else, another opportunity, pops up, and we decide that what we were working on is a complete waste.  We’re going to stop considering it at all and ever again, because this other thing showed itself to us first.  But what if instead of throwing all of that work away, you simply move it to a back burner, put it in a warming oven.  Oh, this imaginary kitchen has three.  Why not?   And you’ll have that other “pot” when you are ready to go back to it, should that happen. Then, there are those quick fry meals.  You know the ones you get for those days where you are busy juggling more than you should be and you toss something in the pan with a meal in minutes.  Those are exactly what you need some days, aren’t they? Or maybe most days for you.  Hey, it’s all good.  They serve their purpose and in life, sometimes we need little escapes (those quick meals) to gain perspective, until we have time to focus on our next project.  The way we escape doesn’t need to become our way of life.  It’s a quick fix, kind of like the top of our life’s toolbox.

00:08:43

What could this be for you in this analogy?  Maybe it’s a hobby that you need to take that allows your brain to think differently for a short time.  Now, I’m not going to tell you how exactly to use this analogy.  I trust you and your future-self.  Your GPS can figure that out.   As always, if you would like to see what materializes in your kitchen-of-life, sometimes the best meals are the ones that aren’t planned and are off the recipe.  You won’t know until you try them.  To dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock, of course.

[Music]

00:09:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how many pots do you have on your stove?  And two, is this analogy useful?  All right, friend, check your thought-deliveries, train your Protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life, and always remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:10:23

Still listening? 

It is no shock that my last episode’s still listening section was talking about things I have simmering and then I was led to this episode.  I love when that happens. I’m a multi-passionate person, so in my kitchen, there are at least four or five stoves and most have something cooking on them at any point in time. It is where I am most happy.  Are you like that?

[Music]

[End]

112: When We are Forced to Change Course 🆗

112: When We are Forced to Change Course 🆗

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Sometimes challenges - and opportunities - pop up in our life. What do you make them mean? I explore this in today's episode.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Life isn’t a one way, smooth sailing go-kart course, or street.  It has detours.  It has bumps.  It has U-turns sometimes.  Yes, sometimes we change course consciously, by making a decision, or we change our mind.  But other times, life forces us to change course for one reason or another."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙An unexpected challenge - or opportunity - is in your life? What are you making it mean? Coach Christine discusses in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Opportunities #Challenges💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy for When Life Takes You Off Your Expected Course

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How do you do when you are forced to change course?
  2. Will this analogy help next time you are forced to change course?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 112 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast; it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss When We are Forced to Change Course, and it’s episode number 112.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  Let’s imagine for a moment that you are about to get into a gocart in an imaginary, miles-long track that you know very well.  You put a helmet on, you take a moment to sit down properly.  You place your feet where they are supposed to be, seatbelts are clicked in and you do your safety checks.  I’m not sure what those are, as it has been a long time since I was in a go-kart. 

00:01:20

Now, before we walk through what happens next, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea?  You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 112 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P112).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:14

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:03:02

Back to the go-kart.  [Go-kart sound]  Imagine that you are on a course that you know very well.  It isn’t short, actually the reason you love this course so much is that you have it all worked out in your mind on the path you will take.  This one even gives you some options, in portions of the course, which-fork-in-the-road you’ll take sort of thing.  You are partial to one of the tracks and take it most of the time, but today, today you know there is a new segment that has been added and it will take you through a beautiful clearing that you’ve only heard about before.

00:03:42

You’ve done your research. You know exactly the path to take to get there.  After all, you’ve seen the signs and construction over the last few runs, and you can’t wait to experience that new segment.  Everythings ready, you start off. You feel the air rush past your body as you speed toward the route you love.  Some lefts, some rights, some ups and downs, you’ve done your practice and leveling up on those to know exactly how to handle them.  Those spin outs from your early days are a faint memory and you just keep going.  There’s the waterfall you love driving by as you can feel a slight mist on your face.  You turn the bend and know that the new segment is up ahead, but when you get there, you see that the new road isn’t ready yet.  The no entry sign is still up and you have a lot to process in a split second.   

00:04:40

We had a plan.  We know where we want to go, but we can’t go the way we had planned, for whatever reason. Now, I’ve talked about this before.  We have options in how we choose to react to the happenings in our life.  Let’s imagine that for a moment we could freeze-frame where we are.  We could stop our go-kart and make a scene.  Well, we could even get out of the kart, knock down the barrier and keep going out of sheer stubbornness.  Typically not the best option but it is an option.  We could stop the gocart in a safe spot, regroup ourselves, feel the disappointment, take it in and then move forward.

00:05:22

We could be annoyed and give up go-karting forever, even turning the go-kart around and heading back to the beginning.  That doesn’t sound like the safest option but you could do it.  And then there is the option to see the barrier; it’s there for the time being, decide it won’t be there forever and keep going forward on your usual path.  Since we are already imagining a course that doesn’t exist, and have freeze-framed it, I’d like to give you some insight on why the barrier is there.  A sinkhole opened up overnight that no one had expected, of course.  The course operators left the barrier up, but were excited to open up a route just a tiny bit further down the course that will still allow you to get to that new clearing while avoiding the sink hole.  You couldn’t have known this.  Actually, no one does, outside of the course operator who’s currently working on updating their website and letting their clients know.

00:06:16

Let’s go back to our freeze-framed options.  Option 1 has us making a scene, using up a ton of energy, complaining about the circumstance.  That’s energy we could have avoided if we had just kept going.  When we get back in the go-kart, you are so busy wrapped up in the drama that we have created in our minds, that we don’t see the new opening. I would normally say, your Protector is in full control and throwing thought-deliveries in your house and you let it happen.

00:06:46

Option 2, that we discussed, has us taking a moment to take a breather in a safe spot.  We regroup, work through our disappointment, but all while taking in the moment we see the new opening ahead that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise.  Curious now?  We get in our go-kart to check things out.  This is you feeling the feeling, reminding your Protector who is in control and considering the thought deliveries that are available to you.  Allowing you to move forward in a more peaceful place and open to new opportunities.

00:07:26

Option 3 was to give up go-karting altogether. We were so close, and that is drastic, plus we risk injury and accident driving the wrong way on the course.  Goodness gracious.  Option 4 has us seeing the barrier, and resolving quickly to be okay with it and keep going on the course we’ve always been on.  Hey, it’s fun, anyway.  While we miss the new opening, the sign was easy to miss, we get the notification as soon as you get back and have the opportunity to go try again with minimal drama.

00:08:00

How does this analogy resonate with you?  Life isn’t a one way, smooth sailing go-kart course, or street.  It has detours.  It has bumps.  It has U-turns sometimes.  Yes, sometimes we change course consciously, by making a decision, or we change our mind.  But other times, life forces us to change course for one reason or another.  Sometimes there is a new opening right away, sometimes it shows up ages later, or never, but when we spend more time in the mental drama that our Protector would like us to spin in, then we could easily miss the beautiful moments we so desperately want, or that we never even expected could happen.

00:08:47

My beautiful friend, when you clear out the drama in your mind, you’ll gain power and time in your life that you wish you had all along.  I talked a bit about thought-deliveries and your Protector in this episode.  I mention these in earlier episodes, if you are curious to learn more, see my show notes for links on those.  Also, this episode is similar to my Spider Web of Life  concept that I talk about in episode number 26.  In that one, the angle’s a bit more for when you make the decision to change.  But either analogy could work for this. You know me, always looking for new analogies for this journey called life.  Why a go-kart?  Honestly, I have no idea.  It popped in my head, and I went with it.

00:09:32

Of course, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock where you can comment right below the episode.  The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how do you do when you are forced to change course?  And number two, will this analogy help next time you are forced to change course?  Check your thought-deliveries, train your protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian, of your life and always remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:10:30

Still listening?  I have some major things simmering in my mind lately.  Is there anything simmering in yours?  I’d love to know.  And I can hear you now, “Christine, I’m simmering on everything it is 2020.”  Well your recipe should be in great shape when this simmer is over! At least that is the thought I’m choosing to use for mine.  Check out that simmering episode in the show notes.  Simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer. 

[Music]

[End]

111: Christine, My Child Isn’t in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

111: Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me❓

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Believe it or not, non-empty-nest humans listen to my podcast!

What?

Yep!

Since I create these episodes with someone in mind who isn't quite yet in the empty nest, this makes sense! Sure, many of my examples are empty nest specific, but you can change them to apply to your current circumstance.  Empty nest or not, thanks for listening, my beautiful friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... the lessons I teach are life lessons. Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only seven years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙No empty nest? You can still listen to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast! You don't even have to tell anyone. 😉 Empty Nest or not, this is good stuff! #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #NoEmptyNest #YouCanListen 💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • Why It Makes Sense That Not-So-Empty-Nesters Enjoy My Podcast
  • If This is You, How to Choose Specific Episodes

Quick Tip Submission

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Is the empty nest part of your life at the moment?
  2. Do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 111 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and today I answer the question; Christine, My Child Isn't in College, Can You Still Help Me?  And this is episode number 111.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  What amazingness are you up to, today?  I’d love for you to share it with me.  Visit me over on Instagram @emptynestcoach or send me an email: podcast@youremptynestcoach.com and tell me what amazingness you are up to, and this is your amazingness.  You could have finished writing a novel, or you could have managed to get out of bed despite not wanting to.  We celebrate all wins here, and I get excited when you win.  So don’t hesitate to share them with me.  Woo hoo!  Let’s do this. 

00:01:28

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:17

Someone reached out to me recently for some help with empty nesting, and made the mention “but my child isn’t in college.”  We talked back and forth a bit and hopefully she found my insight helpful.  So here’s the thing, I do have a lot of episodes focused on college, and this is why: if I can catch some of you mamas before you hit the super empty nest permanent years, and am able to help you prepare for the transition, then I feel like I will have been able to assist not only you, but also your child or children, and potentially others in the house.  If you are feeling peaceful about where you are as your child leaves, then you will be able to enjoy the moments leading up to it more. 

00:02:59

Now, all that being said, the lessons I teach are life lessons.  Whether your child is heading to college, the armed services, an apartment out on their own, off to get married, or if they are only 7 years old and it just hit you that they will leave one day, I’m here for you.  If your child left two, ten or twenty years ago, and you're still having some trouble adjusting, I’m here for you.  Here’s the underlying message I want you to hear; I’m here for you.  Guess what? If you are a father, I’m here for you!

00:03:34

Most of my episodes that are specific to college are labeled appropriately in the title.  You may find many of my examples are around college situations, but adjust the who, what and when to your own life, and see how that works for you. And if you would like to give me an example for future episode topics, I’m always open to your ideas.  I’m creating this for you, anyway.  Well, to be perfectly honest, part of me creates it for my daughter, too, should I not be on this earth when she hits these years.  And also, while I don’t listen to every episode back all the time, but sometimes when I’m stuck on something, I’ll go, wait, I did an episode on this, and I’ll find that it’s actually crazy helpful.  Isn’t that weird?  When you think about it, I create an episode motivated by my future self. My future self then goes back and gains insight from my past self.  Whoa.  It might be a little bit too much?

00:04:32

Anyway, back to college or not. In the end, all of us, mother, or not a mother, young or old, rich or poor, are left alone with our thoughts, and our thoughts about the happenings in our life have more power than most of us realize.  I talk about this in my episodes, of course, and it is the underlying principle in all that I teach, so if you are a single 35-year-old male who enjoys my podcast, thanks for listening.  If you are a 65-year-old woman who entered empty nesting 15 years ago and is still figuring out how to navigate it all, thanks for listening.

00:05:09

Adjust the examples as needed, pick the episodes as needed,  and I would love to know that you are listening.  Send me a message, you’ll make my day.  I guess you could be wondering if you are welcome in our GPS Support Flock. Honestly, if you like this podcast then yes, of course! You are welcome to join! In the flock, I am able to assist with accountability, I’ll cheer you on and I have a place where you can ask anonymous questions.  Have a question? Just let me know!

[Music] 

00:05:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, is the empty nest part of your life at this moment?  And two, do you see how what I teach can benefit anyone?

[Music]

00:05:49

Rachel:  Hi, Rachel Lankester here, Midlife Mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com.  My top tip today is to remember what you’re told on the airplane.  Always tend to your own mask first, before helping someone else.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll do a pretty poor job of looking after anyone else.

[Music]

00:06:12

Do you have a Quick Tip to share with my listeners? Don’t forget to share it with me.  Information on how to do so is in this episode’s show notes.  Well, that’s a wrap.  Guess what?  You are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:06:55

Still listening?  As I gather my thoughts for this script, it is August 29, of 2020. Our world just lost the beautiful, creative  soul of Chadwick Boseman from his battle with colon cancer. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, stage III at age 38.  So, it’s about the same age.  Working through the treatments is no joke. People do it; so many people we’ll never know about, and some you’ll know everything about.  It sucks.  Cancer sucks.  Death sucks.  I mention Chadwick Boseman and colon cancer, today, because, well any time colon cancer is in the news, it hits home for our family.  And please don’t think for a minute that you can’t get it because you aren’t older than 50, obviously, it happens, so don’t ignore symptoms. Get to your doctor if you have any doubts and trust your gut if you feel something isn’t right. I’ll link to resources on colon cancer in my show notes. 

[Music]

[End]