College Move-In Day: Tips & Helpful Items

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend!
 
Here we go. Move-in day:  it looms ahead in the distance and then suddenly – WHACK – here it is. We are hit with the balance of being excited for our child as they begin their next adventure and the heavy emotions that arise when you realize they won’t be in your home to check up on anymore.
 
With my daughter heading into her junior year of college, bittersweet sums up my feelings this time of year. I’m unbelievably thrilled for where she is in life and feel her independence acutely. This makes me proud, happy, and excited for her. I can’t wait to see what she does. 
 
Will I miss her? Oh my goodness, you betcha! But this journey isn’t mine, it is hers, and it opens up my life to be sure I am on the right path moving forward. Sure, it can feel like part of me is breaking off but this experience allows both her and I to grow in ways that we couldn’t if she were to not be who she is meant to be. 
 
Whew, though, those emotions that come up – when you least expect them, they can be brutal.
 
My recommendation is to observe them and don’t run from them. Ignoring the emotions will create a resistance that has them always wanting to bubble up – but by noticing them, claiming them and processing through them, you become powerful! I know that you are strong enough to get through those emotions– no matter what they are. 
 
Anyway, below, I share with you five things that, being in year three of this journey, I have found helpful, or that I wish we had thought of earlier for move-in.
 
Our situation is that our daughter’s college is five hours from home, and we have a minivan to move things – so things that I find useful, may not apply to you. As always, take what I offer and consider if it will benefit your life. 
 
The following information is about the “stuff.” Life skills are a pretty big deal, and I talk about that in episode 32 of my podcast: What Life Skills Does My Child Need For College? My podcast is all about helping mothers through this transition, so if you are having a difficult time, I invite you to take a listen!
 
As always, Google will provide you with an overabundance  of information on what you should pack for college. I can’t possibly cover all of that, but I’d like to share with you my top five items. Also, two recent posts that I have found helpful are: 
 
My list below does contain affiliate links. By using my links, you support my podcast. Thank you!
 
Below are my top five college move-in essential items:
 

IKEA BAGS

These are the fantastic Ikea bags that we’ve had for years (before college). They are excellent to throw things in (bedding/pillows in particular), and they easily store in a dorm room. I had no idea you could get them with zippers, too!

COMMAND HOOKS

Command hooks and poster strips are unbelievably helpful. A place for keys? Got it! Need to put up an important piece of paper you got at move-in that you are afraid you’ll lose? Use a poster strip (there is a variety of sizes, too)!

WAGON

I love, love, love this wagon. This is one of the items that I purchased in year two of my daughter’s college years, and I wish I would have had it earlier. It was life-changing. There were days where I’d make the trip to her school and back in one day. Without the wagon, I was EXHAUSTED. With the wagon, it was a breeze because I didn’t even have to pull the thing – someone else always offered!

SMALL TOOLKIT

A toolkit is one of the things you think you won’t need, but in life’s rogue moments, a screwdriver would be incredibly helpful. It won’t only help your child (if you leave it with them), but if others find out they have a toolkit, there is a natural way to meet new people. We don’t have this specific kit, but it is an example of one.

TIME

No link here. This is a reminder to pad your time on move-in and move-out days to allow yourself and your child the flexibility to stop and chat with others; take advantage of something you may not have foreseen, should the moment arise; or, run to a local store if you see they need something. It gives all of you the freedom to be flexible. Also, other than taking a few photos, this is a lovely opportunity to stay off your phone and be fully present.

What are your top items for move-in? I invite you to share below.

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You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.

133: What it is Like to Work with Coach Christine: A Client Interview & More 💚

133: What it is Like to Work with Coach Christine: A Client Interview & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I think the surprise benefit for me was that working with you didn’t only help me with my daughter’s situation - the empty nest. The way that you’ve taught me to - and worked with me to get better at choosing the thoughts that I want to think and gaining more energy - it spilled over into other areas of my life."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast (what it is like to work with Coach Christine: a client interview):



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Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:11  Skip Intro
  • 02:26 My Wish For You Today
  • 02:46 Start of Interview with Jennifer
  • 04:07 How Jennifer Found Me
  • 06:06 Jennifer's Hesitations About Working With Me
  • 07:21 What Jennifer Enjoyed the Most
  • 08:08 Figuring Out How to Be Okay With Her Daughter's Tattoos
  • 10:57 My Daughter's First Apartment
  • 11:43 Worrisome Thoughts
  • 12:13 Jennifer Shares Surprise Benefits to Working With Me
  • 14:32 What is the most evil thing you will do to a client? 😮
  • 14:56 How Often Would Christine Talk to Me? What does Coach Christine's Accountability Look Like: Calls, Texts, Etc.
  • 16:00 I'm a Busy Mom. How Do I Find Time for Coaching?
  • 17:47 Can I Move in With You? 
  • 18:37 Why This Work Provides Us With More Energy
  • 19:48 Jennifer Answers the Question, "Waffles or Pancakes?"
  • 20:13  Jennifer Answers the Question, "What is One Item You Couldn't Live Without And Why?"
  • 20:55  Jennifer Answers the Question, "All-Time Favorite Movie?"
  • 21:31  Jennifer Answers the Question, "You Have One Hour of Alone Time. No One's Gonna Bother You. What's Your Go-To Thing To Do?"
  • 22:26 New Things: Not So Empty Nest & April 2021 Coaching Availability!
  • 23:42 Celebrating You & Your Wins!
  • 25:41 Two Questions for You
  • 26:43 Bloopers
  • 27:00 Still Listening? 

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you relate to anything Jennifer shared today?
  2. What thought-delivery in your mind do you need to sort or clear out?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 133

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #133.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes - and this episode is no exception - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I interview a client of mine about her experience working with me, we’ll celebrate your wins, and a little bit more. 

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:11 

My amazing friend, in my last episode I talked about how imposter syndrome has a way of popping into your life in new areas once you conquer it in others, and interviewing a client of mine about what it’s like to work with me had my protector wanting to take over again - yes, there were some super speed intense thought-deliveries that I needed to manage. Look, I never pretend to have it all together: I share lessons as I learn, as I experience them! The good news is it didn’t stop me from asking, scheduling, recording and now editing this episode. The positive is that if I do this again - the leveling up that I did in this episode will make next time easier - on my thought-deliveries.  How are you leveling up in your life? 

As always, you may submit feedback, questions or comments to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find that in my show notes, too, if you’re looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. 

00:02:26

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you step into your life boldly. Your life. Not the life you were told to live by others but the life that you were put on this planet to live, the one where you are the leading character. 

00:02:46

Interview Start

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Christine: Today we get to spend some time with an amazing client of mine, Jennifer.  

Jennifer: Oh, it’s super exciting to be here, thank you.

Christine: Coaching brings up personal topics, so we’ll be using Jennifer’s first name only for this interview, as she requested. As with all of my private coaching clients, I’m truly honored to work with Jennifer. It has been exciting to be her coach: getting to know this incredibly intelligent, brave, and amazing woman. I’m beyond excited for what is ahead for her, and her family. Words cannot express my appreciation that she took the time to do this interview for both me - and for you to have a peek to see what it is like to work with me.

Jennifer: Well, first I have to thank you because this has really been invaluable to me. I think when we met I was in a much darker place, maybe, or less optimistic place, at least, and so I really appreciate the work that you do and think it’s fantastic. So, it’s great to be here.

Christine: My listener, right now is where my protector was throwing in those imposter syndrome thought-deliveries.  I had no idea what to expect out of this interview and where it was going to go. 

Thank you so much. 

I had never spoken with Jennifer about how she found me because she was one of those clients that purchased with no prior conversations with me, I asked her about this.

00:04:07

Do you remember how you found me?

Jennifer: Well, I’m a big podcast listener. I listen to a lot of political podcasts and history podcasts. And, you know, it was Christmas and my daughter had been home for a couple of weeks - and she was gonna be with us for a couple more weeks - she goes to school - she’s a junior in college. And my younger daughter is a junior in high school and so I was already starting to feel, you know, an overwhelming sadness that she was going to be going back. And just really, a kind of deep sense of loss about that. To the point that I wasn’t even able to enjoy the time with her because I was already dreading her going back to college.

I simply went on Spotify, and I thought, “you know, I need some advice on this empty nest business.” My sisters have gone through it but - and I talked to them - but they went through it a long time ago. I’m the youngest of six kids. I so felt like I needed somebody to place the feelings that I was having into context and help me through this phase. And so, I simply typed in “empty nest” on Spotify and you popped up. So, it was pretty random. And then I listened to several of your podcasts - not all of one hundred and thirty-some that you have now, but several of them, and I thought, “boy, you know, she seems really great.” I believe I might have signed up on your website for a newsletter - or updates, or something - and then when I found out you were doing private coaching, and I thought, “well, I’m not the wealthiest person but this sounds like a good investment, and this is what I need right now. I need to do this for myself. I just need to work through these feelings. I didn’t need deep dark psychotherapy you know, because you should go to a counselor for that- “ [giggles]

Christine: Yes, please.  

Jennifer: I needed somebody to work through the feelings I was having. So you popped up and you sounded great on your podcast, you made sense to me. I didn’t know all of the lingo at the time, I know more of the lingo now. But that is essentially how I found you.

Christine: I remember you booked, and I was like, “I don’t think I’ve ever talked to her before.”

Jennifer: Nope.

Christine: Who is this? [giggles]

Jennifer: Sort of did it on a whim. Sometimes I do those things on a whim. 

00:06:06

Christine: It was wonderful. I’m so glad you did. So, did you have any hesitations or concerns when you signed up and if you did what was your biggest one?

Jennifer: I was wondering how comfortable it would be to share some of the things I was thinking with someone you didn’t know at first - how much you should open up to someone in that space. Kind of like that balance but you made me feel really comfortable - pretty much off the bat. And, yeah, so I did have some hesitation but I always thought, “Well, you know, I can just not continue if it’s not going well but actually it turned out really well and became more and more comfortable even with every session.”

I think that was my biggest hesitation.

Christine: And you feel like it wasn’t a problem? 

Jennifer: Oh, no, not at all. I mean, after the first five to ten minutes. 

Christine: Oh, wow, that’s quick. Yay!

Jennifer: Oh, yeah, no, it was during the first session for sure. But you always never know what to expect when you sign up to something.

Christine: Absolutely. Well, what’s interesting is that as a coach, I always feel the same way too. Because - 

Jennifer: Oh sure.

Christine: You don’t know. And I would never want to work with someone who wasn’t comfortable anyway, so it is wonderful. That is kind of the benefit of the podcast is I figure if you’ve listened to three, or four or five and you get me - we’ll be okay. 

00:07:21

Thinking about coaching with me, do you - is there any part of it that you enjoyed more than anything else in the experience?

Jennifer: I really like the models that you use. I’m a big fan of visuals and analogies. So putting these important concepts - and the way that you’re able to put them in analogies like your protector, and the boxes of thoughts - I thought that was really valuable. 

It is a deep concept. It’s such a deep concept but the way that you’re able to communicate that, I think was really useful to me. So, I love the models but what I loved about the private coaching is that you can take things that are happening to you right now, and you help us run them through the models in a very personalized way.

00:08:08

So, things that we’ve talked about are my daughter’s tattoos, for example. I don’t mind sharing that with you. 

Christine: That’s a great story. I love that one.

Jennifer: Which I very quickly got over by working through the CTFAR model with you. And so that was a lot of fun. And now that I’ve evolved to kind of the CEO model, I can see how I’m able to work more quickly through those things myself but I still like to run some things by you because some things - and we’ve talked about a few things that don’t exactly fit the model sometimes.

Christine: Yes.

Jennifer: That you think don’t fit it. That you’ve helped me sort of see how it can fit and how you can re envision the situation in a more positive light to be more supportive to your child. And I think I have been more supportive to my child since we’ve started working together. I don’t get on her case as much about - you know - I was never a huge nag - I was always pretty positive and supportive but I always worried about her future and thinking about what she’s gonna to do next, and always kind of  - I’m a college advisor - or professor - I don’t mind saying that  - so, I know a lot about college and giving students advice and I think I was treating my daughter like one of my advisees. You know, peppering her with questions all the time, worrying about whether she was taking advantage of college and whether she was going to do X,Y, or Z. And I think you’ve helped me be more calm and have more faith in her and myself to sort of, let it happen, and let her be herself in working through that.

I think that was a pretty big breakthrough for me, one of the breakthroughs that we’ve had, including her tattoos which was a small part of that. [giggles]

Christine: Yeah, do you remember, I would love to tell - if you don’t mind sharing, what did I challenge you to do with the tattoos? Do you remember? 

Jennifer: Was it to envision that she was covered with all of them? I can’t remember.

Christine: Yeah.

Jennifer: I think that was one of the things you suggested to me, like “So, what?” You know, what’s gonna happen? You know, really nothing.

[giggles]

And then I kept taking it further: well, she’s gonna have to get them removed some day, she might not like them some day and X, Y, and Z is gonna happen. But to envision it and to be like, well, maybe she’ll get it done and it’ll be beautiful. You know, and it’s her own body.

Christine: Yeah.

Jennifer: And so, that was one of the more, I think, comical, and kind of fun things to work through. But there have been other ones, too, that have been really helpful too. 

Christine: Well, I’m glad you can call it comical now. Because 

Jennifer: Yeah, yeah. 

Christine: it was not comical when you first came - 

Jennifer: No it wasn’t. I was worried she wasn’t going to like them in the future and going to do something now that she would regret later. And, so, we worked through that and I’ve been able to let that go quite a bit and just take those thoughts, and put them aside and say, “What a beautiful tattoo,” because I do like the four that she has right now. [giggles]

Christine: Oh, that’s awesome! Wonderful!

00:010:57

Jennifer: I think the other model that we worked through - another issue - which was her getting her first apartment.

Christine: Yes.

Jennifer: Moving out of the dorms and signing her first lease. And that was scary for me too ‘cause she goes to school in New York City, and so, you helped me work through that one too. And, I’m comfortable with it now because she is very responsible, and she can handle it. And like you said, “it could be wonderful.” 

Christine. Yes.

Jennifer: But again, I had thought three steps down the road, like “what if she has a bad landlord? You know, what’s X,Y, and Z, and she and I have talked about the precautions to take so that that doesn’t happen but I no longer dwell on those “what-if” - more negative, I guess, scenarios.

Christine: Excellent.

Jennifer: Worrisome scenarios. So, I think that was really helpful, too.

00:11:43 

Christine: Jennifer and I talked about how when we play out those scenarios in our thoughts - our mind is already living in an emotional state as if the scenarios are real. We already have all of the stress as if it has happened even though it hasn’t happened yet - and may never happen. Our mind is that powerful - and much of my coaching is about learning to use this amazing tool - our mind - for us rather than against us.

00:12:13

I then asked Jennifer if there were any surprise benefits to working with me.

Jennifer: I’ve got a couple thoughts on that. I think the surprise benefit for me was that working with you didn’t only help me with my daughter’s situation - the empty nest. The way that you’ve taught me to - and worked with me to get better at choosing the thoughts that I want to think and gaining more energy - it spilled over into other areas of my life. I can see myself having more energy, feeling better about my professional life - 

Christine: Wonderful.

Jennifer: I get glimpses of that now. This spills into other areas of your life. Including, like you and I discussed, the death of my mom and dad, and guilt about that, and as we get older and have college-age kids, we also have aging parents, and there were a lot of thoughts I was having in that regard: of guilt - not just the grief but also guilt that I didn’t do X, I didn’t do Y when they were alive, and so, actually, I was really surprised that those parts of my life would be affected too by working with you. 

I don’t think it’s just about the empty nest. I think it is about all the things surrounding it. 

Christine: It sounds like you would recommend this program.

Jennifer: Oh, yeah, absolutely. [laughs] I think so. I think so. Definitely. 

Christine: Thank you. Thank you so much. 

00:13:33

I want to jump in here and mention that Jennifer is right, what I teach works for all areas of your life. I’ve worked with non-empty nesters - I’ve even worked with those who don’t have children at all. I do focus on empty nesters because I identify easily with those adjusting to the empty nest, and I’m still in that stage myself currently. I understand the emotional turmoil that may be the reality for so many. Some women get to this stage and feel like they’ve reached the end of their life because their entire goal was to raise their children. Now they don’t know what to do. So, I’m here to remind them that they still have amazing years ahead of them and I enjoy having this little secret  (well, I guess it isn’t now) that what I teach will help with all areas of your life. 

I’m giving you something forever. [giggles]

Jennifer: Yes, I would agree with that for sure. 

It’s now that I looked at the questions that my Instagram audience had sent in for me to ask either myself or my client, and I had this interesting one.

00:14:32

“What’s the most evil thing you will do to a client?” I’m like, what? Why would you even ask that? 

[laughs]

I don’t know. On purpose? Like, what would I do? [laughs]

Jennifer: Send all the resources in one day. [laughs]

Christine: Oh my go-  that’s really funny. I really try not to do that. [laughs]

On a more serious note, we did get this question…

00:14:56

“How often would Christine talk to me - what does Coach Christine’s accountability look like: calls, texts, etc.”

Jennifer: Oh my goodness. That has been absolutely wonderful. I get frequent texts from Coach Christine, and I just love them because they come on Mondays - and they come at other times in the week - during the weekend too, and they say, “I’m still your coach.” So she’s there whenever you need her. And, I think that was, actually, one of the surprises I was going to say in the last answer that I gave. That that was also a surprise to me because I did expect us to meet once a week like the program says but I didn’t necessarily expect you to be there on text  - for me!

We just had a conversation about something earlier this week where I had a work experience that I wanted to kind of sort through with you - and we went back and forth about ten times. And you just didn’t stop answering me which I thought was really great. 

Christine: It was so interesting. 

Jennifer: It could have gone on longer even. Definitely, she’s incredibly responsive over text when you need her. And I’ve really appreciated that too. 

00:16:00

Christine: Oh, I’m glad! Here’s a really good question, and I think this is very good for you because you are a very busy woman. So, here’s the question, “I’m a busy Mom. How do I find time for coaching?"

Jennifer: It was tough, I have to say, but it’s worth it, and if you think about how much time it’s gonna save you in the long run, like, honestly, really, I think I’m more productive as a person and the half an hour a week, and then if you want to take advantage of the text, too, and the resources - I probably spent - you know you can spend as much time as you have on going through the resources.  Coach Christine was really patient with me because some weeks I didn’t have time to go through all of the resources, so I might have gone slower than the average client. Some weeks I might have gone maybe a little bit faster - and that was totally okay with her. That part of it I wouldn’t worry about. And then if you think about it - it’s setting aside a half an hour for a conversation. 

I do think, you know, plan on setting aside at least an hour a week to go through the resources - she might suggest more.

Christine: No, that’s fair, that’s fair. 

Jennifer: As a busy person, sometimes I would do like an hour over the weekend, maybe an hour during the week, or a couple of hours in both directions. There were other days where I’d sit there and go through them for three hours. But the point is, is that it’s flexible and it’s not rigid so you don’t have to spend two hours a day doing the work. 

You should spend some time doing the work but it’s really manageable. Like I said, I’m a busy professional and I probably work in my professional life about 50+ hours a week, and so I get that. But for me it was doable, and I think you can make time for it because it will be well worth it in the end.

 

00:17:47

Christine: We had another bold question from Instagram, “Can I move in with you?” No. [laughs]

Jennifer: That would be nice. It would be nice to have you as a next door neighbor.

Christine: Awww, that would be nice. 

Jennifer: Yeah.

Christine: The feeling is mutual, actually. 

Jennifer: We can sit on the porch.

Christine: You are quite impressive, Jennifer. 

Jennifer: Well, so are you, and even more so. I think you have way more energy than I do -

Christine: You said that when we first met. I remember that was one of the first things you said to me. 

Jennifer: Yeah, I was low on energy. I was burning out. 

Christine: You have so much more energy now. 

Jennifer: I do. I have more energy.

Christine: Than you did. And your life isn’t less stressful, I would say - 

Jennifer: No, it’s not. 

Christine: Yeah. 

Jennifer: But I do feel like I have more energy. I really do. I was, you know, I was in a burnt out kind of place when we first started working together. I’m just really grateful that I’m not there anymore.

00:18:37

Christine: Jennifer and I spoke for a few minutes about why when we do this work, we feel we have more energy...you where you are now you see how all these thoughts in our head - it’s the clutter - and you see it in a house when you have clutter all over your house

Jennifer: Yes, exactly. 

Christine: and how it’s draining. And to me, it’s very clear in someone’s mind it’s the same thing, but it’s so hard to get to a point where someone understands that. 

Jennifer: And I had so much clutter in my mind - all the time that I would go to one room and I would forget what I was doing, and I thought it was age-related because I’m slightly over 50 years old, but I really think a lot of it had to do with the clutter: you know, always misplacing my phone, forgetting what I went to this room for, you know forgetting what I was doing [giggle] or supposed to do going from room to room. And I think once you get rid of that clutter, you can focus on what you’re doing at that given moment.

Christine: Yes. It is so powerful.

Jennifer: And so my focus has increased in work too. Not only forgetting what I’m going to the room for so that’s been a benefit. And I think that is one reason why some of my time has freed up a bit.

00:19:48

Christine: Jennifer was adventurous enough to answer the four questions I ask all of my guests..  my listeners know, I don’t have guests often but when I do I like to ask these fun questions: so, waffles or pancakes?

Jennifer: Waffles, definitely.

Christine: Any reason? 

Jennifer: Oh, man, I love the way the syrup collects in the little square things. 

Christine: Mmm.

Jennifer: [giggle] and they don’t get as soggy as quickly as pancakes. 

00:20:13

Christine: What is one item you couldn’t live without and why?

Jennifer: Does it have to be a physical item? 

Christine: No. 

Jennifer: Well, my family, obviously. That’s the obvious -well you can live without them, I mean but that’s not - uh - yeah.

Christine: Oh. 

Jennifer: I don’t want to go there. 

Christine: We hear her working through her thoughts, right? 

Jennifer: Yeah. I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go there. I was going to say my phone if it has to be a physical item but I grew up without a cell phone, so I’m gonna say my glasses ‘cause I like to read and I don’t see very well without them. Or, diet coke with ice - that’s one of my vices: I drink too much diet coke with ice.

00:20:55

Christine: And Jennifer has these lovely purple glasses. My audience won’t see them but they’re very cool. All time favorite movie? 

Jennifer: It’s a Wonderful Life.

Christine: Awww. 

Jennifer: Yeah. 

Christine: So, I could guess but what’s your reason? 

Jennifer: I think it’s about valuing what you have in the moment and not looking at what could have been or what you’ve lost but I’ve always loved that movie but now that you say it, “What’s my reason?” it fits really well with the kind of work you do, and we do, as well, with you. 

Christine. It does. 

Jennifer: It fits really well. 

I always torture my kids on Christmas that they have to watch that one with me. Yeah, I love that movie. 

00:21:31

Christine: Alright and my final fun question: You have one hour of alone time. No one's gonna bother you. What’s your go to thing to do?

Jennifer: Play piano or sing. I sing worse than I play piano so probably sing because nobody would be around to hear me so I can belt out my show tunes. 

Christine: Oh my gosh. Alto? Soprano? 

Jennifer: Alto, for sure. 

Christine: So, I’m a soprano. When we’re neighbors, we can do duets. 

Jennifer: Oh, you are? Oh, that would be awesome. That would be great.

Christine: [giggles] How did I not know this about you? 

Well this is great!

Jennifer: Thank you so much. 

Christine: I don’t want to take up any more time. Is there anything else you want to share before we wrap up?

Jennifer: No. Just that I highly recommend you. You’re awesome. Like you tell us. You’re awesome, too. 

Christine: Awww. You’re all amazing. I love it. Well, thanks for sharing. Thank you for trusting me to be your coach. It means the world to me. Thanks for being here. 

Jennifer: Pleasure to do it. 

00:22:26

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

It looks like hubby and I’s nest won’t be super empty for the next year - possibly. While our daughter was accepted into two grad schools for the programs she hoped and dreamed for - the financials aren’t lining up to make that a reality so as of today, she’ll be home with us in our new, smaller space. Cozy days ahead! That being said, plans are changing by the day, so I wouldn’t be overly shocked if this plan changes a few more times. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about having her home for a bit since we did miss out on a few years of a traditional education. Her graduating from college at the age of 17 has been quite a journey for all of us. I may fill you in a bit more on the home sale and our why about that but with my family being more private than I am, I want to chat with them about how much they are okay with me sharing on this podcast. It’s all good. Don’t worry.

Of course, since we heard from my client Jennifer, it is worth noting that I have a few remaining private coaching spots open in April. I’d love to work with you!

I’m going to skip some of my regular segments in this episode this week since I interviewed Jennifer but we must, of course first celebrate our wins!

00:23:42

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

My win? Setting some boundaries for social media and email requests during this busy month.

As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

Rachel shared, “I’ve taken my ADHD medication consistently for almost a week!”

Rachelbeth shared,”This week I set a boundary with my employer about my compensation! They were super nice about it, but it was really hard to do.”

Aiden: “I submitted my junior paper last night!” 

Ryann:  “I dumped my toxic ass boyfriend like I should have a year ago!” 

Sunny day: “Going on a vacation to help my mental health.”

Meghan H:  “I went to the last day of a class that I hate, I never have to go back and I’m so happy.”

Miss Mystery: I got a 100% on my math test.

MissBoyce: Pressing on despite troubling past situations.

TalkShitWithP shares, “My Mama just got appointed as the new Member of the Tanzanian Parliament and Minister of Foreign Affairs as of an hour ago!” 

What? Okay, Paula is kind enough to give us an article that we can click through and read this. This is truly awesome.

An Anonymous TikTokker shared, “We talked to my boyfriend’s family about him moving out with me and they took it great. I was so scared about it. They even offered us their couches (so they could get new ones) and were super supportive. 

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, it is your turn to think about a recent win in your life. Got it? Stand up  - if you aren’t already and give yourself a round of applause. Go ahead. I’d love for you to share that win as an audio message for my next podcast episode, or on my socials by adding a microphone emoji to your comment. Go, you!

00:25:41

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Do you relate to anything Jennifer shared today?  

and Question 2:  What thought-delivery in your mind do you need to sort or clear out?  

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 134 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 132 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

Before I go, I’m going to bring Jennifer back: My empty nest friend, Jennifer and I want to remind you today that you are amazing!

See ya!

00:26:43

[bloopers]

00:27:00

Still listening?

Podcast studio in my car?  In my script I said, “this is a thing I’m considering.” Actually, I’m sitting here in my car, recording all of the parts that weren’t the interview. So how does it sound? I wonder how this is working out? We are moving into a smaller space and this - this what I’m testing, very well may be the perfect solution. I drive to a park, record, and it’s better than the sound in my house. I think. What do you think?

If you want videos on how I’m setting my car up so that it works, I do have some on TikTok. I think I’ve posted some on Instagram. Super fun. And I can warm-up like crazy because no one is around.. Bbbbbwwwww - have a great day!

[end music]

[end]

132: Imposter Syndrome, Finding Your Funny, Your Stress & More 💚

132: Imposter Syndrome, Finding Your Funny, Your Stress & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"After all, all that leveling up you’ve been doing in your life until now is making things run a tiny bit smoother each time. And by smoother, I never mean perfect, I mean you’re able to manage your thoughts around the happenings in your life in a way that serves you and allows you to move forward."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 ✔ Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast (imposter syndrome and more): 



Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:18  Skip Intro
  • 03:06 My Wish For You Today
  • 03:30 New Things: April 2021 Coaching & I'm Moving!
  • 05:37 Ask Coach Christine: Imposter Syndrome
  • 08:45 Benefits of Being the CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) of Your Life
  • 10:22 Christine Where are You?  On Clubhouse, App, and Offline Prepping for Our Move
  • 11:12 Celebrating You & Your Wins!
  • 13:14 What's in Your Life's Toolbox? 
  • 14:25 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 15:20 What I Wish My Parents Knew: We Notice Your Stress
  • 18:26 Two Questions for You
  • 19:21 Bloopers

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you interested in beta testing my new community web and app setup?
  2. How are you doing managing your thought-deliveries?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community - coming soon! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission. 

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 132

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #132.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes for example I often mention your protector - should you feel a bit lost when this happens, I invite you to use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I talk about imposter syndrome, finding your funny, your stress, and of course, we are celebrating our wins and more!

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:18 

My amazing friend, in my last episode I challenged you to do the crazy thing. Did you become more aware of moments when you shut things down too quickly with your thoughts? Noticing these moments, allows you to be one step closer to becoming the CEO of Your Life. 

Before we get started let’s do some basic housekeeping - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And then, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find that in my show notes, too, if you are looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. 

00:02:21

I’m thrilled to share with you that this podcast is sponsored by SupaPass. SupaPass enables creatives to have a slick Netflix-style platform with a modern & easy-to-use feel, making it easy to browse resources. SupaPass powers our Empty Nest Success online community which is coming soon! A special thanks to SupaPass for providing a space for our empty nest flock to fly to!

To stay in the know now, or for transcriptions of the episodes and other goodies, visit my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com. 

Drop the YOUR to find me on socials - it was just too long - there, you’ll find me @emptynestcoach - and I’m primarily on TikTok and Instagram - the others I pop in from time to time. 

00:03:06

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you have a well trained protector - or are in the starting stages of training your protector so that you can pull yourself into fully being conscious in your life and take strides to becoming the CEO or Conscious Effective Olympian of your life. You deserve that, after all.

00:03:30

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

On a personal note, we are selling our home. As if I didn’t have enough going on in my life at the moment, sure why not throw a home sale into the mix? The good news is we are super excited about it - I’m not a home owner by nature - the upkeep of a home wears on my emotional state - so many thought-box deliveries for me to manage on the future upkeep of home ownership. And, honestly, can we even say ownership if we have a mortgage for it? ANYWAY, we’ll be moving into a rental and I’m not sure what that means for my recording space but thankfully, hubby and I like to get creative with things like that. Let me know if you want me to keep you updated on our process. This is a downsize for us but we’ve done this before. I love decluttering. I love living simply. And, I also love to share, so if you’re interested, definitely let me know. 

In other news, my daughter was accepted to a second grad school and life as it is  - she still has no idea if the planets are going to align to make one of them work for her. Wow! Waiting on hearing about the next stage of your life can be frustrating, emotional, trying, heart wrenching and all of that rolled into one - not unlike our adjustment to the empty nest! 

I’ve been slowly - ever so slowly - working on the Empty Nest Success app - how do you like that name? This is going to start with a website portion. If you want to be one of my beta testers for seeing how it works, let me know. I’d love to have a few flock members fly around inside and provide feedback on how to improve it.

And of course, there’s private coaching spots. I have a few remaining in April. And great news, in my next episode a client of mine will be popping in to share some of her experiences of working with me. If you are a regular listener, you already know that in the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my absolute favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! 

00:05:37

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

A recent question I received is, “Imposter syndrome keeps coming up in my life. How do I deal with this, Christine?” 

And my response? 

I’ve  noticed this too. It is as if the moment I conquer it in one area of my life, it pops up somewhere else.  For most of us who are aware of it, it is an amazing thing. Because the moment you are aware of it you give yourself the power to shut it down, or at least minimize its hold on you. It is a hold by the way.

The irony of imposter syndrome is that it keeps you from being who you are meant to be - by stopping you - it then makes you the true imposter. I have an early episode of mine where I talk about how I worked through this with coaching - it’s episode #8 and it is an early one, so be kind.

Next time you catch thought-deliveries that make you question your abilities or right to be somewhere - and you know those thoughts aren’t valid, take the time to thank your protector for the warnings but remind them that you are ready for the next-level.

In protector and thought-delivery speak, what if you think of this as also you’re getting closer to illumination in your life - who you are meant to be in that moment, and this means for your protector that they’re on their final training session for that area of your life and while they totally “get” that you are in charge of them now and know that what you are doing makes sense, part of them still wants to do that last fight back to you. After all, they’ve been doing this job for years - they’re used to it -  they want to protect you - and this is their last ditch for them to say, “Let me do one more test. See how she’s really doing. I’m gonna to send in a bunch of thought-deliveries in on super speed to see what happens.”

Think of it almost as a question, “Are we really ready to level-up together?”

And next time you notice those thought-deliveries like, “What makes you think you can do this?”;  “No one’s gonna listen to you”; “Well, you aren’t THAT good.” ; “No, you’re not ready for this.” and thoughts like that... rather than being annoyed at the imposter syndrome popping up. Note it. Know you’re just about to reach that next level. See it and super charge your training session - for your protector - to sort through those thought-deliveries. Know going in that yes, it is going to take more energy but also remember that each time you do this it gets easier and easier.  After all, all that leveling up you’ve been doing in your life until now is making things run a tiny bit smoother each time. And by smoother, I never mean perfect, I mean you’re able to manage your thoughts around the happenings in your life in a way that serves you and allows you to move forward.

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I do consider all submissions.

00:08:45

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? 

Becoming the CEO of your life, the Conscious Effective Olympian, allows you to get so much done. Drama is low and productivity has the opportunity to increase tremendously. Currently, I’m juggling the day job - and honestly it’s one of the busiest times of year there, a podcast, my coaching business, new sponsors, putting our home on the market, a variety of medical follow-ups for me and the family members, a child attempting to navigate grad school admission and decisions while having no experience myself, oh, there’s the pandemic, too, and I’m sure one hundred other things I’m forgetting. Sound familiar?  Life is like this.

Of course there are moments where I do want to complain, and sometimes I do - I’ll be honest, sometimes a lot - I’m human, but in the last couple of years, becoming conscious of the complaining that I do, always happens for me. Each time, it’s a little quicker. When the consciousness does appear to me, I remember that Eckhart Tolle tells us: that complaining is always an unacceptance of what is. And when you don’t accept “what is,” you can’t move forward - that is the gist of what he says - I didn’t look up the quote, so don't quote me exactly. That moment of consciousness is crazy powerful because it’s only then that we can stop fighting what is and begin to move forward. Sure, there are emotions around all of this and we work through them rather than bottling them up. Bottle up those emotions and they are bound to overflow at the strangest of times.

00:010:22

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead, and with my move happening, this is perfect timing!

If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there.

In my last episode I said, “life has a way of changing focus..” and, of course, since that recording we decided to sell our home. So, to be honest, much of my time will be spent there so if I disappear a bit from the socials, know I’ll be back whenever I can! 

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:11:12

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

My win? We staged our house in a weekend. This is the advantage to spending years decluttering and not having much “stuff” in your house. 

As for your wins, I’m happy to share the last two weeks of wins from TikTok and Instagram! See my show notes to click through to view these wins and cheer everyone on. As always, please forgive any mispronunciations:

Layla shared, “I met my target score on the ACT test! Now I feel much better about getting into my dream college.”

Sam shared,” I got ahead on my Spanish homework. A small but relieving win this week.”

MonsterTabs shared “was very productive today and was able to get up and do everything I needed to do!” 

TalkShitwithP shared, “My best friend got in a big accident this weekend and had to go through surgery and will need physical therapy to walk properly again but after I saw the car… am shocked at how alive she is and that’s my win this week… she’s alive, she survived the accident and the surgery and yes it is going to be a lot of work but she’s alive.” 

Oh, that’s a good one, Paula.

and finally Elaine shared  “went back to therapy!”

That is always a good win.

Thank you all for sharing your wins. Now my listener, I want you to take a couple of seconds here and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big, that you can celebrate. Do you have it? I now encourage you to tell two people about your win - and yes, you can tell them I told you to do it. Sometimes it is lovely to say your wins out loud to other humans. 

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - and you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my Wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram: just add a microphone emoji.

00:13:14

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me. I’d love for you to share what works for you in your life’s toolbox for others to consider. 

Sometimes we don’t have no idea what to do, and I’m giving you permission now to try things.  Sometimes you don’t know until you try them. If you don’t love it, it’s okay - you tried it - try something else.

This week walking was my go to tool in my toolbox. With planning for our move, hubby and I found ourselves sitting in a hotel room longer than anyone would like. We were waiting for showings to happen, and one good walk outside was what I needed to rejuvenate me - and also relax me enough to be okay with doing nothing for a few hours. That is no easy feat for me. Ha!

00:14:25

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

I’m going to challenge you here this week. I usually have something that makes me laugh out loud - that I found typically on the internet, or on Netflix - like a meme or comedy special. But this week, I’m going to challenge you to be present enough in your life to notice something that might normally upset you but then when you step outside of it, it’s pretty funny. 

As parents, we experience this all the time. Sometimes a story where we vent about our day - you can almost hear as you’re telling it how it could be turned into a sitcom, or a bit in a sitcom. Why not try that as a new way to process through your experience? A good laugh is a great way to reset yourself and by viewing your happening this way, there is a level of acceptance that has to happen. 

Thoughts?

Hmm… maybe you can title your show and share with us? 

00:15:20

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

I do not think this is news to you but your children notice your stress. You may think you’re hiding it but just like you notice when your partner or children are stressed, or your colleague at work is stressed and, you know - you know to steer clear of them today, your children notice that about you, too. 

Remember when you were a child and your parents weren’t in a good mood? Mmm hmm.

Now, am I blaming you for stressing them out. No, I would never do that. We are all human, it happens and we move on from it when it does, but remember that the more you can live in the present, sort your thought-deliveries and realize that the happenings in your life are outside of your fence, you’ll minimize the emotional impact on you which minimizes the impact on others. If you understand these concepts, if you are the CEO (the Conscious Effective Olympian) of your life, then you have the power to change how you are impacted by happenings, which indirectly impacts everything around you.

Now, I have episodes about this but others who are well run by their protector will notice when you aren’t managing your thought-deliveries well and their protector simply views it as an attack. Remember it isn’t them. They’re not even conscious enough to know about their protector, but when you level-up enough to see this in your own life, you can begin to clearly see it in others. And that being said, clarification: this is never something I advocate you use to be cruel to another human or do whatever you want. If you’re truly leveled-up, and understand these concepts it then allows you to have a greater deal of empathy for yourself and for others. It also allows you to have more control over your own life which in the end is truly the only thing you have control over anyway. 

Understanding and empathy is key when others are involved. Sure, you can make your thought-deliveries be whatever you want - “they deserve this” “they don’t know what they are talking about” but remember that is what you - YOU are choosing to think about someone else. If you choose cruelty, if you choose victim blaming, if you choose ignorance, and decide well, I can think whatever I want. Yes, yes you can, but who do you want to be when you think these things. It all comes back to us. Always. If the thoughts that you have make you unproductive - turn you into a human that you aren’t proud of - it puts you in a place that stops your momentum you are holding yourself back from being the amazing, caring, empathetic human that you are meant to be, or being a productive parent in a single moment. All you need to do is try a different thought-delivery. 

And I know say that like it’s easy. I know it’s work. Believe me, I know it’s work.

Well in this section, I’ve covered a lot of topics that I’ve covered very slowly over 130+ episodes. This is where I’m super excited to have the membership community that’s coming soon and app available to you - you’ll have an opportunity to pop in and ask me questions somewhere on what you’re confused about. How cool is that? 

00:18:26

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Are you interested in beta testing my new community web and app setup? 

and Question 2:  How are you doing managing your thought-deliveries? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 133 in two weeks and that will include my client interview. In the meantime, you have 131 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

And with that, don’t you dare forget, my friend, that you are AMAZING!

See ya!

0019:21

[bloopers]

00:19:31

Still listening? 

In the last episode I said I stopped drinking coffee. This week I tried adding a couple of cups of decaf in. I haven’t quite landed on if it will stay or not. My other beverage of choice is chamomile tea and Wegman’s has a mint flavored chamomile that is absolutely lovely.

[end music]

[end]

131: There’s Going to Be An App For This, Supporting Your Children, Your Wins & More 💚

131: There's Going to Be An App For This, Supporting Your Children, Your Wins & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Do the crazy thing, my friend. You know when something pops into your mind, and it makes absolutely no sense, but you feel you need to do it - called to do it. Why not do it? What’s holding you back? And look and see if it’s only your thoughts holding you back."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 ✔ Check out @emptynestcoach 's episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast: 



Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:14 Skip Intro
  • 02:53 My Wish For You Today
  • 03:18 New Things: March 2021 Coaching - Prices are Going Up!
  • 04:00 Ask Coach Christine: I need more space; What will others think?
  • 05:20 Consider Doing the Crazy Thing
  • 07:40 Christine Where are You?  On Clubhouse and working on the app
  • 08:58 Celebrate You & Your Wins!
  • 11:33 What's in Your Life's Toolbox?
  • 12:39 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 12:58 What I Wish My Parents Knew: Be Consistently Supportive
  • 13:40 Two Questions for You
  • 14:54 Bloopers

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you interested in learning more about the Your Empty Nest Coach app that will be available soon?
  2. What are you finding funny in life? I’d love to know.

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 131

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #131.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes - should you feel a bit lost - use my show notes for a list of earlier episodes to get caught up! High-level, I’m all about coaching you to become the CEO of Your Life and in my world, CEO stands for Conscious Effective Olympian.

In this episode, I talk about the soon to be available Your Empty Nest Coach app, I ask you to consider doing the crazy thing, I talk about supporting our kiddos, and of course, we are celebrating our wins and more!

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today.  Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:14 

My amazing friend, how did my tombstone talk sit with you last week? Are you living that dash fully? I hope you are! Before we get started let’s do some basic housekeeping - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946).  Of course, you’ll find it in my show notes, too, if you are looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. This episode is sponsored by me - and all things Your Empty Nest Coach, to keep this podcast going strong be sure to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast player, to share it with others, and visit my website, sign-up for my email list, and check out all of my offerings. Thanks!

Are you sitting in the simmer of your life, managing your thought-deliveries and clearing them out that allows yourself to level up and enjoying the journey that is your life? I sure hope so! I don’t have a big new thought or analogy for you today outside of the upcoming segments, I was jam-packed the last couple of weeks and while I’m fairly certain I had a couple of revelations, of course, they all escape me now. Isn’t fun getting older? 

00:02:53

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you today is that you have a peace in your life that you haven’t experienced before. That you discover the peace found when you are fully present in your life, in this moment, not thinking about last year, ten years ago or concerning yourself about the future. May you discover the now and gain deeper peace.

00:03:18

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

Well, coming soon: the Your Empty Nest Coach app! I talk about that a bit more later in the episode.

My daughter was accepted to one of the grad schools she applied to - she’s still waiting to hear from the others and that’s super fun! 

Finally, I have one open private coaching spot remaining for March, beginning March 15th - that’s Monday if you are listening to this near release - and then the price goes up in April! In the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my absolute favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! 

00:04:00

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I was recently asked this question by a listener who wishes to remain anonymous. 

I’m getting remarried and moving into my fiancé's home. So far, it looks like I’ll have no space of my own - or very little. I’m considering renting my own space to escape to and for my hobbies - what will others think? 

And my response? 

First of all congratulations on the upcoming wedding! As for what will others think? Does it matter? If you are the CEO - the Conscious Effective Olympian - of your life, then you know what others think is outside of your fence. Look, if this works for the two of you, you can afford it and it brings you peace, go for it! 

If you are guessing what others will think, you could be wrong, they actually might be jealous. Don’t we all want a place to escape to? 

If you aren’t sure what to say when people say something to you, I suggest coming up with 2-3 good lines that make YOU feel peaceful when you say them. Practice them, use them when the timing is right, and then be sure to enjoy those escapes of yours!

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I do consider all submissions.

00:05:20

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? 

Do the crazy thing, my friend. You know when something pops into your mind, and it makes absolutely no sense, but you feel you need to do it - called to do it. Why not do it? What's holding you back? And look and see if it's only your thoughts holding you back. Do you want to sort through those thought-deliveries? Maybe your protector isn’t considering them worthy of your time because they want to protect you - but remember you are the boss of your protector. We want you to be the CEO of Your Life - to consider things in a way that serves you and your future self. Maybe that thing that popped into your mind should enter your fence, maybe you should spend time considering it. What is the harm in considering it?  

My personal example of this is while attending Podfest global summit, I had the idea to host the Whova overwhelm meetups. It really didn’t make a ton of sense with my coaching and all that - and my whole goal was to meet others in a way that I might be able to assist them and we’d get to know one another. Well, eventually, one of the organizers asked me for a recording, which I made - and then re-made and it was posted on the exhibitor page. 

It doesn’t stop there. When talking to a vendor that looked like they could be an amazing fit for the hole piece I’ve been missing all along - I have tried other things but none were right. This vendor just seemed really, “right.” Well, she saw my video in the exhibitor area which led to other conversations and eventually a sponsorship of this podcast and the ability to have an app with all kinds of goodies in it for you.  

I don’t think that conversation would have happened the way it did had I not had done the whole Whova overwhelm work. How fun is that? And had I come in here thinking I want to have a sponsor and be on the exhibitor page, it wouldn’t have worked that way. It’s so much fun. I can’t wait to tell you all about the app, hopefully, in my next episode it will be ready. I’m setting it all up now! And by the way, none of this was even a thought in my mind two weeks ago!

I leave you with: consider that crazy thing in your mind that you may be brushing away. Maybe there’s a reason you should be doing it. The more your thought-deliveries are managed, usually, the more clear the opportunity is when it presents itself. Consider them.

00:07:40

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead. 

If you are in Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me and Deirdre there.

Oh, and I also created a couple of clubs there, too. They are called Your Empty Nest Coach and College Parent Support - I’m not exactly sure what, if anything, I’ll be doing with them but reserving those felt right. 

My plan for the next two weeks is to set up the Your Empty Nest Coach app and work on TikTok videos. I got a new computer - this is so much fun because I really enjoy video editing and  now my computer can handle it. So I am rendering TikTok videos - not doing it all on my phone - this is exciting!

And that being said, life has a way of changing plans, of course, and that’s okay. If you remember, my focus for 2021 is to enjoy the journey and I’m feeling fairly good about how well I’ve been doing with this. I hope you are enjoying the moments of your life!

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:08:58

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

I’m celebrating gaining my first podcast sponsor! Yay!

As for your wins, my TikTok audience is certainly not letting me down - thank you so much. This is two weeks worth. We have some great approved wins to share with you - and please forgive any mispronunciations:

Elaine Best shared, “I’ve gotten up early three days in a row!”

Hillary shared, “Had a corporate coworker reach out to ask about working with me through my coaching business.” 

Evette Shares, “I have been asked to be the host of a FB live interview.”

ClassyMalick shared, “Finally filmed a piece for a video I’ve been working on!”

Cheyenne shared, “I finally got up early for once to study and I think I did well on my test.”

Fraser N Johnson shared, ”Got an offer for my dream school.”

Lindsy Hall, “I got the job!”

Evelyn: “Got 100% on my psych Midterm!”

Kiarah: “My band got all  1’s in concert UIL. It’s my senior year and I didn’t get to do it last year. I’m so proud of them.”

Kerrigan: “I got my major changed!”

Emily: “I got a 100% in my test and then I helped a friend study and she got a 100% too!”

Kathrine: “I was able to quit my old job and got a new one.”

Sunny day: Shared twice with me. In week 1 they shared “Survived another day on planet earth.” and in week 2 “Set a timer for two hours and studied for all my classes.”

Some Insta friends shared their wins as well:

Melissa of DigiScrapHQ shared, “Making some best friends at podfestexpo but also hanging all the washing between showers.”

Kellie of EmptyNest Mom Life shared, “I’ve exercised every day for a week and I launched my logo yesterday!”

Tammy of TLCDesigner shared, “I’m learning to live myself for who I am - who I’ve become - who I will be”

Karena of TiltTheFuture shared, “I published my book today!”

Wow, thank you all for sharing your wins. This feels so good. I hope you feel well, too. And listener, I want you to take a moment and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big, that you can celebrate. You got it? Now give yourself a high-five. And that goes for everyone who shared your win with us. 

As a reminder, you can always share your win with us - you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes, or pop in the comments of my Wednesday Win videos on TikTok or Instagram and add a microphone emoji.

00:11:33

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me.

I have something to share with you, today. I love nature sounds. I believe I’ve mentioned this before but I like to pop outside to hear the sounds of nature: the rustling of leaves that a squirrel just walked through, or birds - we have a lot of birds here and did you know there is a lovely podcast hosted and produced by Suzy Buttress. It's called The Casual Birder Podcast and Suzy shares her observations of local birds in southern England to those seen internationally. She has recorded bird walks, interviews and stories from birdwatchers around the world in her episodes, if you enjoy bird listening - definitely check her podcast out.

00:12:39

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

Brian Regan has a new Netflix special out. Our family was lucky enough to see him in person years ago - it was great. This new one titled “On the Rocks,” had hubby and I laughing out loud. If you like clean comedy, you might want to watch it.

00:12:58

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Courtesy of TikTok, I’m here to tell you that your children want you to be supportive. Consistently supportive. Not uh, “Oh, I’m supportive,” one moment and then “yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” kind of thing.

As a coach, if you were my client and you weren’t sure how you feel about something, I would recommend that you be honest with your child and let them know that you are doing your own work to be supportive - which is what you want to be - that it might not be an easy one so you may catch yourself but that ultimately you do want to support them. If, however, you don’t feel you can be supportive, don’t fake support one minute only to withdraw it the next - that isn’t fun for anyone.

00:13:40

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Are you interested in learning more about the Your Empty Nest Coach app that will be available soon?  

and Question 2:  What are you finding funny in life? I’d love to know.

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 132 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 130 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or relisten to. 

And with that, stop for a second, take a deep breath  - go ahead - in and out - and listen to me remind you that you, my friend, you are AMAZING!

See ya!

0014:45

[bloopers]

00:14:51

Still listening? 

Oh my gosh, I stopped drinking coffee! No joke. I’ve had one cup within the last week. 

[end music]

[end]

130: Things That Won’t Be on My Tombstone, New FAFSA Calculations, Your Wins & More 💚

130: Things That Won't Be on My Tombstone, New FAFSA Calculations, Your Wins & More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The world needs you - not carbon copies of other humans. We need you to be authentically, unabashedly you, so I hope that if you don’t already know who you are, that you get a glimpse of your future this week."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 ✔ Check out this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast: 



Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:00 Skip Intro and Get to the Tombstone Talk
  • 04:36 My Wish For You Today
  • 05:18 New Things: March 2021 Coaching
  • 05:52 Ask Coach Christine: "Can you comment on the FAFSA removing the consideration of multiple college students in the family?"
  • 07:28 Give, give, give
  • 08:19 Christine Where are You?  On Clubhouse and at Podfest Global Summit
  • 10:18 Celebrate You & Your Wins!
  • 12:45 What's in Your Life's Toolbox? 
  • 13:58 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 13:59 What I Wish My Parents Knew: About the Kitchen
  • 14:55 Two Questions for You
  • 15:53 Bloopers

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Was the tombstone talk too much? 
  2. Is this the week you call in and share something with my podcast audience?

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 130

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and we’re on episode #130.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes. Should you feel a bit lost - use my show notes for best places to begin!

In this episode, I talk about Things that Won’t be on My Tombstone, of course the wins you are celebrating, this thing called Podfest Global Summit and more.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today. Here we go.

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:00

My amazing friend. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. You’ve chosen to listen to my voice, and what a privilege that is for me. I don’t take your time lightly, so thank you. Let’s do some basic housekeeping first - you’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! I would love for you, as you listen, to think of two people you could share this podcast episode with and then share it! And, of course, don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of this episode by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (920-543-3946). You’ll find it in my shownotes, too, if you are looking for it later.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach dot com. This episode is sponsored by me - and all things Your Empty Nest Coach, so to keep this podcast going strong be sure to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast player, to share it with others, and visit my website, sign-up for my email list, and check out all of my offerings.Thanks!

[creepy music]? 

I know you’re thinking, “Christine, why are you talking about tombstones?” 

I know, I know, no one likes to think about death but remembering that lives are finite can be a tool to use to put the many frustrations of daily life into perspective quickly, and then work through your thought-deliveries and training up your protector - and all that other fun stuff I talk about. 

00:02:49:

But this week, I found myself saying off the cuff to someone, “Well, the number of instagram followers I have will not be on my tombstone.” and then I started listing things that won’t be on my tombstone… I mean pretty much nothing will be on my tombstone, should I have one. What do we get birthdate  - dash - and end date.  Ouch. A dash. Not how many instagram followers, not how many speaking engagements, not how many children you have, not your college major, not how much money you make, or clients you have, or what you did for a living. And in the end I don’t think I’m going to look back on my life and say, "You know it is a darn shame that in 2021 I didn’t already have 100,000 downloads. I mean, that, that would have made this life worth living." 

Yeah, I don’t know why I talk like that in the future.

Let’s be real.

So, if the idea of thinking about this doesn’t freak you out, when you get frustrated this week, remember, this stuff isn’t going to be on your tombstone. And at the end of your life, more than likely, you’ll be thinking about relationships. Those that you wish you did more with, those that you wish you might have let go of sooner. Those that you are proud of and that you are glad you cultivated. I don’t know, what do you think you’ll be thinking about? If you find this resource helpful to you, it is a good resource to have in the top of your life’s toolbox. And for the record, I remembered that I had read or heard somewhere about making the dash mean something...I did a quick google search, and found the Dash poem - it says more on this than I just did, so I’ll link to the website in my show notes, if you want to check it out. 

00:04:36

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today ✅

My amazing friend, my wish for you, today, is that you, yes you, discover a new amazing aspect of you that you have been hiding for some time. I’m giving you permission to be curious about that part of you. The world needs you - not carbon copies of other humans. We need you to be authentically, unabashedly you, so I hope that if you don’t already know who you are, that you get a glimpse of your future this week. As always, I encourage you to manage your thought-deliveries in a way that serves you, and future you well. 

00:05:18

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

New things!

Well, this one is not really new but I have a few open registration spots remaining for March, beginning March 15th. In the Your Empty Nest Coach part of my life, my private coaching clients are top tier - they’re my favorites. We have weekly private zoom calls, I send you resources, and you have a line of communication with me between sessions. It’s so much fun, and I’d love to work with you! I have more going on but I’ll share that in an upcoming segment.

00:05:52

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I was recently asked this question on TikTok and responded with a video: 

Can you comment on the FAFSA removing the consideration of multiple college students in the family? My youngest daughter may need to delay a year.

And my response? I didn’t actually know about this but thankfully my day job is in an enrollment office at a college and I asked my amazing colleague, Ashling in our Student Financial Services office about this. She confirmed that, “Yes, this is true.” 

In the new version of the FAFSA which will be easier to complete and streamlined, it will only ask you how many people are in your household - it won’t ask you how many are in college.

It is basically a newly calculated EFC that will now be called an SAI.

The SAI will go lower than zero to -$1500, where the EFC goes as low as 0. 

This is scheduled to be in effect the 2023 - 2024 school year which means that October 1st 2022 when the FAFSA opens, this new calculation will be in place. 

Now as someone who likes data, I would love to see a side by side calculation to see the actual difference because it might not be as significant as it sounds with the new calculation. Any takers on doing this comparison? 

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I consider all submissions.

00:07:28

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned

What have I learned recently? 

Give, give, give, give and expect nothing in return. I’ve been giving a lot recently and on purpose. Someone watching me might say I give too much of my time to things that don’t have a specific purpose that ties back to my business. I have no expectations of anything when I give and it makes things super fun and interesting when the universe responds in ways that I not only might have been hopeful for but also that exceed any expectation I might possibly have. Try giving a little more this week than you might have in some area of your life - have no expectations and see what happens - it might just be, it feels darn good to help another human.

00:08:19

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you?

Deirdre Dolan Nesline and I are continuing our Friday morning Clubhouse declutter tips sessions. Deirdre provides great tips for your weekend ahead. 

Rachel Lankester was kind enough to invite me into a Clubhouse room to talk about Empty Nesting this week, as well. 

If you are on Clubhouse, be sure to follow me, Deirdre and Rachel there - great energy all around, if I do say so myself. 

This week ahead, I’m attending Podfest Global Summit any free moment I have. It is virtual which means, I can squeeze in a few sessions over my lunch break and in the evening. I was lucky enough to speak on a panel this past Monday - it was all about Higher Education in podcasting - or vice versa. A special shout out goes to the amazing Lesa Beals of the podcast Not Your College Life for including me on the panel. You’re the best!

With my speaking gig over, I’m quite active on the Whova app as I’m free because I’m all about making connections, and have had great fun running meetups about Whova overwhelm - for those who don’t know, Whova is the app that the conference is being held through. My former programmer/analyst days are coming out and I love helping others get comfortable with tech. 

If you are listening to this a few days after the release, I have free base passes for you to attend. This is an amazing conference with value in so many areas - not just podcasting, so don’t be shy, check it out and use the code EmptyNestSuccess all one word to earn yourself a free spot at the summit. Then be sure to connect with me on the app!

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:10:18

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins[sound] 

I tried something new with this, this week - I post Wednesday Wins videos regularly on TikTok. This week I also posted on Instagram and I mentioned in both that if you put the microphone emoji in your shared win in the comment, that it’s your way of giving me permission to share your win on my podcast. And some of you were willing. As always, the small wins count as much as the big ones!

I’ve had a lot of wins this past week. The one that has been good for me personally is with all of the happenings going on in my life, I’ve done a good job at managing my thought-deliveries, my protector, watching the overwhelm, and I’ve still made time to be still periodically. That’s no small feat. 

And now I have some fun approved wins from listeners and followers to share with you: 

Sloppyspacefish shared, “My boss approved my idea to add a JOAD program to our camp.”

JaeHermann.co shared, “I aint killed nobody, yet. 🥳 Mercury Retrogade has been kicking my arse, but I’m on the upswing, so that’s a win, too!!”

Talkshitwithp  on Instagram shared,”being a 1st time case study speaker at podfest.” Now listener, I had the privilege of chatting with Paula - and I’m so excited for her to share her session - “How podcasting saved my mental health.” And I plan to stay up past my bedtime to watch it.

AmazingAnonymousMama shared, “My daughter’s thinking of changing her majors and I remembered your TikTok and didn’t freak out.” Thank you AmazingAnonymousMama for spending time with me on my TikTok live - and sharing that. It means the absolute world to me.

Thank you all for sharing your wins. And listener, I want you to take a moment and think of a moment that happened today: small - or big. You got it? Please give yourself a pat on the back, and those of you who shared with us here, thank you for letting me share your wins with my audience. 

Now, my amazing listener, don’t forget to share your win with us - you may send it to me in my DMs on social media, use my google voice number, yes, that’s in my show notes. Or pop in the comments of my wednesday win videos on TikTok or Instagram and add that microphone emoji. 

00:12:45

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox?

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in life in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next; other things are tools and resources that allow you to do the deeper work - like this podcast, my workshops, or doing coaching work with me. As always, I’d love for you to share what you use in your life’s toolbox for either moment in life - use that Google voice number to share, or DM me!

Today, I’m going to share something I use to help me focus - which I need more often than you would probably guess. I’m using one now, or I was, as I was planning this episode -  and that is focus audio is what I’ll call it: for me that looks like brown noise I listen to on YouTube or the deep focus playlist on Spotify - which I was introduced to by the wonderful Alesia Galati. Thank you for sharing that on Instagram ages ago, Alesia. It has helped me get through more than a few work days and projects! 

My listener, have you listened to that playlist? Definitely check it out.

00:13:58

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

I have to do this one. I know. But I have to. It’s the lawyer with the cat filter. I caught this one early on and did a reaction video on TikTok, shared it on Instagram and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched this video and still laugh. I truly hope the man behind the cat filter knows how much joy he has brought the world. I’ll put a link to my reaction in the show notes!

00:13:59

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Your young adult or adult children might want a bit more independence in the kitchen. If you do all of the cooking and meals are scheduled, they might want to feed themselves, use the oven between meals, and cook late at night. It might be worth a discussion to see how they can gain a bit more independence in the kitchen while respecting your needs.

This is based on, what else? Yep, comments left on my TikTok videos, of course. 

00:14:55

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Was the tombstone talk too much? 

and Question 2:  Is this the week you call in and share something with my podcast audience? 

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow or subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

I plan to be back with episode 131 in two weeks. In the meantime, you have 129 other episodes, from me, to catch up on, or to relisten to. And with that, don’t you dare forget, that you are amazing!

See ya!

0015:53

[bloopers]

[music]

[end]

129: Potholes of Life, Your College Student Wants an Apartment, Wins and More💚

129: Potholes of Life, Your College Student Wants an Apartment, Wins, and More 💚

Hello, my amazing friend!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"How do you react when you notice the potholes of your life? Do you notice them? Are you conscious enough in your thinking to consider that you may have seen this one before and it’s time to learn how to work around it?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙 Check out this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast: 



Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 01:00 Intro
  • 02:17 My Wish For You Today
  • 02:39 New Things: Potholes, A Month Off, Daughter is Back to School and February Coaching Opportunity
  • 06:10 Ask Coach Christine: "My child wants to move to an apartment close to their campus and their classes are online. Why?"
  • 08:55 I need my morning reset time
  • 10:27 On Clubhouse
  • 11:40 Celebrate You & Your Wins: Thanks to my TikTok friends for their contributions
  • 13:06 What's in Your Life's Toolbox? 
  • 13:52 Let's Find the Funny! 
  • 13:59 Your Children Want to Feel Heard
  • 15:06 Two Questions for You
  • 15:53 Bloopers
  • 16:02 Still Listening? 

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do you have potholes where you live?
  2. Will you check in with your children this week and make some time to really listen? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 129 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and we’re on episode #129.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes. Should you feel a bit lost - use my show notes for best places to begin!

In this episode, I talk about potholes: in Pennsylvania - and in life,  what your child wants you to know, we celebrate the wins of others, and more!

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode, today. Let’s do this thing. 

[happy music under voiceover]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest - or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally (the hotline video operator), popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan!

[end happy music]

00:01:00

My friend, I know how valuable your time is and please know that every moment you spend with me, here, is appreciated. I’m sending you positive thoughts through the airwaves. I hope that you find value, humor, or something new to consider for your life as you listen. You’ll find a list of episode topics and time markers on where they appear in my show notes, should you want to hop around - or return to a segment later! Don’t forget that you are invited - yes you - to submit to any section of these episodes by leaving me a message (text or audio) - on my google voice number: That’s 1-920-LIFEWIN or (1-920-543-3946). You’ll find it in my shownotes.

All of my offerings, podcast show notes, transcriptions of the episodes, and more can be found on my website: Your Empty Nest Coach.com. This show is sponsored by me - and all things Your Empty Nest Coach, so to keep it going strong be sure to subscribe to this podcast in your favorite podcast player AND if you like something you hear, don’t forget to share it on the socials so others may learn about it. Thanks!

 00:02:17

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Wish for You Today 

My beautiful friend, my wish for you, today is that you are able to enjoy the journey that is your life. That you become quickly aware of wrong turns, detours, and potholes as your progress, and learn to navigate around them without unnecessary drama. 

00:02:39

[computer game level up music (short)] 

New Things. New Things. New Things!

I have four new things to share with you today! 

  1. First up is potholes. Yes, I said potholes. Do you live in an area that is prone to potholes? We live in eastern Pennsylvania and potholes are a given where I live. They are so commonplace that yes, you could find yourself in a discussion of something like this:  “Did that pothole get you on Main street today?” “Oh, I just missed it.”  “What about that one on so and so road?” --- someone overhears and joins in - “Whoa, THAT one is a doozy!” They’re a reality here. And we get used to them. Oh, we don’t like them and sometimes they’ll cause a flat tire but most of the time, they cause a bit of a scare or jolt the first time you notice a new one.  Depending on the size of it, you may remember it the next time you drive that road. Sooner or later, you just know it’s there and safely drive around it - at least I hope you do it safely.  If you happen to live in Pennsylvania, did you know that you can report potholes by calling 1-800-FIX-ROAD?  It’s true!

Anyway, this is me here and of course I’m using potholes as an analogy for your life. What potholes are in your life? 

Maybe you’re trying to avoid certain foods but there is one place that you go that tempts you too much. Or maybe it is a human in your life that seems to bring out a level of drama for you - or maybe even a behavior in you that you aren’t proud of. I’m not saying humans are potholes - but more of what situations - what happenings of your life feel like potholes. How do you react when you notice them? Do you notice them? Are you conscious enough in your thinking to consider that you may have seen this one before and it’s time to learn how to work around it - Yes, this is another great leveling up opportunity for your life.  I leave you with this - consider for your next frustrating moment in your life - try mentally labeling it (yeah, silently) as a pothole, and see if you can make a note on how you got there and possibly how to avoid it in the future. 

This may bring up more questions than answers but you know I like to do that. 

00:04:52

  1. My second new thing is that, oh my goodness, I had a 4-week gap between my last episode and this one and the world didn’t end. Not only did the world not end, but I’m having more fun and seeing more growth organically as a whole as I have time to invest in other areas online. I’m ready and excited to create this new episode. I’m not creating it because,”sigh, I have to - its got to come out on Friday.” I’m creating it because I want to  - mostly because I am here to serve you - my listener, and I want to give you the best energy that I have, and this right now, right here, this makes my heart happy. See? I’m enjoying the journey.

00:05:32

  1. My third new thing is that our daughter is back on campus! This is a really good thing for her. Of course, we miss her here at home but we are excited for her as she - oh my goodness - wraps up her undergraduate career. Here we go! [giggles]

00:05:48

  1. My fourth and final new thing is that I have only one spot open in February for 1:1 Private Coaching. The start date is February 15th. Yes, just one spot, so don’t wait to snag that spot if you want it. That’s six weeks of coaching over zoom, and through text. I share resources for you along the way and encourage you. I’d love to work with you. 

00:06:10

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Ask Coach Christine

I was recently asked this question: 

My child wants to move to an apartment close to their campus. They have all online classes. Why?

And my response?

I can guess why. You can guess why, but my recommendation would be to listen to their reasons why. Really Listen. Take deep breaths. And Listen. Don’t try to solve. Listen. You’re going to notice a theme in this episode today. [giggle] Most college-age students expected a certain level of freedom by now in their life and they may not be able to get that due to their current living situation. It might just be they fall into being YOUR child more than they fall into being who they are as a human, just because they're with people who have known their whole life as YOUR child. They may behave differently when they are with you than when they are on their own. They might just seek more privacy. They could wanna eat PB&J at 3 AM and not have anyone on their case. 

Financial matters aside, first is the emotional why. Getting to a place where you can have a conversation about it by, maybe, remembering how you felt at their age so that the financial part may be discussed (if need be) in a loving manner. 

So, was that answer vague enough to frustrate you? [giggle] Look, you love your child. Let that love shine through more than your fear of losing them. The fear will cause more of a rift in your relationship than love will. Always choose love. Choose being on their side. Consider that maybe this move might be healthy for everyone involved. 

Ultimately, you’ll need to do thought-work around this for yourself. And you also need to separate who you are from your role as your child’s parent, as i’s been up to now. Meaning, it’s changing. You don’t disappear when the role changes. The role changes, and you get to change with it. Change can be scary but it also can be good. You are still an incredible amazing human whether your child lives at home, lives on campus, out of state, or overseas - it just gets a bit scarier  - there’s less you can control and - yeah - sometimes it is scary to spend more time with yourself. I get it. I want you to know that you aren’t alone and you, my friend, are worth figuring out who you are and who you want to be going forward.

00:08:41

If you have a question you want me to focus on in an upcoming episode, use that google voice number 1-920-LIFEWIN. Leave a voicemail message or text your question to me. I consider all submissions.

00:08:55

[computer game level up music (short)] 

My Lessons Learned 

What have I learned recently? Look, I do have my sh*t together most of the time. Most days of the year, I wake up knowing what my plan is for the day, with a schedule, and even a buffer, yes, for things that took a little longer than I expected. I already know typically what my top three things for the day are for the day. I also usually spend some time in the morning setting myself up mentally for the day: reminding myself of what is important, checking my thoughts about things, and reviewing the day ahead. 

Well, over the last few weeks, I got a bit lazy. I had one day where I even skipped my morning routine completely to watch an episode of survivor. Super indulgent for me, and I didn’t feel guilty when I did it. But what I discovered later is how important those few minutes of my morning reset - how important they are for me. I found myself run by my protector on the days where I skipped those moments in the morning. Some days my protector really ran the show. Typically, those are the days when I lose my cool the fastest, or I feel others “pushing my buttons” so to speak all day long. 

So, my lesson learned for me personally is how much I really need that time in the day. And I believe that I- it’s okay for me to miss it in the morning - I’m not going to be miserable. But now I’m in tune with how much extra mental work I’ll need as I progress throughout the day.  Yes, I’m going to dig into that life’s toolbox a little more often on days like that. 

00:10:27

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine where are you? 

Clubhouse. Yes, I made it to Clubhouse and have been hosting (or moderating) rooms by myself and with others on topics such as: podcasting, decluttering, and morning resets and affirmations. If you are on Clubhouse, I invite you to follow me, and most of my sessions are at 7 - either 7AM or 7 PM EST. Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about? DM me on the socials and I’ll fill you in. I also have some invites. If I know we are aligned, I’m happy to send you an invite. 

An extra thing I’ve been doing on Clubhouse, TikTok and Instagram are these new 5-Minute encouragement bomb sessions where I pop in for five minutes to remind you how amazing you are. Never scheduled. As time allows and they’ve have been super fun -  highly energizing for me. 

As always, you may check out my Media & Press page on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com for a list of all of my guest appearances. 

00:11:40

[computer game level up music (short)]  

Celebrating You and Your Wins [sound] 

This was fun! I asked some of my TikTok friends if I could share some of the wins they shared with me, last week -  with you, and they all said, “YES!” You know how I love to celebrate both big AND small wins. Sometimes, the smaller the better because it is all progress, and it all counts!!!!

So here are wins that we are celebrating today: 

Sloppyspacefish shared, “I called the pharmacy today and found out that I can still get the covid vaccine while on my meds!”

Angel.Macarthur said, “I ate today!”

Layla.and.dabo shared, “I finished my timed AP english essay I was really stressed about!” 

Sundaymalkmus had a win: Going to an in real life dance class at 7! and yeah,  I followed up on - and they said it was “Great!”

And erienne.shwan shared, “I passed the quiz I barely studied for.” 

Thank you all for sharing your wins. I’m so proud of you. I’m cheering you on. Please give yourself a pat on the back, and thank you for letting me share your wins with my audience here. 

Now, my listener, don’t forget to share your win with us - you may send it to me in my DMs or use my google voice number, yes, in the show notes... We’d all love to hear you share your own win in your own voice, too. I’d love that. Who's gonna  be first? 

00:13:06

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What’s in your life’s toolbox? 

As a reminder, these are things that bring you joy, or allow you to reset yourself in life in one way or another. Some are escapes that allow you the grace to have time until you’re able to process deeper or to allow your mind a bit of time to recalculate to what’s next. Anything that brings me more into the “now” as Eckhart Tolle would say, works for me. Sometimes just laying on the floor and spending time with the cat is just what I need. What do you use for these moments? Yeah, I’m going to invite you to share with me - use that Google voice number. Can I say it again?

[whispers] Hey, use the Google voice number.

We’d love to know what you use because that benefits others.

You’re amazing!

00:13:52

[computer game level up music (short)] 

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others] 

Bernie Sanders memes. That’s all I have to say. 

00:13:59

[computer game level up music (short)] 

What I Wish My  Parents Knew

Parents, your children want to feel heard and listened to - not they talk at you while you are on your phone - or doing the dishes. No, they want to feel heard. They don’t need you to solve everything for them - let them ask for that. I recently had a comment on TikTok that was both sweet and heart-breaking, the gist of it was that I, me - Coach Christine  - I’m the only adult in this young person’s life that shows any sympathy for what they’re going through.  Whoo.

I’m not sharing this with you to have you spin into a state of guilt or shame. More to just consider that maybe you - and me - all of us - can listen to our children better. It's super easy for us, as adults, with all of our adult responsibilities to forget that our kids are having a tough time too. So, maybe ask your children this week, “Hey I really want to know how you are. Really. No, really. And I’m here to listen, not solve.” 

00:15:05

[happy music (short)] 

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Do you have potholes where you live? 

and Question 2:  So, will you check in with your children this week and make some time to really listen?

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this podcast please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, subscribe in your favorite podcast app!

Well, it is time for me to go and that means, yes, it’s time to remind you that you are amazing!

See ya!

0015:53

[bloopers]

00:16:04

Still listening? 

Come on, those Bernie memes. So good! And he’s so cool that he created meme merch that raised 1.8 million dollars for Vermont charities - and I love reading what the photographer had to say about the photo - that it captured one specific moment, he usually doesn’t love those types of photos but he liked his mittens. That’s some good stuff. And now I’m off to look for some more Bernie memes that I haven’t seen.

[end music]

[end]