The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 190
30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)
This is Your Work To Do is our topic for today (Day 23) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success.
If this is your first time listening, know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more!
Here we go:
Amazing human and beautiful soul, most of how I deliver content to you online goes against what is taught in online marketing courses. I have this core belief, now, that my message will reach those who need it when they are ready. Also, the more I create in an inspired fashion, the more those who need it will find me.
While over the last five years I have had some moments where, yes, I have fallen into the “traditional” way to market, I have spent the last 18 months or so deconstructing it. Following the content topics that I share with you and applying them to everything I do as well. Which means there has been a lot of letting go for me, a fair amount of breaks to reset myself and the reminder of why I originally started this all.
The beauty in believing that those who are looking for my content will find it, means I also strongly believe that if someone isn’t aligned with what I share, that’s all good - there are so many humans in this beautifully diverse world delivering similar messages in their own unique ways.
You may be wondering, “What does this have to do with today’s topic?”
It has everything to do with it.
When I say “This is your work to do.” I have two meanings there.
The first one is to Of COURSE, trust your gut, your instincts, your inner guidance, God, the Universe- whatever label you choose to use.
Beautiful human, whether you are starting a blog, trying a new career, or hobby, planning a dinner or a vacation, there are plenty of other humans who are happy to provide assistance to you - often with a cost - (and sometimes, whether you ask for it or not).
This is wonderful when you know what you are looking for and find it. But, if you haven’t yet done some mental decluttering it is easy to be led by other people’s idea of what is best for you. When you know what resonates with your soul and find those who match up with it - wow - so much fun.
The more you are able to declutter your thought-box-deliveries, train Your Protector and live the Conscious Effective Olympian life, the easier this all becomes.
You may be wondering why I waited until episode 23 of this challenge to share this topic.
It’s a fair point but it was done consciously. First of all, if you’ve started from day 1 and are continuing to work through this, you more than likely feel aligned with these topics, and may have even begun trying some of them.
Imagine if I had opened with this topic.
Most humans aren’t even close to being ready to consider that they know what is best for themselves - that feels overwhelming - and when I tell them they might have an internal guidance system they’re just like, “yeah, right.”
Until we, as humans, begin to realize how powerful our thoughts are and that they are optional, it is practically impossible to consider that we might have our own internal guidance system. You may have noticed that I interchange the words internal guidance system, inner guidance, inner selves and your internal GPS often - please call this whatever you like and what resonates best with you.
You might want to call it your gut or your soul. Whatever you choose to label it, you may reach a point where you feel promptings, you begin to “get” and feel led on what you need or want to do next. You may even be shocked to find that eventually the need to share your plans and ideas with others is diminished - After all, itt is a rare human who will show up for you (for us, in general) without their own thought-box deliveries that come into the mix.
Over time, you’ll begin to notice where you start to detour off into other people’s ideas of what you “should do” and eventually you will learn which of these deliveries belong permanently outside of your fence.
Keep in mind that others mean no harm: They have their own inner guidance which may not be available to them - or they may have some clarity on their own internal guidance but at the end of the day it is THEIR experience and THEIR guidance, not yours.
Consciously choosing to ask someone you trust or you know has more life experience than you, for their feedback so that you can then do what you will with it is a much better place than continually allowing other people’s thought-box-deliveries to clutter your space.
If your choices and actions don’t impact them directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously.
When you have time to review interactions, ask yourself: How does what they are sharing with you make you feel? And then tune into those things.
This isn’t supposed to be stressful either. You are where you are. Personally, I’ve found most days I get a laugh or two out of it. Not all days - I’m still human, but I don’t dwell on these interactions as much when I catch myself in the reaction mode.
I take stock, see what I’ve learned and move on - looking for something that brings me joy, fun or laughter.
Some days I’m better at this than others.
Let’s return to our ever-building analogy.
Try this one: Imagine that you install an intercom system outside of your fence. When someone arrives at your fence and immediately starts talking into the intercom, rather than immediately giving them your full attention, what if you pay attention to how what they are saying is making you feel?
Does it resonate with you? Does it apply to you? Did you ask for it? And come up with your own questions, too.
If you find what they’re sharing isn’t beneficial to you, it’s time to train Your Protector to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” In real life, this can look like diverting a conversation topic, excusing yourself, or something else.
This all may sound like a lot but when you understand that everything you choose to allow within your fence takes up your resources that could be spent on things that bring you joy, why WHY would you give it any more mental real estate than it deserves?
The energy or vibration in your thoughts, in your body, and around you should be protected.
Every single time that you focus on yourself in the decision making; in the “what should I do next?” and you begin to learn to trust what does work / what doesn't work… you learn a bit more about yourself. Be curious about what your gut feeling is telling you - and continue to learn from it.
Start with a few inconsequential topics and go from there.
Have you popped over to a thought like, “so, Christine, are you telling me that I don’t have to listen to anyone ever?”. Maybe that’s what you are hearing but it is not what I’m saying. This is life. There are loved ones, colleagues, and strangers who may share things that weren’t on our mind - and we choose to show up with the space to listen and support, because that feels good to do.
Pay attention to your why in those moments. People can feel that. Are you doing this because of habit? People feel that. Are you doing this because you are supposed to, to be polite. Notice your emotions, and don’t be afraid to change the subject.
Let’s think about your to-do list in life … and your “WORK.”
Really, truly, at the end of the day, there aren't many things in life that you HAVE to do. Look around and you’ll find someone who doesn’t do the thing you think you have to do and somehow they are still getting by - maybe it’s not in a way that looks good or appropriate to you - or fun- or exciting but that is where you get to design your life going forward - and when this is done consciously - it becomes an adventure.
Pay attention to the things that you wish you could do, but you feel like you can’t. Then search out and seek out people who are doing it. What’s their life look like? Have fun with this!
In wrapping up the first meaning of “this is your work to do”, is to say that discovering your own plan of work is powerful. Take a look at your to-do list. Clean it up. Make it smaller. Maybe pick up the book that you are drawn to but feels a bit intimidating because no one else you know is reading that. Try things, learn things about you and have so much fun! Look for the fun.
The second meaning of “This is Your Work to do, “ is that this isn’t something that because it resonates with you, you need to relay it and force upon everyone else in your life. Yes, you may experience some super fun aha moments, some amazing changes in your own life, and that is incredible!
Others may celebrate with you but they also may be confused as you holy cow, are you showing up differently. If they ask, sure, tell them but be considerate that most of us resonate with concepts when we are ready for them and when we are seeking them. This applies to everything really. Just because your inner self is ready doesn’t mean those around you will be too. You might even annoy them.
Additionally, if you’ve made changes that work for you, it doesn’t mean it will work for others. You don’t know what is in their fence and in their house. Sometimes, we as humans are in fire fighting mode and someone who is happy simply annoys us. I’m willing to bet there are points in your life where you’ve been there and can understand this. The best thing you can do is do these activities for yourself so that you can be brighter, clearer, and more effective in all that you do. And if someone does ask, share what feels right. But ultimately, have fun getting to know yourself better! That’s what this is all about.
A final note, I did use the word “work” in this episode and title and that is because it is one that resonates with most people. That being said, I actively try not to use the word “work” in my own daily life. Joyous investment in my evolution is my personal go to phrase but I’m gonna keep it simple for this challenge. If you want to learn more about why I’ve chosen not to use the word work in my life, listen to episode 157 in season 1 of my podcast!
Your journal prompt for today is … Write about a time when you trusted your intuition or inner voice despite it not being aligned with others - and it led, still, to a positive outcome.
[exit music - upbeat]
Thanks for listening today, remember this is your work to do, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing!
Chat next time!