97: Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter

97: Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

When you do the work on yourself, when you train your protector well, it becomes apparent what you need to do and when you need to do it - and that includes speaking up for others.

In this episode, I share my thoughts on why I did this episode, my thoughts on black lives matter, and I bring to your ears three beautiful voices.

Do you want to skip my section entirely? Jump to the 07:52 minute marker. 💚

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Black lives matter is a freaking cry for equality. It isn’t about taking anything away from others; it’s a cry for someone (those who have the power to do something) to listen and to take action."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Guests

Allyssa Jones

Composer. Performer. Educator.

Allyssa shares her song, "Change the World" with us.

Valerie Albarda

Midlife-A-Go-Go

Valerie shares her thoughts on being a black woman in America.

Tiana Morton

Teacher, social justice and equality advocate, and mother to a black boy in America

Tiana shares with us a letter to her son.

New Episode! 🎙No empty nest talk today.  💚 Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter - thanks to my guests  @MidlifeAGoGo  Tiana Morton and @msallyssajones  for sharing your voice with us #newepisode #podcast #podcaster

Click to Tweet

Episode Resources & Places to Start

Change the World:

from the EP After Hours by Allyssa Jones released May 26, 2016

Produced by The Audio Outfit

Written by Khalel Pritchard, Apollo Payton, & Jahmal White 

Background Vocals: Allyssa Jones & Khalel Pritchard

Additional Vocals: Apollo Payton

Bass: James Gurrier

Arranged by Jahmal White

Mixed by Andy Pinkham

Recorded by Apollo Payton at Levels Studio (Boston, MA)

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 97 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


[Music: Change the World Intro: Allyssa Jones]

Christine: You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast  with Coach Christine - Episode #97  Eight Minutes and 46 Seconds: Why Black Lives Matter

00:12

Hello, my beautiful friend! 

Normally on this podcast I share coaching tips for women freaking out about the empty nest ahead. This is my gift, my passion and what I do, but today, this episode is not about empty nesting, it is about the current happenings in this world. You can choose to think this is a political episode and walk away right now. I can’t change that and I won’t let someone’s potential thoughts about me impact who I show up as today on my platform - the platform that I have created. Also, if you decide that what I am speaking about means anything other than what I say in this episode - that is your thought about me. And, yes, your thoughts about me are outside of my fence. 

00:56

The information in this episode is not sugar coated and contains sensitive content. I will leave it at that and you do what you will. Links to everything I mention in this episode will be available in my show notes. 

The Black Lives Matter movement isn’t political. It is human. 

1:14

Nothing I teach is meant for you as an excuse to take no action. Actually quite the opposite - I’m all about momentum in your life. Simmering isn’t inaction. Simmering is providing yourself the space to figure out what action to take. I can’t control you - and wouldn’t want to - I coach on how you can consciously work your way to the best action for you and future you. The action you take is ALWAYS within your control. The action YOU take isn’t due to what someone else does or says - it is purely on what goes on in your head based on your life’s happenings. So make sure, my friend, that you actually choose something. 

02:01

For me, I’ve seen the happenings outside my fence, recently, and over my lifetime that have caused me anguish. I’ve felt sadness (still do), I’ve felt anger (still do). And now, through the work in my life, I consciously notice the thoughts and the feelings, I’m not on autopilot anymore and I’m choosing not to allow the happenings outside of my fence to keep me quiet. 

I’ve done the self-coaching work to move my emotions around to love. Love is more powerful for ME. Love contains hope for me, and I love my fellow humans. My way of taking action may not look like yours. I won’t spend my time and energy on worrying about what you do with this message - that is for you to figure out - I’m choosing to spend my time in love. 

02:48

Love drove me, this week, to un whitewash my instagram feed this week. I’m ashamed but my feed looked a lot like the high school I attended. It still does, but I’m working to correct that - for those who graciously allow me to follow them. 

Love drove me to listen and find ways to support the cause outside of protesting - until I can there are other ways to help - one example is you can support  campaign zero The comprehensive platform of research-based policy solutions to end police brutality in America. Sure you can donate money but you can also donate your time and help them with research - what better way to educate yourself? 

03:27

Love drove me to create this episode:

Why Black Lives Matter? 

The sad truth is that black lives have continually been shown through actions of others that their lives don’t matter.

When a man begs for his life in a public lynching - he was executed without a legal trial - in the streets of Minneapolis in 2020 and the murderer and those participating in his murder were initially protected by not being charged with a crime (law enforcement officer or not) - this shows that black lives don’t matter.

04:03

When a white woman who is asked by a bird-watching black man to put her dog on a leash to follow local ordinances decides to call the cops on him and chooses to blatantly lie that he is attacking her knowing that her word will be taken over his - In this, we show that black lives don’t matter. 

When we as a society do nothing about the lives that are taken for a human being simply doing human things we show that black lives don’t matter.  

When we see that a community is dying at a higher rate from COVID-19 and we do nothing, we show that black lives don’t matter.

04:42

Continually shutting down peaceful protests; tear gassing men, women, and children shows that black lives don’t matter. 

Gaslighting those who know what they stand for, KNOW what they are marching for and telling them that no, what you are marching for is really something else entirely - you are encouraging these things. We show that black voices don’t matter. 

05:05

Black lives matter is a freaking cry for equality. It isn’t about taking anything away from others, it’s a cry for someone, those who have the power to do something to listen and to take action. 

I’ll be honest I can’t stomach watching the video of George Floyd’s murder- personally, I can’t imagine that anyone could watch it - in part or in full without wanting justice.

I am a mother, and when I see George Floyd on the ground in the glimpses of video and photos, I see a man begging for his life. I also see four awful law enforcement officers treating him like gum on their shoe. I clearly see a message that black lives don’t matter. 

05:48

[sighs] It breaks my heart the reality that black mothers have - they have to teach their children (boys AND girls) how to respond properly to a police officer in order to make it home alive - I don’t know about you but I didn’t have that lesson in my home. 

The fear that black parents have for their children and our lack of concern over it - that shows that black lives don’t matter. 

06:16

How well, my friend, do you do when no one listens to you? When you try everything possible to get someone to hear you and no one listens. Better yet, they tell you, “stop being so loud and angry.” Yeah, that feels good doesn’t it? 

I am happy to report that over the last few days while I assembled this episode that protests have happened in all fifty states and that all four officers involved in the murder of George Floyd have been charged. 

This is progress. But we aren’t done. We need a world where it doesn’t take more than a week of protests in all fifty states to see the beginning of justice. 

06:50 

Keep in mind, too, watch the media and you’ll think that all protestors loot and riot - watch the media and you think that all cops are bad. Search out the Flint, Michigan moments and use those to drive you forward. There is a lot more peace in the world than we are shown in the media.

And, please, don’t forget to vote. Many law enforcement roles are brought in at a local level - if you can vote, use your voice there, and look at the system and who it benefits. 

I won't begin to pretend that I have always done well with this - I know I haven’t - and for that I am sorry. I still have a lot to learn but I am done not using my voice. I am here to serve - even when stumbling. 

07:39

As a side note, and an important one, If you are okay with what happened to George Floyd, please don’t bother purchasing my offerings - my membership group - it is a safe space for ALL. 

07:52

My amazing listener, I invite you now to hear the two beautiful voices of Valerie Alberta and Tiana Morton who have agreed to share thoughts they shared with us on Instagram this week - thoughts that I feel needs to be heard. Tiana is a teacher, social justice and equality advocate and mother to a black boy in America. 

Valerie is the host of [the] Midlife-A-Go-Go podcast - if you remember, she and I had a lovely conversation on her podcast in March. She’s absolutely lovely, I only wish we had our conversation in person. 

I also welcome the incredibly talented Allyssa Jones who graciously shares her song, Change the World with us. Friends in high school, Allyssa and I were also roommates one summer when we both worked at Busch Gardens Williamsburg - same stage different show - how cool is that? She’s unfathomably talented. As a singer with only a small percentage of the talent that Allyssa has, I’ve always been incredibly inspired by her. Allyssa has multiple albums available and one of my favorite songs of hers is 14 Jeans from her album 35 - definitely give that song and all of her songs a listen - oh and she has a FAB podcast titled That Spinster Life where she shares leaps of faith with the world.

09:12

I ask you to take the opportunity to support these women as they share their gifts with the world. 

I will now explain how the next segment of this episode will arrive in your ears, at the sound of the first breath, it will represent when four officers began to end the life of George Floyd by Derek Chauvin placing his knee on the neck of George Floyd. The remainder of this episode will be the amount of time that police officer Derek Chauvin kept his knee on George Floyd’s neck: eight minutes and 46 seconds. Eight minutes and 46 seconds according to a NY Times article - which I have linked yes, in my show notes. Even after George Floyd lost consciousness, Derek Chauvin did not remove his knee. 

10:00

Eight minutes and 46 seconds is how long FOUR officers involved in George Floyd’s arrest chose to ignore the man on the ground who told them that he couldn’t breathe, and allowing his life to be expired. The initial fallout for the police officers? Fired - not charged for anything. 

This is why we need to be reminded that BLACK LIVES MATTER. 

10:26

During the next eight minutes and 46 seconds of this podcast, I will read the names of some other victims between what Tiana, Valerie and Allyssa have shared with us, today. Please know that the list of victims that I read to you is only a partial list, and that Allyssa’s song will be cut off when Derek Chauvin finally decided to remove his knee.

I will censor the f word - only because it limits who will listen to this podcast, but to be perfectly frank with you, if I were in person with these beautiful ladies I’d have absolutely no problem with it because to be honest, it is warranted. Thank you to Tiana, Valerie, and Allyssa for sharing your voices with us today.  

This next segment my friend is why we need to be reminded that Black Lives Matter. I ask that you listen to it in full without speeding up the audio. 

Thank you.

11:23

George Floyd, 46 2020

[Breathe]

11:28

Valerie: I’m a black woman in America. I have black nephews in America. Ask me what really scares me.

I have two nephews. One is in his thirties, the other is nine years old. In fact, he just turned nine, two weeks ago.  I fear for both of them. Let me repeat that. I FEAR FOR BOTH OF THEM. In this day, this year, this decade, this world … the life of a black person seems to count for so little. That seems especially true for a black man. But really . . . this is about being black in America.

In the midst of a pandemic, we’re dealing with stuff that should have been squashed DECADES ago. Anyone who thinks racism doesn’t exist in this country has their head firmly stuck in the sand. If that’s you, I hope you’re enjoying the view. My view is different.

12:32

As a black woman, I see the looks. I hear the words whispered under breaths. I could get angry. Shit, I DO get angry. But I won’t be baited into being the angry black woman that society has painted me and other women out to be. But you know what? We have a right to be angry. We have a right to raise our voices – either alone or as a collective – because what’s happening to us is appalling. And I’m scared.

I’m scared that, one of these days, I’ll be pumping gas and I’ll be assaulted because of the color of my skin. Or I’ll be stopped by the police as I drive down the street in my little red convertible, knowing that even if I’m respectful, say “Yes, ma’am” or “Yes sir,” keep my hands on the steering wheel, show my credentials, do everything right, I could still become a victim. And please, if you’re not a black or brown person, don’t say, “But that could happen to anyone regardless of their race.” Not now. Not today.

This is what it’s like to be black in America. I’m afraid for my nephews. And for myself. And for my family. And for every other black and brown person in this country. My fear is palpable. How long must we be afraid to leave our homes? How f***ing long?

14:04

[Breath]

Christine: Breonna Taylor, 26 years old, 2020

[Breath]

Trayvon Martin, 17 years old, 2012

14:20

Tiana:  To my black son,

When I look at you, I see how beautiful you are. I know that you are incredibly sweet and thoughtful. I know that you are willing to extend generosity and grace to everyone, even when they are less deserving. I’ve watched your smile and energy light up an entire room. I’ve watched your tears flow and your head hang low, when you see a homeless person or someone in need. I’ve witnessed you in deep thought, figuring out how you can make a difference in the lives of those around you. I know just

how much physical confrontation scares you and how you run home because you know where your safe place is. As your mom, I want to protect you from life’s heartbreaks, but there is one thing I cannot protect you from, the one thing I fear most. As a mother of a black son in America, I wish I didn’t have to strip you of your innocence at such young age. I wish that our reality wasn’t sitting in our living after dinner, rehearsing different scenarios and training you on how to make it back home alive after an

encounter with police, all while wiping your tears because you can’t fully understand. I wish I could protect you from how the world sees you. I often think, what happens when “Wow! He’s only ten? He is big for is age!” turns into “That’s one big ass black dude!” What happens when the son I know becomes the “threat” that they don’t? What happens when you can no longer run home? Every day I let you walk out that front door, I pray that I have given you the skills to handle any situation you encounter. The

lessons will change as you grow. But what else can I teach you right now because your blackness with NEVER change, but will ALWAYS be challenged? The best I can do is fight to change that always to never.

Son, until I can honestly say “Your blackness will never change and NEVER be challenged.”, I will fight for you. I will fight for us.

16:26

I want you to know that you are not less than, your blackness is not a crime. Your blackness is worthy, your blackness is beautiful, your blackness is powerful, regardless of what this world tells you.

I will fight for you; I will fight for us.

Love you most,

Mom

16:46

[Breath]

Christine: Tamir Rice, 12 years old , 2014

[Breath]

Eric Garner, 43, 2014

[Breath]

[Breath]

17:03

[Music: Change the World, Allyssa Jones]

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wrapping up the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I share about the importance of a well-curated toolbox. For best results, your CEO toolbox must contain resources chosen specifically for you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids - if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Is the toolbox for your life well stocked? Do you have the band-aids and the cures inside?  Take a listen to this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast!  💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #lifetoolbox #emptynestcoach

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Your Foundational Level Items
  • To Begin to Fill Your Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) Toolbox
  • To Periodically Inventory Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Consider Drawing a Picture of Your Toolbox

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How is the inventory in your CEO Toolbox? 
  2. Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 96 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox of your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast in this episode, making this episode a bit more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through. 

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take an opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course, I will always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 96 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P96) I can’t wait to hear from you! [Music]

00:01:54

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:37

It’s time to wrap-up this series: the Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox series of episodes. We’ve discussed why consciously having a toolbox is helpful in your life. We’ve discussed what to store in that top, removable tray,of your toolbox, and we are working now on those tools that you always want with you, those that are in the base level, or foundational-level of your toolbox. Your CEO toolbox is for you to stock, so ultimately what you put inside is completely up to you. The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids, if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you.

00:03:27

In my foundational-level, of my toolbox, I have presence, the CEO Analysis Tool, Flock Support, and in the rest of the space, other items that work specifically for me. I want you to spend time figuring out what works best for you. We all have different strengths, different gifts, and different ways in which we learn best, so me prescribing items to put in your foundational-level, may make you throw the whole thing out if one item doesn’t work for you. I don’t want to be a part of that possibility for you. 

00:04:02 

Again, this is your toolbox, so stock it with what moves you forward. What serves as band-aids for you? What helps you repair moments, and what moves you closer toward the best version of future-you possible? For me, one of the other items that I have in my foundational-level is my life’s purpose statement. This changes over time, but it is a statement that I say to myself daily, to remind me who future-me is, and why I do what I do. I’ve found that having this statement allows me to be in the right energy for moving forward, for working on myself, for doing daily tasks that otherwise may not be extremely compelling to partake in.

00:04:45

My purpose statement reminds me of who I am. It is written in the present tense and I have modified it countless times to get it to where it is today. It is a continual work in progress. Consider a purpose statement for your life. If you are a GPS Support Flock member, I’m happy to review your purpose statement for you, and give you pointers on how to make it more powerful. If you like the idea of a purpose statement try using one. 

00:05:13

How about journaling? Do you like it? Do you love it? Does it serve a purpose for your life? Morning pages, a bullet journal or whatever format works for you. Be sure it assists you in moving forward, if you’re allowing it to take up space in your life. How about a vision board? Be sure that when you spend time with your vision board that it creates a momentum in your life, rather than creating an awareness of what you currently lack to get to those visions. Does that make sense?  We always want you moving forward. How does that vision board make you feel? 

00:05:46

Maybe for you,  you spend time alone once a year to work on yourself, be it mentally, emotionally or physically, or just being. There is a tremendous amount of power in that. There are no rules, my friend, on what needs to go in your foundational space. If you have no idea where to start, just pick two things. More than a handful of items and you may not know what to use when, but again, this is your toolbox, so you make it what you need it to be. Take inventory periodically of what is in your toolbox, as there are times when tools and resources serve our lives really well, but then, only for a season. Those seasonal items should be cleared out periodically. You may bring them back, but don’t force an item into your box because it appears to work for your best friend. Find what works for you.

00:06:36

If you are the type of person that needs me to give you direction, well then, try having three go-to items in your top-tray of your toolbox and choose two to focus on for your foundational-level, then modify from there. Consider drawing a picture of your toolbox. Label it and picture it in your mind clearly, so that when you feel you need help, you may quickly picture your options, rather than spinning into a frenzy of emotion. Let’s be honest, you may still choose the frenzy of emotion, but consciously choosing it and letting it run you, are different states of energy in your life.  Which do you prefer?

00:07:13

With that, we’ll keep this episode at a high-level and wrap it up, because I’d like to know what sorts of things help you dig deeper within yourself. What helps you to move forward? Do you have anything as of yet? How well stocked is your toolbox, my empty nest friend? 

Of course, we do dive deep into these concepts in our GPS Support Flock Membership with a workshop, worksheets and more. We’d love to have you join us and the flock can slide right into the bottom of your toolbox! [Music]

00:07:43

Two formal questions I have for you in this episode are: How is the inventory in your CEO toolbox? Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox? Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities, and share your answers to these questions with us. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:08:08

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? I visited with Amy Waterman in January. She and I chatted over video. That’s right, you won’t find this conversation on a podcast. You’ll find it on Amy’s website: YourBrilliance.com, or on her YouTube Channel Your Brilliance TV. The title of our talk? “Empty Nest Tips for Rediscovering Yourself with Coach Christine.” Amy is absolutely lovely. I encourage you to check out all of her interviews as soon as you have a chance.

00:08:48

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all. As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Guess what? You are amazing! See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

95: Quick Tips Team: More Than Three Minutes of Planning, Shoes, Whales and Shampooing Through Lockdown Loneliness

95: Quick Tips Team: More Than Three Minutes of Planning, Shoes, Whales and Shampooing Through Lockdown Loneliness

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

We are back with another Quick Tips episode with some 2020 Your Empty Nest Coach Quick Tips Team members and a special guest. Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast, I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast either through SpeakPipe or by calling (or texting) my Google Voice number.. Happy recording, friend!" 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Check out this episode of the Your @emptynestcoach podcast 💚 featuring quick tips from @DClutterDeirdre @MagnifMidlife @ThePlannerFreak @goodgirlstalk & others! #emptynest #EmptyNestMom #ListeningTo#QuickTips #Advice ➡️ 

Click to Tweet

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 95 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

Christine: It is time for a Quick Tips Tuesday episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast. I am your host, Coach Christine, and this is episode #95  of my podcast. 

[Music: Intro]

00:10

I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time? Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:47

If this is your first time listening, I invite you to check out my Friday episodes, as well, where I provide bite-sized coaching assistance to guide you along your empty nest transition years - should your nest be not quite as empty as you expected it to be, be sure to check out my twelve episode Not-So-Empty-Nest series that was produced during the start of my social distancing. I hope you and your family are healthy and safe, and that yes, even now, in a world of restrictions, that you discover how amazing you are and find excitement at a level you didn’t know is possible for your years ahead. 

00:01:21

A reminder that a list of all of the Quick Tips Team members and their contact information may be found on my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com - look for the Quick Tips Team button  - or menu - on the home page. 

If you have a quick tip to share with listeners of this podcast, I would LOVE to share it with them! See this episode’s show notes for a link to record your audio submission for this podcast either through SpeakPipe or by calling (or texting) my Google Voice number.. Happy recording, friend!

01:50

But, Christine, where are the show notes? Well, that might help you, huh? You’ll find those in the description of this episode - on Apple Podcasts click, “Details”; on Spotify, Click “See More,”: on Overcast press the I for information - button - Get the idea? 

Or, of course, visit my website for full show notes with links to everything we discuss in this episode and a full episode transcription - those reside at your empty nest coach dot com forward slash p for podcast and 95 (for this episode’s number). I can’t wait to hear from you.

02:23

[Music: Sponsor Music] 

Thanks! Thank you. It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest, our GPS Life Principles document - you will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode’s show notes, or fly on over to my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button. See you there! 

03:09

First up today is Jo Davies our Humorous Observations expert: 

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Jo: So we all know Christine is an authority on the whole ‘back to college thing’, and for me, this whole lockdown feels a bit being back at school. You’re forced to be somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be. I mean, I love my home, but I don't want to be in it all the time and somehow being made to stay at home feels completely different from just choosing to stay at home.

Have to spend all day everyday with the same people. This was a good thing for me at school because I loved my friends, and thankfully I love my family so happy to get to spend this time with them.

You do sports every day: to try and stay fit and also because it's actually a fun thing for us all to do together and gets us outside if we’ve been in for too long.

We seem to be learning something everyday. Not necessarily maths and English, but patience and calm and also in my case that after 10 loaves, I still can't make a baguette. I’ve also learnt that if you live off cake mix and then cake, you will get fat....who knew? My kids have learnt that if you leave things on the top of the dishwasher they won't get clean and that the same applies to leaving washing on the floor by the washing machine.

I have learnt that Duolingo thinks that I am 6% Spanish, but no one else does and that 6% is about as Spanish as I’m gonna get.

04:19

I have learnt that Zoom feels like magic and the best invention ever for about 2 goes and then it turns into the worst TV show ever.

The other thing that reminds me of the school is that there are cheats. There are people that feel the rules don't apply to them and there are some that bend them and some who go so far as to break them completely: visiting friends, driving to parks, to going for a walk, getting together in groups. And just like in school, I seethe on the inside, anger bubbling just below the surface and my 15-year-old’s desire to be cool and liked and appear laid back resurfaces and I just smile and say ‘whatever’.

I am looking forward to the school holidays. To being able to go out and do whatever I want to do when I want to do it. I feel myself turning into a teenage rebel and in some weird role reversal, I fear it will be my children who restrict my movements as they try and keep their ‘ageing parents’ (Their words, not mine) safe from whatever comes next.

05:09

[Music: Guest Intro]  

Rachel: Hello! Rachel Lankester here, midlife mentor from MagnificentMidlife.com. My top tip today is to be a bit more whale. There are two creatures that go through menopause: human females and whales. When whales go through menopause, they become the leaders of their pods. Often, for fifty odd years! We can also be more useful to our communities as leaders than as breeders. 

05:41

[Music: Guest Exit]  

Susan: Susan Stevens here with your beauty tip. Do I need to swap shampoo with the seasons? In the summer your hair has to defend itself against more enemies, such as the sun, sea salt, excess sweat, and chlorine, so switching to a gentler shampoo can help to keep your hair soft without stripping it of its natural oils. Especially at this time when essential workers are shampooing and cleansing more often, you definitely want to use a more mild shampoo, and definitely lots of conditioning. A Little Roomie for Your Soul: “Surrender. If you are a seeker of union, find your place in the heart of nothingness. While still in the cage of your being, behold the spirit bird before it flies away. Since you were once drunk on eternity, pick up the sword of now, and strike the ego. Remove the dregs of separation. 

Become pure so the cup of  true reality can be filled with the pure wine of spirit.

06:37 

[Music: Guest Exit]

Christine: Susan just shared an excerpt from the book Rumi’s Little Book of Life: The Garden of the Soul, the Heart, and the Spirit. I will put a link to it into my show notes. Thanks, Susan! 

06:50

[Music: Guest Intro]

Gretchen: Hi. This is Gretchen Hoffmann, your Planner Freak. Today I just wanted to take a minute to share a really cool planning technique that I heard about recently from an old college friend. My friend Joan and her husband recently moved to New York City after selling the home where they had raised their children. Both of their kids are all grown up and now like so many of us they’re Empty Nesters. She and her husband Robert decided they wanted to spend a few years soaking up city life before they decided on their next move. Now, Joan has always been one of the most organized women I know. She is never late for an appointment, she never forgets a birthday, she has enough time for work, travel, exercise, and to spend with her family and friends. She really is Amazing!

07:39

You know what the most amazing part to me is, though? In  spite of everything she has on her plate she never seems frazzled, she always seems in control. She’s fantastic!  I, on the other hand, sometimes seem to be chasing my own tail because, although I am a good multitasker, it’s often difficult for me to stick with my main priorities for the day. Because of this, I am absolutely fascinated by how people do organize and plan their days. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, and helping people to plan their days. 

08:10

I  recently asked Joan what her trick was and I was actually surprised by how simple it was. She told me she keeps a paper planner on her desk where she writes everything down that she has to do and then she schedules everything on its own specific day. Then, here’s the important part, every morning she picks out the three main things she needs to accomplish that day. It can be personal or work related but she always keeps it to three. These are her key action items and she assigns them numbers in her mind … one, two and three. Simple enough, right? Then as she goes through her day and completes each of the three items, she mentally checks off that number in her head. So once number one is done she moves on to number two -. You get the gist. This technique allows her to concentrate only on her most important tasks and it really gives her a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. Anything else she gets done that day is icing on the cake. But the really great part is she rarely has to move priority items from one day to the next in her planner. I feel like I am always moving one or two items at the end of the day to the next day’s schedule. Now I’m wondering if any of you have ever tried this technique and if it worked as well for you. Remember, “Plan your day, Love your day!’

09:25

[Music: Guest Intro]

Jenn: Hi, this is Jenn Musselman, your wardrobe/closet coach and I’m here for your next tip. The tip is shoes: shoes always, always, always set the tone for your outfit. Let’s think about it, I’m going to give you two pretty extreme different examples but keeping in mind the shoes, think of a nun, and think of a showgirl or a Rockette. Shoes make the outfit. I know, these are a little bit extreme examples, but it is true. So, think about wearing your favorite basic chunky sweater and your favorite pair of jeans, but pair it with a really cute glittery flat, a glitzy flat, a fun pair of funky converse sneakers. Shoes set the tone for the outfit. It’s the best accessory you can have. That’s my tip for today. 

[Music: Guest Intro] 

10:24

Deirdre: Hi, it’s Deirdre from DeClutter By Deirdre and the Magnificent Aging podcast. My hint for this month is banish loneliness. Call someone at least every other day. Go out into the world, and talk to people, Join a club: they have boating clubs, gardening clubs, card playing clubs, square dancing clubs - pick an interest and get involved. Get out there. Make it a point to engage with people. You won’t want to declutter if you’re lonely. Make some friends, engage people that you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. 

11:12

{Music: Guest outro]

Christine: So, I bet you can guess that Deirdre sent me this wonderful tip, pre-pandemic. She’s way on top of things, but her advice still stands. Sure, the groups may be online but the advice is great! You can research clubs to join now and see what they offer virtually. You can call others or meet with them online - this is a great time to meet others virtually in an area of interest. Let us know if you come up with a unique idea here, too.

And next up is Katherine, the 5 Kilo Traveler - another wonderful human who sent me her tip, pre-pandemic, so the focus is on flying and how to pack light when flying. This is a great opportunity to make plans for lighter travel for when we are able to do so again. So, as you listen, think how you will travel in the future. 

 12:05

[Music: Guest intro]

Katherine: My last tip was to take less and to achieve this with a mix and match wardrobe - and I mentioned travelling to New York in winter and wearing layers. Quite surprisingly I did go to New York with just 5 kilos (11 pounds ) of gear. How, you may ask? Well, I wore my heavy and bulky gear on the plane, and that’s my tip for today – when flying wear your bulky and heavy clothing (not that anything is overly heavy in my bag).

Now I’m not talking about wearing a big coat and filling the pockets with everything in your bag –although there are coats out there for this purpose – personally, I can’t think of anything worse. I’d look like the Michelin Man – ridiculous!

12:54

So my trick is I wear my heavier and bulkier gear. I wore my boots on the plane as they take up so much room in my small bag – and I didn’t really take them off the whole time I was in New York. I wore my long and thickest socks on the plane too.

My long wool coat I carried and used as a blanket on the plane, which was just luxurious. I wore my pashmina too – and I so pleased I did as the plane temperature cools down on long-haul flights – I guess so you can sleep – but I was nice and toasty warm. My puffer jacket packs down quite small in my pack but I actually use it to wrap it round my neck as a travel pillow while flying – I go for practicality over fashion when flying for 16 hours from NZ.

I also wear a lot of merino or smartwool. It’s great for planes because it keeps you warm but you don’t overheat with it. I’ll tell you more about merino in my next tip session. So, yes, wearing your heavy and bulkier gear on planes will reduce the weight of your carry on bag. Have you given it a go yet? Happy light travels!

14:05

[Music: Guest outro]

Christine: Thanks Katherine. Next up is a guest submission who is back for a second time - the amazing Leah Carey. Enjoy..

[Music: Guest intro]

Leah:  Hi! I’m Leah Carey from the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast. If you want a different kind of touch from your partner but you’re not sure how to ask for it without hurting their feelings, try the Three Minute game. It’s easy, quick, and fun!

Have your partner lay down. Tell them that you are going to touch them any way

that they desire for three minutes and their only job is to tell you what they want,

then lay back and enjoy receiving it. Ask them, “How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” Start a timer for three minutes and do EXACTLY the thing they asked for. If they ask you to change the touch, do what they ask, but resist the urge to do ANYTHING other than what they’ve asked for – don’t get fancy!

When the alarm goes off, switch places and repeat. Now, your partner asks you,

“How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” And this is where you describe to them EXACTLY the kind of touch you would like.

I suggest the first few times you play, you keep it PG or PG-13, and leave the R rated sessions for once you’ve both gotten really comfortable clearly asking for what you want.  And then, if you like what you get, give them lots of positive reinforcement. Say later that night, “I loved the way you touched me earlier.” The next day, you could say, “I’m still thinking about the way you touched me yesterday.” And then the next time you’re getting frisky say, “Remember the way you touched me during the Three Minute Game? Would you do that again?” And don’t forget :they’ve now given YOU exact directions for what they enjoy, so use them! Here’s to your better sex life!

16:25

[Music: Guest intro]

Christine: Thanks for visiting with us again, Leah, my listener if you like what you just heard, Leah has a podcast created with so much more! Definitely check it out. 

My tip for you today is short and sweet: take a deep breath in, right now - go ahead - let the breath out - and on your next breath in, say to yourself, “I am amazing.” Then breathe out. Now do that for as many times as you need to begin to hear yourself saying it without any push back. 

17:03

[Music: Back to Christine]

Those are our tips for today. I am thrilled you listened!. If you enjoyed this episode, and want the next quick tips episode to make its way to you in your favorite app, take a moment - right now - to subscribe to this podcast - it’s free, after all!

Don’t forget that I have contact information for all of my 2020 Quick Tips Team members on my website! Be sure to click through, follow your favorites on their website - or social media pages -  and let them know you found them through this podcast!

17:32

[GPS Support Flock Thank you music]

Thanks! Thank you! A huge shout out to every member of my GPS Support Flock. I invite you to fly on over to my website or see my show notes for a link to learn how you may become a GPS Support Flock member where you will gain access to all of my programs, monthly workshops, group coaching, and more. See you there!

If you are able to do a screenshot of this episode now and share it on social media to help others to find it, that would be super helpful to me and the team. Tag me @emptynestcoach so that I may thank you. OR if you can think of one other person who would enjoy this podcast, please, don’t keep it a secret.

And should you be a regular subscriber to this podcast, can you take a moment and leave a five-star rating and review? That would be lovely!

18:27

[Music: Outro - fade out]

Of course, my amazing empty nest friend (or not so empty nest friend), always  remember that YOU ARE AMAZING!

18:36

Bloopers

18:51

Still listening? I recently slept outside on my deck. I love to camp solo - or with a few amazing women. Since I can’t do that right now, I decided to camp on my deck. No family members joined me and I am totally okay with that. Have you done anything like that recently? 

[end]

94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5, Find Your Flock

94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5, Find Your Flock

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Continuing in the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I encourage you to find your flock - and to evaluate the flock(s) already in your life. A well-placed, positive flock in the foundational level of your CEO toolbox has the potential to lift you to heights that would be incredibly challenging, or impossible to reach if you were flying solo.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"A good flock will lift you to heights you couldn't do on your own by holding you accountable, being in line with your principles, and bringing positive energy to what you do." 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Do you have a great flock in your life? Your @emptynestcoach asks this question in this episode and you should check it out! 💚#listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider The Flock Support That You Have In Your LIfe
  • What To Look For In a Flock for Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Find Your Flock
  • To Consider Our Flocks

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do You Have a Great Flock in Your Life?
  2. Are you ready to join the GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success

Announcements

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 94 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5: Find Your Flock. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox for your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast, in this episode, making this episode a more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through.

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I’ll always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 94 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P94) I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:55

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:41

To continue some thank yous, I would like to give a shout out to five amazing ladies who jumped in a couple of weeks ago to take over my Instagram account on short notice. It was a new experience for me and for those who participated. Thank you to Carolyn Kiel of Beyond 6 Seconds, Colleen and Bridgett of Hot Flashes & Cool Topics, Katherine the 5 Kilo Traveller & Deirdre Dolan Nesline of Declutter by Dierdre. If you missed their takeovers, I saved their takeovers in an Instagram highlight, so check it out.

[Music]

00:03:11

How is your life’s toolbox doing? That Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox, is it useful? Have you fully taken inventory? Is it well stocked? Is it jam-packed and needing some cleaning out? Or is it brand new and you are wondering what to put inside? We’ve discussed in this series the top-tray of your toolbox, those self-help-esque items that are your goto beneficial things in your life that serve you well until you have time to work with your foundational items. In this episode, we continue to work through our foundational items. I have, so far, asked you to consider adding presence and adding the CEO Analysis Tool to the base of your toolbox.  That one alone took two episodes.

00:03:56

Today, I want you to consider whether or not you have a flock that you belong to, a community of humans that lift you up, encourages you and helps you to become more of who you are meant to be. I would like you to consider adding that flock or a future flock to the foundational level of your toolbox. For you, this flock may be a few individuals that you see one on one, or you may have multiple groups of people who already serve you well in this regard. If so, consider yourself lucky, and lovingly stock your toolbox with these amazing humans. I’ve been watching a lot of “Ozark” lately, so I guess I feel like I need to say this is an analogy, of course.  No stuffing of real humans in boxes, please. [Giggle]

00:04:43

Be sure that for a flock to reside in your foundational-level of your life’s toolbox that it has at minimum of these four criteria: 

First, there are no leadership issues. There is either a clear leader; no leader, where everyone is equal; or different individuals lead at different times with no drama. This is important as with no resistance or little resistance in the group, all flock members have the opportunity to become their best selves. That just is exciting, isn’t it?

Second, the flock has values, priorities and a focus that is in line with your life and plans for your life. This will assist you in remaining on the correct path for your future-self.

Third, the flock has accountability, meaning if a flock member should fall out of formation while the flock is flying, the member will notice the extra resistance and immediately get back into line. This provides you an extra boost while staying on your path. Sometimes your GPS loses its signal and this is where the flock accountability will serve you well.

Fourth, the flock brings positive energy to your life. Life is too short to spend time in a flock that may have served you well ten years ago, but every time you join them, the energy brings you down. 

If someone, or a group, came to mind to you as I said that, please, keep it in mind.

00:06:18

I discuss a bit about the power of having a community to lift you up in Episode number 17 where I introduce the Green Popsicle Stick fable. I also mention, way back in episode 3, the importance of finding social support as you enter the empty nest. A good flock will lift you up to heights you couldn’t do on your own; by holding you accountable, being in line with your principles, and bringing positive energy to what you do. A bad flock can keep you grounded for life. My friend, figure out who your flock is. Do they know the real you? Are they lifting you higher? If you already have that group, take a moment to realize how lucky you are, and I would give them a special thank you, today. 

00:07:05

Should you want to add another flock, or are in search of a flock to fill this role, I invite you to consider joining our membership group, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. I invite you to keep me posted on your toolbox progress, too. I look forward to sharing a final foundational-level message with you in our next episode. 

[Music]

00:07:27

The questions I have for you in this episode are: Do you have a great flock already in your life? Are you ready to join the GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success? We can’t wait to have you join us! Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:07:51

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? In January, I was quoted in a Redbook article titled “10 Ways to Be the Kind of Parent Your Kid Looks Up To.” My tip is number 5 and the topic is “Give them Space.” Link is in my show notes if you would like to check it out. 

00:08:13

My empty nest, CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. May you find your flock and find future-you because she is amazing.  My empty nest friend, you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

93: The CEO Toolbox Part 4B: When Your Life Stops Moving Forward – Analysis Tool Walkthrough

93: The CEO Toolbox Part 4B: When Your Life Stops Moving Forward – Analysis Tool Walkthrough

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Continuing in the series of your life’s toolbox, I walk you through the CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) Analysis Tool. We set up the tool in the last episode, and now it is time to dive in. If it resonates with you, I ask you to consider placing it in the foundational level of your toolbox. Use this as a key resource to get the momentum moving again when you find that yours halts.

I also share my first two-star review – and enjoy doing so!

My empty nest friend, I want you to do amazing things in your life, and until you understand how much power you are giving away to the world by not understanding what is within your own control, you will continue to limit yourself. 

Take a listen or read the full transcript below.   ⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Want to subscribe to this podcast? Great news – it is free!
> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • How Thankful I Am For A Two-Star Podcast Review
  • How to WalkThrough and Use the CEO Analysis Tool

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How many times did you have to listen to this to get it?
  2. What questions do you have for me?

Announcements

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources


Full Transcript

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.