157: Listen to this episode when you need help in appreciating the past and need some self-prioritization tips 💚

157: Listen to this episode when you need help in appreciating the past and need some self-prioritization tips 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

My goodness, you are amazing. Seriously! You are showing up in your own life and doing the thing. You are worth the joyous investment in who you are. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

This is a FULL episode with a brand new "empty nest news" section for our consideration.  I'd love your thoughts. 

Have a presence-filled day! 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I want to tell you, my beautiful, amazing friend, that any discomfort that comes up through conversations to make this happen for you - for you to allow yourself to have this time - you are so worth the incredible investment to become who you are. [Remember] we are working on your evolution of becoming you. It's not going to end tomorrow; it will keep going."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies below, too! Scroll down 🔽 , so you don't miss anything! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

It is here! 🎉 @emptynestcoach 's newest 🎙podcast episode: Listen to this episode when you need help in appreciating the past and need some self-prioritization tips 💚 #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode #emptynestsuccess #whatIwishmyparentsknew #wins #5ofJoy▶

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 02:28 New Things: Changing the affirmations & And an apology about the word "work." 
  • 06:47 My Lessons Learned: An analogy for appreciating the past (vehicles) 
  • 13:50 Ask Coach Christine
  • 21:36 Christine, Where Are You? Hint: C.E.O. Training Team
  • 22:25 Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 23:42 What's In Your Life's Toolbox? 5 Things of Joy
  • 25:55 Let's Find The Funny
  • 26:09 What I Wish My Parents Knew
  • 27:10 Empty Nest News (?): Should I make this a new segment?
  • 28:08 Two Questions For You
  • bloopers 😆
  • 29:22 Still listening? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college (or not college) and life.

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 157

FULL TRANSCRIPT


0:00

Hi, I'm Coach Christine. This is my podcast. It's the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast and we're on episode 157. Tap 30 seconds ahead if this isn't your first time listening and want to skip this introduction portion. In this podcast I focus on helping mothers who are freaking out about the Empty Nest ahead. We'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries though, all are welcome here as I'm all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of your life. And in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious, Effective Olympian. You'll do this by leveling up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments. Those small wins add up to big changes. I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go.

[up beat music]

This podcast is my gift to you, a parent adjusting to the idea of an Empty Nest, or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on. And maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time, I'm here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

1:06

Some quick reminders, you'll find a ton of information, resources, and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to follow it in your favorite podcast player or register for a free account in the Empty Nest Success home. Those are the best ways to be notified when I release a new episode. A special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass!  SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. If you like to jump around in an episode look for the time markers found in the show notes or within the show transcript.

01:55

[computer game level up music (short)]

My wish for you today.

My wish for you today is that you are able to release blockages that you weren't even aware are there for you. May you be able to become present enough to notice and recognize emotions going on within you. And to begin to look at them as signposts - as information for you on how to move forward. May this come easy for you in your daily search for being ever present.

[computer game level up music (short)]

02:28
New things, new things, new things.

If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you'll notice that from the beginning where I started to hear I have tried a lot of different things along the way groups, not groups coaching, small group coaching. Over the years, quite often those changes were led by outsiders telling me this is how I'm supposed to do something and silly me went along with the ride, one of the things I'm really leaning into is to be inspired versus motivated in the areas of my life where I can do so there are things I have to do. And then there are things that I'm inspired to do. And I believe 400% If that's possible that everything I do with this podcast, and my coaching needs to be from an inspired place because that way you're going to know if we're really good fit and vice versa. My most recent change came organically out of C.E.O. training team sessions.

Weekly, I post affirmation videos in nature in the Empty Nest Success community. The question I usually ask people is is there resistance to the statement there? and then we talk about their emotions that are around it, those types of things. And over the past month, I've really leaned into the fact that the emotions that you're feeling are way more important than we're giving credit to that I have given credit to them in the past. So, after a few sessions of this, I really got to thinking that I need to change these. I don't want somebody to come in and feel that resistance and be like I'm not any of that. That's where we want to get you to but you don't have to be there today. And I'm here to cheer you along as you grow to believe that. 

[bells]

So my first new thing that I want to share with you today is that as of July I am changing the way I present those they are all now going to have me reading the audio as, "What if?"  What if I believed I'm amazing? What if I could do anything I wanted. And I've created a printable document that you can utilize to process through it; think about on your own time; what works for you and there, what statements provide a lot of resistance and what emotions come up and how would you change it so that you believe all of it in a joyous, wonderful way.

[bells]

The second change I have to share with you today is one that I want to offer with an apology. Hear me out I have always said it takes a lot of work to figure out who you are. And I'm not disagreeing with that statement. But what I'd like to change and make my new thing going forward is to remove the word work from it, and change it into something else. And here's what I'm going to change it to

[bells] joyous investment in my evolution, that feels way better. That works for me. So here's the code. When I say joyous investment - peaceful investment - this is an investment... know going forward that that is my wording for work. Because work feels like drudgery. It's work. And yes, it doesn't change the action of what it does. But it changes my emotion in how I move forward. And hopefully, that comes through to you. And you can utilize it. Or, you can find your own words that work. Big fan of that here. So I apologize for using "work" so often in the past, it's going to take me time to clear that out from my content and resources. And, I may slip up here and there. So don't be shy on calling me out on that. Because I need to adjust that for all of us. What are your thoughts about that?

06:15 

Let me give a bonus new thing. And that is

[bells] ... that my plan for the rest of this year. And that can change because I do that all the time is that I will have one podcast episode out per month. That is plenty of time for me to be inspired to bring you amazing content. Great content and inspired content is my goal to deliver to you should I have a month where I feel inspired to do one or two extra episodes, I will do that.

06:47

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

My lessons learned for this episode, I want to talk about a vehicle analogy that I recently heard from Abraham Hicks - who knows when this was said by Abraham Hicks, there are tons of YouTube videos that are on YouTube, of things that come from Abraham Hicks. And this analogy really resonated with me. So I want to share it with you and share where my mind went after hearing it. It was one of those things that I would find myself thinking about when I'm walking or sitting down and showering and all these extra pieces were coming into play in and just made so much sense to me. So I share that with you today. The analogy starts with imagine that when you're born, you are purely you 100% pure you  -you no other influence, that being in that moment knows exactly who they are. I like to have fun with it, so, I imagine like a beam of light is your soul. Like here's Christine's soul, it's there fully. However, immediately that beautiful soul who knows exactly who they are, before they can talk and remember things, they are placed into a vehicle. This is analogy again, remember, and this vehicle belongs to your parents or guardians. This vehicle has certain rules, it has certain level of protection to it or non protection to it. It maybe has power doors, like whatever analogy comes up for you that you can associate to your parents or guardians vehicle. And while that vehicle may not have been perfect, it got you to another stage in life, where you can see you're ready to upgrade. Or, maybe you just need to get into another vehicle for say going to school, or clubs. Eventually, workplace, you have friend groups, these are all different vehicles. And in each vehicle, there are different rules that you learn to follow. And you pop in and out of those.

08:45

Some of the vehicles may not ride well. They might have been tough. You pop in and out throughout your life. And remember, while you were this beautiful pure soul in the beginning, you've been in all these vehicles and that is all you remember. So those vehicles have created who you think you are. There comes a day, whether it's when you find this podcast, you find another coach or leader or teacher or on your own that you think, "I don't think I'm who I am."  This is a lot of the work I end up doing with my clients is getting them to trust themselves that there is a pure you that existed once before. And it makes sense that you have absolutely no idea who that is because you've never been allowed to get out of other people's vehicles. What I'd like to say today is trust, try trusting what if you have your own vehicle out there? Sure, you're going to have no idea what it is. If you've only been in other people's vehicles, each vehicle more than likely has a little different set of rules. So when you see one you're going to upgrade. Oh, I'm going to get that one that has power doors. Let me grab that one now. That's exciting. This could be anything for you. It could be a church home, your parents, your friendships, separate friendships are probably different vehicles for you. One of the important parts about this analogy, if it resonates with you, is that while a vehicle may not have been perfect, it may not be your end result. Because let's be real, we're all continually working on figuring out who we are and becoming a new person every day. One of the things I got out of this analogy that I was immediately able to apply to my marriage that just ended was while it wasn't perfect, and while I now have to figure out my own rules versus the rules that we had in that vehicle, is that we had some really good road trips in that vehicle, that vehicle got me to where I am today, that vehicle allows my daughter to exist, that vehicle has been a lot of fun over the years, it was just time for my husband and I to have different vehicles. When I shared this analogy with the C.E.O. Training Team, I got a bunch of different comments resonated really, really well. And everyone had a little bit of a spin on it. The one that was my absolute favorite. Hi there, if you remember who you are, is that I said, "Now it makes sense that we we get to this point where we have absolutely no idea who we are, who that person was in the beginning, how would we know we've never even considered that that exists. So of course, it's scary. A lot of times, it's super easy to just want to get back into some one of these other vehicles, even though it's not where you're meant to be, even though it doesn't serve you any longer, it feels super comfortable. Because you know, the rules there. You know how it works, you know that there's a I don't know, there's a gum wrapper there and nobody picks it up. But you're, you know, it's just become part of the vehicle now. So to take the action to get to any point of your life, whether you are 10,15, 18,19 ,40, 69,80, 110. Yes, people live that long. It is scary to realize that maybe you have no idea who you are. And the fun thing that this person said was yes, it's almost as if you get out of the vehicle. And you've realized you haven't packed your underwear. And then it just kept going or like yes, it's like you're you're getting out of the vehicle. And it's a four lane highway and the other vehicle is sitting there looking at you and you want to just jump back in, because that feels safe. And even though there isn't a lot of traffic on this highway, you're not sure you want to explore and figure out which vehicles best. And it also may feel like you're naked on the highway, because that's how it feels it can be that intimidating. But also, when you take that time to make the

[bells] investment in discovering who you are. Wow, it gets good. Because maybe now you get the power windows and you get the moonroof, or you get the convertible you've always wanted. And again, this is all analogy. It can be whatever you want, it can be who you are. And what if that whole time that you've been in all these other vehicles that discontent that you don't belong there is actually yourself telling you yes, that's that's actually right to this isn't exactly where you belong, not in this form, because you haven't figured out your own vehicle. How's that resonate? And a final reminder that those vehicles that got you to where you are today, those are important because that got you to where you are today. And today is a new day you get to move forward and appreciate the vehicles that got you here. While you discover the one you belong it.

13:50 

[computer game level up music (short)]

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, I'm having a lot of trouble prioritizing myself, what do I do? The first thing is when we take a look at the analogy I just talked about, we can realize that we have our own vehicles, but we need to discover them. To do that you need time for yourself. You need to explore different things you need to consider different things. Go with your joy, be able to clear your thoughts out and discover who you are and to trust your internal gut, your emotions, trust your feelings. I want to say that you are worth the investment to the [bells] joyous investment of the time to allow yourself to discover that I was asked about this so many times that I did a workshop on the topic (Empty Nest: Prioritizing Self). It's available to all C.E.O. Training Team members, but I want to give you the high level tips. This is more of a practical workshop.

Step one. [bells] It always starts with our thoughts. Of course just like everything here so often it resides in what we are thinking about ourselves if we are worth the time to prioritize ourselves if we're worth it, and I want to tell you you are, but you need to check your thoughts about that and make sure that you believe that I have so many episodes about that.

Second [bells] mental clutter, when we clear the thoughts when we're able to discover the thoughts that we have. And then we're able to clear them about all other topics, so many things, you gain time in your life, sometimes we immediately think we just need to clear our schedule, and everyone needs to walk around us. And yeah, sometimes that is the case. But also, sometimes we spend two hours thinking about something that is really none of our business, or worrying about something in the future, or rehashing something that happened in the past, when if we learn to catch ourselves in those moments, and to readjust into the present, you may find you gain hours a day, it's powerful. Third, start small. [bells]And by this I mean time, you don't have to clear a whole day. If you haven't given yourself time for things before, start with five minutes, start with 10 minutes, start with whatever that number is for you. That feels completely doable. And then add on. Fourth, [bells]find the fun, this may sound strange, but hear me out. When you start to actively look for fun in your life. It brings an emotion within your body that has you then looking for more fun, wanting more of that feeling. And that is a really fun place to be to motivate you to inspire you. Let's say inspire not motivated. To clear your calendar for yourself because you want more of that. And if you don't know what that is what you want to do with that time right now. It's okay, just start making the time even if it's five minutes and look for the fun. Number five [bells], notice and take inventory inventory of what okay, I'm not talking about the toolbox. In this episode, I'm actually talking about your life, all the things people, places, events, people, places, people, pets, people, things you do on the computer, people, Netflix, people? Did I say people? [giggles]

17:14
I feel like somebody needs to hear that. So there you go, people take inventory. And I don't mean necessarily a whole checkbox inventory list. But begin to notice who makes you feel amazing. Who inspires you, who has your back? When you say I think I need 15 minutes today; I could really use a day to myself, what are the reactions,? who is supporting you? it might surprise you. And begin to notice that and these are people you don't have to be around, maybe start limiting your time and freeing up your time that way. It's like a two for one.  Six [bells] Remember that less is more. And what I mean is not only in the time that you set aside for yourself, but also in what you want to do with that time. Sometimes our thing is so big like I want to go back to college, that there is never any action taken because it's such a huge thing. So the excuse to not make time for yourself is there because of the things so big, maybe consider a smaller thing, such as five minutes of reading, two hours of reading, picking up knitting, walking outside for five minutes. These are just examples. Maybe consider doing a small thing for yourself.

Now for some practical things to try with all of those. Patience. [bells] Remember, please be patient with yourself. This should be a joyous investment in you and be patient with yourself because this more than likely is a big change not only for you, but the people around you. So be patient with them because you, up till now, have conditioned them to expect you to behave in a different way. They might need a bit of a heads up. Here's a thought you can use. [bells] I am exactly where I need to be to move forward. Here's another thought [bells] that took exactly the time it needed. You can fight me on that one. Go ahead. But what's it get you? It took the time it needed. Whether it did or didn't if you sit there go wow, that shouldn't have taken two hours. I need three more days for that. Yeah, it took exactly the time it needed. You've got this, I believe in you. You can handle it next time you get back to it. One of the best things I've done over the last year is to [bells] schedule morning time for myself on my calendar. That is Christine time. I started with 30 minutes every morning. I didn't do it every day. When I did I was very happy. I also, for me, didn't plan to do anything in that 30 minutes. It was time for me to do whatever I felt inspired to do in that moment: total game changer. Now, I thrive really well on about an hour of that and I set aside a few hours every weekend just for that, and I get to do whatever I want to do that day. So put some time for yourself on the calendar, even if it's a small amount of time, honor it, you honor it, notice what or who causes you not to honor it.

20:16

Another tip [bells]: study hall time, I like to use this as a block of time on my calendar to be the catch all for the things that I didn't get done throughout the week. Do I get everything done? No, I don't, usually, I have ADHD, I jumped from things all the time. I like to use the study hall time to catch some of the things that are really important for me to get done that are half finished. So that was a lot of things and ideas. I have a couple others that I mentioned in my workshop, including a superpower up. But my wish is that maybe you're thinking about something a little bit differently, or you just needed to hear it again, I want to tell you, my beautiful, amazing friend, that any discomfort that comes up through conversations to make this happen for you, for you to allow yourself to have this time, you are so worth the incredible investment to become who you are. We are working on your evolution of becoming you. It's not going to end tomorrow, it's going to keep going. But first, you need to understand that you are worth that investment. You're worth the time. You are!

21:36

Christine, Christine, Christine, where are you?

[quirky music under segment]

While I may not be in your podcast player every week right now, you can find me most weeks active on TikTok, or Instagram. But the people who see me the most outside of my friends and family are my C.E.O. Training Team members. And, actually, I see them more than some of my family members. So, "Hi, all!"  We meet every Monday and most of the inspirational content that I'm -I mean that in I'm inspired to create content - is for them. First and foremost. They're who I'm thinking about they are the ones that I create for so where I am, most of the time is there. I'm also spending time off in nature and doing different types of activities that help me to invest in the evolution of Coach Christine.

22:25

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins. 

I'm going to pop over to the social media accounts right now. That's at Empty Nest coach and see if we have any wins to share my moment. All right, I've checked the LinkedIn. I just posted that an hour ago, so I really wasn't expecting anything. Instagram, Facebook. I don't do much there. TikTok Oo, we've got a microphone emoji on TikTok. Here we go. Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. My friends, Bridget and Colleen. Hi! Have you checked out their podcast? Because Holy cow. They're amazing. I think I know which one of you posted this but I'm not 100%? Sure. So I won't say but the win is: "my daughter really headed back to her home today. And I didn't cry." I'm so excited for you. I know that this is a big win and the amount of thought work that needs to happen and the growth into our new stage of life that needs to happen to get to a point where this is okay for a lot of people is huge, so well done. [crowd cheers] I'm gonna say my win is that I am sitting down and recording this episode. I say that a lot. But I'm super proud of it. And I have so much fun when I do it. I adore all of you.

23:42

[music & toolbox opening sound]

What's in your life's toolbox?

I've got another game changer to share with you. So, really take a moment to listen to this. Because if it's half as valuable to you, as it's been to me over the last month, it may change your life in a lot of different ways. In the beginning of this episode, I talked a bit about emotions and being able to tune into them and use them as guidance. I've been actively working to be present in an emotion of joy as much as possible. When I find my thoughts. Yes, I'm human. This happens all the time. I'm not always happy. Somebody said something about that. And I'm like, no, no, I'm not always happy. I try to be peaceful most of the time. But I am a human being. And sometimes, it takes me time to be there be present in that moment. And when I find moments that I am completely not present or there's an emotion that I realize I don't need to keep because the thoughts that I'm having aren't worth it. Rather than changing my thoughts. I have been leaning into trying to change that emotion first. And the tool I've been using is each day I choose five things that bring me complete joy, complete joy. I'd like to say five things that work always and I'm kind of leaning towards forest animals, because they do bring me quite a lot of joy, I come up with five things. And when I think of them, they are absolutely amazing. And for the people close to me, I'm starting to narrow down moments like the way they laugh at a certain joke or something. And that just brings me so much joy. So find five things that when you think of, oh, it just feels so good. And when you catch yourself throughout the day, the weeks, moments, in that emotion that you want to change and the thoughts - you're having trouble changing the thoughts- take your fingers on one hand, and touch your thumb to each one: 1,2,3,4. And then just go back. So you have five. And for each time you've touched a finger, think of one of those five things and go through that all five, just keep going until you can feel the joy inside of you and see what happens.

25:55

[music and laughter]

Let's find the funny 

I'm putting this in the show notes. SNL is old enough long term boyfriends. If you've seen the skit, you'll know immediately what I'm talking about. If you haven't, the link is in the show notes. Enjoy it, it is funny. 

[music and laughter]

26:09

What I wish my parents knew

I got a comment on TikTok mentioning that a student had returned home. And there was this immediate assumption that all the chores that they had when they left just went right into place. I think I interpreted that correctly. And this goes back to advice that I talk about for every single break vacation and time that you come back together to live under one roof as a family. And that is to have conversations about this ahead of time. Sure, as parents, we may expect them to come in and fill into their roles. But remember, they've been living independently somewhere else. And they may not be on the same plan anymore. I encourage you to have conversations as adults, because you may find that they're willing to do more than you thought in different ways. And just because it's not the way it used to be doesn't mean it's wrong. So I leave it as have some conversations.

27:10 [upbeat music]

[(Empty Nest News?)]

Should I make this a regular segment? I have a Google search on I think it's for Empty Nest coach, I probably have Empty Nest as well. But if you like the idea of this section, let me know. One that popped up recently was I like the title. I don't have access to it. So I can't tell you too much about what it says. But let's talk about the title real quick: Empty Nesters aren't saving for retirement like they promised. That's a problem. I gotta be honest, I just went through a divorce. So, saving for retirement is kind of on hold at the moment while I get myself back together. I can think of so many reasons why this happens that I read this title and I'm like, Yeah, cuz life. What are your thoughts? Have you read the article? Should we talk about stuff like this? Although, but I'll be honest, most of the news is usually about someone famous going into the Empty Nest years. And yes, that could be fun too.

28:08

Two questions for you. 

Question number one, Whose vehicle are you currently riding in?

And question number two, how good are you at making yourself a priority?

Well, in here we are at the end. As always, I provide content to make you think my Empty Nest friend, my hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. I'll be back in July and I'm planning that after a pretty big personal event happens. So I'll share that with you at that time. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to share it with others it is the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Don't forget to follow it to and I leave you with no matter what vehicle you're currently riding in in this moment. analogy or not... You are amazing. Chat next time.

[bloopers]

Me getting used to recording in this new home is taking some effort. There's a bird, you need to explore different things you need to consider....see it agrees numbers six are we on six I think good ending.

29:22

Still listening? I turned 51 This month, and I also had an opportunity to become part of Rachel Pedersen's TikTok internship program. I got accepted. I'm on week three out of four. So, by the time this goes live, I'll be in the final stage. It's kind of fun to say, "I'm an intern at age 51." When you begin to throw yourself out to different experiences, you never know what's going to happen. As always, I am cheering you on!

[end music]

[end]

156: Checking In 👋 Regular Episodes Return Soon💚

156: Checking In 👋 Regular Episodes Return Soon 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Today I want you to know I've been thinking about you and that I'll be back with regular podcast episodes soon!

As always, thank you for listening. I appreciate you!! 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"In my last episode,  I announced that I was giving myself a podpause because there was the potential that I would have to move in the spring. Well, I called that. I did move. "

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Listen to @emptynestcoach 's 🎙podcast episode: Checking In 👋 Regular Episodes Return Soon 💚#emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode #podpause #readyforwhatisnext ▶

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 00:31 Thank you for your patience & an update
  • 01:00 Affirmation videos
  • 01:52 Thank you C.E.O. Training Team Members
  • 02:15 Still Listening? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 156

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hello, my future empty nest friend. This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of may alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:00:31

I wanna thank you for your patience with me. In my last episode,  I announced that I was giving myself a pod pause because there was the potential that I would have to move in the spring. Well, I called that. I did move. I bought a manufactured home. I live in this adorable trailer park community that feels wonderful. 

I am so thankful that I gifted myself with the space to not think about the podcast, even though, I've missed you all so much during this time.

00:01:00

(I) just finished recording all of the affirmation videos up through the end of June. And while I was in here - in audacity - I thought, "let me do a quick shout out to my podcast listeners. Let you know that I am coming back; I'm excited to come back; and if you've missed me and you want to hear affirmation videos, look at the link in the description. You'll find it also on my website. 

All you need to do is register, and weekly I will send out a video to you. It is less than a minute, usually - sometimes it's up to a minute and a half. It's an affirmation for you, with my walk in nature. I put those together and send them out each week. 

If you want all of those, there's a product for that. And, of course, if you join the C.E.O. Training Team,  you get all of them as well. It's included in your membership, and that I will be opening super soon for everyone. 

00:01:52

Thank you to my current C.E.O. Training Team members, who have been with me through the transition. I love you all. I love you, listeners. Thank you for being here for me. I am cheering you on, as always. Take care, and remember that you are amazing. 

[end music]

00:02:12

Still listening

No bloopers today, but I will tell you that the C.E.O. Training Team membership is open, and we have a special offer. So definitely, check it out. 

[end music]

[end]

155: Empty Nest Success Means Re-Evaluation, But There’s a Catch💚

155: Empty Nest Success Means Re-Evaluation, But There’s a Catch 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

I'm wrapping up 2021 with an announcement or two. I'll be busy with the C.E.O. Training Team to Empty Nest Success membership, curating content from these 155 episodes, creating videos for TikTok, and other things over the next six months. I will be back after June with a podcast series or two.

All the details are in this episode. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you!! 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"So, my question to you now is why in the world do we spend so much energy protecting our physical world, while the majority of us - we don’t spend more than ten-seconds learning how to care for and protect our thoughts? Ugh. It pains me. it pains me!"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Listen to @emptynestcoach 's 🎙podcast episode: Empty Nest Success Means Re-Evaluation, But There’s a Catch 💚 #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode #re-evaluation ▶

Tweet about this

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:47 Podcast intro
  • 01:43  My wish for you today
  • 02:11 New things (Podcast & Community Updates)
  • 07:48 My Lessons Learned: Empty Nest Re-evaluations
  • 14:06 Christine, Where are You? 
  • 15:30 Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 16:18 Two Questions for You
  • 17:39 Bloopers
  • 18:09 Still Listening? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

Questions for You:

  1. What do you need to re-evaluate in your life?
  2. Will you be joining us in the C.E.O. Training Team?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 155

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #155. Tap 30 seconds ahead if this isn't your first time listening and want to skip this introduction portion. I focus on mothers who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though, all are welcome here, as I’m all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[up beat music]

00:00:47

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of may alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:01:17

[computer game level up music (short)]

This episode has been months in the making through a tiny seed that was planted in my mind way back in May or June... it arrived as a thought-delivery for me almost out of thin air. Should I wrap up the podcast? OOOO, that was a tough thought-delivery. I'll say a bit more, shortly, but if you want to jump around in this episode, look for the time markers in the show notes.

00:01:43

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you notice a thought-delivery - a thought that was placed in your mind. A thought that hasn’t been serving you. May you notice that thought, lovingly look at it and let it go. It isn’t your thought to keep, after all, and you, my friend, deserve better.

00:02:11

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

My first new thing is that I'm going to put a fairly long pause on this podcast. I marked my calendar and will not release a new episode for at least six months. And, yes, I had to mark it on my calendar because I do tend to get excited and forget that I promised myself that I’d give myself time to process things. [giggle] and when I do return to podcasting, it will look a little bit different, too: I will be creating a focused series of episodes on topics and will release them when the content is ready.

My second new thing is that with the podcasting pause - thanks Lee Uehara for that term - I’ll be able to focus on the empty nest success membership, which I’ve renamed and changed a bit to something more fitting of what it really is. It is now called the The C.E.O. Training Team. C.E.O., of course, stands for Conscious Effective Olympian around here and my dirty little secret is that while I’m lucky enough to teach to empty nest mamas, it serves them in every area of their life- not just the empty nest - helping them to become the Conscious Effective Olympians of their life. It isn’t really about the empty nest but it certainly starts there for these amazing women. I love this work and the new name is a continual reminder, to me, how important my work is.

Can I be real with you for a moment, too? I know I’ve been using the term flock for quite some time. It felt like it fit with the whole empty nest concept but it did feel a bit gimmicky (and “off”) to me - I didn’t have a better solution though. With much contemplation I realized that what this membership community that I’m creating has more in common with is a team - let’s take a gymnastics team for example - or any team where you compete individually - that’s you, my friend - the individual - it’s your life, your work, your happenings in life that aren’t exactly the same as everyone else’s and ultimately you are the one that needs to put in the work to excel in your moments, in your life BUT you also have the support of a team - where everyone around you, while they may not have the same exact situation or circumstances, they “get it”, they get missing their kid, they “get” losing their identity, they “get” that taking care of yourself takes effort and you are supported in this team environment. Then there is the coach - yeah, that would be me. I’m there to provide you with training sessions, guidance, and encouragement. Ultimately, the work is yours. I know that, you know that, but it helps sometimes to have a coach to check-in with, who has been where you are - maybe not exactly the same way but enough to know how they’d look at the problem should they be presented with it today. As your coach, I’m there to spot you as you learn and tell you when you are ready to move to the next level.

00:05:28

So with that analogy...

I now think of this podcast as the open gym session. You can drop in, take a listen, try some of the equipment or tools that I mention and see if you like what I have to say, if you can stand how I say it, try some of the tools I mention and decide if you want to do more in this space.

If the answer is yes, in a gym, you’d sign up for a casual class - maybe a weekly recreational one. Our equivalent would be you choosing to register for the membership site where you’ll get access to some additional resources for free.

And then, if you like what you see in the space but find you are struggling without a team around you; if you are looking for a bit more guidance, accountability, and personal encouragement - then it’s time to join a C.E.O. Training Team.

I have a limit on the size of the roster and recruitment only opens periodically.

Once on a team, you’ll have weekly training sessions on Mondays, which we call Power Hours. In this space, we’ll run through some tools, resources and activities as a group - we’ll celebrate our wins together and share things that we found funny. You’ll have access to a monthly group coaching session as well. And resources... oh, well, of course, you have now have full access to the gym to level-up your skills whenever works for you. You’ll have access to workshops, affirmations, content that I will be creating, and more.

The team will always be reminded that we are in a safe space where we support one another. And of course, I’m always available for private coaching, as well.

All that was my second new thing!

And my final new thing, that is worth mentioning, is that I will be curating content. With over 150 episodes, I have a tremendous amount of content that is always available, and I keep having great plans to curate it in a useful way for you, but haven’t had the time to do it because there is always another episode to create. Well, with this pause, the C.E.O. Training team will reap the rewards because I’ll be curating content each week for the team. They’ll be able to request topics too. I’m super excited to have the time to do this, as what good is great content if it’s really hard to find it?

00:07:48

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

Empty Nest Success Means Re-Evaluation But There’s a Catch

Why are you doing the things you do?

Is it because it is what you said you’d do? Is it because you’ve always done it that way? Is it because you are comfortable? Is it because you have a routine? Is it because —— maybe you don’t even know.

The empty nest brings huge change into our lives. Some expected. Some unexpected. Strong emotions when you least expect them. Freedom - freedom that may be welcome or unwelcome. Of course, I could go on for days about the changes. There are times we hold onto people, routines, traditions, keepsakes, furniture, plans because they were brought into our lives in a singular moment.

In case you need to hear this, something ( or someone) amazing doesn’t need to stay in your life forever for it to have been good for your life. Maybe you learned what you needed to learn. Maybe you grew the amount you needed to grow. Maybe you grew and someone else didn’t. Maybe you’ve changed and that thing you said yes to three years ago, doesn’t serve you any longer.

The empty nest is a fantastic opportunity to declutter our lives. Yes, it can be scary. But it also could be freaking amazing. You won’t know until you start to look at it all. And you won’t know what to re-evaluate and declutter until you’ve done some cleaning up. And, if you’ve listened to me for more than one episode, you are going to know that I always start with ... our thoughts. Yes, our thoughts are powerful. Our thoughts can change our lives. 100% I couldn’t believe anything more. Are they the answer to everything? No they are not, but I haven’t seen successful change happen in someone’s life without them first decluttering their thoughts around the thing. You, yourself, may not even realize how much power you’re handing over to others in your life - in this very moment.

You’ve probably heard me say this before, but I like to say that our thoughts are thought-deliveries - and our mind is like a house. Would you EVER leave your house - where you live physically - real-life - unlocked with the door open and the lights on allowing ANYONE to enter without giving it a second thought? Would you allow someone to drop off a box in your unlocked home, and never look inside to see what is there - I mean - it could be a million dollars - but it could also be a bomb. Think about this - imagine, you head off to work (outside of your home), you leave your windows and doors open, the lights are on, allow anyone to come in with no rhyme or reason - “welcome!” and you have no cameras to monitor - things just happen in your home while you aren’t there. How does that feel?

So, my question to you now, is why in the world do we spend so much energy protecting our physical world, while the majority of us - we don’t spend more than ten-seconds learning how to care for and protect our thoughts? ugh. It pains me. it pains me!

Let me say it again, thoughts are only the beginning. But we have to start somewhere. And thought-deliveries - noticing them, questioning them, being curious about them, are a really good place to start. It’s difficult to understand becoming the C.E.O. of your life when you can’t see past the darkness cluttering your mind of thought-deliveries that you haven’t cleaned out for your ENTIRE LIFE.

Oh, my friend, I began this work over three years ago for myself and if you’ve listened to this podcast, you’ve heard me along the journey. When I started, I thought thought-deliveries and what those does to us was enough. I discovered, it really is so much more, but until you get that concept, none of the rest will make sense. None of it will be illuminated until you can declutter. And then, and only then, with a decluttered mind, will you have the freedom of more time, more energy, making everything in your life easier to re-evaluate.

And if you had told me three and a half years ago that my 2021 would consist of a move, a marriage separation and pending divorce, speaking at an event, and looking at pausing my podcast, all in the midst of a pandemic that had been going on for multiple years, I wouldn’t even know how to respond. But guess what? Right here, now, in the moment, I’m pretty peaceful about it all - it feels amazing to have that level of control over my life - even when things I can’t control come barreling in full force. What I get to do is control how I respond. I get to control my thoughts about it. I was able to look at that thought-delivery that arrived months and months ago: yeah that one, “Should I wrap up the podcast?” I was able to consider it lovingly, let it simmer, and frame it in different lights and ultimately find the answer within myself that works for me, right now.

I hope, my friend, that you discover this for yourself. It’s amazing. It isn’t a perfect life - whose is? - and it takes continual work but it is life-changing and since our lives aren’t over, and we have years on this earth (hopefully - fingers-crossed) to spend here, why not make the most of it and really get to know your amazing self? Future-you is waiting.

00:14:06

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?

Alright, well, you’ll find me in the C.E.O. Training Team, the Empty Nest Success community, in new videos on TikTok, for sure, and taking a lot of local walks. That should all keep me busy through the first quarter of 2022, along with my day job and there’s a slight chance I might have another move in store for me in 2022, so I’m buffering a little extra time in there in case I need to pull that off.

In the podcasting world, I will be a guest on some upcoming podcast episodes. Two that I have already been recorded are Wellness While Walking hosted by Carolyn Cohen where I shared a bit about how much walking has helped me over the last year...and in the spring, you’ll find me on an episode of Listeners to Leads hosted by Alesia Galati where we talked about the fun I have on TikTok. I had a great time speaking with both of these amazing women, and you can always find all of the episodes I’ve guested on, on my website - scroll all the way down to Coach Christine appearances to see them all on the audio page.

And while I won’t be releasing my own episodes for the next six months, I am very happy to be a guest on your show. If you’ve been waiting to ask me, now’s the time.

00:15:30

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins

This is an amazing way to to wrap up celebrating your wins. Let me tell you why. I did not release my usual video on Instagram and TikTok asking for people to celebrate their wins. So, I haven’t done that in quite some time, but I did release other videos and in one of them - right in my TikTok comments someone left the microphone emoji and their win! I love this so much. So my listener, I invite you to celebrate with Layla.and.Dabo who got into three colleges this week and still are waiting to hear back from their dream school. I hope you hear back soon and it is a “Yes!” All of us here are cheering you on Layla.andDabo! Thank you for sharing. You’re amazing.

00:16:18

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  What do you need to re-evaluate in your life?

and Question 2:  Will you be joining us in the C.E.O. Training Team?

[I’d] love to have you there.

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this episode please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And, even, if I’m not releasing content right now, I have 150 episodes for someone to binge.

As always, you'll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. A special thanks to SupaPass, my current employer and what powers our Empty Nest Success community. You can join today to gain free resources.

As for me and this podcast, I’ll be back in mid to late 2022 with a series of topics that rise organically from our C.E.O. Training Team sessions.

Now, at the end of the year, I’m happy I can say I’ve enjoyed the journey in 2021 - the ups and the downs. I was able to level-up my life as I was stretched in ways I never would have expected. You can do this too - if you haven’t already - I believe in you. And don’t you dare forget that YOU ARE AMAZING!

Chat next time!

[end music]

[00:17:39]

[bloopers]

00:18:09

Are you still listening?

Take a deep breath in, my friend. Let the air out. Take another deep breath in and as you do, imagine good thought-deliveries entering your soul. Let that breath out and let go of thoughts that aren’t serving you. Let’s do it again.... deep breath in (good thought deliveries) and out (let those go - they’re not yours). Repeat this as necessary.

[end music]

[end]

154: How To Disentangle Through Divorce In The Empty Nest 💚

154: How To Disentangle Through Divorce In The Empty Nest 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

I almost didn't publish this one.

However, it has given me a bit of closure, and if it helps one person, it is worth sharing. 💚

In this episode, I share some of my personal journey as my husband and I transition toward divorce. I also share things that have helped me - and much more. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My wish for you today is that you discover, or rediscover, something about yourself that you love."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Listen to @emptynestcoach 's 🎙podcast episode: How to disentangle through divorce in the empty nest  💚 #divorce #emptynestdivorce #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode ▶

Tweet about this

This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Podcast intro
  • 01:47  My wish for you today
  • 02:29 New things
  • 04:17 My Lessons Learned: divorce in the empty nest
  • 13:30 5 Things that have helped me in separation/divorce
  • 19:42 Sunk costs and final thoughts
  • 22:23 Ask Coach Christine:  Telling your parents you use new pronouns
  • 23:15  Christine, Where are You? 
  • 24:45 Find the Funny
  • 24:31 Two Questions for You
  • 26:53 Bloopers
  • 27:11 Still Listening? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

Questions for You:

  1. How do you feel about divorce - in your life and the lives of others?
  2. What area of your life do you need to take a closer look at? 

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 154

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #154. Tap 30 seconds ahead if this isn't your first time listening and want to skip this introduction portion. I focus on mothers who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries, though, all are welcome here, as I’m all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[up beat music]

00:00:46

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of may alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:01:15

[computer game level up music (short)]

The big (and heavy) topic for this episode is divorce - I'm opening up on how we (my husband and I) are disentangling our relationship through divorce. Is it a how to for everyone? [giggle] Probably not but it has/is becoming my husband and I's how to, and since I needed to hear from others their experience, I thought maybe someone might need to hear ours - or, mine because I certainly can't speak for my soon to be ex-husband.

If you wanna jump around in the episode, look for the time markers in the show notes.

00:01:47

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Wish for You Today

My wish for you today is that you discover, or rediscover, something about yourself that you love. You know, that thing that when you think about it, you know it is special and the corner of your mouth rises up with a grin because that part of you - or that talent - or gift of yours - is pretty freaking amazing. Give yourself permission to stop what you are doing now and think about it - or take time to discover it - and lean into it. Be proud of it. Own it. You are amazing!

00:02:29

[computer game level up music (short)]

New Things. New Things. New Things!

So many new things have happened but I'll pick two big ones in my personal life.

First, I received a TikTok video sponsorship! Helix Sleep sent me a mattress to review in exchange for a couple of videos about the mattress. I can't even begin to tell you how exciting this is for me, although, to be honest, part of me was really concerned because I'm awful at lying, so I did have a fear that I wasn't going to love the mattress. Thank goodness, it is freaking amazing - I want to go lay in it now it's so comfortable. Should you be curious, I'll put a link to my first video in my show notes. In that video I share how it is delivered in a box and also show the entire unboxing - our cat Lego supervised. If you are in the market for a mattress, I have a link for $200 off a Helix Sleep mattress and they'll send you a couple of pillows too - a link to that will be in my show notes, as well.

00:03:21

My other big new thing is that I was officially served with divorce papers, which means the 90-day countdown begins until it can be official. Such a weird thing and because of that, I thought I'd do a second episode about divorce in the empty nest, as I think it is important. I see so many things about reconnecting with your partner in the empty nest and it is fantastic if you are able to do so but for those who aren't - here is your reminder that you are not alone. That your worth is not based on your marriage. You are amazing no matter your relationship status. And you may even be happier.

In Your Empty Nest Coach-land, things that are new is that I'm actually no longer working at the grocery store which means I have a full two days off a week, again - which hasn't happened in quite some time - and that means, I've had time to do things like get back to working on our flock space, and this podcast. Yay, I'm so excited!

00:04:17

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

Divorce in the Empty Nest

As mentioned earlier, I am in the process of a divorce. I wasn't the one who ultimately asked for it but I was the one who first mentioned the word divorce and gave my husband permission to consider it. Want to know why? Yeah, sometimes I do to [ha!]. But I'm going to be really real here in this episode about things that I think might help others, and also remember (in case you skipped this in the beginning) I'm sharing how we are handling it and things that have helped me. Should you be experiencing divorce or have it on your mind - always, always use your own internal GPS for guidance.

A few days after my husband's request, our discussion and quick decision to proceed with divorce, I went back and listened to episode 119 of my podcast - that one is titled 'does the empty nest cause divorce?'. Oh my goodness, it brought me so much peace. It is weird to have your past self comfort your current self. But that's what happened. So, if you are in the process of divorce or considering it - I encourage you to listen to that episode before the rest of this one. It is a really good starting point. And, honestly, I'm kind of fascinated by how helpful it was to me.

To be completely transparent with you, when you listen to that episode, you'll notice I put something out there that was big - especially in the "still listening?" portion. From where I sit now, I think that was me directly talking to myself, and, I admit to you today, that I hadn't yet done it myself. I knew I needed to at some point but man, it is freaking scary. I guess episode 119 was my way of preparing myself for the future - or where I am presently.

00:06:13

Anyway, after recording and making that episode live last year, there were some thought-deliveries that kept arriving in my mind that I couldn't quite let go of. I feel sharing this with you is important since I always talk about managing our thought-deliveries. Sometimes the ones that hang on need to be sorted and moved somewhere else, and sometimes they require deeper inspection.

The latter was the case for me.

What I'm about to share with you is not meant to make you feel bad for me, or bad for my soon to be ex-husband, or for you to take sides. Look, none of that matters in my life or his, we each have our own stories and plans to manage. I'm sharing this with you because a while ago I needed someone to share their experience with me - for me to learn and consider divorce as an option despite it being the opposite of everything I was told my whole life. It allowed me to give permission to both of us to consider it, and it allowed us both, ultimately, to be free.

So whether this episode resonates with you or not, keep it in mind in case someone you know might need it in the future.

And a final note before I proceed, I am NOT pro-divorce. I'm pro considering divorce. What feels better...knowing your partner WANTS to be with you or wondering if they do?

Something I heard a while back from someone was that they they check-in each year with their husband to see if they would choose each other again if they met today. And she was always excited that the answer was yes.

Oh, the emotions that came up for me when I first heard this. What if... what if they wouldn't? What if you have different answers? What if... What if...

00:07:54

That stayed with me for a while. Now, as you know if you've listened to me for a while, I've been cleaning up my thought-deliveries for years, and when I recorded the divorce episode I mentioned, the words of this person came back to me, and I also felt a bit horrified because if I was honest with myself, I had no proof based on recent experiences that my husband would choose me today - and I was fairly certain he wouldn't.

To be honest, I wasn't sure how I felt.

Anytime divorce did come up in topic he always said, "divorce isn't an option."

Maybe that was supposed to bring us comfort. I know he meant well. But it never brought me comfort and I really wasn't sure why until I had the courage to look deeper into my own thoughts. Which was really tough to do. Ultimately, I landed on when divorce isn't an option, then you're stuck. Does he feel stuck? Am I stuck? Are we both stuck? What if it was an option?

When you can't get out of something because you can't get out of something, what is really going on? Are you happily married to the love of your life and can't wait to grow old with them or is 'divorce not an option'. I wanted the former and I, honestly, wasn't feeling either of us were there.

While I sound pretty calm and peaceful about this, now, please know that I've done a lot of healing over the last five months. I've been sad. I've been angry. I've been overwhelmed - and you know I don't like using the word overwhelmed, but I chose it more than a few days and owned it.

Considering all of this was NOT easy.

There are a lot of reasons I've been less podcasty over the last few months and it is because I was working on myself a lot, and navigating this transition. It isn't easy. It sucks. It sucks big time and it is CRAZY scary.

00:09:45

Anyway, I'm a little all over the place, but six months or so after my Divorce in the Empty Nest episode aired, I (with the help of a margarita) I brought up the possibility of considering divorce to my husband. I don't even know what sparked it in the moment. It was my daughter's graduation weekend, we were away, and talking about the future - the two of us- and I guess I felt if I didn't say it now, I may never say it. What did I think was going to happen? Honestly, I had NO idea. I didn't actually think we'd get a divorce, to be honest.

I think I thought that we'd have a discussion, work through some things and realize that we are both overworked, exhausted and find maybe some hobbies to do together and work things out long-term. Rediscover some things missing in our relationship, and find a future together. I think I thought that was going to be the catalyst for that to happen.

Maybe that's what I thought.

But as the conversation continued, I found myself saying things like, "don't stay married to me because you have to provide for us, I'll figure things out." "don't stay married to me because divorce isn't an option, stay married to me because you love me, we have fun together and can't wait to do things together in this next part of life," and the final one, "I can't make you happy. Making you happy, isn't ultimately my job it is your job to figure out what makes you happy and if you do that better without me, you should. Life is too short." or something like that.

00:11:10

Let me tell you, it was scary. It was weird, and there wasn't a back and forth about but we don't really want that. It just was out there... that should have told me something. But I guess what was MORE scary, in the end, was living the rest of my life wondering if he really wanted to be with me. Pretty much knowing the answer but never having the courage to ask it because I was too scared.

Well, about 30 days after that margarita-filled conversation, my husband sat me down and said he wanted a divorce.

I radically accepted it in the moment. It was probably not what he expected, although he had done his research online and knew he was to be prepared to expect anything - and I have to say, that's good advice because we can't control other humans and we certainly can't pretend to know how they'll react. It was a bit shocking that he had already processed a lot of the details of it all. But, I guess, emotionally, I was prepared enough since I was the one who brought it up and allowed him to consider it.

00:12:10

Part of me was like, okay, I'm not crazy, he wasn't happy and I gave him the opportunity to be free and that felt good that I was able to do that for him - for both of us. Another part of me went into ' okay, what do we need to do mode,' - which I do that mode pretty well, [giggle] and then the last part of me was relieved - relieved that, again, I wasn't crazy. I - I felt his unhappiness around the house, and that maybe things will be more peaceful for both of us. And in the end we both deserve a relationship - should we choose to be in one in the future - that is supportive, loving and lifts us up.

ooooh kay - so there are a whole bunch of details and things that aren't really anyone's business that I'm not going to get into but all I can say is that while some things suck, and while I'm still trying to navigate a ton of things with the change, on the whole, the transition has been really good. The scariest part for me has been the financials as he's been the breadwinner since my daughter was born. Am I going to be okay? Of course. Is can be scary day to day, and that is where I work on my presence and not letting the doom possibilities to creep in. Although, as you probably know, some days that is easier than others.

I do want to share with you a handful of things that have helped me navigate the transition well.

00:13:31

  1. First, and most important, is Conscious Effective Olympian (C.E.O.) work - I have to say the work I've done over the last few years in clearing my thought-deliveries, discovering my own internal GPS, using it for guidance, in focusing on presence, and radical acceptance of what is was a the most important part of the, so far, fairly successful navigation of this transition.

There was a lot in what I just said, so feel free to listen to that again.

  1. Second: Therapy - I got a therapist! Someone who doesn't know me. Doesn't know my husband. Doesn't know my friends and family. And having that safe space to hear myself talk and process and remind me that I'm powerful and amazing and that things that I have been labeling one way might actually be something else - this has all been incredibly helpful. I recommend it to everyone - and as a coach, of course I do. Seriously, though, whether it is a coach or therapist - if you are navigating all of this, I hope you have a safe space to process things. If you can't afford it, try my next thing which I did a ton before I started therapy.
  2. And that's number three: Nature, nature and more nature. Just get out in Nature. A lot. As much as you can. It was my lifeline. I'm sorry if this is a bit too woo for you but I really feel a person's energy and the energy in our household wasn't great over the last year or so. I don't always know where energy that drains me comes from, but I feel it and it impacts me. And I need to escape the energy drain to ground myself. Getting out in nature does that for me. I walked sooo much just after we moved here and before my husband and I had our final discussion... and if you have been listening or following me on the socials for a while, I've been sharing my nature walks with you. I can't say enough about getting outside and experiencing it all with all of your available senses. Combine that with a piece of paper and pencil or journal to process what comes up while you're outside and you may gain insights that surprise you - I know I did! I actually keep a pen and piece of paper in my walking vest.
  3. Number four: move things. Physically move things. This is for those of you who are staying in the house that you lived in together with your partner. If you have a spare room, maybe consider moving into that one, or change your furniture layout completely, and don't be afraid to move things around the house to make it feel like it's different - or new - or just yours. This is boots-on-the-ground tactical help that I found by accident, and it helped me separate myself from the relationship while still living where the relationship existed. My daughter and I started with the living room and decorated it in a fun bug theme (really cute bugs) and then we added things that make us happy and smile - that are ours. We did it on a budget - and used Facebook marketplace and Goodwill for much of it.

00:16:44

And one of the best things I've done - I kind of wish I did it sooner is that my daughter and I switched bedrooms. It really isn't easy living where you lived with your partner (and we weren't even in this space together long) but with all [of] their things, the way furniture was setup and more, it makes it difficult to move past things on the daily when there are constant reminders. I certainly don't want to negate our history together and our marriage, but I prefer to have moments where I choose to have the reminders rather than having them forced upon me minute upon minute upon hour upon day - well, you get the idea.

ANYWAY, giving my daughter the master bedroom with on-suite bathroom may seem wild to some people and while we did it initially because her room is warm, mine was cold and we both would prefer heat-wise to be in opposite rooms, the switch made sense us. But, ultimately, the change has been so good for me, mentally. It is fully my space. It's cozy. I got a new mattress - thanks again, Helix, got new bedding and am really making it my own.

My husband is in his new space- and I feel like I have my new cozy space here. I love it and it has been one of the best things for my mental health. I feel like I have a new home without having a new home, if that makes sense. Do you have to do this? Of course not but I would definitely consider something like this if you are having trouble living in the space you were in with your partner and can't move.

One day I'll get to the boxes and photos and all that - one day.

00:18:15

  1. My final tip for this transition is YNAB - I can't praise YNAB enough. I remember a friend telling me about YNAB - it stands for You Need a Budget - years ago she told me and I have had it on my radar for this entire time. Hubby wasn't sold on it when I mentioned it a while back, so, literally days after the divorce discussion I purchased my YNAB subscription.

How funny is that?

And within another day, I had gone through all of my finances, decided how much I was going to have to earmark to live off of while we transitioned all the things over the next few months. This has been life-changing for me. I could honestly talk about YNAB for three full episodes but I'll spare you. [giggle] YNAB if you ever listen and want to talk sponsorship, I'm a HUGE fan - consider me!

Anyway, and if you, my listener, have never heard of YNAB, You Need a Budget, please check it out - divorce, married, single, whatever your status - my ADHD brain loves it so much and I even gifted a subscription to my daughter who already has enjoyed the value of it.

Seriously, finances are a HUGE thing with a divorce - I mean, I guess if you have millions, maybe not, but, yeah, umm, if you can't tell...that isn't me. [giggle] Just in case you had any remaining doubt. [giggle]

00:19:42

[music interlude]

Wow, this was a lot. Long story short, life is too short to be in a relationship that doesn't serve you, or your partner well. Sunk costs are that - sunk - we can't get them back: time in a relationship, energy we put in, money spent, decisions made. We can't change that and when we use those to keep us trapped forward we are - trapped. There is a great (under 5 minute) video that explains sunk costs that I'll link it in the show notes - in case you need a refresher and to hear it explained well from someone else about multiple things.

A great way to proceed forward without focusing on the sunk costs is to imagine yourself being dropped into your life, right where you are now - without all of the invested time, money and energy - would you fight being dropped into your life where you are now, and if so, why? What is scary about it? What would you change? What is stopping you from changing it right now? or would you happily be dropped in and be ready to stay forever?

Honestly, it can be tough to consider this and it takes bravery for most of us.

Where am I now with it all? Well, after our initial divorce discussion, both of us went back and forth at some point on do we want to try this - nah, we don't - well, maybe... do we we did even a brief 'let's date period' too but in the end - the answer was no.

Where we are now is a fairly amicable divorce. Sure, there are things I miss, and there are a lot of things I really don't miss. Right now, my home is happy. There is laughter. I can be myself all of the time now, and I like myself. I am pretty freaking cool, but I'm also a lot for some people. And if that means I need to be alone, or with someone else who can handle my a lot-ness, I'm okay with that. I'm proud of who I am. Faults and all. And I certainly have faults, we all do. But I do love to learn, I love to level-up my life and myself, I love to laugh, I don't take life too seriously and I wanna to be at the end of my life knowing I lived it fully.

So where I am now is peaceful, excited to see what is ahead for me - that includes the tough moments as well as the beautiful moments.

And as for divorce, it is something I've experienced. It is not who I am, so I while I'm not going to hide it but I also am not going to rehash it over and over because, my friend, I have enjoying the journey and living life at the top of my to do list and that means moving forward.

00:22:23

[music]

Ask Coach Christine - N/A

This episode is going to be longer so I'm gonna cut a couple of segments, but I was recently asked on TikTok, "Do you have any advice for telling my parents that I use they/them pronouns now? I know it's a big change in how they'll see me."

I actually did two video responses for this one and I'll link both in my show notes.

The first one was congratulating the person asking for discovering who they are, finding pronouns that resonate with them, and having the courage to use the new pronouns, and I'm excited for them. My wish and hope is that their parents hold space for them, and are able to listen in a loving manner when they are told.

The second video was a hotline video for parents, and managed to fit my response into a one minute video - it's always fun when my alter ego, Sally, is able to jump in.

I hope these help and that the conversation goes well!

00:23:15

[quirky music under segment]

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you?

You can find me on two recent podcast interviews and I have two more scheduled this week!

First up is episode 8 of The Pursuit of Evolution podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and resilience educator, Casey Jourdan. Casey and I chat about my daughter heading off to college early, the power of radical acceptance, I talk a bit about my marriage separation and what life is like now with my daughter back home. And I love what Casey shares about her return home from her time in the military at a young age, as well as how her relationship with her mother changed after her parents' divorce.

Next up is episode 82 of the Mama Mindset podcast hosted by Amy Cothren, another incredible woman. Amy's a stay at home mom to three girls. Amy's crushing podcasting and giving so much of herself to lift up other stay at home mothers. She wanted to know how to prepare for the empty nest when our kids are young. We talk about homeschooling my daughter, how I entered the empty nest, steps to take at any point in parenting to prepare (or try to prepare) for the empty nest years, dealing with our parents' empty nesting, and Amy's red tape - that is worth the listen! And wow, can Amy assemble great promo materials for her guests - seriously, she tagged me in some amazing videos - thank you, Amy!

00:24:45

Let’s find the funny!

[giggles from others]

If you know me at all, you know I love to laugh. Humor is therapy for me and yes, while, I'm related to one of the co-hosts, wow, the Wonka Watch podcast has me laughing out loud in every episode at least once or twice if not a ton more. And the funny part is I've usually heard most of it before it's live - yet it continues to make me laugh. So, if you don't mind raw humor with cursing, and want to listen to two of the most creative and the funniest humans I know talk about Willy Wonka - check it out.

00:24:31

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  How do you feel about divorce - in your life and in the lives of others?

and Question 2:  What area of your life do you need to take a closer look at?

Wrap-up

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoy this episode please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow the show in your favorite podcast player!

As always, you'll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. A special thanks to SupaPass, my current employer and what powers our GPS Support Flock Community - you can join today while I prepare for it's official launch in 2022!

I’ll be back with a new episode in a couple of weeks or so - it will be another affirmation episode, like my last one. I haven't yet decided on the topic, so let me know if you have a request.

My beautiful friend, life likes to keep us guessing, doesn't it? Enjoying the journey - filling your life with peace is possible even when life throws you a curveball or two - or ten. You can handle it all I have absolutely no doubt! Don't forget it, and as always, never forget that you are amazing.

Chat next time!

[end music]

[00:26:53]

[bloopers]

00:27:11

Are you still listening?

Take a deep breath in, my friend. Let the air out. Take another deep breath in and as you breathe in imagine positive energy, good thought-deliveries and peace filling you from head to toe. Imagine they push aside negative thoughts and energy and force them to escape with your next breath out. Repeat this as necessary.

[end music]

[end]

153: Listen to this episode when the holidays are approaching 💚

153: Listen to this episode when the holidays are approaching 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Thanks for stopping by!

I'd love to know if you find this episode helpful in any way. 

Looking for the printable transcript? Click here to register and gain access! 


 

Holiday Topics Included

  • Your adult/emerging adult child is home for the holidays

  • Your family stresses you out

  • You are alone

  • Dealing with parental guilt

  • Mourning a loved one

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"My amazing friend, I'm not here to become your guru or advice provider. Nah, that's way too much pressure for me, to be honest. I'm here to guide you on a path to discover how to use you as your own internal GPS, and I'll cheer you all along the way."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Listen to @emptynestcoach 's 🎙podcast episode: Listen to this episode when the holidays are approaching  💚 #collegeparents #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode ▶

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Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42  Podcast Intro
  • 01:10   Why am I creating these episodes? 
  • 03:23  How to use the GPS Reset exercises/affirmations
  • 05:13  The topic is holidays
  • 05:50  When your emerging adult child is home for the holidays
  • 08:30  When visiting family stresses you out 
  • 10:52   When you are alone during the holidays
  • 13:25    When you have parental holiday guilt
  • 16:56    When you are mourning a loved one

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 153

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Listen to this episode when the HOLIDAYS are approaching.

Hello, amazing human! This episode is a little different from my normal episode. It is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. I did these in Clubhouse when I was active there and titled them GPS Reset exercises. My tentative plan is to do one episode of these a month with supporting documents in our Empty Nest Success online space.

For those of you who are new here, I will include my normal intro- go ahead; for those of you who are used to it, tap that 30-second forward button and dive right in. You'll also find time markers to topic sections in the show notes - you may need to tap details or more (depending on what app you are using to listen) to view those. Thanks for listening. Here we go.

00:00:42

[up beat music]

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:01:10

Why am I making these episodes?

Well, that's a great question! I've had people reach out to me through social direct messages, emails, and sometimes voice messages - in those messages they share with me that while they are doing their thing: walking, doing chores, having conversations in their head - you know, living their life, they'll hear my voice in their head saying something they've heard me say on the podcast. And sometimes, that allows them to reframe the situation they're in.

For those of you who this is true for - or for who it may become true for, I want to assist a bit more by creating some affirmations and positive thoughts - these GPS Resets - for key moments in your life. These are events that might lead you to sit back and allow your protector to take over and run your life. Your protector (or what some view as our ego) does this because they take their job seriously, and they want to - protect you - but when they take over, we, as humans, never get to consider other possibilities in life. We are limited in how we experience moments, and our true selves continue to hide away -missing yet another opportunity to live life, figure out who we are, and to grow - missing out on allowing our own internal GPS to build strength.

Sure, doing this work may mean we experience moments that are incredibly raw and filled with emotion - trust me - I've been experiencing a ton of this myself over the last few years - and especially this year. It is, after all, MUCH easier to allow our protector to- protect us. It's easier to walk through life on auto-pilot.

00:02:50

Here's the thing. It is your life.

You get to choose how to proceed. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other what you choose to do - I'd love to see you choose you - but ultimately, it's all you to decide, my amazing friend.

Ask yourself, do I want to sleepwalk through life, or do I want to consciously wake up and begin - or continue to - consider the thoughts in my mind?

All of these things are why I am creating these episodes. To begin you on your journey of considering your thoughts.

00:03:23

[computer game level-up music (short)]

My amazing friend, I'm not here to become your guru or advice provider. Nah, that's way too much pressure for me, to be honest. I'm here to guide you on a path to discover how to use you as your own internal GPS, and I'll cheer you all along the way.

And with that in mind, what is even more powerful than hearing MY voice in your mind, is to hear YOUR voice in your mind.

If you are short on time, and one of these affirmations really resonates with you, use them as is. However, if you're ready for the next step, I encourage you to pop over to our Empty Nest Success online space, where you will find a PDF of the full transcript of this episode. Download it , copy the text that works for you, modify it, adjust words that don't resonate with you, and replace them with better ones - ones that work for you! Be genuine to you; imagine your future self talking to you now, and what would they want to say to you? When you have text that resonates with you, open your voice app on your phone, record it in your voice - title it appropriately so you can find it quickly and get listening.

If you are like me - I have an ADHD brain - it may take you a while to get used to remember you have it on your phone as an option, but one day you will remember... and then you'll find messages for all sorts of times that you can reference whenever you need them. You may even find yourself creating your own for times that you know you'll need them for.

May this encourage and inspire you going forward.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for gifting yourself with this - future you and I are cheering you on, my amazing friend - you're taking one more step toward becoming the Conscious Effective Olympian (the C.E.O.) of your life!

00:05:13

[computer game level-up music (short)]

HOLIDAYS

The focus for today's GPS Reset Exercises is HOLIDAYS. Initially, I was going to focus on Thanksgiving, but what I found in preparing this is that the general holiday season brings up similar themes for most of us.

I have five versions of this for you. In each version, I'm going to say them and then leave space for you to repeat what I say. That's how they're meant to be used. I covered the five first instances that came to my mind with my limited time available. Hopefully, if your holiday status isn't covered, this will inspire you to make your own version. Check my show notes to jump to the title that resonates with you, or enjoy them all.

00:05:50

[computer game level-up music (short)]

This GPS Reset Exercise is for when your Adult/Emerging Adult Children are Home for the Holidays

With the holidays ahead, I know the energy in my home is about to change as my children return home. I gift myself with patience as I navigate the emotions that arise in me. I gift my children with love, love, and more love. I take a deep breath in and out and let go of the roles we have filled in the past. I take another deep breath in and out and consider the opportunity I have to get to know my child(ren) all over again. Releasing past experiences, releasing future expectations, [and] Setting loving boundaries ahead of time, if needed. Lovingly communicating with my adult child and understanding that I can fill a new role of support going forward: the safe space, the listener, and the cheerleader - even when they share dreams and goals that scare me. I gift myself now with time to consider how I would like to proceed in our relationship first letting go of all past and prior expectations. I am an amazing human. I am worth gifting myself this time now to discover how I would like to change things in the future. Be it my relationship with my children and, more importantly, with myself. I will embrace the chaos when it happens, laugh when I can, cry when I need to, and everything in between. I am worth this time. I am worth this work. I am an amazing human ready to embrace the holidays.

00:08:30

[computer game level-up music (short)]

This GPS Reset Exercise is for when Visiting family that stresses you out.

With the holidays ahead, there is an expectation that I will spend time with my family. Some of my family members drain my energy. I take a deep breath in and out as I consider who just came to mind. I take another deep breath in and out and consider: do I HAVE to spend time with them over the holidays? - Knowing the answer may surprise me. I gift myself with time now to consider ways to navigate holiday time with them I consider loving boundary statements to have on hand should I need to gift myself with time away from them. I am doing the work to discover who I am, and as I do that, it sometimes makes it evident who I need space from in order to take care of myself. I am worth that. I need to protect myself and my family; I deserve the gift. No one will do it for me, but I can do it for myself. I will remember that one small change in this area is a HUGE change for me, and I will be patient as I begin to protect my energy. I am an amazing human. I am worth this uncomfortable work, and I'm ready to embrace the holidays with love, boundaries, and a dash of humor.

00:10:52

[computer game level-up music (short)]

This GPS Reset Exercise is for when you are Alone During the Holidays

With the holidays ahead, there is a societal expectation that I will spend time with family and friends. As of right now, I have no plans. I take a deep breath in and a deep breath out as I consider what I am making this mean. I take another deep breath in and a deep breath out to consider if I want to be alone or not. I take another deep breath; in let it out to consider if the answer is no; I will consider all of the ways I could not be alone and virtual meetings count!

When I am happy being alone, I give myself permission to enjoy the quiet. When I'd rather not be alone, I provide a safe space to myself to consider out-of-the-box ideas on how to share my life with others. I deserve time to rest; I deserve time to rejuvenate myself. I am patient with myself as I figure out what I want this holiday and for future holidays. Being alone, I have the opportunity to break traditions and make my own. I will embrace the things that bring me joy. I will do things on this day that make me feel rested, peaceful and seek out some laughter. I will feel my emotions knowing I am strong enough to process through them. I am an amazing human, whether I'm in a room full of people or whether I'm by myself.

00:13:25

[computer game level-up music (short)]

This GPS Reset Exercise is for Holiday Parental Guilt

With the holidays ahead, I gift myself with focusing on my own family. I take the time to release comparisons that my mind likes to do with others who I might believe are "doing it better," whatever that means. I take a deep breath in, let it out ,and release any ideas of what others do. I take another deep breath in, and out, as I release any thoughts that I may be "less than" in my role as a parent. With one more deep breath in and out I release expectations that I have for myself that haven't been placed there from a source of love and understanding of my life, abilities, and financial status.

I am an amazing human who has done the best I could in every moment. I remind myself that hindsight is 2020 that I can't change the past, but I can be ever-present in the present, and there is no greater gift to give my child than being a safe space for them than being a good listener and cheering them on I gift myself with removing any assumptions I have about them I will remind myself that my children have their own struggles their own dreams their own emotions and that those may be vastly different from mine That doesn't make theirs wrong or mine wrong. I will gift myself in noticing my thoughts about them, and about myself. I will choose thoughts that bring me peace. I will remember to be the best me that I can be in every moment that is all anyone can ask of me, and I'm freaking amazing anyway, so I'm going to be my best amazing self this holiday that I can be in each and every moment knowing that my best self is different moment to moment and that, is an incredible gift I can give to me, and when I take care of myself my children will learn to honor their amazing self. I'm ready for this holiday, and I'm going to enjoy each moment.

00:16:56

[computer game level-up music (short)]

This GPS Reset Exercise is for Holidays While Mourning A Loved One

I am here in this moment, right now. I have had a lot to process over the last year or years, and I know that the holidays will bring up emotions of my loved ones that aren't here with me. I give myself extreme permission to feel those emotions. I also give myself extreme permission to feel opposing emotions. I remind myself that it is perfectly fine for me to feel peaceful. It is more than okay for me to laugh, and, yes, I can have happiness while I continue to mourn.

I will cherish memories; I will make new ones. I remind myself that the new memories do not erase past memories. They are simply new memories. I will take deep breaths in and out as I navigate the holiday ahead without my loved one. I miss them. And that is okay. I wish they were here. And that is okay. I will notice my thoughts, process my emotions and then pull myself into the present - where I am now. I will notice things I didn't notice before. I will look for beauty everywhere, and I will fiercely love myself in every moment. I will enjoy time I have with those I have the honor to spend time with. Most of all, I will gift myself with tremendous love and patience. I will gift myself with discovering what I need - whether it is to be in a room full of people or to spend some time alone. There is no right or wrong answer - there is what I need. I gift myself with that, and I remember through it all that I am freaking amazing.

That's all I have for today. Remember, make these your own. Take what resonates, and leave the rest. Modify them - record it for yourself.

[up beat music]

You have an amazing tool, friend - it is your powerful mind - and I encourage you to use it for you rather than against you. You've got this, and have a wonderful, peaceful, thought-conscious-filled season. You are amazing!

You are amazing!

[End]