30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Gift Yourself With…💚 (24/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Gift Yourself With…💚 (24/30)

In this podcast episode, Coach Christine reminds you to gift yourself throughout your life.

"The next time you begin to think of yourself moving forward in life, imagine someone who loves themself. Imagine someone who knows who they are, someone who willingly and maybe even a little protectively holds space for themself..."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 03:58 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The next time you begin to think of yourself moving forward in life, imagine someone who loves themself. Imagine someone who knows who they are, someone who willingly and maybe even a little protectively holds space for themself..."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 191

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Gift Yourself With…💚 (24/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Gift Yourself With… is our topic for today (Day 24) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, if you have spent decades not thinking about what might be best for yourself, I have some things to share with you. 

What if… by gifting yourself with something (be it time, energy, or an activity, etc.)... what if by knowing you're worth it, that you’ll then be able to show up in a new and exciting way for others in your life? 

It is incredibly easy to have days, weeks, months, and years go by where we put ourselves on the back burner. Life has a way of doing that to us. 

If this resonates with you, today can be a new day for you - or tomorrow. Actually, every moment you have the opportunity to treat yourself better. 

Here’s [are] some things to think about: The next time you begin to think of yourself moving forward in life, imagine someone who loves themself. Imagine someone who knows who they are, someone who willingly and maybe even a little protectively holds space for themself. Someone who loves trying new things - or maybe one new thing [giggle] - someone who isn’t afraid to be curious and explore the positive what ifs in their life. 

These gifts to yourself, also, don't all have to have a financial impact, either. 

The “gift yourself with” can certainly be things like dance classes, a vacation, (big things), but they can also be things like sleeping in one day, maybe hitting the snooze alarm because you know, you really don't have to be up that early. It could be buying yourself flowers. It could be taking an extra long walk one day. 

In the “gift yourself with” life, I encourage you to come up with a fun list of things that you find yourself thinking (even if you are half-serious), “Hey, I would really love to do that - or try that. It might be fun.” 

What if you create a list like this? What if you give it a super fun title that is all your own? 

You don't have to do them all - or any of them, really. It’s just a list. Have fun with it and don’t edit it - you can do that later.

Create the list, read the list, imagine things on the list, dream about things on the list, research things on the list and then when you are ready see what small thing (or maybe big thing) you would love to do for “realsy” - and feel free then to cross off and edit away things that when you have imagined them, maybe they don’t feel as fun as you might have originally thought. 

When you do gift yourself with it (whatever it is) provide yourself the time, the energy and the space to do it without guilt - just as you do with all of the other top of the toolbox items. That's important. Consciously choosing to do the thing… whatever it is, allows you to be in a better space for the enjoyment of the activity and when that activity wraps up. 

Consciously gift yourself with guilt free list items - Have fun!

03:58

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Reflect on a time when you prioritized someone else's needs over your own, at a time when it wasn't even necessary. Did it have an impact on your well-being? Was it positive or negative?  

04:15

[level-up music] 

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, have fun creating your list and gifting yourself with list items, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)

In this podcast episode, a reminder that all of this is your work to do.

"If your choices and actions don’t impact them [others] directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic: The first meaning of "This is Your Work To Do"
  • 06:04 Adding to our analogy
  • 09:32 The second meaning of "This Is Your Work To Do" 
  • 11:30 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…


For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"If your choices and actions don’t impact them [others] directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 190

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: This Is Your Work To Do💚 (23/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

This is Your Work To Do is our topic for today (Day 23) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, most of how I deliver content to you online goes against what is taught in online marketing courses. I have this core belief, now, that my message will reach those who need it when they are ready. Also, the more I create in an inspired fashion, the more those who need it will find me.

While over the last five years I have had some moments where, yes, I have fallen into the “traditional” way to market, I have spent the last 18 months or so deconstructing it. Following the content topics that I share with you and applying them to everything I do as well. Which means there has been a lot of letting go for me, a fair amount of breaks to reset myself and the reminder of why I originally started this all.

The beauty in believing that those who are looking for my content will find it, means I also strongly believe that if someone isn’t aligned with what I share, that’s all good - there are so many humans in this beautifully diverse world delivering similar messages in their own unique ways. 

You may be wondering, “What does this have to do with today’s topic?”

It has everything to do with it.

When I say “This is your work to do.” I have two meanings there.

The first one is to Of COURSE, trust your gut, your instincts, your inner guidance, God, the Universe- whatever label you choose to use.

Beautiful human, whether you are starting a blog, trying a new career, or hobby, planning a dinner or a vacation, there are plenty of other humans who are happy to provide assistance to you - often with a cost -  (and sometimes, whether you ask for it or not). 

This is wonderful when you know what you are looking for and find it. But, if you haven’t yet done some mental decluttering it is easy to be led by other people’s idea of what is best for you. When you know what resonates with your soul and find those who match up with it - wow - so much fun. 

The more you are able to declutter your thought-box-deliveries, train Your Protector and live the Conscious Effective Olympian life, the easier this all becomes.  

You may be wondering why I waited until episode 23 of this challenge to share this topic.  

It’s a fair point but it was done consciously. First of all, if you’ve started from day 1 and are continuing to work through this, you more than likely feel aligned with these topics, and may have even begun trying some of them. 

Imagine if I had opened with this topic. 

Most humans aren’t even close to being ready to consider that they know what is best for themselves - that feels overwhelming - and when I tell them they might have an internal guidance system they’re just like, “yeah, right.” 

Until we, as humans, begin to realize how powerful our thoughts are and that they are optional, it is practically impossible to consider that we might have our own internal guidance system. You may have noticed that I interchange the words internal guidance system, inner guidance, inner selves and your internal GPS often - please call this whatever you like and what resonates best with you. 

You might want to call it your gut or your soul. Whatever you choose to label it, you may reach a point where you feel promptings, you begin to  “get” and feel led on what you need or want to do next. You may even be shocked to find that eventually the need to share your plans and ideas with others is diminished -  After all, itt is a rare human who will show up for you (for us, in general) without their own thought-box deliveries that come into the mix.

Over time, you’ll begin to notice where you start to detour off into other people’s ideas of what you “should do” and eventually you will learn which of these deliveries belong permanently outside of your fence.

Keep in mind that others mean no harm: They have their own inner guidance which may not be available to them - or they may have some clarity on their own internal guidance but at the end of the day it is THEIR experience and THEIR guidance, not yours.

04:57

Consciously choosing to ask someone you trust or you know has more life experience than you, for their feedback so that you can then do what you will with it is a much better place than continually allowing other people’s thought-box-deliveries to clutter your space.

If your choices and actions don’t impact them directly, or they don’t bring you to a “hell, yes” then proceed careful - not carefully - consciously. 

When you have time to review interactions, ask yourself: How does what they are sharing with you make you feel? And then tune into those things.

This isn’t supposed to be stressful either. You are where you are. Personally, I’ve found most days I get a laugh or two out of it. Not all days - I’m still human, but I don’t dwell on these interactions as much when I catch myself in the reaction mode. 

I take stock, see what I’ve learned and move on - looking for something that brings me joy, fun or laughter. 

Some days I’m better at this than others. 

06:04

Let’s return to our ever-building analogy. 

Try this one: Imagine that you install an intercom system outside of your fence. When someone arrives at your fence and immediately starts talking into the intercom, rather than immediately giving them your full attention, what if you pay attention to how what they are saying is making you feel? 

Does it resonate with you? Does it apply to you? Did you ask for it? And come up with your own questions, too. 

If you find what they’re sharing isn’t beneficial to you, it’s time to train Your Protector to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” In real life, this can look like diverting a conversation topic, excusing yourself, or something else. 

This all may sound like a lot but when you understand that everything you choose to allow within your fence takes up your resources that could be spent on things that bring you joy, why WHY would you give it any more mental real estate than it deserves? 

The energy or vibration in your thoughts, in your body, and around you should be protected.

Every single time that you focus on yourself in the decision making; in the “what should I do next?” and you begin to learn to trust what does work / what doesn't work… you learn a bit more about yourself. Be curious about what your gut feeling is telling you - and continue to learn from it. 

Start with a few inconsequential topics and go from there. 

Have you popped over to a thought like, “so, Christine, are you telling me that I don’t have to listen to anyone ever?”. Maybe that’s what you are hearing but it is not what I’m saying. This is life.  There are loved ones, colleagues, and strangers who may share things that weren’t on our mind - and we choose to show up with the space to listen and support, because that feels good to do. 

Pay attention to your why in those moments. People can feel that. Are you doing this because of habit? People feel that. Are you doing this because you are supposed to, to be polite. Notice your emotions, and don’t be afraid to change the subject. 

Let’s think about your to-do list in life … and your “WORK.”

Really, truly, at the end of the day, there aren't many things in life that you HAVE to do. Look around and you’ll find someone who doesn’t do the thing you think you have to do and somehow they are still getting by - maybe it’s not in a way that looks good or appropriate to you - or fun- or exciting but that is where you get to design your life going forward - and when this is done consciously  - it becomes an adventure. 

Pay attention to the things that you wish you could do, but you feel like you can’t. Then search out and seek out people who are doing it. What’s their life look like? Have fun with this!

In wrapping up the first meaning of “this is your work to do”, is to say that discovering your own plan of work is powerful. Take a look at your to-do list. Clean it up. Make it smaller. Maybe pick up the book that you are drawn to but feels a bit intimidating because no one else you know is reading that. Try things, learn things about you and have so much fun! Look for the fun. 

09:32

The second meaning of “This is Your Work to do, “ is that this isn’t something that because it resonates with you, you need to relay it and force upon everyone else in your life. Yes, you may experience some super fun aha moments, some amazing changes in your own life, and that is incredible! 

Others may celebrate with you but they also may be confused as you holy cow, are you showing up differently. If they ask, sure, tell them but be considerate that most of us resonate with concepts when we are ready for them and when we are seeking them. This applies to everything really. Just because your inner self is ready doesn’t mean those around you will be too. You might  even annoy them. 

Additionally, if you’ve made changes that work for you, it doesn’t mean it will work for others. You don’t know what is in their fence and in their house. Sometimes, we as humans are in fire fighting mode and someone who is happy simply annoys us. I’m willing to bet there are points in your life where you’ve been there and can understand this. The best thing you can do is do these activities for yourself so that you can be brighter, clearer, and more effective in all that you do. And if someone does ask, share what feels right. But ultimately, have fun getting to know yourself better! That’s what this is all about.

A final note, I did use the word “work” in this episode and title and that is because it is one that resonates with most people. That being said, I actively try not to use the word “work” in my own daily life. Joyous investment in my evolution is my personal go to phrase but I’m gonna keep it simple for this challenge. If you want to learn more about why I’ve chosen not to use the word work in my life, listen to episode 157 in season 1 of my podcast

11:30

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Write about a time when you trusted your intuition or inner voice despite it not being aligned with others - and it led, still, to a positive outcome.

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, remember this is your work to do, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Your Future Self Has Your Back 💚 (22/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Your Future Self Has Your Back 💚 (22/30)

In this podcast episode, I share a powerful activity.

"Things I choose to believe is that your future self is really proud of you - of all that you are doing; and they’re excited for all the things that you're going to do to get them to where they are in the future."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:43 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 04:23 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Things I choose to believe is that your future self is really proud of you - of all that you are doing; and they’re excited for all the things that you're going to do to get them to where they are in the future. "

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 190

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This  (22/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Your Future Self Has Your Back is our topic for today (Day 22) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:43

Amazing human and beautiful soul, we are piggybacking off our last episode. We've covered a lot of topics already in this challenge, and sometimes we just need to be reminded that we’ve done well. 

When you look back in your life, and consider the moments when your child was super young and you had a decision to make that in the moment felt as if nothing else mattered, and now with decade or so  of experience you know it may not have been quite the big deal you were making it out to be back then.  

Some examples might be for you … 

What preschool you send them too - or IF they attended preschool at all; breastfeeding or not breastfeeding; how about diaper brand you chose to use? And, as they got older it may have transitioned into what activities you encouraged, what opportunities they had, and so on. 

Our younger selves really managed to navigate it all. And while looking back, you might do things differently, today, past you did great with the knowledge, resources, finances and opportunities that they had then. 

But, consider if you could go back in time and lovingly tell yourself a few things, what would those things be? 

 Would it be…. 

Chill out more. Look for more fun and lean into the moments where your child is asking for your attention? 

Would it be…

Life is short, you are here and you got me where I am today. I’m so thankful for your dedication and I’m cheering you on. 

Would it be… 

Yeah, that thing sucked but those people weren’t your people anyway.

Would it be…

Wow, you were handed a ton of chaos, and yeah, you still have it now. I see you, you’ve learned a lot already and we’ll continue to learn more as we go. 

Would it be… 

Trust your gut more. You were right about more than a few things. 

Whatever you would say to your past self… make sure it is kind, loving, uplifting and encouraging. A fun thing to do is write down the things you think of. And here’s why… because here we are today, in this moment with new stressors of sorts, things that we feel are super important, that have our thoughts hostage, while there will one day be a version of us that is 10, 20, 30, 40 plus years in the future that will look back today - at us lovingly - and would want to tell us something. There’s a good chance that the primary message wouldn’t be too different from what you’d want to say to your past self. 

Things I choose to believe is that your future self is really proud of you - of all that you are doing; and they’re excited for all the things that you're going to do to get them to where they are in the future. Think about it, they wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for you making the choices you make. Whew - it’s a bit of a mind-blowing when you think about it, isn’t it? That thought might come natural for you, or it might be a bit mind-blowing.

I love knowing that there is a future version of me cheering me on. She knows everything I’m experiencing in her soul, as she’s been me,  and knows all the energy it has taken me to do all the things. Thinking about your future self can be a fun thing to add to your life.

You don’t need to tell anyone, either. This can be your secret cheering section in your life. Enjoy this one!

04:23

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is …What advice would you give to your younger self? Write it down and how does it feel to say to yourself  now?

 04:36

[level-up music]

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, your future self is cheering you on and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This 💚 (21/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This 💚 (21/30)

In this podcast episode, a reminder of how incredible you are.

"You are freaking amazing and please embrace who you are fully as you take on the rest of your life. The world needs you to be you; no one else can do it better."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:44 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 03:36 Journal Prompt 

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!

You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"You are freaking amazing and please embrace who you are fully as you take on the rest of your life. The world needs you to be you; no one else can do it better."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 189

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Know Your Badass Self Has Got This  (21/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Know your badass self has got this is our topic for today (Day 21) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

0:44

Amazing human and beautiful soul…. I know that while these episodes have been short, they have had a lot of heavy content within them. Content that if you're already consciously living your life, you're probably thinking something along the lines of “Yes, I get it. Thanks for the reminder, Christine!” However, if this is something, or some of these things are things you've never considered before it may take some time to let them sink in and for you to feel comfortable considering them and to understand what you, yourself want to do with them, if anything. 

You are worthy. You are amazing. 

You, amazing human, have navigated life on the spinning rock for decades. You have raised a child - or children. Your child or children may have left, be considering leaving the nest, or may be heading back to the nest.

The one thing, looking back over your life, that you'll probably be able to say is: a lot of things have happened that you never would have expected, that you couldn't have possibly planned for either.

This being said, you have made it here, today - to this moment! You have learned lessons, gained things, lost things, you have lived incredible moments in your life, that have helped to create you who you are right here in this moment.

The reason why I know that your badass self can handle what's in your future (or your now) is because look how much you’ve done to get to where you are today. And, let’s be honest, most of the time, we are making this up as we go, aren't we? 

You are freaking amazing and please embrace who you are fully as you take on the rest of your life. The world needs you to be you; no one else can do it better. 

As always, I’m cheering you on, and so is your future self. More on that, though, in our next episode. 

02:57

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Make a list of challenges you have faced over time and that you have overcome. Reflect on how they made you stronger and more resilient.

And an extra activity: Look in the mirror and say, "I am a badass!"

[exit music - upbeat]

Hey, badass, thanks for listening today, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing!  

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Questions to Ask Around Emotions 💚 (20/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Questions to Ask Around Emotions 💚 (20/30)

In this podcast episode, I share another exercise you can use on your way to becoming the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life.

"Trust that over time, the more that you do this, the easier it will become, the more fun it will become, the sillier life becomes, and we’re not looking for perfection."

This Episode is Brought to You By

Looking for an episode transcript? You'll find it below! 

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:42 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 08:01 Journal Prompt

Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 1-920-LIFEWIN (1-920-543-3946). 📞

Legal disclaimer: Listening to this podcast doesn't make Christine your official coach, and this podcast is not meant to replace your doctor or therapist. Curious? Click here for the deets!


You may be interested in…

For those who are freaking out about the empty nest years. It is time to make the rest of your life the best of your life!


Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Trust that over time, the more that you do this, the easier it will become, the more fun it will become, the sillier life becomes, and we’re not looking for perfection."

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 188

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Questions to Ask Around Emotions  (20/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Questions to ask when your emotions sound an alert  is our topic for today (Day 20) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, we have another top of the toolbox item today:  are you ready to unlock your inner Sherlock Holmes to inspect some of those thought-box-deliveries? 

If you began with [the] getting started episode and have worked your way through, by now, you know the analogy - your mind being like a house, there’s a fence, a protector who you are beginning to train and you have thought-box-deliveries being sent inside your home all the time.

Imagine now that you’ve done the process mentioned in our last episode - you are feeling a bit better from some tough emotions and are ready to take a look at a couple of the  thought-box-deliveries that hit you earlier. 

Let’s work through a hypothetical example: maybe, your child is in college and they declare (one day) that they want to leave.You may initially jump right into reaction mode - your Protector puts you on high alert and you begin to react. Then, you consciously notice what’s going on inside your mind and that you haven’t really considered that this may not be the best time to react suddenly and make ultimatums. Ultimately, maybe you land where your reaction mode takes you, but, trust me, you’ll feel better if you consciously make that decision from a loving space rather than a defensive reactive space.  

When you are in a space where you are ready to consider what this really means, and how to proceed, you’ll discover that outside of your fence is your child’s consideration of leaving college. Yes, it’s outside of your fence. 

The action of them telling you this news, creates alerts from your Protector and many thoughts come barreling in. Usually, it’s something like, “You have to graduate from college;” “But this wasn’t the plan;”  And we may not admit it but one of the internal thoughts is “How is this going to look to everybody?” And that’s outside of our fence, too. 

02:43

So, now for the activity. 

Begin to ask the 5 W questions that we learned in (was it) middle school? Elementary school?: Who, What, Where, When & Why.

Let’s inspect our example with some possibilities on how this would play out. 

First, we’ll start with what: What is the thought you are having? While you may have multiple thoughts that are going on about this happening, note which thought keeps rising to the top in your mind. 

Great! You have a thought!  

Next, ask yourself who sent me this thought box delivery? Sounds easy right but it might be surprising. You may discover that this thought really wouldn’t have come from you, as you’ve been struggling over the finances of their college education and wondering if it’s the best fit for them anyway BUT you remember that you thought about leaving college and when you told your parents, guess what they said. Yeah, what you just said.

Again, no judgment. We are just playing detective here.

Next, we ask…”Where am I when I have this thought?”

And this can go two ways. The thought - it could take you to right when you were in college, or you may be playing out a future that hasn’t happened yet.

In this example, we are brought back to our own college days. And that’s not today. In other examples, you may find yourself thinking about a future that may never happen.

And that led right into the When, as well. 

Where, and When sometimes when you look through these thoughts, may be combined. You may have a clear When, you may not have a Where - our mind’s like to jumble things. This is not an exercise where you need to hit all of them, but choose one or two that work really well and that give you enough information for you to become present and think about the thought that you have. 

And finally, Why. This one can be fun. Go wherever you feel led, as the why can go a million different ways. For example  why did I get this thought-box-delivery? Why am I feeling a certain emotion when it comes in? Why is this the first thought I am having? Why am I not considering the positives of this? 

These questions and how you choose to show up as the detective or inspector of your thought-box-deliveries is for you to decide. Have fun with it - even when it is around a thought that might not be easy. 

The whole point of asking these questions is to give you an opportunity to consider if you want to keep the thought or not. Wouldn’t it be fun to be so clear on what is outside of your fence that when your child drops something on you like, “Mom, I think I'm gonna leave college.” 

That you were to feel the emotions. Maybe start to react but notice them and then quickly identify that most of this is outside of your fence which allows you to show up way more loving than you could have if you were navigating through those tough thought-box-deliveries.

Maybe you even come up and say somethin like: “Wow, that's a huge decision. What is telling you that this may be the right decision for you?” 

And then with those thought-box-deliveries on pause, you have the space to listen. 

If you don’t usually respond that way, you may shock your child, but if you begin to show up more often like this by keeping  the things outside of your fence, outside of your fence and then inspecting the deliveries that are sent inside, your inner Sherlock Holmes will serve you well. 

And this isn’t a once and done thing. I’m human. I have moments where all of the thought-box-deliveries come in and I react, and that’s okay. We are humans. It happens. The beautiful thing is you can begin to tune into the fact that you’re not feeling so good and then start to do some of the exercises - we aren’t looking for perfection. We’re looking at feeling a little bit better.

What is happening is you are creating a safe space within your own mind, and that allows you to have the time to process the thoughts that are coming in without going automatically into reaction mode. All of this allows you to show up better not only for yourself but for every single person that you meet - including those closest to you. How cool is that? 

07:23

[level-up music]

Please remember that this isn’t something that we turn a switch on and we suddenly we’ll never go into reaction mode. Sometimes we need the reaction mode, especially in emergencies.

Some days, our Protector is on high-alert and we just have to go, “Okay, that’s where I am right now.”

Trust that over time, the more that you do this, the easier it will become, the more fun it will become, the sillier life becomes, and we’re not looking for perfection. We’re looking for a little more space, and a little more space, and a little more space.  

08:01

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Do you have an emotion that you typically try to avoid feeling? How can you use questions to better understand it?

08:14

As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to follow this podcast - it is free after all - AND become this podcast's hero by sharing it with others! You’ll find links to additional resources, time markers and more in the show notes. 

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, see if you can ask yourself a few of those questions and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between. 

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Things That Bring You Complete Joy Exercise 💚 (19/30)

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Things That Bring You Complete Joy Exercise 💚 (19/30)

In this podcast episode, I share a fun exercise that has been one of my favorites over the last year - I use it almost daily!

"Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy."

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  • 00:41 Skip the intro & jump into today's topic
  • 05:52 Journal Prompt

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"Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy."

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 187

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Complete Joy Exercise  (19/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Things that bring you complete joy is our topic for today (Day 19) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:41

Amazing human and beautiful soul, this one can be super fun and is perfect as one of your top of the toolbox resource items, once you choose your four things that bring you joy. This activity is also a great one to use in conjunction with our last episode’s topic.  

As a reminder, that was about being honest about your emotions with your child. If you find yourself having a strong feeling, yet need to distract yourself a bit to hold space until you can fully process something, this will give you the space to think about happier things.  

For this tool, I went with the number four (4) and that’s because you can make this activity tactile as well. For that part, whichever hand you want, tap your index finger and then each other finger to your thumb and go around in circles, tapping each finger: one, two, three, four.

You could even mix it up and go backwards. That is part one (the tactile portion) of this activity. 

Now for the thought part: I invite you to find four things: you’ll be creating a mental list of them. They could be specific moments in time from your past; imagine an item in your house that when you look at it every time just oh, makes you feel so good; or it could be an animal, a vacation moment, or maybe your kids. 

I want to provide a warning with that last one, though. Typically, choosing to make one of your children the joy point isn’t always the best idea with parenting, and let me explain: there are days when thinking of them doesn’t bring us complete joy - it may bring you worries, or concern. 

Rather than choosing to put your child, JimBob, on your list, I encourage you to find a specific moment that you have had with JimBob that every time you think about it, it makes your heart sing, laugh, or smile. And that moment, whether they were 19 months old, or 19 years old, choose it, find that specific moment. 

Here’s a personal example: one of mine is my daughter playing at the zoo with otters and a stuffed animal. She was running back and forth and the otters kept following her - the giggles that she had in that moment - (luckily we have it on video) so much fun! Thinking of that moment makes my heart sing. 

Another one of mine was being on the beach with my feet in the sand and a margarita by my side - it felt so amazing in that moment.

Those types of moments or thoughts, that’s what you’re looking for. They’re going to be uniquely yours - find four of them.

03:36

With your list of four, combine them with the tactile part of this activity, mentally working through your list as you tap a new finger to your thumb moving on to the next one and noting that there is no need to rush. 

As mentioned earlier, this is perfect when you find yourself with a strong emotion, but don’t have the time to process it out. Running through your joyous list will help you to feel a little bit  - or maybe a lot better.  

This could become your goto tool for the next month, or maybe forever. You can head to it when, in our analogy, you realize everything's on high alert, your Protector is sending things in deliveries with alarms going off and you can't get to a point to evaluate anything to see if the thought is even worth keeping. 

In those moments, if you can think of this tool (or maybe another one that works for you) in your life's top-of-your-toolbox that you can go to, allowing yourself to reset, providing you with the space to then process, over time you will have more moments where you begin to feel better! 

And then when you have more space in your life, if you find that you have thought-box-deliveries that keep coming in and making you go to that tool, with that new space… THEN, take a look at that thought-box-delivery with some fresh eyes. Are you seeing it differently?

I absolutely love this activity. It’s super easy. It got me through a time when past me would have been wondering. “Why the heck are you reacting so calmly right now?” 

There’s so much power in this one when you figure out how to fit it into your life. It’s unbelievably fun; people may be wondering why you’re smiling; and one of my four things being my feet in the sand, that was about two hours of time in my life when that happened, but I loved it so much!

And it dawned on me that I just returned from a trip where I was able to put my feet in the sand for FIVE DAYS - a lot longer than two hours! I don’t know, maybe there’s some secret power in this…have fun, either way!

05:52

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … What four items that bring you complete joy - complete joy, can I say it one more time? Complete joy -  would you add to your mental list?

[exit music - upbeat]

Thanks for listening today, have fun finding those four things, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]

Your Empty Nest Coach Christine has her arms out wide and looking up to the sky while in nature, text leads to the online home for the 30-Day  Challenge to Empty Nest Success

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success

It's time to take control of your new reality and turn it into a positive experience. Do the FREE 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success and get started on your amazing new chapter in life! All are welcome - whether the empty nest is ahead or you've been in it for years and anywhere between.