The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Final Episode

Empty Nest Success: Complete?

FULL TRANSCRIPT (via otter.ai & manual editing)

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Hi, I'm Coach Christine. Welcome to my podcast. This is the your empty nest coach podcast, and I believe that you are amazing. This podcast episode is called the empty nest success, complete,

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and we're doing it a little different.

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This podcast is my gift to you, a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I'm here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

I've been sitting on this episode for months. I have been thinking about stopping releasing episodes for two years. Even my podcasting friends have told me this. So I'm gonna script it, I'm gonna write it. And then I realized that the most fun I had ever when creating content was a video I made for GOHQ, and it was me walking in the woods sharing my thoughts, and I'm gonna put it on my website very shortly. And I thought, you know why - I need to stop overthinking this. I have a piece of paper with bullet points. I'm gonna put a little hair and makeup on just a little and I'm gonna go to my favorite park and I'm gonna record this podcast episode. If I say everything I want to say, great. If I miss something, the world is not gonna end. It's all good, so that I can free my time and life up for the things that are in my next chapter of life. So here we go:

1:36
Hi and thanks for tuning in. I made it parking lots busy, and there is nature sound. So we'll see how this goes. But I've got my left so let's go. Since I do plan on this being my final podcast episode, I want to remind you that any information you need you can find at YourEmptyNestCoach.com, if you want to get in touch with me or talk to me about having me on your podcast. Media event, press. It's all there.

If you're listening to this in audio only, know that the full video will be on YouTube.  As always. Links are in the show notes.

One of the reasons why this is my favorite park is it has a stream. The sound running water helps me to reset. So I'm going to share that with you for a few minutes. Take some deep breaths in and out, and become really present with where you are.

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And let's keep going.

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If this is your first time listening to the podcast, I thought about this, and the easiest way to get to know me is head to my website and look up who am I. Check out my media and press page, or listen to the trailer on this podcast, and then also the 30th day of the 30-day challenge to empty now success. So those two episodes together combined will get you most of what you need and let you know if the rest of the content will be helpful for you.

3:19
If you're audio only. I stopped, and it was quiet, because a monarch (?) butterfly  just went by, and I think I caught it on video,

my wish for you today, my wish for you today, is that you are able to find so many beautiful things to appreciate about yourself. You can do the world too, but start with yourself. You know your your lungs are working, your heart's pumping. You don't have to tell it what to do. You can breathe in and out. You can see or hear and replace this if something doesn't fit for you. But there are so many things to appreciate about you, and the things that you've done in your life, and people are coming, so I'm gonna appreciate this bench for a moment.

I was going to record more here, but we're too close to the road, so I'm gonna go up on the hill. I'll share some of my travels with you. If you're listening on audio, think about some things you appreciate.

4:22
Whew, well, I guess there's still road noise, but I'm on this bench, so let's chat. Why is this the final episode? So the last five years, here I am. This is me, Future Me, who, past me was motivated by. The mantra I had in my head was, "if I do nothing in five years, I'm going to be exactly where I am now."

 Who would have thought? I certainly didn't think that I would attend a podcasting conference, speak at the next one, bring my daughter to a podcasting conference, where she would then meet one of my best podcasting friends. And start her own podcast. She's now on her second podcast. Who would have thought I'd been interviewed by so many other podcasts that I would be quoted in places of the Wall Street Journal? Really what, me? Yeah, that happened. I was interviewed on Fox News five New York Metro market and Washington, DC radio station did my story and made it all about me and how I got here, like, What? What? So here we are, over five years later, I feel like I've said everything I need to say on the subject without just regurgitating the same thing over and over and I've been very cognizant of not sitting in the sadness.

5:47
through this, because it's super easy to do that in this time. It's super easy to do that in any transition. When a relationship ends, a job changes, you don't know what's next.

I have more to stay on the whole, but I'm talking specific to emptiness. So I will be continuing coaching on a very limited basis. I have had the privilege, through this experience, to then get certified through a third party, so I don't need to spend a lot of time marketing and finding clients. I'm going to open a few spots that will be available on my website, and I'd love for you to join me 45 minutes. You're having a tough day, a tough week, a tough month, you sit with me, we chat, I remind you how freaking amazing you are, and you go from there. It's all up to you. It's your life, not mine. So you know best.

Now we have a dog barking. I forgot about all these sounds for the podcast, but it is what it is, and this is the only way this is gonna get complete. I also don't have free calls where then I'm gonna pressure you to buy with me. I have enough podcast episodes. I have enough videos out on socials. You get my vibe. You're either gonna wanna coach with me or not. So no pressure. It's there if you need it, and if not, have a great life.

[Back to past me] I could just have easily have not woken up at four o'clock in the morning and done that. I'm so glad I did. I'm not saying you need to work wake up at four o'clock in the morning. I'm not saying you need to do a podcast. I'm not saying you need to be on social media, but you definitely, if you have a goal, do something.

I mean, seriously, look at this path. It's so cute.

But what I really want to tell you is that you're gonna be fine. You are going to be fine. You're gonna get to the other side of all these emotions and feelings that you have, and life is gonna get good. Is it gonna happen in three quick steps, and tomorrow you're gonna wake up and everything's gonna be better? No, no, no, no no. It's taken me a solid five years to get where I am,

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but I've gone through a lot of stuff.

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You may, too. Your journey is going to be your journey. And, man, when you start to really, really become that conscious, effective Olympian, CEO of your life, you're conscious of your thoughts. You're conscious of your feelings. You take in, like the places, the people that you're with, the the work that you do, and how you feel about it, and then you develop really, really, really, super good Whys on, why you're at the job you're at, or why you're doing the thing you do. Man, life gets so much fun. I am serious. It becomes so fun because, you know you're gonna be able to handle it all. You've got this, you've got this, and that's kind of where I am now. I've shared everything I feel like I need to share on this topic.

In the future, I definitely have a book in me. It is simmering. I'll put a link in the show notes if you haven't heard that from me before, but that's simmering in some journals and some paper and in my mind, and when the time's right, it's gonna come out. But for me now, this chapter is closing, which is bittersweet. And the topic that I want to talk about next, I need a drink. It's over 80 degrees and
the pollen is high.

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new things, new things, new things.

All right, water's in me.

Let's talk about bittersweetness. Bittersweetness, I think, is very easy to simply say, Oh, this is such a bittersweet time, and most people go to the emotion of sadness or sometimes guilt. It's like, what are all the things I didn't do before I move on? And that for me, a lot of that was around my podcast too. It's like, but if I stop this, then you know, what if these things could happen? Also, the reverse of that is, what if I stop this, and now I have all this free time mentally, let alone time of doing all the things that allows me to be available for the next and best opportunity. What happens with the empty nest often is such a bittersweet time, and it is. I still think it's a great word, but I'd like you to imagine it isn't a word and an emotion of sadness and guilt, but it is like a sliding scale. So I'd like you to imagine a sliding scale, and on one side is. Put your own emotions there. Take a piece of paper and write down all the feelings and emotions that you're feeling around this empty nest transition or another transition that you're going through. Maybe on one side, you have guilt or sadness, and on the other side, you have excitement. Make that scale your own.

And what I want you to think of we're gonna use this plant spur the moment. We'll see if this analogy works. Imagine this fern, and you can see there's some rain on here. We'll call it sadness. There's rain on the fern, but, you know, the sun comes out later. Maybe it needs to move over here to grab the sun. It dries out and it looks different. So rather than you being in a fixed, stuck place like this rock, maybe, and even the rocks can move for a variety of reasons. So you're never stuck in that one place. You have the flexibility to move. I mean, even if the wind blows, you start to see movement. So imagine that scale is something that moves from one side to the other, and that's your personal scale.

 Let me tell you why I think this is important, because the one thing I see over and over and over and over again as those who are enjoying, not enjoying the empty nest, is that they'll be like, I'm sad, and then they'll Google, I'm sad in the empty nest, and then they find a Facebook group, or they find, you know, I don't know, a paid group that they have to go to, and everybody in there is sad about the empty nest. So while they might have been sad because they just don't really know what to do with some of their time, or they don't know what they're gonna do with themselves. Now, they're presented with a list of everybody else's reasons on why they're sad or should feel guilty or why they should feel bad, and then you're stuck like a rock in that one side of the scales. You existing on this planet is a value to this planet.

You having the space to discover things that you like and enjoy and appreciate brings a way different energy to all it is. You don't even have to talk to people and things change. And if that's too much for you, it's okay. There's plenty of other resources online that you'll find somebody who can help you through this transition, or resource that can help you.

Did I mention it's hot?

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There are no curls left, none. Now you have your bittersweet scale. You come up with it. That's yours. You make it your own. And remember when you're feeling sad that you know you don't have to slide out of it right away. You know be sad, experience the sadness, experience the emotion that you're feeling, but know that you can slide out. That that's the biggest change. Just a lot of people sit in it and think they're never gonna get out of it, but you will, for me, that's a bittersweetness stopping this podcast. Well, I never, ever put another episode out. I don't like to say never about anything, because you just don't know, people change places, change situations change. So I'm not gonna sit here and say, I'm never gonna put out another episode. Do I plan to at this time. No, it feels complete. I feel like I've done even more than I ever could have imagined through this podcast, and that's awesome, and I'm about to start some new chapters. So yes, I do have that big goal, one day writing the book and all that. But honestly, my biggest goal right now is seeking peace in my life. And I found that lately, my peace is in moments like this, offline, without monitoring my five social media accounts and posting videos and feeling like and letting people down because I'm not responding to their comments. I mean, yeah, I know I put all that on myself, but I just it's easier to not do it. So the biggest part this next chapter for me is to follow my peace, to be offline way more, and I'm starting post grad work. I was a programmer analyst before I had my daughter, and I'm really looking forward to proving that I can do that again. I know I can, and I start at the end of August my first certificate. Also gonna pursue Reiki training. So I've got the yin and yang there. We're gonna balance it all out, and I'm excited about it.

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You can do this too. You can find the things that are your things in life. And that's what I want to tell you, is that this works, clearing your mind, being conscious. It takes time, but when you discover what your next chapter is going to be, it's so much fun, and there's always going to be a next chapter. Always, always. And there's a part of me that thinks the next chapter will include Kelly Clarkson or Drew Barrymore: call me up, give me a regular spot, because, you know, I'm chill, I'm fun!  I'll remind everyone how amazing they are. You need that.

But I also have next chapters in my post grad, in my work, and I want to travel the country, I want to travel the world, and be able to work while I do that, because I'm not the kind that's gonna retire and do nothing. It's just not in my genes, I think. All right, let me have a seat on this rock here and see. Have I missed anything on my list? Oh, people told me what I should say in my final episode.

 Christine, you should talk about your name change. Yes, I changed my last name after my divorce. I did talk about it in a prior episode, so I'll link it below. You should say this. You should say that, and you know, I also don't like should either. I don't really have to do anything. And that's a beautiful thing to realize, is that really so few people are thinking about the things in your life the way you're thinking about them. So I'm so excited that I'm finally out here recording this, and when I get home, I'm gonna start editing it, and within a week, have it done with a beautiful little bow to give to you. And that feels great. And whether it's your child leaving for college or child moving out finally or moving back in, know that it is possible to feel good in all of it,

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but don't fake the feel good, because

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it's okay to cry. It's okay to be angry about things that are worth being angry about. And when you get to know yourself better, you you know what's worth being angry about versus like everything in traffic, probably not. But you know, you decide, you get to decide. And I spent the morning crying. Yes, I did. It felt great afterwards. I processed through some stuff I needed to do. Felt great. I don't feel sad anymore. I released the emotion, it might pop back, but I know it'll probably process through faster. It's amazing. The most important thing I want to say is, if you're listening to this and watching this, thank you for being part of this journey. I've shared a lot about me, but honestly, none of this would have happened if it wasn't for you and your support. Over the last five years, it's been truly incredible, and I'm so thankful for you, really, truly, I've made some of my best friends in the world, literally, they're all over the world through this adventure. So thanks for being a part of it. And if you listen to any podcast or content creator, know that you know their blood, sweat and tears and time goes into what they're creating. And if you appreciate them, let them know, because a single comment and an email from me would keep me motivated for months sometimes. Thanank you all for being part of this. I love you so much. So beautiful soul, amazing human.

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be you. You're worth it.

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You are worth

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stepping out of things that aren't good for you.

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It isn't easy to do, but

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as someone who's done a lot of that in the last five years,

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don't you dare forget that  You are amazing. 💚