122 – 127: Holiday/Winter Break Episodes 💚

122 - 127: Holiday/Winter Break Episodes 💚

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

I hope 

  • You are wrapping up 2020 by managing your though-box deliveries well
  • Your family is healthy and safe
  • You know (or are working) to know your future-self
  • You realize (or are beginning to realize) how powerful you are

I'll be adding resources and podcast episode players to this post for episodes in the remainder of the year. 

I have 121 prior episodes that are (mostly) in line with my usual format. Click here to view all of them, or head to the Search This Site menu at the top of this page and type in what you are looking for!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I am on a short break from my usual episodes until after the new year, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging, so I’ve prerecorded these quick episodes."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

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Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

EpisodeS 122 - 127 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast
EPISODE 122

[happy intro music]

00:00:00

Hi, It’s coach Christine. 

This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and I am on a short break from my usual episodes until after the new year, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging, so I’ve pre recorded these quick episodes.

This is the audio from my first Express Coaching Lesson on Instagram Reels. Yes, that means there is video to go with it. Check the show notes. Have a listen:

00:00:22

[acoustic guitar music under voiceover]

[doorbell] 

Realizing that my thoughts were optional was life changing for me. I like to think of them now, as thought-deliveries. When they show up in our mind, it is kind of like a house: we can keep the package, [knock at the door]sort it, or flat-out return to sender.

[end background music]

00:00:38

My last episode before break was 121, so if you are new here, I invite you to check it out. I’ll have a link to that episode in my show notes as well as anything else I have referenced.

Enjoy your time with your family, and if you have any questions, quick tips, thoughts,  or want to see all of my offerings, visit my website YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Of course, the flock is still flying and I may have some VIP Intensive Coaching spots still open. I invite you to check it all out - and don’t forget to enjoy yourself today. YOU ARE AMAZING! 

[outro music]

EPISODES 123 - 127 

Coming soon!

121: A Motherhood Memory Book and The Rest of 2020

121: A Motherhood Memory Book and The Rest of 2020

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

When this episode goes live, I'll be in my car, traveling to see my daughter's senior art show, and then will bring her home for winter break a couple of days later. Honestly, when she headed off to campus, I did not have high expectations that her school would continue on-campus through Thanksgiving. It is nice to have a pleasant surprise in 2020 - one that requires no major thought work.  

In this episode, I mention the idea of a motherhood memory book and share my podcast plans for the remainder of 2020. 

Be sure to subscribe to my podcast in your favorite podcast player, if you haven't already, as that is the best way to be notified of new episodes. 

I have a feeling I'll be most active on TikTok and then Instagram over the holidays, so I also invite you to follow me there. 

Enjoy time with your family this holiday season, my empty nest friend, and remember that you are amazing!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"... what if we were to create a Motherhood Memory Book that allows us to capture large lessons learned, or celebrate accomplishments that aren’t just our child’s sporting event, scholarship honor, first steps?  Those sorts of things.  What if we created our own Motherhood Memory Book?  Our memories, our lessons learned."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙The podcast episode in which I mention a motherhood memory book. 💚#EmptyNestSyndrome  #EmptyNest  #Podcast #EmptyNestMom #Motherhood #Memories

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Creating a Motherhood Memory Book 
  • To Consider Your Accomplishments or Top Moments Over the Last 18 or so Years
  • My Top Moments
  • How I'll Post Episodes for the Remainder of 2020

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. What do you think about the motherhood memory book idea?
  2. Are you following me on Instagram yet? 

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 121 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and this is episode number 121.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes.  Should you feel a bit lost, use my show notes for best places to begin.  In this episode, I share a thought about creating a motherhood memory book and I explain what the episodes for the remainder of 2020 will look like.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:04

Hello, my future empty nest friend and Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO of your life!  You are doing a great job.  Keep going.  You may not be receiving daily thank you notes or flower bouquets, but the work, whatever that is for you, in your life, is worth it.  Go, you!  Show notes for this episode have links to anything I discuss that is linkable, and of course, you’ll find all sorts of fun stuff, and ways to work with me on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  If you enjoy this episode, I invite you to subscribe to this podcast, and to consider joining the GPS Support Flock. What is that? I’m so glad you asked; take a listen.

00:01:44

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:30

I had this thought about scrapbooks or memory books, which is pretty funny because I’ve never been a big scrapbooker in the traditional sense.  I was a tad overboard when my daughter was young, but even that was in a different way.  I knew I wasn’t sending her to preschool, so I felt I needed to document more, and then it continued in early elementary school, and then, yeah, I got lazy.  Anyway, I was thinking about how we have scrapbooks for times in our lives. For me, it feels like it’s mostly moments.  As mothers, we tend to make a baby album for our first child.  I know it’s common that by the third child that concept disappears, and I totally get it.  But we’ll also have scrapbooks maybe for a year, for birthdays, or vacations.

00:03:13

Yes, while that all represents part of our life, what if we were to create a Motherhood Memory Book that allows us to capture large lessons learned, or celebrate accomplishments that aren’t just our child’s sporting event, scholarship honor, first steps?  Those sorts of things.  What if we created our own Motherhood Memory Book?  Our memories, our lessons learned.  So what if?  

To start, try to find 3 - 5 moments in your journey as a mother that changed your thinking, that opened your eyes, or taught you something.

00:04:03

Let me tell you the first three things that came to mind for me.  The day that my daughter graduated high school, and for me, it wasn’t about her graduation (sorry, honey), as much as it was for all that I accomplished, despite so many people nay-saying our journey along the way.  It wasn’t the moment she was in her cap and gown.  It was the moment we left her homeschool evaluator’s home, got in the car, and sitting in the driveway, I knew we had made it to this milestone.  That my belief and trust in what was right for our daughter proved to be true, even if the moment hits you when you are parked in a car, in a driveway.  

00:04:36

The second thing I thought of, and I’m not even sure what photo I would put this, but there definitely was a moment when my daughter was quite young, that the epiphany of my parents being just as clueless as I felt in that moment, hit me.  It is so easy when you look back at life, or as you go through life when you’re a teenager, to think my parents this or my parents that, but when you realize we are all making it up as we go, navigating life out of the experiences we have had to date, and seeing your parents in a new way, it’s impactful.

00:05:06

The third thing I came up with was, I’d have to say my husband’s cancer diagnosis.  Weird right?  But we gained knowledge about ourselves as a small family, and about others through his diagnosis and treatments.  It gave me an appreciation for life in a way that I otherwise may be oblivious to.  Life is short, we have no guarantees and each day is a gift.  Having to look at it when you have a young child, also puts an imprint on your life that isn’t easily forgotten.

00:05:33

So, what I’m thinking is this whole Motherhood Memory Book idea would be a gift to yourself, to commemorate you, to celebrate you.  Maybe you started a business.  Yes, I’d put that in there.  Maybe you navigated so many years at home as the primary caregiver, and you were taking care of your parents.  Maybe you managed to go back to college while you were doing all this.  What are things, when you look back, you’re really proud of, that you, you have done?  What would you want the next generation to know about you?  I think that becomes really powerful.

00:06:09

Imagine this as a beautiful celebratory gift to yourself, whether it’s a scrapbook or an online photo book that you create.  Call it your graduation book.  Graduating into the next chapter of your life.  I’ve started an online store; I’ll put a link in the show notes if I still have it going.  I’m testing it out right now.  But maybe there, we could create graduating class pins or mugs for us.  You know, we’re graduating into the next stage of our life.  Which feels better, graduating out or graduating into something?  I guess that depends on you, huh?  If you like this idea and do something with it, let me know.  If you are thinking, “well, that sounds like a lot of work Christine,” then yeah, I wouldn’t bother.  But it could be a fun small group project, couldn’t it?  Well, if you want in on something like that, let me know.  Imagine having it to capture your highlight reel and then being able to share it with generations to come.

00:07:09

Before I wrap this episode up, I want to share with you that for the remainder of 2020, I’ll be taking a bit of a break.  I’ll post super quick episodes each Friday.  They’ve all been recorded.  I’ll be focusing on spending time with the family over the holidays.  I plan to return in 2021 with my typical episodes.  Over these weeks, I am, however, in the GPS Support Flock, so if you need support, I invite you to join me there.  Enjoy my quick episodes over the next few weeks.  Enjoy your family.  Be present.  Watch your thought-deliveries, and continue to be amazing! 

[Music]

00:07:40

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, what do you think about the Motherhood Memory Book idea?  Two, are you following me on Instagram yet?  Yes, I’m going to keep asking you that periodically.  As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.  My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  If you enjoy this podcast don’t forget to share it with others, it is the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience, and subscribe, too.  It’s free.  Thanks!  And, never, ever, ever forget that you are amazing!

[Bloopers]

00:08:53

Still listening?  Wow, you are about to have a six week break from my bloopers, my extra promo audios and my still listening sections.  Is that a good thing?  Have fun!

[Music]

[End]

120: How to Avoid Empty Nest Syndrome

120: How to Avoid Empty Nest Syndrome

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

I have the quick answer and the long answer in this episode. 💚

Enjoy!

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"You get to call this next chapter of your life whatever you want: An adventure, a creative process, or a discovery. And don't feel limited by what I come up with. What ideas do you have?"

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙The podcast episode in which I talk about the possibility of avoiding empty nest syndrome. 💚#EmptyNestSyndrome  #EmptyNest  #Podcast #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestHelp

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • What Coach Christine's Thoughts are on Avoiding Empty Nest Syndrome
  • New Words to Use for The Next Chapter in Your Life
  • My High-Level Thoughts on Moving Forward in These Years
  • What Support Options I Have For You

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you experienced empty nest syndrome? 
  2. Do you think it is avoidable?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 120 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine: Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and this is episode 120.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes.  Should you feel a bit lost, use my show notes for best places to begin.  In this episode, we are going to consider the statement “how to avoid empty nest syndrome.”  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:00

Hello, my future empty nest friend and Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO of your life!  Wanting to avoid the empty nest syndrome?  What?  Okay, we’ll get started in a moment.  Show notes for this episode have links to anything I discuss that is linkable, and of course, you’ll find all sorts of fun stuff, and ways to work with me on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  If you enjoy this episode, I invite you to subscribe to this podcast, and to consider joining the GPS Support Flock.  What is that?  I’m so glad you asked; take a listen.

00:01:33

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:21

How to avoid empty nest syndrome.  All right, this is another topic that could be super quick and I could just say if you’ve been listening to me for a while, you already know that empty nest syndrome isn’t a clinical diagnosis, so you can simply call it something else and voilá, you are no longer are in empty nest syndrome.  I know, I know, it isn’t that easy.  Well, if you’ve cleared out your thoughts a ton, trained your Protector and are managing those thought-deliveries, it might not be as difficult as you think.  You do get to call this next chapter of your life whatever you want; an adventure, a creative process, a discovery. 

 

00:03:03

Don’t feel limited by what I come up with.  What ideas do you have?  In front of you, you have the opportunity to create your life’s next masterpiece.  I want you to be the superhero of your own life.  To be the CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life as you move forward.  So the short answer is we end there.  Call it something else, something that makes you feel good and that you believe and be done with it.

 

00:03:32

There’s a bit of a longer answer though and that’s to head back to episode number 3 of my podcast and do some listening.  The high-level of that, I will encourage you to learn to be present in your life, to begin to notice the thoughts that enter your mind, to notice your emotions and to begin to lean into them rather than to run away from them.  Or you can ignore them, shove them down deep somewhere and they’ll wait to pop up when you least expect it.  I’ll introduce you to the idea that you have a Protector of your mind (some call this concept Ego), and I’ll challenge you to stop letting them run the show of your life.  For you to train them, so that they serve you well rather than boss you around. 

 

00:04:11

This is your time to claim you.  This is your time to claim who you are moving forward.  How do you avoid empty nest syndrome? 

If you googled this topic and you’ve come across this podcast episode, you’re probably either already in it or you’re feeling like you’re headed that way, so you have the opportunity now to get a head start.  Consider what you call it.  Realize that those thoughts that you have are optional and if, when you say, “I have empty nest syndrome,” and you notice that it makes you feel lousy, then let’s let’s get a piece of paper out, let’s write down what you think.  Let’s think about different ways to call this stage of your life, so that you feel good about it.

 

00:04:51

I could give you 50 different ways, but I might not necessarily give you the one that resonates with you.  This is your journey, and you’ll have to do some work.  I encourage you early to rely on yourself a bit more than me.  I guide you to finding her because in the end, you know yourself better than anyone.  Of course, I am here as a resource.  You may listen to my podcast episodes, if this is resonating with you.  If you need a bit more support and want some guided resources, consider joining the GPS support flock.

 

00:05:23 

To recap, your experience is your experience.  Your thoughts that you have in your mind have a lot to do with your experience.  Your prior experiences impact your thoughts, and if you are never in tune with noticing your thoughts, you may sit in empty nest syndrome for a really long time, or another stage of your life for longer than you need to.  Do you wanna avoid it?  I don’t know about you, but looking back, it’s been an incredible gift for me, noticing that I was entering it, processing through it, and doing the work to become who I see in the future.  I want that for you. 

 

00:06:01

You’ve taken the first step; noticing you are in this stage of your life, or headed towards it.  Your next step is to figure out how to enjoy the journey through the transition.  When you avoid things, you miss out on experiences; experiences that are lovely, experiences that may be painful, but ultimately, experiences that allow you grow into who you are meant to be.  I know amazing things are in store for you, so I say, dive in, get to work, enjoy the journey and be more than you ever thought you could. 

[Music]

00:06:36

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, have you experienced empty nest syndrome?  Two, do you think it’s avoidable?  As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.  My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  My next episode’s title is: A Motherhood Memory Book & The Rest of 2020.  Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast if you like it.  It’s free after all.  And always, always, always, always remember that you are amazing!

[Bloopers]

00:07:45

Still listening?  I’m recording this in October, and realizing that when this episode comes out, actually, and the last one, our new president should have been elected.  Well, it’s 2020, maybe something’s up in the air.  Who knows?  Either way, no matter where we end up, and which way you voted, know that it is okay to feel excited, disappointed, scared, angry.  Notice those emotions.  Check your thoughts.  Ask if they are true and work on your presence.  What can you do in this moment, this moment right now, right here, to change it?  If the answer is nothing, be present and be the best you in your life’s circle of influence.  There is more power in that than you may ever know. 

[Music]

[End]

119: Let’s Talk About Divorce in the Empty Nest: Does the Empty Nest Cause Divorce?

119: Let's Talk About Divorce in the Empty Nest: Does the Empty Nest Cause Divorce?

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

This topic seems to be either a big part of your life or is a taboo topic in what I've witnessed. I haven't run into many humans in my age range that comfortably discuss divorce - except for a fab podcaster I mention in this episode. Even when a divorce doesn't personally impact someone, the discomfort is almost always visible when divorce is mentioned in a conversation. 

Somehow, this is surprising in 2020, despite the level of surprises in 2020.

Divorce is a word. We choose how much power we allow the WORD to have in our life. If you are in the process of a divorce, outside of the financial and legal implications (I can't speak to those), you do have the opportunity to move forward in a way that will serve you well - or not. 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Life is a beautiful mess. Make it YOUR beautiful mess and create a masterpiece going forward. You get to decide who you’ll be. Don’t think for a moment that you are defined by divorce. You are more than divorce. You are amazing you, who happened to have experienced a divorce."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙The podcast episode in which I talk about the "d" word - divorce 💚 #GrayDivorce #GreyDivorce #EmptyNestDivorce #EmptyNest  #Podcast #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestSyndrome 

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Love in a Divorce
  • To Remember to Choose Thoughts that Provide You with A Positive Energy in Your Life
  • Acceptance Allows You To Move Forward

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Have you ever considered divorce?
  2. What do you make divorce mean for yourself or others?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 119 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and this is episode number 119.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes.  Should you feel a bit lost, use my show notes for best places to begin.  In this episode, Let's Talk About Divorce in the Empty Nest: Does the Empty Nest Cause Divorce?

00:00:28

I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:01:01

Hello, my future empty nest friend and Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO, of your life!  Are you feeling like the superhero of your life yet?  I sure hope so.  No one should feel like anything other than the leading character of your own life, and why not be a superhero?  Show notes for this episode have links to anything I discuss that is linkable, and of course, you’ll find all sorts of fun stuff, and ways to work with me on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  If you enjoy this episode, I invite you to subscribe to this podcast, and to consider joining the GPS Support Flock.  What is that?  I’m so glad you asked; take a listen.

00:01:44

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

00:02:29

I had an earlier episode about does the empty nest cause anxiety and the concept is similar to this.  The empty nest gifts us with new opportunities to look at parts of our life that we may have easily been ignoring, or too busy to notice.  I can’t imagine it’s often the actual event of entering the empty nest is what causes a divorce.  What happens is the empty nest shines a light on things that are already there, uncovers them in a way.  A divorce that happens after a long-term marriage, 20 or more years, has garnered the name gray divorce.  You know me, I like to do an internet search to find what comes up and you know what I found? 

00:03:17 

Financial Planners and Divorce Attorneys have claimed many of the top spots, so when you search things online be sure to check who has authored the articles.  The other topic that, interestingly enough, earned more than five spots of the search results were articles about Jennifer Grey divorcing Clark Gregg after 19 years of marriage.  Now my guess is Jennifer’s last name of Grey plays into that, with it also being a gray marriage.  But still is this what people find first when they begin to look for help in this area?  Wow.

00:03:44

I spent a solid 20 minutes laughing over the images I found on one site.  Their idea of what 50 years and older looks like was clearly more like 85 or 90 years old.  I mean, I’m 49.  Is this what you think 50- or 60-, or even 70-year old looks like?  Please, rethink this.  Maybe it needs to have a different name.  I’m sure there are people who have been married 20 years, getting a divorce, that are younger than 50.  What about mature divorce?  What do you think?  Well, I’m kind of straying here.  Let’s get back to our topic.

00:04:17

I did find a paper at Bowling Green State University.  In it, it states, “... the divorce rate for couples aged 50 and older has doubled since 1990, and it has more than doubled for married individuals aged 65 and older.  An older college graduate, even one in a first marriage, faces essentially the same risk of divorce as the older high school graduate.  And, Brown and Lin, authors, point out, more than 55 percent of gray divorces involve couples who were married for more than 20 years.”  I share this with you not to freak you out, if you are married, but let’s be real, it’s something that happens to marriages, and if it may happen to you, if it is happening to you, I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

00:05:03

If you get to the empty nest and begin to consider divorce, whether you’re considering it, whether your partner is considering it, or you’re both considering it, if you are the CEO of your life, the Conscious Effective Olympian, you’ll be able to sort through your thought-deliveries out enough to look at your partner and know that you want to love them for who they are.   That’s your job, nothing else.  Their job is not to make you happy.  I mean, it’s painful to think about, but if you want them to be happy, and they want a divorce, you want them to do what will make them happy.  Let’s jump for a moment and imagine that you had always planned for your child to go to a local college, or to live 30 minutes from you, and one day they announce that they are moving 400 miles away for the perfect opportunity, whether it’s college or work.  Of course, there is a level of heart-brokenness because you weren’t expecting this, but when you see it makes sense for them, you get on board, even if it’s reluctantly at first.  Why?  Because you love them and you know this is the right thing for them.  

00:06:09

Okay, now, imagine your partner, who you love dearly, announces they aren’t happy.  That they want a divorce and they give you their reasons why.  I would imagine you’d be heart-broken, but their reasons are their reasons.  You can make them mean whatever you want to.  They may choose statements that blame you.  You have the option to accept those in your mind or not.  They may simply say they aren’t happy and don’t want to try anymore.  If they don’t want to try, do you want to force you both to be in this relationship?

00:06:42

Things to think about.  And since I don’t know your particular circumstances, I’ll leave it there, but be careful that you are cognizant of the thought-deliveries that you allow in your mind going forward.  Make sure that once you process through your emotions, that you choose thought-deliveries that put you in a positive energy moving forward in your life.  I also want to remind you that it is important, if the divorce is happening or has happened, to accept it.  When you resist what is, you never get to move forward.  When you resist it, you continue to force yourself into reliving the divorce feelings over and over and over.  I’d much rather see you accept it, spend time mourning the loss, go through the anger, figuring out how to navigate this with your children, because I don’t care how old they are, they will be impacted, and move forward.  This is your life.  What do you want your story to be as you move forward?

00:07:42

Please also gift yourself with grace and an abundance of patience, because if you are in the midst of an empty nest transition and a divorce, you have two losses at once.  It is a lot.  Know you are strong enough to handle it, but you have to gift yourself with grace and time to process it all.  You have options, you always do.  You can blame your ex.  How does that make you feel?  You are the person you get to be moving forward, so get to know yourself.  Let’s figure out who you are in the future and look to them for guidance.  More than likely they’ll put the way you are feeling in this moment in perspective, and remind you that you are worth being with someone who wants to be married to you, or remind you that if you are the one who made the decision, that you get to live the life you want. 

00:08:37

The better you get to know yourself now through this journey, the better your years ahead will be.  Honor your true self.  Find out who you are outside of the marriage.  This is all information I would share with anyone, whether it’s divorce, or whether it’s loss of a child or a parent, there are no guarantees in life.  There’s no guarantee I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning.  There’s no guarantee that my house is still going to be standing 10 years from now.  There’s no guarantee that my husband and I will both have our jobs in two weeks.  There’s no guarantee that we’re going to be married till our dying days, or one of our dying days.  There’s no guarantee that we won’t be homeless in our future.  There’s no guarantee that we will stay healthy for the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years.

00:09:25

My beautiful friend, there are things we cannot control and when you get to a point where you are able to accept the lousy things, painful things, as well as the amazing things, this is where you start to become the Conscious Effective Olympian, the CEO of your life.  Life is a beautiful mess. Make it your beautiful mess and create a masterpiece going forward.  You get to decide who you’ll be.  Don’t think for a moment that you are defined by divorce.  You are more than being divorced.  You are amazing you, you happened to have experienced a divorce.  Sure, people may treat you differently.  That’s about them, not you. And you’ll figure out who your real circle is.  It could be devastating or a beautiful gift.  The thought about it is up to you. 

00:10:20

In the end, this is all CEO of your life stuff.  It will allow you to have power in your life moving forward.  I want you to be the CEO of your life.  As I said before, be the superhero of your own life.  Write your own story that is freaking amazing, divorce or no divorce, you’ve got this my friend.  All this being said, I hope it helps.  But to be transparent, I am not divorced, as I discussed, you know, there’s no guarantees.  But I want to share with you a resource, the Doing Divorce Right podcast with Jennifer Hurvits.  If you have the “D” word in your vocabulary, definitely check it out.  You can download her episodes wherever you listen to podcasts.  You can find her on instagram @doingdivorceright.  She always makes me laugh there.  Yes, I follow her and I’m married.  Gasp!  Jennifer also has a Facebook group, offers a free 30-minute coaching consultant call and so much more.  Head to her website for all the details, and of course, you’ll find links in my shownotes.  I would love for you to check out her resources, and definitely, let her know I sent you.  I’m always here to help you no matter the situation, empty nester or not, divorce or not.  I truly believe that diversity in experiences and perspectives makes us stronger.  So please don’t ever think for a moment that because I’m not divorced, you wouldn’t be welcome in my online spaces, or because I have one child and you have five, that we’ll never understand each other.  Maybe not right away, but we’ll make each other stronger, I guarantee it.

00:11:56

I also want to leave you with this.  I feel like someone needs to hear this.  If you’re in a place where you weren’t the one who wanted the divorce, I want you to know that there are married women who wish they were.  They want the freedom. They’ve told me.  So, divorced or married, the grass is always greener on the other side.  Your thoughts about the grass that you have has more to do with your life than the actual grass.  Take your power back by accepting and moving forward.  Let's show this world what you are made of.  Divorce is a word, let’s not give it a power to control your life.  It doesn’t need to mean failure, it can mean a new beginning.  You get to choose.

00:12:38

I couldn’t possibly address legal, financial and other impacts of your life in a divorce in this episode, so I think starting with Jennifer’s podcast will be a great start and branch out from there.  If you find other resources that are worth sharing with others, please let me know.  Divorced or not, you are always welcome in the GPS Support FLock. 

00:12:59

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, have you ever considered divorce?  You don’t have to answer that outloud.  But seriously, and if you’re afraid to even think about it, explore why.  Number two, what do you make divorce mean for yourself and others?  As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.  My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  My next episode’s title is: How to Avoid Empty Nest Syndrome.  If you enjoyed this podcast don’t forget to share it with others, it is the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience, and subscribe, too, it’s free.  Thanks!  And, divorce or not, my empty nest friend, you are amazing!

[Bloopers]

00:14:24

Still listening?  Not thinking about divorce at all but want to see where your partner lands?  Do some research on divorce on the internet.  I had about ten tabs up, and then explained to my husband the why.  I think having the courage to share that you’re visiting the sites, and seeing what comes out of it is always worth experiencing.  Think about it.  Considering divorce is powerful.  Knowing you both choose not to get a divorce, feels a lot better than always wondering if maybe you are.  And what are the reasons why you choose not to?  Are those reasons you can live with moving forward?  Accepting what is, rather than hiding from it, will always make you stronger, even if you need to work through painful emotions to get there.  Have courage. 

[Music]

[End]

118: The Benefit of Taking Time Off – Listener Requested ⚠

118: The Benefit of Taking Time Off - Listener Requested ⚠

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend,

Breaks benefit us. We know this.

Why, then, is it incredibly difficult for us to take the time for ourselves? As mothers, we tend to be experts at not taking breaks. So much so that when we do have downtime, we may not be sure what to do with ourselves. 

Hmm, a micro-level of the whole empty nest experience, isn't it? 

It might be thirty minutes sitting in your car in your driveway or a parking lot with your favorite music, or it might be more than that. Find something that will rejuvenate you in some way, and do it.

Head to your CEO of Your Life's Toolbox for inspiration.

You are amazing. Now take some time for yourself to uncover a bit more amazing-ness than you are allowing yourself to see right now.💚

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"We all know it makes sense to take the break, to rejuvenate, to get the sleep you need, to hydrate yourself, to eat well, but sometimes our protector thinks they know better."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙The podcast episode in which I talk about washi tape and breaks 💚 #TakeABreak #TakingABreak #EmptyNest  #Podcast #EmptyNestMom #EmptyNestSyndrome 

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • A Way To Consider Breaks in Relationship to Your Protector and Your CEO Life's Toolbox
  • Reminders for Why Breaks Are Good
  • To Consider a Break

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Are you good about taking breaks in your life?
  2. When was your last break? 

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 118 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast and this is episode number 118.  If you are new here, know that I tend to use terms I’ve introduced in prior episodes.  Should you feel a bit lost, use my show notes for best places to begin.  This episode is listener requested and I chat about taking some time off.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my future empty nest friend and Conscious Effective Olympian, or CEO, of your life! I’m so thankful you are listening today.  Show notes for this episode have links to anything I discuss that is linkable, and of course, you’ll find all sorts of fun stuff, and ways to work with me on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  If you enjoy this episode, I invite you to subscribe to this podcast, and to consider joining the GPS Support Flock.  What is that?  I’m so glad you asked; take a listen.

00:01:32

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!   

 

00:02:18

Do you feel you need permission to take a break?  Isn’t it interesting that often we know we need a break.  We can feel it but something in us fights us, we’ll have thoughts such as, “I can’t take off; I’ll miss out on something,” or “The timing isn’t right,” or “It will put me at a disadvantage.”  Be curious about these.  As I was recording my thoughts for this episode it dawned on me that when we know we need the time off, but we don’t take it, guess who’s in control?  Yeah, our Protector.  Bossing us around like they love, but we need to train our Protector up, remember?  We need to trust that we know what’s best for us, even though they think they do.  They’re allowing thought-deliveries to have high-priority status that do not serve us.  Sometimes, our Protector makes someone outside of our fence’s thoughts become ours.  What I want to say to my Protector is, “Okay, calm down, I know you love your job, but I’m the boss,” try that and explore the fact that something within you is telling you that you need a break, but your Protector doesn’t want it to happen.  Be curious about what’s going on.  Who has your best interest in mind and are the thoughts that are front-and-center, for you, right now, true?

00:03:40

You may be thinking now, what breaks exactly are you talking about Coach Christine?  Well, I’m talking about any breaks: a break from your job, via vacation time; a break from your routine for a few days, or sometimes even hours, or a few minutes; a break from the things that you eat; a break from your current exercise regime, maybe things are feeling stale.  Your break here will be yours to consider.  What do you need a break from?  I bet something just came to your mind.  Be curious about that.  Maybe, even the question is who you need a break from?  And by taking the break, are the thoughts you have about the break true?  Interesting, isn’t it? 

00:04:24

My friend, you know I like to reference our CEO of our life toolbox.  Originally, I thought the “break” would be like us closing the toolbox completely.  You have it, it’s there if you need it, but you aren’t focused on any of the tools inside; however, when I was led to imagine it more like that awesome top tray that you’ve stocked with your favorite items that give you energy.  Well imagine instead, if along the sides of it, it was covered with a beautiful washi tape, of your choosing, with words such as: 

  • Take a break.

  • Don’t forget to take a break. 

  • The breaks are good. 

  • Breaks are your friend. 

  • You have time to take a break.  Future-you is waiting and she’s not in a rush.

  • Rest is good.

Choose something here that allows you to feel peaceful and energized as you step into break time, so that you feel good about it.

00:05:20

What is interesting is that this episode was requested over six months ago.  Really.  And I’m creating it on my break from my day job.  I took three days off with no formal plans, no appointments, no calls I have to make, no plans with my husband, for me to do what I want.  And as a mother, it’s pretty miraculous, right?  For me, the thing I love to do is create things.  So I created episodes for the rest of the year and it feels amazing. 

00:05:53

We all know it makes sense to take the break, to rejuvenate, to get the sleep you need, to hydrate yourself, to eat well, but sometimes our Protector thinks they know better.  Tune in, my friend, to when you know in your bones that you need to take a break, and take it. Give yourself permission, tune into your future self. You know darn well, they’ll tell you to take the break. 

00:06:28

As I record this, we are in the midst of a level of physical distancing due to COVID-19 and you may be thinking, well 2020 has been one long break, hasn’t it?  Well, have you gifted yourself with time to not worry, to not process the 8 million things that you need to do to change the world?  To allow yourself time to process who you are and to move forward? 

00:06:50

Okay, so if we’ve made it to this part and you’re still pushing back on me like, “I can’t take the break, Christine,” let’s do some reasons that we all really know, but you know, maybe you need to hear it from me today.   

  • By stepping away, you have the opportunity to see what, if anything you miss about that thing. 

  • Sometimes, you’ll gain a new perspective that you wouldn’t have seen without the break. 

  • By taking a break, you’ll show up better for yourself, and others. 

Remember that your break should be your break and look like whatever it is that you need. Figure that out for yourself, open up your life’s toolbox and read your washi tape. 

[Music]

00:07:28

The questions I have for you in this episode are, are you good at taking breaks in your life?  And, when was your last break?  As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.  My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.  My next episode’s title is: Let's Talk About Divorce in the Empty Nest: Does the Empty Nest Cause Divorce? 

00:07:51

Do you know someone who could use this podcast?  Did you know that most people only listen to podcasts if they’ve been personally introduced to one?  Help me help others by thinking of one person you could share this podcast with, and do it. Thanks!  Happy Break Planning my empty nest friend!  Please remember, as you plan it and as you take it, that you are amazing!

[Bloopers]

00:08;36

Still listening? 

The break is worth it.  I can tell you that, because I’m on mine now.  Take the break. 

[Music]

[End]