30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Progress Isn’t Linear – Ditch Sessions (25/30)

The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 192

30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success: Progress Isn't Linear - Ditch Sessions💚 (25/30)

FULL TRANSCRIPT

[level-up music]

Progress isn’t Linear is our topic for today (Day 25) in the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success. 

[level-up music]

If this is your first time listening,  know we are diving into the challenge content. If you like what you hear, jump back to the episode titled “Getting Started with the 30-Day Challenge to Empty Nest Success” and then work your way through from the beginning - or visit EmptyNestSuccess.com to sign up for daily or weekly email delivery of this challenge that will lead you to companion videos, additional journal prompts, resources and more! 

Here we go: 

[end music]

00:42

Amazing human and beautiful soul, this topic is one you’ve probably heard multiple times before (from others)  but it resonates well in life and is always a great reminder: progress isn't linear. Those three words make so much sense. Do a quick Google Image search on the words: progress isn't linear  (I have it in my show notes) and your results will include some fun ways to illustrate this.

Some days you are going to feel on top of the world, you know when, you've got it all together, you can handle happenings that, and past you of five years ago would have been stopped in their tracks in awe - and you can feel that progress in your soul.

These are the moments when you are managing your thought-box-deliveries, in a, maybe, full-on household manager role (if you will). You are feeling clear, knowing Your Protector is well trained, maybe you feel you are on top of things: Your Protector is having a ball  - and overall you are loving life. 

Then, other times, you may feel derailed, or maybe your progress completely stopped. You feel as if you're almost going backwards because of something that was maybe unexpected or a thought-trigger that takes you right back to where you used to be. In our analogy, this would be a thought-box-delivery you thought you had safely stored away - and it popped up again, or it became illuminated. But, it may feel to you as if you’re stuck or in a rut. 

And since you know I love analogies, here’s one that bubbled up when I was speaking with a client: it’s that sometimes we may feel off course or as if we're going backwards. In these cases, you could imagine that you are riding a bicycle on a path. Imagine that this path is well-paved, you're enjoying life, you're feeling like you've got this, enjoying the breeze and the view… then suddenly, your bike tire pulls you off the path and into a ditch.

You find yourself laying on the ground, maybe your bike is even behind you -  you fell completely off [the] bike and in the impact of the landing, your reaction is to struggle in the ditch you are now in: imagine yourself lying down on your back, feeling pain in different spots on your body and then you decide to try and claw yourself out while continuing to lay down. 

You have thoughts like, “How did I not see where I was headed?  How did I end up here? Not again - am I always going to be in a ditch?”

You turn your body a bit, but the more you claw, and struggle the dirtier you become. Imagine a dry dirt that as you scrape the side of the ditch you are in, the dirt covers you more and more. And, yeah, you’re still lying down. Eventually, you just decide to stay there in the ditch complaining, periodically looking at the sky and wondering why you are stuck in this ditch. 

It then occurs to you that you didn’t take a moment to stand up - you take inventory (looking around) and realize this ditch isn’t deep at all, all you have to do is become vertical and take a step out of it.  

The thing is when you landed in the ditch, initially, while it wasn’t great, there was a familiarity about it that made you comfortable in some weird way. 

So, rather than immediately standing up, you went to your go-to thought-box-deliveries from prior moments.

Sometimes, the ditches of life that we fall in are well worn because they are paths we have taken time and time again. Other times, they are ditches created by others be it the media, or other humans. 

Noting that a ditch is just a ditch, sure you are in it, but that’s fine - you can learn from it, and move on. Easily stepping out of the ditch allows yourself to release the drama and quickly brush off any dirt that remains, and move on.

Stand up and brush off, is a great way to go. Or, yeah, as Taylor Swift would say, “Shake it off.” There’s no reason to beat yourself up for ending up in the ditch. Ditches will always be there. Yes, and sometimes we’ll spend time in them and sometimes we’ll glide right by. 

When you begin to navigate your ditch moments so that you spend the least amount of time possible in ditches,  your life gets interesting. 

This is human life. You are going to have moments where your progress flies high and you are soaring. You’re also going to have moments where you're feeling kind of stuck and in a ditch covered in mud. 

Try this thought: I’m stuck in a ditch and that is okay. How am I going to get out of it in a way that allows me to learn about myself, and maybe even have some fun along the way? 

Now, my listener, you may have already noticed this funny thing that occurred to me as I was reviewing the topic and script for this episode I realized I should probably clarify that I’m saying ditch that begins with a d as in dog. And then the thought of staying in the ditch creates the bitchiness in us, came to me: Stay in the ditch, create the bitch. 

And in bitch, I mean bitchy about life/complaining about life. It still makes me giggle. 

So, maybe we can call these DITCH sessions. [giggles]

ANYWAY, when we look at learning lessons about ourselves as we navigate out of our Ditch Sessions, we gain power. I do talk a bit about the leveling up in a different way in an earlier podcast episode - back in Season 1 - it’s episode 55- if you want to check it out - it’s yet another analogy for leveling up in life. As always, the link will be in the show notes.

The important thing here is that when you do catch yourself in these Ditch Sessions, be kind to yourself, because when you're in the ditch, and you say things to yourself like, “Oh man, I'm in the ditch. There's mud all over me. Why did I do this? I'm so awful. Oh, this ditch sucks. I’m stuck here forever. Will I always keep ending up here?” 

Amazing human, when we do this, we’re amplifying the power of the ditch and we keep ourselves there. If anything, we may be allowing some wounds that are just about healed or still open to become infected. 

To Recap: What if … when you notice your Ditch Sessions, you stand up, brush the dirt off and say, “Yeah, I was in that ditch. I own it. It happened. How can I maybe not get in that particular ditch again - or make my recovery when I land in that ditch again, not so bad? I wonder if there is even a way to make this fun, eventually? 

Amazing listener, you're gonna have ditch moments and days - sometimes they’ll even last even longer -  but that doesn’t mean they have to take over your life, become who you are and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’ll never again get out of the ditch. 

07:48

[level-up music]

Your journal prompt for today is … Can you think of a time where you felt as if no progress was being made in your life, but then there was a sudden breakthrough at a later date?

[exit music - upbeat] 

Thanks for listening today, notice your next Ditch Session, and don’t you dare forget that you are amazing! 

Chat next time!

[end]