157: Listen to this episode when you need help in appreciating the past and need some self-prioritization tips 💚

157: Listen to this episode when you need help in appreciating the past and need some self-prioritization tips 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

My goodness, you are amazing. Seriously! You are showing up in your own life and doing the thing. You are worth the joyous investment in who you are. 

As always, I'm cheering you on! 🎉

This is a FULL episode with a brand new "empty nest news" section for our consideration.  I'd love your thoughts. 

Have a presence-filled day! 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"I want to tell you, my beautiful, amazing friend, that any discomfort that comes up through conversations to make this happen for you - for you to allow yourself to have this time - you are so worth the incredible investment to become who you are. [Remember] we are working on your evolution of becoming you. It's not going to end tomorrow; it will keep going."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

🔽 More goodies below, too! Scroll down 🔽 , so you don't miss anything! 🔽 🔽 🔽 

It is here! 🎉 @emptynestcoach 's newest 🎙podcast episode: Listen to this episode when you need help in appreciating the past and need some self-prioritization tips 💚 #emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode #emptynestsuccess #whatIwishmyparentsknew #wins #5ofJoy▶

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 02:28 New Things: Changing the affirmations & And an apology about the word "work." 
  • 06:47 My Lessons Learned: An analogy for appreciating the past (vehicles) 
  • 13:50 Ask Coach Christine
  • 21:36 Christine, Where Are You? Hint: C.E.O. Training Team
  • 22:25 Celebrating You and Your Wins
  • 23:42 What's In Your Life's Toolbox? 5 Things of Joy
  • 25:55 Let's Find The Funny
  • 26:09 What I Wish My Parents Knew
  • 27:10 Empty Nest News (?): Should I make this a new segment?
  • 28:08 Two Questions For You
  • bloopers 😆
  • 29:22 Still listening? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college (or not college) and life.

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 157

FULL TRANSCRIPT


0:00

Hi, I'm Coach Christine. This is my podcast. It's the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast and we're on episode 157. Tap 30 seconds ahead if this isn't your first time listening and want to skip this introduction portion. In this podcast I focus on helping mothers who are freaking out about the Empty Nest ahead. We'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries though, all are welcome here as I'm all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of your life. And in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious, Effective Olympian. You'll do this by leveling up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments. Those small wins add up to big changes. I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go.

[up beat music]

This podcast is my gift to you, a parent adjusting to the idea of an Empty Nest, or possibly a student who's wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on. And maybe with a dash of my alter ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time, I'm here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

1:06

Some quick reminders, you'll find a ton of information, resources, and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to follow it in your favorite podcast player or register for a free account in the Empty Nest Success home. Those are the best ways to be notified when I release a new episode. A special thanks to our fabulous sponsor and my dear friends SupaPass!  SupaPass powers the online home for all available resources that I have created for you. If you like to jump around in an episode look for the time markers found in the show notes or within the show transcript.

01:55

[computer game level up music (short)]

My wish for you today.

My wish for you today is that you are able to release blockages that you weren't even aware are there for you. May you be able to become present enough to notice and recognize emotions going on within you. And to begin to look at them as signposts - as information for you on how to move forward. May this come easy for you in your daily search for being ever present.

[computer game level up music (short)]

02:28
New things, new things, new things.

If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you'll notice that from the beginning where I started to hear I have tried a lot of different things along the way groups, not groups coaching, small group coaching. Over the years, quite often those changes were led by outsiders telling me this is how I'm supposed to do something and silly me went along with the ride, one of the things I'm really leaning into is to be inspired versus motivated in the areas of my life where I can do so there are things I have to do. And then there are things that I'm inspired to do. And I believe 400% If that's possible that everything I do with this podcast, and my coaching needs to be from an inspired place because that way you're going to know if we're really good fit and vice versa. My most recent change came organically out of C.E.O. training team sessions.

Weekly, I post affirmation videos in nature in the Empty Nest Success community. The question I usually ask people is is there resistance to the statement there? and then we talk about their emotions that are around it, those types of things. And over the past month, I've really leaned into the fact that the emotions that you're feeling are way more important than we're giving credit to that I have given credit to them in the past. So, after a few sessions of this, I really got to thinking that I need to change these. I don't want somebody to come in and feel that resistance and be like I'm not any of that. That's where we want to get you to but you don't have to be there today. And I'm here to cheer you along as you grow to believe that. 

[bells]

So my first new thing that I want to share with you today is that as of July I am changing the way I present those they are all now going to have me reading the audio as, "What if?"  What if I believed I'm amazing? What if I could do anything I wanted. And I've created a printable document that you can utilize to process through it; think about on your own time; what works for you and there, what statements provide a lot of resistance and what emotions come up and how would you change it so that you believe all of it in a joyous, wonderful way.

[bells]

The second change I have to share with you today is one that I want to offer with an apology. Hear me out I have always said it takes a lot of work to figure out who you are. And I'm not disagreeing with that statement. But what I'd like to change and make my new thing going forward is to remove the word work from it, and change it into something else. And here's what I'm going to change it to

[bells] joyous investment in my evolution, that feels way better. That works for me. So here's the code. When I say joyous investment - peaceful investment - this is an investment... know going forward that that is my wording for work. Because work feels like drudgery. It's work. And yes, it doesn't change the action of what it does. But it changes my emotion in how I move forward. And hopefully, that comes through to you. And you can utilize it. Or, you can find your own words that work. Big fan of that here. So I apologize for using "work" so often in the past, it's going to take me time to clear that out from my content and resources. And, I may slip up here and there. So don't be shy on calling me out on that. Because I need to adjust that for all of us. What are your thoughts about that?

06:15 

Let me give a bonus new thing. And that is

[bells] ... that my plan for the rest of this year. And that can change because I do that all the time is that I will have one podcast episode out per month. That is plenty of time for me to be inspired to bring you amazing content. Great content and inspired content is my goal to deliver to you should I have a month where I feel inspired to do one or two extra episodes, I will do that.

06:47

[computer game level up music (short)]

My Lessons Learned

My lessons learned for this episode, I want to talk about a vehicle analogy that I recently heard from Abraham Hicks - who knows when this was said by Abraham Hicks, there are tons of YouTube videos that are on YouTube, of things that come from Abraham Hicks. And this analogy really resonated with me. So I want to share it with you and share where my mind went after hearing it. It was one of those things that I would find myself thinking about when I'm walking or sitting down and showering and all these extra pieces were coming into play in and just made so much sense to me. So I share that with you today. The analogy starts with imagine that when you're born, you are purely you 100% pure you  -you no other influence, that being in that moment knows exactly who they are. I like to have fun with it, so, I imagine like a beam of light is your soul. Like here's Christine's soul, it's there fully. However, immediately that beautiful soul who knows exactly who they are, before they can talk and remember things, they are placed into a vehicle. This is analogy again, remember, and this vehicle belongs to your parents or guardians. This vehicle has certain rules, it has certain level of protection to it or non protection to it. It maybe has power doors, like whatever analogy comes up for you that you can associate to your parents or guardians vehicle. And while that vehicle may not have been perfect, it got you to another stage in life, where you can see you're ready to upgrade. Or, maybe you just need to get into another vehicle for say going to school, or clubs. Eventually, workplace, you have friend groups, these are all different vehicles. And in each vehicle, there are different rules that you learn to follow. And you pop in and out of those.

08:45

Some of the vehicles may not ride well. They might have been tough. You pop in and out throughout your life. And remember, while you were this beautiful pure soul in the beginning, you've been in all these vehicles and that is all you remember. So those vehicles have created who you think you are. There comes a day, whether it's when you find this podcast, you find another coach or leader or teacher or on your own that you think, "I don't think I'm who I am."  This is a lot of the work I end up doing with my clients is getting them to trust themselves that there is a pure you that existed once before. And it makes sense that you have absolutely no idea who that is because you've never been allowed to get out of other people's vehicles. What I'd like to say today is trust, try trusting what if you have your own vehicle out there? Sure, you're going to have no idea what it is. If you've only been in other people's vehicles, each vehicle more than likely has a little different set of rules. So when you see one you're going to upgrade. Oh, I'm going to get that one that has power doors. Let me grab that one now. That's exciting. This could be anything for you. It could be a church home, your parents, your friendships, separate friendships are probably different vehicles for you. One of the important parts about this analogy, if it resonates with you, is that while a vehicle may not have been perfect, it may not be your end result. Because let's be real, we're all continually working on figuring out who we are and becoming a new person every day. One of the things I got out of this analogy that I was immediately able to apply to my marriage that just ended was while it wasn't perfect, and while I now have to figure out my own rules versus the rules that we had in that vehicle, is that we had some really good road trips in that vehicle, that vehicle got me to where I am today, that vehicle allows my daughter to exist, that vehicle has been a lot of fun over the years, it was just time for my husband and I to have different vehicles. When I shared this analogy with the C.E.O. Training Team, I got a bunch of different comments resonated really, really well. And everyone had a little bit of a spin on it. The one that was my absolute favorite. Hi there, if you remember who you are, is that I said, "Now it makes sense that we we get to this point where we have absolutely no idea who we are, who that person was in the beginning, how would we know we've never even considered that that exists. So of course, it's scary. A lot of times, it's super easy to just want to get back into some one of these other vehicles, even though it's not where you're meant to be, even though it doesn't serve you any longer, it feels super comfortable. Because you know, the rules there. You know how it works, you know that there's a I don't know, there's a gum wrapper there and nobody picks it up. But you're, you know, it's just become part of the vehicle now. So to take the action to get to any point of your life, whether you are 10,15, 18,19 ,40, 69,80, 110. Yes, people live that long. It is scary to realize that maybe you have no idea who you are. And the fun thing that this person said was yes, it's almost as if you get out of the vehicle. And you've realized you haven't packed your underwear. And then it just kept going or like yes, it's like you're you're getting out of the vehicle. And it's a four lane highway and the other vehicle is sitting there looking at you and you want to just jump back in, because that feels safe. And even though there isn't a lot of traffic on this highway, you're not sure you want to explore and figure out which vehicles best. And it also may feel like you're naked on the highway, because that's how it feels it can be that intimidating. But also, when you take that time to make the

[bells] investment in discovering who you are. Wow, it gets good. Because maybe now you get the power windows and you get the moonroof, or you get the convertible you've always wanted. And again, this is all analogy. It can be whatever you want, it can be who you are. And what if that whole time that you've been in all these other vehicles that discontent that you don't belong there is actually yourself telling you yes, that's that's actually right to this isn't exactly where you belong, not in this form, because you haven't figured out your own vehicle. How's that resonate? And a final reminder that those vehicles that got you to where you are today, those are important because that got you to where you are today. And today is a new day you get to move forward and appreciate the vehicles that got you here. While you discover the one you belong it.

13:50 

[computer game level up music (short)]

Ask Coach Christine

Christine, I'm having a lot of trouble prioritizing myself, what do I do? The first thing is when we take a look at the analogy I just talked about, we can realize that we have our own vehicles, but we need to discover them. To do that you need time for yourself. You need to explore different things you need to consider different things. Go with your joy, be able to clear your thoughts out and discover who you are and to trust your internal gut, your emotions, trust your feelings. I want to say that you are worth the investment to the [bells] joyous investment of the time to allow yourself to discover that I was asked about this so many times that I did a workshop on the topic (Empty Nest: Prioritizing Self). It's available to all C.E.O. Training Team members, but I want to give you the high level tips. This is more of a practical workshop.

Step one. [bells] It always starts with our thoughts. Of course just like everything here so often it resides in what we are thinking about ourselves if we are worth the time to prioritize ourselves if we're worth it, and I want to tell you you are, but you need to check your thoughts about that and make sure that you believe that I have so many episodes about that.

Second [bells] mental clutter, when we clear the thoughts when we're able to discover the thoughts that we have. And then we're able to clear them about all other topics, so many things, you gain time in your life, sometimes we immediately think we just need to clear our schedule, and everyone needs to walk around us. And yeah, sometimes that is the case. But also, sometimes we spend two hours thinking about something that is really none of our business, or worrying about something in the future, or rehashing something that happened in the past, when if we learn to catch ourselves in those moments, and to readjust into the present, you may find you gain hours a day, it's powerful. Third, start small. [bells]And by this I mean time, you don't have to clear a whole day. If you haven't given yourself time for things before, start with five minutes, start with 10 minutes, start with whatever that number is for you. That feels completely doable. And then add on. Fourth, [bells]find the fun, this may sound strange, but hear me out. When you start to actively look for fun in your life. It brings an emotion within your body that has you then looking for more fun, wanting more of that feeling. And that is a really fun place to be to motivate you to inspire you. Let's say inspire not motivated. To clear your calendar for yourself because you want more of that. And if you don't know what that is what you want to do with that time right now. It's okay, just start making the time even if it's five minutes and look for the fun. Number five [bells], notice and take inventory inventory of what okay, I'm not talking about the toolbox. In this episode, I'm actually talking about your life, all the things people, places, events, people, places, people, pets, people, things you do on the computer, people, Netflix, people? Did I say people? [giggles]

17:14
I feel like somebody needs to hear that. So there you go, people take inventory. And I don't mean necessarily a whole checkbox inventory list. But begin to notice who makes you feel amazing. Who inspires you, who has your back? When you say I think I need 15 minutes today; I could really use a day to myself, what are the reactions,? who is supporting you? it might surprise you. And begin to notice that and these are people you don't have to be around, maybe start limiting your time and freeing up your time that way. It's like a two for one.  Six [bells] Remember that less is more. And what I mean is not only in the time that you set aside for yourself, but also in what you want to do with that time. Sometimes our thing is so big like I want to go back to college, that there is never any action taken because it's such a huge thing. So the excuse to not make time for yourself is there because of the things so big, maybe consider a smaller thing, such as five minutes of reading, two hours of reading, picking up knitting, walking outside for five minutes. These are just examples. Maybe consider doing a small thing for yourself.

Now for some practical things to try with all of those. Patience. [bells] Remember, please be patient with yourself. This should be a joyous investment in you and be patient with yourself because this more than likely is a big change not only for you, but the people around you. So be patient with them because you, up till now, have conditioned them to expect you to behave in a different way. They might need a bit of a heads up. Here's a thought you can use. [bells] I am exactly where I need to be to move forward. Here's another thought [bells] that took exactly the time it needed. You can fight me on that one. Go ahead. But what's it get you? It took the time it needed. Whether it did or didn't if you sit there go wow, that shouldn't have taken two hours. I need three more days for that. Yeah, it took exactly the time it needed. You've got this, I believe in you. You can handle it next time you get back to it. One of the best things I've done over the last year is to [bells] schedule morning time for myself on my calendar. That is Christine time. I started with 30 minutes every morning. I didn't do it every day. When I did I was very happy. I also, for me, didn't plan to do anything in that 30 minutes. It was time for me to do whatever I felt inspired to do in that moment: total game changer. Now, I thrive really well on about an hour of that and I set aside a few hours every weekend just for that, and I get to do whatever I want to do that day. So put some time for yourself on the calendar, even if it's a small amount of time, honor it, you honor it, notice what or who causes you not to honor it.

20:16

Another tip [bells]: study hall time, I like to use this as a block of time on my calendar to be the catch all for the things that I didn't get done throughout the week. Do I get everything done? No, I don't, usually, I have ADHD, I jumped from things all the time. I like to use the study hall time to catch some of the things that are really important for me to get done that are half finished. So that was a lot of things and ideas. I have a couple others that I mentioned in my workshop, including a superpower up. But my wish is that maybe you're thinking about something a little bit differently, or you just needed to hear it again, I want to tell you, my beautiful, amazing friend, that any discomfort that comes up through conversations to make this happen for you, for you to allow yourself to have this time, you are so worth the incredible investment to become who you are. We are working on your evolution of becoming you. It's not going to end tomorrow, it's going to keep going. But first, you need to understand that you are worth that investment. You're worth the time. You are!

21:36

Christine, Christine, Christine, where are you?

[quirky music under segment]

While I may not be in your podcast player every week right now, you can find me most weeks active on TikTok, or Instagram. But the people who see me the most outside of my friends and family are my C.E.O. Training Team members. And, actually, I see them more than some of my family members. So, "Hi, all!"  We meet every Monday and most of the inspirational content that I'm -I mean that in I'm inspired to create content - is for them. First and foremost. They're who I'm thinking about they are the ones that I create for so where I am, most of the time is there. I'm also spending time off in nature and doing different types of activities that help me to invest in the evolution of Coach Christine.

22:25

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins. 

I'm going to pop over to the social media accounts right now. That's at Empty Nest coach and see if we have any wins to share my moment. All right, I've checked the LinkedIn. I just posted that an hour ago, so I really wasn't expecting anything. Instagram, Facebook. I don't do much there. TikTok Oo, we've got a microphone emoji on TikTok. Here we go. Hot Flashes and Cool Topics. My friends, Bridget and Colleen. Hi! Have you checked out their podcast? Because Holy cow. They're amazing. I think I know which one of you posted this but I'm not 100%? Sure. So I won't say but the win is: "my daughter really headed back to her home today. And I didn't cry." I'm so excited for you. I know that this is a big win and the amount of thought work that needs to happen and the growth into our new stage of life that needs to happen to get to a point where this is okay for a lot of people is huge, so well done. [crowd cheers] I'm gonna say my win is that I am sitting down and recording this episode. I say that a lot. But I'm super proud of it. And I have so much fun when I do it. I adore all of you.

23:42

[music & toolbox opening sound]

What's in your life's toolbox?

I've got another game changer to share with you. So, really take a moment to listen to this. Because if it's half as valuable to you, as it's been to me over the last month, it may change your life in a lot of different ways. In the beginning of this episode, I talked a bit about emotions and being able to tune into them and use them as guidance. I've been actively working to be present in an emotion of joy as much as possible. When I find my thoughts. Yes, I'm human. This happens all the time. I'm not always happy. Somebody said something about that. And I'm like, no, no, I'm not always happy. I try to be peaceful most of the time. But I am a human being. And sometimes, it takes me time to be there be present in that moment. And when I find moments that I am completely not present or there's an emotion that I realize I don't need to keep because the thoughts that I'm having aren't worth it. Rather than changing my thoughts. I have been leaning into trying to change that emotion first. And the tool I've been using is each day I choose five things that bring me complete joy, complete joy. I'd like to say five things that work always and I'm kind of leaning towards forest animals, because they do bring me quite a lot of joy, I come up with five things. And when I think of them, they are absolutely amazing. And for the people close to me, I'm starting to narrow down moments like the way they laugh at a certain joke or something. And that just brings me so much joy. So find five things that when you think of, oh, it just feels so good. And when you catch yourself throughout the day, the weeks, moments, in that emotion that you want to change and the thoughts - you're having trouble changing the thoughts- take your fingers on one hand, and touch your thumb to each one: 1,2,3,4. And then just go back. So you have five. And for each time you've touched a finger, think of one of those five things and go through that all five, just keep going until you can feel the joy inside of you and see what happens.

25:55

[music and laughter]

Let's find the funny 

I'm putting this in the show notes. SNL is old enough long term boyfriends. If you've seen the skit, you'll know immediately what I'm talking about. If you haven't, the link is in the show notes. Enjoy it, it is funny. 

[music and laughter]

26:09

What I wish my parents knew

I got a comment on TikTok mentioning that a student had returned home. And there was this immediate assumption that all the chores that they had when they left just went right into place. I think I interpreted that correctly. And this goes back to advice that I talk about for every single break vacation and time that you come back together to live under one roof as a family. And that is to have conversations about this ahead of time. Sure, as parents, we may expect them to come in and fill into their roles. But remember, they've been living independently somewhere else. And they may not be on the same plan anymore. I encourage you to have conversations as adults, because you may find that they're willing to do more than you thought in different ways. And just because it's not the way it used to be doesn't mean it's wrong. So I leave it as have some conversations.

27:10 [upbeat music]

[(Empty Nest News?)]

Should I make this a regular segment? I have a Google search on I think it's for Empty Nest coach, I probably have Empty Nest as well. But if you like the idea of this section, let me know. One that popped up recently was I like the title. I don't have access to it. So I can't tell you too much about what it says. But let's talk about the title real quick: Empty Nesters aren't saving for retirement like they promised. That's a problem. I gotta be honest, I just went through a divorce. So, saving for retirement is kind of on hold at the moment while I get myself back together. I can think of so many reasons why this happens that I read this title and I'm like, Yeah, cuz life. What are your thoughts? Have you read the article? Should we talk about stuff like this? Although, but I'll be honest, most of the news is usually about someone famous going into the Empty Nest years. And yes, that could be fun too.

28:08

Two questions for you. 

Question number one, Whose vehicle are you currently riding in?

And question number two, how good are you at making yourself a priority?

Well, in here we are at the end. As always, I provide content to make you think my Empty Nest friend, my hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. I'll be back in July and I'm planning that after a pretty big personal event happens. So I'll share that with you at that time. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to share it with others it is the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. Don't forget to follow it to and I leave you with no matter what vehicle you're currently riding in in this moment. analogy or not... You are amazing. Chat next time.

[bloopers]

Me getting used to recording in this new home is taking some effort. There's a bird, you need to explore different things you need to consider....see it agrees numbers six are we on six I think good ending.

29:22

Still listening? I turned 51 This month, and I also had an opportunity to become part of Rachel Pedersen's TikTok internship program. I got accepted. I'm on week three out of four. So, by the time this goes live, I'll be in the final stage. It's kind of fun to say, "I'm an intern at age 51." When you begin to throw yourself out to different experiences, you never know what's going to happen. As always, I am cheering you on!

[end music]

[end]

156: Checking In 👋 Regular Episodes Return Soon💚

156: Checking In 👋 Regular Episodes Return Soon 💚

Hello, my amazing friend. 👋

Today I want you to know I've been thinking about you and that I'll be back with regular podcast episodes soon!

As always, thank you for listening. I appreciate you!! 

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"In my last episode,  I announced that I was giving myself a podpause because there was the potential that I would have to move in the spring. Well, I called that. I did move. "

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Listen to @emptynestcoach 's 🎙podcast episode: Checking In 👋 Regular Episodes Return Soon 💚#emptynest #life #emptynestsuccess #newepisode #podpause #readyforwhatisnext ▶

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This Episode is Brought To You By

Episode Topics & Their Minute Markers

  • 00:00 Podcast intro
  • 00:31 Thank you for your patience & an update
  • 01:00 Affirmation videos
  • 01:52 Thank you C.E.O. Training Team Members
  • 02:15 Still Listening? 

💚Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

* affiliate link to SupaPass - which powers our community! Should you purchase using the link, I make a commission.

Subscribe To This Podcast

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 156

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hello, my future empty nest friend. This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of may alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:00:31

I wanna thank you for your patience with me. In my last episode,  I announced that I was giving myself a pod pause because there was the potential that I would have to move in the spring. Well, I called that. I did move. I bought a manufactured home. I live in this adorable trailer park community that feels wonderful. 

I am so thankful that I gifted myself with the space to not think about the podcast, even though, I've missed you all so much during this time.

00:01:00

(I) just finished recording all of the affirmation videos up through the end of June. And while I was in here - in audacity - I thought, "let me do a quick shout out to my podcast listeners. Let you know that I am coming back; I'm excited to come back; and if you've missed me and you want to hear affirmation videos, look at the link in the description. You'll find it also on my website. 

All you need to do is register, and weekly I will send out a video to you. It is less than a minute, usually - sometimes it's up to a minute and a half. It's an affirmation for you, with my walk in nature. I put those together and send them out each week. 

If you want all of those, there's a product for that. And, of course, if you join the C.E.O. Training Team,  you get all of them as well. It's included in your membership, and that I will be opening super soon for everyone. 

00:01:52

Thank you to my current C.E.O. Training Team members, who have been with me through the transition. I love you all. I love you, listeners. Thank you for being here for me. I am cheering you on, as always. Take care, and remember that you are amazing. 

[end music]

00:02:12

Still listening

No bloopers today, but I will tell you that the C.E.O. Training Team membership is open, and we have a special offer. So definitely, check it out. 

[end music]

[end]

98: How to Deal with Difficult People

98: How to Deal With Difficult People

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

I recorded this episode a few weeks ago. Created for the moments in your life where other humans rub you the wrong way: when you know you have to work around them (or with them), and something about them pushes your buttons.

To be clear, I would not use this process for racist, abusive, or anti-humanity situations.

But for those button-pushers that you need to navigate around in your life, seeking peace within yourself isn't meant to help them, it is to help you. Imagine finding different ways to navigate your interactions going forward. We don't learn these things to quickly tell our friends and family how to do things better so they'll be a better person. Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

No, WE change how we handle things, and then others may want to know more - or they won't - either way, you have more peace in your life. Life gets interesting when peace is within you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Another human in your life is always outside of your fence. You can’t control them. You can’t control their thoughts or actions. What you CAN control is your thoughts about them."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

That person that ALWAYS rubs you the wrong way - just by showing up? Someone come to mind? Then, this episode is for you: How to Deal with Difficult People 💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #emptynest #MomHelp #MomPodcaster

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • How to use the concept of a protector to view others differently
  • To remember to protect your energy - and those problematic humans may disappear on their own

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Who did you have in mind when you began listening to this episode? 
  2. How may you picture their protector in a way to provide peace in your life?

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 98 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 98: How to Deal With Difficult People. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you? I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:46

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! I’m going to share some personal updates and changes around the podcast with you before I dive on into the topic of this episode. If you want to skip this part, skip ahead a bit. I was all ready to get back into the quick tips episodes but then I realized how much time I was spending on them; a lot of time. I do everything on these episodes, from emailing the team to gather submissions, editing through all post-production including all the social media posts. Here is the thing, I do really enjoy that work, probably because I’m collaborating with a lot of amazing women, but I spent some time recently checking in with future Coach Christine and guess where I ended up? I was led to this statement: let it go, Christine, so that you can spend your time being the best coach and serving others well.

00:01:37

It also became apparent to me that I was unconsciously using this work for the Quick Tips Episodes as a time filler, or almost as an excuse or buffer. Have you been there before?  Meaning that, if I’m not successful in my coaching plans, then I could always blame the time I put into this as why I wasn’t successful. Oh, my goodness!  Have you ever immediately known the answer to something, but because of promises you had already made or because you know it’s going to make you super uncomfortable, you decide to still keep on doing what you are doing? Yes, it happens to me, too, and I want to share those moments with you, because these are the moments where we learn the most about ourselves.  These are the moments where we have the ability to level up. After a few weeks of checking in with myself, doing thought work, working on my CEO Toolbox, I’ve decided to let go of the Quick Tips episodes. Originally, I was going to do two more in June, but alas, they are no more. It feels really good, too.  Once you work through it, get to the other side, it’s like yes, I’ve committed to myself.  This is great.

00:02:47

It was meant to be a year-long experiment.  Well, that’s ending early. I’m really happy with the results, and the work. It is a bittersweet goodbye to a project that I’m crazy proud of. Now, if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, all hope is not lost.  What I’m going to do is have a brand new section of my Friday episodes for these. Today is our first one. Let me know what you think of the new section.

00:03:10

On another note, if you would like to be a guest on this podcast, I’m looking for listeners who have applied lessons from the podcast and would like to share your voice and experience with others. Is this you? Reach out to me, today. A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback, either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. 

Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com. I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:03:59

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:04:43

To continue some thank yous, one of my clients sent me this recently. 

“So glad to have your podcasts and love the way you’ve adapted to the "not so empty nest". You have been of TREMENDOUS help and I've applied your advice and approach with great success. I am starting a part time job that is exactly what I have dreamed of!! Can't believe it. Applying the idea of keeping the "protectors" at bay was very instrumental. (Long-winded note - but I really want to share with you how valuable your support and overall approach has been from the very beginning)."

Thank you, amazing lady, for your continued encouragement. You know who you are. 

00:05:32

[Birds chirping] 

Ah, isn’t it wonderful that your life is peaceful? It is incredible that you don’t have a single person that ever drives you crazy, grates on your nerves, annoys you, or you simply can’t stand. That you shower every human you meet with patience, grace, mercy and love. How can you not love them?  They are a beautiful human and wonderful.

00:06:04

[Rolling thunder]

Okay, back to reality. I’m going to make the assumption today that what I just described to you sounds like a fantasy-land. That you can’t imagine anyone living like that. I’m also going to assume that you do have a handful of individuals in your life who you would consider to be difficult to be around. If that sounds more like your life, then this episode is for you. If you are a loyal listener, I’m willing to bet you already know where this is headed, but I want to give you extra imagery to assist you in moving forward. To assist you when you do, heaven forbid, run into difficult humans. 

00:06:44

I will be using vocabulary in this episode that I use often, but may be new to you, should you be a newer listener. If the mention of thought-deliveries, your Protector, and the fence that you have in your life makes you wonder what I’m talking about, I recommend that you check out some of my earlier series of episodes for clarification on how I use these terms. Links are in my show notes. High-level, though, and a quick refresher for everyone: your thoughts are something you choose. Imagine that your mind is like a house; that it’s fenced in. Imagine also, that you have a Protector, a security guard of sorts, who protects your mind’s property, everything you can control in your life. 

00:07:26

Your Protector distributes your thought-deliveries and does one of three things: handles the thought-delivery for you; provides you with a status report on what has arrived; or forces the thought-deliveries into your property, making that all that you see. How your protector handles your thought-deliveries has everything to do with how well you have trained them. Ultimately though, you control everything within your fence, and that is all you control. 

00:07:54

With that high-level review, let's return to the difficult people in your life. There are two things at play here, one, your thought delivery about the difficult person and two, other humans have their own Protector. Let’s look at your thought-deliveries first, since that is what we are able to control. Remember, another human in your life is always outside of your fence. You can’t control them; you can’t control their thoughts or their actions. What you can control is your thoughts about them. If the moment they appear in your life, you have thoughts such as: she drives me crazy; he is awful; this human gets on my nerves so bad; why are they so annoying; I can’t stand them. Well, my friend, those are all thoughts. Thought-deliveries that your Protector has marked high priority and forced in for you to open and deal with. Ask yourself if any of those thought-deliveries bring a positive sensation to you?

00:08:49

Actually, try something for me? Imagine a rock; a smooth grey rock. You find it on the ground. You pick it up, and think to yourself, this is a lovely rock. How do you feel imagining this? 

Now, what if you picked it up the same rock but this time think to yourself, I can’t stand rocks. Do you have a different sensation? I sure do, and it’s a rock. It hasn’t done anything to me outside of being a rock. With that rock in mind, imagine the thought-deliveries you label around difficult humans, and the impact it has upon your life. The rock isn’t impacted by your thought, and neither is the difficult human. Also, the moment you label someone as difficult, you’ve jumped right from a human being outside of your fence all the way into your thought-delivery and sensation. We can assume that your Protector is not well trained.

00:09:46

Understand that there’s a difference between observing Jane Doe as talkative, and then finding a thought around it, versus observing Jane Doe and thinking she’s annoying. Another thing, did you, by any chance, notice that one of the thought-deliveries that I listed initially is a question? We have to be very careful with questions sent in as thought-deliveries, and should train our mind to return those to sender immediately.

00:10:15

The question was, “Why are they so annoying?” My friend, your brain is an amazing machine and it wants to serve you well. If you ask it a question, it’s going to try to find an answer for you, so when you ask it, “Why is Jane Doe so annoying,” guess what you’re going to get back? All the reasons you can find that makes Jane Doe a nightmare for you to deal with. If you were instead, to catch yourself in something like this and flip the question around to say, “What are strengths that Jane Doe has?” or “What challenges does Jane Doe have in her life that I can assist her with?” Now you are putting your brain to work for good. Let’s save our mind’s energy for consciously choosing to solve things in our life that impacts us the greatest.

00:11:03

Now to pop back to the second concept at play, when we have “difficult” people in our lives. If you are still listening, you more than likely understand your Protector and how to (or that you should) train them, which allows you to keep in mind that other humans have a Protector, also. This allows you to lighten up your interactions with your designated humans and I encourage you to have fun with this. Remember, most humans have no clue that they have a Protector of sorts. They are not present enough in their life to observe their thoughts, to consider their thoughts as optional, which means they live in an obscured, reactive mode most of their life. They react to others without any thought as to the why. Sometimes they react a certain way because that is what they are supposed to do, it may not even be a conscious choice for them. 

00:11:58

You can understand this because you lived most of your life living this way, and you now see the impact this, and knowing this, has made into your life. Knowing that Jane Doe coming up to you and you don’t have to think she’s an awful human, you can choose a different thought.  That, my friend, is life-changing. I share this with you not for you to start going around and telling people everywhere that they have a Protector and that they better start proper training to get a handle on their life. No. This isn’t something you can throw at someone, run away and expect change. I mean, I guess you can do that, but it’s not something I recommend. 

00:12:37

I say this often, but remember this work is your work. Those other humans are outside of your fence. You can’t make them understand this and you certainly can’t make them want to hear it. What you can do is begin to be curious about their Protector. Keep it to yourself, in your mind.  Begin to notice that the difficultness you see in them isn’t them. It isn’t their underlying essence of who they are. Actually, they probably have no idea who that would even be if you asked them.  No, you have the pleasure of interacting with their Protector who is on high-alert, takes their job seriously, and bosses them around. Which allows you to approach your future interactions with this human in some new ways to make your life more peaceful. 

00:13:28

One way is that you can find a way to imagine their Protector in a way that makes you love who the person is underneath, in a way that helps you to want to know more, to listen and to reach out.  This is all for you to keep to yourself. For some people, I’ll imagine a five-year-old in a sandbox throwing sand. They think that sandbox is all they have and they are protecting their work, not knowing that there is a whole huge world outside of that sandbox, and thank goodness it’s only sand they are throwing. For others, I imagine a flat-out bully for their Protector. I imagine that the human underneath is cowering in a corner, afraid to push back on their Protector because if they did they might have to face who they are, and they have no idea who that would be. You can imagine anything you want here. The goal is to bring peace to your life, friend. That is what this is for, not to have the knowledge to educate them. Tricky, isn’t it? 

00:14:31

The second thing you can do when imagining another human’s Protector is to remember that when their Protector comes at you, they are looking for energy. Their Protector wants to prove their worth; to let their human know that they do such an incredible job that they’ll always need them.  Should you now begin to react differently to this Jane Doe human, and provide them with no energy back, their Protector will become bored with you and will search out others to kind of feed off of in a way.  Isn’t there a book out now about energy vampires? There is a character in the show “What We Do In The Shadows” who is an energy vampire, and his introduction to the office I found hysterical. It is like that though. Imagine that their Protector is normally on high-alert with you.

00:15:23

The Protector is the one you deal with after all, and that that Protector is looking for reasons to send thought-deliveries to their human who they protect, but if you stop giving them reason to do so, one of two things will happen.  One, the human will go find someone else to be around (you won’t even have to ask them to leave, it will happen. It’s looking for other energy). Two, the human’s protector will be curious, and maybe confused, and you may find, over time, that your relationship with this other human completely changes in a positive way. As someone who has been noticing this for a while now, what is super interesting to me is the people who will disappear from your life and the people who will change naturally. It is absolutely fascinating.

00:16:12

My theory, after seeing this enough in my life and in my client’s lives, is that those who move quickly to others are so controlled by their Protector that they can’t for a moment consider anything else, and all they know is that you aren’t providing them with the energy you used to. Life, everyday life, becomes entertaining when you begin to see Protectors for others. Some lovingly hug their human and respect their human knowing they know what is best. Others are a big old bully. They are ten feet ahead of their human clearing the way for anything that could possibly be an obstacle for them. No one, not even that human, knows who is behind them.

00:16:55 

Between that image and the image of different Protectors, yes, I’ve been highly entertained. There are days, of course, when I forget all of this and react. But thankfully, the change, of course, is usually fairly quick now, because I see the energy exchange clearly, and it becomes much more fun to throw people off course with unexpected reactions, than to hand them over control of my emotions and to give them energy that reactively comes right back to me. Give it a try. Let me know if anything in this resonates with you. Also, please notice that I didn’t title this episode abusive people. I titled it difficult people. So use this in relationships that test you, and that you are stuck in for now, to gain peace in your life.  With this knowledge and the ability to set boundaries for yourself, there is a chance that you will gain clarity on relationships that you have been confused about to date. This takes time though, friend, so have fun with it, don’t be surprised when relationships change, and see where it takes you.

00:17:59

Of course, should you need help with this, I am available to the GPS Support Flock Members in multiple ways:  workshops, group coaching, forum questions and more. I have also created an online quiz for you to discover if the Support Flock is a good fit for you. If you are curious, fly on over to YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for the quiz and another community option for my podcast listeners, or send me a private message on the socials. You’ll find me @emptynestcoach. Message me the words Flock membership and I’ll send you the link to learn more. See you online, friend! [Music]

00:18:37

The questions I have for you in this episode are, who did you have in mind when you began listening to this episode? And, how may you picture their Protector in a way to provide peace in your life? 

00:18:52

Christine? Christine? Christine? Where are you? Have you had a chance to read Judy Holland’s book: Happinest: Finding Fulfillment When Your Kids Leave Home? I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to review her book, and found my name on the back cover as an endorsement. How fun is that? Judy has expertly curated information for anyone adjusting to the empty nest. Definitely check it out. Link will be in my show notes. Hashtag, not an affiliate. [Music]

00:19:29

My Empty Nest friend, today’s quick tip comes from Laurie of Travel Tips by Laurie. Her tips were submitted before our physical restrictions went into place, and as someone who follows Laurie, I can tell you if you are looking for the most recent updates to airline travel, definitely follow her. She has up to date information. Thanks for sharing your tips with us, Laurie. 

[Music]

00:19:57

Laurie:  Hi, Christine.  I thought some of your empty nesters have saved money to spread their wings, now that their kids are spreading their wings.  I have six travel tips and tricks for hotel rooms, in case they want to now visit their kids or visit the world.  I’m a Houston-area pilot’s wife, and I share tips and tricks on my “Travel Tips by Laurie” Youtube channel to help people travel the globe without a worry in the world.

00:20:22

My brilliant subscribers have shared their travel hacks with me, and I have learned some from the many mistakes I have made while traveling.  The number one tip or trick for a hotel room is to use the paper coffee cup in your hotel room for makeup brushes.  Just put them in a plastic baggy, in your suitcase, and then when you get in the hotel room, just drop them in that paper coffee cup.  Number two is a travel hack that a mother of three grown daughters gave to me. This hack is to use the ironing board as an extension of your countertop for your toiletries, your makeup, a curling iron, but be sure to use a washrag or a towel to cover up that ironing board, in case someone’s trying to iron a white shirt later, and they’ll get makeup on it.  My pictures and my videos do this a lot more justice.

00:21:11

The number three travel hack is to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob, even when you’re touring the city, to deter burglars, because they think you’re in your room, when really, you’re out touring, but you’ve put that Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob. The fourth travel hack is to point your shoes in the direction of the nearest stairwell, in case there’s heavy smoke from a fire in the middle of the night, you know where that elevator is, but you might not be thinking clearly in the middle of the night to remember which stairwell is the closest.

00:21:42

Number five is to use the hotel dry cleaning plastic bag to pack your bathing suit, or hiking shoes that are still wet, and my favorite travel hack of all times is number six, and that’s to use the pants coat hanger to keep your hotel curtains closed, so that that bright sunshine light does not wake you in the morning when you wake up.  You can find me on Youtube at “Travel Tips by Laurie.”  I hope these help.  Thanks again, Christine.

[Music]

00:22:09

Christine:  Well my empty nest, CEO of Your Life, friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. I saw writing in the sky today that told me that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Wrapping up the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I share about the importance of a well-curated toolbox. For best results, your CEO toolbox must contain resources chosen specifically for you.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids - if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Is the toolbox for your life well stocked? Do you have the band-aids and the cures inside?  Take a listen to this episode of the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast!  💚 #listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom #lifetoolbox #emptynestcoach

Click to Tweet

This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider Your Foundational Level Items
  • To Begin to Fill Your Conscious Effective Olympian (CEO) Toolbox
  • To Periodically Inventory Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Consider Drawing a Picture of Your Toolbox

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How is the inventory in your CEO Toolbox? 
  2. Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox?

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources

Subscribe To This Podcast

It is FREE!

Want to get notified of new episodes directly on your phone? Subscribe to this podcast using your favorite app!

Join the Flock Created For You

"This program was truly a life altering gift. I am a kinder person to myself and a better person to others around me. I have a stronger relationship with my spouse. I have better work relationships. I have the most amazing relationship with my children. But most importantly, I have the best relationship I could have with myself. Thank you, Christine! " ~ Michele D.,  Membership Member & Program Beta Client


FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 96 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 96: The CEO Toolbox Part 6, Your Foundational Tools. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox of your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast in this episode, making this episode a bit more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through. 

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take an opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course, I will always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 96 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P96) I can’t wait to hear from you! [Music]

00:01:54

Thanks! Thank you! It’s time to thank our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document. You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community. See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com. Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:37

It’s time to wrap-up this series: the Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox series of episodes. We’ve discussed why consciously having a toolbox is helpful in your life. We’ve discussed what to store in that top, removable tray,of your toolbox, and we are working now on those tools that you always want with you, those that are in the base level, or foundational-level of your toolbox. Your CEO toolbox is for you to stock, so ultimately what you put inside is completely up to you. The top tray items should be things that you consciously choose to use when you aren’t able to dig deep into that base level right away, the band-aids, if you will. The foundational-level items are the deeper work, the cure for what ails you.

00:03:27

In my foundational-level, of my toolbox, I have presence, the CEO Analysis Tool, Flock Support, and in the rest of the space, other items that work specifically for me. I want you to spend time figuring out what works best for you. We all have different strengths, different gifts, and different ways in which we learn best, so me prescribing items to put in your foundational-level, may make you throw the whole thing out if one item doesn’t work for you. I don’t want to be a part of that possibility for you. 

00:04:02 

Again, this is your toolbox, so stock it with what moves you forward. What serves as band-aids for you? What helps you repair moments, and what moves you closer toward the best version of future-you possible? For me, one of the other items that I have in my foundational-level is my life’s purpose statement. This changes over time, but it is a statement that I say to myself daily, to remind me who future-me is, and why I do what I do. I’ve found that having this statement allows me to be in the right energy for moving forward, for working on myself, for doing daily tasks that otherwise may not be extremely compelling to partake in.

00:04:45

My purpose statement reminds me of who I am. It is written in the present tense and I have modified it countless times to get it to where it is today. It is a continual work in progress. Consider a purpose statement for your life. If you are a GPS Support Flock member, I’m happy to review your purpose statement for you, and give you pointers on how to make it more powerful. If you like the idea of a purpose statement try using one. 

00:05:13

How about journaling? Do you like it? Do you love it? Does it serve a purpose for your life? Morning pages, a bullet journal or whatever format works for you. Be sure it assists you in moving forward, if you’re allowing it to take up space in your life. How about a vision board? Be sure that when you spend time with your vision board that it creates a momentum in your life, rather than creating an awareness of what you currently lack to get to those visions. Does that make sense?  We always want you moving forward. How does that vision board make you feel? 

00:05:46

Maybe for you,  you spend time alone once a year to work on yourself, be it mentally, emotionally or physically, or just being. There is a tremendous amount of power in that. There are no rules, my friend, on what needs to go in your foundational space. If you have no idea where to start, just pick two things. More than a handful of items and you may not know what to use when, but again, this is your toolbox, so you make it what you need it to be. Take inventory periodically of what is in your toolbox, as there are times when tools and resources serve our lives really well, but then, only for a season. Those seasonal items should be cleared out periodically. You may bring them back, but don’t force an item into your box because it appears to work for your best friend. Find what works for you.

00:06:36

If you are the type of person that needs me to give you direction, well then, try having three go-to items in your top-tray of your toolbox and choose two to focus on for your foundational-level, then modify from there. Consider drawing a picture of your toolbox. Label it and picture it in your mind clearly, so that when you feel you need help, you may quickly picture your options, rather than spinning into a frenzy of emotion. Let’s be honest, you may still choose the frenzy of emotion, but consciously choosing it and letting it run you, are different states of energy in your life.  Which do you prefer?

00:07:13

With that, we’ll keep this episode at a high-level and wrap it up, because I’d like to know what sorts of things help you dig deeper within yourself. What helps you to move forward? Do you have anything as of yet? How well stocked is your toolbox, my empty nest friend? 

Of course, we do dive deep into these concepts in our GPS Support Flock Membership with a workshop, worksheets and more. We’d love to have you join us and the flock can slide right into the bottom of your toolbox! [Music]

00:07:43

Two formal questions I have for you in this episode are: How is the inventory in your CEO toolbox? Do you already have great foundational items for your toolbox? Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities, and share your answers to these questions with us. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:08:08

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? I visited with Amy Waterman in January. She and I chatted over video. That’s right, you won’t find this conversation on a podcast. You’ll find it on Amy’s website: YourBrilliance.com, or on her YouTube Channel Your Brilliance TV. The title of our talk? “Empty Nest Tips for Rediscovering Yourself with Coach Christine.” Amy is absolutely lovely. I encourage you to check out all of her interviews as soon as you have a chance.

00:08:48

Well my empty nest CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all. As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. Guess what? You are amazing! See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]

94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5, Find Your Flock

94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5, Find Your Flock

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Continuing in the series of your CEO (Conscious Effective Olympian) life toolbox, in this episode, I encourage you to find your flock - and to evaluate the flock(s) already in your life. A well-placed, positive flock in the foundational level of your CEO toolbox has the potential to lift you to heights that would be incredibly challenging, or impossible to reach if you were flying solo.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"A good flock will lift you to heights you couldn't do on your own by holding you accountable, being in line with your principles, and bringing positive energy to what you do." 

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

Do you have a great flock in your life? Your @emptynestcoach asks this question in this episode and you should check it out! 💚#listeningto #midlifemom #emptynestmom

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This Episode is Brought To You By

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now: voicemail/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • To Consider The Flock Support That You Have In Your LIfe
  • What To Look For In a Flock for Your CEO Toolbox
  • To Find Your Flock
  • To Consider Our Flocks

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. Do You Have a Great Flock in Your Life?
  2. Are you ready to join the GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 94 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

00:00:00

Christine:  You are listening to the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast with Coach Christine, episode number 94: The CEO Toolbox Part 5: Find Your Flock. I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest. My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it. Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion. I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you. This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:48

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life! This episode is in a series of episodes about the toolbox for your life. If this is your first time here, know that I reference topics introduced in prior series of this podcast, in this episode, making this episode a more advanced topic. Should you find yourself wondering what I’m talking about, head back to the prior series and work your way through.

00:01:12

A quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode, or if something resonates with you, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number. You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea? Of course I’ll always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website. Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 94 (for this episode’s number). (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P94) I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:01:55

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon!

00:02:41

To continue some thank yous, I would like to give a shout out to five amazing ladies who jumped in a couple of weeks ago to take over my Instagram account on short notice. It was a new experience for me and for those who participated. Thank you to Carolyn Kiel of Beyond 6 Seconds, Colleen and Bridgett of Hot Flashes & Cool Topics, Katherine the 5 Kilo Traveller & Deirdre Dolan Nesline of Declutter by Dierdre. If you missed their takeovers, I saved their takeovers in an Instagram highlight, so check it out.

[Music]

00:03:11

How is your life’s toolbox doing? That Conscious Effective Olympian (or CEO) toolbox, is it useful? Have you fully taken inventory? Is it well stocked? Is it jam-packed and needing some cleaning out? Or is it brand new and you are wondering what to put inside? We’ve discussed in this series the top-tray of your toolbox, those self-help-esque items that are your goto beneficial things in your life that serve you well until you have time to work with your foundational items. In this episode, we continue to work through our foundational items. I have, so far, asked you to consider adding presence and adding the CEO Analysis Tool to the base of your toolbox.  That one alone took two episodes.

00:03:56

Today, I want you to consider whether or not you have a flock that you belong to, a community of humans that lift you up, encourages you and helps you to become more of who you are meant to be. I would like you to consider adding that flock or a future flock to the foundational level of your toolbox. For you, this flock may be a few individuals that you see one on one, or you may have multiple groups of people who already serve you well in this regard. If so, consider yourself lucky, and lovingly stock your toolbox with these amazing humans. I’ve been watching a lot of “Ozark” lately, so I guess I feel like I need to say this is an analogy, of course.  No stuffing of real humans in boxes, please. [Giggle]

00:04:43

Be sure that for a flock to reside in your foundational-level of your life’s toolbox that it has at minimum of these four criteria: 

First, there are no leadership issues. There is either a clear leader; no leader, where everyone is equal; or different individuals lead at different times with no drama. This is important as with no resistance or little resistance in the group, all flock members have the opportunity to become their best selves. That just is exciting, isn’t it?

Second, the flock has values, priorities and a focus that is in line with your life and plans for your life. This will assist you in remaining on the correct path for your future-self.

Third, the flock has accountability, meaning if a flock member should fall out of formation while the flock is flying, the member will notice the extra resistance and immediately get back into line. This provides you an extra boost while staying on your path. Sometimes your GPS loses its signal and this is where the flock accountability will serve you well.

Fourth, the flock brings positive energy to your life. Life is too short to spend time in a flock that may have served you well ten years ago, but every time you join them, the energy brings you down. 

If someone, or a group, came to mind to you as I said that, please, keep it in mind.

00:06:18

I discuss a bit about the power of having a community to lift you up in Episode number 17 where I introduce the Green Popsicle Stick fable. I also mention, way back in episode 3, the importance of finding social support as you enter the empty nest. A good flock will lift you up to heights you couldn’t do on your own; by holding you accountable, being in line with your principles, and bringing positive energy to what you do. A bad flock can keep you grounded for life. My friend, figure out who your flock is. Do they know the real you? Are they lifting you higher? If you already have that group, take a moment to realize how lucky you are, and I would give them a special thank you, today. 

00:07:05

Should you want to add another flock, or are in search of a flock to fill this role, I invite you to consider joining our membership group, the GPS Support Flock: Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest. I invite you to keep me posted on your toolbox progress, too. I look forward to sharing a final foundational-level message with you in our next episode. 

[Music]

00:07:27

The questions I have for you in this episode are: Do you have a great flock already in your life? Are you ready to join the GPS Support Flock, Your Flight to Empty Nest Success? We can’t wait to have you join us! Fly on over to my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com/community for links to join either of my online communities. We look forward to seeing you there!

00:07:51

Christine? Christine? Christine, where are you? In January, I was quoted in a Redbook article titled “10 Ways to Be the Kind of Parent Your Kid Looks Up To.” My tip is number 5 and the topic is “Give them Space.” Link is in my show notes if you would like to check it out. 

00:08:13

My empty nest, CEO of Your Life friend, if you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It is free after all! As always, I provide content to make you think. My hope is that I am able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life. May you find your flock and find future-you because she is amazing.  My empty nest friend, you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

[End]