113: When Something Unexpected Comes Along: Pots on the Stove 🍳

113: When Something Unexpected Comes Along: Pots on the Stove 🍳

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Some years the unexpected is more the norm than the norm (whatever that means). The unexpected has a way of leveling us up, stretching us, and making us stronger. When we focus on a specific project or route for our lives, the unexpected may cause gut reactions such as, 

  • "Why have I been working on this project the whole time?" or
  • "My work must have moved out of my zone of genius."

Or the dreaded:

  • "Wow, I've been on the wrong path this whole time!"

Sure, that could be the case, but when we zoom out to the bigger picture of our life, it might only be time to move that project to the warming oven for a bit until other things have matured. You'll never go wrong if you consider both before making a big decision.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Try different things, and know that some “recipes in the pots' are going to cook up a lot quicker than you were expecting."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙Unexpected opportunities? Does it mean you are off your life's course? Coach Christine discusses in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Opportunities #Challenges💚

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What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy to Consider When Unexpected Opportunities Enter Your Life
  • To Remember to Discern What You Are Making it All Mean
  • To Remember that What You Are Making it Mean is Optional

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How many pots do you have on your stove?
  2. Is this analogy useful?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 113 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s coach Christine.  This is my podcast, it is the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss When Something Unexpected Comes Along and it’s episode number 113.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my future empty nest friend and CEO of your life, and CEO around here, that is short for Conscious Effective Olympian of Your Life!  You know all of that simmering I have talked about in an early episode and within many episodes since then?  Today, let’s consider that our life may have more than one pot on the stove.

00:01:10

Before we head into our imaginary kitchen, I am about to open up a few spots for one-on-one VIP intensive coaching.  This is for those of you who can set aside two and a half hours with me.  You’ll have my full attention.  We’ll walk through your current situation, all of the tools and resources available in the Flock, how to best use them.  We’ll even create a custom path just for you.  To get on my list, message me on Instagram or send me an email at Christine@youremptynestcoach.com.  I can’t wait to work with you!

00:01:44

Of course, I need to remind you that I have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 113 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P113).

00:02:02

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:02:49

[Boiling sound]  

In an earlier episode, episode number 29, I talk about looking at life as a simmer.  While we learn and grow, it is the time needed to become who we are meant to be, and rushing to a boil is a ton of energy that may put our lives in a state of frenzy. I say a bunch more about ingredients, recipes and such, and I’ll have a link in my show notes, of course, but what if we do that zoom up and out thing?  You know, like we can do on Google earth, where we take the focus off that one pot and now begin to see not only the stove, but the entire kitchen.

00:03:25

Let's imagine that on the stove, we see that there isn’t just one pot but actually two or three, all at different states of readiness. One pot may be for tomorrow’s lunch, prep work. The two others may be for dinner.  You know how it is, you have a well-loved and always utilized kitchen.  There is always something either just about to start or being cleaned up, or at least it feels that way!  

00:03:49

The fun part about using our imagination is that we can make the stove of ours big enough for six burners, or twelve or twenty!  This is your life analogy so as I progress, adjust accordingly.  You may have as many burners on the stove, or as many stoves as you like.  You also may use the pot to represent whatever you want.  Where, in my earlier episode I referenced a pot simmering as our life, but what if a pot was one area of your life?  You could have your career in one pot, or career options in several pots.  You could have family in one pot.  Things you are learning, you could have all in one pot or each thing you are learning is in its own pot.  You might have nine pots for your business alone, if you have your own business. 

00:04:37

The idea is that I want you to have this imagery, this analogy, for you to use as it suits you.  Let’s say for a moment that you are working on a big project for your career.  You decide to have a stove labeled career options, and you aren’t sure which one to pursue.

00:04:53

Let me pause for a moment, you know I always will ask you if your thought-deliveries are well sorted, and if you have a good gauge on who your future self is, and are you checking in with them often?  Assuming those are true, then try different things, and know that some “recipes in the pots” are going to cook up a lot quicker than you were expecting.  It isn’t until you taste it that you’ll know it is right for you, or maybe it smells super bad and oh, you know that isn’t going to work. So you either tear up that recipe, or you try it again and over time, perfect it to you and your family’s taste buds. 

00:05:33

While you are tossing a bad one down the drain, or maybe feeding it to your dog, (well, it wasn’t that bad after all) one of your other recipes finishes and it looks delicious, perfect but it wasn’t one you expected to be ready. You were really focused on another one. So much so, that you aren’t sure if this new one is worth trying right now.  Why not?  What do you have to lose?  Try it out, see what you think.  After all, that other meal on a burner might take a whole lot longer than you were expecting, and it may not be all you expected it to be, after all.  You know how recipes can be.

00:06:13

It also doesn’t mean that all of the other meals that are in prep mode, or simmering, that they just get thrown away.  All it means is that this one is ready now.  Imagine if you threw away everything else in the kitchen because this one meal was ready?  Seems a bit odd when we think of it that way, doesn’t it?  What if also, you imagine that the higher power in your life, should you have one, is like the head chef in the kitchen.  I tend to use the term Universe here, so anyone may plug in who their higher power is. But imagine that they aren’t telling you A, what you are making, and B, when your recipes will be ready.  [Ding] 

00:06:54

So they set the timer and the ding goes off with the chef stating, “pot A is done.”  Meanwhile, you were darn sure that pot C was the next thing you were about to serve.  So, of course, adjustments in your thought-deliveries need to be made.  You could spend your time yelling at the chef, complaining that you were ready to serve pot C and that needs a soup bowl, but pot A needs a plate, and you weren’t ready for that.  Or you could lean into the change, switch burners, grab the plates and get going.

00:07:25

Sometimes we do this in our life. We think we have a plan, we are focused on one thing, something else, another opportunity, pops up, and we decide that what we were working on is a complete waste.  We’re going to stop considering it at all and ever again, because this other thing showed itself to us first.  But what if instead of throwing all of that work away, you simply move it to a back burner, put it in a warming oven.  Oh, this imaginary kitchen has three.  Why not?   And you’ll have that other “pot” when you are ready to go back to it, should that happen. Then, there are those quick fry meals.  You know the ones you get for those days where you are busy juggling more than you should be and you toss something in the pan with a meal in minutes.  Those are exactly what you need some days, aren’t they? Or maybe most days for you.  Hey, it’s all good.  They serve their purpose and in life, sometimes we need little escapes (those quick meals) to gain perspective, until we have time to focus on our next project.  The way we escape doesn’t need to become our way of life.  It’s a quick fix, kind of like the top of our life’s toolbox.

00:08:43

What could this be for you in this analogy?  Maybe it’s a hobby that you need to take that allows your brain to think differently for a short time.  Now, I’m not going to tell you how exactly to use this analogy.  I trust you and your future-self.  Your GPS can figure that out.   As always, if you would like to see what materializes in your kitchen-of-life, sometimes the best meals are the ones that aren’t planned and are off the recipe.  You won’t know until you try them.  To dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock, of course.

[Music]

00:09:21

The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how many pots do you have on your stove?  And two, is this analogy useful?  All right, friend, check your thought-deliveries, train your Protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian of your life, and always remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:10:23

Still listening? 

It is no shock that my last episode’s still listening section was talking about things I have simmering and then I was led to this episode.  I love when that happens. I’m a multi-passionate person, so in my kitchen, there are at least four or five stoves and most have something cooking on them at any point in time. It is where I am most happy.  Are you like that?

[Music]

[End]

112: When We are Forced to Change Course 🆗

112: When We are Forced to Change Course 🆗

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend, 

Sometimes challenges - and opportunities - pop up in our life. What do you make them mean? I explore this in today's episode.

Coach Christine,

Your Empty Nest Coach

"Life isn’t a one way, smooth sailing go-kart course, or street.  It has detours.  It has bumps.  It has U-turns sometimes.  Yes, sometimes we change course consciously, by making a decision, or we change our mind.  But other times, life forces us to change course for one reason or another."

Take a listen or read the full transcript at the bottom of this post.

⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll down ⇓, so you don't miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓

🎙An unexpected challenge - or opportunity - is in your life? What are you making it mean? Coach Christine discusses in this #Podcast episode #EmptyNest  #Podcast #WomenEmpoweringWomen  #Opportunities #Challenges💚

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This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode 

  • An Analogy for When Life Takes You Off Your Expected Course

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. How do you do when you are forced to change course?
  2. Will this analogy help next time you are forced to change course?

💚  Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

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Subscribe To This Podcast

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FULL TRANSCRIPT: 

Episode 112 of the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast


00:00:00

Christine:  Hi, it’s Coach Christine. This is my podcast; it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast.  Today I discuss When We are Forced to Change Course, and it’s episode number 112.  I work with mothers of high school students and beyond, who are in the trenches with sad and possibly, overwhelming thoughts about what their life will look like when their baby heads to college and begins to leave the nest.  My clients’ big question is what will I do with my time?  Is this you?  I’ve been there, and I get it.  Empowering you to write the next jaw-dropping, amazing chapter in your life is my passion.  I am energized by leading you in the process of exploration and am thrilled when you unlock the power that lies within you.  This podcast is my gift to you.

00:00:49

Hello, my empty nest friend and CEO of Your Life!  Let’s imagine for a moment that you are about to get into a gocart in an imaginary, miles-long track that you know very well.  You put a helmet on, you take a moment to sit down properly.  You place your feet where they are supposed to be, seatbelts are clicked in and you do your safety checks.  I’m not sure what those are, as it has been a long time since I was in a go-kart. 

00:01:20

Now, before we walk through what happens next, a quick reminder, that if you find yourself talking back to me at any part of this episode; if something resonates with you; or if you have a quick tip to share with my audience, please take the opportunity to leave me audio feedback either through SpeakPipe or my Google Voice number.  You’ll find the information to do this in the description of this episode: on Apple Podcasts click “Details”; on Spotify click “See More”; on Overcast press the I for information button. Get the idea?  You also may send me an email at podcast@youremptynestcoach.com.  Of course, I always have full show notes with links to anything I discuss in the episode, and a full episode transcription on my website.  Those reside at YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P (for podcast) and 112 (for this episode’s number).  (YourEmptyNestCoach.com/P112).  I can’t wait to hear from you!

00:02:14

Thanks!  Thank you!  It’s time to thank our sponsor.  This episode is sponsored by my membership community, The GPS Support Flock; Your Flight to Success in the Empty Nest.  If you are ready to find the GPS of your life, sign up to receive an immediate and free download of my PDF, "How to Find Yourself in the Empty Nest," our GPS Life Principles document.  You will also have the opportunity to learn about our community.  See the link in this episode's show notes or fly on over to my website, YourEmptyNestCoach.com.  Click the GPS Support Flock button.  See you soon! 

00:03:02

Back to the go-kart.  [Go-kart sound]  Imagine that you are on a course that you know very well.  It isn’t short, actually the reason you love this course so much is that you have it all worked out in your mind on the path you will take.  This one even gives you some options, in portions of the course, which-fork-in-the-road you’ll take sort of thing.  You are partial to one of the tracks and take it most of the time, but today, today you know there is a new segment that has been added and it will take you through a beautiful clearing that you’ve only heard about before.

00:03:42

You’ve done your research. You know exactly the path to take to get there.  After all, you’ve seen the signs and construction over the last few runs, and you can’t wait to experience that new segment.  Everythings ready, you start off. You feel the air rush past your body as you speed toward the route you love.  Some lefts, some rights, some ups and downs, you’ve done your practice and leveling up on those to know exactly how to handle them.  Those spin outs from your early days are a faint memory and you just keep going.  There’s the waterfall you love driving by as you can feel a slight mist on your face.  You turn the bend and know that the new segment is up ahead, but when you get there, you see that the new road isn’t ready yet.  The no entry sign is still up and you have a lot to process in a split second.   

00:04:40

We had a plan.  We know where we want to go, but we can’t go the way we had planned, for whatever reason. Now, I’ve talked about this before.  We have options in how we choose to react to the happenings in our life.  Let’s imagine that for a moment we could freeze-frame where we are.  We could stop our go-kart and make a scene.  Well, we could even get out of the kart, knock down the barrier and keep going out of sheer stubbornness.  Typically not the best option but it is an option.  We could stop the gocart in a safe spot, regroup ourselves, feel the disappointment, take it in and then move forward.

00:05:22

We could be annoyed and give up go-karting forever, even turning the go-kart around and heading back to the beginning.  That doesn’t sound like the safest option but you could do it.  And then there is the option to see the barrier; it’s there for the time being, decide it won’t be there forever and keep going forward on your usual path.  Since we are already imagining a course that doesn’t exist, and have freeze-framed it, I’d like to give you some insight on why the barrier is there.  A sinkhole opened up overnight that no one had expected, of course.  The course operators left the barrier up, but were excited to open up a route just a tiny bit further down the course that will still allow you to get to that new clearing while avoiding the sink hole.  You couldn’t have known this.  Actually, no one does, outside of the course operator who’s currently working on updating their website and letting their clients know.

00:06:16

Let’s go back to our freeze-framed options.  Option 1 has us making a scene, using up a ton of energy, complaining about the circumstance.  That’s energy we could have avoided if we had just kept going.  When we get back in the go-kart, you are so busy wrapped up in the drama that we have created in our minds, that we don’t see the new opening. I would normally say, your Protector is in full control and throwing thought-deliveries in your house and you let it happen.

00:06:46

Option 2, that we discussed, has us taking a moment to take a breather in a safe spot.  We regroup, work through our disappointment, but all while taking in the moment we see the new opening ahead that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise.  Curious now?  We get in our go-kart to check things out.  This is you feeling the feeling, reminding your Protector who is in control and considering the thought deliveries that are available to you.  Allowing you to move forward in a more peaceful place and open to new opportunities.

00:07:26

Option 3 was to give up go-karting altogether. We were so close, and that is drastic, plus we risk injury and accident driving the wrong way on the course.  Goodness gracious.  Option 4 has us seeing the barrier, and resolving quickly to be okay with it and keep going on the course we’ve always been on.  Hey, it’s fun, anyway.  While we miss the new opening, the sign was easy to miss, we get the notification as soon as you get back and have the opportunity to go try again with minimal drama.

00:08:00

How does this analogy resonate with you?  Life isn’t a one way, smooth sailing go-kart course, or street.  It has detours.  It has bumps.  It has U-turns sometimes.  Yes, sometimes we change course consciously, by making a decision, or we change our mind.  But other times, life forces us to change course for one reason or another.  Sometimes there is a new opening right away, sometimes it shows up ages later, or never, but when we spend more time in the mental drama that our Protector would like us to spin in, then we could easily miss the beautiful moments we so desperately want, or that we never even expected could happen.

00:08:47

My beautiful friend, when you clear out the drama in your mind, you’ll gain power and time in your life that you wish you had all along.  I talked a bit about thought-deliveries and your Protector in this episode.  I mention these in earlier episodes, if you are curious to learn more, see my show notes for links on those.  Also, this episode is similar to my Spider Web of Life  concept that I talk about in episode number 26.  In that one, the angle’s a bit more for when you make the decision to change.  But either analogy could work for this. You know me, always looking for new analogies for this journey called life.  Why a go-kart?  Honestly, I have no idea.  It popped in my head, and I went with it.

00:09:32

Of course, if you would like to dig into more detail with any of this, if you need accountability, or want me to cheer you on, all of this is included in my GPS Support Flock where you can comment right below the episode.  The questions I have for you in this episode are, one, how do you do when you are forced to change course?  And number two, will this analogy help next time you are forced to change course?  Check your thought-deliveries, train your protector, become CEO, the Conscious Effective Olympian, of your life and always remember that you are amazing!  See ya!

[Bloopers]

00:10:30

Still listening?  I have some major things simmering in my mind lately.  Is there anything simmering in yours?  I’d love to know.  And I can hear you now, “Christine, I’m simmering on everything it is 2020.”  Well your recipe should be in great shape when this simmer is over! At least that is the thought I’m choosing to use for mine.  Check out that simmering episode in the show notes.  Simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer. 

[Music]

[End]

Re-invented: Creating Purpose, Prosperity and Confidence at 40, 50 and Beyond

Register Today for Re-invented: Creating Purpose, Prosperity and Confidence at 40, 50 and Beyond

Re-Invented
Online Retreat

Sign up now for a free online Retreat for women, all about Re-Inventing yourself! It includes me, along with talented other speakers, teachers, and thought leaders!  I invite you to register today to receive emails when it is live on February 28th.

Dawn Grossart’s energy is uplifting. Our session recording was tremendously fun, and we could have chatted for hours. Dawn’s free Re-Invented Online Retreat exemplifies her love of women’s empowerment: what a gift she is giving us! ~Christine Maziarz, Your Empty Nest Coach

Dawn has invited World-Renowned Experts as seen on:

  • BBC
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Vogue
  • The Telegraph
  • Daily Mail

This sounds fantastic, Christine, yes, please add me to the guest list.

Listen to Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.

Book Review: Happinest by Judy Holland

Happinest, Finding Fulfillment When Your Kids Leave Home by Judy Holland

Book Review

I am honored that I was asked to endorse the book, Happinest by Judy Holland. The photo is of me holding my pre-released copy of the book – so much fun!

I enjoyed reading the manuscript, months ago, and look forward to diving back into the book, which is available for purchase now. It also has been rated one of the 6 new Self-Help Books for Better Living by AARP.

Your Empty Nest Coach, Christine, holds Judy Holland's book: Happinest, Finding Fulfillment When Your Kids Leave Home

HappiNest: Finding Fulfillment After Your Kids Leave Home is a valuable resource for empty nesters. Judy Holland has expertly curated interviews, quotes, research studies, and statistics to comfort, inspire and encourage those of us who are heading into or who are in the empty nest. ~Christine Maziarz, Your Empty Nest Coach

No matter where you fall in the empty nest journey, there is something of value in this book for you. Judy covers immense topics with well-researched information within each one:

  • Finding Yourself
  • Empty Nest Relationships
  • Guiding Your Fledglings
  • Words of Wisdom

Additional Information:

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

# of Pages: 242

This is my first book review using a rating system. I’ve landed on “happy chicks” as my rating guide. A book may receive up to five happy chicks from me. Happy chicks, for me, means both happy mothers and happy children (of any age). I’m pleased to give this a five out of five happy chicks rating.

A click on the photo will take you to a non-affiliate Amazon Link.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts? I invite you to share below.


If you are about to enter or are in the midst of your empty nest journey, I invite you to join my email list (below)! I also have weekly podcast episodes created for you. Subscribe to my podcast now in your favorite app: the Your Empty Nest Coach podcast!

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.

47: Is this all just positive thinking?

Hello, my ah-mazing empty nest friend!
 
I can see how others might think that I’m all about positive thinking. Sure, the story you tell yourself has a lot to do with it, but it doesn’t matter what you tell yourself if you don’t believe it — more on that in this episode.
 
Take a listen or read the full transcript below. 
 
⇓⇓⇓ More goodies below, too! Scroll all the way down ⇓ so you don’t miss anything! ⇓⇓⇓
 
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> Click here, and then choose your favorite podcast app – be sure to hit subscribe or follow, once you choose your favorite!
Let me know if you have any additional questions – as I am always happy to explain how podcasts work!

GPS Support Flock Member?

Click here to discuss this episode with the flock. 💬

This Episode is Brought To You By

What You Will Learn in this Episode

    • Why this work isn’t just positive thinking
    • The power in believing thoughts that others give you – and that you give yourself
    • How to use “six arms” in your life

Episode Questions for You To Consider

  1. What do you think: is it all just positive thinking? 
  2. Will “six arms” be helpful to you?

Announcements

💚 Send audio feedback to Coach Christine now:   https://www.speakpipe.com/EmptyNestCoach  or call/text to 920-LIFEWIN (920-543-3946).

First Time Here? Try This Order of Episodes

Episode Resources


Full Transcript

You are preparing for the empty nest ahead as your child(ren) prepares, heads off to, and experiences college.