152: Powerful Pauses in Your Life 💚

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The Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, Episode 152

FULL TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00

Christine: Hi, I’m Coach Christine. This is my podcast, it’s the Your Empty Nest Coach Podcast, and we’re on episode #152. Here, I focus on mothers who are freaking out about the empty nest ahead - I like to say that we'll take you from freaking out to feeling freaking awesome. No worries though, all are welcome here, as I’m really all about coaching you to become the C.E.O. of Your Life and in my world, C.E.O. stands for Conscious Effective Olympian. You’ll do this by leveling-up

[level-up music]

your life in small increments - those small wins add up to big changes.

I appreciate that you pressed play on this episode today. Here we go…

[up beat music]

00:00:42

This podcast is my gift to you: a parent adjusting to the idea of an empty nest, or possibly a student who’s wondering how your parents are feeling about you heading out on your own. These podcast episodes will have a base of life coaching infused with reminders to cheer yourself on, and maybe with a dash of may alter-ego, Sally, the hotline video operator popping in from time to time. I’m here to remind you that you should be your own biggest fan.

00:01:11

Some quick reminders: You’ll find a ton of information, resources and more on my website: YourEmptyNestCoach.com. A special thanks to SupaPass, my current employer and what powers our GPS Support Flock Community. I'm incredibly lucky to work on this team, and my friends, I'm working on some really cool things for you in this new online home in 2022, but you can be an early bird and join today while I prep it all for you - you'll gain access to my twice-monthly group coaching calls and a ton of resources - and you'll have today's price locked in forever.

00:01:47

[computer game level up music (short)][computer game level up music (short)][computer game level up music (short)]

Well, hello, amazing friend!

The all-over-the-place life situations have continued for me right into the fall. This month, I got to speak at a conference that was one of my big goals and it was more incredible than I could have imagined. On the other side, in less than two weeks, I'm going to be served divorce papers, I also was recently diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50 - and wow, I've really had to take time to take care of myself as I navigate all of these things in my new life ahead.

There's so much I want to share with you but at the same time, eh, you have your own things going on... and, sure, I could easily talk for 2 hours on this podcast about my life - but thinking about what I want to share with you - is it this? is it that? it kept making me put off recording ... and put off recording and put off recording.

00:02:43

So, today, with one day left in October, I've decided to focus on a couple of my usual segments and then do something a little different. This episode is to remind you that it's okay to keep making time for yourself. It is okay to put a pause on things - my friend Lee Uehara named a break in podcasting a "pod pause" - I love that. I REALLY love the idea of pausing things. When life starts coming in incredibly fast - good and bad - it can quickly become too much to process - especially for my ADHD brain. Can't I hyper focus on one just thing, please? That's what I want to say.

Anyway, here is my plan for this episode I'm going to share your wins that you shared with me - because I LOVE doing that; I'm going to Thank some people; and then I'm going to open a few of my favorite books - books that have provided me comfort over the last six months of my life - and I'll share a random quote from each one.

00:03:44

Back in January, didn't I say I would enjoy the journey this year? Yes, yes, I did.

And with that, I've decided (recently) that I will no longer chase after things. For two reasons: Llfe is too short to spend my time chasing down people and things that aren't meant to be in my life; and by doing that I make room for the things that are meant to be in my life - they are meant to fill my mind, and to fill my time.

At She Podcasts Live I attended this soul-refreshing yoga session led Elsie Escobar, one of our hosts- I seriously could listen to that woman talk for days on end - about anything - her goats, her family, podcasting, her childhood experiences, you name it. But what Elsie challenged us to do that morning - in the yoga session - was to set an intention for the conference. I didn't have one. I was already speaking which was a goal of mine, and I was going to be happy with whatever came next. So, I blanked - and then I realized my intention was to go with whatever was presented to me. Whatever is presented to me.

00:04:56

During the conference, I had people invite me on their podcast. I had a media buyer talk to me about sponsorship. I met people I want to work with in the future and can't wait to share their stories and knowledge with you!

What will come out of all of this?

Well, there is a part two to this - it's important - and that is that I yes, I have put things out into the world, and sure, I'll do my follow-up but I've decided that (the part two is REALLY important)

• that decision to no longer chase after things. Oh, I'll put myself out there for anything that seems remotely reasonable or not reasonable (for example - I applied to Survivor - yes the CBS show) but that is where I leave them and I'll see what happens. My worth isn't based on the opportunities that are presented to me.

00:05:48

I'm here to enjoy the journey. I've fully embraced that, and I'm going to have find the fun in experiences and find the peace. I'm going to take care of myself; use my C.E.O. toolbox items well and embrace things that make sense to me - and some things that make no sense at all.

Life has gotten really exciting when I present myself to a ton of opportunities and then see where they take me. I don't know about you but I'm really excited to see what happens next. I'm truly - kind of ready for almost -anything.

In my last episode, I know I've promised you details about different aspects of my life. If you were waiting to hear that - let me know. I'm kind of curious who really wants to know this. I do have a plan for next episode. I haven't forgotten about them and I will share that.

00:06:38

[computer game level up music (short)]

Celebrating you and your wins.

First our wins from TikTok followers:

SunnyDay shares, " I started taking medication for anxiety and it's been three weeks without any anxiety or sensory overloads ."

**SorryCurve shared, "**I got hired as a substitute teacher while I'm finishing my degree to be a SpEd teacher ."

And I love this one: Nina shares, "My mom and I have finally come to peace with me moving out, we're both so excited instead of anxious about leaving the nest!"

And a win from Instagram: **Carolyn of WellnessWhileWalking shares, "**I'm a month into journaling most days. It's been a hard practice to maintain, but I'm doing better this time around!"

[crowd cheers]

00:07:23

Some thank yous that I feel [are] necessary to share...

First is She Podcasts Live - I had high expectations for the event but I also was going to be peaceful if it met none of my expectations. I'm happy to report that my session was so much fun - and well attended and that the conference exceeded all of my expectations. Thank you to Jess & Elsie and the entire She Podcasts Live team for your dedication to serve your community. While I did get to share some personal reasons with both of you about how important this conference was to me, I want to publicly share that these two women have done so much for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

00:08:06

Thank you to my two podcasting besties Elaine and Carolyn. If you are regular listener you've heard me mention them before. We met in person at She Podcasts Live 2019 and we have been in zoom calls every two weeks for the last two years! They have become incredible friends of mine and we were able to reunite in Scottsdale at She Podcasts Live this month where we celebrated Carolyn's birthday, enjoyed time at a train park, Elaine helped me with my presentation, and where Carolyn and Elaine embraced my daughter and vice versa. So much so that Elaine now hosts a THIRD podcast - because two isn't enough - but this one with my daughter - these two women are hysterical together - I've heard some clips of their first episode and it is a riot. If you don't mind some cursing and would love to be entertained you'll have to check it out. It's called Wonka Watch.

00:09:00

I'm thankful to the amazing flock member Doria - I believe Doria found me on TikTok - but she'll correct me if I'm wrong - [giggle], she joined my flock and has been incredibly supportive of the podcast and the flock. She even reached out to me to wish me a safe and fun journey heading to the conference and with a special treat. Thank you Doria. Your encouragement has been wonderful and just what I need at the right time.

I am thankful to myself for the pause that I'm allowing in my life as I process all that has changed over the last six months and as I process new opportunities.

00:09:33

My final thanks is to you, my listener. Whether you are new to this podcast or have been listening for almost three years, I appreciate that you have taken time to spend listening to me. Yes, I'm grateful for the listening time, I'm grateful for the times that you share my podcast with others who need it and I'm incredibly thankful for those of you who reach out to share with me how the podcast has helped you. Over the three years, I've tried very different formats; it took me over a year to find my own voice in podcasting and you have hung in there, I've mixed up my release schedule and you still listen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

00:10:13

I could thank a ton of other people but I'll stop there right now because I feel like we all need to see what the books are going to tell us. If you like this next segment let me know... maybe I'll pick a random quote out each episode going forward. That would be kind of fun.

[computer game level up music (short)]

00:10:27

Here we go, I have five books in front of me. I'm going to tell you the title of the book and the author. Then, open it to a random page and read you what first catches my eye - more than likely something will be highlighted or written there - because yes, I do write in my books and highlight often.

If I feel I need to share something with you, I will, otherwise, I'll move on to the next book. Alright, how fun is this? Here we go.

00:10:54

[music under reading and chatting]

Our first book is Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, Awakening to your Life's Purpose. [flips pages]

Okay, opened to a page. There's something underlined.

"Not projecting the old emotion into situations means facing it directly within yourself. It may not be pleasant but it won't kill you. Your presence is more than capable of containing it. The emotion is not who you are."

Okay, I needed to hear that and I don't think it needs anything else. [giggles]

00:11:28

Our next book is Deepak Chopra's The Book of Secrets. Oh my goodness, I haven't highlighted anything in this book so this is really interesting. Let's flip through pages. [page flipping]

"I say to myself, this situation may be shaking me but I am more than any situation. I take a deep breath and focus my attention on whatever my body is feeling. I step back and see myself as another person would see me. I realize that my emotions are not reliable guides to what is permanent and real. They are momentary reactions and most likely they are born of habit. If I am about to burst out with uncontrollable reactions, I walk away."

I think that is good on its own. too.

00:12:11

I have The Four Agreements and The Fifth Agreement.

The Four Agreements is by Don Miguel Ruiz. The Fifth Agreement is by him and his son, Don Jose Ruiz.

The Four Agreements is up first. Wow, this is another un-highlighted book - very strange for me.

"Under any circumstance, always do your best. No more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the other. Everything is alive and changing all the time. So your best will sometimes be high quality and other times it will not be as good."

And there's your reminder to be kind to yourself.

00:12:50

Let's see what The Fifth Agreement shares today. Ah ha ha - we have highlights and underlines. Ooo, this is a good one.

"Assumptions are nothing more than lies we are telling ourselves. This creates drama for nothing because we don't really know if something is true or not. Making assumptions is just looking for drama where there's no drama happening. And if drama is happening in someone else's story. So what. It's not your story. It's someone else's story."

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Remove the drama and you will get time.

[giggle]

[music stops]

00:13:33

Can I - maybe I should just make this my whole episode. Let's, let's try a new format... what do you think... where I google empty nest news which actually there isn't a lot - it's like someone famous' kid has gone off to college - and now we all need to stop and see how they're handling it - because that's going to be realistic in our lives - let's be real. But what if I just did that and then shared your wins and then opened books and comments on it. It's like weird tarot card readings.

00:14:02

My final book is from Byron Katie with Michael Katz. The Book is I Need Your Love - Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead. I have two pages and interesting enough I didn't write in it but I have different sentences highlighted. I'm not going read them ahead of time. I'm just going to read them as the highlights come through and we'll see if they make sense.

The title of this section? Just asking you.

"Give yourself what it is you think you want. Suppose you give yourself the care and attention instead. One way to tell love from bartering is that when you give anyone a gift out of love, you give the pleasure to yourself."

This is a really good book.

There we go, those are our five books and random quotes from them. I feel like I just need you to sit with them and see how they resonate with you.

00:14:54

[music]

Two Questions for You

Question 1:  Are you pausing anything in your life right now? Should you be pausing something?

and Question 2:  Do any of the quotes resonate with you?

I'm well aware that that was three questions. It's okay. You'll forgive me, right?

00:15:14

As always, I provide content to make you think, my empty nest friend.

My HOPE is that I’m able to provide you with thoughts that positively impact your life.

If you enjoyed this episode please don’t forget to share it with others, it’s the best way to allow it to reach a wider audience. And of course, follow the show in your favorite podcast player!

I’ll be back with a new episode next month - I'm going to keep you guessing on exactly when but I plan to be back to regular episodes soon!

00:15:41

My beautiful, amazing, resourceful friend, I'm impressed by you. You made time to do something for you. Do more of that, and then do even more. You deserve it. You deserve rest. You deserve trying new things, you deserve peace. You won't be given it - you'll have to make time for all of these things but you - YOU ARE WORTH IT. Pause things you need to and un-pause as you need to. Trust your internal GPS and if you don't know what that is, take the time to discover it - it's an incredible gift of yours because you CAN be the Conscious Effective Olympian - the CEO -of your life - and you, my friend. have great things in store for you - remember that sometimes that great thing is a nap.

I am cheering you on - and so is your future self. Don't you dare forget that you are amazing. Chat next time!

00:16:42

[end music]

[00:16:46]

[bloopers]

00:17:17

Still Listening?

I have an exercise that came to me just now and it may bring up emotions for you, so I just want to present you with a warning. You may want to hit pause if you're somewhere where you aren't alone. Maybe nothing will happen, but just in case, I feel like it's worth saying. Alright, here we go.

00:17:35

Take a deep breath in my friend. Let the air out and as the air exits your lungs, imagine things that aren't serving you, disappearing from your life. Do it again.... breathe in —- let those things go. What things came to your mind? Be curious about them. Pick one that revealed itself to you. Take a deep breath in and imagine your life without that thing - breathe out and imagine that thing leaving. How do you feel? The thought you just had means whatever you make it mean. The emotion you feel is worth being curious about. Take one more breath in and imagine a warm hug around you. As you breathe out release any negative feelings or judgments that you have about yourself about anything that just arose. You are an amazing human processing a lot and you have the power to change your thoughts in any direction that you want. My friend, make them work for you.

[end music]

[end]